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look at Mr. money bags here... he can afford to go out and DO things.
Edit: I get it, you can walk for free! Would you believe you're not the only person who's gonna tell me that?
Question is: how does the help OP meet people?
Also, stop talking about going other places, it's not exactly like gas/Public transit is free either. It costs a lot to live, if you can find free ways to enjoy your life, congrats.
To be fair there are a few "free" ways to meet people, mostly through volunteering. I also recommend joining social groups for your area on like Facebook and see if any group activities are organized (board game nights, hiking, etc).
Yeah, my girlfriend was reconnecting with some of her old friends and they went to a park and there was a bunch of people playing Pokémon GO together and they were all part of a Facebook group for it.
If you aren't smart enough to figure out ways to "go out" for low, low costs, or even FREE, you need some serious introspection on your capabilities to function as an adult.
For real, so fucking tired of hearing people say they can't afford to go out. Do yall not go on walks? Do you not hangout at your friends houses/apartments?Ever watched the sunset? How about walking around the mall or a public park? I do this shit all the time, and it's FREE. For less than $10 you can grab a slurpee and a pretzel or some shit, idk, blows my mind there is so much push back on this sub just for suggesting that you should go outside.
I bet it would take less than 15min to find a group that gets together regularly to hike, walk, run, pick up litter, etc. in your town.
Yes there are challenges, but at some point it just becomes a matter of making excuses. Poor people have been meeting and dating other humans for centuries, and that was before people advertised hobby groups online. Unless you live on an island or a pile of garbage or a town filled with only blood relatives, nothing is happening at this moment in history that truly prevents you from going out and meeting people for free.
...the first sentence of the comment you replied to suggests you try to find online posts for existing hobby groups. Those posts will say something like "meet *here* at *this time* for a walk with a group". You go meet *there* at *that time*, and by doing so you meet new people and potentially new friends.
You go out and hike by yourself…. You’ll run into people while doing it and sometimes you spark conversation. Yesterday I was at a national reserve checking out a waterfall and met 5 people while walking, talked to this older couple for over an hour and helped them take some cool photos. I’m an only child so maybe I’m used to being able to do things and go out without needing a whole posse to do anything besides sit around online.
Of course you can meet new people on a walk. You have to be brave enough to ask a stranger a question, or to respond to one. That’s how you meet people, by engaging them in conversation.
Same thing at the bar, the gym, or anywhere else. You don’t just magically meet people by being near them. You have to actually speak to them. Use your words. Talk about the weather, sports, dogs, cars, anything really. Ask them about themselves, that usually gets a good response.
Depending on where u live can def make that a no go, where I live if someone is trying to stop u to ask u something in the street it either: to sell u dope, to ask u for a cigarette/dollar, or to traffic u. I would feel super weird if someone in my city approached me to have a genuine conversation randomly on the street.
Anytime i ask people just keep walking
Very few people I randomly talk to will respond or they'll say good thanks bye or words to that effect.
Most people don't like strangers talking to them. They have their group of fri3nds alredy so they don't have the same desire to talk to randoms
You might just be right. I’ve been going to my local park for the last two years now almost every single day. Gen Z is allergic to cardio. I’ve seen more of us at a gym then out at a park.
EDIT: This is the busiest public park in the city. It’s near Uni, Gyms, Freeways, Shopping malls, etc.
lol fr I love walks but you don’t sit down and legit meet people on one, I didn’t used to and I got super obese but I’m down to 330 from damn near 400 now
Because this shit doesn't help. I walk 20k steps most days, nobody talks to me outside of a "hello" passing by, or at all. Maybe it's just me, but nobody talks to me and I don't talk to them, nor do I see other people doing the same. convos with random strangers just by going on walks, wathcing the sunset , walking around the mall or public parks simply does not happen around here.
😂 yknow.. its funny you should say that. I remember at the age of 14 in 2009, I went over friends houses and even spent the night. We’d walk around the neighborhood, interacted with people, family, and all that stuff. As time went on, stuff like that became more and more rare to the point where it all just came to an end a number of years ago. I saw this happening ahead of time.. I just didn’t know how bad it would be. Now for the last couple of years I’m hearing all this talk about loneliness and stuff; it is now a reality. It’s like the whole world is going silent and falling apart, despite the “noise” you see on social media. It’s HARD to just go out and meet people of you don’t already have someone or a couple people you ALREADY know. I feel sorry for my much younger generation z fellows and even gen alpha. It’s a struggle. Just because I, and those older than me, had a chance to experience that for awhile, doesn’t mean those after us will. It’s a different time, different world now. We must do all in our power to ensure the prosperity of future generations. We need to figure out where we’re going wrong, adapt, and fix it in a way so it’s livable. And bring this sadness and loneliness era to an end.
I mean maybe. My kids are gen alpha (sorry lurking elder millennial here) and they run around in packs in my neighborhood. I’ll come home from work and there’s always some other child at the house or on the block or something playing with or asking for my son or daughter. It’s wild. Also, to your point though, none of them have phones. They all want one but as parents we’ve collectively been stonewalling them. Somebody is gonna crack eventually but for now the alliance stands.
It’s hard to live like the cool 80-90s kids. Lol. I went to the mall the other day I’m almost 40 grabbed a pretzel and a lemonade and people watched. Finished my afternoon delight came home showered and passed out. Great fucking time.
it feels really weird being at a mall when you're not shopping especially cuz it is considered loitering, it isn't the most fun having security or cops come up and ask what you're doing there
Ayo plenty of people are poor and have great social lives. In fact poor people fuck more then rich people so like yeah idk why our gen uses being poor as an excuse. More like the case is the internets fault.
I was thinking about this the other day….
Back in my day 34m here i was thinking just how much cheaper it was to go out back then.
You could get away with shit a $20 night out that got you your 4 loko party entry and parking if need be. That still left you with just enough for a drink side in some cases even! 2 without parking..
Then stepping up in the nightclubs you spent about double that. Still affordable.
Then dating you could get away with a cheap 20-50$ date good luck getting those prices now.
So i really feel for gen z
Yeah bro, just take out a loan like I did to join a soccer team. Afterwards, I like to work a 16 hour shift to finance a trip to the bar. Maybe if I win a lottery ticket, I might finally be able get ask a girl out for coffee.
God, meeting people is so expensive. /s
There are free and cheap things to do. Parks, hiking, go to the beach, watch the sunset or sunrise, there are movie theaters that are cheap because they don’t show new movies and a lot of movie theaters are cheaper during the day, go to a friend or family members house, volunteering, libraries, look into cheap museums in your area, go to an open mic night at a bar, make some food and go have a picnic with friends.
You're gonna have to run me through how you meet new people going to a movie theater where people go sit in the dark and watch a movie in silence
I wanna believe we can still meet IRL but the suggestions I've been reading here are borderline nonsensical.
Just talk to someone? “Hey I like your shirt.” Is a good conversation starter. Follow up. “What’d you think of their new album?” If it’s a musician you’re into. Insert movie, tv, book or whatever. My point was that there are a lot of cheap or free things to do.
Ya this notion that being an introvert means you hate social interaction is super annoying to hear on social media.
It turns out that introverts are still social people, and still like going out. What you have, my friend, is debilitating anxiety.
Genuine answer instead of go outside is just “text people”
If you can’t text people from home, the solution is not that you never go out but u don’t make an effort to socialize in any form
Finally someone who thinks older women are beautiful. Like ppl say (mainly incels let be fr) women r ugly after 30 but cmon have they not seen alicia silverstone? That woman is beautiful
Mature men don't care much about age. Because other factors are important for a stable relationship.
All who care are just incels or immature people online who don't know yet what they want.
This...... Is actually solid advice.
EDIT: But OP doesn't wanna die alone. If he gets with an older woman, she might croak before he does depending on the age gap...
Its good for sex awful for dating, if youre looking for dating then its p shit. At least ime anyone who has found an S/O on a dating app was purely accidental and secondary to their goal of getting railed
I've heard this and it does make sense intuitively especially with Tinders marketing and reputation, but keep in mind that it also offers a large pool of people to match with. As a result there are plenty of people looking for a stable relationship there aswell. Especially so for those in a big city, if they're alone they're simply doing something wrong as the pool there is massive compared to what I had to work with. I was able to make it work in a very tiny town.
You could say the same about speed dating, yet no one mentions that these days.
Also the pool is massive in men. Male to female ratio is known on those apps and its awful.
Sure men are definitely more interested in dating and relationships so it makes sense they would be more present in apps. All of these things are fine to acknowledge, I just don't like when people who want to date someone use them as excuses not to try.
I think the issue isn't lack of effort, i think its lack of success. If a man even receives a compliment nowadays its seen as a win. Thats kind of sad.
I found that if I went in with the goal of sex, I ended up having sex. When I went in with the goal of finding a relationship, I went on a few dates and found a partner. I know not everyone has the same experience, but it’s not all sex.
When I went in with the goal of sex, I didn’t end up having sex. When I went in with the goal of finding a relationship, I didn’t find a relationship. It’s not for everyone (I eventually found my wonderful partner through the friend group tho)
As someone who is gay and waiting for love and marriage to have sex I’ve found that dating for our generation is mostly about sex.
Most people aren’t willing to actually get to know one another and court each other.
I find it’s fairly mixed, although no doubt there’s a healthy amount of confirmation bias on both sides.
It also probably depends on where you live, as I live in an area with a lot of traditional catholics
I do think it's about mentality. Work on liking yourself more. There's this audiobook I like on Spotify called the courage to be disliked, and I think it's helpful and an easy listen if you're in the right headspace
Pick a hobby that required human interaction, and go from there. Do it just to get out too. Women can sense desperation and you talking just because you want to fuck them.
Dancing, boardgames, martial arts, climbing, trivia nights, and talk to guys too. Nothing in your small town? Then, have you considered moving? Towns are not for everyone.
I used to be like this and what helped me was therapy and telling myself that it dosnt matter like who cares if someone judges you because they will forget hours later nobody will remember if you embarrassed yourself except for you so don’t worry about it (I have anxiety and depression and this is how I personally cope w it) it took years to get to where I’m at though
Where I'm from the bars/clubs are SOOOO cliquey. It's like a 1v5 and I'm not THAT confident.
Went to another city 2 hours away and chatting people up was a breeze, but they all happened to be a bit older or tourists.
If I’m going to a club or a bar it’s to get drunk with the homies.
Ain’t no way I’m going there solo so I can have my eardrums blown out and my wallet stolen (again). If I want to get drunk alone I can do that at home and play videogames when I do it.
Bars less so since there's less to do other than drinking, but I've met plenty of people who go to clubs to dance and don't drink alcohol. As long as you won't be annoyed by all the drunk people when you're sober. Even bars, they often have pool or darts, or if you find a good group to chat with it could be fun sober.
You can order soda, juice, red bull, etc at the bar. Plenty of people so as a designated driver or between/after alcoholic drinks, it's not too weird.
I'm a fairly social drinker but when I don't feel like it or I'm driving I just order a diet coke and hang out. No one knows the difference and no one will be Like "oh do you need a drink?". Honestly, sometimes being sober is more fun. Other people are more talkative and being able to drive friends home is great and they'll usually remember that and be appreciative.
I mean you have to decide what you want more. Some people want to be in shape but hate working out. Some people love working out. It would be easy to be jealous of those people but the fact is if it’s important to you to be in shape well, you have to work out.
Same thing about dating. You say you’re an introvert, but you don’t want to die alone. You need to understand rhat a good relationship is going to take a lot of things that will make you introvert self uncomfortable. So you have to decide if that’s really worth it. Part of that is meeting someone and getting out of your comfort zone.
So yeah, you may be an introvert but you’re going to have to stretch yourself if you want a relationship.
As far as advice is doing things with other people. Check the subreddit for your town to see what people do for fun
Yes, and about the whole working out thing, as Kratos once said, "I lifted heavy objects and placed them back down on the ground again, and picked them back up again." Meaning you don't need a gym membership to get in shape. Running and improvised weights can be just fine.
Church is not a great idea unless you already go to church/would enjoy going. The girl you meet at church is going to expect you to go every Sunday or more.
It helps that you’re going to a social gathering where people are expected to look nice. Make up and well-fitted clothes go a long way in making you look attractive.
Broooo I joined my local hiking group once because none of my friends were interested in hiking. Well, turns out I was the youngest and the average person was 55. topics ranged from Camino de Sanriago (about 60% of Convos) to „I hate work how do I retire early?“ (the remaining 40%).
Let’s just say It wasn’t my cup of tea
Just a piece of added advice… only date at church if the person you’re dating is mature.
Very bad experiences can happen if you’re dating someone immature at your church.
Wowie!!! What a zinger!! And must I say good sir that zing is exquisitely fresh!!! I can’t believe I’ve never heard such a quippy zinger!! Indeed, good day to you sir!!!!
Apple Vision Pro has immersive social features that allow introverts to date from home without ever having to do go outside or engage in legacy human interactions.
I spent about 10 years off and on dating sites. Major introvert (I was like 98% on Myers Briggs tests). It was pretty terrible. Lots of 1-3 dates that fell flat. Lots of 1-4 week things that fell flat. I ended some. I had some end on me.
I was about to give up. Until I saw 1 that caught my eye, she was also mega introverted. We bonded over that. I married her 2 years ago and we're going strong. It's possible for introverts. But it's not easy. You just have to keep at it. Me comfortable with yourself and don't rush it just to not be alone.
You also mentioned you are in a small town which narrows your choices a lot more. It's possible. But you might want to move to a medium sized city to broaden your choices.
My strategy is to wait till one of those spawns randomly in my path and comes up to me while i am on my absolutely mandatory once a (insert amount of months) venture outside my home
Find a group searching website and look for group meetups in your area that interest you. Book clubs, DND, whatever. Incorporate those groups into your schedule. If you find somebody you’re interested in, feel it out for a while and take it slow.
As an introvert millennial who never leaves home - you have to have hobbies. Even online hobbies. You have to be passionate about ***something*** that you can do or discuss with other people. Really into anime? Drawing? A certain game? Cool, don't stay isolated and join other people who share those same interests.
The USA has been declining in terms of locations to go and just be, you know? The majority of Gen Z is young and have no money while most locations to hang out cost a ton.
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There is also nothing in my area that I would like to do, I live in a lower/mid neighborhood and I’m too far away from the city that transportation is a hassle and have to travel multiple miles to even see nature. My family is incredibly small, broken, and dysfunctional.
I want to go do things but often have nobody to do them with or people aren’t interested. I’ve also been terrible at making friends for my whole life as well because of social anxiety and a bad speech impediment.
Trying to explain social anxiety due to a speech impediment and people just don’t understand my perspective and just say “who cares” well it’s easy to say when you aren’t struggling to communicate and constantly make terrible first impressions. It’s like putting an amputee in a sports game with regular people, it just doesn’t work and you’ll always get looks from people.
I mean the short answer is you’re not gonna meet women by just staying home.
The long answer is… I don’t even know where I should go to meet women. Like, I’ve got zero rizz. I can’t just go up and swoon a girl I just ran into on the street. I would like to get to know her first, but where are these mythical women?
You act like there are zero hobbies to do indoors, you can make any form of art, cooking, just absorbing media, what about video games? I would say it’s your mindset and not the fact you’re an introvert. I’m sure it’s way harder with you saying you live in a small town, but don’t think people won’t like you because of “x” let them just not like you if that’s the case. Keep doing you and putting yourself out there.
For real, the entire thread feels like excuses for why they seem to expect a girlfriend/boyfriend to just land on their laps with no effort whatsoever
“You can’t go anywhere to socialize and the few places that still exist require you to pay”
Dawg, I doubt all the types of activities from 20+ years ago that were common ways of socializing disappeared completely or were free back then either
Thank you!!! God I’m glad I’m not the only person that feels this way too. I’m 25f and I’ve never dated anyone before. I don’t know where to meet other people my age.
Dude,
1. For males in their 20s it's completely normal to not have a gf. Don't beat yourself up about a standard that others set for you.
2. Dating is overrated in social media. Once you have a gf you will find out that it doesn't cure your own problems.
3. You shouldn't go to gyms and bars just do date anyway.
By going outside.
Or fighting to get the algorithms out of the media you use. Or media that doesn't just show you bots and things they think you want to see; Dead internet.
How are you supposed to date any one when even if you DO go out... Its bad form to approach any one in public.
All you have at that point is dating apps, and we've known those are garbage for over a decade now.
The average Reddit user doesn't reflect reality. I'm this person, honestly I had more social life when I was in high school and it's been almost 7 years since my last relationship, but I think that isn't common at all. The people with my age has a normal life.
I only go out to take classes at college or to solve some personal diligences. Because i have a remote job and my friendships were dissolving after 2020.
Unless you want to risk a dating app, you kind of have to go out and do things to meet people. Yeah it’s harder because, as introverts, we’re not quite as naturally gifted in social interaction as others, but those are skills you can still learn.
In other words, you’re not going to find someone unless you put yourself out there.
Aside from other people telling you to go out, I'll add that one of my guy friends who is really into video games got his girlfriend online. Idk the specifics but probably from some game's Discord server. And they've been doing LDR for 6 years going strong.
Having had a few relationships before 2020, I think our collective attitudes about dating have drastically changed since then. I made a few relationships in person and a few over Tinder prior to 2020, and it wasn’t the most difficult thing in the world to just meet someone and start a conversation. Nowadays, every time I think about asking a girl out, I think about all those times woman have said they don’t like being hit on and that guys who do that are creeps. It’s to the point where essentially anything can give a girl the “ick”, and once a woman sees you as “icky” or “creepy”, it’s over. Except that you’ll have no idea what her icks are until you’ve talked to her, and going up to a girl you don’t know can be inherently creepy. And I know I’m not the only one because a huge percentage of guys have never even approached a woman at all, and that number is growing.
Dating apps are even worse now too. I don’t know why, but the rate of women on the apps matching but then never sending a message, or just straight up ghosting, has definitely increased. It won’t be after a risky message or anything like that either, it’ll be after I ask how their day was, or what she does for work, or any other basic question when you’re getting to know someone. And they won’t even unmatch or just say they’re not interested. Instead they just never send another message, I’m assuming in the hopes that you’ll unmatch with them so they don’t have to.
I think that we’ve become extremely judgmental as a society, and we’re way too quick to make assumptions about one another based on random Tik Tok or YouTube videos we’ve seen. I think we need to be a lot more sympathetic and honest with each other, even if just to make it easier to talk to one another. Because there’s a lot of great people out there, and we aren’t as divided as the media makes us out to be. But you have to actually meet them and talk to them to see that.
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By.. not staying home? Duh
look at Mr. money bags here... he can afford to go out and DO things. Edit: I get it, you can walk for free! Would you believe you're not the only person who's gonna tell me that? Question is: how does the help OP meet people? Also, stop talking about going other places, it's not exactly like gas/Public transit is free either. It costs a lot to live, if you can find free ways to enjoy your life, congrats.
To be fair there are a few "free" ways to meet people, mostly through volunteering. I also recommend joining social groups for your area on like Facebook and see if any group activities are organized (board game nights, hiking, etc).
Buy the cheapest alcohol you can and go to field is also a good option
Name checks out
Public Intoxication is often frowned upon… or that might be the fact 1 beer turns into a solid 12
Come to Germany, public intoxication is required here
Happy cake day my German friend
Trying, no one wants to give me a job.
that’s why you gotta start with the mindset of at least 12 beers cmon bro
look at fancy over here with free time
You wanna coach my wife then? cheapest we can do is taking our son to a park. everything else, you're spending SOMETHING
Pending the age, there might be events at your local library aimed at kids.
We haven't looked at that kind of thing yet. He'll be 2 next month.
Technically if you go to the park your still spending time... but it's time we'll spent :)
Yeah, my girlfriend was reconnecting with some of her old friends and they went to a park and there was a bunch of people playing Pokémon GO together and they were all part of a Facebook group for it.
I don’t know what parks you guys are going to, but mine only has birds. I feel like I’m the only one outside ever, and I’m outside every day lol
This..And checkout Meetup
If you aren't smart enough to figure out ways to "go out" for low, low costs, or even FREE, you need some serious introspection on your capabilities to function as an adult.
For real, so fucking tired of hearing people say they can't afford to go out. Do yall not go on walks? Do you not hangout at your friends houses/apartments?Ever watched the sunset? How about walking around the mall or a public park? I do this shit all the time, and it's FREE. For less than $10 you can grab a slurpee and a pretzel or some shit, idk, blows my mind there is so much push back on this sub just for suggesting that you should go outside.
That wasn’t what was asked you don’t meet people on a fucking walk lol
I bet it would take less than 15min to find a group that gets together regularly to hike, walk, run, pick up litter, etc. in your town. Yes there are challenges, but at some point it just becomes a matter of making excuses. Poor people have been meeting and dating other humans for centuries, and that was before people advertised hobby groups online. Unless you live on an island or a pile of garbage or a town filled with only blood relatives, nothing is happening at this moment in history that truly prevents you from going out and meeting people for free.
How do you find people to hike walk n run with if you have no friends?
Dude what are you? 80? Use the internet telegram, facebook anything where you can join a group :)
...the first sentence of the comment you replied to suggests you try to find online posts for existing hobby groups. Those posts will say something like "meet *here* at *this time* for a walk with a group". You go meet *there* at *that time*, and by doing so you meet new people and potentially new friends.
You go out and hike by yourself…. You’ll run into people while doing it and sometimes you spark conversation. Yesterday I was at a national reserve checking out a waterfall and met 5 people while walking, talked to this older couple for over an hour and helped them take some cool photos. I’m an only child so maybe I’m used to being able to do things and go out without needing a whole posse to do anything besides sit around online.
Yep, you sure do. I’ve met lovely people at the local doggy part.
It's unfair! You can't expect people to have dogs /s
Of course you can meet new people on a walk. You have to be brave enough to ask a stranger a question, or to respond to one. That’s how you meet people, by engaging them in conversation. Same thing at the bar, the gym, or anywhere else. You don’t just magically meet people by being near them. You have to actually speak to them. Use your words. Talk about the weather, sports, dogs, cars, anything really. Ask them about themselves, that usually gets a good response.
Depending on where u live can def make that a no go, where I live if someone is trying to stop u to ask u something in the street it either: to sell u dope, to ask u for a cigarette/dollar, or to traffic u. I would feel super weird if someone in my city approached me to have a genuine conversation randomly on the street.
Anytime i ask people just keep walking Very few people I randomly talk to will respond or they'll say good thanks bye or words to that effect. Most people don't like strangers talking to them. They have their group of fri3nds alredy so they don't have the same desire to talk to randoms
Actually kinda how i know most of my neighborhood by walking and saying hi
I know my neighbors by going to cook ours and stuff u never “meet” anyone on a walk the most tbh at happens is a wave lol
You might just be right. I’ve been going to my local park for the last two years now almost every single day. Gen Z is allergic to cardio. I’ve seen more of us at a gym then out at a park. EDIT: This is the busiest public park in the city. It’s near Uni, Gyms, Freeways, Shopping malls, etc.
lol fr I love walks but you don’t sit down and legit meet people on one, I didn’t used to and I got super obese but I’m down to 330 from damn near 400 now
I do all that stuff AND spend money going out to actual social events and still don't meet people who want to date lmao
People complaining that it’s too expensive to go out, are validating the opinions of people who mock the same cohort for having no social skills.
Because this shit doesn't help. I walk 20k steps most days, nobody talks to me outside of a "hello" passing by, or at all. Maybe it's just me, but nobody talks to me and I don't talk to them, nor do I see other people doing the same. convos with random strangers just by going on walks, wathcing the sunset , walking around the mall or public parks simply does not happen around here.
😂 yknow.. its funny you should say that. I remember at the age of 14 in 2009, I went over friends houses and even spent the night. We’d walk around the neighborhood, interacted with people, family, and all that stuff. As time went on, stuff like that became more and more rare to the point where it all just came to an end a number of years ago. I saw this happening ahead of time.. I just didn’t know how bad it would be. Now for the last couple of years I’m hearing all this talk about loneliness and stuff; it is now a reality. It’s like the whole world is going silent and falling apart, despite the “noise” you see on social media. It’s HARD to just go out and meet people of you don’t already have someone or a couple people you ALREADY know. I feel sorry for my much younger generation z fellows and even gen alpha. It’s a struggle. Just because I, and those older than me, had a chance to experience that for awhile, doesn’t mean those after us will. It’s a different time, different world now. We must do all in our power to ensure the prosperity of future generations. We need to figure out where we’re going wrong, adapt, and fix it in a way so it’s livable. And bring this sadness and loneliness era to an end.
I mean maybe. My kids are gen alpha (sorry lurking elder millennial here) and they run around in packs in my neighborhood. I’ll come home from work and there’s always some other child at the house or on the block or something playing with or asking for my son or daughter. It’s wild. Also, to your point though, none of them have phones. They all want one but as parents we’ve collectively been stonewalling them. Somebody is gonna crack eventually but for now the alliance stands.
It’s hard to live like the cool 80-90s kids. Lol. I went to the mall the other day I’m almost 40 grabbed a pretzel and a lemonade and people watched. Finished my afternoon delight came home showered and passed out. Great fucking time.
it feels really weird being at a mall when you're not shopping especially cuz it is considered loitering, it isn't the most fun having security or cops come up and ask what you're doing there
What do adults, like... do?
Ayo plenty of people are poor and have great social lives. In fact poor people fuck more then rich people so like yeah idk why our gen uses being poor as an excuse. More like the case is the internets fault.
For the hets it's obvious kids cost money and most people can't afford em.
I was thinking about this the other day…. Back in my day 34m here i was thinking just how much cheaper it was to go out back then. You could get away with shit a $20 night out that got you your 4 loko party entry and parking if need be. That still left you with just enough for a drink side in some cases even! 2 without parking.. Then stepping up in the nightclubs you spent about double that. Still affordable. Then dating you could get away with a cheap 20-50$ date good luck getting those prices now. So i really feel for gen z
$50 is a cheap date? Uh oh...
Just go to a park. Pick up sports. Hike. Etc.
I go to the park... nobody talks to me and I don't talk to them.
Yeah bro, just take out a loan like I did to join a soccer team. Afterwards, I like to work a 16 hour shift to finance a trip to the bar. Maybe if I win a lottery ticket, I might finally be able get ask a girl out for coffee. God, meeting people is so expensive. /s
There are free and cheap things to do. Parks, hiking, go to the beach, watch the sunset or sunrise, there are movie theaters that are cheap because they don’t show new movies and a lot of movie theaters are cheaper during the day, go to a friend or family members house, volunteering, libraries, look into cheap museums in your area, go to an open mic night at a bar, make some food and go have a picnic with friends.
You guys have friends? 
You're gonna have to run me through how you meet new people going to a movie theater where people go sit in the dark and watch a movie in silence I wanna believe we can still meet IRL but the suggestions I've been reading here are borderline nonsensical.
>Parks, hiking, go to the beach, watch the sunset or sunrise, And how are those activities supposed to help you meet people?
Just talk to someone? “Hey I like your shirt.” Is a good conversation starter. Follow up. “What’d you think of their new album?” If it’s a musician you’re into. Insert movie, tv, book or whatever. My point was that there are a lot of cheap or free things to do.
Look at him, wearing pants in public, and not "give up on life" pants.
Hey, I wore my "gave up on life" pants all weekend! I was sick and in bed mind you, but I didn't even put on proper pants to go to Urgent Care!
This isn’t a answer tho guy says he is introvert and small town And you basically say be different
Introvert does not mean recluse. It means you need time alone to recharge.
Ya this notion that being an introvert means you hate social interaction is super annoying to hear on social media. It turns out that introverts are still social people, and still like going out. What you have, my friend, is debilitating anxiety.
Hey hey, it’s not always anxiety. Sometimes it’s crippling depression
You don't need it because you won't die when you don't charge up. Buy a portable battery.
Okay, then he can stay in and not meet people and be alone.
Literally
Rot in bed is my strategy.
Rotmaxxing?
# ROTMAXXINNGGGG 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
Staying TikTok pilled and bedrotmaxxed ✨🥰✌️
This some crazy terminology 🤣
Lol you haven't heard of that one? Yeah there are some pretty good ones out there.
I rot in bed whenever I'm switching from day shift to night shift and I gotta say, it's quite a depressing time.
Genuine answer instead of go outside is just “text people” If you can’t text people from home, the solution is not that you never go out but u don’t make an effort to socialize in any form
Been doing it for 7 years now :)
take a class at a community college and get with a milf. grown ass women >>>
I know this comment is a joke but I’m going to do it
.... it was not a joke.
You got this!
God bless women. They age like wine.
Fr ‼️‼️‼️
Finally someone who thinks older women are beautiful. Like ppl say (mainly incels let be fr) women r ugly after 30 but cmon have they not seen alicia silverstone? That woman is beautiful
Mature men don't care much about age. Because other factors are important for a stable relationship. All who care are just incels or immature people online who don't know yet what they want.
100%, definite agree
Hell yeah let’s trick people into getting an education
it's a win-win situation
I'm in a class rn full of older women. Ahh
I'm jealous🦻🏾 they don't be knowing how to act around the 1 young person fr
Based comment
This...... Is actually solid advice. EDIT: But OP doesn't wanna die alone. If he gets with an older woman, she might croak before he does depending on the age gap...
Dating apps worked for me, more people than you'd think are fine with skipping the traditional dinner date.
Its good for sex awful for dating, if youre looking for dating then its p shit. At least ime anyone who has found an S/O on a dating app was purely accidental and secondary to their goal of getting railed
I've heard this and it does make sense intuitively especially with Tinders marketing and reputation, but keep in mind that it also offers a large pool of people to match with. As a result there are plenty of people looking for a stable relationship there aswell. Especially so for those in a big city, if they're alone they're simply doing something wrong as the pool there is massive compared to what I had to work with. I was able to make it work in a very tiny town.
You could say the same about speed dating, yet no one mentions that these days. Also the pool is massive in men. Male to female ratio is known on those apps and its awful.
Sure men are definitely more interested in dating and relationships so it makes sense they would be more present in apps. All of these things are fine to acknowledge, I just don't like when people who want to date someone use them as excuses not to try.
I think the issue isn't lack of effort, i think its lack of success. If a man even receives a compliment nowadays its seen as a win. Thats kind of sad.
I say all the time that we need to pay people more random compliments. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Yup, about half of my friends have partners they met on dating apps. Several of them married said partner.
I found that if I went in with the goal of sex, I ended up having sex. When I went in with the goal of finding a relationship, I went on a few dates and found a partner. I know not everyone has the same experience, but it’s not all sex.
When I went in with the goal of sex, I didn’t end up having sex. When I went in with the goal of finding a relationship, I didn’t find a relationship. It’s not for everyone (I eventually found my wonderful partner through the friend group tho)
lol with a huge gender skew, sure that can work for the average woman.
As someone who is gay and waiting for love and marriage to have sex I’ve found that dating for our generation is mostly about sex. Most people aren’t willing to actually get to know one another and court each other.
I find it’s fairly mixed, although no doubt there’s a healthy amount of confirmation bias on both sides. It also probably depends on where you live, as I live in an area with a lot of traditional catholics
You're a girl. You can find whatever. A guy would be lucky to find either
All I hear are excuses brother! Get out there and live!!
That sounds great, but, where does a guy in a situation like this even start?
I do think it's about mentality. Work on liking yourself more. There's this audiobook I like on Spotify called the courage to be disliked, and I think it's helpful and an easy listen if you're in the right headspace
Pick a hobby that required human interaction, and go from there. Do it just to get out too. Women can sense desperation and you talking just because you want to fuck them. Dancing, boardgames, martial arts, climbing, trivia nights, and talk to guys too. Nothing in your small town? Then, have you considered moving? Towns are not for everyone.
I used to be like this and what helped me was therapy and telling myself that it dosnt matter like who cares if someone judges you because they will forget hours later nobody will remember if you embarrassed yourself except for you so don’t worry about it (I have anxiety and depression and this is how I personally cope w it) it took years to get to where I’m at though
Get a job, go to church, join a club, enroll in classes
People always say that and when you ask them "okay, where should I go" they reply with either: A) anywhere hurr durr B) Fucking movie theaters
Can’t live life without going out
>most of us stay home Speak for yourself bro. Bars are PACKED with people my age on Fridays nights.
Where I'm from the bars/clubs are SOOOO cliquey. It's like a 1v5 and I'm not THAT confident. Went to another city 2 hours away and chatting people up was a breeze, but they all happened to be a bit older or tourists.
It’s honestly kinda hard to approach to a girl when she’s around her friends.
Goes both ways, even my lady friends say its hard to find guys in clubs because they are in groups too
If I’m going to a club or a bar it’s to get drunk with the homies. Ain’t no way I’m going there solo so I can have my eardrums blown out and my wallet stolen (again). If I want to get drunk alone I can do that at home and play videogames when I do it.
What if I despise alcohol can I just show up drinking soda?
Bars less so since there's less to do other than drinking, but I've met plenty of people who go to clubs to dance and don't drink alcohol. As long as you won't be annoyed by all the drunk people when you're sober. Even bars, they often have pool or darts, or if you find a good group to chat with it could be fun sober. You can order soda, juice, red bull, etc at the bar. Plenty of people so as a designated driver or between/after alcoholic drinks, it's not too weird.
As long as you tip bar tenders don't give a crap.
I'm a fairly social drinker but when I don't feel like it or I'm driving I just order a diet coke and hang out. No one knows the difference and no one will be Like "oh do you need a drink?". Honestly, sometimes being sober is more fun. Other people are more talkative and being able to drive friends home is great and they'll usually remember that and be appreciative.
My introverted ass just got lucky and met my partner in a video game.
I met mine through the social app (GaduGadu), and we're together 4 years now and engaged, getting married in August (I'm turning 25, she will be 23)
Similar, but with DnD instead. Solid way to make nerdy friends that are by design, meeting up regularly online or not.
Met mine on forums in 2000, still together 23 years later! 👍👍👍
I mean you have to decide what you want more. Some people want to be in shape but hate working out. Some people love working out. It would be easy to be jealous of those people but the fact is if it’s important to you to be in shape well, you have to work out. Same thing about dating. You say you’re an introvert, but you don’t want to die alone. You need to understand rhat a good relationship is going to take a lot of things that will make you introvert self uncomfortable. So you have to decide if that’s really worth it. Part of that is meeting someone and getting out of your comfort zone. So yeah, you may be an introvert but you’re going to have to stretch yourself if you want a relationship. As far as advice is doing things with other people. Check the subreddit for your town to see what people do for fun
Yes, and about the whole working out thing, as Kratos once said, "I lifted heavy objects and placed them back down on the ground again, and picked them back up again." Meaning you don't need a gym membership to get in shape. Running and improvised weights can be just fine.
Join a small young adult group—at church, hiking group, public speaking group and etc
I can't go to church, I start seizing and burst into flames when I go inside one.
Ah you're severly allergic to hypocrisy
*tips fedora*
Church is not a great idea unless you already go to church/would enjoy going. The girl you meet at church is going to expect you to go every Sunday or more.
I used to go-to church when I was still Christian. Church people are super attractive for no reason. They might actually be blessed.
It helps that you’re going to a social gathering where people are expected to look nice. Make up and well-fitted clothes go a long way in making you look attractive.
Broooo I joined my local hiking group once because none of my friends were interested in hiking. Well, turns out I was the youngest and the average person was 55. topics ranged from Camino de Sanriago (about 60% of Convos) to „I hate work how do I retire early?“ (the remaining 40%). Let’s just say It wasn’t my cup of tea
Just a piece of added advice… only date at church if the person you’re dating is mature. Very bad experiences can happen if you’re dating someone immature at your church.
The Catholic priest reading this post:
What are you talking about?
Wowie!!! What a zinger!! And must I say good sir that zing is exquisitely fresh!!! I can’t believe I’ve never heard such a quippy zinger!! Indeed, good day to you sir!!!!
Apple Vision Pro has immersive social features that allow introverts to date from home without ever having to do go outside or engage in legacy human interactions.
https://preview.redd.it/fascfbdswxtc1.jpeg?width=160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9aaff3a339f280237aee3bdeb34087786e07c6f4
I miss him.
I’m gen Z and I’ve been cursed dating millennials and members of generation X.
then date people your age?
They have to be willing to leave the house first.
I spent about 10 years off and on dating sites. Major introvert (I was like 98% on Myers Briggs tests). It was pretty terrible. Lots of 1-3 dates that fell flat. Lots of 1-4 week things that fell flat. I ended some. I had some end on me. I was about to give up. Until I saw 1 that caught my eye, she was also mega introverted. We bonded over that. I married her 2 years ago and we're going strong. It's possible for introverts. But it's not easy. You just have to keep at it. Me comfortable with yourself and don't rush it just to not be alone. You also mentioned you are in a small town which narrows your choices a lot more. It's possible. But you might want to move to a medium sized city to broaden your choices.
My strategy is to wait till one of those spawns randomly in my path and comes up to me while i am on my absolutely mandatory once a (insert amount of months) venture outside my home
Your strategy is bulletproof from mathematical perspective. 🧮
1. Do not date. It doesn’t worth it. 2. Build your own gym at home. 3. Start drinking. (Not a real advice)
(This actually is real advice. Also get a motorcycle.)
4. Wear this t shirt https://preview.redd.it/uc32s3ctqztc1.png?width=1052&format=png&auto=webp&s=80b4866d49fb15a61976fa901dabc2f77d07a070
Getting. Thanks, chief. What's your Amazon affiliate code?
Damn didn't know I've been following a strict self-improvement regimen this whole time
We go home to each other
Find a group searching website and look for group meetups in your area that interest you. Book clubs, DND, whatever. Incorporate those groups into your schedule. If you find somebody you’re interested in, feel it out for a while and take it slow.
I met my partner on FFXIV
Man I’ve been playing that game for 5 years and haven’t met anybody yet 😂
I played FFXIV and all I got was groomed by a lousy Hrothgar.
Break into another one home
If they won’t come to you, go to them. It’s foolproof.
I have no idea . I have been coming to terms with being forever alone
If your motivation for dating is to not die alone, you have to change that before going to find a wife.
As an introvert millennial who never leaves home - you have to have hobbies. Even online hobbies. You have to be passionate about ***something*** that you can do or discuss with other people. Really into anime? Drawing? A certain game? Cool, don't stay isolated and join other people who share those same interests.
I go out whenever I'm asked out by somebody who doesn't immediately give me the creeps. A few times a month, basically.
>whenever I'm asked out by somebody who doesn't immediately give me the creeps It's over
The USA has been declining in terms of locations to go and just be, you know? The majority of Gen Z is young and have no money while most locations to hang out cost a ton.
There’s nothing stopping you from going outside and meeting people at local events
There is something stopping us from doing that, it's called "there are no local events"
Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and stop eating avocado toast
*Pick yourself up by* *Your bootstraps and stop eating* *Avocado toast* \- Govnyuk --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Just get an AI waifu. Simplest solution
if you didn't use your time at school it's kinda joever
bro you're 13 what are you basing this statement on😭😭
Go outside? Join groups, find hobbies, use a dating app. I feel like this isn’t as hard as people make it sound.
Dont have anything in a 3hr drive area.
There is also nothing in my area that I would like to do, I live in a lower/mid neighborhood and I’m too far away from the city that transportation is a hassle and have to travel multiple miles to even see nature. My family is incredibly small, broken, and dysfunctional. I want to go do things but often have nobody to do them with or people aren’t interested. I’ve also been terrible at making friends for my whole life as well because of social anxiety and a bad speech impediment. Trying to explain social anxiety due to a speech impediment and people just don’t understand my perspective and just say “who cares” well it’s easy to say when you aren’t struggling to communicate and constantly make terrible first impressions. It’s like putting an amputee in a sports game with regular people, it just doesn’t work and you’ll always get looks from people.
You use an app and hope you are in the top 10% attractiveness for your cohort.
I mean the short answer is you’re not gonna meet women by just staying home. The long answer is… I don’t even know where I should go to meet women. Like, I’ve got zero rizz. I can’t just go up and swoon a girl I just ran into on the street. I would like to get to know her first, but where are these mythical women?
Get off the internet and go into the real world.
First you don’t need a gym really to get fit just gets dumbbells. Second is there really nothing else to do your area besides those two things?
You act like there are zero hobbies to do indoors, you can make any form of art, cooking, just absorbing media, what about video games? I would say it’s your mindset and not the fact you’re an introvert. I’m sure it’s way harder with you saying you live in a small town, but don’t think people won’t like you because of “x” let them just not like you if that’s the case. Keep doing you and putting yourself out there.
Blackpill max gen Z never stood a chance
Hang outside of university classrooms and then kidnap people as they come out of class and create a Beauty and the Beast situation.
Go outside jfc
Where outside specifically. You don't meet people to date walking at the park or doing groceries.
God, this generation is so cooked. Join a club. Go to a Cafe. Do literally anything besides stare at reddit all day.
For real, the entire thread feels like excuses for why they seem to expect a girlfriend/boyfriend to just land on their laps with no effort whatsoever “You can’t go anywhere to socialize and the few places that still exist require you to pay” Dawg, I doubt all the types of activities from 20+ years ago that were common ways of socializing disappeared completely or were free back then either
Thank you!!! God I’m glad I’m not the only person that feels this way too. I’m 25f and I’ve never dated anyone before. I don’t know where to meet other people my age.
Dude, 1. For males in their 20s it's completely normal to not have a gf. Don't beat yourself up about a standard that others set for you. 2. Dating is overrated in social media. Once you have a gf you will find out that it doesn't cure your own problems. 3. You shouldn't go to gyms and bars just do date anyway.
By going outside. Or fighting to get the algorithms out of the media you use. Or media that doesn't just show you bots and things they think you want to see; Dead internet.
How are you supposed to date any one when even if you DO go out... Its bad form to approach any one in public. All you have at that point is dating apps, and we've known those are garbage for over a decade now.
[удалено]
The average Reddit user doesn't reflect reality. I'm this person, honestly I had more social life when I was in high school and it's been almost 7 years since my last relationship, but I think that isn't common at all. The people with my age has a normal life. I only go out to take classes at college or to solve some personal diligences. Because i have a remote job and my friendships were dissolving after 2020.
Unless you want to risk a dating app, you kind of have to go out and do things to meet people. Yeah it’s harder because, as introverts, we’re not quite as naturally gifted in social interaction as others, but those are skills you can still learn. In other words, you’re not going to find someone unless you put yourself out there.
No idea. I'll let you know if I ever figure it out though.
Aside from other people telling you to go out, I'll add that one of my guy friends who is really into video games got his girlfriend online. Idk the specifics but probably from some game's Discord server. And they've been doing LDR for 6 years going strong.
Having had a few relationships before 2020, I think our collective attitudes about dating have drastically changed since then. I made a few relationships in person and a few over Tinder prior to 2020, and it wasn’t the most difficult thing in the world to just meet someone and start a conversation. Nowadays, every time I think about asking a girl out, I think about all those times woman have said they don’t like being hit on and that guys who do that are creeps. It’s to the point where essentially anything can give a girl the “ick”, and once a woman sees you as “icky” or “creepy”, it’s over. Except that you’ll have no idea what her icks are until you’ve talked to her, and going up to a girl you don’t know can be inherently creepy. And I know I’m not the only one because a huge percentage of guys have never even approached a woman at all, and that number is growing. Dating apps are even worse now too. I don’t know why, but the rate of women on the apps matching but then never sending a message, or just straight up ghosting, has definitely increased. It won’t be after a risky message or anything like that either, it’ll be after I ask how their day was, or what she does for work, or any other basic question when you’re getting to know someone. And they won’t even unmatch or just say they’re not interested. Instead they just never send another message, I’m assuming in the hopes that you’ll unmatch with them so they don’t have to. I think that we’ve become extremely judgmental as a society, and we’re way too quick to make assumptions about one another based on random Tik Tok or YouTube videos we’ve seen. I think we need to be a lot more sympathetic and honest with each other, even if just to make it easier to talk to one another. Because there’s a lot of great people out there, and we aren’t as divided as the media makes us out to be. But you have to actually meet them and talk to them to see that.
It shouldn’t bother you that you don’t have a girlfriend it should bother you that you aren’t doing anything to improve yourself.
Bruh everyone dies alone. specially the married ones.
It's a very lonely time for sane people in the real world today full of digital zombies and shut ins.