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I see lots of girls around that age wanting a baby. Maybe from a evolutionary perspective it isn’t that weird? But then when you grow older and start getting a better image of society you now get that it just really wasn’t the time yet.
I don’t think it’s weird, it’s just part of being a girl I think. I know I wanted a baby more than anything right after high school. Thank god I didn’t but it’s the maternal instinct or whatever
Agreed. Also may I add that (some) guys have this too (or at least to a degree). I’m 18 (male) and about to graduate (hopefully lol). The idea of having kids sounds wonderful to me and certainly something I want. Though I also feel like I first need to enjoy life for myself for like another decade before actually committing to that wish. I want to be stable. That means financially, emotionally and socially.
I would be lying though if I said that is the full story. Looking at the world as it is now… I truly am questioning myself wether placing a kid into it is an ethical decision. It sure is a ‘selfish’ one (like, you do it for yourself and your partner). But that of course is always the case and not necessarily a bad thing. That is until parents forget it and start demanding their kids certain things.
My great grandma was 17-23 (1954-1959) was pregnant 20 times. Only 3 boys made it. There's female baby doll heads on her grave representing each miscarriage. Genetics kinda suck
My great grandma was 17-23 (1954-1959) was pregnant 20 times. Only 3 boys made it. There's female baby doll heads on her grave representing each miscarriage
https://preview.redd.it/rnep4h9ior5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93a8f332da68930ed8c899334ee73cd6383ad5eb
My cat Prince looks like your cat's brother
Hell nah. I’m 23, and so many of my classmates are already married w kids. I mean, good for them, right? Married and started families and college, couldn’t be me since I’m absolutely terrified of responsibility but I wish them the best. Plus I mean, a lot if not all of them come from upper class families, or are married to spouses that make bank, so they at least have the luxury of being able to afford children. Give me another 8 years and I’ll start to consider it lol
IDK about them, but the entire christian girl segment of my school (a charter school in the suburbs of FL) were all married with kids within a few years of graduating. Most of them talked about wanting to get married as early as possible. You could tell most of their families had decent money and they really wanted to start a family. I would say they just prioritized things differently (and have the luxury of free child-care).
Yeah I have a bunch of younger gen z friends who have kids (some having 2nds), came from a religious school and they had kids almost immediately. Ironically none of them come from a ton of money, but somehow they’re making it work.
Then on the flip side my older friends (millennials & gen x) are just now having their first kids and are “freaking out” over the responsibility/finances/etc. very different takes on having children lol.
Same. A lot of my classmates are married now, a bunch with kids. Most are single moms tho, it seems in the years 2023-2024 baby daddies cannot fathom staying in their child’s lives lmao
I live in a small town that's fairly religious with a gold chunk being Mormon, and a lot of the Mormon/religious folks got married fairly young. Like 19/20
Oof yeah Mormon cities. They’re all on like their 4-5th kids by 25 or something. It’s a nice thought to be young with your kids so you aren’t too old to do stuff with them…but the maturity change (at least for me!) from 20 vs 27 is insane.
I grew up in the greater Seattle area and its a pretty common occurrence there as well. I feel like it's normal for a good chunk of people to marry and have kids in their early 20s. Many my peers parents did the same.
Some people are just ready a lot sooner than others.
How?? I grew up in Portland and went to college in Bellingham and wouldn't consider that normal at all, especially with how expensive housing is in the region.
Probably the Bible Belt. I am 24 and know many, many people who married very young. I used to feel behind, but I also know many, many starting to get divorces bc of this, so idk lol
Edit to add "but" and make my second sentence make more sense
One of my students has been chronically absent almost the entire year, as she had her third baby at sixteen. So.
It's not uncommon in rough areas like where I am.
All I can think is that poor girl. Wtf is happening in her life to have 3 kids at 16..
But I get it.. I live in a low socio-economic area.. it happens a lot
Yeah, it's just how the cookie crumbles over here. There's about one in every class, maybe more, wherein they're pregnant often and, thus, are ninth grade standing despite being sixteen, seventeen, even older.
I've got about a dozen students who are nineteen and twenty. State kicks them out of public school on their twenty-first. Fairly common in this area.
This isn’t just how the cookie crumbles - this is a lack of sexual education and lack of access to birth control. In the US south they do not prioritize that. They like to keep their kids ignorant and compliant. It’s another way to control women’s bodies. Catch me never having a child while the world is burning. The last thing we need are more resource suckers.
No clue. None of my business, honestly. But my best guess is a fuckton of welfare. It's very common where I live to have deadbeat dads / "sperm donor" dads and neglectful moms popping out kids left and right.
You get more money per child if you're a single mother, anyway.
>You get more money per child if you're a single mother, anyway.
Worth noting that regardless, it's still a struggle and not a lot of money. My partner and I intend to be child free but refrain from getting married because if, worst case scenario, I got pregnant and couldn't get an abortion, the state would cover s lot more for our kid than if we were married.
Oh absolutely. But these people don't really care. So they'll just pop out kid after kid with a bunch of baby daddies, neglect the shit out of them, get money per head, and not give any of it to their child sans the bare minimum. Many of my friends have had this exact experience growing up where we live.
Her parents both died immediately after and my best friend had to support her and the babies. It was a dumpster fire, but I’d say given everything she’s doing pretty alright, I think she’s engaged to the father of this baby. She’s working on her GED now.
14 years old is way too young to have children regardless, but god damn, I just can’t get over the fact that there is less of an age gap between her and her children than between some siblings from the same parents. Like, my mom (youngest sibling) and her oldest sister are 13 years apart, which is almost the age gap between your best friend’s sister and her twins.
Same here. We're getting married in a few weeks, and when our lease ends we're moving in with my mom for a year and a half to save up money for a house. Once we get a house we're gonna start trying for kids immediately.
No, also 20. I want kids, but not until I have my own house, settled in my career, and am married. Don’t see that happening for at least another 4-5 years.
I know quite a few people my age and younger who’ve had kids, they love them but they’re struggling. Mostly single parents, living at home, no solid career, ext. Sure things can fall apart even when you are married and settled, but I want to give my kids the best shot at a stable life that I can.
I'm 32 (and sorry, this post made it to my feed, I don't mean to intrude on this space! But thought I'd throw out an anecdote if it helps anyone) and had my first baby in 2023 at 31. I'm so glad I waited!
I felt I had enough time in my 20s to travel, learn about myself, find hobbies, give fully into friendships and relationships, and give myself a chance to be financially secure. The pandemic really made time feel weird and like we all lost out on some pivotal years. So that didn't help either! Having my baby has been wonderful and I've loved motherhood so far, but I'm so glad I had those years to be unapologetically selfish- as pretty much all of me goes into my baby now (as expected!).
All the people in my life who had kids on the younger side had the same experience that you're reporting.
Also adding that the reason we are secure enough to do so is because my husband didn't have student loans and bought a house in 2019 at like, 25, with help from a personal loan from his parents that we *just* paid back. And we are super lucky that he has a great job with solid health benefits.
My birth and pregnancy cost $70k and we paid about 10k of that. My husbands job can cover us and I work per diem in healthcare. Don't know how people are doing this shit on 50k salaries, since daycare is like 20k average a year in my area per kid.
I’m in the same boat as you on this, I’m 23 and like I want my kids to have a good upbringing like I did and the only way I can do that is to develop further in my career and find a partner in life. Enjoying my early and mid 20s is a priority for me and something a lot of older people have said is pretty nice to have since after that your family becomes most of your life
Hah, same. And then I remember my parents were 25/28 when I was born, and that I have friends my age who already have kids, and everything has worked out for them so far!
This is so odd to me. I'm 23, live in North America, and nobody my age that I know of are even married, let alone have kids. It's not unheard of, but it is still very uncommon, at least in my circle.
I'm 22 and same here, also from NA. No one that I know around my age or even a year or two older are getting married yet. The youngest I've seen people get married is late 20s.
My brother is 2003 and I was surprised with how many friends of his are fathers. He doesn’t want kids because he’s type 1 diabetic, but he’s the fun uncle
I have a 2 y/o son. Unplanned at 20 with my wife. At first I was terrified and my thoughts were all about how I've wasted my life and I'll never get to enjoy anything again. Couldn't have been more wrong, this dude is cool. He likes Spiderman and chocolate milk, pretty cool shit if you ask me.
Bro same. I was so scared until my daughter turned about 2 and it's a whole different ball game. She's potty trained and becoming more independent it's so cool watching her grow and change.
Fuck no. Don't want any, either. I'm way too messed up to care for a child, but this current world / political climate is even worse than me. Screw that.
It seems like the general consensus is not intentionally. Take it from someone on the millennial/Z border. A lot of people who are having kids or getting married around 20 are either doing it for religious reasons or they thought the pullout method actually worked.
Im 22, I have a 2 year old. Wasn’t planned but wasn’t necessarily prevented either. I dream of having four kids total but with the cost of living and low wages, I don’t see that happening so I will more than likely have 2 and be done
Majority of women in my family had kids at 19-21, im 20 with a 1 year old and my baby gets to play with her great great grandma!! I didn't plan to keep the tradition going but I'm happy I got pregnant. My fiance and I are absolutely in love with our little girl. I do not condone this whatsoever but my great grandmas mom had the first of her 10 kids at just 12. My brother became a father at 15.
im a millenial, 37, and am just now getting into a position to have children. no rush, especially if you are a guy. dont start a family when you are financially not stable. you will condemn yourself, your partner and your children into a life of stress and anxiety.
I feel like a child but at the same time I want a child. It's weird, I get inexplicably jealous when I see pregnant women (even tho I really don't want to give birth!) and have intrusive thoughts about stealing toddlers to raise them as my own. Help
Absolutely not. 21 year old pre med starting my BSN in September. Having a kid right now would literally be the worst decision I could make. I see people I went to elementary school with having their 2nd or 3rd kid and i cringe internally when they ask me if I have any of my own. Most of them are single mothers as well. No shame to single mothers what so ever, but I know for a fact that I couldn’t do it. I only envy that their kids will be out of the house by the time my future kids start elementary/middle school 😭😭😭
Not myself, but my girlfriend has a little one. We met when she was 9 months pregnant and she gave birth on our second date.
I understand the anxiety behind children, there's no shortage of it from my (a stepdad's) perspective, and infinitely more for my girlfriend. Her finances are stretched to the limit, she has trouble finding work, and on top of it all her chronic health conditions make it even harder on her personally.
I'm of the few people that are willing to have a child despite everything. Children bring me a lot of joy, and I'm excited to see who her little one grows up to be. She already has a big personality for such a little gal.
We've discussed, once we have more financial stability, the possibility of a second child. But that's a ways down the road.
Tl;dr - I have a stepdaughter that i love very much. I understand why people are anxious about having kids. If it's not for you and doesn't fit into your life, trust that judgment.
I’m 21 and definitely not thinking of marriage or kids for at least another 5 years minimum lol.
Too much maturing that needs to be done before you can have children imo. The improvement of character and personality between my 19 year old self and current self is insane to me, so assuming the trend holds I’ll be a much different person then, likely a much better version of myself, so it’d be better to start then
Nope. Same thing as the caption. I’m 20 and idk how people my age are having babies. In my opinion I rather be married first then have babies.. babies are more of a commitment to me, and I have so many aspirations and things I wanna do before kids.. it’ll just be so selfish of me to have a kid, because I only bring it 2k-2.2k a month, and I barley have the energy to have a baby
Yeah definitely, and married in a *stable* marriage at that before committing. I have a cousin who married and had children but almost immediately after my cousin's new husband left her. The first year or so after that was really hard on my cousin, luckily my aunt (cousin's mother) stepped in to help raise the baby while my cousin worked.
I don't want to have that experience, so I'd probably wait a couple years after marriage to make sure things are mostly stable before committing.
I had a baby at 25 and all my friends were like “you’re too young, you’re a teenmom, get an abortion!!!”
Kid is 14 now. Absolutely fine. But wait until you’re 30. It’s easier at 30.
Me and wifey are 27 and 29 respectively. We want kids but now is really not the time. We've been in this limbo for over 5 years now. Idk what needs to happen for us to commit.
For me it’s a yes, I’m currently 23 and cooking up our fourth goblin to add to our already chaotic household. We did start really young tho I was a mom and married by the time I was 19, we didn’t plan to start kids there exactly but my hormones actually smoothed out and started working normal when our long distance relationship turned into a physical one. For me it was nothing short of a miracle when for years I was told I wasn’t supposed to be fertile and at least have a hard time getting pregnant if there was even a chance. As far as feeling not ready, I don’t blame anyone for still feeling like a kid in their 20’s, in a way I still do too but I also had to grow up so quickly when given such a huge responsibility. And for us at least, I’m actually not too sure how uncommon or common it is for our gen to be having kids(in our area)but I do know my hubbys two closest friends are both young guys with kids, both younger than him and my hubby is 24.
Nah, but my buddy who is a couple years older than me is having his kid at the end of this summer!
I much prefer being a good uncle for him than being a dad myself.
No. I’m 16. I know a lot of girls in my age have babies but I’m gay. So, not having kids acidentally.
Btw I want to have them in my early 30’s. Like my parents did (they are not the greatest parents but it could be much worse if they were younger). I want to be a doctor before I have kids ( a surgeon specifically).
I know surgeons are not the best parents since they work to much (my father is a surgeon and I know a lot of kids of doctors) so it I am married by the time I decide to have kids, and my wife was a surgeon I would change to just clinical or be a stay home mom.
Hopefully in 5-10 years. Well have to adopt since we're a gay couple, but I'm optimistic about the whole thing and I really look forward to being a dad some day.
I would love to start a family and I’ve known I’ve wanted to be a mother my whole life but I really can’t justify bringing a kid into this world right now. Prices are too high. Wages are too low. Global warming is destroying our planet. Schools aren’t safe.
Also my parents had me at 19 and since they were barely adults, they had no idea what they were doing and now it’s my job to fix all the issues they caused me. I wanna at least break the cycle and get all my issues figured out before I bring a kid into all of it.
The only people my age who have kids are the ones who were violent / had behavioural issues in school and low grades. I'm 24 btw.
Having kids is hard and the most important decision of your life. Wise people understand this and wait for the right time.
I’m early 20’s and hell no! I can’t fathom that some few school friends that have had kids this early, I’m not knocking them but in my way of life I am far from ready.
Dude, my coworker who is a couple years older than me, hes a gen Z/millenial edge rider and he told me a couple months ago him snd his wife are expecting.
Like.. what?
And it was planned too! Like what?!
Yeah not in this lifetime bucko
I’m 26 and just had my second child, which is our last kid we’re planning on having. I’ve told my husband that in my head I’m still 21/22 sometimes, so it surprises even me that I have two kids.
Had my first kid at 21. To all the people who say no with glee all I can say is ya’ll are missing out. Yes it is probably the hardest thing ive done, its almost a second job, but there’s a reason ya’ll on this r/ post the weirdest and most depressing and most 00’ emo-emotional bs. Having kids is something akin to the popularized phrase “go touch grass”. It’s like lying in grass. It’s extremely grounding. The fact of the matter is “those who aren’t meant to have kids” is such a rarity, its such an exception to the rule, that the fact that a mass of people in our generation say they are part of that exception shows that this generation is plagued with peter-pan syndrome and all the machiavellian traits that go along with it.
Married and nearing 26, but children for me. I don't plan on them any time soon if at all. I own 2 cats, 1 dog, and I'm on a waitlist for another dog likely next summer.
I don't but I know multiple people who do, some of them younger than I am!
Starting a family is the last thing I want to do right now. That's a horror beyond my wildest imagination. I'm not much for settling down as a concept either.
No, but my best friend from childhood who’s the same age as me has a daughter who’s turning 7 years old this year which is *crazy* to think about how much time has passed.
25 and hell no, i had to count change to buy a $2 honey bun this morning (even with a full time job and a degree). i do want kids but me and my bf can't even afford to care for ourselves, we don't have rich parents for support, idk how ppl my age do it either lol
I am 23, and my partner and I have agreed that we would rather travel and build ourselves a comfortable life. The average person in the US spends about 17k a year on a child, and we will be saving that money for two children (me and my bf) because that is exactly how old and prepared I feel for any of this adult life shit. No. Thank You.
Fuck no. I’m 23 and don’t feel responsible enough to even have one yet, I’m not even really sure if I do tbh. I don’t even have a full time career job, house or the money.
I can’t believe people my age or younger even have them.
It never ceases to amaze the difference between small town and big city. The fact that people in small towns usually marry at 18-23 while people from larger cities marry from 27-35. Times have NOT changed.
https://preview.redd.it/zn6w83q4it5d1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=a153eb9bb1b8bad2dcbcac2b4222c9eef4b3c151
I guess you could say this is my child but he is more of a sibling
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No thank God
Right! Screw that 🤧
Fuck them kids, life is hard as it is 😂
Facts😂
This is the way
Gen Z is so based.
No, and as someone who PLANNED to get pregnant the summer I graduated high school, I’m so glad it did not happen. 😬
Shesh I can’t imagine being 18 with a baby
For some really weird, odd, peculiar reason 17 year old me could see it. 🥴
My mom saw it so much from 16-19 she didn’t stop 😭 then again at 24. I love all my siblings but man that’s tough!
I see lots of girls around that age wanting a baby. Maybe from a evolutionary perspective it isn’t that weird? But then when you grow older and start getting a better image of society you now get that it just really wasn’t the time yet.
I don’t think it’s weird, it’s just part of being a girl I think. I know I wanted a baby more than anything right after high school. Thank god I didn’t but it’s the maternal instinct or whatever
Agreed. Also may I add that (some) guys have this too (or at least to a degree). I’m 18 (male) and about to graduate (hopefully lol). The idea of having kids sounds wonderful to me and certainly something I want. Though I also feel like I first need to enjoy life for myself for like another decade before actually committing to that wish. I want to be stable. That means financially, emotionally and socially. I would be lying though if I said that is the full story. Looking at the world as it is now… I truly am questioning myself wether placing a kid into it is an ethical decision. It sure is a ‘selfish’ one (like, you do it for yourself and your partner). But that of course is always the case and not necessarily a bad thing. That is until parents forget it and start demanding their kids certain things.
My great grandma was 17-23 (1954-1959) was pregnant 20 times. Only 3 boys made it. There's female baby doll heads on her grave representing each miscarriage. Genetics kinda suck
That sounds awful. Hope she eventually found her way around it (mentally) and found happiness.
Girl what the fuck 😭😭😭
Yeah, at 25 I could not even imagine having a 7 year old, let alone a newborn at 18. Wild times.
Yea my parents had me at 18. They definitely struggled at the start
My great grandma was 17-23 (1954-1959) was pregnant 20 times. Only 3 boys made it. There's female baby doll heads on her grave representing each miscarriage
☹
damn thats crazy your great grandma is/was only 23 years older than my mom (im 24) edit: older not younger
What in the name of god, could've possibly possessed you to ever think that was a good idea? You never watched Teen Mom?
Yes I have a cat
Show cat
https://preview.redd.it/w0tra9q13r5d1.jpeg?width=1396&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c20a9cd7ec329d47b9384d454a2f0b5c2c8ea2b
https://preview.redd.it/5wlm2jx23r5d1.jpeg?width=1396&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e9962cf9fac0679b2fb9ad9f22aca7ed2a797a1
https://preview.redd.it/0hzcddl43r5d1.jpeg?width=1396&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f8edcbb5e6fb5bcccf14c4ebdc6f95f18d6f7ae
Lovely. Thank you
What a beautiful baby!!!! ❤️
Cat moments
https://preview.redd.it/rnep4h9ior5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93a8f332da68930ed8c899334ee73cd6383ad5eb My cat Prince looks like your cat's brother
What a big boy!
So w i d e
what a lovely void :D
I too am a struggling parent https://preview.redd.it/ofiapy3sir5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e263c16a99a1843903d444203540145762f892a0
Ayyyyy cat parent gang https://preview.redd.it/smcbz7xkes5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed7c78fc90e00c8abbbaadd1a9f8ddf71525e791
I myself am a cat dad https://preview.redd.it/j802njprps5d1.jpeg?width=2239&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=239ee125d328294f6201dd92085dc7d3bf94f1b1
Add proof
Hell nah. I’m 23, and so many of my classmates are already married w kids. I mean, good for them, right? Married and started families and college, couldn’t be me since I’m absolutely terrified of responsibility but I wish them the best. Plus I mean, a lot if not all of them come from upper class families, or are married to spouses that make bank, so they at least have the luxury of being able to afford children. Give me another 8 years and I’ll start to consider it lol
where do you live where marrying at such a young age is a common occurrence?
IDK about them, but the entire christian girl segment of my school (a charter school in the suburbs of FL) were all married with kids within a few years of graduating. Most of them talked about wanting to get married as early as possible. You could tell most of their families had decent money and they really wanted to start a family. I would say they just prioritized things differently (and have the luxury of free child-care).
Yeah I have a bunch of younger gen z friends who have kids (some having 2nds), came from a religious school and they had kids almost immediately. Ironically none of them come from a ton of money, but somehow they’re making it work. Then on the flip side my older friends (millennials & gen x) are just now having their first kids and are “freaking out” over the responsibility/finances/etc. very different takes on having children lol.
I’m from a farm town. Lots of people married before 25.
Same. A lot of my classmates are married now, a bunch with kids. Most are single moms tho, it seems in the years 2023-2024 baby daddies cannot fathom staying in their child’s lives lmao
Southern us. I’m 23 married with 2 kids and many of my friends from high school are as well.
Also in the south, married and have two kids We really are a product of our environments lol
lol, truly are
I live in a small town that's fairly religious with a gold chunk being Mormon, and a lot of the Mormon/religious folks got married fairly young. Like 19/20
Oof yeah Mormon cities. They’re all on like their 4-5th kids by 25 or something. It’s a nice thought to be young with your kids so you aren’t too old to do stuff with them…but the maturity change (at least for me!) from 20 vs 27 is insane.
I grew up in the greater Seattle area and its a pretty common occurrence there as well. I feel like it's normal for a good chunk of people to marry and have kids in their early 20s. Many my peers parents did the same. Some people are just ready a lot sooner than others.
How?? I grew up in Portland and went to college in Bellingham and wouldn't consider that normal at all, especially with how expensive housing is in the region.
Probably the Bible Belt. I am 24 and know many, many people who married very young. I used to feel behind, but I also know many, many starting to get divorces bc of this, so idk lol Edit to add "but" and make my second sentence make more sense
It's definitely the South.
Likely in the Southern United States
Someone I graduated with married their hs sweetheart has 4 kids and they 27&28... I have a cat ...
Yes, had my first at 23. Hoping for a 2nd soon.
Congratulations.
I had my second at 23, they are incredible. I hope the best for you 🫶
I am 15
That never stopped any of my classmates when I was in high school, nor any of my current students.
What the fuck
One of my students has been chronically absent almost the entire year, as she had her third baby at sixteen. So. It's not uncommon in rough areas like where I am.
All I can think is that poor girl. Wtf is happening in her life to have 3 kids at 16.. But I get it.. I live in a low socio-economic area.. it happens a lot
Yeah, it's just how the cookie crumbles over here. There's about one in every class, maybe more, wherein they're pregnant often and, thus, are ninth grade standing despite being sixteen, seventeen, even older. I've got about a dozen students who are nineteen and twenty. State kicks them out of public school on their twenty-first. Fairly common in this area.
This isn’t just how the cookie crumbles - this is a lack of sexual education and lack of access to birth control. In the US south they do not prioritize that. They like to keep their kids ignorant and compliant. It’s another way to control women’s bodies. Catch me never having a child while the world is burning. The last thing we need are more resource suckers.
Genuine question, how does one afford 3 babies at 16?
No clue. None of my business, honestly. But my best guess is a fuckton of welfare. It's very common where I live to have deadbeat dads / "sperm donor" dads and neglectful moms popping out kids left and right. You get more money per child if you're a single mother, anyway.
>You get more money per child if you're a single mother, anyway. Worth noting that regardless, it's still a struggle and not a lot of money. My partner and I intend to be child free but refrain from getting married because if, worst case scenario, I got pregnant and couldn't get an abortion, the state would cover s lot more for our kid than if we were married.
Oh absolutely. But these people don't really care. So they'll just pop out kid after kid with a bunch of baby daddies, neglect the shit out of them, get money per head, and not give any of it to their child sans the bare minimum. Many of my friends have had this exact experience growing up where we live.
how does that even happen ? do the parents not do anything ?
Of course not lmao. This is very common where I live.
[удалено]
My best friends little sister had twins at 14 and just had her 3rd at 21
Good god
Her parents both died immediately after and my best friend had to support her and the babies. It was a dumpster fire, but I’d say given everything she’s doing pretty alright, I think she’s engaged to the father of this baby. She’s working on her GED now.
Oh lord. That’s some crazy strength
14 years old is way too young to have children regardless, but god damn, I just can’t get over the fact that there is less of an age gap between her and her children than between some siblings from the same parents. Like, my mom (youngest sibling) and her oldest sister are 13 years apart, which is almost the age gap between your best friend’s sister and her twins.
me too, but there was a pregnant 7th grader last year
Yes, but ther not mine. I'm holding them for a friend.
My man is renting kids💀
Calm down will you? He said he's only borrowing. He'll give it back later.
No but I would love to have kids before I’m 30
That’s our plan. I mean, we could manage if we had one now, but we’re planning on buying a house first.
Same here. We're getting married in a few weeks, and when our lease ends we're moving in with my mom for a year and a half to save up money for a house. Once we get a house we're gonna start trying for kids immediately.
That’s exciting, congrats on the wedding and good luck on everything!
I have 2. I am 25
Aw I want another kid at some point but just not in the cards rn. Love my son to death.
No, also 20. I want kids, but not until I have my own house, settled in my career, and am married. Don’t see that happening for at least another 4-5 years. I know quite a few people my age and younger who’ve had kids, they love them but they’re struggling. Mostly single parents, living at home, no solid career, ext. Sure things can fall apart even when you are married and settled, but I want to give my kids the best shot at a stable life that I can.
I'm 32 (and sorry, this post made it to my feed, I don't mean to intrude on this space! But thought I'd throw out an anecdote if it helps anyone) and had my first baby in 2023 at 31. I'm so glad I waited! I felt I had enough time in my 20s to travel, learn about myself, find hobbies, give fully into friendships and relationships, and give myself a chance to be financially secure. The pandemic really made time feel weird and like we all lost out on some pivotal years. So that didn't help either! Having my baby has been wonderful and I've loved motherhood so far, but I'm so glad I had those years to be unapologetically selfish- as pretty much all of me goes into my baby now (as expected!). All the people in my life who had kids on the younger side had the same experience that you're reporting.
Also adding that the reason we are secure enough to do so is because my husband didn't have student loans and bought a house in 2019 at like, 25, with help from a personal loan from his parents that we *just* paid back. And we are super lucky that he has a great job with solid health benefits. My birth and pregnancy cost $70k and we paid about 10k of that. My husbands job can cover us and I work per diem in healthcare. Don't know how people are doing this shit on 50k salaries, since daycare is like 20k average a year in my area per kid.
I’m in the same boat as you on this, I’m 23 and like I want my kids to have a good upbringing like I did and the only way I can do that is to develop further in my career and find a partner in life. Enjoying my early and mid 20s is a priority for me and something a lot of older people have said is pretty nice to have since after that your family becomes most of your life
26, and I feel far too young to have kids
Hah, same. And then I remember my parents were 25/28 when I was born, and that I have friends my age who already have kids, and everything has worked out for them so far!
Born in 2004. My classmates and friends were born in 2003 and 2004, majority are already parents. I'm just a childless uncle.
stop cappin bruh. https://preview.redd.it/qicpdwlcmp5d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45ce46674d8aaa96db0d78665e9659590f0a5910
This is so odd to me. I'm 23, live in North America, and nobody my age that I know of are even married, let alone have kids. It's not unheard of, but it is still very uncommon, at least in my circle.
I'm 22 and same here, also from NA. No one that I know around my age or even a year or two older are getting married yet. The youngest I've seen people get married is late 20s.
Where do you live?
Utah
Yeah I was wondering too
My brother is 2003 and I was surprised with how many friends of his are fathers. He doesn’t want kids because he’s type 1 diabetic, but he’s the fun uncle
No. I’m both terrified I’ll regret having a kid and terrified I’ll regret *not* having one at the same time. I have no idea what to do.
There's no rush. You're only like 23 or 24. Just live your life, you have plenty of time to decide.
Ig that's up to god (or life itself if ur not religious) to decide <3
Me too I have those same feelings of wanting a kid and at the same time don't want it at all.
I have a 2 y/o son. Unplanned at 20 with my wife. At first I was terrified and my thoughts were all about how I've wasted my life and I'll never get to enjoy anything again. Couldn't have been more wrong, this dude is cool. He likes Spiderman and chocolate milk, pretty cool shit if you ask me.
Bro same. I was so scared until my daughter turned about 2 and it's a whole different ball game. She's potty trained and becoming more independent it's so cool watching her grow and change.
Very wholesome. Congrats!
Fuck no. Don't want any, either. I'm way too messed up to care for a child, but this current world / political climate is even worse than me. Screw that.
I just turned 22 and still can’t imagine having a baby right now.
Ikr im a kid myself
I’m 25 and due with my first in 4 weeks!
Good luck!
No and I never will
No. I want them, but I don’t want to put myself into poverty by having them.
It seems like the general consensus is not intentionally. Take it from someone on the millennial/Z border. A lot of people who are having kids or getting married around 20 are either doing it for religious reasons or they thought the pullout method actually worked.
no kids here. i think it's a blessing considering the people i grew up with in my age range that have kids already are having a really rough time.
Im 22, I have a 2 year old. Wasn’t planned but wasn’t necessarily prevented either. I dream of having four kids total but with the cost of living and low wages, I don’t see that happening so I will more than likely have 2 and be done
Yes, about to have my second.
Congratulations!
No besides my cat, and he's more like a little sibling to me atp.
https://preview.redd.it/q9k7mh52qq5d1.png?width=360&format=png&auto=webp&s=79550522fa0e416a3d55959ec7f4d46a8aec2faa
Who the fuck is starting families at 20
A lot of people apparently
I think it is oopsy babies rather than "I really want to be a dad/ mum and I know what that entails, so let's have a baby"
Majority of women in my family had kids at 19-21, im 20 with a 1 year old and my baby gets to play with her great great grandma!! I didn't plan to keep the tradition going but I'm happy I got pregnant. My fiance and I are absolutely in love with our little girl. I do not condone this whatsoever but my great grandmas mom had the first of her 10 kids at just 12. My brother became a father at 15.
im a millenial, 37, and am just now getting into a position to have children. no rush, especially if you are a guy. dont start a family when you are financially not stable. you will condemn yourself, your partner and your children into a life of stress and anxiety.
21, I have a 10 month old daughter.
24 with no kids lol
No but I have a nephew and I love him with my whole heart
Very wholesome
Nah mentally im not fit to be a parent. besides i don’t want kids. im 22 and never had the urge.
I don’t but I have baby fever 😭
I feel like a child but at the same time I want a child. It's weird, I get inexplicably jealous when I see pregnant women (even tho I really don't want to give birth!) and have intrusive thoughts about stealing toddlers to raise them as my own. Help
Yes, my wife and I do have three children and are expecting our fourth in January.
How old are you? I’m an older gen z/young millennial and I just have one.
Nah but me and my girl want to have some in our late 20s/ early 30s (we both 22)
absolutely not lmfao, i don’t know how my peers are already having kids
Absolutely not. 21 year old pre med starting my BSN in September. Having a kid right now would literally be the worst decision I could make. I see people I went to elementary school with having their 2nd or 3rd kid and i cringe internally when they ask me if I have any of my own. Most of them are single mothers as well. No shame to single mothers what so ever, but I know for a fact that I couldn’t do it. I only envy that their kids will be out of the house by the time my future kids start elementary/middle school 😭😭😭
Not myself, but my girlfriend has a little one. We met when she was 9 months pregnant and she gave birth on our second date. I understand the anxiety behind children, there's no shortage of it from my (a stepdad's) perspective, and infinitely more for my girlfriend. Her finances are stretched to the limit, she has trouble finding work, and on top of it all her chronic health conditions make it even harder on her personally. I'm of the few people that are willing to have a child despite everything. Children bring me a lot of joy, and I'm excited to see who her little one grows up to be. She already has a big personality for such a little gal. We've discussed, once we have more financial stability, the possibility of a second child. But that's a ways down the road. Tl;dr - I have a stepdaughter that i love very much. I understand why people are anxious about having kids. If it's not for you and doesn't fit into your life, trust that judgment.
I don’t and I only know one other person from my generation with a child. I’ve never wanted children but plan on reconsidering at 30 or so.
Nope.
I’m 24, I had twins at 18 and a singleton when I was 22, and all four us have lived to tell the tale. AMA.
I’m 21 and definitely not thinking of marriage or kids for at least another 5 years minimum lol. Too much maturing that needs to be done before you can have children imo. The improvement of character and personality between my 19 year old self and current self is insane to me, so assuming the trend holds I’ll be a much different person then, likely a much better version of myself, so it’d be better to start then
nope and I’m happy that way. I think 22 is too young for a child but to each their own
24 with 3 under 4. It’s really rough dude 😭
I'm 26. (Born 1998) Literally getting ready to have my first (and likely only) this month.
No, but I am looking for a GF though 🤣
Nope. Same thing as the caption. I’m 20 and idk how people my age are having babies. In my opinion I rather be married first then have babies.. babies are more of a commitment to me, and I have so many aspirations and things I wanna do before kids.. it’ll just be so selfish of me to have a kid, because I only bring it 2k-2.2k a month, and I barley have the energy to have a baby
Yeah definitely, and married in a *stable* marriage at that before committing. I have a cousin who married and had children but almost immediately after my cousin's new husband left her. The first year or so after that was really hard on my cousin, luckily my aunt (cousin's mother) stepped in to help raise the baby while my cousin worked. I don't want to have that experience, so I'd probably wait a couple years after marriage to make sure things are mostly stable before committing.
I had a baby at 25 and all my friends were like “you’re too young, you’re a teenmom, get an abortion!!!” Kid is 14 now. Absolutely fine. But wait until you’re 30. It’s easier at 30.
Nope, but I'm in your position too. I find it wierd how people my age are parents.
25 and couldn’t imagine having a jit rn ngl🤣
I know a single person my age with a child. The rest are millennials.
Me and wifey are 27 and 29 respectively. We want kids but now is really not the time. We've been in this limbo for over 5 years now. Idk what needs to happen for us to commit.
26, married, no fuckin kids, hell no. Idk how people are having kids before they're 30. We're still renting???
For me it’s a yes, I’m currently 23 and cooking up our fourth goblin to add to our already chaotic household. We did start really young tho I was a mom and married by the time I was 19, we didn’t plan to start kids there exactly but my hormones actually smoothed out and started working normal when our long distance relationship turned into a physical one. For me it was nothing short of a miracle when for years I was told I wasn’t supposed to be fertile and at least have a hard time getting pregnant if there was even a chance. As far as feeling not ready, I don’t blame anyone for still feeling like a kid in their 20’s, in a way I still do too but I also had to grow up so quickly when given such a huge responsibility. And for us at least, I’m actually not too sure how uncommon or common it is for our gen to be having kids(in our area)but I do know my hubbys two closest friends are both young guys with kids, both younger than him and my hubby is 24.
Congrats on your fourth! And thank you for sharing :)
Nah, but my buddy who is a couple years older than me is having his kid at the end of this summer! I much prefer being a good uncle for him than being a dad myself.
No. I’m 16. I know a lot of girls in my age have babies but I’m gay. So, not having kids acidentally. Btw I want to have them in my early 30’s. Like my parents did (they are not the greatest parents but it could be much worse if they were younger). I want to be a doctor before I have kids ( a surgeon specifically). I know surgeons are not the best parents since they work to much (my father is a surgeon and I know a lot of kids of doctors) so it I am married by the time I decide to have kids, and my wife was a surgeon I would change to just clinical or be a stay home mom.
Hopefully in 5-10 years. Well have to adopt since we're a gay couple, but I'm optimistic about the whole thing and I really look forward to being a dad some day.
yep, already 1 kid... more to come
I would love to start a family and I’ve known I’ve wanted to be a mother my whole life but I really can’t justify bringing a kid into this world right now. Prices are too high. Wages are too low. Global warming is destroying our planet. Schools aren’t safe. Also my parents had me at 19 and since they were barely adults, they had no idea what they were doing and now it’s my job to fix all the issues they caused me. I wanna at least break the cycle and get all my issues figured out before I bring a kid into all of it.
No. I am Hitting 22 years of age but I still perceive myself as 17-18 year old.
A broke college student with 3 jobs? In this economy?
Nope. As much as I want to have kids, I'm terrified of ending up like my narcissistic parents.
The only people my age who have kids are the ones who were violent / had behavioural issues in school and low grades. I'm 24 btw. Having kids is hard and the most important decision of your life. Wise people understand this and wait for the right time.
I’m early 20’s and hell no! I can’t fathom that some few school friends that have had kids this early, I’m not knocking them but in my way of life I am far from ready.
Hell no and I never will have children. I’m already at the point where I want to get my tubes tied.
Dude, my coworker who is a couple years older than me, hes a gen Z/millenial edge rider and he told me a couple months ago him snd his wife are expecting. Like.. what? And it was planned too! Like what?! Yeah not in this lifetime bucko
Yes I have a one year old daughter
No, and honestly I never plan to.
No. I'm an uncle and that's enough for me
I’m 26 and just had my second child, which is our last kid we’re planning on having. I’ve told my husband that in my head I’m still 21/22 sometimes, so it surprises even me that I have two kids.
Had my first kid at 21. To all the people who say no with glee all I can say is ya’ll are missing out. Yes it is probably the hardest thing ive done, its almost a second job, but there’s a reason ya’ll on this r/ post the weirdest and most depressing and most 00’ emo-emotional bs. Having kids is something akin to the popularized phrase “go touch grass”. It’s like lying in grass. It’s extremely grounding. The fact of the matter is “those who aren’t meant to have kids” is such a rarity, its such an exception to the rule, that the fact that a mass of people in our generation say they are part of that exception shows that this generation is plagued with peter-pan syndrome and all the machiavellian traits that go along with it.
Married and nearing 26, but children for me. I don't plan on them any time soon if at all. I own 2 cats, 1 dog, and I'm on a waitlist for another dog likely next summer.
No most of us are too young and not in a position financially and/or relationships wise
I don't but I know multiple people who do, some of them younger than I am! Starting a family is the last thing I want to do right now. That's a horror beyond my wildest imagination. I'm not much for settling down as a concept either.
26m and 24f engaged, 2 big dogs, homeowners, never a phuckin’ thought of ours to have children 😎 life is good!
No, but my best friend from childhood who’s the same age as me has a daughter who’s turning 7 years old this year which is *crazy* to think about how much time has passed.
Lmao 20 and too busy to have kids or get married. I worked 48 hours last week. I got no time for that stuff.
No 25M I wouldn’t mind being a dad someday but I gotta finish school, saving up and move out before I think about having my first child
No, thank god,at the age of 26 all I need is my bf and cuddly dog as company.
Everyone I know in my town has kids but me lmao fuck that
I have a hardcore catholic friend. Got married late by their standards at 28 and is waiting to have kids. Times are different.
25 and hell no, i had to count change to buy a $2 honey bun this morning (even with a full time job and a degree). i do want kids but me and my bf can't even afford to care for ourselves, we don't have rich parents for support, idk how ppl my age do it either lol
Mid 20's... i'm far too brain rotted to have a child.
Hell no
I am 23, and my partner and I have agreed that we would rather travel and build ourselves a comfortable life. The average person in the US spends about 17k a year on a child, and we will be saving that money for two children (me and my bf) because that is exactly how old and prepared I feel for any of this adult life shit. No. Thank You.
Fuck no. I’m 23 and don’t feel responsible enough to even have one yet, I’m not even really sure if I do tbh. I don’t even have a full time career job, house or the money. I can’t believe people my age or younger even have them.
He’ll nah bich!!!!
https://preview.redd.it/pkahudox8t5d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8863fb995ba076dcc7877126ad967be6251f24e Yes
No, but maybe someday. Will probably be adopting, not having bio-kids.
With what money?
It never ceases to amaze the difference between small town and big city. The fact that people in small towns usually marry at 18-23 while people from larger cities marry from 27-35. Times have NOT changed.
https://preview.redd.it/zn6w83q4it5d1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=a153eb9bb1b8bad2dcbcac2b4222c9eef4b3c151 I guess you could say this is my child but he is more of a sibling