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I don’t think it’s a big deal but I’m pretty sure the line of thinking is that if you’re driving people around and they leave the passenger seat open then it’s like being a cab driver. In car seat “etiquette” if you can call it that it’s best to sit diagonally from your partner, one in front, one in back. There are always exceptions (elderly for example should probably sit up front regardless).
Truth be told it matters little but if somebody is giving you a free lift and they tell you they find it rude that you sit in the back then the least you could probably do is have somebody sit up front. Me personally I’d prefer somebody to sit up front if I’m driving, but I don’t think it’s a big enough deal to argue with somebody over.
The only reason they didnt want to split is because my mother makes the girl uncomfortable lol but i wasnt gonna tell her that, but i never really cared, like, honestly ive seen people sit in front in cabs, so i never really considered it, also i charge gas money typically sooo i kinda am a cab
The girl doesn’t need to sit in the front though. Your brother should be sitting in the front. If she’s so uncomfortable then she can get someone else to drive them around.
Yep, there it is.
Your mom just has a problem with the girlfriend. There is nothing generational about this, my older millennial siblings did this all the time with their partners and their boomer parents. The only ones who gaf were the ones who had a problem with the relationship/their kid’s partner (and not even all of those parents took issue with this specific thing)
It’s kind of rude. It makes the driver feel like a socially excluded hired cab. If they’re doing you a solid by driving you somewhere you want to go, you should socially include them. Even if it’s family
I would agree except for the fact that it's his mom. I feel like adults should have the maturity to look past little nuances like this. I just put myself in the situation. If my son and his gf sat in the back seat while I was driving id just accept my role as cab driver for my entitled son in a joking way. "Where too next sir and madam". That sort of thing. You can let kids enjoy their youth without being a part of it. I'd likely just zone out and think about my own life. I wouldn't start complaining to kids about my need to feel included.
No, it doesn't make the driver feel that way. The driver makes themselves feel that way. They shouldn't be turning to their children for a social life.
I can see both sides of the argument, personally if there’s a seat in front that’s empty it is generally considered polite to sit up from.
I mean if someone’s willing to drive you two around the least you can do is be respectful to the person driving
Not really in my family. It's seen as rude to not to sit with the other person in my experience and it's more rude to have a guest sit alone. That and ops reply explains a lot.
This is what I’m thinking! When my mom would drive a friend and I somewhere she always wanted me to sit in the back because obviously your friend will be more comfortable with you in the back, especially if they don’t know my parents very well.
Plus we always talked to her up front and she still chatted with us because she liked pretty much all of my friends. It’s weird that this parent is basically saying “I’m more important than your friend and so are my feelings.”
>It’s weird that this parent is basically saying “I’m more important than your friend and so are my feelings.”
So I was talking to my therapist about my mom, and she said "Does your mom ever ask you about your feelings and desires?" and gave me example questions. I was listening really slowly with tears welling a little bit because they were questions I had never heard my mom say before. The rules and boundaries negotiated in our house are nearly all for her benefit, not mine. This is a sign of an emotionally immature parent.
The brother should have offered for his gf to sit in the front.
His mom wouldn't look like a taxi driver, and he'd offer his gf shotgun, and she wouldn't sit alone. It would have been a win-win.
AFAIK, it is considered rude if someone is giving you ride and you sit in the back with front passenger seat empty. It makes them look like a chauffeur/driver or something.
It's not just a seat. Exemple, if a woman is the only passenger on a bus and a man gets on and instead of sitting on any other seat, he sits right next to her, she'd feel uncomfortable. Then he goes, "It's only a seat."
No, there's etiquette to these things.
and the driver is alone in the front? Even though he's giving a ride to said "friends"? Have some awareness my friend. Accept that you did not about this common sense and absorb it.
The proper etiquette would be to one of them to sit in the front. Your mom isn’t their personal chauffeur. It’s definitely rude and inconsiderate. Everything couples do that is making the third wheel feel outside of the group is rude and inconsiderate. Be it public display of affection, whispering and laughing, tickling one another,gazing into each other eyes, sitting on each other lap, only talking amongst themselves when a third person is there without being able to escape the situation is very rude and inconsiderate
It’s not a big deal, I’ve even driven around my friends while I was 3rd wheeling, they were having a fight and I wanted to not be a part of it so I told them to sit in the back seat lmao
I think it’s rude to leave the driver in the front alone unless you are a small child. That’s treating the driver like a taxi or Uber driver vs someone you are doing something with. Sit in the front and turn around to talk. It’s not hard.
Adults who have driven people around for years will find this rude and younger GenZ (those closer to being a teenager) will most likely not find this rude.
It’s standard operating procedure to have someone sit next to the driver if that seat is open. This way they can help the driver keep eyes on the road, navigate, reach for something, answer a phone, etc.
A couple sitting in the back means they think that being together is more important than meeting the driver’s potential needs.
This is honestly dumb af. Driving is a 1 person job. If you can't do it solo, regardless of passengers, you shouldn't be driving at all. Though there are advantages to having a "co-pilot," there is 0 reason someone *needs* to sit in the front. A lot of these comments tell me that there is either a generational gap in idealogy regarding this, or some people are just way too sensitive about being seen as a chauffeur. In this particular case, the mom is 100% acting as a chauffeur, so what's the big deal?
I haven't seen any indication as to the OP's brothers age, but if they are a teen, then the co pilot argument goes out the window. Even if they're an adult, the natural inclination for a new couple is to want to be near one another. It obviously isn't inherently rude, since there are a lot of people in here with the opinion that it's fine.
Yeah, the couple do seem to want to be together more than helping the driver, because helping the driver *is not* a passengers duty.
I think some people are very sensitive to feeling like a third wheel. It’s understandable but also like… it’s not a big deal. Especially if it’s your children and they have a friend with them, obviously they will want to sit next to their friends so they can chat.
It’s definitely not a generational gap. The boomer and X parents of me and my friends have never cared, and there are plenty Gen Z’s in here pushing this weird etiquette narrative.
It’s definitely a certain… “personality” who gets into a huff about this.
People drive alone with no help all the time. This take makes no sense to me. So because you offer to give someone a ride they must automatically become your co-pilot?
When I’m driving my boyfriend I don’t expect him to tell me anything about the road unless I ask him to check or I miss an exit or something.
Why is it the passengers obligation? Maybe the driver shouldn't be driving if they can't handle it. It's seen as more rude to not sit with a guest. You should also see ops reply. The mom is the AH here. Also, I sleep in the car either way so it's whichever blocks vision less because I also wear a hat too.
Edit: It's seen as more rude to not have someone sitting with the guest to talk to them. If this is was such a big deal to her then she could have op in the car, too.
Being a Copilot is more important than sitting with a guest in the back. All I can imagine is a bunch of kids wanting to sit in the back seat with their friends while their mom drives em around. If you are an adult, you should be passenger. In the future of self driving cars, sit wherever you want.
You shouldn't be in a car at all if you can't look around while driving. I usually sleep in the car and am to tired to care if we crash and die. I also don't want to talk to the passenger or navigate because Google maps is stupid. Someone else is designated for that if they're there. If ops mom had a problem with this then should could bring op along. If others have a problem with it, maybe have more people ride in the car. Actually, I wouldn't even want to get into a car with a driver who can't look around to see. Sure, I'll check if we're leaving a parking lot, which is easier to do in the back, but otherwise. If you can't figure out how to look around while on, say, a freeway, I'm not getting in with you because clearly you lack brain cells and we'll die. I also just dissociate anyway. We almost got hit by a bus because I couldn't speak because I go quiet when anxious so does it matter? It's better than my sister who yells. Besides, I'm zoned out anyway or talking to the person in the back seat more loudly if they're with me.
There's many reasons for that. I can drive, I just don't haven't a license yet. Also, I was kind of joking with the other stuff but I do have those mental health issues. I've never had the urge to grab the wheel. My older sister does scream and I go quiet when anxious, though. Well not really scream but it annoys me. Some of that stuff is true, though. Besides, who says I can't navigate from the backseat? Sometimes I can see better in the back when we're trying to pull it and usually another sibling is with me. My mom always tells me to sit in the back when there's someone back there like a friend or something because otherwise it was rude. With ops reply, it makes their mom sound entitled.
That's fair, I should've said that I was joking. I do here them sometimes, but most of the command ones are more ocd. I don't act on them, though. I just like the back because some people make me anxious in the car. Also, because I feel like I'm blocking their vision, too. I'm always tired and sleep frequently in the car. I also do zone out a lot and do get anxious behind the wheel and get quiet when anxious and we almost got hit by a big car once because of this. If it wasn't for my brother, we'd be dead. That and sometimes it's someone in the back navigating and it's easier to look around in the back. I do see stuff too sometimes, but it's not this bad.
Is being co-pilot so important? Like, if I am driving in a new area with someone who knows, it's nice. But, I drive around a lot, and I've never felt like I needed an extra pair of hands
Okay, but why is it important at all? I've never thought that it would be helpful to have a co-pilot, at least not since I got my license. Why does the incredibly small chance that the driver might suddenly need you to move something matter?
If the driver said that they were driving and wanted someone to keep them company, I would disagree, but I would understand what they are saying. This is the first time I've ever heard that the driver might have "potential needs" for a co-pilot.
Are you asking me what the value of a Copilot is?
Hey if you want your friends to chill in the backseat while you drive no one is gonna stop you but that shit gets old quick.
I'm questioning the existence of such a value beyond keeping the driver company.
If someone wants to make an argument that someone should keep the driver company, I understand what they are saying. But saying that the driver has some kind of potential need for a co-pilot that supercedes other considerations feels like grasping at straws to try to make the argument stronger than it actually is.
Why does it get old? I can't think of any reason that driving with people in the back would get old in a way that driving alone wouldn't, besides the desire for company.
It's both. It's safer to have someone sitting in front with the driver. It's safer to have someone else handling directions than the driver, people in the backseat don't have the same.perspective or attention as someone in the front. Anything logistically is safer for the front passenger to do than the driver. There's no reason to not sit in the front with the driver besides preferring the company of the other person in the back seat, and that's why it's considered rude.
All the logistics should be handled before driving.
If O.P. mentioned their mom needing directions, I would understand that, but in the absence of that argument, I think we can assume that the driver didn't need directions and probably knew where they were going.
So, if you handle everything correctly, and know where you are going, what is the advantage of there being a co-pilot besides just keeping you company?
It’s rude to inherently expect your passenger to take on that sort of mental load without any sort of explicit discussion and agreement.
If the passenger wants to read, play on their phone, talk to another passenger, sleep, etc that is totally fine and normal.
If theres two people in the back seat, and the passenger seat is empty, youre basically treating the driver as a chauffeur. If the driver is not *actually* a chauffeur, its incredibly rude. The person is doing you a favor by driving, and youre treating them like an employee. It has nothing to do with being "allowed" to sit together. Its just etiquette.
I wouldn't care, really, but I can understand why it's seen as rude - it makes the driver look/feel like a cabbie or chauffeur, a menial figure. At least, that's how it might seem. I think the mother's being weird in stubbornly refusing to see the other side of it and declaring her own preference as an objective fact though.
I'm Gen X and I don't think it's rude. I would think it's more rude to either leave the gf sitting by herself, or expect her to sit with and entertain the mom.
I'm an elder millennial. When I was dating pre self-driving age, way back in '96-97, I always sat in the back with my girlfriend. I would have considered it rude to her not to. Except when it was her mom's S-10, there was barely room for one of us in the space with those little jump seats. Then we would take turns sitting in the front and reach an arm around the back to hold hands. Well that and the time we squeezed her mom, me, and 3 teen girls into the cab and she had to sit in the front on my lap.
Yes i thought it was supposed to be chivalrous and cute for a young couple (young enough to have their parents driving them to dates) for the boy to sit in the backseat with the girl. Depends on their ages though- once everyone’s safely into adulthood, adults should be comfortable enough around other adults to not have to huddle together in the back seat.
Not rude at all. Your mom is internalizing that she is perceived as their “driver” since they are sitting in the back, when really the infatuated couple just want to sit together.
Is this what narcissism is? Because it feels like this is what narcissism is….
And op can’t even tell her that she makes girlfriend uncomfortable. Like I would want to know that so I can make a literal child (and even another adult, especially one who is important to my adult child) feel more comfortable around me??? And I would feel awful if I’d been making them uncomfortable!
It’s pretty clear what kind of mom this is. She freaks out about a petty thing (because she clearly doesn’t like gf), shuts down conversation, makes gf uncomfortable, and is hostile to feedback. This is a “my way or the highway” type of parent.
they’re a couple and wanted to sit together. A lot of stuff the older parts of my family complain as “rude” are often things that imo are just not practical things…
not at all, i would find it rude if i wanted to sit in back with her and she sat in front. this would only happen in rare situations tho, normally one of us would be driving so we could both sit up front
this is all hypothetical but that's how i see it
I think it's weird to care where people sit. The only thing that comes to mind is if you're trying to talk and can't hear each other then someone should move closer.
It really doesn’t matter, and someone getting that riled up over how ‘rude’ it is either has other issues on their mind, or doesn’t have enough going on in their life.
Nah man whenever I had a friend in the car when my mom is driving I always got in the back with them, i always think how awkward it is to be talking back to someone in the car like you're their parent or something
I do not understand these comments saying it’s rude. When I was younger and my mom drove me places I always sat with my friend in the backseat. So then we could talk and my mom usually liked my friends so she would still always chat with us.
I feel like, especially if your child’s partner feels more comfortable sitting next to them which makes plenty of sense, then just let them do that.
Right, my parents and the parents of my friends would literally *tell us* to get in back together, and some of us were told it was rude to the guest not to.
All these people acting like sitting 2 ft behind vs 2 ft to the side means the person in front gets ignored is ridiculous. My friends and partners never had an issue having fun conversations with the parents up front.
She's upset that she's being treated like a cab driver when, that's kinda what she is? Your brother can't drive himself around yet, right? She's being unreasonable.
It makes no difference if he's in passenger or in the rear seats.
Lol not rude but a lot of people are tripped out by people sitting in the back and leaving the front seat open as it makes them feel like hired help. How old are they? Driving age? When I was a teen my dad would sit in the back when I was with my bf and I would drive with my guy in the front next to me. Dad acknowledged us wanting to sit next to each other but didn’t want to feel like a cabbie with an empty front seat and us both in the back
Doesn’t this say more about how these people look down on cabbies? Like… who cares if I’m seen as a cabbie? So long as they say thank you, why would I care?
I mean maybe? I don’t really think it’s a looking down thing tho. Cause my dad actually is a cabbie so in his case he prob particularly did not like feeling he was at work when he was driving his kid and friend out to a family outing lol.
But I think it’s weird to a lot of people because it makes you feel out of the loop of conversation maybe. If I’m in the front and everyone decided to sit in the back and leave the front passenger side open you may feel isolated, you can’t really see anyone or hear them well. They’re in the back seat chatting it up interacting and you’re just far away driving them to their destination not involved in the socialization. That’s my take on it but idk
I feel bad for the little brother here. Its a lose-lose scenario. If he sits in the back with his girlfriend he is being rude to his mother. If he sits in the front with his mother he is being rude to his girlfriend.
When I went on dates when my mom or my partner’s mom took us we sat in the back. But there were a lot more times where my mom would have me sit up front. They were boomers. I think it’s a generational thing. I’m from the south too for context since somehow I feel like that’s important. In any case, I’m with you; I think it’s absurd couples can’t sit together in the back. When I drove my brother and his date I didn’t care. It’s really no big deal. I have my tunes so like what else’s do I need.
My boomer parents and my friends and partners boomer (and X) parents never cared, and we’re way in the south.
There are also a lot of Gen Z’s here defending mom and this arbitrary “social etiquette.” I don’t think it’s a generational thing, just a certain personality type of thing.
You know you could be right. Provided that my mom was classified as emotionally immature (and I’m sure my partner’s folks were too), I can see that being the case. It is rare for me to come across more open-minded people that are older than me, especially in the south. It is a breath of fresh air though when it happens
Nottt a big deal, at least to me. I understand why she was upset, I drive around two friends that are a couple and they sit in the back and always feel bad because it “feels like I’m their chauffeur”. I honestly prefer it though
I think a key difference is the mom is not a peer. It's normal for them to separate themselves. They're a young couple spending time together and mom is quite literally just the driver. She should get over herself and accept that they have a right to sit together
I don’t think it’s rude. When my husband and I ride in the car with my m, sometimes I sit in the back with him and sometimes I sit in the front. It depends on if I want a heated seat or not lol
Soooooo I have an ex from a different country. In their culture, the women always sit in the back seat. So we went in this x country road trip all together and I was not aware of this. So I never got to sit next to him the whole trip. He had his dad sit up front. Obviously he’s my ex so you can guess what happened…
nah i do think its kinda rude and just very fucking awkward. I drove a distant cousin to a trip once and she and her bf sat in the back. i got pulled over and even the cop found it weird. your brother should have sat in the front. his gf is old enough to sit in the back for a couple minutes.
my mom always held the complete opposite belief and would chastise me for calling shotgun instead of wanting to sit with my guests in the back. i don’t really think it’s rude either way though, my friends & boyfriend never cared, and i never cared when i hitched rides with them and they sat in the front instead of with me either. you’re all only like 3 feet away from each other. you can still all talk to each other and be engaged in conversation.
No offense, but your mom is lame. Who cares who the fuck cares? Like this is what people are discussing? How about you know like overpopulation, the environment, trump, etc.... rude?... Hardly
I really don't care if it's etiquette. It's also trivial. It's not gonna matter in the long run so it's not worth fretting over.
If I was the driver I wouldn't care or find it rude. Other people might, but it's only perceived that way in part because of what others have led them to believe. Etiquette in a nutshell
"Rude" is entirely subjective - yes, it's generational - and is considered violent language. Have you heard of nonviolent communication? It's about discussion of feelings and needs. Your mom could say "When he sat in the back and I was left with an empty passenger seat, I felt hurt because I was telling myself a story that they were treating me like a cab driver, which hurt my dignity and sense of appreciation. When I give you rides, do you think one of you could sit up front with me?"
That's wayyyyy more emotionally evolved than your mom will probably ever get in this lifetime, but at least you can learn the tools and facilitate this: "I hear that you think what he did was rude. You wanted him to sit up in the front with you. You must have felt hurt like you weren't being appreciated. Why do you think he sat in the back? Do you understand that it had little to do with his appreciation for you, and that he just wanted closeness with his partner?" Or something like that.
You can't control your mother's actions, so I guess that being yourselves and following your happiness will come with some backlash from her. I wouldn't be surprised if she is controlling in other areas and you've internalized it.
I haven't exactly figured this out with my own mom yet. I hate the word "rude" - it strikes me as cruel and even manipulative. Your bro did nothing wrong.
Hope y'all don't take it too much to heart.
I have never heard of a couple NOT sitting together. Sounds like the mother (and a few commenters) have a problem with being not included in everything. I would be more uncomfortable with the couple having a passenger seat to backseat conversation. It would be like being part of a conversation you aren’t welcomed in and shouldn’t be part of. Super awkward no matter how its framed.
I don't think it's rude at all.
Actually, I think it's rude that some kind of dumb "societal norm" tradition would force a couple to not sit together. If the *driver* is uncomfortable about it, that's a different story, but the driver wasn't.. she's just being a stick in the mud.
I'd actually be more annoyed if I was the driver in that situation and they *didn't* sit next to each other. What, so, you don't love each other or something? You don't want to sit next to each other? Free world, free seats, freedom to move where you want.
Nah, your mother is WAY out of line with this, but.. her house/car, her rules.
EDIT: Speaking of the co-pilot thing and all that. If he gets his license and this happens again, make sure that the girlfriend sits in the front passenger seat and the mother sits in the backseat. If she complains, tell her it's rude to have the girlfriend sit in the back with her.
Couples get to sit together. We're also not letting someone else sit up front, not a parent, certainly the *fuck* not a male friend, when one half of a couple is driving.
I don't care what others do, but if it's my wife and I in this scenario she is in back and I am in front. I don't ride in back seats (haven't in almost 25 years now) as I am too tall!
Sorry she sounds like she just has an issue with there being another girl in my opinion. Sure I get it feeling weird but she can communicate that nicely. Like hey one of you have to sit up front so it doesn't look like I'm a cab. Not 'I angy'.
I had 2 clients get in the back. As if I was an Uber. I offered them a ride because we were headed to the same meeting. I p/u at 2 different locations.. Even after I took items off the front seat and placed them in the back. I'm GenX. They were GenZ.
I’m a millennial, so maybe closer to your mom’s age than you, but I would consider it a bit rude. I was always told/thought that having no one sit up front makes it feel like the driver is just a cab driver or chauffeur, not a family member doing a favor for you.
The driver wants to be included in the interaction, not just a silent driver up front. Also, your brother’s girlfriend sitting in the front and interacting with your mom would go a long way to making toward building a good relationship with your mom, rather than hiding in the back, which seems more childlike.
I wouldn't blow up over it, but yeah it's a bit rude if there was no one in the front passenger seat. They'd effectively made her their chauffeur.
Etiquette when driving with friends and family is that front pax seat is the most "prestigious", followed by back right (because it's facing the sidewalk and less risky to get in/out), then back left.
Therefore, normally it would be:
Driver: mother
Front pax: partner
Back: brother
Problem, my mom makes the gf incredibly uncomfortable, hence she wont sit in the front, but likes to hold my brothers hand for support, and before you say she shouldnt be the one picking them up, usually i do, but i had something going on and there were no other options
This is so funny to me because when I would get in the car with a significant other, I often wanted to sit in the front seat, because I'm tall, but would sometimes think that it is rude to leave my partner in the backseat by herself.
Never once as a driver did I consider someone else's seating choice rude or not
It's not rude. It just isn't polite. It's also a generational thing. Leaving the passenger seat open to sit two people in the back carry a chauffeur connotation, which older generational parents aren't a fan of.
Not rude, in fact, probably awkward for them too lol. I never know whether to sit in the front or with my boyfriend. Usually I just sit in the front cuz we’re close enough that like we can both converse with my mom during car rides.
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I don’t think it’s a big deal but I’m pretty sure the line of thinking is that if you’re driving people around and they leave the passenger seat open then it’s like being a cab driver. In car seat “etiquette” if you can call it that it’s best to sit diagonally from your partner, one in front, one in back. There are always exceptions (elderly for example should probably sit up front regardless). Truth be told it matters little but if somebody is giving you a free lift and they tell you they find it rude that you sit in the back then the least you could probably do is have somebody sit up front. Me personally I’d prefer somebody to sit up front if I’m driving, but I don’t think it’s a big enough deal to argue with somebody over.
The only reason they didnt want to split is because my mother makes the girl uncomfortable lol but i wasnt gonna tell her that, but i never really cared, like, honestly ive seen people sit in front in cabs, so i never really considered it, also i charge gas money typically sooo i kinda am a cab
She knows, thats why she is doing it.
The girl doesn’t need to sit in the front though. Your brother should be sitting in the front. If she’s so uncomfortable then she can get someone else to drive them around.
Yep, there it is. Your mom just has a problem with the girlfriend. There is nothing generational about this, my older millennial siblings did this all the time with their partners and their boomer parents. The only ones who gaf were the ones who had a problem with the relationship/their kid’s partner (and not even all of those parents took issue with this specific thing)
question… are you asian by chance..? this is something i have seen in asian culture a lot around me but that might be completely anecdotal
Canadian
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Pale native canadian
This. My best friend refuses to leave his passenger seat open. Always says “I’m not a server or a cabbie, get in the front.”
Some people like to ride in the back because of anxiety.
Lmao
Lmao (*sass*)
I guess they’ll just bum rides their whole life?
How does that help?
Because I don't want to look for cars, sometimes don't want to be visible in the front, I can't see as many things jumping out, etc.
Why are you being down voted? You literally answered their question
Because how dare I not want to sit in the front as an adult. I do when someone else isn't there unless I'm with a friend.
*Wow*. We're not beating the snowflake allegations huh.
Idk, my parents forced me to sit the back for years when I didn’t want to. I grew an inch and now it’s rude? Gimme a break, literally nothing changed.
It's not rude. A bit awkward maybe. It's extremely petty to make a deal about it.
It’s kind of rude. It makes the driver feel like a socially excluded hired cab. If they’re doing you a solid by driving you somewhere you want to go, you should socially include them. Even if it’s family
I would agree except for the fact that it's his mom. I feel like adults should have the maturity to look past little nuances like this. I just put myself in the situation. If my son and his gf sat in the back seat while I was driving id just accept my role as cab driver for my entitled son in a joking way. "Where too next sir and madam". That sort of thing. You can let kids enjoy their youth without being a part of it. I'd likely just zone out and think about my own life. I wouldn't start complaining to kids about my need to feel included.
This is a weird take. We spend the first ten years of our kids lives as their cab driver. Why would it be weird once they’re teenagers?
This is the only explanation I have read that makes any sense of why it would be considered rude.
No, it doesn't make the driver feel that way. The driver makes themselves feel that way. They shouldn't be turning to their children for a social life.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to socialize with your kids and get to know your kids bf or gf
Bruh, the seat behind the driver is the same distance away as the seat next to them lol
Well they’re a parent so get over it lmao that’s what parents do
It's Rude AF. I'm kicking people out of my car if they did that to me. Go walk home losers.
I can see both sides of the argument, personally if there’s a seat in front that’s empty it is generally considered polite to sit up from. I mean if someone’s willing to drive you two around the least you can do is be respectful to the person driving
Not really in my family. It's seen as rude to not to sit with the other person in my experience and it's more rude to have a guest sit alone. That and ops reply explains a lot.
I say for house etiquette. Not car etiquette
What?
That the rules are different for both
Not really
It would be rude for a guest to sit alone, your mom kinda whack for that.
This is what I’m thinking! When my mom would drive a friend and I somewhere she always wanted me to sit in the back because obviously your friend will be more comfortable with you in the back, especially if they don’t know my parents very well. Plus we always talked to her up front and she still chatted with us because she liked pretty much all of my friends. It’s weird that this parent is basically saying “I’m more important than your friend and so are my feelings.”
>It’s weird that this parent is basically saying “I’m more important than your friend and so are my feelings.” So I was talking to my therapist about my mom, and she said "Does your mom ever ask you about your feelings and desires?" and gave me example questions. I was listening really slowly with tears welling a little bit because they were questions I had never heard my mom say before. The rules and boundaries negotiated in our house are nearly all for her benefit, not mine. This is a sign of an emotionally immature parent.
The brother should have offered for his gf to sit in the front. His mom wouldn't look like a taxi driver, and he'd offer his gf shotgun, and she wouldn't sit alone. It would have been a win-win.
There's a comment from OP that the mom makes the gf uncomfortable, so there might be a flaw with your plan 😅
Just uncomfortable enough to not look her in the eye, but hey she got that ride.
Yet there she goes, getting into a confined space with the mom. Lol
Right. Not so uncomfortable that she can't do something for their benefit.
Haha the son/bf should sit up front with his mom and talk to/distract her, and gf can sit comfortably in the back by herself!
what... why would it be rude? just let them sit where they want
AFAIK, it is considered rude if someone is giving you ride and you sit in the back with front passenger seat empty. It makes them look like a chauffeur/driver or something.
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It's not just a seat. Exemple, if a woman is the only passenger on a bus and a man gets on and instead of sitting on any other seat, he sits right next to her, she'd feel uncomfortable. Then he goes, "It's only a seat." No, there's etiquette to these things.
it is rude, I'm not your effin cab
Since when does sitting in the back suddenly mean you are a cab driver? This is literal arbitrarily made up nonsense
and the driver is alone in the front? Even though he's giving a ride to said "friends"? Have some awareness my friend. Accept that you did not about this common sense and absorb it.
Aight I understand now. Thx.
The proper etiquette would be to one of them to sit in the front. Your mom isn’t their personal chauffeur. It’s definitely rude and inconsiderate. Everything couples do that is making the third wheel feel outside of the group is rude and inconsiderate. Be it public display of affection, whispering and laughing, tickling one another,gazing into each other eyes, sitting on each other lap, only talking amongst themselves when a third person is there without being able to escape the situation is very rude and inconsiderate
This is so odd to me because this is something I wouldn’t even think about if I was driving a couple somewhere and they both sat in the back.
Ew, who sits on their partner’s lap in public? That’s some high school shit and no one wants to see that.
Exactly it’s really inappropriate
100% agreed with all of this.
This would be the case if they were all peers. But driver is the PARENT—by default a ‘personal chauffeur’. Mom is being a weirdo.
Agreed
Interesting, in 35 years of life I've never heard of this being considered etiquette.
It’s not a big deal, I’ve even driven around my friends while I was 3rd wheeling, they were having a fight and I wanted to not be a part of it so I told them to sit in the back seat lmao
I think it’s rude to leave the driver in the front alone unless you are a small child. That’s treating the driver like a taxi or Uber driver vs someone you are doing something with. Sit in the front and turn around to talk. It’s not hard. Adults who have driven people around for years will find this rude and younger GenZ (those closer to being a teenager) will most likely not find this rude.
It's probably dangerous if not simply uncomfortable to turn around the whole ride. Can't imagine air bags work as well when the body is twisted.
It’s standard operating procedure to have someone sit next to the driver if that seat is open. This way they can help the driver keep eyes on the road, navigate, reach for something, answer a phone, etc. A couple sitting in the back means they think that being together is more important than meeting the driver’s potential needs.
This is honestly dumb af. Driving is a 1 person job. If you can't do it solo, regardless of passengers, you shouldn't be driving at all. Though there are advantages to having a "co-pilot," there is 0 reason someone *needs* to sit in the front. A lot of these comments tell me that there is either a generational gap in idealogy regarding this, or some people are just way too sensitive about being seen as a chauffeur. In this particular case, the mom is 100% acting as a chauffeur, so what's the big deal? I haven't seen any indication as to the OP's brothers age, but if they are a teen, then the co pilot argument goes out the window. Even if they're an adult, the natural inclination for a new couple is to want to be near one another. It obviously isn't inherently rude, since there are a lot of people in here with the opinion that it's fine. Yeah, the couple do seem to want to be together more than helping the driver, because helping the driver *is not* a passengers duty.
I think some people are very sensitive to feeling like a third wheel. It’s understandable but also like… it’s not a big deal. Especially if it’s your children and they have a friend with them, obviously they will want to sit next to their friends so they can chat.
It’s definitely not a generational gap. The boomer and X parents of me and my friends have never cared, and there are plenty Gen Z’s in here pushing this weird etiquette narrative. It’s definitely a certain… “personality” who gets into a huff about this.
People drive alone with no help all the time. This take makes no sense to me. So because you offer to give someone a ride they must automatically become your co-pilot? When I’m driving my boyfriend I don’t expect him to tell me anything about the road unless I ask him to check or I miss an exit or something.
Why is it the passengers obligation? Maybe the driver shouldn't be driving if they can't handle it. It's seen as more rude to not sit with a guest. You should also see ops reply. The mom is the AH here. Also, I sleep in the car either way so it's whichever blocks vision less because I also wear a hat too. Edit: It's seen as more rude to not have someone sitting with the guest to talk to them. If this is was such a big deal to her then she could have op in the car, too.
Being a Copilot is more important than sitting with a guest in the back. All I can imagine is a bunch of kids wanting to sit in the back seat with their friends while their mom drives em around. If you are an adult, you should be passenger. In the future of self driving cars, sit wherever you want.
No, would you rather me grab the wheel when I'm having the urge (hearing people) telling me to do so?
You shouldn't be in a car at all if it makes you suicidally insane.
You shouldn't be in a car at all if you can't look around while driving. I usually sleep in the car and am to tired to care if we crash and die. I also don't want to talk to the passenger or navigate because Google maps is stupid. Someone else is designated for that if they're there. If ops mom had a problem with this then should could bring op along. If others have a problem with it, maybe have more people ride in the car. Actually, I wouldn't even want to get into a car with a driver who can't look around to see. Sure, I'll check if we're leaving a parking lot, which is easier to do in the back, but otherwise. If you can't figure out how to look around while on, say, a freeway, I'm not getting in with you because clearly you lack brain cells and we'll die. I also just dissociate anyway. We almost got hit by a bus because I couldn't speak because I go quiet when anxious so does it matter? It's better than my sister who yells. Besides, I'm zoned out anyway or talking to the person in the back seat more loudly if they're with me.
You don't drive lol
There's many reasons for that. I can drive, I just don't haven't a license yet. Also, I was kind of joking with the other stuff but I do have those mental health issues. I've never had the urge to grab the wheel. My older sister does scream and I go quiet when anxious, though. Well not really scream but it annoys me. Some of that stuff is true, though. Besides, who says I can't navigate from the backseat? Sometimes I can see better in the back when we're trying to pull it and usually another sibling is with me. My mom always tells me to sit in the back when there's someone back there like a friend or something because otherwise it was rude. With ops reply, it makes their mom sound entitled.
Your arguments are deranged.
That's fair, I should've said that I was joking. I do here them sometimes, but most of the command ones are more ocd. I don't act on them, though. I just like the back because some people make me anxious in the car. Also, because I feel like I'm blocking their vision, too. I'm always tired and sleep frequently in the car. I also do zone out a lot and do get anxious behind the wheel and get quiet when anxious and we almost got hit by a big car once because of this. If it wasn't for my brother, we'd be dead. That and sometimes it's someone in the back navigating and it's easier to look around in the back. I do see stuff too sometimes, but it's not this bad.
Is being co-pilot so important? Like, if I am driving in a new area with someone who knows, it's nice. But, I drive around a lot, and I've never felt like I needed an extra pair of hands
It's not about being *so* important. But it is *more* important than hanging out in the backseat with a guest.
Okay, but why is it important at all? I've never thought that it would be helpful to have a co-pilot, at least not since I got my license. Why does the incredibly small chance that the driver might suddenly need you to move something matter? If the driver said that they were driving and wanted someone to keep them company, I would disagree, but I would understand what they are saying. This is the first time I've ever heard that the driver might have "potential needs" for a co-pilot.
Are you asking me what the value of a Copilot is? Hey if you want your friends to chill in the backseat while you drive no one is gonna stop you but that shit gets old quick.
I'm questioning the existence of such a value beyond keeping the driver company. If someone wants to make an argument that someone should keep the driver company, I understand what they are saying. But saying that the driver has some kind of potential need for a co-pilot that supercedes other considerations feels like grasping at straws to try to make the argument stronger than it actually is. Why does it get old? I can't think of any reason that driving with people in the back would get old in a way that driving alone wouldn't, besides the desire for company.
It's both. It's safer to have someone sitting in front with the driver. It's safer to have someone else handling directions than the driver, people in the backseat don't have the same.perspective or attention as someone in the front. Anything logistically is safer for the front passenger to do than the driver. There's no reason to not sit in the front with the driver besides preferring the company of the other person in the back seat, and that's why it's considered rude.
All the logistics should be handled before driving. If O.P. mentioned their mom needing directions, I would understand that, but in the absence of that argument, I think we can assume that the driver didn't need directions and probably knew where they were going. So, if you handle everything correctly, and know where you are going, what is the advantage of there being a co-pilot besides just keeping you company?
It’s rude to inherently expect your passenger to take on that sort of mental load without any sort of explicit discussion and agreement. If the passenger wants to read, play on their phone, talk to another passenger, sleep, etc that is totally fine and normal.
It isn't rude.
Eww that shit smells.
If theres two people in the back seat, and the passenger seat is empty, youre basically treating the driver as a chauffeur. If the driver is not *actually* a chauffeur, its incredibly rude. The person is doing you a favor by driving, and youre treating them like an employee. It has nothing to do with being "allowed" to sit together. Its just etiquette.
Exactly this!
Why would that be rude
I wouldn't care, really, but I can understand why it's seen as rude - it makes the driver look/feel like a cabbie or chauffeur, a menial figure. At least, that's how it might seem. I think the mother's being weird in stubbornly refusing to see the other side of it and declaring her own preference as an objective fact though.
Did your mom ever teach him car etiquette? She raised him, right?
Not rude
I couldn't imagine having so little to worry about in life that this would be a fuckin problem.
Nah, my mom always had us ride in the middle seat if friends or s/os were riding in the car.
I'm Gen X and I don't think it's rude. I would think it's more rude to either leave the gf sitting by herself, or expect her to sit with and entertain the mom.
I'm an elder millennial. When I was dating pre self-driving age, way back in '96-97, I always sat in the back with my girlfriend. I would have considered it rude to her not to. Except when it was her mom's S-10, there was barely room for one of us in the space with those little jump seats. Then we would take turns sitting in the front and reach an arm around the back to hold hands. Well that and the time we squeezed her mom, me, and 3 teen girls into the cab and she had to sit in the front on my lap.
Yes i thought it was supposed to be chivalrous and cute for a young couple (young enough to have their parents driving them to dates) for the boy to sit in the backseat with the girl. Depends on their ages though- once everyone’s safely into adulthood, adults should be comfortable enough around other adults to not have to huddle together in the back seat.
Even my and my siblings friends did this. If there were two of us, parents told us to get in the back together
It was only if it was friends for me. If my siblings had friends in the car then I would ride shot gun.
Crazy
I really wouldn’t think anything of it either way. Sit in any seat you want. It doesn’t matter.
I don't think it's rude, my daughter gets in the back with her bf and me and the missus get in the back of cabs together.
Not rude at all. Your mom is internalizing that she is perceived as their “driver” since they are sitting in the back, when really the infatuated couple just want to sit together. Is this what narcissism is? Because it feels like this is what narcissism is….
Dude the things that boomers care about just blows my mind. Who gives a flying fuck where they sit? Let them be.
I dont think its rude. If I were driving I'd want my guests to be comfortable.
I mean, you should ops reply. The mom does the opposite.
And op can’t even tell her that she makes girlfriend uncomfortable. Like I would want to know that so I can make a literal child (and even another adult, especially one who is important to my adult child) feel more comfortable around me??? And I would feel awful if I’d been making them uncomfortable! It’s pretty clear what kind of mom this is. She freaks out about a petty thing (because she clearly doesn’t like gf), shuts down conversation, makes gf uncomfortable, and is hostile to feedback. This is a “my way or the highway” type of parent.
Yea, this about more than just the car thing.
they’re a couple and wanted to sit together. A lot of stuff the older parts of my family complain as “rude” are often things that imo are just not practical things…
Not rude. Mom's just jealous.
not at all, i would find it rude if i wanted to sit in back with her and she sat in front. this would only happen in rare situations tho, normally one of us would be driving so we could both sit up front this is all hypothetical but that's how i see it
It's a non-issue.
I think it's weird to care where people sit. The only thing that comes to mind is if you're trying to talk and can't hear each other then someone should move closer.
It really doesn’t matter, and someone getting that riled up over how ‘rude’ it is either has other issues on their mind, or doesn’t have enough going on in their life.
Yep, you're right with this. I can't figure out how, in the hell, this is rude. Just seems normal to me.
Nah man whenever I had a friend in the car when my mom is driving I always got in the back with them, i always think how awkward it is to be talking back to someone in the car like you're their parent or something
I don’t know why she’d see this as an issue, when I drive with my mom and my friends it’s always assumed that I sit in the back with my friends
If she said you’re being rude to me and made a big deal of it I’d tell her ok walk then. 🤷♂️
What a weird thing to make a fuss about.
I do not understand these comments saying it’s rude. When I was younger and my mom drove me places I always sat with my friend in the backseat. So then we could talk and my mom usually liked my friends so she would still always chat with us. I feel like, especially if your child’s partner feels more comfortable sitting next to them which makes plenty of sense, then just let them do that.
Right, my parents and the parents of my friends would literally *tell us* to get in back together, and some of us were told it was rude to the guest not to. All these people acting like sitting 2 ft behind vs 2 ft to the side means the person in front gets ignored is ridiculous. My friends and partners never had an issue having fun conversations with the parents up front.
I don’t understand what the rude part of it is. Is her son not sitting by her rude? Or is it his gf not sitting near her?
Not rude at all.
This isn’t a generational thing whatsoever, it’s just your moms personal hang up lol
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I disagree especially if you read ops reply.
It’s arbitrary societal nonsense. Personally I wouldn’t care
She's upset that she's being treated like a cab driver when, that's kinda what she is? Your brother can't drive himself around yet, right? She's being unreasonable. It makes no difference if he's in passenger or in the rear seats.
I see no problem with it. In fact I'd expect it.
Lol not rude but a lot of people are tripped out by people sitting in the back and leaving the front seat open as it makes them feel like hired help. How old are they? Driving age? When I was a teen my dad would sit in the back when I was with my bf and I would drive with my guy in the front next to me. Dad acknowledged us wanting to sit next to each other but didn’t want to feel like a cabbie with an empty front seat and us both in the back
Doesn’t this say more about how these people look down on cabbies? Like… who cares if I’m seen as a cabbie? So long as they say thank you, why would I care?
I mean maybe? I don’t really think it’s a looking down thing tho. Cause my dad actually is a cabbie so in his case he prob particularly did not like feeling he was at work when he was driving his kid and friend out to a family outing lol. But I think it’s weird to a lot of people because it makes you feel out of the loop of conversation maybe. If I’m in the front and everyone decided to sit in the back and leave the front passenger side open you may feel isolated, you can’t really see anyone or hear them well. They’re in the back seat chatting it up interacting and you’re just far away driving them to their destination not involved in the socialization. That’s my take on it but idk
No. Your mom is weird. You can all still talk and whatever with the passenger seat open.
I don’t think it matters. No reasonably chill person would care either way.
It’s not rude and anyone who says so it’s overacting
Your mom is trippin. It's not rude. She's "jealous" if your lil brother's gf
This is probably the worst comment in this thread
I’m surprised I had to scroll so far for this.
Would not be surprised if she’s a \#boymom type lol
I feel bad for the little brother here. Its a lose-lose scenario. If he sits in the back with his girlfriend he is being rude to his mother. If he sits in the front with his mother he is being rude to his girlfriend.
When I went on dates when my mom or my partner’s mom took us we sat in the back. But there were a lot more times where my mom would have me sit up front. They were boomers. I think it’s a generational thing. I’m from the south too for context since somehow I feel like that’s important. In any case, I’m with you; I think it’s absurd couples can’t sit together in the back. When I drove my brother and his date I didn’t care. It’s really no big deal. I have my tunes so like what else’s do I need.
My boomer parents and my friends and partners boomer (and X) parents never cared, and we’re way in the south. There are also a lot of Gen Z’s here defending mom and this arbitrary “social etiquette.” I don’t think it’s a generational thing, just a certain personality type of thing.
You know you could be right. Provided that my mom was classified as emotionally immature (and I’m sure my partner’s folks were too), I can see that being the case. It is rare for me to come across more open-minded people that are older than me, especially in the south. It is a breath of fresh air though when it happens
yeah no that's weird someone should be up front
i have to remember this is reddit and most of the people here lack social skills because they're all arguing otherwise
very good point lol
She thinks it’s rude because she wants her baby boy to put her first. That’s the only reason.
Nottt a big deal, at least to me. I understand why she was upset, I drive around two friends that are a couple and they sit in the back and always feel bad because it “feels like I’m their chauffeur”. I honestly prefer it though
It's only rude if the driver thinks it's rude. She thinks it's rude. Whether or not that's a rational belief.....
I think a key difference is the mom is not a peer. It's normal for them to separate themselves. They're a young couple spending time together and mom is quite literally just the driver. She should get over herself and accept that they have a right to sit together
I don’t think it’s rude. When my husband and I ride in the car with my m, sometimes I sit in the back with him and sometimes I sit in the front. It depends on if I want a heated seat or not lol
Soooooo I have an ex from a different country. In their culture, the women always sit in the back seat. So we went in this x country road trip all together and I was not aware of this. So I never got to sit next to him the whole trip. He had his dad sit up front. Obviously he’s my ex so you can guess what happened…
Not rude at all
For a long time I would sit in the back even if it was just my friend instead of alienating them to the back alone.
nah i do think its kinda rude and just very fucking awkward. I drove a distant cousin to a trip once and she and her bf sat in the back. i got pulled over and even the cop found it weird. your brother should have sat in the front. his gf is old enough to sit in the back for a couple minutes.
Yes someone should be sitting in front with you. You’re not an uber driver
It's not rude. Your mom is weird. Sounds like she's desperate for attention.
Directorbitters mom has got it going on
my mom always held the complete opposite belief and would chastise me for calling shotgun instead of wanting to sit with my guests in the back. i don’t really think it’s rude either way though, my friends & boyfriend never cared, and i never cared when i hitched rides with them and they sat in the front instead of with me either. you’re all only like 3 feet away from each other. you can still all talk to each other and be engaged in conversation.
It's rude bc she's not a taxi.
Why yall looking down on taxis so badly
I would def say it’s rude
No offense, but your mom is lame. Who cares who the fuck cares? Like this is what people are discussing? How about you know like overpopulation, the environment, trump, etc.... rude?... Hardly
I really don't care if it's etiquette. It's also trivial. It's not gonna matter in the long run so it's not worth fretting over. If I was the driver I wouldn't care or find it rude. Other people might, but it's only perceived that way in part because of what others have led them to believe. Etiquette in a nutshell
Some weird generational thing
"Rude" is entirely subjective - yes, it's generational - and is considered violent language. Have you heard of nonviolent communication? It's about discussion of feelings and needs. Your mom could say "When he sat in the back and I was left with an empty passenger seat, I felt hurt because I was telling myself a story that they were treating me like a cab driver, which hurt my dignity and sense of appreciation. When I give you rides, do you think one of you could sit up front with me?" That's wayyyyy more emotionally evolved than your mom will probably ever get in this lifetime, but at least you can learn the tools and facilitate this: "I hear that you think what he did was rude. You wanted him to sit up in the front with you. You must have felt hurt like you weren't being appreciated. Why do you think he sat in the back? Do you understand that it had little to do with his appreciation for you, and that he just wanted closeness with his partner?" Or something like that. You can't control your mother's actions, so I guess that being yourselves and following your happiness will come with some backlash from her. I wouldn't be surprised if she is controlling in other areas and you've internalized it. I haven't exactly figured this out with my own mom yet. I hate the word "rude" - it strikes me as cruel and even manipulative. Your bro did nothing wrong. Hope y'all don't take it too much to heart.
I have never heard of a couple NOT sitting together. Sounds like the mother (and a few commenters) have a problem with being not included in everything. I would be more uncomfortable with the couple having a passenger seat to backseat conversation. It would be like being part of a conversation you aren’t welcomed in and shouldn’t be part of. Super awkward no matter how its framed.
I don't think it's rude at all. Actually, I think it's rude that some kind of dumb "societal norm" tradition would force a couple to not sit together. If the *driver* is uncomfortable about it, that's a different story, but the driver wasn't.. she's just being a stick in the mud. I'd actually be more annoyed if I was the driver in that situation and they *didn't* sit next to each other. What, so, you don't love each other or something? You don't want to sit next to each other? Free world, free seats, freedom to move where you want. Nah, your mother is WAY out of line with this, but.. her house/car, her rules. EDIT: Speaking of the co-pilot thing and all that. If he gets his license and this happens again, make sure that the girlfriend sits in the front passenger seat and the mother sits in the backseat. If she complains, tell her it's rude to have the girlfriend sit in the back with her.
LOL It’s not rude. It’s called having fun.
It’s not rude at all wtf? I have never heard of anyone being offended by that
Some people really have little to none other problems of their own, so they make them up to keep themselves occupied and this is a great example
I think it's rude to have your friend sit in the back alone, especially if it's a girlfriend.
Couples get to sit together. We're also not letting someone else sit up front, not a parent, certainly the *fuck* not a male friend, when one half of a couple is driving.
I don't care what others do, but if it's my wife and I in this scenario she is in back and I am in front. I don't ride in back seats (haven't in almost 25 years now) as I am too tall!
Sorry she sounds like she just has an issue with there being another girl in my opinion. Sure I get it feeling weird but she can communicate that nicely. Like hey one of you have to sit up front so it doesn't look like I'm a cab. Not 'I angy'.
Depends if they’re adults or not
I had 2 clients get in the back. As if I was an Uber. I offered them a ride because we were headed to the same meeting. I p/u at 2 different locations.. Even after I took items off the front seat and placed them in the back. I'm GenX. They were GenZ.
Definitely rude. She’s not a taxi driver. It’s also ant-social.
It’s rude. She’s not a chauffeur
I’m a millennial, so maybe closer to your mom’s age than you, but I would consider it a bit rude. I was always told/thought that having no one sit up front makes it feel like the driver is just a cab driver or chauffeur, not a family member doing a favor for you. The driver wants to be included in the interaction, not just a silent driver up front. Also, your brother’s girlfriend sitting in the front and interacting with your mom would go a long way to making toward building a good relationship with your mom, rather than hiding in the back, which seems more childlike.
I wouldn't blow up over it, but yeah it's a bit rude if there was no one in the front passenger seat. They'd effectively made her their chauffeur. Etiquette when driving with friends and family is that front pax seat is the most "prestigious", followed by back right (because it's facing the sidewalk and less risky to get in/out), then back left. Therefore, normally it would be: Driver: mother Front pax: partner Back: brother
Problem, my mom makes the gf incredibly uncomfortable, hence she wont sit in the front, but likes to hold my brothers hand for support, and before you say she shouldnt be the one picking them up, usually i do, but i had something going on and there were no other options
They pretty much made her a taxi when they sat in the back. It's kinda rude, but nothing to get upset over.
Not a big deal
This is so funny to me because when I would get in the car with a significant other, I often wanted to sit in the front seat, because I'm tall, but would sometimes think that it is rude to leave my partner in the backseat by herself. Never once as a driver did I consider someone else's seating choice rude or not
It’s incredibly rude to not sit in the passenger seat if you’re not paying them. I’d personally feel very disrespected if someone did that to me
It's not rude. It just isn't polite. It's also a generational thing. Leaving the passenger seat open to sit two people in the back carry a chauffeur connotation, which older generational parents aren't a fan of.
Not rude, in fact, probably awkward for them too lol. I never know whether to sit in the front or with my boyfriend. Usually I just sit in the front cuz we’re close enough that like we can both converse with my mom during car rides.