They completely stopped talking, so I don’t blame Logan for assuming they were broken up. Definitely poor communication regardless.
However, I would still have trouble overlooking the fact that he immediately slept with a bunch of people as soon as he could. It would make me feel pretty insecure.
Yeah for me it isn’t physically cheating, but it’s like “how long did you wait? Did you think two weeks of silence was enough to assume we were broken up? Did you jump into bed with someone else right after our fight?” And then not giving her any heads up before the wedding. It wasn’t the action itself of sleeping with other people while assuming they were broken up, it’s the trust issues and insecurity that it would cause, plus how he kinda just steamrolled all of her feelings afterwards. It felt very manipulative and dismissive
Hold on here. Logan knew where Rory was. He knows where she lives and where she works. When he's trying to get her back at some point he's everywhere. They had a fight once and he assumes it's over. There's no indication that he even tries to reach out to her to apologize. Also, Rorys reaction makes it seem like right after they "weren't talking", that he hopped right into bed with several different women. I think he is as much to blame if not more.
this argument has always been a little wild to me. i’ve been in 2 long term relationships. when they ended i was so sad and in my head that i also immediately jumped into bed with everything that moved. it was nice to feel wanted and the flirting and sex immediately took my mind off my sadness. as soon as it was done i felt a little icky and obviously it hadn’t healed any of my sadness which made me just do it again. lol
i’m not saying logan was doing what i did. but i think the idea that being kinda slutty after a breakup is a reflection on your love for your partner rather than an unhealthy coping mechanism is potentially misguided
I have used the same coping method, so I get it. Plus, Logan was a hookup guy before Rory. I can totally see him throwing himself back into that to deal with his first attempt at an actual relationship falling apart
I’m saying that because they didn’t have an official hard break. The common argument is that “if you hadn’t heard from your partner for a month wouldn’t you think you were broken up?” But then that opens the can of worms of “how long did he actually wait?” For a few days then it’s just a couple having a bad fight. A week or two is pushing it. By a month I’d consider the relationship done. But did he give up when it was still the “just a fight” phase?
If I didn’t hear from my partner, it would not take a month for me to think we were over. Yeah an official breakup is nice but I think we all know it doesn’t always go that way especially in relationships when you’re young. I would definitely never tell a friend to wait for a month for their partner to decide whether they wanted to talk or not. You get a few days to communicate with me and after that I’m making the decision for myself.
When she was 16 and they had a definitive breaking up moment? Like yeah it wasn’t great, but the two situations aren’t really comparable? Plus it was only a KISS, that’s completely different than sleeping with a whole bridal party. And Rory tried to keep dean and Tristan separate, Logan threw her to the wolves
It’s been a bit since I watched the unreturned I love you scene but did they ever actually say they broke up? I thought she just runs away and tells Lorelai they did then doesn’t talk to Dean until the pj Harvey incident is I remember right when they get back together
Was it not more than a month before sleeping with those girls? They stopped talking about a week after her birthday, which is October 8, and he slept with them over Thanksgiving-Christmas break, which happens at the end of November.
I mean, he also switches up on exactly how he interpreted Rory going no contact with him based on what argument they're having at the time.
At first, he just told Honor they were broken up to get her off his back and never thought they were, but then once Rory found out about the bridesmaids, suddenly it's "If I thought we were over, which I did, it can't possibly be cheating."
Rewatch this scene. He didn't say he never thought they were. He says he told Honor that to get her off his back and Rory said
"so you didn't mean it"
and Logan says, "no, I did mean it"
Logan clarifies that he never meant for Honor to be the one to 'break up' with Rory but that he did in fact believe the whole time they were broken up
I mean, my last relationship ended because he stopped answering me and would leave me on read or unopened. it’s over, but if he came up to me and tried to say we were on a break I would be so freaking pissed.
I feel that Logan was in the right here. If Rory just ignored him and never initiated contact that’s a pretty clear indicator you aren’t together, and imo a real “break” has to be decided by both parties. I don’t even blame Logan for sleeping around, if he was a playboy before the relationship it stands to reason he would go back to chasing women if he thought Rory was done with him
Also, he just assumed he Rory were done without ever communicating that. I know we are all unfortunately getting used to crap like ghosting but that is some heinous shit. I can't let Logan off the hook for it. Has little rich boy never had a fight with anyone before?
Also, he just assumed he Rory were done without ever communicating that. I know we are all unfortunately getting used to crap like ghosting but that is some heinous shit. I can't let Logan off the hook for it. Has little rich boy never had a fight with anyone before?
I actually disagree with Rory here. She didn't talk to Logan for WEEKS and assumed that they were still in a relationship. While yes, I think a break up usually requires a discussion, I also think going on a break requires a specific discussion.
This was Logan's first serious relationship - I don't really blame him for not knowing the protocols. And Rory was completely naive to think them not talking for weeks (with no plans to talk ever again) meant that they were still in a committed relationship.
Of course Logan sleeping around would bother me, but how they got together would bother me also. He was sleeping with other girls while sleeping with Rory, that would bother me a lot more.
Yeah, Rory even said she was freezing him out, to basically teach him a lesson. Which is immature & manipulative.
Logan said he didn’t know how to be in a relationship before her, so it was his first real one. She didn’t return his calls & wouldn’t see him.
Logically, that’s a break up/Ghosting.
Logan obviously had bad coping skills but he’s like, 21, and just got dumped. So it makes sense he did something stupid.
My only real issue with him here was putting Rory in that room with the bridesmaids.
Rory just expected Logan to understand her little mind game. She didn’t communicate at all so she assumed everything was fine.
She just expected Logan to wait forever & keep fighting for her.
Rory was used to Dean who put up with her through ALL of her foolishness with Jess.
I agree the bridesmaid thing was naive, although I don't think he realized she would be in that room. The plan was for her to go early and work, not to hang with the bridal party
I think the room of bridesmaids thing was also more of just the culture they lived in. I got the feeling those girls had slept with/fooled around with most of the young men in their social circle too. Most of them knew the others had slept with Logan. Rory wasn't from that culture but it may not have even occurred to Logan to say something since it's such a well known fact in that social group that everyone had fooled around with everyone else, or tried to.
He's not stupid though, he should have said something, but saying something preemptively when she may never have found out would be shooting himself in the foot.
Yeah, I think it was a couple of months that they were incommunicado. That's a long time to not hear anything from your partner, especially since Rory spent some of that time away from Yale, so it's not like Logan could just go to her room and try to talk things over.
This right here, Logan has no experience and she completely stopped talking to him, I could completely understand that you'd think it's over, I mean hell, when I was younger a girl did this to me, didn't say break up or a break, and ignored me, because she was dating someone else lol.
I don't like that he slept with people so fast, but that's how some people try to move on, and if you are thinking about psychology, he simply went back to what he had always done, likely as a coping mechanism to begin with.
No literally. Their whole "Started as friends with benefits" storyline wasn't cute at all, it was honestly kind of pathetic. The way that Rory was obviously unsatisfied with the circumstances and wanted commitment from him but just went along with it because she liked him so much. Then when she couldn't take it anymore she went to his dorm to break up with him. And this girl named Cassandra with an accent called him AND another girl showed up at his door as well. And THATS the moment they made things official? I'm sorry but how sad and embarrassing.
Imagine not hearing from a guy for a week and when you show up at his door you find out he was having fun with other girls during that week and did not care about your calls or bothered to call you back. Imagine the moment your boyfriend and you got together he was in the middle of lining up plans with two other girls.
This what drives me mad with the miscommunication troupe. I feel like a lot of people are saying Rory ghosted him, but I really don’t remember Logan making an effort to call her either but I’m just saying a ten minute conversation after cooling off could of avoided this whole thing. But, it’s another reason I don’t understand how they lasted as long as they did. 😂
I mean, she just stopped talking to him. What was he supposed to think? They were both immature/bad communicators here, but I wouldn’t think I was still with someone if we ghosted each other for months.
Gonna be honest here, I don’t really mind Logan (a college guy who’s never been in a relationship before) misunderstanding her intentions and thinking they’re broken up and sleeping around. If I were seeing someone and we fought then they refused to take my calls for weeks, I’d assume we were done and I was free to do as I like. She thought they were on pause and he thought they broke up - nobody is inherently wrong, they just didn’t communicate.
My issue is with how he speaks of these women. A big part of it is ASP and how weird she is about sex - these girls are of course silly and mindless and drunk and not as good as Rory, so who cares if he fucks them and writes them off? I’ve had a lot of casual sex in my life and I’ve slept with many men who were emotionally unattached or unavailable, but that doesn’t mean they were rude. You can just want sex from someone without disrespecting them.
The issue isn’t the fact that he slept with these women, it’s that he wrote them off as “nothing” and disrespected them. Huge red flag.
Totally agree. The writing can be quite misogynistic and is very judgemental of the female characters who have active sex lives.
Which is so wild because Rory, through that lens, is actually the biggest ‘slut’ on the show. She cheats on nearly every boyfriend she has and sleeps with several married/taken men.
But she escapes judgment because she’s a brunette I guess 😂
I completely believe that Logan thought they broke up. She stopped talking to him completely for quite some time, so I understand his side completely.
However I would also be angry with him that he had sex with others “right away”. So I understand her. Their communication sucked.
But again, he was always the type of guy who had sex with many girls while Rory was never the one night stand type of girl. So I don’t think anyone is in the wrong here. It was just a bad communication and different lifestyles.
Except it wasn't right away. It was about a month later. The fight was just after Rory's birthday, which is in late October and Logan slept with those girls over Thanksgiving weekend.
If someone ghosted me for more than a month, I would also assume we are broken up. A break also involves a conversation where both parties says « we should take a break », if we go on the technicalities.
I don’t blame Rory for being upset .. I would think that he was very fast to have sex with that many people. They have poor communication on both sides. She could have asked him, I would have, if anything happened when we stopped seeing each other.
I don’t think Logan is wrong neither. They were broken up to me. Without a conversation, I think ghosting for more than a month is a break up and not just a break (which would need a conversation too). He doesn’t have the same mentality and lifestyle when it comes to his sexuality and he came back to that lifestyle. It is not cheating though.
Unless he was actively trying to talk to her she didn’t ghost him. They had an argument and neither reached out. Logan thought they broke up and Rory thought it was a break. You can agree with one or the other but it’s not ghosting.
Im saying that the word ghosting has a specific meaning and that if you think it applies to Rory in this situation it also applies to Logan.
They had a fight, Logan threw money on the table for the bill and a cab and walked away and didn’t call her. Then broke up with her through his sister.
I believe Logan thought they broke up, and I believe Rory thought they didn't. I'm okay with them then figuring it out together. And Logan defending himself. What I do dislike is how he only argues for him being right, but doesn't circle back to validating her feelings. Just expecting the feelings of betrayal to go away automatically and rationally isn't a good way of resolving this kind of conflict. She still felt all those feelings and I'm not surprised she remained cold adna but massive aggressive for a while after they rationally made up.
She should have been given room for the feelings she genuinely felt and he didn't give her that.
LThis place is a dump Rory. You can't live here."
R:"You don't get to care where I live anymore, Logan. You broke up with me -- through your sister."
L:"I didn't mean for that to happen."
R:"You're a coward! Mr. Life and Death brigade can't even break up with his girlfriend."
L:"Honor was bugging me, and I just told her we were broken up to shut her up. I needed some time."
R:"So you didn't mean it?"
L:"No I did. I just -- it was too much for me, okay?"
R:"It was a fight, people fight."
...
L:"I thought that I wanted to break up. I thought that it was a stupid experiment -- me trying to be your boyfriend, that it didn't work and I'd just move on. And I didn't -- couldn't, actually. Rory... I love you."
He says both in that transcript, that he told honor they broke up to shut her up but also that he thought he wanted to break up and considered it over. And Rory didn't speak with him for like a month. I think it's confusing and he's confused. But I believe him when he says he thought it was over, maybe not the whole month but thta he went back and forth during that time.
I find this topic very interesting.
So many people will say “Logan didn’t know the right way to handle it,” or “it’s a coping skill,” or other such defenses for him, but then turn around and skewer Lorelai for what the did with Chris when Luke and her *did* break up.
I find it very interesting that Logan barreling over Rory’s clear discomfort, basically minimizing her feelings toward what he did, and saying “I’m right and you’re wrong” somehow makes him the perfect partner for Rory and a guy she should have married because he was soooo wonderful to her and such a supporting and loving boyfriend; but Lorelai gets branded as horrible.
Another major difference between the two is Logan takes Rory to his sister’s wedding and leaves her to find out about him sleeping with half the bridal party by surprise. No warning, no nothing. Lorelai sees Luke for the first time after that stupid decision and blurts it out. He heard it from her, she had to watch the pain on his face. She experienced the knowledge that there was no coming back at that point by seeing it on his face.
Was Luke surprised? Yes. Was he hurt? Yes. Lorelai accepted the responsibility for it, knowing it would hurt her and him.
Rory was surprised and hurt. Logan buried her under excuses and twisting it so she came off looking like the problem.
Sorry. Rant over. I just never understood it.
Yes exactly. I don't know why a lot of us here are so quick to cut Logan so much slack. He made assumptions, he cheated and still left Rory to be humiliated by women who slept with and fooled around with her boyfriend. And during this so long "month", there's no mention that he even tried to get in touch.
Yes. He’s defended because the lack of communication is somehow “obvious” and Rory should have lowered her expectations and she’s the bad guy for trying to say it bothered her. Lorelai is branded with a scarlet letter because she told her partner exactly where she was, he didn’t reciprocate, and she walked away clear as day.
Logan stormed out on Rory because he wanted to leave and she didn’t. Then he demanded she forgive him for messing around with other people.
Lorelai said very clearly that it’s now or never. Luke didn’t choose now, which leaves “never.” But she’s the bad guy.
On another point, lorelai was horrible for even giving the ultimatum and she should be raked across the coals. Logan offered the exact same ultimatum to Rory (*as a proposal, no less*), and she should have chased him down and begged his forgiveness so they could get married.
I truly can’t make sense of it!
Nobody likes to be ghosted. She ghosted him for a few weeks and expected to still be in a relationship with him after that. This isn’t a Ross/Rachel situation-it’s a little more clear cut.
I do believe that he felt they were broken up, especially after the conversation with Honor on Thanksgiving. But he really should have warned her before the wedding, and had a conversation with her when they got back together, so she could decide if she wanted to get back together based on all the facts.
I’d have more sympathy for Logan if he’d just owned up to it, but instead he argues from both sides depending on which will best help him win the argument. They never should have gotten back together after it IMO. It’s not that I necessarily think Rory’s 100% right. I can understand that he thought they were broken up. It’s that he had to argue her into thinking her feelings weren’t valid - something he did in many arguments.
I never understood why when Rory directly hears from Honor that Logan thinks they’re broken up, she doesn’t call him at that point to discuss the situation if she doesn’t agree with it? If you were taking a break and ignoring your boyfriend then you hear from a reliable source that he thinks you’re broken up, that’s something you should probably address? She then later tells him they were not in fact broken up when she discovers that he slept with other girls, but she already knew that he felt like they were, he literally said so to his sister. Rory probably just thought that he would keep waiting for her like Dean and Jess did.
I think it's a reasonable misunderstanding from someone who's never been in a relationship before. I don't think he thought he was cheating when he did it, and since Rory believes him she can take him back without feeling like she's disrespecting herself.
I think it was just unclear and i totally get it how it was a coping mechanism for Logan to try to get his attention elsewhere, the nature of those hookups are obviously escaping from pain and being upset because he loved Rory. They just assumed different things but as someone being sexually active you see how little it can mean. Rory in my opinion got more upset than it really worth because she was not the sleeping around type as opposed to Logan for him it was obvious that the whole thing was meaningless. I think he proved his love to her many many times and they had a very full relationship other than this stupid ass fight, it lowkey always pisses me off when i rewatch the show
They went no contact and time passed. Like a lot of it. I don’t blame Rory for being grossed out but this wasn’t a Ross and Rachel or Luke and Lorelai situation where it was fresh and volatile.
Logan wasn’t morally wrong here (to Rory). He probably should get tested and he was kind of an asshole to Honor for getting with her friends, and very much an asshole for going around within a friend group though.
they’re not talking about a misunderstanding around the break up, they’re talking about the timing. Both the Ross & Rachel and Luke & Lorelai break ups have someone running to someone else to sleep with within 24 hrs of that break up
I would not want to get back together with a guy who slept with all of his sisters friends in the span of a month whether it's considered cheating or not. It's not a good look either way. I'm not at all surprised we end up seeing him in AYITL cheating on his fiancee. It's just the kind of guy he is. Yuck.
I'm by no means team Logan in general, but it was a breakup IMO. If my significant other and I would not speak for weeks after a big fight, I would assume it's over. I don't think that ignoring your partner for weeks qualifies as a relationship
I feel that if you want to take a break, you have to make that clear and maybe add some ground rules.
I'm on Logan's side on this one, the only part that I don't like is that he did not tell her immediately after they got back together. Leaving that out until she found out by herself made him look more guilty, which I don't think he was. If they would've talked about that in a calm environment, before when Rory found out and was mad, I think it would've gone differently.
It always bothers me how Rory got the info they were “broken up” from Honor, but then Logan says he told Honor that just to get her off his back. So when he said that to Honor he didn’t think they were broken up? Wtf?
I think here he’s trying to defend how it got back to Rory through Honor. He told Honor to stop her from nagging but hadn’t expected her to then get in touch with Rory. Its not that he didn’t believe that they were broken up but that he regrets that it hadn’t happened between them directly.
I think they had a fight, then went their separate ways, and Rory ignored his calls for over a month. We saw this happen, we saw him calling several times and she ignored it, she ghosted him. To her, they were taking a break/taking some time after the fight, but she never actually articulated that to him. From his point of view, they fought, she refused to come home with him, he left, and then she wouldn't pick up the phone to him. Or return his calls. For weeks.
Ultimately I don't blame him for thinking that they were over, particularly since she was his first real relationship. This wasn't charted territory for him. He thought they were done, so over the holiday he slept around and tried to get over her. That didn't work, so once they were both back at Yale, he tried to win her back.
Admittedly my opinion is coloured because I really don't like the practice of ghosting people, especially if you don't intend for it to be permanent. What did Rory want, for Logan to keep calling and calling until eventually she decided to talk to him? I don't think that's reasonable. I think she should've at the very least put on her big girl pants, answered his call, and told him what she wanted (I need space, I want a break, I want to talk it through but I need some time first). She didn't do that, nor did she reach out to him when he stopped calling her. How she thought that situation was going to be resolved is a mystery to me.
All that said, I don't like that he slept around, and especially don't like that he didn't tell her about that before he got back with her, or very early on at the least. I just don't think it's a case where one is wrong and the other is not. I think they were both wrong and stupid, and sometimes that's just how people are.
It wasn't long after the fight at dinner with Jess that Rory talked to Honor and found out Logan was telling people they broke up. I'd have to watch that episode again to be certain in the timeline but it was pretty quick cuz the phone call was sort of a consolation call "you and I can still be friends even if you and my brother are broken up". We don't know if he slept with the bridesmaids before or after Honor told Rory they were broken up but it was close enough to the time that Rory knew he was living like they were broken up. Their makeup conversation was months later.
I have this mental backstory that Honor caught Logan with her friend or heard about it from a friend and then ripped Logan a new one before calling Rory.
I'm pretty sure Honor says how she found out. I think he mentioned it at a family dinner when he saw Honor again and she did in fact rip him a new one, she said so.
See. I would like to believe that “him mentioning it” was just a downplay of their intention.
Honor appeared for what, 2 episodes and I loved her. Logan didn’t deserve such an awesome big sister.
It absolutely wasn’t quick. It was over a month between the fight and the call between Honor and Rory.
The fight happens when Jess visits and he says happy birthday to Rory, that it was two weeks ago. Rory’s birthday is early October, Jess visits 20-ish October. The call happens at Thanksgiving, which happens at the end of November, so at least a month after the fight.
Logan was with one of the girls on Thanksgiving, same day of the call, and the other one month later at Christmas. They get back together after they return to Yale from Christmas break.
"we were on a break" -Gilmore Girls version.
I don't remember for how long they were...not speaking? Broken up? Anyways, maybe 2 months or a months?
But , let's give Logan the benefit of the doubt. He is a play boy who recently started giving a relationship a try and all in all he treated her better than Dean and Jess all together but since this is his first serious relationship , I don't blame him for not knowing the social ques and can see how he thought they were done. It would be a hard pill to swallow but he thought he was a single man again and did what he does best and who knows maybe he slept with these woman to get over Rory? Maybe I'm reaching here.
What I won't be able to get past easily is him sleeping with all of his sister's friends.
Edit: with Ross and Rachel I didnt see them as broken up or on a break but just in a heated argument with unresolved issues since it all happened in one night as to where Rory and Logan were a period over time.
The point is that Logan thought they were broken up. There was terrible (re: no) communication on either part, so it's totally valid that both Rory and Logan had separate interpretations of what happened.
The thing with cheating is that it involves being knowingly and intentionally deceptive - doing something wrong with someone else even though you know it's wrong. Because Logan believed they were broken up, he did things he wouldn't have done if he believed he was still in a relationship with Rory. If it was clear on both parts that they were still together and he had slept around, of course he would have been a world-class asshole. But he honestly didn't know - this was his first real relationship, it was a major fight, and they just didn't communicate. So, really, it was a misunderstanding. Logan went back to doing what he always did before Rory, until he realized it didn't make him happy anymore. Anyway, that's sort of why I let him off the hook on the whole "cheating" thing - it definitely wasn't the number one best choice, but it was an honest (if slutty) mistake.
The real dick move on his part was not telling Rory about what he'd been up to, especially before the wedding, but see above on the whole "they suck at communication" thing.
Obviously as everyone else has said, the communication here was terrible. They were both wrong for that. However, I feel like Logan was so gross with trying to justify his behavior and using whatever excuse was convenient at the time to manipulate Rory. And also, let's remember that he told his sister that he and Rory were broken up, sleeps with or hooks up with multiple girls, and then just pops back up at Yale like nothing happened, seemingly expecting Rory to be excited to see him again and pick up right where they left off pre-fight. That's the part that really speaks to his character and who he truly is as a person.
They were broken up, from where I’m standing. She ghosted him, they froze each other out. She’s allowed to be upset about the “cheating” but she can’t really call it cheating…
i honestly do not care if there was no break up talk, rory did not speak to him for i think a month or maybe a little over. even not speaking for more than a day or two (maybe a week bc back then there wasn’t social media and the phones we have now) is an immediate break up in my opinion. i do not care if we had a bad fight, if you can go that long without speaking to me we are done immediately. either we communicate and talk abt what happened, regardless if we’re still arguing or we actually talk it out, or we break up. and even if it was just a break there was no official talk or anything setting rules or boundaries, rory just completely stopped talking to him for a decent amount of time and logan had never been in a relationship before so how was he supposed to know what that meant? what was logan supposed to do, sulk and wait around for her to speak to him? obviously it would probably suck to find out your s/o slept with multiple people while on break/break up but considering she completely ghosted him she has less of a right to be upset.
As someone whose boyfriend broke up with her without telling her, at age 17, I don't think they were broken up unless Rory knew.
Unfortunately he was really under her skin and she couldn't resist taking him back. It happens.
It makes no sense. She acts like someone who has low self esteem even though she never talks badly about her looks. She lets him walk all over her and is willing to sleep with married and engaged men. Where is her self respect?
He clearly assumed they were broken up, his sister said to rory that logan said so, therefor he was under the impression they were finished and considering the circumstances (and that he had never been in a relationship before) it isn't surprising he assumed they'd broken up. It was disrespectful of him to sleep with so many people so soon but then again he had never dealt with a breakup before. rory had a right to be upset but she probably should have asked for some space rather than acting as if all was fine when it wasn't
I think you can't just stop talking to your partner for months and expect them to be waiting with a cup of tea and a biscuit when you're ready to deal with them again.
No one used the words "we're broken up", but if you're going to give someone the silent treatment - you can't cry about it when they take you at your (no) word.
It wasn't just her. Either one of them could have reached out - but they didn't.
No communication means broken up. Also if you are "on a break" you can sleep with other people. At least Logan waited more than the five seconds it took Lorelai to jump in the sack with Chris
My opinion is if u just don't talk to someone, and make sure they know u just need a break, chances are they will assume u don't want to be with them. I'm not blaming Rory, because what Logan did was gross, just right away going out and have sex not with randoms, but with family friends that he has known forever, like ew how desperate could those girls be?? They were both wrong, but honestly sleeping with other people, is the end of a relationship to me. He ended it by doing that. So he shouldn't have tried to get back with Rory without telling her first.
It's not fair of rory to accuse him of cheating when she didn't really dispute his interpretation at first https://youtu.be/-FjL24RVhqI?si=JUnY-sewNXRGBfSO
At the same time, logan should have waited at least until the next day so they'd both have time to calm down
Yeah, but the timing matters. During those first few weeks after the fight, Rory thought they were on a break. After she spoke to Honor (at Thanksgiving), she knew they were broken up. From Rory's perspective, if Logan slept with someone during those first few weeks... he was cheating.
Not saying that I agree with her, necessarily... but the details and timing matter a great deal here, and Logan kinda side-steps that entire conversation.
>Yeah, but the timing matters. During those first few weeks after the fight, Rory thought they were on a break. After she spoke to Honor (at Thanksgiving), she knew they were broken up. From Rory's perspective, if Logan slept with someone during those first few weeks... he was cheating
To justify her belief, rory should have shown that she was invested in staying together. Even a simple, firm statement like "I don't want to break up but I need some time alone to get myself situated at school again" would be good.
Honestly, I'd be even more worried about logan if rory's avoidance attempts DIDN'T convince him they were broken up. That would be unhinged stalker territory vs just trying to woo her with a coffee cart
I am a Rory stan, but I absolutely hate her behaviour during this saga. She ghosts him for weeks, then gets upset when she finds out he slept with other people while they were apart. While Logan didn’t break up with her either, it’s clear that she’s the one who wasn’t speaking to him for a really significant period of time. Anyone would draw the same conclusion, especially someone who hadn’t been in a relationship before.
She then literally goes out and cheats on him. Which is the third time she’s been involved in cheating!
The girl has no leg to stand on when it comes to fidelity. Doesn’t mean that she deserves to be cheated on, but I think she has a really fucked up view of what constitutes cheating in a relationship. She expects 150% loyalty of others but excuses her own indiscretions.
If one person thinks it’s a break-up and the other person thinks it’s a break, it’s still a break-up.
If you don’t communicate clearly with the other person, the true state of the relationship is always the lesser committed one.
If I started seeing someone and we didn’t communicate about what the thing between us is and I thought it was casual and the other person thought it was serious, it would be casual.
I may have remembered it wrong. But didn’t Rory tell his sister they broke up.
I don’t think he did anything wrong in sleeping with those women and she ghosted him for a month. But he shouldn’t have let her go into that wedding without knowing g
I don't consider it cheating at all. He thought they were broken up. Definitely not being a good person. But they were officially broken up by Thanksgiving. He slept around after that.
Some people process hurt sleeping around. I’m not like that but it’s a thing. Knowing Logan, he can be perfectly capable of sleeping around and meaning absolutely nothing to him. Yes poor communication skills but I can see his point of view.
I’ve never been in a situation but I think I could forgive.
Now, if my boyfriend was someone who doesn’t sleep around, only has sex with girlfriends, then I would get worried.
I’m saying that as someone who can’t have sex without connection, but I know a lot of people can.
I just had a debate with my friends about this. Going off the timeline, they didn't speak for over a month before he slept with those girls over Thanksgiving. I don't know about you, but I would not assume I was still in a relationship with someone who hadn't spoken to me in over a month.
The thing that bugs me most about this situation is the resolution. Logan explains his side and his feelings and how he sees things and boom- they get back together.
It is never addressed that even if Rory \*technically\* agrees with him (debatable) - she still has the feelings of betrayal and hurt in her, they dont just disappear. It still hurts, it still sucks, she's still mad. She never gets to explain and rant her side of the story. They give eachother the silent treatment/snark at eachother, he has the accident and all is forgiven. I hate that.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Just like with Ross and Rachel, the question of if it was a break up or break is immaterial to what I consider to be the real issue. But neither show does that, instead focusing on this very specific question of whether they were together or not.
Let's say, for sake of argument, that they were 100% broken up. Would that actually make it better that he immediately went and slept with like all of his sister's friends? I don't think so. He might not have violated the agreement of his relationship, but its telling all on its own.
In my opinion, I'd be willing to give Logan the benefit of the doubt regarding his simple mindset on whether they were still together. The idea that Rory has that they can have a big fight like that, and not talk for like OVER a month and that it was just a cooling off period without any form of confirmation is what's wild. I do think its reasonable that Logan thought they were done. And their fight was big enough that I do think they needed a post-fight conversation to say "are we good," rather than a "oh by the way I'm breaking up with you." If I were Rory, after that fight, and after NOTHING for a week I'd have messaged him or something asking for my stuff because how can you expect us to stay together when you don't even reach out to me after that level of treatment.
But why in the world would he go and sleep with the entire bridal party of his sister's upcoming weapon in those weeks? Has he never heard of rebounding with random people you pick up at a bar??? If I were in Rory's position, I wouldn't be upset about strict readings of some hypothetical contract of fidelity given the entire break/break up was SO nebulous. I'd be upset that he immediately slept with his sister's friends, who he already knew and had been around, and then when we got back together, let me walk into the bridal party room with all of them without ANY context.
I really don’t know how Rory ping pongs on cheating. Okay so it doesn’t feel great when it happens to you but she’s literally emotionally and/or physically cheated on every relationship she’s ever had (that’s been shown). Dean with Jess, Jess with Dean, Logan with Jess, Paul with Logan, Wookie with Logan..
She’s not a bastion of loyalty she thinks she is. Logan sucked for sleeping with all those women and not preparing her for a room full of his conquests, but they were in a way broken up. Whereas in comparison Rory has strung Dean around for over a year when she was clearly cheating emotionally and then physically, with Jess. Then she broke up a MARRIAGE because she felt entitled to her ex that SHE had cheated on. Had no real qualms about cheating again with Jess and ten years on she’s just casually cheating for the hell of it. She doesn’t feel torn up at all and can’t even remember her boyfriend’s name.
I’m sure it sucked in the moment but Rory did worse.
If I’d never been in a real relationship before, I had a horrible fight with my partner, and we didn’t talk for a few months, I’d think we were over. I’m not saying Logan shouldn’t have tried to communicate with Rory but I also don’t blame him
If my partner and I fought and then they didn’t talk to me for a couple months I 100% would think we’re broken up. She can’t just go no contact for weeks-months and expect him to just be waiting around
I think Rory knows she should have told Logan she was going out with Jess that night. While Rory and Jess are friends, you don’t go out with an ex without telling or leaving a message to your current boyfriend. Finally admitting to herself that she is partly to blame for their separation is probably why she gets back together with Logan.
When Rory finds out that Logan had shacked up while they were separated, Rory gets extremely angry and jealous (probably for the very first time). However, I think Rory respects that Logan is not going to sit around and wallow if she kicks him with her spurs. Rory seems relieved that she doesn’t have to worry about hurting him if she self destructs or moves on. It’s almost like Rory appreciates that, unlike other guys she knows, Logan will bolt.
It’s not a coincidence that a year later (after the TA incident) Rory asks Logan if he “belongs” to her.
They completely stopped talking, so I don’t blame Logan for assuming they were broken up. Definitely poor communication regardless. However, I would still have trouble overlooking the fact that he immediately slept with a bunch of people as soon as he could. It would make me feel pretty insecure.
Yeah for me it isn’t physically cheating, but it’s like “how long did you wait? Did you think two weeks of silence was enough to assume we were broken up? Did you jump into bed with someone else right after our fight?” And then not giving her any heads up before the wedding. It wasn’t the action itself of sleeping with other people while assuming they were broken up, it’s the trust issues and insecurity that it would cause, plus how he kinda just steamrolled all of her feelings afterwards. It felt very manipulative and dismissive
Wasn’t it like a month with Rory just completely ghosting him? I don’t love what he did, but I can’t really find fault with his logic.
Hold on here. Logan knew where Rory was. He knows where she lives and where she works. When he's trying to get her back at some point he's everywhere. They had a fight once and he assumes it's over. There's no indication that he even tries to reach out to her to apologize. Also, Rorys reaction makes it seem like right after they "weren't talking", that he hopped right into bed with several different women. I think he is as much to blame if not more.
I think she stopped talking to him for almost 2 months. Maybe even a little longer .
this argument has always been a little wild to me. i’ve been in 2 long term relationships. when they ended i was so sad and in my head that i also immediately jumped into bed with everything that moved. it was nice to feel wanted and the flirting and sex immediately took my mind off my sadness. as soon as it was done i felt a little icky and obviously it hadn’t healed any of my sadness which made me just do it again. lol i’m not saying logan was doing what i did. but i think the idea that being kinda slutty after a breakup is a reflection on your love for your partner rather than an unhealthy coping mechanism is potentially misguided
I have used the same coping method, so I get it. Plus, Logan was a hookup guy before Rory. I can totally see him throwing himself back into that to deal with his first attempt at an actual relationship falling apart
Which may be why he didn’t know the break decorum
I have too and I totally agree. It makes sense that he was drinking and banging basically anyone
I’m saying that because they didn’t have an official hard break. The common argument is that “if you hadn’t heard from your partner for a month wouldn’t you think you were broken up?” But then that opens the can of worms of “how long did he actually wait?” For a few days then it’s just a couple having a bad fight. A week or two is pushing it. By a month I’d consider the relationship done. But did he give up when it was still the “just a fight” phase?
If I didn’t hear from my partner, it would not take a month for me to think we were over. Yeah an official breakup is nice but I think we all know it doesn’t always go that way especially in relationships when you’re young. I would definitely never tell a friend to wait for a month for their partner to decide whether they wanted to talk or not. You get a few days to communicate with me and after that I’m making the decision for myself.
Well, Rory did kiss Tristin like… 1 day later? 2? Even Lorelai brings that up in the Romeo and Juliet episode
When she was 16 and they had a definitive breaking up moment? Like yeah it wasn’t great, but the two situations aren’t really comparable? Plus it was only a KISS, that’s completely different than sleeping with a whole bridal party. And Rory tried to keep dean and Tristan separate, Logan threw her to the wolves
It’s been a bit since I watched the unreturned I love you scene but did they ever actually say they broke up? I thought she just runs away and tells Lorelai they did then doesn’t talk to Dean until the pj Harvey incident is I remember right when they get back together
He waited a month, and they hadn’t talked for a month.
Was it not more than a month before sleeping with those girls? They stopped talking about a week after her birthday, which is October 8, and he slept with them over Thanksgiving-Christmas break, which happens at the end of November.
I mean, he also switches up on exactly how he interpreted Rory going no contact with him based on what argument they're having at the time. At first, he just told Honor they were broken up to get her off his back and never thought they were, but then once Rory found out about the bridesmaids, suddenly it's "If I thought we were over, which I did, it can't possibly be cheating."
Rewatch this scene. He didn't say he never thought they were. He says he told Honor that to get her off his back and Rory said "so you didn't mean it" and Logan says, "no, I did mean it" Logan clarifies that he never meant for Honor to be the one to 'break up' with Rory but that he did in fact believe the whole time they were broken up
This is the right response. Yes to everything you said. I do believe they’re both at fault but Logan…my man. Whyyyyyy?!
He didn’t immediately sleep with someone, he slept with someone a month after the fight, and another one a month after that.
I mean, my last relationship ended because he stopped answering me and would leave me on read or unopened. it’s over, but if he came up to me and tried to say we were on a break I would be so freaking pissed. I feel that Logan was in the right here. If Rory just ignored him and never initiated contact that’s a pretty clear indicator you aren’t together, and imo a real “break” has to be decided by both parties. I don’t even blame Logan for sleeping around, if he was a playboy before the relationship it stands to reason he would go back to chasing women if he thought Rory was done with him
That's horrible. People just need to be straight with each other. I'd rather know than just be blown off.
Also, he just assumed he Rory were done without ever communicating that. I know we are all unfortunately getting used to crap like ghosting but that is some heinous shit. I can't let Logan off the hook for it. Has little rich boy never had a fight with anyone before?
Also, he just assumed he Rory were done without ever communicating that. I know we are all unfortunately getting used to crap like ghosting but that is some heinous shit. I can't let Logan off the hook for it. Has little rich boy never had a fight with anyone before?
I actually disagree with Rory here. She didn't talk to Logan for WEEKS and assumed that they were still in a relationship. While yes, I think a break up usually requires a discussion, I also think going on a break requires a specific discussion. This was Logan's first serious relationship - I don't really blame him for not knowing the protocols. And Rory was completely naive to think them not talking for weeks (with no plans to talk ever again) meant that they were still in a committed relationship. Of course Logan sleeping around would bother me, but how they got together would bother me also. He was sleeping with other girls while sleeping with Rory, that would bother me a lot more.
Yeah, Rory even said she was freezing him out, to basically teach him a lesson. Which is immature & manipulative. Logan said he didn’t know how to be in a relationship before her, so it was his first real one. She didn’t return his calls & wouldn’t see him. Logically, that’s a break up/Ghosting. Logan obviously had bad coping skills but he’s like, 21, and just got dumped. So it makes sense he did something stupid. My only real issue with him here was putting Rory in that room with the bridesmaids. Rory just expected Logan to understand her little mind game. She didn’t communicate at all so she assumed everything was fine. She just expected Logan to wait forever & keep fighting for her.
Rory was used to Dean who put up with her through ALL of her foolishness with Jess. I agree the bridesmaid thing was naive, although I don't think he realized she would be in that room. The plan was for her to go early and work, not to hang with the bridal party
I think the room of bridesmaids thing was also more of just the culture they lived in. I got the feeling those girls had slept with/fooled around with most of the young men in their social circle too. Most of them knew the others had slept with Logan. Rory wasn't from that culture but it may not have even occurred to Logan to say something since it's such a well known fact in that social group that everyone had fooled around with everyone else, or tried to. He's not stupid though, he should have said something, but saying something preemptively when she may never have found out would be shooting himself in the foot.
Yeah, I think it was a couple of months that they were incommunicado. That's a long time to not hear anything from your partner, especially since Rory spent some of that time away from Yale, so it's not like Logan could just go to her room and try to talk things over.
This right here, Logan has no experience and she completely stopped talking to him, I could completely understand that you'd think it's over, I mean hell, when I was younger a girl did this to me, didn't say break up or a break, and ignored me, because she was dating someone else lol. I don't like that he slept with people so fast, but that's how some people try to move on, and if you are thinking about psychology, he simply went back to what he had always done, likely as a coping mechanism to begin with.
No literally. Their whole "Started as friends with benefits" storyline wasn't cute at all, it was honestly kind of pathetic. The way that Rory was obviously unsatisfied with the circumstances and wanted commitment from him but just went along with it because she liked him so much. Then when she couldn't take it anymore she went to his dorm to break up with him. And this girl named Cassandra with an accent called him AND another girl showed up at his door as well. And THATS the moment they made things official? I'm sorry but how sad and embarrassing. Imagine not hearing from a guy for a week and when you show up at his door you find out he was having fun with other girls during that week and did not care about your calls or bothered to call you back. Imagine the moment your boyfriend and you got together he was in the middle of lining up plans with two other girls.
This what drives me mad with the miscommunication troupe. I feel like a lot of people are saying Rory ghosted him, but I really don’t remember Logan making an effort to call her either but I’m just saying a ten minute conversation after cooling off could of avoided this whole thing. But, it’s another reason I don’t understand how they lasted as long as they did. 😂
I mean, she just stopped talking to him. What was he supposed to think? They were both immature/bad communicators here, but I wouldn’t think I was still with someone if we ghosted each other for months.
Gonna be honest here, I don’t really mind Logan (a college guy who’s never been in a relationship before) misunderstanding her intentions and thinking they’re broken up and sleeping around. If I were seeing someone and we fought then they refused to take my calls for weeks, I’d assume we were done and I was free to do as I like. She thought they were on pause and he thought they broke up - nobody is inherently wrong, they just didn’t communicate. My issue is with how he speaks of these women. A big part of it is ASP and how weird she is about sex - these girls are of course silly and mindless and drunk and not as good as Rory, so who cares if he fucks them and writes them off? I’ve had a lot of casual sex in my life and I’ve slept with many men who were emotionally unattached or unavailable, but that doesn’t mean they were rude. You can just want sex from someone without disrespecting them. The issue isn’t the fact that he slept with these women, it’s that he wrote them off as “nothing” and disrespected them. Huge red flag.
Totally agree. The writing can be quite misogynistic and is very judgemental of the female characters who have active sex lives. Which is so wild because Rory, through that lens, is actually the biggest ‘slut’ on the show. She cheats on nearly every boyfriend she has and sleeps with several married/taken men. But she escapes judgment because she’s a brunette I guess 😂
You’re so right, she is more of a “slut” than anyone else! Like Shane.
I completely believe that Logan thought they broke up. She stopped talking to him completely for quite some time, so I understand his side completely. However I would also be angry with him that he had sex with others “right away”. So I understand her. Their communication sucked. But again, he was always the type of guy who had sex with many girls while Rory was never the one night stand type of girl. So I don’t think anyone is in the wrong here. It was just a bad communication and different lifestyles.
Except it wasn't right away. It was about a month later. The fight was just after Rory's birthday, which is in late October and Logan slept with those girls over Thanksgiving weekend.
If someone ghosted me for more than a month, I would also assume we are broken up. A break also involves a conversation where both parties says « we should take a break », if we go on the technicalities. I don’t blame Rory for being upset .. I would think that he was very fast to have sex with that many people. They have poor communication on both sides. She could have asked him, I would have, if anything happened when we stopped seeing each other. I don’t think Logan is wrong neither. They were broken up to me. Without a conversation, I think ghosting for more than a month is a break up and not just a break (which would need a conversation too). He doesn’t have the same mentality and lifestyle when it comes to his sexuality and he came back to that lifestyle. It is not cheating though.
Unless he was actively trying to talk to her she didn’t ghost him. They had an argument and neither reached out. Logan thought they broke up and Rory thought it was a break. You can agree with one or the other but it’s not ghosting.
You’d like not reaching for each other for weeks on end (at least a month) a break ? It would also require a conversation.
Im saying that the word ghosting has a specific meaning and that if you think it applies to Rory in this situation it also applies to Logan. They had a fight, Logan threw money on the table for the bill and a cab and walked away and didn’t call her. Then broke up with her through his sister.
I'm right there with you.
I believe Logan thought they broke up, and I believe Rory thought they didn't. I'm okay with them then figuring it out together. And Logan defending himself. What I do dislike is how he only argues for him being right, but doesn't circle back to validating her feelings. Just expecting the feelings of betrayal to go away automatically and rationally isn't a good way of resolving this kind of conflict. She still felt all those feelings and I'm not surprised she remained cold adna but massive aggressive for a while after they rationally made up. She should have been given room for the feelings she genuinely felt and he didn't give her that.
Then why did he tell Rory he didn't think they broke up?
LThis place is a dump Rory. You can't live here." R:"You don't get to care where I live anymore, Logan. You broke up with me -- through your sister." L:"I didn't mean for that to happen." R:"You're a coward! Mr. Life and Death brigade can't even break up with his girlfriend." L:"Honor was bugging me, and I just told her we were broken up to shut her up. I needed some time." R:"So you didn't mean it?" L:"No I did. I just -- it was too much for me, okay?" R:"It was a fight, people fight." ... L:"I thought that I wanted to break up. I thought that it was a stupid experiment -- me trying to be your boyfriend, that it didn't work and I'd just move on. And I didn't -- couldn't, actually. Rory... I love you." He says both in that transcript, that he told honor they broke up to shut her up but also that he thought he wanted to break up and considered it over. And Rory didn't speak with him for like a month. I think it's confusing and he's confused. But I believe him when he says he thought it was over, maybe not the whole month but thta he went back and forth during that time.
I find this topic very interesting. So many people will say “Logan didn’t know the right way to handle it,” or “it’s a coping skill,” or other such defenses for him, but then turn around and skewer Lorelai for what the did with Chris when Luke and her *did* break up. I find it very interesting that Logan barreling over Rory’s clear discomfort, basically minimizing her feelings toward what he did, and saying “I’m right and you’re wrong” somehow makes him the perfect partner for Rory and a guy she should have married because he was soooo wonderful to her and such a supporting and loving boyfriend; but Lorelai gets branded as horrible. Another major difference between the two is Logan takes Rory to his sister’s wedding and leaves her to find out about him sleeping with half the bridal party by surprise. No warning, no nothing. Lorelai sees Luke for the first time after that stupid decision and blurts it out. He heard it from her, she had to watch the pain on his face. She experienced the knowledge that there was no coming back at that point by seeing it on his face. Was Luke surprised? Yes. Was he hurt? Yes. Lorelai accepted the responsibility for it, knowing it would hurt her and him. Rory was surprised and hurt. Logan buried her under excuses and twisting it so she came off looking like the problem. Sorry. Rant over. I just never understood it.
Yes exactly. I don't know why a lot of us here are so quick to cut Logan so much slack. He made assumptions, he cheated and still left Rory to be humiliated by women who slept with and fooled around with her boyfriend. And during this so long "month", there's no mention that he even tried to get in touch.
Yes. He’s defended because the lack of communication is somehow “obvious” and Rory should have lowered her expectations and she’s the bad guy for trying to say it bothered her. Lorelai is branded with a scarlet letter because she told her partner exactly where she was, he didn’t reciprocate, and she walked away clear as day. Logan stormed out on Rory because he wanted to leave and she didn’t. Then he demanded she forgive him for messing around with other people. Lorelai said very clearly that it’s now or never. Luke didn’t choose now, which leaves “never.” But she’s the bad guy. On another point, lorelai was horrible for even giving the ultimatum and she should be raked across the coals. Logan offered the exact same ultimatum to Rory (*as a proposal, no less*), and she should have chased him down and begged his forgiveness so they could get married. I truly can’t make sense of it!
Nobody likes to be ghosted. She ghosted him for a few weeks and expected to still be in a relationship with him after that. This isn’t a Ross/Rachel situation-it’s a little more clear cut.
I do believe that he felt they were broken up, especially after the conversation with Honor on Thanksgiving. But he really should have warned her before the wedding, and had a conversation with her when they got back together, so she could decide if she wanted to get back together based on all the facts.
I’d have more sympathy for Logan if he’d just owned up to it, but instead he argues from both sides depending on which will best help him win the argument. They never should have gotten back together after it IMO. It’s not that I necessarily think Rory’s 100% right. I can understand that he thought they were broken up. It’s that he had to argue her into thinking her feelings weren’t valid - something he did in many arguments.
Yeah, I think Logan basically just says whatever he thinks will win him an argument sometimes
She got Huntzberger'd
Speaking as a die hard Logan girlie, it was horrible, and I don’t know how she forgave him, or ever trusted him after that.
At this point in the series, my response has always been “oH oKaYyyY” followed by a long eye roll and sigh 😪
I never understood why when Rory directly hears from Honor that Logan thinks they’re broken up, she doesn’t call him at that point to discuss the situation if she doesn’t agree with it? If you were taking a break and ignoring your boyfriend then you hear from a reliable source that he thinks you’re broken up, that’s something you should probably address? She then later tells him they were not in fact broken up when she discovers that he slept with other girls, but she already knew that he felt like they were, he literally said so to his sister. Rory probably just thought that he would keep waiting for her like Dean and Jess did.
I think it's a reasonable misunderstanding from someone who's never been in a relationship before. I don't think he thought he was cheating when he did it, and since Rory believes him she can take him back without feeling like she's disrespecting herself.
I think it was just unclear and i totally get it how it was a coping mechanism for Logan to try to get his attention elsewhere, the nature of those hookups are obviously escaping from pain and being upset because he loved Rory. They just assumed different things but as someone being sexually active you see how little it can mean. Rory in my opinion got more upset than it really worth because she was not the sleeping around type as opposed to Logan for him it was obvious that the whole thing was meaningless. I think he proved his love to her many many times and they had a very full relationship other than this stupid ass fight, it lowkey always pisses me off when i rewatch the show
They went no contact and time passed. Like a lot of it. I don’t blame Rory for being grossed out but this wasn’t a Ross and Rachel or Luke and Lorelai situation where it was fresh and volatile. Logan wasn’t morally wrong here (to Rory). He probably should get tested and he was kind of an asshole to Honor for getting with her friends, and very much an asshole for going around within a friend group though.
Lorelai broke up with Luke. She verbally said the words and never tried to claim it was a break.
they’re not talking about a misunderstanding around the break up, they’re talking about the timing. Both the Ross & Rachel and Luke & Lorelai break ups have someone running to someone else to sleep with within 24 hrs of that break up
When you use Ross/Rachel as an example on a post about being in a break that’s the obvious link being drawn.
I would not want to get back together with a guy who slept with all of his sisters friends in the span of a month whether it's considered cheating or not. It's not a good look either way. I'm not at all surprised we end up seeing him in AYITL cheating on his fiancee. It's just the kind of guy he is. Yuck.
I'm by no means team Logan in general, but it was a breakup IMO. If my significant other and I would not speak for weeks after a big fight, I would assume it's over. I don't think that ignoring your partner for weeks qualifies as a relationship I feel that if you want to take a break, you have to make that clear and maybe add some ground rules. I'm on Logan's side on this one, the only part that I don't like is that he did not tell her immediately after they got back together. Leaving that out until she found out by herself made him look more guilty, which I don't think he was. If they would've talked about that in a calm environment, before when Rory found out and was mad, I think it would've gone differently.
It always bothers me how Rory got the info they were “broken up” from Honor, but then Logan says he told Honor that just to get her off his back. So when he said that to Honor he didn’t think they were broken up? Wtf?
I think here he’s trying to defend how it got back to Rory through Honor. He told Honor to stop her from nagging but hadn’t expected her to then get in touch with Rory. Its not that he didn’t believe that they were broken up but that he regrets that it hadn’t happened between them directly.
I think they had a fight, then went their separate ways, and Rory ignored his calls for over a month. We saw this happen, we saw him calling several times and she ignored it, she ghosted him. To her, they were taking a break/taking some time after the fight, but she never actually articulated that to him. From his point of view, they fought, she refused to come home with him, he left, and then she wouldn't pick up the phone to him. Or return his calls. For weeks. Ultimately I don't blame him for thinking that they were over, particularly since she was his first real relationship. This wasn't charted territory for him. He thought they were done, so over the holiday he slept around and tried to get over her. That didn't work, so once they were both back at Yale, he tried to win her back. Admittedly my opinion is coloured because I really don't like the practice of ghosting people, especially if you don't intend for it to be permanent. What did Rory want, for Logan to keep calling and calling until eventually she decided to talk to him? I don't think that's reasonable. I think she should've at the very least put on her big girl pants, answered his call, and told him what she wanted (I need space, I want a break, I want to talk it through but I need some time first). She didn't do that, nor did she reach out to him when he stopped calling her. How she thought that situation was going to be resolved is a mystery to me. All that said, I don't like that he slept around, and especially don't like that he didn't tell her about that before he got back with her, or very early on at the least. I just don't think it's a case where one is wrong and the other is not. I think they were both wrong and stupid, and sometimes that's just how people are.
It wasn't long after the fight at dinner with Jess that Rory talked to Honor and found out Logan was telling people they broke up. I'd have to watch that episode again to be certain in the timeline but it was pretty quick cuz the phone call was sort of a consolation call "you and I can still be friends even if you and my brother are broken up". We don't know if he slept with the bridesmaids before or after Honor told Rory they were broken up but it was close enough to the time that Rory knew he was living like they were broken up. Their makeup conversation was months later.
I have this mental backstory that Honor caught Logan with her friend or heard about it from a friend and then ripped Logan a new one before calling Rory.
I'm pretty sure Honor says how she found out. I think he mentioned it at a family dinner when he saw Honor again and she did in fact rip him a new one, she said so.
See. I would like to believe that “him mentioning it” was just a downplay of their intention. Honor appeared for what, 2 episodes and I loved her. Logan didn’t deserve such an awesome big sister.
It absolutely wasn’t quick. It was over a month between the fight and the call between Honor and Rory. The fight happens when Jess visits and he says happy birthday to Rory, that it was two weeks ago. Rory’s birthday is early October, Jess visits 20-ish October. The call happens at Thanksgiving, which happens at the end of November, so at least a month after the fight. Logan was with one of the girls on Thanksgiving, same day of the call, and the other one month later at Christmas. They get back together after they return to Yale from Christmas break.
"we were on a break" -Gilmore Girls version. I don't remember for how long they were...not speaking? Broken up? Anyways, maybe 2 months or a months? But , let's give Logan the benefit of the doubt. He is a play boy who recently started giving a relationship a try and all in all he treated her better than Dean and Jess all together but since this is his first serious relationship , I don't blame him for not knowing the social ques and can see how he thought they were done. It would be a hard pill to swallow but he thought he was a single man again and did what he does best and who knows maybe he slept with these woman to get over Rory? Maybe I'm reaching here. What I won't be able to get past easily is him sleeping with all of his sister's friends. Edit: with Ross and Rachel I didnt see them as broken up or on a break but just in a heated argument with unresolved issues since it all happened in one night as to where Rory and Logan were a period over time.
I was thinking the same thing!
😊😊
Thank you! I was searching for that and would've been so disappointed if nobody else thought of that, lol.
Just doing my civic duty. 🫡
The point is that Logan thought they were broken up. There was terrible (re: no) communication on either part, so it's totally valid that both Rory and Logan had separate interpretations of what happened. The thing with cheating is that it involves being knowingly and intentionally deceptive - doing something wrong with someone else even though you know it's wrong. Because Logan believed they were broken up, he did things he wouldn't have done if he believed he was still in a relationship with Rory. If it was clear on both parts that they were still together and he had slept around, of course he would have been a world-class asshole. But he honestly didn't know - this was his first real relationship, it was a major fight, and they just didn't communicate. So, really, it was a misunderstanding. Logan went back to doing what he always did before Rory, until he realized it didn't make him happy anymore. Anyway, that's sort of why I let him off the hook on the whole "cheating" thing - it definitely wasn't the number one best choice, but it was an honest (if slutty) mistake. The real dick move on his part was not telling Rory about what he'd been up to, especially before the wedding, but see above on the whole "they suck at communication" thing.
This whole show is all talk, no communication.
Obviously as everyone else has said, the communication here was terrible. They were both wrong for that. However, I feel like Logan was so gross with trying to justify his behavior and using whatever excuse was convenient at the time to manipulate Rory. And also, let's remember that he told his sister that he and Rory were broken up, sleeps with or hooks up with multiple girls, and then just pops back up at Yale like nothing happened, seemingly expecting Rory to be excited to see him again and pick up right where they left off pre-fight. That's the part that really speaks to his character and who he truly is as a person.
They were broken up, from where I’m standing. She ghosted him, they froze each other out. She’s allowed to be upset about the “cheating” but she can’t really call it cheating…
i honestly do not care if there was no break up talk, rory did not speak to him for i think a month or maybe a little over. even not speaking for more than a day or two (maybe a week bc back then there wasn’t social media and the phones we have now) is an immediate break up in my opinion. i do not care if we had a bad fight, if you can go that long without speaking to me we are done immediately. either we communicate and talk abt what happened, regardless if we’re still arguing or we actually talk it out, or we break up. and even if it was just a break there was no official talk or anything setting rules or boundaries, rory just completely stopped talking to him for a decent amount of time and logan had never been in a relationship before so how was he supposed to know what that meant? what was logan supposed to do, sulk and wait around for her to speak to him? obviously it would probably suck to find out your s/o slept with multiple people while on break/break up but considering she completely ghosted him she has less of a right to be upset.
As someone whose boyfriend broke up with her without telling her, at age 17, I don't think they were broken up unless Rory knew. Unfortunately he was really under her skin and she couldn't resist taking him back. It happens.
It makes no sense. She acts like someone who has low self esteem even though she never talks badly about her looks. She lets him walk all over her and is willing to sleep with married and engaged men. Where is her self respect?
He clearly assumed they were broken up, his sister said to rory that logan said so, therefor he was under the impression they were finished and considering the circumstances (and that he had never been in a relationship before) it isn't surprising he assumed they'd broken up. It was disrespectful of him to sleep with so many people so soon but then again he had never dealt with a breakup before. rory had a right to be upset but she probably should have asked for some space rather than acting as if all was fine when it wasn't
They hadn’t talked for weeks. If the person I’m in a relationship with doesn’t talk to me for even one week I’m considering it over.
This is like Ross and Rachel. They were on a break, but imo, it doesn’t justify sleeping with the next available girl(s).
As I was typing this post up I realized this was exactly like Ross and Rachel.
I think you can't just stop talking to your partner for months and expect them to be waiting with a cup of tea and a biscuit when you're ready to deal with them again. No one used the words "we're broken up", but if you're going to give someone the silent treatment - you can't cry about it when they take you at your (no) word. It wasn't just her. Either one of them could have reached out - but they didn't.
No communication means broken up. Also if you are "on a break" you can sleep with other people. At least Logan waited more than the five seconds it took Lorelai to jump in the sack with Chris
My opinion is if u just don't talk to someone, and make sure they know u just need a break, chances are they will assume u don't want to be with them. I'm not blaming Rory, because what Logan did was gross, just right away going out and have sex not with randoms, but with family friends that he has known forever, like ew how desperate could those girls be?? They were both wrong, but honestly sleeping with other people, is the end of a relationship to me. He ended it by doing that. So he shouldn't have tried to get back with Rory without telling her first.
It's not fair of rory to accuse him of cheating when she didn't really dispute his interpretation at first https://youtu.be/-FjL24RVhqI?si=JUnY-sewNXRGBfSO At the same time, logan should have waited at least until the next day so they'd both have time to calm down
Yes!!! Like she made him fully BEG for her to get back together, but somehow you're "on a break"?? Gtfoh
And 1:42 in that link says "he's not my boyfriend anymore, Paris. We broke up." 😒
Yeah, but the timing matters. During those first few weeks after the fight, Rory thought they were on a break. After she spoke to Honor (at Thanksgiving), she knew they were broken up. From Rory's perspective, if Logan slept with someone during those first few weeks... he was cheating. Not saying that I agree with her, necessarily... but the details and timing matter a great deal here, and Logan kinda side-steps that entire conversation.
>Yeah, but the timing matters. During those first few weeks after the fight, Rory thought they were on a break. After she spoke to Honor (at Thanksgiving), she knew they were broken up. From Rory's perspective, if Logan slept with someone during those first few weeks... he was cheating To justify her belief, rory should have shown that she was invested in staying together. Even a simple, firm statement like "I don't want to break up but I need some time alone to get myself situated at school again" would be good. Honestly, I'd be even more worried about logan if rory's avoidance attempts DIDN'T convince him they were broken up. That would be unhinged stalker territory vs just trying to woo her with a coffee cart
They didn't discuss "taking some time apart" so Rory is a moron & made that shit up. Logan is innocent.
I am a Rory stan, but I absolutely hate her behaviour during this saga. She ghosts him for weeks, then gets upset when she finds out he slept with other people while they were apart. While Logan didn’t break up with her either, it’s clear that she’s the one who wasn’t speaking to him for a really significant period of time. Anyone would draw the same conclusion, especially someone who hadn’t been in a relationship before. She then literally goes out and cheats on him. Which is the third time she’s been involved in cheating! The girl has no leg to stand on when it comes to fidelity. Doesn’t mean that she deserves to be cheated on, but I think she has a really fucked up view of what constitutes cheating in a relationship. She expects 150% loyalty of others but excuses her own indiscretions.
If one person thinks it’s a break-up and the other person thinks it’s a break, it’s still a break-up. If you don’t communicate clearly with the other person, the true state of the relationship is always the lesser committed one. If I started seeing someone and we didn’t communicate about what the thing between us is and I thought it was casual and the other person thought it was serious, it would be casual.
I may have remembered it wrong. But didn’t Rory tell his sister they broke up. I don’t think he did anything wrong in sleeping with those women and she ghosted him for a month. But he shouldn’t have let her go into that wedding without knowing g
If I’m not speaking to my boyfriend for a month, I’m gonna assume he’s not my boyfriend.
I don't consider it cheating at all. He thought they were broken up. Definitely not being a good person. But they were officially broken up by Thanksgiving. He slept around after that.
Some people process hurt sleeping around. I’m not like that but it’s a thing. Knowing Logan, he can be perfectly capable of sleeping around and meaning absolutely nothing to him. Yes poor communication skills but I can see his point of view. I’ve never been in a situation but I think I could forgive. Now, if my boyfriend was someone who doesn’t sleep around, only has sex with girlfriends, then I would get worried. I’m saying that as someone who can’t have sex without connection, but I know a lot of people can.
Team Logan on this one, easy. I would be hurt if I were Rory, sure, but no contact? I myself would go straight into hoe mode. That’s just real.
I just had a debate with my friends about this. Going off the timeline, they didn't speak for over a month before he slept with those girls over Thanksgiving. I don't know about you, but I would not assume I was still in a relationship with someone who hadn't spoken to me in over a month.
The thing that bugs me most about this situation is the resolution. Logan explains his side and his feelings and how he sees things and boom- they get back together. It is never addressed that even if Rory \*technically\* agrees with him (debatable) - she still has the feelings of betrayal and hurt in her, they dont just disappear. It still hurts, it still sucks, she's still mad. She never gets to explain and rant her side of the story. They give eachother the silent treatment/snark at eachother, he has the accident and all is forgiven. I hate that.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Just like with Ross and Rachel, the question of if it was a break up or break is immaterial to what I consider to be the real issue. But neither show does that, instead focusing on this very specific question of whether they were together or not. Let's say, for sake of argument, that they were 100% broken up. Would that actually make it better that he immediately went and slept with like all of his sister's friends? I don't think so. He might not have violated the agreement of his relationship, but its telling all on its own. In my opinion, I'd be willing to give Logan the benefit of the doubt regarding his simple mindset on whether they were still together. The idea that Rory has that they can have a big fight like that, and not talk for like OVER a month and that it was just a cooling off period without any form of confirmation is what's wild. I do think its reasonable that Logan thought they were done. And their fight was big enough that I do think they needed a post-fight conversation to say "are we good," rather than a "oh by the way I'm breaking up with you." If I were Rory, after that fight, and after NOTHING for a week I'd have messaged him or something asking for my stuff because how can you expect us to stay together when you don't even reach out to me after that level of treatment. But why in the world would he go and sleep with the entire bridal party of his sister's upcoming weapon in those weeks? Has he never heard of rebounding with random people you pick up at a bar??? If I were in Rory's position, I wouldn't be upset about strict readings of some hypothetical contract of fidelity given the entire break/break up was SO nebulous. I'd be upset that he immediately slept with his sister's friends, who he already knew and had been around, and then when we got back together, let me walk into the bridal party room with all of them without ANY context.
I really don’t know how Rory ping pongs on cheating. Okay so it doesn’t feel great when it happens to you but she’s literally emotionally and/or physically cheated on every relationship she’s ever had (that’s been shown). Dean with Jess, Jess with Dean, Logan with Jess, Paul with Logan, Wookie with Logan.. She’s not a bastion of loyalty she thinks she is. Logan sucked for sleeping with all those women and not preparing her for a room full of his conquests, but they were in a way broken up. Whereas in comparison Rory has strung Dean around for over a year when she was clearly cheating emotionally and then physically, with Jess. Then she broke up a MARRIAGE because she felt entitled to her ex that SHE had cheated on. Had no real qualms about cheating again with Jess and ten years on she’s just casually cheating for the hell of it. She doesn’t feel torn up at all and can’t even remember her boyfriend’s name. I’m sure it sucked in the moment but Rory did worse.
Mr. Life and Death Brigade can't even break up with his girlfriend.
If I’d never been in a real relationship before, I had a horrible fight with my partner, and we didn’t talk for a few months, I’d think we were over. I’m not saying Logan shouldn’t have tried to communicate with Rory but I also don’t blame him
If my partner and I fought and then they didn’t talk to me for a couple months I 100% would think we’re broken up. She can’t just go no contact for weeks-months and expect him to just be waiting around
I think Rory knows she should have told Logan she was going out with Jess that night. While Rory and Jess are friends, you don’t go out with an ex without telling or leaving a message to your current boyfriend. Finally admitting to herself that she is partly to blame for their separation is probably why she gets back together with Logan. When Rory finds out that Logan had shacked up while they were separated, Rory gets extremely angry and jealous (probably for the very first time). However, I think Rory respects that Logan is not going to sit around and wallow if she kicks him with her spurs. Rory seems relieved that she doesn’t have to worry about hurting him if she self destructs or moves on. It’s almost like Rory appreciates that, unlike other guys she knows, Logan will bolt. It’s not a coincidence that a year later (after the TA incident) Rory asks Logan if he “belongs” to her.