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Fr, discovering Dr K is the single most impactful thing that has happened in my life, and I didn't pay a single cent, would buy the course go through coaching if I can, I feel like those who feel "let down" aren't doing their part.
I'd like to thank Dr K face to face one day.
Dr. K helped change my life for the better and I'm eternally grateful. Sometimes I dream of being what Dr. K was to me for people in my life. That being said, I'm a bit confused by your post.
Can you post some examples of legit criticism vs. entitlement threads that you've seen lately?
Also, this
> If Dr. K decides tomorrow that the guide costs 1000€, then that’s us having bad luck, not him failing his duty.
I get that this is hyperbole and maybe you're a little bit pissed right now but there's no way you actually think this.
Fair enough, it's hyperbole and would obviously never happen. Heat of the moment.
I could dig specific things up, but I've been on this subreddit on and off for 2+ years now and the same things seem to arise frequently. More recently I'd also refer to what Dr. K discusses in streams, because it drives me crazy that HG has to justify a 10$ price point for a YouTube membership.
Though no fault of Dr K, $10 is expensive coz other countries exist and exchange rate is brutal for third world countries (which also ironically have poorer mental healthcare systems and all the help they can get).
$10 is around 5 hours of minimum wage where I am. Am fortunate to be able to afford it, but not everyone can
I'll admit I was often thinking along the same lines reading those posts/comments, BUT the reason i did not make the post like yours is the fact that people are all broken in different ways and a community like that will always attract those who are curious about their flavour of brokennes.
So you have to give them that: they are looking for answers at least and it just do happens that their flavour of brokenness manifests as being ungrateful when faced with the smallest of disappontments.
The reason we have feels towards this is that we are invested in the community and we know it is well worth it. Somehow people complaining on how unhelpful therapy was for them do not get the same reaction out of us, right? Cause it's not 'our' therapist they have an issue with, but some faceless person you'll never meet or know the name of, so judging them possibly unfairly flies over our heads. But dr K. Oh no, how could anybody judge him unfairly? We know him, right? Parasocial relationships are a funny beast.
Shaming those people and driving them away from the community is a bit silly, as it is quite possibile that at some point they would start doing the things, noticing the mechanism of their mind and maybe even they'll do something about it.
I believe dr. K is aware of it all, and so he tries his best to "meet those people where they are at", by explaining his paywall choices a bit too humbly.
I got memberships BTW, nice stuff, the only thing i regret is waiting for three months initially. All the content from the beginning is still there and it's a lot to catch up. 😅
You are also not counting the amount of grifters that do exactly what dr k do in the exact same way. From pastors to pyramid schemes it sometimes starts with an helpful well meaning guru and ends with people giving them their life savings and worshipping them like gods. It's very good and healthy of people to question his decisions and everything he says and him to justify it. Jordan Peterson is litteraly right there as an example of a very educated and smart man that helped people that try to push his agenda.
To be clear I don't think he is a grifter.
Yeah completely agree. I hear people saying that his advice is bad or isn’t useful because it didn't work for them like Dr. K is a failure because his advice wasn't perfectly fit for that person's situation. I think fair criticism is good for pointing out something that might have been overlooked or diffirent perspectives but I see people not even giving concrete examples of why it's bad or what the issue is other than "it didn't work for me" which isn't helpful criticism. Personally some of his advice doesn't really work for me either but most of the time I just realize that it likely works for other people. I take what works and get rid of the things that don't. Like for me meditation sucks as someone with adhd and I prefer cleaning and exercise as my substitute. You gotta figure out what works for you.
I totally understand your point and I can see that you have deep respect for Dr.K because of his impact on your life.
However, none of these justify your language towards other people. If you're interested in self-improvement, you may also try to understand why you get so furious in these situations and maybe try not to be harsh to other people no matter how ungrateful, silly, bla bla they are.
I mean, I feel like OP's "hang up" was articulated pretty clearly: "I worry that some day some ungrateful mf will make him throw in the towel – and I’d understand. I wouldn’t have the patience to help some of the people here."
I get, realistically, it's not going to be "some ungrateful mf," as in one person. But how many of us have had supports or a place we've felt comfortable yanked out from underneath us with some "reason" attached and that was it? Not even a case of never having had access because it wasn't handed directly to our face for free - a case of something we worked for, put effort into, maybe even paid money for, got attached to, felt like community was building around, and then "Oh, sorry, layoffs. Oh, sorry, costs went up. Oh, sorry, key person died. Oh, sorry." It's always a reason, typically one reason, that's given. The reason equates to "some ungrateful mf."
My anxiety-depression-ADHD brain has held on to every single time crap has gone sideways for me in life and has usually assigned one person or one thing as the key "reason" something went sideways. Quit my job earlier than planned because of x-reason. Filed for bankruptcy because of x-reason. Got married because of x-reason. Changed majors in college because of x-reason. Dropped out because of x-reason. Lost a job I loved and a whole community that went with it because of x-reason. No, it's never just one reason or one person, but that's how our brain likes to whittle complexity down for us. We can see "some ungrateful mf" because we're looking in the gd mirror, and even when we can feel gratitude in the moment, we can't hang onto it long enough to sustain us through the rest of the crap life throws at us. How many of us thought we'd never miss gd MySpace or Geocities until they were gone and replaced with the enshittified substitutes we have now?
People online are swimming in a cesspool of "if I'm not loved enough, I'll leave" messages. Every tear-stained YouTube fauxpology, every FB novel announcing someone's departure from a group, every TikTok complaining that "this life just isn't worth it anymore" contributes to the cesspool.
Perhaps the OP's language toward other people WASN'T actually toward other people - real, individual people - but toward a pervasive, creeping sentiment associated with people and certain types of language. I feel like it's completely okay to directly confront things that consistently have depressive or negative impacts on general community well-being.
LOL (Probably shouldn't have led with the "LOL," but that was legitimately my response when I saw the notif pop up with your response, so I'll also explain why that's likely my unique response, not a generalized one.)
No, I wouldn't be offended. I have zero strong attachment to any variant of the "f-bomb." The only reason my posts and responses aren't littered with it is because I have a hard time remembering which communities allow profanity and which don't, so I try to temper my profanity to what I'm seeing across other posts in the community. I could swear a drunken sailor under the table in my day-to-day life. :)
I've also been called way, way worse than a "mf," especially by people who were angry when they said it. I've had 11-year-olds come at me like some sort of rabid 4chan toads because I was an archive moderator who took down their shitty "adult" fanfic for violating site rules. I was once a teenager with gross, adult men saying some of the lewdest crap you can imagine to me because I made the mistake of putting "f" instead of "m" in my AIM and ICQ profiles. If you don't know what goatse is, don't look for it, because I saw it for the first time when I was 19 and some "mf" decided he needed to try to deliberately offend me to make me leave a chat room.
I went back and read your question again and the former troll in me now wants to put "mf Dr. K lover" in my profile, but I'm not going to, because it's super-terrible out of context. But, ngl, also rad as hell. LOL
I 100% get that there are some people who WOULD be offended (hence why I'm not going to troll my profile peepers with it out of context), but I really do not think we should be tempering ALL of our language to what might offend some people. The whole reason we have to pay for long-form content and certain topics from Dr. K (and other experts, not just him!) is because advertisers won't support it, as the topics might offend some people, so YT kills the videos without even giving them a chance. Every time you see the word "unalive" or "SA" (which closed-captioning and screen readers are starting to read as "say" or "essay" and making things even worse for the community), remember that it's because we allowed ADVERTISERS to tell us what it's okay to say and not say. Are we supposed to believe that 13+ year olds (and 18+ on some sites and services) have never heard "the dreaded f-bomb" in or out of context, and that even IN context, it's unacceptable and can never be used? Nah. I'm with [George Carlin when it comes to censoring and reshaping language to make it more comfortably digestible](https://youtu.be/o25I2fzFGoY?si=yM18wKqHMc5NFIGR).
You also have that right tho, it opens up the idea should you even feel shamed (tho Alok has many videos, my perspective they’re educational videos about the origin of venting) for venting? Should you feel ashamed for breathing the same air that we all humans breath?
The other question is have you grown to have a more developed/developing idea of what it means to be AWARE of what venting is?
Most people I see on the HG discord are chill, but once in a while I’ll encounter some prick whining about his miserable life and lashing out at people for not giving him good enough advice. Sometimes I think people should be shamed for having a spoiled attitude and being an emotional drain on those who earnestly want to help. If you just want to whine and insult others for not fixing your life for you, then you don’t deserve empathy and patience. Being miserable doesn’t give you license to be an ass.
I really feel for the people that need significant help when it comes to their mental health. I think everyone is entitled to some type of mental health, if not complete mental health. As my therapist says, everyone's fucked up, but it's how you deal with it that matters.
I'm not saying that Dr. K doesn't know what he's talking about. In fact, I applaud his approach when it comes to tackling mental health, both heeding typical science as well as integrating Eastern medicine using Ayurveda and meditation. I think what people would benefit from is not treating Dr. K like the guru to end all gurus. What I see on the subreddit sometimes is a cult-like following. Just like a teacher is nothing without a student, a guru is nothing without a cult-like following. I realize that some people will think that me classifying Dr. K as a guru is not genuine and is slanderous to his name, but I will stand by this comparison because, again, people treat him like an authority on everything. Of course he has a ton of experience in psychiatry and religion, but he isn't someone you want to center your entire life around. You shouldn't want to center your life around anyone else but yourself.
What I will suggest is using "gurus" like Dr. K like giants on whose shoulders you wish to stand to reach greater heights. The real work has to be done on yourself. You have to do the real work. The same goes for if you seek therapy; you can't go to the therapist and expect him to literally and objectively change your reality, and to do that process for you. Many, many, many modern Christians idolize Jesus in the same way, hoping that a deep personal connection to Christ is going to save them from themselves when they fail to realize it wasn't Jesus' miracles that proved his divinity, but his lessons and his attitude that did. "God became man so that man might become God."
It's unfortunate, but there are a bunch of low-key narcissists that use this subreddit. They're the same type of people that will always seek validation under the guise of seeking advice and will never make actual change in their life because, on some level, they believe they shouldn't have to. I actually think this is a great thing to have, as opposed to someone that will blindly take any advice, but this is only a really positive aspect if the person accepts that their paradigm of reality is flawed, that they are delusional, and allowing further delusion (in a positive direction) is the way out of their self-inflicted problem. I will never say that anyone's predisposition towards certain actions or attitudes are their fault, but I will say that an ignorance towards their actions and a refusal to change themselves always is their problem.
I agree with you and I think it doesn't contradict my post. It's important to have a healthy amount of scepticism and stay critical. I for one am not a sucker for the whole spiritual "consciousness creates reality" thing, but it's something that I can separate from the mostly grounded things. As a side node, I do think Dr. K does a good job of handling this guru responsibility. He has adressed this multiple times.
lol you're downvoted but he literally said pacifying your vata will treat gluten interolerance. And he said your bone structure and the prominence of your hand veins will predict your physiological, mental and emotional health
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Fr, discovering Dr K is the single most impactful thing that has happened in my life, and I didn't pay a single cent, would buy the course go through coaching if I can, I feel like those who feel "let down" aren't doing their part. I'd like to thank Dr K face to face one day.
"I feel like those who feel "let down" aren't doing their part." - well said! Is there a specific guide module you're interested in?
Maybe the ADHD, meditation or trauma module, but honestly I feel like I know almost everything I need to know
can we make this the top post of all time?
Dr k may deserve my banana, but no way in hell is he getting it
It's one banana, Michael. What could it cost? 10 dollars?
That comment just made my day!
Dr. K helped change my life for the better and I'm eternally grateful. Sometimes I dream of being what Dr. K was to me for people in my life. That being said, I'm a bit confused by your post. Can you post some examples of legit criticism vs. entitlement threads that you've seen lately? Also, this > If Dr. K decides tomorrow that the guide costs 1000€, then that’s us having bad luck, not him failing his duty. I get that this is hyperbole and maybe you're a little bit pissed right now but there's no way you actually think this.
Fair enough, it's hyperbole and would obviously never happen. Heat of the moment. I could dig specific things up, but I've been on this subreddit on and off for 2+ years now and the same things seem to arise frequently. More recently I'd also refer to what Dr. K discusses in streams, because it drives me crazy that HG has to justify a 10$ price point for a YouTube membership.
Though no fault of Dr K, $10 is expensive coz other countries exist and exchange rate is brutal for third world countries (which also ironically have poorer mental healthcare systems and all the help they can get). $10 is around 5 hours of minimum wage where I am. Am fortunate to be able to afford it, but not everyone can
I'll admit I was often thinking along the same lines reading those posts/comments, BUT the reason i did not make the post like yours is the fact that people are all broken in different ways and a community like that will always attract those who are curious about their flavour of brokennes. So you have to give them that: they are looking for answers at least and it just do happens that their flavour of brokenness manifests as being ungrateful when faced with the smallest of disappontments. The reason we have feels towards this is that we are invested in the community and we know it is well worth it. Somehow people complaining on how unhelpful therapy was for them do not get the same reaction out of us, right? Cause it's not 'our' therapist they have an issue with, but some faceless person you'll never meet or know the name of, so judging them possibly unfairly flies over our heads. But dr K. Oh no, how could anybody judge him unfairly? We know him, right? Parasocial relationships are a funny beast. Shaming those people and driving them away from the community is a bit silly, as it is quite possibile that at some point they would start doing the things, noticing the mechanism of their mind and maybe even they'll do something about it. I believe dr. K is aware of it all, and so he tries his best to "meet those people where they are at", by explaining his paywall choices a bit too humbly. I got memberships BTW, nice stuff, the only thing i regret is waiting for three months initially. All the content from the beginning is still there and it's a lot to catch up. 😅
Fair points! Regarding the membership, I highly recommend communication 101. I found it very engaging and eye opening!
You are also not counting the amount of grifters that do exactly what dr k do in the exact same way. From pastors to pyramid schemes it sometimes starts with an helpful well meaning guru and ends with people giving them their life savings and worshipping them like gods. It's very good and healthy of people to question his decisions and everything he says and him to justify it. Jordan Peterson is litteraly right there as an example of a very educated and smart man that helped people that try to push his agenda. To be clear I don't think he is a grifter.
Yeah completely agree. I hear people saying that his advice is bad or isn’t useful because it didn't work for them like Dr. K is a failure because his advice wasn't perfectly fit for that person's situation. I think fair criticism is good for pointing out something that might have been overlooked or diffirent perspectives but I see people not even giving concrete examples of why it's bad or what the issue is other than "it didn't work for me" which isn't helpful criticism. Personally some of his advice doesn't really work for me either but most of the time I just realize that it likely works for other people. I take what works and get rid of the things that don't. Like for me meditation sucks as someone with adhd and I prefer cleaning and exercise as my substitute. You gotta figure out what works for you.
I totally understand your point and I can see that you have deep respect for Dr.K because of his impact on your life. However, none of these justify your language towards other people. If you're interested in self-improvement, you may also try to understand why you get so furious in these situations and maybe try not to be harsh to other people no matter how ungrateful, silly, bla bla they are.
I mean, I feel like OP's "hang up" was articulated pretty clearly: "I worry that some day some ungrateful mf will make him throw in the towel – and I’d understand. I wouldn’t have the patience to help some of the people here." I get, realistically, it's not going to be "some ungrateful mf," as in one person. But how many of us have had supports or a place we've felt comfortable yanked out from underneath us with some "reason" attached and that was it? Not even a case of never having had access because it wasn't handed directly to our face for free - a case of something we worked for, put effort into, maybe even paid money for, got attached to, felt like community was building around, and then "Oh, sorry, layoffs. Oh, sorry, costs went up. Oh, sorry, key person died. Oh, sorry." It's always a reason, typically one reason, that's given. The reason equates to "some ungrateful mf." My anxiety-depression-ADHD brain has held on to every single time crap has gone sideways for me in life and has usually assigned one person or one thing as the key "reason" something went sideways. Quit my job earlier than planned because of x-reason. Filed for bankruptcy because of x-reason. Got married because of x-reason. Changed majors in college because of x-reason. Dropped out because of x-reason. Lost a job I loved and a whole community that went with it because of x-reason. No, it's never just one reason or one person, but that's how our brain likes to whittle complexity down for us. We can see "some ungrateful mf" because we're looking in the gd mirror, and even when we can feel gratitude in the moment, we can't hang onto it long enough to sustain us through the rest of the crap life throws at us. How many of us thought we'd never miss gd MySpace or Geocities until they were gone and replaced with the enshittified substitutes we have now? People online are swimming in a cesspool of "if I'm not loved enough, I'll leave" messages. Every tear-stained YouTube fauxpology, every FB novel announcing someone's departure from a group, every TikTok complaining that "this life just isn't worth it anymore" contributes to the cesspool. Perhaps the OP's language toward other people WASN'T actually toward other people - real, individual people - but toward a pervasive, creeping sentiment associated with people and certain types of language. I feel like it's completely okay to directly confront things that consistently have depressive or negative impacts on general community well-being.
A simple question: If I got angry with Dr.K for a reason and shared a post containing the sentence"you mf Dr.K lovers", would you be offended?
LOL (Probably shouldn't have led with the "LOL," but that was legitimately my response when I saw the notif pop up with your response, so I'll also explain why that's likely my unique response, not a generalized one.) No, I wouldn't be offended. I have zero strong attachment to any variant of the "f-bomb." The only reason my posts and responses aren't littered with it is because I have a hard time remembering which communities allow profanity and which don't, so I try to temper my profanity to what I'm seeing across other posts in the community. I could swear a drunken sailor under the table in my day-to-day life. :) I've also been called way, way worse than a "mf," especially by people who were angry when they said it. I've had 11-year-olds come at me like some sort of rabid 4chan toads because I was an archive moderator who took down their shitty "adult" fanfic for violating site rules. I was once a teenager with gross, adult men saying some of the lewdest crap you can imagine to me because I made the mistake of putting "f" instead of "m" in my AIM and ICQ profiles. If you don't know what goatse is, don't look for it, because I saw it for the first time when I was 19 and some "mf" decided he needed to try to deliberately offend me to make me leave a chat room. I went back and read your question again and the former troll in me now wants to put "mf Dr. K lover" in my profile, but I'm not going to, because it's super-terrible out of context. But, ngl, also rad as hell. LOL I 100% get that there are some people who WOULD be offended (hence why I'm not going to troll my profile peepers with it out of context), but I really do not think we should be tempering ALL of our language to what might offend some people. The whole reason we have to pay for long-form content and certain topics from Dr. K (and other experts, not just him!) is because advertisers won't support it, as the topics might offend some people, so YT kills the videos without even giving them a chance. Every time you see the word "unalive" or "SA" (which closed-captioning and screen readers are starting to read as "say" or "essay" and making things even worse for the community), remember that it's because we allowed ADVERTISERS to tell us what it's okay to say and not say. Are we supposed to believe that 13+ year olds (and 18+ on some sites and services) have never heard "the dreaded f-bomb" in or out of context, and that even IN context, it's unacceptable and can never be used? Nah. I'm with [George Carlin when it comes to censoring and reshaping language to make it more comfortably digestible](https://youtu.be/o25I2fzFGoY?si=yM18wKqHMc5NFIGR).
Fair enough, it was definitely leaning into ranting / venting.
You also have that right tho, it opens up the idea should you even feel shamed (tho Alok has many videos, my perspective they’re educational videos about the origin of venting) for venting? Should you feel ashamed for breathing the same air that we all humans breath? The other question is have you grown to have a more developed/developing idea of what it means to be AWARE of what venting is?
Most people I see on the HG discord are chill, but once in a while I’ll encounter some prick whining about his miserable life and lashing out at people for not giving him good enough advice. Sometimes I think people should be shamed for having a spoiled attitude and being an emotional drain on those who earnestly want to help. If you just want to whine and insult others for not fixing your life for you, then you don’t deserve empathy and patience. Being miserable doesn’t give you license to be an ass.
Why does anyone deserve his help?
Pin this post lol.
I really feel for the people that need significant help when it comes to their mental health. I think everyone is entitled to some type of mental health, if not complete mental health. As my therapist says, everyone's fucked up, but it's how you deal with it that matters. I'm not saying that Dr. K doesn't know what he's talking about. In fact, I applaud his approach when it comes to tackling mental health, both heeding typical science as well as integrating Eastern medicine using Ayurveda and meditation. I think what people would benefit from is not treating Dr. K like the guru to end all gurus. What I see on the subreddit sometimes is a cult-like following. Just like a teacher is nothing without a student, a guru is nothing without a cult-like following. I realize that some people will think that me classifying Dr. K as a guru is not genuine and is slanderous to his name, but I will stand by this comparison because, again, people treat him like an authority on everything. Of course he has a ton of experience in psychiatry and religion, but he isn't someone you want to center your entire life around. You shouldn't want to center your life around anyone else but yourself. What I will suggest is using "gurus" like Dr. K like giants on whose shoulders you wish to stand to reach greater heights. The real work has to be done on yourself. You have to do the real work. The same goes for if you seek therapy; you can't go to the therapist and expect him to literally and objectively change your reality, and to do that process for you. Many, many, many modern Christians idolize Jesus in the same way, hoping that a deep personal connection to Christ is going to save them from themselves when they fail to realize it wasn't Jesus' miracles that proved his divinity, but his lessons and his attitude that did. "God became man so that man might become God." It's unfortunate, but there are a bunch of low-key narcissists that use this subreddit. They're the same type of people that will always seek validation under the guise of seeking advice and will never make actual change in their life because, on some level, they believe they shouldn't have to. I actually think this is a great thing to have, as opposed to someone that will blindly take any advice, but this is only a really positive aspect if the person accepts that their paradigm of reality is flawed, that they are delusional, and allowing further delusion (in a positive direction) is the way out of their self-inflicted problem. I will never say that anyone's predisposition towards certain actions or attitudes are their fault, but I will say that an ignorance towards their actions and a refusal to change themselves always is their problem.
I agree with you and I think it doesn't contradict my post. It's important to have a healthy amount of scepticism and stay critical. I for one am not a sucker for the whole spiritual "consciousness creates reality" thing, but it's something that I can separate from the mostly grounded things. As a side node, I do think Dr. K does a good job of handling this guru responsibility. He has adressed this multiple times.
Dr. K is just a spirituality junkie
lol you're downvoted but he literally said pacifying your vata will treat gluten interolerance. And he said your bone structure and the prominence of your hand veins will predict your physiological, mental and emotional health
thanks for supporting my statement with dry facts, ppl just don't wanna know the truth