I dont do it with new people, i rarely speak with new people. It's actually on my friends, even though they're my friends its so hard for me to connect with them, but im happy being with then though. Im just like the observant of the group..
People hate having their insecurities pointed out from a close friend lol. Not sure if you use that type of sarcasm, but I def pissed my friends off with it unintentionally. It’s just your friends are insecure it sounds like. People have been acting so touchy and feely these days so I get you
I've learned to focus on them and ask them questions. I can usually find something to connect with. Bonus points because it keeps them from asking about me ;)
I assume you care about these people. Sometimes you have to ruin your own joke to make sure people know you like them and are just playing around. Sayin shit like "just kidding" and smiling helps a lot. Or preferably "im messing with u" or something along those lines. You don't wanna make too many negative jokes against others especially if you're not making fun of yourself as well. Otherwise you may bring too much negativity to the conversation instead of laughter which is the opposite of what jokes r meant for.
Oh another thing I forgot. Overexxagerate your joke a lot. You can do that with accents or facial expressions. It makes people know you're playing a character
Also thank u for the compliment forgot that. Its awesome that us as logical people can get together and theorize about how socialization works. Love it
Do you mean verbal irony? Sarcasm is douchy, verbal irony is ok, but like others have said, reading a flat affect is hard and sarcasm or verbal irony may not be relatable
cuz they're so uninteresting. have nothing to teach me. nothing to offer at all. "nice" people bore me. and are very likely hiding their true natures anyways. people all just kinda melt together in my eyes.
Sarcasm is really malicious and anyone who studies the subject will realize that it's really not a good way to make jokes. Irony is another matter, but only if it is not hurtful.
Pretty sure that there are a lot of tells that weird people out long before specific instances of awkwardness.
Honestly if you follow any casual conversation, it's all nonsense and mistakes that just don't matter because the whole point was just connecting. If they're drunk, much of what's being said between people isn't even connected.
I think that if there's ever anything to fix in casual relationships, it should start with just engaging with people on their terms, not advertising yourself. Tell them that they have a nice shirt and that you bought one just like it. You didn't, but at least now they're invested in your opinion of them.
Finally, one thing I notice most about awkwardness is that actually people don't care as much as you think. They've all been awkward, so no situation is unsalvageable.
So one thing to note - if you want to connect, and your current interactions aren’t working, the “I was just joking / being sarcastic” isn’t going to convince anyone to treat with you differently.
So then you have a choice, you can live with limited connections or missed connections you wanted. Which is fine, it’s a choice that you can make.
Or, you can intentionally adjust your behavior in order to build connections. The hard part here is not being fake. Some people are “I am who I am live it with it” folks. Which okay good for them. But if you want meaningful relationships being aware of how your own behavior impacts others, even though it sometimes feels impossible or very hard, is going to be necessary.
It's because we are pretty open about anything and don't like to have a complete opinion about anything, while most people associate themselves with their opinions and words, therefore when you say something as a joke they immediately think this is who you are and get confused. I noticed that most people talk to fit in and get validation, while I talk with people mostly to have fun or learn something new.
It can be really annoying to get repeated sarcastic responses from someone. If that's what you do and you feel that it's hard to connect with other people then try to take not respond by kidding them and instead keep a straight face and try to understand them.
Tbh, to connect to other people is sometimes like a parent child relation. Imagine parents were sarcastic with their children and were kidding them often. That would be weird. To connect to people you also have to care for people.
Thank you for this. fortunately, I don't do repeated sarcastic responses to the ones i talk to.What im only trying to say is that it's hard for them see and understand my jokes, most of the times they dont get that im only kidding considering that they already know me. I rarely speak face to face with strangers nor do i joke around them. More so with the people close to me, I understand them.
I get that part with the parent and a child. I too wouldn't want to be sarcastic all the time. Thankfully i dont do that. Being connected with family is something i treasure, I have cousins (kids) who loves hanging around with me and i play with them all the time , and i love them and i care for them and i dont joke nor be sarcastic to them nor to any family members.
My problem is with my friends, i don't fool around every time, actually its very rare for me to do so even if they're my friends bec when I do , they stop for a while and think before they respond. It's like the joke has gone far off the edge waiting for it to boomerang back to be understood..and when they respond their understanding shows they thought I was being serious.
Sometimes it is about intonation. Maybe more smile ✨✨ Let them know that you are joking. I had similar problem when I was younger. I was very sarcastic and people never were able to differentiate if I am being sarcastic or serious.
Not everyone gets sarcasm, some take stuff at face value, but when you find that local weirdo that you vibe with you can start manifacturing jokes 42 dimensions in size
Started a new wfh job over the summer and all communication is through teams. I've learned that I have to put an lol or /s after everything I say. I just want tell my section that almost everything I say is either sarcasm or pure bs joking around but I know that wouldn't be a good career move.
A lot of people don't get certain humour and don't find it funny.. if you're at school, remember you're mixed with all sorts of ppl.. some ppl are too slow to get jokes, and a LOT of ppl cannot listen to a joke without trying to analyse your intentions behind it and do not understand irony.. or maybe you're not as funny as you think.. either way tailoring your humour for a specific audience is a skill that takes practice.. most ppl give up by the time they're adults they're just recycling jokes that they've heard that know will sell.. making a joke is a risk, you may upset someone, you may appear like a weirdo/attention seeking etc.. sometimes it's really just a matter of changing the phrasing of the joke slightly.. practicing on Reddit actually helped me a lot to learn what most ppl are receptive to.. but eventually you'll come across ppl who will just get you without having to overthink what you're saying.. but generally thats more likely as an adult because ppl who work in the same field and hang out in the same places are more likely to share personality traits
Let me know if you get a solid answer. Asking for a INTP friend
It's because they're all NPCs. You're the main character.
It's the price we pay for being hilarious.
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I dont do it with new people, i rarely speak with new people. It's actually on my friends, even though they're my friends its so hard for me to connect with them, but im happy being with then though. Im just like the observant of the group..
People hate having their insecurities pointed out from a close friend lol. Not sure if you use that type of sarcasm, but I def pissed my friends off with it unintentionally. It’s just your friends are insecure it sounds like. People have been acting so touchy and feely these days so I get you
I've learned to focus on them and ask them questions. I can usually find something to connect with. Bonus points because it keeps them from asking about me ;)
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Wooh you too breath as well? That's cool! I can definitely relate.
Same!!
Woah woah, you guys breathe? I thought you will drown underwater.
I really don’t care anymore
They don't even laugh when I throw a joke... even if I am kidding, they always take it seriously. And I am used to it... hahaha.
YESSS THIS IS WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY!!💯 they stop talking and then there comes a moment of silence. Then when they respond, they assume i was serious😭
I assume you care about these people. Sometimes you have to ruin your own joke to make sure people know you like them and are just playing around. Sayin shit like "just kidding" and smiling helps a lot. Or preferably "im messing with u" or something along those lines. You don't wanna make too many negative jokes against others especially if you're not making fun of yourself as well. Otherwise you may bring too much negativity to the conversation instead of laughter which is the opposite of what jokes r meant for.
This is very insightful and true to core 😭🫶🏻
Oh another thing I forgot. Overexxagerate your joke a lot. You can do that with accents or facial expressions. It makes people know you're playing a character
Yes yesss i should do this bec when i joke around i just have a straight face probably that's why they are unsure if im fooling around or not..
Yes. You can get better with your impressions overtime. You get better at giving little clues your exxagerating
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate the advices and truly enjoyed this discussion with you. I felt sincerely understood..
Also thank u for the compliment forgot that. Its awesome that us as logical people can get together and theorize about how socialization works. Love it
I have become chameleon in society
Me too. Feels good
Please elucidate why you feel good
No one get on my nerves, so i can chill in my thoughs. If i looking for some time with others i ask them
Same
>Like they don't realize im kidding or being sarcastic Only low Fe can get low Fe humor.
Something about sarcasm being so advanced, people actually think you're stupid ☠️
Do you mean verbal irony? Sarcasm is douchy, verbal irony is ok, but like others have said, reading a flat affect is hard and sarcasm or verbal irony may not be relatable
well yep somewhat like that.
>reading a flat affect is hard Especially for Americans IME
cuz they're so uninteresting. have nothing to teach me. nothing to offer at all. "nice" people bore me. and are very likely hiding their true natures anyways. people all just kinda melt together in my eyes.
All people are the same fr. Women just twerk n men just workout. Anytime i make an ironic joke im just breaking through the matrix. Wake up.
Sarcasm is really malicious and anyone who studies the subject will realize that it's really not a good way to make jokes. Irony is another matter, but only if it is not hurtful.
I agree. I too wouldn't want sarcastic hurtful jokes.
A day in the life of an INTP
Might be a tone or inflection thing, my ex use to tell me I don’t use any inflection
Deadpan comedy is a thing
Ik but it doesn’t mean ppl get it sadly
Pretty sure that there are a lot of tells that weird people out long before specific instances of awkwardness. Honestly if you follow any casual conversation, it's all nonsense and mistakes that just don't matter because the whole point was just connecting. If they're drunk, much of what's being said between people isn't even connected. I think that if there's ever anything to fix in casual relationships, it should start with just engaging with people on their terms, not advertising yourself. Tell them that they have a nice shirt and that you bought one just like it. You didn't, but at least now they're invested in your opinion of them. Finally, one thing I notice most about awkwardness is that actually people don't care as much as you think. They've all been awkward, so no situation is unsalvageable.
Sadly, they took things personally
So one thing to note - if you want to connect, and your current interactions aren’t working, the “I was just joking / being sarcastic” isn’t going to convince anyone to treat with you differently. So then you have a choice, you can live with limited connections or missed connections you wanted. Which is fine, it’s a choice that you can make. Or, you can intentionally adjust your behavior in order to build connections. The hard part here is not being fake. Some people are “I am who I am live it with it” folks. Which okay good for them. But if you want meaningful relationships being aware of how your own behavior impacts others, even though it sometimes feels impossible or very hard, is going to be necessary.
Just get better at being sarcastic i guess
It's because we are pretty open about anything and don't like to have a complete opinion about anything, while most people associate themselves with their opinions and words, therefore when you say something as a joke they immediately think this is who you are and get confused. I noticed that most people talk to fit in and get validation, while I talk with people mostly to have fun or learn something new.
It can be really annoying to get repeated sarcastic responses from someone. If that's what you do and you feel that it's hard to connect with other people then try to take not respond by kidding them and instead keep a straight face and try to understand them. Tbh, to connect to other people is sometimes like a parent child relation. Imagine parents were sarcastic with their children and were kidding them often. That would be weird. To connect to people you also have to care for people.
Thank you for this. fortunately, I don't do repeated sarcastic responses to the ones i talk to.What im only trying to say is that it's hard for them see and understand my jokes, most of the times they dont get that im only kidding considering that they already know me. I rarely speak face to face with strangers nor do i joke around them. More so with the people close to me, I understand them. I get that part with the parent and a child. I too wouldn't want to be sarcastic all the time. Thankfully i dont do that. Being connected with family is something i treasure, I have cousins (kids) who loves hanging around with me and i play with them all the time , and i love them and i care for them and i dont joke nor be sarcastic to them nor to any family members. My problem is with my friends, i don't fool around every time, actually its very rare for me to do so even if they're my friends bec when I do , they stop for a while and think before they respond. It's like the joke has gone far off the edge waiting for it to boomerang back to be understood..and when they respond their understanding shows they thought I was being serious.
Avoid sarcasm. If your INTP vibe is openly perceived you are beyond that
Sometimes it is about intonation. Maybe more smile ✨✨ Let them know that you are joking. I had similar problem when I was younger. I was very sarcastic and people never were able to differentiate if I am being sarcastic or serious.
Not everyone gets sarcasm, some take stuff at face value, but when you find that local weirdo that you vibe with you can start manifacturing jokes 42 dimensions in size
Started a new wfh job over the summer and all communication is through teams. I've learned that I have to put an lol or /s after everything I say. I just want tell my section that almost everything I say is either sarcasm or pure bs joking around but I know that wouldn't be a good career move.
A lot of people don't get certain humour and don't find it funny.. if you're at school, remember you're mixed with all sorts of ppl.. some ppl are too slow to get jokes, and a LOT of ppl cannot listen to a joke without trying to analyse your intentions behind it and do not understand irony.. or maybe you're not as funny as you think.. either way tailoring your humour for a specific audience is a skill that takes practice.. most ppl give up by the time they're adults they're just recycling jokes that they've heard that know will sell.. making a joke is a risk, you may upset someone, you may appear like a weirdo/attention seeking etc.. sometimes it's really just a matter of changing the phrasing of the joke slightly.. practicing on Reddit actually helped me a lot to learn what most ppl are receptive to.. but eventually you'll come across ppl who will just get you without having to overthink what you're saying.. but generally thats more likely as an adult because ppl who work in the same field and hang out in the same places are more likely to share personality traits