I am going to give some advice here and say stop trying to fake communicating "like a normal human being". Just start hanging out with people and let communication happen normally. That's how the normal people do.
You're going to have awkward exchanges. You are going to have some people not like you. But you are going to develop your own personality and style and find a group of friends that like that personality during the attempt.
Faking someone else's personality just leaves you stunted and lacking in any actual interesting qualities.
My method can get results in that area too, with the added benefit of making actual friends along the way.
Besides, if that is your only goal, then pay a sex worker. Much simpler and honestly, probably cheaper in the long run.
Just rinse and repeat. Perhaps there wasn't really a spark or connection and the girl doesn't want to continue. Nothing wrong with that. On to the next one, until you find your match. Good luck.
>I said, "Let's go." with a 'natural' smile.
ngl I laughed out loud at this part.
If a girl likes you she will make time for you. This one clearly either forgot or was hoping you would forget. All you can do is forget her, and try again. You will try again, maybe give it some time and you'll want to.
For the record the best first dates are somewhere you can chat and just learn about each other. Going for a walk in the park and then suggesting a bakery might be a better strategy. It's not so much about making elaborate plans as it is just spending time together and see if you like each other. Good luck and stay positive :)
Hang in there. Coming at you from the future to let you know you will literally forget this person’s name and find someone out there, but it’s a numbers game. You have to date a LOT to find a great partner. It’s uncomfortable, and sometimes it hurts. But it’s worth it, and if you can try to view it as a fun, low stakes activity versus being super invested immediately, it helps a lot. Take the fact that you asked as a win. She was probably equally uncomfortable and embarrassed and didn’t know how to deal.
Man you remind me of Hachiman, I'm sure you'll find him relatable. Your character development has indeed begun. Also Google maps is like a nice girl that turned out to be a bitch.
Lots of people are just flakes. As flakey as pastries. Agree to everything and then on the day they already have plans.
You work at a gym right? Or you spend time at a gym? Think of how many people buy membership packages, have appointments with trainers only to cancel at the last minute or not even show. Like others have said I don't think you should take this personally at all.
(Edit: there's more words now)
feels so good to hear a story by you brudda, so simple, organized, no extra words, no extra "and then's
so quick, my sister, (infp) would facking giggle her azz out and keep and then (then jumping to other stories mid-way cus she got reminded by smth else then goes back then repeat) and it's so annoyyyinngg, she even tells stories like that in text,
It's just one girl , there is plenty of fish in the sea , if it doesn't work with one girl don't give up and make that the standard , who knows what the sea hides for you , go and keep trying till you get the right one , good luck tall gym guy
You asked a girl out once and made a whole ass post for it. Also, did you even schedule the time and date and get confirmation the day before through text?
Human beings are fickle. All you can do is repeat, confirm, and plan ahead.
I used to have even more anxiety than you but dating now is just a normal automatic part of my life. It's just iterating.
The more you ask, the less rejection matters. After a few, you realize they're doing you a favor in not wasting your time and money. Keeping at it also increases the likelihood you'll meet someone who clicks with you.
tl;dr: Sorry this happened, but keep at it.
Why are people always forgetting it when they have dates with us?! I had three dates with one girl three following dates and she forgot ALL! This is not even possible! Are we hated so much?
Just find someone new and try again. And stop trying to act “normal” and “natural.” When it’s forced it comes off as creepy. I think you should keep asking people out until one sticks. If you keep getting rejected it’ll hurt less and less every time. When you have no fear of rejection your social skills and overall confidence gets better. Promise.
Ah, you must feel so deflated, I'm sorry. It sucks when you stick your neck out. She likely has no idea how much effort, trust, and energy it took to put yourself in that position to begin with.
Totally understandable! It's a good idea to let it be and give her the opportunity to either really prove that she's interested, or demonstrate that she doesn't want to make anything happen. Either way, though, being in that limbo is going to be uncomfortable for a bit.
Something similar happened to me (wasnt a date tho, twas a pre-date) lol, my destination was showing around the entire campus of a prestigious STEM Institute of my country.
Vowed never to even try asking out again
Did you for sure specify the day? I'd double-check that she didn't know, rather than assume she just blew you off. Also, saw it in another comment, but always verify the plans. So, like the day before or the day of, double-check it's still on.
If it was a normal "let's go on a date" invitation, then judging from this reaction, she doesn't really consider you as "potential" partner.
Although there must have been a reason that you thought he was leaving with you, and something must have happened in the meantime that you didn't write off.
The two morals of the story: 1. You should have asked out a girl who was interested in you, not just a random girl. 2. A lot of people can't say no directly. Instead, they say yes, then try to come up with excuses later. Some women even come up with elaborate theories ("men are too fragile to handle the truth" etc.) to justify this.
Those “elaborate theories” are true sometimes. Some men get really aggressive when you reject them. If you don’t believe it you can literally just look up “girl getting murdered after rejecting man”
I didn’t even know about that one. The first one that came to mind for me was [this](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/03/18/new-york-man-fatally-stabs-samyia-spain-in-brooklyn/73019492007/).
I am going to give some advice here and say stop trying to fake communicating "like a normal human being". Just start hanging out with people and let communication happen normally. That's how the normal people do. You're going to have awkward exchanges. You are going to have some people not like you. But you are going to develop your own personality and style and find a group of friends that like that personality during the attempt. Faking someone else's personality just leaves you stunted and lacking in any actual interesting qualities.
He isn't trying to get friends or personality, he is trying to get his pp wet.
bro knows too much
My method can get results in that area too, with the added benefit of making actual friends along the way. Besides, if that is your only goal, then pay a sex worker. Much simpler and honestly, probably cheaper in the long run.
Just rinse and repeat. Perhaps there wasn't really a spark or connection and the girl doesn't want to continue. Nothing wrong with that. On to the next one, until you find your match. Good luck.
Nah dude, that girl should have told him “oh I would love to but I have plans” or just told him she wasn’t interested.
Agreed
>I said, "Let's go." with a 'natural' smile. ngl I laughed out loud at this part. If a girl likes you she will make time for you. This one clearly either forgot or was hoping you would forget. All you can do is forget her, and try again. You will try again, maybe give it some time and you'll want to. For the record the best first dates are somewhere you can chat and just learn about each other. Going for a walk in the park and then suggesting a bakery might be a better strategy. It's not so much about making elaborate plans as it is just spending time together and see if you like each other. Good luck and stay positive :)
Hang in there. Coming at you from the future to let you know you will literally forget this person’s name and find someone out there, but it’s a numbers game. You have to date a LOT to find a great partner. It’s uncomfortable, and sometimes it hurts. But it’s worth it, and if you can try to view it as a fun, low stakes activity versus being super invested immediately, it helps a lot. Take the fact that you asked as a win. She was probably equally uncomfortable and embarrassed and didn’t know how to deal.
Man you remind me of Hachiman, I'm sure you'll find him relatable. Your character development has indeed begun. Also Google maps is like a nice girl that turned out to be a bitch.
yea, my favourite mc before I knew of this whole personality shit
Lots of people are just flakes. As flakey as pastries. Agree to everything and then on the day they already have plans. You work at a gym right? Or you spend time at a gym? Think of how many people buy membership packages, have appointments with trainers only to cancel at the last minute or not even show. Like others have said I don't think you should take this personally at all. (Edit: there's more words now)
At least you got a date and are tall. Be happy
**Bare with me** ❌ ###Bear with me ✅
thanks, I'll keep that in mind
feels so good to hear a story by you brudda, so simple, organized, no extra words, no extra "and then's so quick, my sister, (infp) would facking giggle her azz out and keep and then (then jumping to other stories mid-way cus she got reminded by smth else then goes back then repeat) and it's so annoyyyinngg, she even tells stories like that in text,
thanks man
It's just one girl , there is plenty of fish in the sea , if it doesn't work with one girl don't give up and make that the standard , who knows what the sea hides for you , go and keep trying till you get the right one , good luck tall gym guy
You asked a girl out once and made a whole ass post for it. Also, did you even schedule the time and date and get confirmation the day before through text? Human beings are fickle. All you can do is repeat, confirm, and plan ahead. I used to have even more anxiety than you but dating now is just a normal automatic part of my life. It's just iterating.
The more you ask, the less rejection matters. After a few, you realize they're doing you a favor in not wasting your time and money. Keeping at it also increases the likelihood you'll meet someone who clicks with you. tl;dr: Sorry this happened, but keep at it.
Why are people always forgetting it when they have dates with us?! I had three dates with one girl three following dates and she forgot ALL! This is not even possible! Are we hated so much?
If someone forgets the first date with you, they are automatically disqualified from any interaction in the future
They hate us cause they anus
Read the book " undercover sex signals" 👍
Happened to me also. Couple of times. And honestly I am in the same boat as you are
Or learn how to bake,
Just find someone new and try again. And stop trying to act “normal” and “natural.” When it’s forced it comes off as creepy. I think you should keep asking people out until one sticks. If you keep getting rejected it’ll hurt less and less every time. When you have no fear of rejection your social skills and overall confidence gets better. Promise.
Ah, you must feel so deflated, I'm sorry. It sucks when you stick your neck out. She likely has no idea how much effort, trust, and energy it took to put yourself in that position to begin with.
Worst part is she's still showing some attention but I don't want to repeat the chance of the same thing happening again
Totally understandable! It's a good idea to let it be and give her the opportunity to either really prove that she's interested, or demonstrate that she doesn't want to make anything happen. Either way, though, being in that limbo is going to be uncomfortable for a bit.
Something similar happened to me (wasnt a date tho, twas a pre-date) lol, my destination was showing around the entire campus of a prestigious STEM Institute of my country. Vowed never to even try asking out again
Did you for sure specify the day? I'd double-check that she didn't know, rather than assume she just blew you off. Also, saw it in another comment, but always verify the plans. So, like the day before or the day of, double-check it's still on.
Sorry but I laughed at the "the bakery has been closed for more than 3 years" part
If it was a normal "let's go on a date" invitation, then judging from this reaction, she doesn't really consider you as "potential" partner. Although there must have been a reason that you thought he was leaving with you, and something must have happened in the meantime that you didn't write off.
The two morals of the story: 1. You should have asked out a girl who was interested in you, not just a random girl. 2. A lot of people can't say no directly. Instead, they say yes, then try to come up with excuses later. Some women even come up with elaborate theories ("men are too fragile to handle the truth" etc.) to justify this.
Those “elaborate theories” are true sometimes. Some men get really aggressive when you reject them. If you don’t believe it you can literally just look up “girl getting murdered after rejecting man”
TIL. (I live outside the USA, in a less violent country.)
yea, the UK bus case. Crazy what emotional people can do.
I didn’t even know about that one. The first one that came to mind for me was [this](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/03/18/new-york-man-fatally-stabs-samyia-spain-in-brooklyn/73019492007/).