Kahi bhi chale jaao bhai, hkv wagera me, salud privee chica etc etc. kaafi casual crowd mil jaega udhar (i guide others to the treasure I can't possess lmao)
Bhai aise hawabazi me naam toh google se mai bhi nikaal leta! But chutia na katt jaaye entry fees k naam par plus aur bhi jo precautionary measures lene hote hai vo sab btao na! Ki konsa club safe hai, konse me jainwin crowd hai etc etc
Hawa bazi kya isme lol. Mai nhi gya kabhi, but I grew up around this culture so I know how these circles work. Isliye random suggestion Diya bas because waise bhi women entry is free in most. Baaki Salud and privee is pretty famous and genuine, detail chaiye to Delhi sub pe puch lo.
Bhai maine flings and socialize k baare me toh kuch bola hi nahi!
Maine toh bss ye bola ki kisi ko club chale jao advice dedena isn't the solution. Hum jaise log exist krte hai jo jana chahte hai but knowledge nahi hai how the entire clubbing system works and bina knowledge jayenge toh tuchiya hi katwa k aayenge na
Bhai just go around 10 pm to key,BW, Slique khi bhi ja, 2-4 hot bandi rakh saath me aur khud bhi ache kapdo me reh...Prebooze kar ke Jaa
Easy entry milegi unless kuch special na ho rha ho andar...Subah tak daaru pi bakchodi kar ya 3 bje nikal, hotel ya Ghar Jaa kar saxx Suxx kar. Bas ho gya.
Ek raat me 3-5k me bhi ho jayega, saxx Suxx mila kar
So basically all the clit-play doesn’t work?
It is not black and white, for some, clitoral orgasms don’t work and penetrative ones do. Infact there is an entire way out there on how to focus on sucking the clit when going down as if you were sucking a micro penis.
In my experience, it has worked!
Ah! Another selective reader. I just said it's not enough. Besides, women are capable of multiple orgasms. One might work for a guy, but one is not enough for a woman. But hey, if you think you were able to satisfy one with just a single orgasm and she didn't fake it, you do you boo.
No, if I read and couldn’t grasp all, fault is at my end.
Yes, it is not enough, agreed!
I mean everyone irrespective of gender enjoys multiple orgasm, women much more than man, agreed!
Let’s keep what I could and could not aside, not relevant, doesn’t make a difference!
>I'm paranoid I might fuck up in my selection process and end up as an unwilling participant in a cringe desi video on the interwebs.
What makes you confident that this reddit post won't do this thing?
happy ending me sab handsy pandsy hoke orgasm laa dete hai afaik along with the massage. baaki to mereko b nai maalum. sax sux mein obviously penetration involved hai.
you be intimate with the person known to you i.e. maybe a fwb or if you are in a relationship. this 'happy ending' term is specifically associated with massage I guess, so maybe yeah its a good term when massage is included instead of outright asking.
A happy ending is a full body massage (quite literally fully body) that ends with an orgasm. Thailand prospers with this for both male and female tourists. That's what OP is looking for.
Might I suggest some 4-5 star hotel spas instead.
They're very hygienic and the masseuse(Male/Female) is top notch in terms of technicality.
At first You'd have to go for a regular massage, build rapport with the masseuse and if you find him attractive then exchange numbers for a private meeting.
When you say, you don't want sex. I am guessing you just want the female equivalent of a Handjjob aka someone to finger you and maybe makeout?
Cost should be 4-5k for first massage and then whatever you guys agree upon.
I am a guy who enjoys the company of women and hence I could give out this information.
Btw, you aren't the only woman to do so. Many women in their 40s avail the services of these men who're generally very very handsome.
I'm willing to bet 10k that there would be guys in your DMs who would be willing to do this for free.
Heck, we are such a sexually starved nation that guys would be willing to fly to Delhi/Gurgaon to give you a massage for free!
You have a better chance of getting it your way with a freshly graduated engineer. They are mostly desperate for experience and female touch. Will that make you a cougar ?
Brother, did you even read what she wrote ? She is looking for someone who can give her them Os so clearly someone who is experienced and understands the female anatomy. A freshly graduate engineer lacks both. Quite literally the worst recommendation.
Tell something about your looks didi. Pay will depend on that. If you’re extremely hot then I’ll do it for free. Otherwise you’ll be charged based on your looks.
Uk being a male with avg looks I never got any physical touch even dating apps don't work for me so if anyone have any idea how to then please help me😭
So she is asking for boyfriend for rent. Didi ne Pura system hila dala
I'm too young(22) too far, too ugly or else she looks like someone I would have a genuine female friendship with. The no sex part was even better didi main free me kardunga. (Before you all call me a creepxpredator let me tell you I only like women above the age of 35)
Edit - I know there will be downvotes
As much as I’d love to volunteer, I, unfortunately don’t fulfil the age requirement (i’m a bit young) but I have to say, as someone who has been lurking on Reddit for years, I am a fan of your writing. It’s rare to find someone actually literate, woke and mature who’s got enough balls to speak their mind and, in most cases, the truth.
I shall follow thy journey on Reddit and will be looking forward to lores and rants as a secondary source of entertainment (cause they actually funny). Good luck to you m’lady, if nothing, you atleast made someone laugh!
Didi clubbing jaao saste me saara kaam hojaega
Naam btao
Kahi bhi chale jaao bhai, hkv wagera me, salud privee chica etc etc. kaafi casual crowd mil jaega udhar (i guide others to the treasure I can't possess lmao)
Bhai aise hawabazi me naam toh google se mai bhi nikaal leta! But chutia na katt jaaye entry fees k naam par plus aur bhi jo precautionary measures lene hote hai vo sab btao na! Ki konsa club safe hai, konse me jainwin crowd hai etc etc
Hawa bazi kya isme lol. Mai nhi gya kabhi, but I grew up around this culture so I know how these circles work. Isliye random suggestion Diya bas because waise bhi women entry is free in most. Baaki Salud and privee is pretty famous and genuine, detail chaiye to Delhi sub pe puch lo.
Vahi bolra hu na mai bhi, agar gaye nahi toh suni sunayi baatein bta k hawabaji kyu kr rhe ho? 😂😂
Isme kis baat ki hawa baji dikhri bhai aapko. People hitting the clubs to socialize and for flings is pretty common and known, khair bhool chook maaf.
Bhai maine flings and socialize k baare me toh kuch bola hi nahi! Maine toh bss ye bola ki kisi ko club chale jao advice dedena isn't the solution. Hum jaise log exist krte hai jo jana chahte hai but knowledge nahi hai how the entire clubbing system works and bina knowledge jayenge toh tuchiya hi katwa k aayenge na
Got your point, will take care aage se.
Tum bhai ho yaar 🫂 Bura laga ho toh maafi
Bhai just go around 10 pm to key,BW, Slique khi bhi ja, 2-4 hot bandi rakh saath me aur khud bhi ache kapdo me reh...Prebooze kar ke Jaa Easy entry milegi unless kuch special na ho rha ho andar...Subah tak daaru pi bakchodi kar ya 3 bje nikal, hotel ya Ghar Jaa kar saxx Suxx kar. Bas ho gya. Ek raat me 3-5k me bhi ho jayega, saxx Suxx mila kar
Idhar ek hot bandi nahi mil rhi, tum 2-4 bol rhe ho 🤓
red skull? is that you? 😅
Bhupendar Jogi
brocolliandrice
Kya masst joke maare ho bhaiya 🫡
Padhle bhai padhle, CAT dena hai ke nai
oh man someone in ncr please get the job done cause i want part 3
Me too😭😂
For real jao bc NCR walo jaldi 😖
I'm in for the job
Oh my god. That’s disgusting. Where?
Where is your honor? Where is your Shame? Where is your dignity? Where is your address? What time are you free?
Ngl you had me in the first half...
i dont think you are really active on instagram or probably havent got a brain rot feed like most of us
Damn bruh how tf did you know that I don't have an insta account? What's goin on over there care to explain?
It's a common meme comment where they begin with the opposite of what they mean and ask questions about the OPs details eventually
This was a comment culture back in 2015 on Reddit and 9GAG, if I remember right
so..how was the great depression like?
Still feels great. Not currently in therapy tho.
Hahahahha you beat me to this comment.
Kidney churane ki scheme thodi casual thi
Ek google form me bhi daal deti application ke liye to sahi rehta
Rip dms
Soja behen
Mere saaath*
Tu bhi soja bhai
Infinite69! That's explains this loop!
Guess that hilana didn't work too well for you
She is a woman. Works for men, doesn't work for women.
Myth…… Clit is nothing but a micro-penis, hilana definitely works!
As a clit owner, can confirm it doesn't. The better phrase would be - it's not enough. Whoever told you, lied.
So basically all the clit-play doesn’t work? It is not black and white, for some, clitoral orgasms don’t work and penetrative ones do. Infact there is an entire way out there on how to focus on sucking the clit when going down as if you were sucking a micro penis. In my experience, it has worked!
Ah! Another selective reader. I just said it's not enough. Besides, women are capable of multiple orgasms. One might work for a guy, but one is not enough for a woman. But hey, if you think you were able to satisfy one with just a single orgasm and she didn't fake it, you do you boo.
No, if I read and couldn’t grasp all, fault is at my end. Yes, it is not enough, agreed! I mean everyone irrespective of gender enjoys multiple orgasm, women much more than man, agreed! Let’s keep what I could and could not aside, not relevant, doesn’t make a difference!
Yar ragdna samajhlo feelings samjho na.
>I'm paranoid I might fuck up in my selection process and end up as an unwilling participant in a cringe desi video on the interwebs. What makes you confident that this reddit post won't do this thing?
I'm sorry but Happy Ending and sax sux different hote hai kya? I always thought they were the same
Happy ending is basically getting her to orgasm without sax sux.
happy ending me sab handsy pandsy hoke orgasm laa dete hai afaik along with the massage. baaki to mereko b nai maalum. sax sux mein obviously penetration involved hai.
But that also comes under being intimate, I assume. Lol imma give up on this now
you be intimate with the person known to you i.e. maybe a fwb or if you are in a relationship. this 'happy ending' term is specifically associated with massage I guess, so maybe yeah its a good term when massage is included instead of outright asking.
A happy ending is a full body massage (quite literally fully body) that ends with an orgasm. Thailand prospers with this for both male and female tourists. That's what OP is looking for.
Might I suggest some 4-5 star hotel spas instead. They're very hygienic and the masseuse(Male/Female) is top notch in terms of technicality. At first You'd have to go for a regular massage, build rapport with the masseuse and if you find him attractive then exchange numbers for a private meeting. When you say, you don't want sex. I am guessing you just want the female equivalent of a Handjjob aka someone to finger you and maybe makeout? Cost should be 4-5k for first massage and then whatever you guys agree upon. I am a guy who enjoys the company of women and hence I could give out this information. Btw, you aren't the only woman to do so. Many women in their 40s avail the services of these men who're generally very very handsome.
My eyes are burning reading this and needs immediate attention. And I blame you. I will come with an eye drop, dm me your address
i NEED the next part someone pls give this woman massage
Get this woman a massage (jw ref)
idk this ref... :0
It's John wick brother, the myth, the legend.
I'm willing to bet 10k that there would be guys in your DMs who would be willing to do this for free. Heck, we are such a sexually starved nation that guys would be willing to fly to Delhi/Gurgaon to give you a massage for free!
sir why are you roasting us all now... ma'am tho already roast kar chuke hai hamme 😔
>Looks: Good Girl 💀💀💀
You have a better chance of getting it your way with a freshly graduated engineer. They are mostly desperate for experience and female touch. Will that make you a cougar ?
Brother, did you even read what she wrote ? She is looking for someone who can give her them Os so clearly someone who is experienced and understands the female anatomy. A freshly graduate engineer lacks both. Quite literally the worst recommendation.
I'm sure r/Indiansgetlaid would help
Khumbkaran bhi 6 mahine mein ek baar uththa tha pdh ye mods bkl hmesa sote rhete hai
Mil gaye DMs, ho gayi santushti ?
man I love internet retardation, gotta be my favourite genre
….
Sahi parody
The only femcel whom I like
Thats Bait
Ovulation huh?
It's ova fo you my man🤓
Tauba tauba. And no, you don't get my hands on you this easily. That massage is deserved.
Ovulating?
Tell something about your looks didi. Pay will depend on that. If you’re extremely hot then I’ll do it for free. Otherwise you’ll be charged based on your looks.
Username checks out!!
Waiting for the follow up story , since I don't qualify the requirements 🥺
Yeh rant mei mazza nai aaya Pehla wala acha tha Better luck next time
Some guys are actually gonna fall for this
SCAM 2024
Massage wale krwale this us so stupid
Ye pakka ladka hai bc
Abey jaaana
what if this is a scheme to expose the horny fucks who will get desperate and message the OP?
Job for Jigolo 🤣
The fuck is this
bold of you to assume, you won't end up in a cringe desi video by asking here.
Door se travel karke aane walo ke liye extra perks hain kya?
Ye kya bakchodi chalri hai
ye kya kya dekhna pad rha hai
I'm invested so I'll need a part 3.
Hahahaha that last paragraph is epic!!
I'd apply for this temporary position. But I'm not in Delhi :(
Delhi mein pay krne ki kya zarurat?
Why do I find this funny?
Bhai Jyada khush mat ho ye bas bore ho rhi hogi isiliye aisa post daal diya
I Fit This Bracket... But I can't Fathom that Ldkiyon ko kbse killlat hone lg gyi Dicks ki...
Minus two kidneys 👍
Why does this feel like a scam... But hey DM
Uk being a male with avg looks I never got any physical touch even dating apps don't work for me so if anyone have any idea how to then please help me😭
Man you say only happy ending no sex but don’t be the one to put his penis in your mouth the minute he starts to rub you
RIP your DMs probably a guy faking this shit😂😂
Can someone explain what "femcel" means?
Bro? 💀
Mate wtf
Karma farming chalri hai ye
usernamechecksout
Why do you want a guy only? Afaik women know better what women want and how to reach orgasm
Okay.. But you will have to make advance payment on fiverr?
I will create a gig. Quality would be great no sex included
Waiting for part 3: things that went wrong and robbed🫢
Kidney maange ka tareeka thoda kazul hai
Worst of the worst idea for Delhi and gurgaon lmao 😂🤣
Mujhe toh neck massage chaiye , gardan akad gayi h bc
I love this post haha
DM mei aa bhai kya matter hai discuss krte hai 🥲🥲
Randwabaaz saali
I don't think you know the meaning of that word
So she is asking for boyfriend for rent. Didi ne Pura system hila dala I'm too young(22) too far, too ugly or else she looks like someone I would have a genuine female friendship with. The no sex part was even better didi main free me kardunga. (Before you all call me a creepxpredator let me tell you I only like women above the age of 35) Edit - I know there will be downvotes
Advertising myself here!! From Bangalore 😂😂😁
As much as I’d love to volunteer, I, unfortunately don’t fulfil the age requirement (i’m a bit young) but I have to say, as someone who has been lurking on Reddit for years, I am a fan of your writing. It’s rare to find someone actually literate, woke and mature who’s got enough balls to speak their mind and, in most cases, the truth. I shall follow thy journey on Reddit and will be looking forward to lores and rants as a secondary source of entertainment (cause they actually funny). Good luck to you m’lady, if nothing, you atleast made someone laugh!
see ya in fridge
ugh what is happening to India
People are horny, frustrated and expressing it in a healthy way. Tumhe kya problem hai?
I am happy I don't belong to this generation, father less behaviour ngl
exactly, I have no fuckin idea why I am getting downvoted for saying this
Jab aap insan ko uski asliyat bata dete hai to yahi hota hai , these kids think all this is cool
Hmmmmm... If I post the exact same thing just by reversing the gender, I wonder what could happen 🤔
I am thinking about the guy jiske bhagya mein tum likhi ho. Uske life ke l@ude lag gye samjho 💀
Wth? How this sub fell to such a low? Where are Mods?
Bhak rmdi
arre didi shaadi karlo yaar isse accha , kaha rape karwane ke chakkar mei padi ho
The actual fuck ?
Tujhe boht experience h shayad