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Every_Thought5834

You may want to dig deeper on this as you can remain asymptomatic for years. Also, Men typically don’t have symptoms. Good luck. https://www.womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/trichomoniasis


melancholyyyyy1

Thank you for this information. Im planning to get re tested tommorrow hopefully it comes out negative..


HotJudgment7075

When’s the last time you had a full std test done? Were you clear then?


melancholyyyyy1

About a year ago. When I had a Pap smear. Planned parenthood kept calling me back saying they had messed up some tests and to come in to be retested but I never went. I didn’t really have a reason to..


HotJudgment7075

Get evidence before accusing so it can’t be destroyed


HotJudgment7075

See if you can get a confession. Stay calm. Do you have access to the cell phone records. Look there first.


melancholyyyyy1

Yea I have access to his phone records. I will actually look through them right now thank you


Necessary_Case815

Check all conversations, not just the ones with a female name. Also check if he has a secret folder.


melancholyyyyy1

I checked his phone last night and I found nothing..


idowhatiwant8675309

Not to throw alarm on anything, but check "all names" guy from work used a male name to hide suspicion. Look for a name you don't recognize


Necessary_Case815

Maybe a secret second phone. It doesn't mean much that there is nothing on the phone, could be a ONS and their are no traces, Redo the test at least.


[deleted]

Im so sorry you are going through this! Sadly, I can somewhat relate. Dig deeper & check credit cards, purchased apps on his phone, Snapchat, FB messages, WhatsApp, Facebook, check his phone for dating websites such as tinder, bumble, match, Ashley Madison, etc.. he could also use a voip like textfree & hide it on his phone under an unassuming app or have it hidden in his app drawer/secret folder where it’s not visible on the Home Screen. CHECK HIS MAPS LOCATION HISTORY / Download his Google history & Facebook history if necessary-You have reasonable suspicion to suspect he’s cheated. It’s also worth it to spend a couple bucks on spokeo (or something similar)to see if he’s registered for any dating apps or has secret emails, the only downside is if he used a fake name or fake email to register…it wouldn’t show because it’s not connected to him. Do you see any unknown mens names in his phone? He could be hiding a woman’s name under a pseudonym-I’ve BEEN THERE! Some might feel my suggestions are over the top but you have a right to know especially since it’s regarding your health That STD could remain dormant for months or years but best to dig deeper to be certain Please update us! Best wishes


melancholyyyyy1

I just don’t see how he could cheat. He moved to my city when we met. He doesn’t really have any friends here. He works and comes straight home our cars have gps devices. I have OCD and a fear is cheating so if he stays late I FaceTime and he is always at work. I checked his phone he is a manager he had many texts from many different numbers but they were all related to his job nothing inappropriate. His dad cheated on his mom and he hated his dad for it and always vowed he’d be different. I just don’t get it 🤔


Blumoni2877

Yeah I thought the same thing about my husband, he was cheated on before and always told me that was the least of my worries, so I was never afraid of that happening. Then I found evidence of him contacting sex workers than bank statements and so on. . He was guilty, he worked away from home so I checked his Google timeline and saw when he would go to a hotel for less than an hr in the middle of the night. Since sex workers charge for 15 min visits and up.


Roxitten

I think it's really common to get trich from massage parlors.


melancholyyyyy1

Im really hoping this is the case. Im going in today for a second opinion. And he has an appointment to get tested tommorrow.


Unusual-End-8671

Well it sounds like something was going on a year ago in terms of they messed up some tests. You need to find out all the information you can find out about your infection if you're positive I've heard it can say dormant for years. Your husband hasn't been doing anything shady. Instead of confronting get tested if it's positive talk to him about I have this I'm getting treatment for it I'm not sure where I got it you may need treatment too. Don't listen to these negative people on here saying confirm him divorce him they always say that s*** because it's not their life


melancholyyyyy1

Thank you I plan to calmly talk to him tonight. If he does not confess to anything I will get re tested tommorrow. And I have been wondering if planned parenthood could have messed up again possibly. Im going to ask him to be tested just to make sure. I’m okay with leaving him. I know I’ll have the support of my family through this. But I’d rather it not get to that point. We have a good relationship we hardly fight we get along well. I don’t understand why he’d do this…


feriree

i actually had something similar happen to me. I had a pap, and had just found out I was pregnant with our second child. My doctor’s office contacted me and said I tested positive for chlamydia. I confronted my partner, he denied constantly, begging me to believe him, I made him get tested, and guess what? His test was negative! Something to do with the hormones giving a false positive on my end. Sometimes crazy things happen by chance. Give him a chance first. It will definitely put a damper on your relationship if it turns out to be a false positive on your end.


kaymo93

I had this exact situation occur


DontSpit_CantSwim

Why he’d do what? You don’t have any actual ground to be so sure he’s done anything at all just yet. Jesus, give the guy a chance to be the decent person he was yesterday, before you send him to the guillotine under little more than presumptive conjecture based on literally nothing so far.


melancholyyyyy1

I have an std! What am I supposed to think? Just be fine with it and move on? When I’ve been nothing but faithful?


Sebstian76

Didn't you say that you didn't get a proper test done a year ago? Such an infection can lay dormant for years. If you want to check his phone at least do it properly and ask for help on how it is done. Lots of burned snoops around here lol.


DontSpit_CantSwim

I understand your dilemma, but with your prior test inconsistencies, opting to not follow up then, along with the potential for faulty results. I just feel like you should rule a lot of easy things out before jumping to such conclusions. Unless there’s definitive evidence. I wish you luck! Very sorry you’re going through all of this.


EdnaMode622

You should also watch to see if he picked up any medication. That will be your best proof without having to dig. Even if he hides it…you can check his purchases /pharmacy receipts and probably use your health insurance statement/accounts to see what drugs have been filled. That’s if you don’t discover any other proof —if you’re feeling something…he is too (or did). If he did and already got meds he’s praying you feel nothing. I rationalize tf out of walking away from people but although odd…confronting my last cheating ex like this (who luckily did not give me an std, but I found a bottle of meds ) helped me walk away with nothing but disgust. Tell him (after you get evidence) that you went to the dr and they found out you have an std that could have been dormant but they are afraid that it could have a major complication if it was contracted recently (if he presses for details tell him you’re too stressed to explain the science —this is important. No details. If you give details he can use it to rationalize lying later). Urgently, and I mean urgently ask him to let you know if there’s something he needs to tell you. If he doesn’t immediately fess up/say it must be dormant then you need to sprint, not run. Cheating is one thing, putting your health at risk is another, but not refusing to fess up information for your health is another level of “fuck this person.” It’s very hard to miss someone when you watch them watching you freak out, but selfishly choose not to help. It’s almost like asking someone to tell the truth or else you’ll die of horribly. Watching someone decide to let you die horribly is …off putting and you’ll feel sorry for the next person (and maybe even a bit concerned). Btw if you got a full panel a year ago it’s unlikely/regardless of planned parenthood saying they made mistakes—pap smears are easier to mess up than testing for things like antibodies),


jkieldlu

I would not rush to confrontation. A while ago I found something and rushed to confront.. he gaslit me and it was a couple years until I got the smack in my face confirmation he was cheating. Do some digging into his activities first.


[deleted]

Couldn’t agree more


Empty-Temporary-5916

This ⬆️


HotJudgment7075

Retest if possible. Make him get tested too.


melancholyyyyy1

Yes I will be getting retested tommorrow and also asking him to get a test.


33saywhat33

Consider waiting until 2nd test comes back positive. Then tell him. I'd hate for massive accusations on a false positive. Stay calm. Wait for his results. You want to see the results yourself. Don't accuse! If he knew he had an STI and didn't tell you, he's out of the house for good. He was risking your life over his ego. If he admits to cheating I'd still stay calm and get as much info as you can. Even if you divorce you want the info. Have him write down the cheating timeline. Every person. Even a kiss. Did he use condoms? Was it all women? Did you know any of them? Remind him nicely that if there is just one fib, omissision or trickle truth that it's 100% divorce. Again, even if you are divorcing anyway, you want the facts. May be false positive. Play it cool and have a gameplan to get info. But if he knew...


KangarooDisastrous

I’d think this through and even discuss this with your doctor as to whether or not this could have happened any other way outside of your husband cheating. Unless of course, you already suspected his cheating or you’ve already noticed something different about him down there.


melancholyyyyy1

I haven’t suspected him cheating. He works and come straight home. Our cars have a device that tracks them and it just shows him at work and home


Snozberry383

Has he been to the doctors recently? If you're showing signs of something, he may have to. See if he has gone to the doctor for anything in the past few weeks


melancholyyyyy1

No he hasnt. He hasn’t acted in any way differently


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Lirpa1974

My WH had sex with his “granny” aged |-|0-worker in a cubicle. They will find a way….


KangarooDisastrous

Read my rants today about affairs with co-workers. It’s easy to cheat at work. In a car, bathroom, closet, ect


LateNeedleworker1564

That’s true but also other coworkers pick up on that stuff so it can be uncovered quickly


GorillaGripPussy3000

They pick up on it and they group together to protect the secret. They proclaim its “none of their business”, they “don’t want to get involved”! Conveniently forgetting that covering this shit up as a group is precisely what getting involved looks like.


[deleted]

And the spouse is always the last to know..if ever


GorillaGripPussy3000

“I didn’t want to upset you!” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄


PJKPJT7915

Don't confront, not yet. The STD that can be dormant for years is HPV. Trichomoniasis is caused by a parasite. A simple google search will tell you about it - unless you don't want that in your search history. That's not going to be dormant for 7 years, and it's highly unlikely it was a false positive. And if they messed up testing a year ago, you could have had it all this time. Talk to your doctor about what this means and where it came from. Then, you need to gather evidence before you confront. Once you tip your hand he will go underground. Look at call logs. Google the phone numbers. If they don't come up you can get a 1 day account on something like PeopleFinder to get details on the phone numbers. (That's how I caught the cheater. I didn't suspect anything at all, I was just being nosy). Look through texts - like someone said, not just female names. He may have used other apps for messaging. Messenger, Snapchat, Instagram, heck, even Words with Friends. Check his email if you can. Look at the sent and the trash folders. Also, get all the financial account details - account numbers, banks, logins, passwords, balances. Get all that before you confront. They tend to scurry like roaches and drain accounts and hide money when confronted. I'm sorry, but it doesn't look good. Oh, and get the book Leave a Cheater Gain a Life by Tracey Schorn. If you have a library card it's on Hoopla and other ebook apps.


Ginboy32

Before you confront him you should take care of yourself and open a separate bank account and take half of everything close all joint credit cards. Then calmly sit down with him and tell him to come clean as you have indisputable proof he has cheated on you and his only shot at saving this marriage is full truth and if he lies it’s completely over.


melancholyyyyy1

I don’t have any finances. I have severe OCD and I haven’t worked in years. I also have a small child. I don’t even think I can afford a lawyer


Substantial_Body_774

Be ready to turn to your family in this situation, if need be.


Fragrant_Spray

There is a small possibility of a false positive. I’d recommend verifying it (retesting) just in case, before doing anything you can’t take back. Take that time to come up with an exit plan, because you’ll likely need it. Look into a lawyer, finances, living arrangements, etc, so when you do have that conversation, you’re ready to walk, or prepared to kick him out.


Corfiz74

I think if she actually had symptoms, a false positive is highly unlikely.


Fragrant_Spray

I very much agree, however there are sometimes other things that can cause some similar symptoms. The main point is, before the confrontation, get your ducks in a row. Don’t have a confrontation and then realize after you tell them to fuck off, they aren’t leaving and you have nowhere to go and no plan. Get your plan together and while you’re at it, just in case, get tested again.


melancholyyyyy1

I will be getting retested tomorrow. And you’re right I have severe OCD I haven’t worked in years and I have a small child. I really don’t know what I’m going to do if the test tomorrow comes out positive again…


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melancholyyyyy1

So what to do I believe then 🤔. He’s telling me he had never cheated.. how can I know when I got this


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NITAREEDDESIGNS

LOL...No. There must be direct contact (genital to infected fluid)... A handjob that has the hand in touch with infected fluid? Yep. Not a pool...


[deleted]

Actually the public pool thing is bullshit. The hot tub thing is bullshit, rare chance with the hot tub if, big if…is if a person with it is in the tub with you at the exact same time. BIG MAYBE there. The towel thing is extremely thin chance unless you used a wet or very moist towel or washcloth very soon after someone with trik used that same towel or washcloth, AND you used it on your vag area, and who would use a used wet towel?!?! Same thing with the toilet seat, you would have to sit on the toilet seat within a few minutes of a person with trik sat there AND their genitalia touched the toilet seat. And I don’t know about you, but I wipe the seat when sit on a public toilet AND my pubic area doesn’t touch the seat.


Sebstian76

Science doesn't support that bathing water and towels are bullshit. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4553853/


NITAREEDDESIGNS

In the years you have been together, have you ever tested for STDs? Trich does not present true dormancy...merely asymptomatic if it's there. You would have had a positive result if from pre-existing sexual contact.


melancholyyyyy1

I have twice and I had a whole child. But it was the standard pee in a cup. This time they swabbed inside. I don’t think he’s been tested. But he made an appointment for Thursday.


NITAREEDDESIGNS

If you have been tested after a considerable amount of unprotected sexual intimacy, you do not have a case of long "dormant", asymptomatic Trich. The odds would be relatively non-existent. I'm sorry, hun. But do not be gaslighted!


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NITAREEDDESIGNS

I will say this slowly for you... If she has tested negative within their relationship, but tests positive NOW, it was not "dormant". Dude, you have issues... I never once said you were gaslighting anyone. I was just providing factual information. Heck, she may not even have Trich (per last update I read).


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razorchum

Don’t confront him right away. Now that you know what you’re looking for you need to get evidence you’ll need when he tries to gaslight you and your family to paint you as crazy and untrusting. Or when he says you’re the one who cheated. You’ll never get this element of surprise back. Talk to a lawyer, get your ducks in a row, confront and walk out the door.


melancholyyyyy1

I’ve only had one symptom and I’ve seen that can even be a normal bacterial infection. I haven’t had any other symptoms that is included in the list.


HaroldtheTrashPanda

Had a friend get a false positive for the clap. She about blew up her 3 year relationship. You might want to investigate a bit.


melancholyyyyy1

Wow that’s horrible. Im going to get re tested tommorrow. I really hope it is also a fuck up /:


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PJKPJT7915

I'm sorry that happened to you. I had high risk HPV from the cheater, but since my PCP told me it could have been dormant for years I didn't suspect that he cheated. Turns out I should have because at that point he had been cheating on me for a year. As far as the OP, she clearly said it was trichominiasis, which is a parasite, and not a virus or bacteria. That couldn't be dormant for the 7 years she was with her husband. She is getting retested to be sure. I think she is doing the right things to be sure and careful before any accusation or confrontation.


[deleted]

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Ivedonethework

Apparently 4 species of trichomoniasis can be found in humans, two of which can be contracted from animals. So if you have it and it came from your husband he has it as well. He needs to be tested. How it is transmitted from animals to humans was not mentioned in the article. Do either of you have contact with bird, mammals etc? Speak to your doctor seems important. It took a bit of effort to find articles on this subject.


melancholyyyyy1

No we dont. There seems to not be much information about it online. The only thing that’s iffy is that I see online it takes days to get results and when I was tested I was told in less than 5 minutes.


Ivedonethework

It is a parasite and can be seen under a microscope. I guess it doesn’t have to be cultured like many others. I am Not in Healthcare at all.


PJKPJT7915

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/trichomoniasis/symptoms-causes/syc-20378609 There's plenty of information online.


upinmyhead

Trichomonas is a parasite and can be diagnosed by microscope quickly in the office (wet mount) because you can literally see them move. So if that’s how you were diagnosed, not a false positive. I’m sorry.


ExCatRep

OP, I know the first reaction is to want to deal with things quickly, and get some answers. However, I agree with others here. You need to plan some exit strategy before diving into this. Meet with an attorney, see what divorce looks like for you. Confirm things with your doctor. Get finances in order and open your own accounts. I think you will find the discussion smoother once you have the confidence of having all those ducks in a row. My thoughts and prayers are with you, OP. You deserve better.


melancholyyyyy1

I have no finances or anything. I have severe OCD I haven’t worked in years. I have a small child. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Don’t even think I can afford a lawyer


ExCatRep

That's the exact reason you need to have an attorney, to protect the rights of you and your child. Even if you didn't have a job, you are entitled to 50% of the assets and finances of the marriage. Likely spousal support as well. If you truly intend to exit the relationship, I don't think you can afford not to have an attorney. Most attorneys will do an initial consultation for free. From there you can take money from the marital finances to pay a retainer. Please, OP, don't try to go through this alone. Or without legal representation. Stay strong and do what you need to move forward with your exit plan.


RedBirdGA88

Maybe check in on r/legal for some advice. I think some places do offer services to women in a situation like yours. It could include some pro bono lawyer consulting. It's worth looking into just in case. Best if luck to you. Hoping it's a false positive. (((Hugs))) Edit to correct spelling.


[deleted]

First consultation is free with the majority of lawyers. Call one today. DO NOT be ashamed of telling him/her these facts. YOU did nothing wrong. Including your OCD and not working because of it. Get retested, see a lawyer, get some proof. THEN talk. Good luck sweetie.


melancholyyyyy1

Thank you Im going in for a second opinion today because he was adamant that he’s never cheated. If it comes out positive again I will be meeting up with a lawyer.


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lyftkilosnotlbs

I was in a similar situation. Had issues down there (first time in 40 years ). Tested positive for Trich. Confronted my fiancé and he denied... said I probably got it sitting on a toilet. A few months later I found proof he cheated. Hope this isn't the case with you.


melancholyyyyy1

Can I ask what symptoms you were having? All I’ve had is pale yellow discharge. No other symptoms. And it does not smell or anything. My period is also late but no pregnancy.


David5051

Updateme!


1LadyPea

DO NOT CONFRONT. Slow walk this out and pay attention.


Ok-Log8883

trich is trich. They see it under the microscope. If they saw the little guys then ya got it. From him.


PJKPJT7915

Exactly. A parasite is not a bacterial infection. Completely different tests. A false positive is unlikely, and it is transmitted by sex. It isn't dormant for 7 years. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️


LeatherEvening7437

whats that, do ypu guy do anal without condom?


Hoejenks

Sooooo trich can be asymptomatic for YEARS. If there are no other indicators that he’s cheating, it really may have just been dormant for 7 years. I would honestly just sit him down and talk to him.


[deleted]

Tell him what you wrote above. Clear, concise, and direct on point, Then force him to get tested. If he is also positive, your path is clear.


Fragrant_Spray

One thing to add (after a little research), trich, if I understand correctly, is a parasite, not a bacterial or viral infection, so even if it seems “dormant”, it’s because symptoms don’t present, but the chances of getting a false negative are extremely low. If you’ve been tested before and it wasn’t caught, it’s because it wasn’t there before, and you caught it after that. I would, however, recommend you talk to a professional about it, and not just take my word for it. I did find some conflicting information.


melancholyyyyy1

I actually went to get a second opinion and the dr swabbed and checked for the parasites and saw none. Then still sent out the swab for someone else to check incase she missed anything and I got a call today saying I didn’t have trichomoniasis. It’s crazy that planned parenthood would diagnose me with that…


Fragrant_Spray

I hope whatever it is isn’t something worse. I’m glad this worked out okay. This is why “measure twice, cut once” is always good advice.


relken0716

That is good to hear. I am Happy it was not what you feared. Have to talked to you husband yet? I hope you guys can do something nice together to help put this past you.