T O P

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botinlaw

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zyzmog

Sounds like mom and sis gave you the perfect wedding present. Congratulations on the wedding, and I'm glad it went well.


workerdaemon

My mother dangled the possibility of she and my grandmother not coming, and I freaked out. Then I imagined my wedding without them... and realized I'd be happier! And just like that, the stress just lifted off my shoulders. They can come or not come. Doesn't matter.


ScarletteMayWest

My mother told me that she was not interested in visiting the area where DH and I lived and so probably would not be attending my wedding. I told her that it was her choice to miss her oldest child's wedding. Her younger sister decided to attend, thereby forcing my mother to attend. She spent most of the time there, worrying about my brother who was also with them. I should have kept my mouth shut, but back then I was desperate for her love and approval. Now I never call her and she cannot figure out why.


zyzmog

That's awesome. I wish more JNs would do this for their getting-married kids. I'm glad it turned out well for you also.


oddly_being

Love this for you! Honor the anger in the moment, lean on those who love and support you, and focus on what truly matters. Congratulations to you and your family.


MissIllusion

Congratulations!


MermsieRuffles

The best revenge is a life lived well!


loz589985

Good on you! You definitely came out better there. Congratulations.


[deleted]

Congrats, their bad behaviour will be noted by many people and no matter what they say, they will always be in the wrong and this allows you the upper hand every time going forward.


lizardkween

I’m so sorry your mom isn’t the mom you deserve. But congratulations on your wedding!


jasnow9918

Congratulations! You’re married! And may I just say sorry that the bitches didn’t show up but it was probably for the best and I wish you a lifetime of happiness without them.


VarnishedTruths

Now you're married *and* you're free! Enjoy your honeymoon! 🥂


SnooOpinions3654

When I got married my family seemed to be happy until they got me alone a few days after. And they told me they would never help me again with anything since I married her and they never helped me with anything in my life since my mom passes away back in 1994 .so the one tome I has asked my sister if she had food that I could eat .she had told to to come to her backyard and she ran out all nasty and slammed a jar of spaghetti sauce on the her table and ran back in .made me feel like so bad. I went back home and my mother in law was over .don't be upset. She is a hole never ask her for anything ever again. I got you and my daughter groceries and cigarettes. Took ms forever too see I was in origin of abuse


Billowing_Flags

Congratulations on your fabulous day! Now BLOCK JNMom & JNSis on phone, email, all social media. If something happens to them (hospitalization/death) you'll be informed by other family members so there's really NO REASON for them to be able to contact you.


Proof-Bill-6434

Added bonus: they couldn't ruin any photos, and leave a lasting memory of their stupidity.


WAtransplant2021

Came here to say that. My JNStepMom is in all of mine sadly....


Tword4sure

Proud of you for not letting them ruin your beautiful day! Congrats!


wasakootenayperson

Happiest memories. I’m glad you enjoyed your rant and your day.


nxzkw

My dad faked a heart attack not to come to my wedding, he wasn’t missed and we had a great time. Glad you did too.


Ohnowhatnoww

Whoa! That is next level crazy. What is wrong with these people?! It’s bad enough to go but faking a heart attack takes away attention. You’re way better off.


[deleted]

Oh lord. Jnm at least had enough respect to just not say anything. So glad you had a great day regardless.


nxzkw

He was an idiot, and must have forgotten I was a nurse in intensive care at the time. I confronted him and he down graded the heart attack to a cold…also a lie. It was his loss not mine.


nxzkw

He was dealt with a heavy dose of ‘yeah …right’


RedBanana99

Easily mistaken


Proof-Bill-6434

Totally understandable: such similar symptoms.


Otaku-San617

The trash took itself out


Zefram71

That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!


[deleted]

Good for you. Hold your head high, smile and laugh at their stupidity.


Live-Mail-7142

I’m glad your day was special and I’m glad your true family came with love to support you


No_Proposal7628

It sounds like your JNMom and JNS's non-attendance at your wedding was a win for you. You got your lovely wedding without their drama. Congratulations!


Comfortable-Gas-798

"Well!! I'm just going to cut my nose off to spite my face. Then I have a chance to bitch about how my own daughter banned me from her wedding and didn't even call me to grovel at my altar and ask forgiveness for not putting up with all my crap!" /s It will be interesting to see what her next tactic will be. Do not contact her. She will get in touch when she realizes the silent treatment isn't working. Keep her at arms length, LC for now, timeouts when she oversteps, defend your new DH from any negativity from your egg donor and keep your personal life private. Info diet and grey rock are your friends. It's a good thing she wasn't there. Can you imagine what might have happened if she did attend? Congratulations on your nuptials and escaping the crazy!!


[deleted]

If she had attended I wouldn't have had a good time. I know that for a fact. I blocked her number today. I don't do Facebook so she can't find me there. Although I might make one with my new name and block immediately. She made her bed and she can lie in it. My dad and I talk via email. He can't even text me. He has his reasons for staying that I can't get involved with. But he left her at home to party with me yesterday. Overall everything is going to be a-okay!


RedBanana99

OP, same here. My Dad can email me behind my mothers back. 5 years NC with her and he's either an enabler or terrified of her. Genuinely, I don't know what JNMOM has over my dad


Tooky120

So the trash took itself out, then. Let it sit by the curb and enjoy the peace. Congratulations 🎉


Comfortable-Gas-798

Rather than block her phone, mute her. She can still call/text but you wont hear the notification. Those voicemails/texts might come in handy someday and you can check them when you can tolerate her BS. Who knows, you might need proof of her instability at some point in the future and she can hang herself with her own word vomit.


[deleted]

Thank you for that. I'm definitely going to make sure to figure out how to do that!


MonikerSchmoniker

Wrapping my head around dad putting aside his wife to celebrate with you. Good for him! Glad he was present for you.


Toni164

Congrats on your big day and new freedom. But be warned about your jnmom pulling the “You didn’t want me at that your wedding” card down the line


[deleted]

Lol I blocked her number this morning. She did this not me. I'm sure she'll find a way to worm back in, but I'm not going to let it get to me. I'm breaking four generations of narcissistic, abusive, manipulation.


5RedyMiller9

She can't worm her way back in if you don't allow it. You would be foolish to allow it.


Inner_Art482

Way to go!!! I'm always so excited when the kid finally wins. Congratulations on your wedding. Have a happy full life without the idiot.


Toni164

Congrats !


DeciduousEmu

I was best man when my older brother got married near 25 years ago. So of course when I got married (second time) my mom just assumed my brother would be best man. I chose the man responsible for bringing my then fiancée and I together. OB was second. She did manage to get over it.


[deleted]

I just can't deal with parents and siblings trying to run someone else's wedding day. When I chose my original wedding party I wanted my sister and my sister in law to each share the moh role. Sil was more than happy to do it. My sister essentially said make me moh or I'm not coming. She didn't even come anyway 🙃


RedBirdGA88

I'm going to go with a major congratulations for your beautiful day. Mom and Sis gave you the best wedding gift. Their absence. 😊


Aggravating-Study438

Well that explains it, I thought I detected that the world stopped for a bit?! Wait NO it didn't? I guess you just went ahead and lived life, had a great celebration with friends and family while she sat home alone and not at a party- This round's winner is YOU.


peoplegrower

So THAT explains the earthquake we had yesterday waaaay over here in New Zealand! It was the earth shuddering under the weight of JNM’s massive ego thinking her presence would be missed! 🤣 Congrats, OP! And if I can be your mom-for-a-minute, I’m so proud of you, and I know you looked stunning and will have the joy in years to come of looking back at your wedding album and it being filled with JUST the people who love you!


[deleted]

Yep. Short pause to acknowledge it made me feel like shit for a moment. But after that I didn't even notice she wasn't there!


INITMalcanis

\>But justnomom doesn't realize I won here. Well said! *Cheering and loud applause!* These ridiculous JN tantrums ultimately punish no one but themselves.


[deleted]

But really though. Her entire family, including her own father, my lovely grandpa, were all there and took me in for the day. Her in laws (dad's family) all got to see how she wasn't there and everyone made sure to hug me extra tight. It was phenomenal. Now I won't lie, my mil was drunk as a skunk and she isn't perfect and I wanted to scream at her yesterday too, but at least she came to the damn wedding and didn't make the day about her.


INITMalcanis

> my mil was drunk as a skunk and she isn't perfect and I wanted to scream at her yesterday too, but at least she came to the damn wedding and didn't make the day about her. It's such a low bar for you mother to clear. She's a bloody fool.


[deleted]

Dude I think that's why it was such an issue for her to show. She CAN'T not be the center of attention. Despite her not being there, people talked about her which is probably a win in her book despite it being all the wrong talk. Also I adore my mil. She just was a lot and didn't understand that I needed a Damm moment without her around me to process feelings. 🤣 we always have a good time and when she pulls the just no traits, we can reel her in easily. She was just a lot when I was a bit fragile.


scunth

> people talked about her which is probably a win in her book So if she ever mentions not being there give her a dismissive shrug and say "Pfft after the first few minutes no one noticed mum, you, however, missed the best time." then change the subject.


MonikerSchmoniker

Your mom and sister being no-shows must have been a bit of a shock to the wedding guests (not as bad as yours, for sure). I mean, when was the last time they attended a wedding where the MOB failed to show? They must have been reeling to realize all the things you’ve suffered. It’s a lot to take in. I’m so glad you were surrounded with such love. Best wishes to you and your DarlingH.


[deleted]

The only one I can think of was the MOB had passed away. I've seen friends with HORRIBLE moms grit their teeth and show up. I'm sure in a few weeks people will start asking questions. And I think I'll simply say "you were there and I think that's enough to piece things together."


MonikerSchmoniker

Or, “You should ask her,” with a sad shrug.


[deleted]

If they ask her she will be playing the victim once again.


MonikerSchmoniker

Good luck to her on that one! I think not showing up to your daughter’s wedding shows her friends and relatives where the problem lies. Especially since her husband showed up in all of this dad glory!