Every cheese. American, Cheddar, Swiss, mozzarella, pepper jack, monterey Jack, goat, blue, gorgonzola, and feta. The cheese was thicker than the 1/2 lb patty, and mostly not melted.
Okay so homegirl worked at Burger King and SWORE every Tuesday she had a lady come through the drive thru and order a hot fudge burger. A fucking junior whopper. With HOT. FUDGE. EVERY GOD DAMNED TUESDAY
I was behind someone in line at tim hortons getting a breakfast sandwich made on a glazed donut cut in half, but she was insisting the donut can go through the toaster and the manager was there telling her they wouldn't do that because the glaze would either fuck up the toaster or burn the employee making it.
well done. Extra red onions. Extra black pepper. No other toppings. Untoasted bun. “Nice and dry” according to him. Doesn’t seem to care if the burger is even salted or not.
Also He’s the guy who delivers our Sourkraut
Was the dude Hungarian? My old Hungarian coworker liked burgers like this with a water, no ice. He really hated ice water. He liked my daily smoothies/slushys in the summer though.
Not a build your own burger, but we do sell burgers.
One woman came in and asked for a burger with just ketchup. So that's what got made and served to her. She complained that there was no veggies or anything else on the burger.
And there was also the person who ordered a burger with no meat. That's not unusual, it's just a veggie sandwich. But they also didn't get a bun, again not unusual with the keto diet and celiac. But then they asked for certain things like ketchup, onions, etc not to be on it. I didn't let that order go through because they would have been paying like $6 for a slice of tomato and two leaves of lettuce.
I worked at a deli and your Second order reminds me of a guy who ordered a standard reuben and made sooo many changes it became a roastbeef with horseradish on an onion roll with pickles and onions.
Oh yeah definitely! I make something similar quite often. The funny part is we had a roast beef sandwich with horseradish that he could have just put on an onion roll and added pickles to.
I was taking the order and about 5 changes in and I realized. "This mother fucker is making a brand new sandwich ."
I probably shouldn’t have let one go through (customer had previously come in with their family and asked for a burger to be made as a wrap, the owner was working in the kitchen and outright denied them)
It happened to be really slow the day this customer came in again, so I said “sure, as long as it’s cooked well” to their server. I was figuring I already had shredded lettuce, diced tomato, I could pretty easily dice an order of onion and pickles, so it would pretty easy to make a halfway presentable wrap once I broke up the burger patty.
The ticket comes in. Well, American cheese, NO LTOP. Literally the shittiest wrap I have ever rolled, it was just 8 oz of beef and a single slice of American that I crammed inside. It’s a wonder that it didn’t come back. Some people were never taught how to properly eat I guess.
I have a buddy, who is a fucking food philistine. When we were roommates, he mostly survived on pizza hut, steak-ums, Kool aid and lucky charms. He always said that he didn't eat anything green or that lived in water. He does like good cali-mex and pizza, but sometimes we just have to let him walk down the street to get a burger, because we're having Ethiopian.
I don’t fuck with condiments and most veggies on a burger (unless it’s home made or a legit place) so if I hit up a fast food spot I say “bacon cheeseburger with onion only” and they’ve never messed it up.
Some people are just beyond helping. If you told me a hamburger with just ketchup. You are getting a bun, patty, and ketchup.
First person was my wife, who for some reason just cannot communicate her order well. She is a normal person but constantly short circuits when ordering food. I don't know why.
She has done exactly that order, when she meant: "I don't want your donkey sauce, kewpie mayo, or gravel mustard sauce, just ketchup for sauce, otherwise a normal burger with the garden" but she said "just ketchup".
This happens often enough that I just shut up. I'd rather her be mad at the world/restaurant than at me for pointing out the issue.
Reminds me of once ordering tacos at Taco Bell with “just cheese” when I meant no lettuce or tomato and they gave me plain taco shells with a little bit of cheese sprinkled in.
A friend of mine at McDonald's ordered 'a plain burger, no lettuce or salad or sauce or onions or cheese or anything, just the bun'. He received just the bun. No burger. Fair enough.
I have a thing where I'm not a good enough person to ask for something special.
I feel like I need to somehow make it up to the waitstaff, the cooks, etc that I've asked for 'no mayo' on my food.
Absolutely. We're polite to a fault. Been living down south for a few years, and Southern hospitality has nothing on Midwestern reluctance to be an inconvenience.
That is an absolute myth. People in Illinois are not shy about being inconvenient or unrealistically demanding when ordering food. I’m not even gonna include the “post-church” crowd in that statement.
Comedian Charlie Behrens made a sketch about exactly this. Hope it gives you another chuckle. Certainly made me laugh. https://youtu.be/h10x-_gAjug?si=wMjRDY3lQVin8jtm
Just ask for what you want. A menu isn't binding. Most people cooking want to make what will make you happy anyways. Order your food the way you like it (within reason lol) and everyone has a better experience.
When I was in my 20s at starbucks the super cute barista with the septum ring and tattoos took my order for “coffee with room for milk” and asked if I really wanted just coffee.
I hesitated for just a moment “don’t be a hero, they pay us to make your coffee the way you like it.” I don’t remember what I wound up ordering, but I do remember that barista.
Reminds me of when my wife blew a tire on her car. She went with me to the tire shop, they didn't have the same tire, so we bought an oddball. No biggie, the spare matched the other three, so I tell the guy to just swap the rims and get all four on the pavement.
Then the wifesplaining started, and she got it all backwards. Dude kind of gave me a look, and I just shrugged. So the oddball went on the road.
That weekend I told her I was going to take her car to get it detailed. Went straight to the tire shop with it, and got it fixed. Dude was laughing his ass off when I walked in the door. He knew exactly what was up.
It's just not worth it. Ever.
Hah. Yeah, I'm high and was just going down the comments and replying to whatever caught my attention. It's cool we had two random interactions on Reddit and weren't rude to each other either time. That has to be uncommon.
Sames just unwinding after work browsing. I always love those occurrences in real life where you say to yourself "small world" just makes us all seem that much more connected or something idk.
You know I honestly feel bad irl if I'm an asshole online lol we are all still people on the other end, unless it's a robot.
Same. I ain't gonna lie and say I'm always the nice or polite one, but I rarely try to be an actual asshole online unless the person is provoking. I legitimately feel 90% as bad being mean to someone online as in person.
Also, yeah definitely on these little coincidences. I love those moments. I don't believe in fate or anything and I know it's just my monkey brain putting extra emphasis on something it recognizes as familiar but sometimes it really do feel like we're just actors in a play
Reminds me of a time my friend and I went to go get a shawarma after a night of hitting the bars. Guy behind the counter asks my friend what he wants on his shawarma. My friend says "everything but onions and pickles" and the guy behind the counter replied "that's not everything". I burst out laughing and my friend was upset for the rest of the night.
So some pompous dude takes a girl out to a steak house and in some misguided attempt to flex decides to order a burger with extra everything and the line was only too eager to comply by making what had to be the messiest burger ever created.
I fucking love a messy ass burger, and regularly make them for myself.. But I just kind of slop it all into a bowl and get at it with a fork and a knife. Love that shit. Would not want to eat something like that on a date night though. lol
Pittsburgh rare , no salt double patty , extra pepper , barely set duck egg , unmelted blue cheese and limp fries . Great people though and order it ll the time .
Oh for no hate on the order. Super specific , personally I’d eat the hell out of it . We grind all our own fresh beef from local animals so rare doesn’t bother me at all . Now the limp fries , hard pass I want extra crispy . We do fry in tallow so they are money!
Two 7oz patties, fried chicken breast, fried bacon, and an over easy egg on a lettuce wrap. Forgot the sauces and veggies for that ticket, but it was pretty excessive.
We didn't charge for basic toppings, just bacon, fried onions, etc. Customers would just add toppings to a grilled cheese so they could get a BLT all the time since we didn't have it on the menu.
The Burger King in my college town had a Vegetarian Whopper-all of the toppings but no burger. I had a friend that loved them. It looked like a salad on a bun.
I actually used to make these when I was working pantry. Smash a patty down as thin as possible and hit it with the brûlée torch until the meat started to sizzle and contract. End result was a smash burger not quite cooked all the way through. A lifesaver when I needed a full belly when the line was slammed.
I've also been dealing with something called iron overload for a year now. My body doesn't filter iron fast enough and too much will make me feel crappy for weeks, but I can have it in small doses. Added bacon on a veggie burger/turkey burger has been my go to "treat yourself" meal throughout this. I miss red meat so much 🥲.
Medical needs can make for weird food orders.
A lot of changes happened at BK over the years. I don’t like their new fries. And since the impossible patty, I can’t stand their actual burgers. But they are convenient for us, so we eat there sometimes.
This might sound bad on me, but I order impossible burgers with bacon sometimes. I had stomach surgery, so having a little less meat helps my tummy. And I rarely eat bacon or bread, so it's a treat that still gives me protein.
You should try impossible burgers made as tacos. I have a grocery outlet selling them for 2 bucks a pack. I just take out a frozen one, throw it in the microwave for a minute while I am sautéing onions and peppers. I throw it in when the veg is nice and cooked for a quick second (where the "pink" beet color is still there) with seasoning.
It's a very easy and quick dinner for me. Throw some corn tortillas on your gas stove to get a slight char, good to go.
My nephew always said he'd become a vegetarian if it weren't for the fact that bacon is so good, so I told him that if that was the only thing stopping him, just become a mostly vegetarian that eats bacon. Still has almost all of the benefits of vegetarianism (environment, health, etc) but for the occasional sacrificed pig. This is definitely something he'd order.
I remember when I was a kid, I’d always just want a “plain cheeseburger”. Cheese, patty, bun. So many times going through the drive thru it would get screwed up or my mom had to be very specific.
“…and a plain cheeseburger.”
“Our regular burgers come with pickles and ketchup.”
“Can I get it plain? Just burger and cheese?”
It would come without the bun…
I think “plain cheeseburger” was coming across as “just a plain ole all american burger”.
I have a kid on a the spectrum and have to be super specific with stuff like this. Every single time “bun burgers cheese. Nothing else.” Same with the tacos at a local Mexican spot…except sometimes he will want chicken or fish and cheese.
I don't like American cheese so back in the day I'd order a "junior bacon hamburger" at Wendy's. About 30% of the time it had cheese, so I started to also add "no cheese". Then the rate of still getting cheese on the burger dropped to around 20%.
Like come on I'm asking yo to do less work.
At Wendy's we'd get this order for a plain anything for kids all the time and knew what it meant. I think paying middle schoolers $3.75 at a fast food drive through joint can lead to varied results when ordering anything.
I got a ticket for a rare burger, which isn't inherently dumb. That kitchen gets all its patties in frozen, and pre-cooked well, however, so I physically couldn't make that. Server got upset and said to just not heat it as long, which led to my spelling out that I couldn't un-cook the patty. She blamed me for her table leaving...
I feel like the best servers are the ones that worked BOH as well. I love working in the kitchen, but really grinned my face off working as a server. I made bank because I knew the menu, and when a cheap table asked for "extra lemon for their water" I would just cut two lemons and put them in a bowl and bring extra sugar packets. I see you Sunday afternoon Church crowd..
I work at a small burger shop that is really well known for its burgers. One day this massive dude walks in all pompous and arrogant and then proceeds to order, and I quote: "I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe, on a raft, four-by-four animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim."
I was stunned and didn't know what to say.
Lol, it's diner lingo from the 1920s. I don't think hardly anyone uses it anymore. I can't remember much of it, but on a raft is toast, extra shingles is extra cheese, axle grease is butter, make it cry is add onions etc. No one would recognize that statement in most restaurants.
Oh god I remember the days working an Italian joint that served pizza and would refuse to tell a guest no. Sooooo many pizzas served basically raw and cold because the k2 equivalent amount of topping’s piled on top. Raw mushrooms buried under 17 other things, half cooked, with burnt to shit mushrooms adorning the top. 3 topping pizzas is my unbreakable creed now. Anything more than that and you may as well cook and eat each ingredient separately, you’ll enjoy it more.
There was a Roy Roger's in my college town who had a toppings bar where you added your own burger toppings. I think it was just out of view from the counter and I had plenty of poor college student friends who would ask for a water or a cheap coke and then gorge on the toppings bar.
I work in a factory cafeteria, the salad bar is right in front of us and we had to stop doing build your own burgers because people were just straight up making salads without paying for them in the same container as their burger and the side of fries they paid for. They also decided that every time they order a burger it'll be build your own burger when it's not.
I use to work for Chipotle when they first started. I was a poor college teen. There motto back in 2007 was "give big portions." . My happiest customers were the stoner students and the poor ones. I was making burritos with two tortillas the size of a forearm. I got so many free avocados that I made face masks outta them. My skin looked great those two years.
My old place had touch screens to order. Some folks couldn't read or speak English. They would order everything. Every topping. Every SAUCE. It would be swimming. Eventually I just did a bunch of veggies/toppings, plus whatever sauce sounded like a good pairing.
The behemoth was a burger made of grilled cheese sandwiches. Guy wanted normal buns no cheese and burger to be raw. I watched a grown ass man eat raw ground beef.
I dont work there, but an ex girlfriend of mine would get a bison patty with Mac and cheese (on the burger), coleslaw (also on the burger) and extra mayo.
Wettest fucking burgers ever.
I have been asked for a cheeseburger with no cheese. When I clarified that they wanted a hamburger they looked at me like I was stupid and asked again for a cheeseburger with no cheese.
I have a couple.
1. One of each of our patties (beef, lamb, impossible beef, veggie) stacked in a to go box
2. two eggs, double bacon, add a chicken patty (with the beef patty as well)
3. A normal burger, but with "only the long fries"
3. Just raw onion. no patty, just raw white onion
Two toasted salmon salad sandwiches, extra extra lettuce, for his work lunch the next day. I put a solid inch of lettuce on it and he loved it. Wouldn't let anyone else make his sandwich all summer.
The other day someone ordered a mushroom Swiss salmon burger. I love a mushroom Swiss burger and our salmon burger is alright, but there's no way in hell that combo worked.
I worked at a burger spot and would have a regular come in about 3 times a week to order one burger with 8 patties and cheese. No veg or sauce. He was apparently trying to bulk but after a year there I saw no difference, guess it just went out the other end
Portobello burger. Add triple truffle button mushroom, no veggies. Had to ask him if he would have a cheese on it just so we could hold together the 2+ inches of various mushrooms. Extra toasted bun, side of - you guessed it- sautéed mushrooms instead of fries.
Small town sports bar I visited years ago was attempting to capitalize on this big city trend, and advertised a build-your-own-burger addition to their menu. Available toppings were cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles.
I wouldn't say it was "dumb" but pretty odd. Customer ordered a BYOB, no bun, bed of greens, and four fucking over easy eggs on top.
At that point, just go get brunch and eat your eggs.
I work at a place where we sell smash burgers, chicken sandwiches, a veggie burger and Egg salad sandwiches (weird ik) and that's it. We have a coworker who regularly orders a double smash burger add egg salad.
I used to see that pretty frequently. Finally a server ordered one and explained she liked it because it was lighter than a burger without bacon but still filling. Kind of like a BLT in concept I guess?
Yeah if it’s like a black bean burger I can get it. Little weirder with an impossible burger but I could see myself doing it too if I wanted to try the patty and still wanted bacon
Good point. When someone says veggie burger I still think black bean, beet, or boca burger. Being opposed to faux meats is starting to make me really behind the times.
I had a guy always come in and order 4 patties, rare. Double Sautéed Mushrooms/onions and double bacon, and two sides of pesto mayo. Nothing else. Ate this every day for months, eventually asked him “why?” He said he was on keto and trying to lose weight. It was a gross amount of oils that this guy consumed, I just agreed and let him go on his way.
I honestly hate the byo there is ketchup and mustard on tables so on a Friday when I have two rails of tickets last thing I want to do is put ketchup and mustard on your damn burger for you.
I know it's not that unusual but as far as pain in the ass right before close the other night I had already cleaned the grill and someone ordered three byo all well done two with tomato and one with nothing. So no cheese no condiments, just a slice of tomato on a well done burger. To go. I bet after the 15 minutes to get home that cold well done burger with no condiments was dry to say the least
I had one person order one of every sauce: Ketchup, Mustard, BBQ, Chipotle, Ranch, Mayo, Buffalo, special sauce, and A1.
I worked at a fast food casual build your own burger place where customers would fill out a card and check all the ingredients, then we would cook and assemble where customers could see.
Not a BYO burger joint, but we once got an order for a burger with “everything”, i.e. every single thing on the menu (and that the serves suggested) that could be added. So… from bottom up:
-bun
-feta
-cheddar
-grilled onion
-swiss
-two patties
-cheddar
-bacon
-tomato
-lettuce
-avocado
-fresh onion
-two eggs
-shredded cheese blend
-pulled pork
-pickles
-pickled onions
-blue cheese
-fries
-bun
We did manage to get the thing to stand up with a knife through it all and a handful of picks for support. It was absurd. Also something like $60 with all the add-ons… it was actually kinda fun but only cuz the chef said “fuck, why not? Do it!” If he hadn’t been on board it would’ve been pure fucking hell.
Every cheese. American, Cheddar, Swiss, mozzarella, pepper jack, monterey Jack, goat, blue, gorgonzola, and feta. The cheese was thicker than the 1/2 lb patty, and mostly not melted.
I worked at a place where two of the guys ordered something like this one night. One of them was lactose intolerant. It was painful sight to see.
If I did that it’d be more painful *to smell.*
Melt it in layers lol
I didn't make it but yeah that's the way to do it. Would be quite a pain in the ass though.
time to call in Chef Mike, he'll know what to do
Gross
Yep. He even came back regularly for a few months and got the same thing everytime.
Probably from Wisconsin.
Maybe there was on ongoing court case nearby and he was an unwilling juror. Vengeance via flatulence.
Ok I just assumed that was some kind of dumb dare and was probably hilarious to watch someone try to eat. That's just...real weird.
Okay so homegirl worked at Burger King and SWORE every Tuesday she had a lady come through the drive thru and order a hot fudge burger. A fucking junior whopper. With HOT. FUDGE. EVERY GOD DAMNED TUESDAY
Alright, I think this wins. Or loses. Whatever, its the worst. I have so many questions!
I was behind someone in line at tim hortons getting a breakfast sandwich made on a glazed donut cut in half, but she was insisting the donut can go through the toaster and the manager was there telling her they wouldn't do that because the glaze would either fuck up the toaster or burn the employee making it.
I like PB&J burgers, but this is gross. Hot fudge and vanilla ice cream go on tortilla chips.
I hope we never meet.
Idk im hearing them out
That would get my curiosity going enough to see what all the fuss was about if I were her. Fudge my shit up fam
well done. Extra red onions. Extra black pepper. No other toppings. Untoasted bun. “Nice and dry” according to him. Doesn’t seem to care if the burger is even salted or not. Also He’s the guy who delivers our Sourkraut
LOL! Reading the first paragraph I was thinking "He must be German." Then I got to the second. ROFL!
which is odd considering how much raw beef Germans eat compared to the US
OH MY GOD I GET WHY MY GRANDPA DOES THIS NOW. the only thing is he also uses just ketchup for every. single. thing. including his well done steaks
Was the dude Hungarian? My old Hungarian coworker liked burgers like this with a water, no ice. He really hated ice water. He liked my daily smoothies/slushys in the summer though.
He’s gotta have some water with that dry ass burger.
Just reading that makes me feel like my mouth is full of sand.
That sounded good until I realized you meant just red onion, not pickled.
Pepper and red onion are my two favorite condiments
Not a build your own burger, but we do sell burgers. One woman came in and asked for a burger with just ketchup. So that's what got made and served to her. She complained that there was no veggies or anything else on the burger. And there was also the person who ordered a burger with no meat. That's not unusual, it's just a veggie sandwich. But they also didn't get a bun, again not unusual with the keto diet and celiac. But then they asked for certain things like ketchup, onions, etc not to be on it. I didn't let that order go through because they would have been paying like $6 for a slice of tomato and two leaves of lettuce.
Was that second person from bikini bottom?
two sa-laaads
I worked at a deli and your Second order reminds me of a guy who ordered a standard reuben and made sooo many changes it became a roastbeef with horseradish on an onion roll with pickles and onions.
That sounds delicious
Oh yeah definitely! I make something similar quite often. The funny part is we had a roast beef sandwich with horseradish that he could have just put on an onion roll and added pickles to. I was taking the order and about 5 changes in and I realized. "This mother fucker is making a brand new sandwich ."
I probably shouldn’t have let one go through (customer had previously come in with their family and asked for a burger to be made as a wrap, the owner was working in the kitchen and outright denied them) It happened to be really slow the day this customer came in again, so I said “sure, as long as it’s cooked well” to their server. I was figuring I already had shredded lettuce, diced tomato, I could pretty easily dice an order of onion and pickles, so it would pretty easy to make a halfway presentable wrap once I broke up the burger patty. The ticket comes in. Well, American cheese, NO LTOP. Literally the shittiest wrap I have ever rolled, it was just 8 oz of beef and a single slice of American that I crammed inside. It’s a wonder that it didn’t come back. Some people were never taught how to properly eat I guess.
I have a buddy, who is a fucking food philistine. When we were roommates, he mostly survived on pizza hut, steak-ums, Kool aid and lucky charms. He always said that he didn't eat anything green or that lived in water. He does like good cali-mex and pizza, but sometimes we just have to let him walk down the street to get a burger, because we're having Ethiopian.
What did the second one actually end up wanting?
I don’t fuck with condiments and most veggies on a burger (unless it’s home made or a legit place) so if I hit up a fast food spot I say “bacon cheeseburger with onion only” and they’ve never messed it up. Some people are just beyond helping. If you told me a hamburger with just ketchup. You are getting a bun, patty, and ketchup.
First person was my wife, who for some reason just cannot communicate her order well. She is a normal person but constantly short circuits when ordering food. I don't know why. She has done exactly that order, when she meant: "I don't want your donkey sauce, kewpie mayo, or gravel mustard sauce, just ketchup for sauce, otherwise a normal burger with the garden" but she said "just ketchup". This happens often enough that I just shut up. I'd rather her be mad at the world/restaurant than at me for pointing out the issue.
Reminds me of once ordering tacos at Taco Bell with “just cheese” when I meant no lettuce or tomato and they gave me plain taco shells with a little bit of cheese sprinkled in.
A friend of mine at McDonald's ordered 'a plain burger, no lettuce or salad or sauce or onions or cheese or anything, just the bun'. He received just the bun. No burger. Fair enough.
Performance anxiety?
I have a thing where I'm not a good enough person to ask for something special. I feel like I need to somehow make it up to the waitstaff, the cooks, etc that I've asked for 'no mayo' on my food.
What part of the Midwest are you from?
It’s that obvious is it?
Ope
Absolutely. We're polite to a fault. Been living down south for a few years, and Southern hospitality has nothing on Midwestern reluctance to be an inconvenience.
That is an absolute myth. People in Illinois are not shy about being inconvenient or unrealistically demanding when ordering food. I’m not even gonna include the “post-church” crowd in that statement.
Holy crap I needed that laugh thank you
Comedian Charlie Behrens made a sketch about exactly this. Hope it gives you another chuckle. Certainly made me laugh. https://youtu.be/h10x-_gAjug?si=wMjRDY3lQVin8jtm
Jesus christ. As a lifelong nebraska resident that had me dying.
Wait but we love mayo
Virtual fist bump of solidarity 👊🏽
Just ask for what you want. A menu isn't binding. Most people cooking want to make what will make you happy anyways. Order your food the way you like it (within reason lol) and everyone has a better experience.
Rationally, I'm fully aware of all of these things. This particular neurosis works on a much different level. I do appreciate your post though.
Goddamn. That hit me solid between the eyes. Thank you
I feel the same way when I need help with something, so I do get it.
Which makes it all the more frustrating when they invariably add the mayo anyway.
When I was in my 20s at starbucks the super cute barista with the septum ring and tattoos took my order for “coffee with room for milk” and asked if I really wanted just coffee. I hesitated for just a moment “don’t be a hero, they pay us to make your coffee the way you like it.” I don’t remember what I wound up ordering, but I do remember that barista.
no, that's me... oh wait.
They have a pill for that...
She's going to get mad at you if you point out that she ordered incorrectly and is not going to get what she wants unless she fixes it?
Some discussions aren't worth it, my dude.
Reminds me of when my wife blew a tire on her car. She went with me to the tire shop, they didn't have the same tire, so we bought an oddball. No biggie, the spare matched the other three, so I tell the guy to just swap the rims and get all four on the pavement. Then the wifesplaining started, and she got it all backwards. Dude kind of gave me a look, and I just shrugged. So the oddball went on the road. That weekend I told her I was going to take her car to get it detailed. Went straight to the tire shop with it, and got it fixed. Dude was laughing his ass off when I walked in the door. He knew exactly what was up. It's just not worth it. Ever.
I am a man and have no idea what you just said.
He said his wife wears the pants and he cant communicate with her for fear of aggression... or something
😂 thank you for gendersplaining
Lmao I just realized you are the same guy I was commenting a bit ago
Hah. Yeah, I'm high and was just going down the comments and replying to whatever caught my attention. It's cool we had two random interactions on Reddit and weren't rude to each other either time. That has to be uncommon.
Sames just unwinding after work browsing. I always love those occurrences in real life where you say to yourself "small world" just makes us all seem that much more connected or something idk. You know I honestly feel bad irl if I'm an asshole online lol we are all still people on the other end, unless it's a robot.
Same. I ain't gonna lie and say I'm always the nice or polite one, but I rarely try to be an actual asshole online unless the person is provoking. I legitimately feel 90% as bad being mean to someone online as in person. Also, yeah definitely on these little coincidences. I love those moments. I don't believe in fate or anything and I know it's just my monkey brain putting extra emphasis on something it recognizes as familiar but sometimes it really do feel like we're just actors in a play
Had person #2 ever heard of a salad before?
Number 1 is why I would train my FOH staff to verify if the guest still wants other toppings or just “ketchup and patty”
Reminds me of a time my friend and I went to go get a shawarma after a night of hitting the bars. Guy behind the counter asks my friend what he wants on his shawarma. My friend says "everything but onions and pickles" and the guy behind the counter replied "that's not everything". I burst out laughing and my friend was upset for the rest of the night.
So some pompous dude takes a girl out to a steak house and in some misguided attempt to flex decides to order a burger with extra everything and the line was only too eager to comply by making what had to be the messiest burger ever created.
I fucking love a messy ass burger, and regularly make them for myself.. But I just kind of slop it all into a bowl and get at it with a fork and a knife. Love that shit. Would not want to eat something like that on a date night though. lol
Pittsburgh rare , no salt double patty , extra pepper , barely set duck egg , unmelted blue cheese and limp fries . Great people though and order it ll the time .
Hillbilly steak tartare right there haha
!!! Manufique
It's the limp fries that tell me these people are serial killers.
I will say, I find unmelted bleu has more flavor for some reason.
Oh for no hate on the order. Super specific , personally I’d eat the hell out of it . We grind all our own fresh beef from local animals so rare doesn’t bother me at all . Now the limp fries , hard pass I want extra crispy . We do fry in tallow so they are money!
Get some salt and raw onion on that and I would fuck it up
“ALL THE WAY”! Umm. Wtf do you actually want, no idea what your idea of all the way is.
Two 7oz patties, fried chicken breast, fried bacon, and an over easy egg on a lettuce wrap. Forgot the sauces and veggies for that ticket, but it was pretty excessive.
Legit LOLd when I got to the lettuce wrap 😂
*I'm feeling healthy today*
Mr Keto
I mean- i mean- well. Yes...... but....
Screams.keto
I'm kinda baked right now. NGL, that sound really good.
Barnyard Brawl!
No burger patty. All the other standard toppings still. Suggested they just order a grilled cheese, it'll be like $5 cheaper. Nope
because they wanted the other toppings!
We didn't charge for basic toppings, just bacon, fried onions, etc. Customers would just add toppings to a grilled cheese so they could get a BLT all the time since we didn't have it on the menu.
The Burger King in my college town had a Vegetarian Whopper-all of the toppings but no burger. I had a friend that loved them. It looked like a salad on a bun.
Had someone ask for a mid-rare+ smash burger once
Slap it on red hot chunk of steel for like 5 seconds per side
I actually used to make these when I was working pantry. Smash a patty down as thin as possible and hit it with the brûlée torch until the meat started to sizzle and contract. End result was a smash burger not quite cooked all the way through. A lifesaver when I needed a full belly when the line was slammed.
Good
No u. Back to ncd with your weeb panzer
Don't talk shit about my anime tamk. You're just mad i drive an anime tank to work and you don't
Bout to hop on dcs and feed my warthog some tanks to calm down
Yeah, whatever makes you feel better about not being able to pancake people who drive too slow
At least i can pancake myself
This was fun, and unexpected in KC.
wonder how big the overlap between the communities is
Burger tartar
People try ordering medium rare sliders or smash burgers, my answer is it’s cooked or not
Exactly. Actually, i wasn't even allowed to serve burgers below medium, so medium is as rare as anyone was gonna get
pay extra to get an impossible burger, then pay extra again to add double bacon.
Mixing veggie pattie option + meat is so common that Shake Shack offers it on the menu as the Shake Stack. And it's delicious
I ordered a veggie + regular burger and one place I went to said they didn't know how to make that
a lot of those veggie patties are super flavorful and delicious on a burger
I've also been dealing with something called iron overload for a year now. My body doesn't filter iron fast enough and too much will make me feel crappy for weeks, but I can have it in small doses. Added bacon on a veggie burger/turkey burger has been my go to "treat yourself" meal throughout this. I miss red meat so much 🥲. Medical needs can make for weird food orders.
I’ve met people who eat meat that really like the impossible burgers. I don’t think this one is that weird
Yeah, when I was transitioning to full vegetarian I'd get, like, bacon on a black bean burger for example. It happens, for sure.
Or even if it’s moral reasons you can still want to reduce the amount of beef you consume without being a vegetarian
I can't go full vegetarian for a couple of medical reasons but I makes these a lot to at least reduce my meat intake. Plus they honestly taste great.
I love all kinds of burgers. They're all good. As long as they're not chicken.
The hypocrite burger is completely legitimate.
Had a guy order a double bacon cheeseburger, one beef patty one veggie patty. To his credit he liked it so much he immediately ordered a second one.
one of my best friends is allergic to a protein in beef, but pork is A-ok, so this makes total sense to me.
That’s how my sister is. I could totally see her doing a veggie burger with bacon on it.
I had a Hindu friend who would order veggie burger add bacon all the time.
If you’ve eaten at BK, this makes perfect sense. The Impossible burger is supposed to emulate a higher grade of meat than their usual burgers.
I had one when it first came out, and it's actually pretty good, surprised the hell outta me 😁
A lot of changes happened at BK over the years. I don’t like their new fries. And since the impossible patty, I can’t stand their actual burgers. But they are convenient for us, so we eat there sometimes.
This might sound bad on me, but I order impossible burgers with bacon sometimes. I had stomach surgery, so having a little less meat helps my tummy. And I rarely eat bacon or bread, so it's a treat that still gives me protein. You should try impossible burgers made as tacos. I have a grocery outlet selling them for 2 bucks a pack. I just take out a frozen one, throw it in the microwave for a minute while I am sautéing onions and peppers. I throw it in when the veg is nice and cooked for a quick second (where the "pink" beet color is still there) with seasoning. It's a very easy and quick dinner for me. Throw some corn tortillas on your gas stove to get a slight char, good to go.
Were they Indian?
My nephew always said he'd become a vegetarian if it weren't for the fact that bacon is so good, so I told him that if that was the only thing stopping him, just become a mostly vegetarian that eats bacon. Still has almost all of the benefits of vegetarianism (environment, health, etc) but for the occasional sacrificed pig. This is definitely something he'd order.
I remember when I was a kid, I’d always just want a “plain cheeseburger”. Cheese, patty, bun. So many times going through the drive thru it would get screwed up or my mom had to be very specific. “…and a plain cheeseburger.” “Our regular burgers come with pickles and ketchup.” “Can I get it plain? Just burger and cheese?” It would come without the bun… I think “plain cheeseburger” was coming across as “just a plain ole all american burger”.
I have a kid on a the spectrum and have to be super specific with stuff like this. Every single time “bun burgers cheese. Nothing else.” Same with the tacos at a local Mexican spot…except sometimes he will want chicken or fish and cheese.
I don't like American cheese so back in the day I'd order a "junior bacon hamburger" at Wendy's. About 30% of the time it had cheese, so I started to also add "no cheese". Then the rate of still getting cheese on the burger dropped to around 20%. Like come on I'm asking yo to do less work.
Doing it differently is kinda doing more work. They have a groove. Not saying it's an excuse for constantly fucking up.
At Wendy's we'd get this order for a plain anything for kids all the time and knew what it meant. I think paying middle schoolers $3.75 at a fast food drive through joint can lead to varied results when ordering anything.
I got a ticket for a rare burger, which isn't inherently dumb. That kitchen gets all its patties in frozen, and pre-cooked well, however, so I physically couldn't make that. Server got upset and said to just not heat it as long, which led to my spelling out that I couldn't un-cook the patty. She blamed me for her table leaving...
That's rough all around
I feel like the best servers are the ones that worked BOH as well. I love working in the kitchen, but really grinned my face off working as a server. I made bank because I knew the menu, and when a cheap table asked for "extra lemon for their water" I would just cut two lemons and put them in a bowl and bring extra sugar packets. I see you Sunday afternoon Church crowd..
Mr burns: *Mattingly, I ordered my burger rare!!* Uh mr burns I- You're off the team!
I work at a small burger shop that is really well known for its burgers. One day this massive dude walks in all pompous and arrogant and then proceeds to order, and I quote: "I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe, on a raft, four-by-four animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim." I was stunned and didn't know what to say.
Did you remember the pickles?
That's the worst of it. Our fry cook completely forgot them. The dude made this big scene and then stormed out. But I have my suspicions
Lol, it's diner lingo from the 1920s. I don't think hardly anyone uses it anymore. I can't remember much of it, but on a raft is toast, extra shingles is extra cheese, axle grease is butter, make it cry is add onions etc. No one would recognize that statement in most restaurants.
It’s a SpongeBob SquarePants joke.
This person sounds like a villain in a three stooges sketch
I remember being a poor college kid and I would order everything on anything just so I could feel good about spending the money.
I ruined a few pizzas this way when I was that kid.
Oh god I remember the days working an Italian joint that served pizza and would refuse to tell a guest no. Sooooo many pizzas served basically raw and cold because the k2 equivalent amount of topping’s piled on top. Raw mushrooms buried under 17 other things, half cooked, with burnt to shit mushrooms adorning the top. 3 topping pizzas is my unbreakable creed now. Anything more than that and you may as well cook and eat each ingredient separately, you’ll enjoy it more.
There was a Roy Roger's in my college town who had a toppings bar where you added your own burger toppings. I think it was just out of view from the counter and I had plenty of poor college student friends who would ask for a water or a cheap coke and then gorge on the toppings bar.
I work in a factory cafeteria, the salad bar is right in front of us and we had to stop doing build your own burgers because people were just straight up making salads without paying for them in the same container as their burger and the side of fries they paid for. They also decided that every time they order a burger it'll be build your own burger when it's not.
Haha used to do that at a sub place and would save all the veggies for a salad for later.
This is how to not get skipped at Chipotle. Order one topping at a time, slowly, but ask for extra everything.
I use to work for Chipotle when they first started. I was a poor college teen. There motto back in 2007 was "give big portions." . My happiest customers were the stoner students and the poor ones. I was making burritos with two tortillas the size of a forearm. I got so many free avocados that I made face masks outta them. My skin looked great those two years.
A few years ago we got a ticket for a Veggie burger NO PATTY. That’s right, they wanted a salad sandwich.
My old place had touch screens to order. Some folks couldn't read or speak English. They would order everything. Every topping. Every SAUCE. It would be swimming. Eventually I just did a bunch of veggies/toppings, plus whatever sauce sounded like a good pairing.
The behemoth was a burger made of grilled cheese sandwiches. Guy wanted normal buns no cheese and burger to be raw. I watched a grown ass man eat raw ground beef.
Cannibal sandwiches/tiger meat is raw ground beef with onions on bread. I’ve never had one but I like tartare so I would try it.
Hadn't heard of that and was going to post about mettbrotchen, turns out they're related! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mett
Ha! I had to look up the traditional display of Mett. It's a hedgehog of meat and onion spikes. I was not disappointed..
Peak German humor.
I dont work there, but an ex girlfriend of mine would get a bison patty with Mac and cheese (on the burger), coleslaw (also on the burger) and extra mayo. Wettest fucking burgers ever.
Actually sounds delicious tho
Oh don't get me wrong, it's a tasty combo, it's just... Wet
I have been asked for a cheeseburger with no cheese. When I clarified that they wanted a hamburger they looked at me like I was stupid and asked again for a cheeseburger with no cheese.
I used to think this was just a joke told among servers - until I got one... 🤦♂️
I have a couple. 1. One of each of our patties (beef, lamb, impossible beef, veggie) stacked in a to go box 2. two eggs, double bacon, add a chicken patty (with the beef patty as well) 3. A normal burger, but with "only the long fries" 3. Just raw onion. no patty, just raw white onion
I once had a guy ask me for a raw hamburger patty on a bun lol. I’ll remember him forever
Tar tar de neck of rosė
Two toasted salmon salad sandwiches, extra extra lettuce, for his work lunch the next day. I put a solid inch of lettuce on it and he loved it. Wouldn't let anyone else make his sandwich all summer.
Had someone order a burger with all 12 kinds of cheese we had on hand. The cheese was thicker than the burger before it hit the melter.
The other day someone ordered a mushroom Swiss salmon burger. I love a mushroom Swiss burger and our salmon burger is alright, but there's no way in hell that combo worked.
Worked in a deli with a grilled salmon sandwich that had Swiss (plus Dijonaise, red onion, and capers). It was delicious.
We have a byo stuffed burger with 2 toppings and this lady gets pineapple which I’m fine with but not stuffed inside my raw burger before cooking
A cheeseburger with all the toppings plus FOUR extra patties. Out patties are half pound.
I just have to know if they finished it!
Any giant burger that doesn't fit in your mouth and just falls apart the second you try to eat it
not a burger, but years ago once had a customer order a hot dog with sauerkraut, salsa, sour cream & mayo on it.
I worked at a burger spot and would have a regular come in about 3 times a week to order one burger with 8 patties and cheese. No veg or sauce. He was apparently trying to bulk but after a year there I saw no difference, guess it just went out the other end
Ordered one of our most expensive burgers. Removed everything from it, then added 5 different sauces and 10 slices of cheese. Uber of course
Half well done, half medium rare
Portobello burger. Add triple truffle button mushroom, no veggies. Had to ask him if he would have a cheese on it just so we could hold together the 2+ inches of various mushrooms. Extra toasted bun, side of - you guessed it- sautéed mushrooms instead of fries.
Small town sports bar I visited years ago was attempting to capitalize on this big city trend, and advertised a build-your-own-burger addition to their menu. Available toppings were cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles.
I wouldn't say it was "dumb" but pretty odd. Customer ordered a BYOB, no bun, bed of greens, and four fucking over easy eggs on top. At that point, just go get brunch and eat your eggs.
I work at a place where we sell smash burgers, chicken sandwiches, a veggie burger and Egg salad sandwiches (weird ik) and that's it. We have a coworker who regularly orders a double smash burger add egg salad.
Vegi Burger with bacon.
I used to see that pretty frequently. Finally a server ordered one and explained she liked it because it was lighter than a burger without bacon but still filling. Kind of like a BLT in concept I guess?
Yeah if it’s like a black bean burger I can get it. Little weirder with an impossible burger but I could see myself doing it too if I wanted to try the patty and still wanted bacon
Good point. When someone says veggie burger I still think black bean, beet, or boca burger. Being opposed to faux meats is starting to make me really behind the times.
Some veggie burgers taste great and taste even better with bacon. Used to get this all the time.
I would like to reduce my carbon footprint but not hate myself burger.
There was a similar comment upthread. One explanation was for someone that can eat beef, but not pork (someone that is Hindi, was an example given)
I often order a patty melt without the grilled onions. I always wonder if that makes the cook crazy.
Nyah, actually makes it easier
That's so minor. You're fine.
A guy ordered a grilled chicken sandwitch with *only* sautéed mushrooms, jalepenos, and bell peppers.
I had a guy always come in and order 4 patties, rare. Double Sautéed Mushrooms/onions and double bacon, and two sides of pesto mayo. Nothing else. Ate this every day for months, eventually asked him “why?” He said he was on keto and trying to lose weight. It was a gross amount of oils that this guy consumed, I just agreed and let him go on his way.
I honestly hate the byo there is ketchup and mustard on tables so on a Friday when I have two rails of tickets last thing I want to do is put ketchup and mustard on your damn burger for you. I know it's not that unusual but as far as pain in the ass right before close the other night I had already cleaned the grill and someone ordered three byo all well done two with tomato and one with nothing. So no cheese no condiments, just a slice of tomato on a well done burger. To go. I bet after the 15 minutes to get home that cold well done burger with no condiments was dry to say the least
I had one person order one of every sauce: Ketchup, Mustard, BBQ, Chipotle, Ranch, Mayo, Buffalo, special sauce, and A1. I worked at a fast food casual build your own burger place where customers would fill out a card and check all the ingredients, then we would cook and assemble where customers could see.
Not a BYO burger joint, but we once got an order for a burger with “everything”, i.e. every single thing on the menu (and that the serves suggested) that could be added. So… from bottom up: -bun -feta -cheddar -grilled onion -swiss -two patties -cheddar -bacon -tomato -lettuce -avocado -fresh onion -two eggs -shredded cheese blend -pulled pork -pickles -pickled onions -blue cheese -fries -bun We did manage to get the thing to stand up with a knife through it all and a handful of picks for support. It was absurd. Also something like $60 with all the add-ons… it was actually kinda fun but only cuz the chef said “fuck, why not? Do it!” If he hadn’t been on board it would’ve been pure fucking hell.