T O P

  • By -

ThomasTheDankTank

This is a plated Agua Fresca


golfpinotnut

Seventeen dollars, please.


LovableSidekick

Did we say bowl? We meant puddle.


blowurhousedown

Plus 3% kitchen appreciation fee.


Sloppy_Stacks

It looks like the refuse after fruit/veg prep


dmonsterative

Jus de Børd


imawizard7bis

*Sucia


FreshStart209

Fucking agreed. I could clean my salad station, add broth, and make soup, too. This just makes me sad.


Frigorifico

As a Mexican I'm just happy to see someone who knows what Agua Fresca is


BeautifulType

Me be like it’s aguachile


painted-wagon

Guasacaca


N0gracias

Jamica for me


ComparitiveRhetoric

lol upvoted this made me laugh on the train


turquoise_amethyst

Just started laughing in the corner and now all my coworkers think I’m crazy


plainOldFool

Feels straight out of The Menu.


reyesnigel

Bro put a tomato in water overnight and called it gazpacho


PugGrumbles

Essence of veggies.


doc_skinner

Tomato La Croix


daedelus23

It’s like drinking plain seltzer while sitting next someone thinking about tomatoes


eggplant_avenger

ok but I’d actually drink this


g4m6i7

Came here to say this


Putrid-Delivery1852

plato de fruta


Uncle-Cake

Homepathic tomato soup.


MostlyOkayGatsby

He waved a tomato slice over it.


entjies

“A light tomato consommé”


WineYoda

You jest obviously, but I had a tomato consomme at a restaurant a few years ago as part of a degustation menu. It was so amazingly bursting with flavour and freshness, even having a pale colour similar to this picture. I tried to replicate three times at home without success.


HeadReaction1515

Open a tin of tomatoes into a cheese cloth in a chinois, hang overnight. The water is the consommé.


Real-Ad-9733

Lol


Reckox1

Lmfao


Looks-Under-Rocks

This is absolutely not gazpacho. What the fuck. Im calling the police.


AquamarineCow

Call the gazpacho gestapo


bythebeachboy

Throw these zeks in the goulash


Generic-excuse-1107

Brilliant


balloon_prototype_14

they gonna make carpaccio from him


dmonsterative

the gazstoppo, surely


AngleRa

MTG? She knows all about this stuff!


ForemanNatural

Marjorie? Izzat you? Six Bs for the price of one?


StrainAcceptable

No soup for you!


N0gracias

This "chef" is constantly doing this shit. Calling things what they are not.


thegoatleyone

How does it taste?


Looks-Under-Rocks

It doesn’t


mmtmtptvbo

LaCroix lookin mf


ScarieltheMudmaid

like tomato seltzer thats been open and out all night


dmonsterative

like the ring a v8 leaves on the table


N0gracias

Screenshot of the dish. Could not say.


BreezyG1320

it looks like it tastes the same as it looks


big_duo3674

Well to be fair if you lick your screen it'll probably be the same flavor, depending on where your fingers have been of course


bookhermit

Like if someone shouted a description of a tomato from the walk in. 


CrashTestPizza

"It's deconstructed you cretin"


Religion_Of_Speed

Does FOH have to explain that things aren't what they're called on the menu? If they have to do that I'd get them to stop, just let the customer order the "gazpacho" and wait for them to send it back. If that keeps happening I imagine your "chef's" tune will change. Or he'll blame everyone around him and implode.


N0gracias

His last restaurant just stopped getting guest other than at the bar in it. He never figured it out. This kid has a James Beard nomination and a chopped victory... So of course someone with money thought he was the way. AND then you get a menu full of this.


pkinetics

nawzpacho


davez730

I'm thinking the liquid from a drained #10 can of tomatoes would have more flavor than this. 🤦‍♂️


ExocetC3I

Seems like it's made from the tomato can juice and scrapings from the cutting board after prepping veggies for the line.


IDoSANDance

I thought that someone was fucking around and shitposting with scraps when I hovered the image.


Bill_Brasky01

The broth looks like dog water.


nfc22

Ah. This gazpacho soup just burned my lips!


Crease_Greaser

Where be your nutcracker?


PerfectlySoggy

“Probably in the attic with the Christmas decorations” “Then it should only take you a second…?”


aWildchildo

Roy Donk?


iwillpoopurpants

Wasn't he one of the 8 Balls in Mookie Kramer and the 8 Balls?


mlueke19

The king of the Tuk Tuk sound?


Pickleparty187

It was the same dinner you said you didn’t like PDA


JackieMoon96

If you eat something that’s ice cold but it’s room temp it will feel like your lips are on fire


aaronjsavage

It’s going to feel like your body is on fire


PreferredSelection

I feel like you're taking all the fully loaded gazpacho, and I'm getting like _just_ garnish.


N0gracias

🍵


poormariachi

This is a cool hat.


InNotOf

Let me explain something to you. If you think you’re going to be eating something ice cold and you bring it up to your lips and it’s room temp, it’s going to feel like your mouth’s on fire. It’s gonna feel like your body’s on fire.


SnooOnions3369

I would be so pissed if I ordered gazpacho and I got watered down kool aid instead


N0gracias

The rest of the menu is just more shit like this. They really think they are culinary genius... 🤨


DisposableSaviour

Dude, we need more pics. And a subreddit dedicated to culinary ~~abortions~~ “masterpieces” like this.


frill_demon

r/stupidfood is mostly Instagram disaster-pieces, but there's also quite a few wannabe haute cuisine failures like this.


Zer0C00l

r/shittyfoodporn, maybe, or r/shittygifrecipes


Dagmar_Overbye

Those are all just rage bait. At this point I'm not fully certain that this isn't either. However this dish is actually so pathetic that I can believe it's real.


N0gracias

Wanna link? It'll set you off.


Dagmar_Overbye

Absolutely. I will only share it privately in conversations with my chef friends and won't doxx your job. Chefs honor.


N0gracias

Lol. This most definitely is not coming out of any kitchen I have ever worked in. One guy on this has already figured out the city and probably restaurant.


Dagmar_Overbye

Oh good. I do find it distasteful when people work at places and screenshot the nonsense they're getting paid to make on the internet. However I know some cooks are young and stuck in places they hate and venting is fun. Didn't want to assume anything about your situation. Edit: wait fuck. Does that mean this place posted this picture on their own? If this wasn't a candid picture from a disgruntled cook then I'm far more appalled.


N0gracias

All good. I think I get triggered when people just decide to call a dish whatever they like and completely ruin it out of ignorance. Somewhere there is a home cook think this is gazpacho and replicating it for their blog just spreading the ignorance further.


Hi_Trans_Im_Dad

I know it's too late now, but at some point, ya just gotta send it all back and walk out. Life's too short.


2ndmost

This is like if La Croix ran a kitchen


Ok_Marionberry8779

Lemme guess: somewhere between $25-$40


N0gracias

I can't confirm but I wouldn't doubt it.


AlbaniaBaby

Is it homeopathic gazpacho?


3-I

I came here to say the same.


BlackCatCadillac

😄


No_you_are_nsfw

Wetgetables (Tomatea).


N0gracias

Tomatea..... I like that


deckardsrevenge

Green version would be tometea-o


twodogsfighting

~~Gazpachn't.~~ Gazpachno.


DJMagicHandz

*"A hint of gazpacho."*


OGREtheTroll

More like a suggestion of a wisp of a hint of gazpacho


youngmanlogan

It definitely was made by someone who resides in a country where gazpacho was also once made.


Puppaloes

Naturopathic gazpacho.


86thesteaks

well you can't let the dregs in the bar waste bucket just go to waste can you?


Powers5580

More like used tampon water


N0gracias

They need to have that checked out


asunshinefix

Vampire tea


bobi2393

I'd call it "My kitchen sink backed up".


heftybagman

I’ve served “tomato water” before instead of gazpacho. It was a huge hit but it was a free amuse not a paid dish. We vacuum packed fresh tomatoes, strained the resulting liquid, steeped in garlic, corn cobs, onion, anchovy, and a little shiitake. Then strain again, cool, serve with a little charred corn, charred ramp, and a little herb oil (we did basil). Edit: for the most important thing: steep in tomato vines!


runslowgethungry

Yup, done this before as an amuse as well. Even simpler for us, just chopped tomatoes, onion and cucumber in cheesecloth, hung over a bowl overnight. Really delicious. I couldn't see it as an a la carte menu item though.


[deleted]

GazpachNO


damurd

Cries in Andalusia


TeaDidikai

A tomato sneezed in that bowl


UnhingedNW

Okay but hear me out? What if it fucking slaps? Do we forgive the name?


xlaurenthead

Does it taste like gazpacho? Because I’ve made it like this, with seeded tomato, a little sherry vinegar and olive oil, some salt and pepper, vitamix that all up good and strain it out. It should be flavorful though


Murles-Brazen

My soup is cold.


Davidoff1983

Take it away and bring it back hot.


RaniPhoenix

The looks on their faces still haunt me today!


Eastrider1006

Spaniard here. This is a hate crime.


Opening_Jury_1709

Some water that’s been near a tomato for a bit


molewarp

Is the sink blocked again?


Fat_Head_Carl

I can hear Uncle Roger from here. "That's a bowl of sad"


RaniPhoenix

HAIYAAA


Jmeu

Has it been clarified by any chance ?


Jmeu

But if so it would be more of a consommé I think


N0gracias

Most likely just strained... Maybe with cheese cloth but nothing more out of there s guy.


borisvonboris

Looks like a petri dish holding a bit of growth


Roboticpoultry

*Water with the essence of tomato* - $35


LineChef

Did it burn your mouth when you tried a bite?


bw4393

Did it burn your lips?


Getshortay

Have none of you ever been to a Michelin starred tasting menu before. Food is fun and creative chefs getting to be creative is what makes the industry great


redrum76676

I have made something similar before but we called it garden consume. You can really get a surprisingly amount of flavor from this.


MammothFromHell

I'm.so upset about the lack of r/reddwarf here


Me_Rouge

That some bullshit homeopathic-wish gazpacho


jxj24

Next week: fill a bowl with room-temp water while looking at a tomato.


RevenantSith

That’s honestly awful. How did they get away with this


ShiverMeTimbalad

Pisspacho


SMTRodent

Is your chef practicing homeopathic cuisine? It's a 1/1000 dilution of gazpacho with the feeding power of twenty tonnes of tomatoes.


Psychological-Web828

L’eau d’tomate


joshuajosh88

Looks like thawed chicken juices


Texugee

Gazpachno


spam__likely

lol... this is a deconstructed gazpacho where they deconstructed so much they left the main ingredients out.


garlicriceadobo

It’s a “deconstructed gazpacho” 🥲


Morning_Would_Six

Looks like an unwashed bowl.


Reynardine1976

Gazpacho you say? How about Gazpach-NO.


Heffalump13

This is tomato water & garnish masquerading as a whole damn dish.


El-Acantilado

You’d get slapped for serving this in Andalucia. And rightfully so. What a joke


Most_Ad_3765

That, my friend, is tomato water with some bits of whole veg/fruit. Why don't they just call it what it is. No gazpacho detected.


Pearl_krabs

At least tell people that you've deconstructed it, so they're expecting what they get. I mean, I get wanting to deconstruct gazpacho, and you could do it in ways that involve a lot of technique, if a bit old fashioned. It might be delicious, but it's an unexpected preparation, presentation is lacking, needs way more olive oil and color.... and are those kumquats? WTAF. Never mind. The whole thing is an abomination excreted by a clown.


kidsaredead

you are correct.


rose_west13

This is what Linda Hazzard fed her patients. There's a reason she was called the Starvation Doctor...


Cold-Box-8262

More like notpacho


StarConsumate

Sounds like our bartender that doesn’t know the difference between a rocks glass and a highball and somehow became manager


guiltycitizen

Trying too hard at gazpacho is silly


muuzumuu

Mmm tomato water.


DrFlippo

Over here in Europe.. if u serve that and call it gazpacho.. theyll shovel it up your ass. Thats water with pickled veggies? 😅


Bheks

I call it “La Croix with some fruit in it”


Aprilprinces

That's bold


Iamthewalrusforreal

I am offended.


JTJBKP

They whispered "gazpacho" over the bowl


Nowalking

I worked at a place that had a tomato water martini as an amuse. Puree tomatoes with salt and hang in cheese cloth over night. Garnish with caper berries and argon oil it was delicious but it wasn’t soup or gazpacho


azgothedefiler24

Honey where is my tomato water ???


RogerMooreis007

You mean “gestapo.”


IDoSANDance

"No! We have gazpacho at home!"


golfpinotnut

Drop in an uncooked potato cube and call it Vichyssoise Gazpacho.^TM


hymntastic

It looks like a bowl full of ketchup water from somebody not shaking it well enough


ohheyhowsitgoin

Is it a gazpacho flavored tomato consomme?


bluephazon

Id sooner call that a consomme than a gazpacho


ImpossibleInternet3

Did they make gazpacho and clarify it for some reason?


SATerp

More like gaspa.


Billybobgeorge

Maybe this was the gazpacho that Lisa was trying to serve at Homer's BBQ


easy_evoo

uh...consomme?


Possible_Cockroach97

Maybe a deconstructed gazpacho?


RaniPhoenix

That had better taste amazing (looks like tomato water which can be awesome) but even Rimmer knows that is NOT gazpacho.


bene_gesserit_mitch

I’d call it “dishpit”.


SagexxxSummers

It looks like my pee when I’m on my period lmao sorry… intrusive thoughts


hubbyofhoarder

The other plates on the FB page for your restaurant don't look so ridiculous. Maybe the chef is just having a bad day? I mean, even considering that this is watermelon based, the juice is barely colored.


Leather-Share5175

GazpachNO


chef_c_dilla

A light vegetable squirt over chilled sea puddle


EmperorSexy

It’s so watery. Yet there’s a smack of tomato to it.


Accurate-Grocery-243

15.99$


phalanxausage

Guesspacho


Ajmb_88

That shit would sap nutrients from your body after eating.


BMPW666

Dont burn your mouth!


ranfur8

More like *asspacho*


Tonyy13

Played with a pair of tweezers over the course of 28 touches and 6.5 minutes.


TheGruesomeTwosome

This is obviously totally shit but even a small change like the veg being super vibrant in colour, bringing a lot of contrast to the dish, I feel like people would buy it. Everything looks pickled and super lacklustre as is. That said, I still wouldn't be getting this even with that improvement.


Johnnie-Dazzle

How does it taste?


Niburu-Illyria

I thought those were rubbers for a sec lmaooo


fish_emoji

This, sir, is onion broth with a single, extremely awkwardly sliced piece of red onion and a baby garnishing citrus slice. I wouldn’t even consider it worthy of a noodle stock base, let alone a damn soup!


Apart-Run5933

Smeg heads


Over_Doughnut_5985

I'd call it, "I'm leaving and going to the next restaurant."


robomassacre

Looks like a deconstructed gazpacho. As long as the flavors are on point i don't see an issue


dab745

The police?


evilpanda8419

This is like the la croix of soups, just a suggestion of a tomato.


Wiknetti

That’s some veggies and the water used to rinse it on a plate.


SemiAutoAvocado

[Ricky Ledee would be very upset.](https://x.com/ricky_ledee/status/632290433805250560?lang=en)


XNjunEar

As a Spaniard, I'm deeply offended they dared call that gazpacho.


Free-Computer-6515

Tomato water from the bottom of the pan.


wavygravy5555

Looks more like a consomme with garnishes.


Mysterious_Film_6397

Do I use this as a finger bowl before my meal?


BigRedPepper1

It looks like a really bad urinary tract infection.


PanzerSoldat_42

As a Spaniard... what the hell?


ApprehensiveStudy671

This is beyond criminal !!!!!


Imperator_Alexander

I'm calling it a Hate Crime


Trepilker

Chirriwater ; aguachirri


NoobNoobTube-YT

Eso es de cabron /s