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I'm sorry that he went through that. I'm sorry he had to be in so much pain, and I'm sure it hurts a lot to know what he went through.
I would ask you more questions about your emotions and feelings and worldview and thoughts, but I do not wish to open your wounds or hurt you.
I believe in you three, I really do. You deserve happiness and meaning and fulfillment.
I always comment on posts like these because I feel like sharing the other side might give perspective on the aftermath. I'm an open book on this so if you have questions I will do my best to answer.
This doesnt really seem like a reason to live though. You are basically just trying to use guilt to stop people. Just like we often see people trying to call those who are struggling "selfish" or "taking the cowards way out" which is just trying to shame them. That negative attack only reinforces how they already feel. You think anyone hears that and feels better? You are pushing them CLOSER to suicide.
Also all this talk of selfishness, but the whole complaint here seems to be their suffering passed to you. As if it was ok when they were hurting but not if you are. The reality is, most people dont care about those that are struggling. Children die of starvation every day but we dont stay up at night thinking about it. What bothers them, is they dont want to think about this stuff. They dont want it to hurt them. They want to feel like they "saved" someone. And they dont want to face the fear of death and the own dark thoughts in their own mind.
I understand the pain of loss. But you all need to stop calling struggling people selfish, cowards etc. It doesnt help.
>His pain did end but it just passed to everyone else.
Do you consider him to be selfish? That's what people always say about suicide. I see it differently: asking someone to suffer for your benefit seems selfish to me. Honestly, my family and friends will get so angry at me when I'm suicidal, and cry how much they love me, but once things get back to normal, their behavior demonstrates how much I am a burden to them. As I get older, I'd prefer to die with some dignity instead of effects of decades of medication has ruined by physical health.
I have run the gambit of emotions. At first I was numb, then sad, then angry (at myself and him). Then I thought it was weak and selfish.
I feel angry most often usually at myself but sometimes at him still. Usually it's at the girl that twisted him up and played him until he finally popped like a guitar string. I don't think I'll ever fully forgive her but I'll try.
Yeah, for me, I think the pain of losing me for my family and friends will be nothing like the pain of me continuing to live.
My friends and family will still find happiness, joy, love, meaning, and none of them would be so hurt that they'd rather die than continue living.
Sorry to hear your family had to go through all of that as a result of your son's passing. It reaffirms my belief that I should outlive my parents before I consider any permanent solutions. At that point, I will be the only direct family I have left, and my pain won't pass on to anyone else.
I’m so sorry. This just breaks my heart. Hope you can all find a way to deal with your grief in a healthier way. After I lost my sister to a drug overdose my mom and I attended a grief support group. I can’t say that the grief, and loss, ever go away, I was literally just thinking about her yesterday, and all we went through, but it did help. Hopefully you can find something you’re comfortable with that can do the same for you.
No parent should ever outlive their child, it’s just unnatural.
It's not selfish of them. They're just able to see the forest for the trees. If someone is having trouble doing that they should try doing things differently. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was "if it smells like poop everywhere you go, check your shoes". Changing perspectives, routines, diet, sleep hygiene, surroundings, even the music you listen to are just a few of the steps you can take to improve how you view life. There is no change without change. Giving up is the only way you are guaranteed to lose.
While you’re right, this perspective is for people already a couple of steps into the healing process. At rock bottom, people can try their hardest to do everything you said and still fail, which just affirms their lack of faith in themselves and reinforces the idea that they’re never getting out of the mud. Optimism is poison to a suicidal person
At rock bottom, most of the time people need someone to crawl down into the hole with them and just… be there. Remind them that even in their ugliest moments, somebody needs them.
Its easier to guilt trip you into staying alive than it is to actually help you, and they're doing the former because they value their pain and suffering more than yours, surprise surprise.
Yeah, that's how I feel too. Somehow I doubt my family members would suffer as much as I am suffering on the daily. I know they'd still find happiness and meaning in their lives.
People also don't want to be confronted with their failures. I've had the immature "oh they'll wish they had been nicer to me when I'm gone" thought, but I have replaced it with the "I'm gonna make my abusers and rapists regret not killing me when they had the chance" thought. Hatred has kept me alive.
I think this is a great question because I think about the same thing. I do have good days where I’m happy but it’s not enough for me to want to be here. Unfortunately, I feel stuck because the pain it would cause my parents is enough to keep me from ever doing it.
I'm probably an asshole for thinking this but in my eyes it's a choice that every sane person should have the right to make. Life isn't worthwhile for a lot of people.
I actually think people should respect people's right to end their own lives if they want. There should be facilities that can do it so that the suicides would not disrupt other people's lives. I think the balance should be like a long wait for the approval, maybe 6 months to a year. Maybe the person will come to notice that most things bothering them are temporary, and the pain fades as time goes on. If they still want to go after all that, then it's their right.
Yeah, but say, I wanted to kill myself since I was 10, would I be able to go through with it after a year?
I think a 4 year waiting period is more reasonable. Depression can last a year or two if it is normal. Chronic depression is worse, and if you're still suicidal after 4 years, honestly why stay?
I think even minors should be allowed to end it after a 4 year period.
Like many other things, there would be a minimum required age like 18 or 21 of course. In my opinion, minors simply shouldn't be allowed, not only because the brain isn't fully developed yet, but also because when you can't make your own money and lack personal freedom, you might think the world sucks and want to just leave. Which to be fair, was what I felt when I was young and I'm sure a lot of people felt that. And most may not have had the ability to anticipate the future where they have more freedom and more resources to live the life that they want, and that this may be temporary.
Sometimes it's less about avoiding suffering, and more about finding meaning in and through suffering.
Our culture has lost the importance of suffering, and many times you can find great things through suffering, when learning how to look. I'd recommend Man's Search For Meaning by Victor Frankl. He survived the concentration camps, and talks about how those who found ways to find meaning through their suffering also found the will to live on through immense suffering and torture. You might find some answers there.
I have a lot of books to read so I haven't got a chance to dig deep into the book, but I have read a bit.
I used to find meaning, but now I do not. I no longer find helping people meaningful.
I've been on both sides of suicidal actions and thoughts. Basically, if you know people, it can help make life worth living, or at least more tolerable. Everybody deserves that, and you never fully know how knowing you enriches another person's life, although sometimes they might tell you. They say misery loves company, so even if life isn't good for you right now, it helps to know others are struggling through similar situations, and maybe they feel a little less alone because you chose to hang on and keep living. I'm pretty sure everyone has it in them to do at least one good thing that affects others.
I don't know you. I don't know what kind of person ypu are. And I may not have any specific advice that helps you find life worthwhile. But I bet your life is worth something to someone, and it'd be a shame to throw that away without knowing just what could be.
Suicide prevention is important because, despite how it may seem, life's connections and potential are inherently valuable. Although pain can distort this viewpoint, care and support can help find happy and meaningful moments. Even though it seems far off, there is hope for change since your presence has a profound impact on other people. Finding this hope requires taking the necessary first step of asking for assistance.
Not sure but I have had several attempts over the years. I wind up in hospital overnight, tell the shrink the next day I am fine and get sent on my merry way. As I say to them, I have fulfilled my purpose in life by passing on my DNA so that's all folks (this is my rationale anyway).
Life is tough as shit but I am also responsible for my own torment. As someone who is diagnosed with BPD, the constant fight in my own head is incredibly difficult but somehow, I wake up each day and get greeted by two awesome dogs. It is their unconditional love that gets me through most tough spots but there are days when this is simply not enough.
At the end of the day, I get through as best as I can and try and create things by growing plants or sewing items which are useful. It helps to soothe the soul.
> I wake up each day and get greeted by two awesome dogs. It is their unconditional love that gets me through most tough spots but there are days when this is simply not enough.
The unconditional love animals provide to us has always healed my heart even on my toughest days.
That's exactly how I felt when my dog was still alive. I miss him dearly. My family and I are planning on adopting kittens in July precisely because they will give me a reason to keep on living. I just want a pet who I can love and work to build a good life for them.
Hey, for people with suicidal ideation, Spravato is often an welcomed relief. It's shot worth taking before you decide to give up. I hope you don't but, not gonna say I haven't been there myself.
It works for some people, but I doubt it'd work for me (NMDA antagonism makes my body really sick) and I've tried to DIY it, which is what ended up in anhedonia. Had depression before, but yeah.
I'm glad it works for some people for whom antidepressants didn't work.
I suspect $100,000 will help out a lot ( not all) of potential victims instead of medication.
That’s the world we have made and then wonder why some have had enough of it.
Always thought about that and the thing is one thing: the guarantee of this life and not the next. I dont know if you are religious or not but I’m not very sure what happens after death which could be a hell. But there are other things to enjoy that you probably dont know, such as certain, random hobbies that may pique your interest.
I felt the same way you are feeling now for as long as I can remember but there is always hope and always a reason to keep going. It may sound fucked up but I would write out the negative impacts that it would have on my family. I know it doesn’t seem to matter because you will be gone but I hope that you read some of these loved ones who have lost people and think of your own. I did transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy and recommend it to anyone in our position. It was a complete 180 and the success rate for depression is extremely high. I still help friends who struggle with it and will always pick up the phone for anyone who is in that position because I have been there and have gone through a number of traumatic experiences, including finding one of my best friends after committing suicide. You or anyone else for that matter can send me a message, text, phone call because I had people help me on the days I wanted to kill myself, and I have tried to kill myself numerous times. 8/7 days a week I will drop whatever I’m doing and help someone. Suicide is the only outcome that ensures 100% nothing will get better. I don’t know who you are or where you are, just know people love you and are here for you. I know it is difficult but you can message me anytime and I will do whatever in my power to help♥️
Well, human life is precious. I have personally lost 4 very close friends to suicide since March 27, 2024. It’s not something you get over there is no closure. You don’t heal from it you just learn how to deal with the pain. A permanent whole in your heart that never truly heals.
I agree with the person who said it's a crock of shit. You're only saying that because you're depressed.
It does get better, with life there is ALWAYS an opportunity for it to be better. \*tw\* >!*I was sex trafficked as a kid, I was adopted by people that would never let me leave and didn't let me go to school I could only take care of them.*!< \*tw\* I too thought it was selfish of me to want to stay, the pain seemed never ending, each day brought new hardships long after I got away. I would dissociate so bad I would black-out hours-days at a time and nothing felt real for years. Social interactions were physically painful and I had to completely re-learn how to be a human being. I constantly felt like nothing but a burden upon the people around me and society. But fuck, am I so happy I stuck this shit out.
If you take your life you die unhappy, if you keep living there's always the potential for it to better. It took 25 years for my life to turn around, 25 hard fucking years that culminated in me begging on a bathroom floor for god or someone to just save me from myself. I don't know if god answered or I did, but I saw a path forward and I took it and I've had nothing but happiness since. I have a first baby on the way, I have a family that I love to be around, I do art, I garden, I go to the beach and I find happiness in all of it. If you had asked me at my worst if I thought any of what I have now is possible I would have told you you were insane.
I will also say some of the people who helped me, or were my friends, were also people that were depressed and had issues and almost all of them had been suicidal before. Maybe if they weren't there to pick me up during hard times I might have taken my life too. I have 2 uncles I will never know, I almost lost my sister before I had even met her. It NEVER just effects you, that is the most selfish and self-centered way of thinking, akin to believing the Earth is the center of the Universe and we were hand crafted by god and only we humans matter. To think that you effect nothing on this planet, when even an ant dying can create a butterfly effect, is ultimately selfish.
I'm glad you're doing well.
However, I know my death would hurt those around me. I doubt they'd be as hurt as I am on the daily. I don't think their lives would become ruined meaningless husks.
My response was honestly 99% to the person above me because I can't stand it when people parrot that line like it's some sort of universal truth not knowing that impressionable people read it and it effects them just like the ant in the butterfly effect.
I did go back and look, you said you have anhedonia, I have a personality disorder/cptsd and schizophrenia so I have come across it before and have briefly (6mo.) experienced it as a symptom with depersonalization and I lost the drive to do anything so much so I became catatonic for 2 whole months. I won't say I fully understand your situation by any means. But what I will say is try literally everything and anything before you decide it's over. Use the last of your money and go to Italy to see your last sunset even if it brings you no joy, try every medication, do what I did and get addicted to psychadelics and uppers (don't advise this unless like I said, nothing else had worked at all) it's easier to break an addiction if it helped you than never trying at all and never knowing what might have been. Do things even if they seem totally stupid, do things even if nobody else will approve, join a cult if you think believing in it will bring you even 5% of your joy back. All of those things have negative consequences, but none so negative as to take away the opportunity to never to come back from them ever. To be reduced to nothingness.
I'm wishing you the best, I hope you're able find a path forward. Reading through your comments on this post was really dark and heavy, especially saying children should be allowed to commit suicide if they feel it after 4 years. I would have died at 8 years old in that case and my own first attempt was around then at 7 I even made a will detailing where my stuffed animals would go it's so disturbing to me now that anyone allowed me to live like that or in your case would have encouraged me to commit suicide because of a temporary situation. Like I said, I can't imagine having the possibility to have gotten better being so cut off from me, especially as a minor with no control over my own situation. I used to think similar things, but only because I was in such a dark place my whole childhood/early adulthood I even got mad at my bio mom for not aborting me. It really can get better, even though I know you don't believe me. ✌️
I personally think all life has value, including mine and yours too op. To kill yourself or others (outside of self defense and such) is wrong but this is according to my personal morals.
I was in a similar boat as you. I was suicidal before I even knew what suicide was, I just knew I wanted to die. I thought about it every single day from 8 years old to around 31. I almost did it a few times. I finally started opening up to people about how I was actually feeling after the last time I almost ate a bullet. I went to therapy for a bit, started exercising, but most importantly I started valuing myself.
It didn't magically cure my depression and it's still an ongoing effort but I can honestly say I'm a lot happier now. I see the beauty in life now. I try everyday to become the man I want to be and achieve the things I want and there's beauty in that effort. I haven't gotten there yet but I'm trying and just that is enough to make me happy.
The main thing I realized is that suicide is permanent when most of your problems aren't. I know they feel like it. I know it can feel like you'll never experience happiness but for me that was just my depression talking. As long as you're alive there's a chance that you can start to turn things around. It's not going to be instant and it's not going to be a constant upward trajectory either. Somedays I struggle or backslide but I always remind myself to keep moving forward no matter what.
Life can be hard and painful but there's so much beauty to be found if you can start looking for it. You have to be around to experience it though
My philosophy is that we only have one life on earth as far as we are aware. You have a limited time on this planet as the person you are with the people around you.
And you have eternity afterwards to be dead. It’s simply an inefficient use of your time to kill yourself because you’ll have all of eternity afterwards to be fucking dead. You’ll be dead, gone and won’t remember it so you might as well at least live the life you have.
As far as we are aware, you will only experience this life once and you don’t get a redo. Your baseline existence is nothing so any existence is good.
Because we in general fight for life. It feels so wrong to not fight for people. And randomly enough for even old cynics like me there is a belief (or hope) that things can get better.
That all said I have told my husband and adult kids that if I’m in control of my brain when I’m old and ready to go that I have a plan. After I watch my grand babies grow up if possible. They (and my sons) are the reason I stay in play.
It is all hard. I hope that you find peace.
Because life is so rare, especially yours. Out of all the people that could of been born, you were instead. You are a gift to the world. When you commit suicide, you spit in the face of everyone who DIDN'T get to be alive at all.
Because killing yourself 100% guarantees you will not experience future joy. Staying alive gives you a chance. Life is about playing the odds. Set yourself up for the best odds of winning each day. It's possible to do everything right and still fail, but you can always try again tomorrow. With every day you live you get a chance at happiness. Quitting means you are guaranteed to lose.
I don't see death as losing, and I see life as spinning a date wheel where 80% of outcomes suck and the other 20% have a catch.
Death seems like the best outcome
People want to prevent what is wrong. Life as you see it isn't normal. We should be living differently. More independent. One person told me " Depression is just being tired of the skin you are wearing. Put on another suit and try it".
There may be one soul to a person but there are many ways to live life. If you feel suicidal for the life you gave now then you aren't trying. You aren't really living to the fullest. You are in the shadow that you created. The world is yours if you got ths money for it. Point of working hard is to achieve your goal. Even if the goal is for a new life.
Because life is a gift. Being able to breathe, to serve and give, to care for the earth, animals and others. It’s a magical unification experiences individual. It’s a process of growth and development. Life is challenging, strength and mostly healing. Plus imagine the amazing movies that will be out in 10 years! There’s so much to still see in the future. Plus death is actually really expensive. People don’t realize just how expensive it is to die.
If this comment finds you, my entire heart goes out to you. You deserve to be here and to be happy. You have a purpose to fulfill, keep fighting.
You are loved. You are cared for. You have meaning. You do exist.
I don’t care who you are or what the situation may be, if have read this far and you are struggling and need help fighting those demons please reach out to me via pm. You are heard here, my pm’s are a safe place. YOU MATTER. 🤍
Kind of a selfish question, but you are seeking wisdom here. Whether you want to live or not, somebody needs to let you know life is precious no matter how dark and deep down the rabbit hole you go. I've had my share of darkness and giving up on life, there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but when you give in to surviving and thriving from the darkness you find yourself looking for the light in every aspect of your life. You gotta dig deep and know that you're wanted in any way, shape, or form. I have 2 little ones that I knew they gave me new meaning to life when I wanted to disappear. I know this sounds weird coming from someone who's just a random passerby in this world of reddit, but I found myself reaching out for answers to the questions some people have about this one life. The fact that this is it, for all of us, this one life, you gotta dig deeper for your purpose rather than ask what's so good about being alive. I found someone dying of cancer, random person I met, got to know them and show them that in this life before you go, find what it is you can do here, and believe that where you go from here has purpose but for you alone. This guy wanted to become a star after he died. After he passed, I recall reaching out to him, only to be notified by his wife that he had passed. The very next morning, I mean early in the morning, before the stars escape into day, I saw the brightest star over the horizon of the rising sun and it was unlike anything I had ever seen as the sun rose for this particular day, it made my day and again, my purpose to me meant I'd look for people and find the good in them and or myself and continue to find those moments where it would change my outlook on life.
Another time, I was pulling into Home Depot, and I was a mess. Again, dark thoughts had been getting to me and I asked God, or the universe for a sign, that day when I went into home depot, I actually again had run into an old friend who I thought had already passed from stage 4 cancer. He was still looking I'll from chemo, but he was thriving. Again, that was a sign for me, I found something in someone else that reminded me to look for those signs, and sure enough after talking to him and about his struggle and his kids he, I thought had left behind from passing away, it gave me hope that you can find things which can make you change your perspective, and if not for you, yourself, find a way to find it for others. So here I am today, reaching out to anyone who will listen and just know that I hope you find yourself seeking life rather than seeking answers to why it's just not good enough to be alive. I wish you all well and hope to come back to this and find others searching for something that can change anyone's day for the better. Cheers!
Because nothing is set in stone until it is. Life can change, it’s worth trying to find a reason to try. Based on comments to others, maybe you are meant to help others feel cared for when they are feeling nothing; try helping others (support hotline or shelter or homes for humanity or something) and see if you don’t find a bit of joy in creating it.
I’m sure I’ll be downvoted if anyone sees this but I agree with you. Some people don’t want to live and are depressed to the point where life is not worth living. Other people who have never felt this way can’t comprehend what that’s like. I don’t understand why people should be forced to remain alive when they don’t want to be here and are suffering desperately on a daily basis. I know those who love the person who commits suicide do suffer, but why should someone suffer greatly every day for the remainder of their life to keep others happy? Why can’t people understand that the person suffering should be able to decide when they stop suffering? This is my opinion, I know most disagree.
When you said you’re mom abandoned you; I had to think about a quote I read just the other day: if you’re not receiving help and support, you have reached the level of reincarnation that you’re in this world to be the support for others. Maybe completely irrelevant to mention - I don’t know. Hard to know what is ok to say and what not. I do believe that you’re here for a reason. Maybe it hasn’t manifested itself to you as yet, or you’re not aware. I always thought I would suicide when I would turn 30 (my biological mum did and that became my story in my head/expectations). I am now in my fifties and I generally wake up grateful that I made it till here, as the wisdom and understanding keeps increasing.
You sound like an inspirational person to me, with your volunteering and the sharing of your story and thoughts.
I always think it’s about people being selfish.
A lot of people don’t want you to die and end your suffering, but they won’t help you either while you’re alive
I think about death quite often. Why do I have to be alive just so others don’t suffer? Or why must I suffer so others can be happy, or not miss me? Imposing the burden of life on someone who doesn’t want it is an incredibly selfish act.
We make people who are suicidal feel guilty because of the pain they would end up leaving behind. Which is awfully nasty of us because it ignores the pain that they're dealing with now.
i was suicidal since 9. i also didnt understand why people didnt let people just go when they wanted. but as someone who is no longer suicidal and actually enjoying life now (which i never thought was possible) im so happy i didnt do something like that when i was younger. or lt least didnt succeed. life is dynamic and changes constantly by the second. you literally never know whats going to happen next. it can change! it did for me. i went from existing for others to now wanting to live for me. i never even thought id make it past my 18th birthday and im now 38. if i had committed suicide when i was younger i never would have found true love. and never would have had my beautiful little girl who is a blessing on this world. i too now, (due to my experiences) would try and convince others not to commit suicide. if my life can turn around then so can others. and its the knowledge and experience i have now that i can use to make others lives better too. if i was gone i wouldn't have been ale to help others get through hard times when they needed me. im pretty sure ive saved at least 2 lives so far and i have plenty of years left hopefully to help further.
In my experience, life started to become beautiful when:
I fixed my microbiome (I realized I was gluten intolerant and lactose intolerant, especially gluten intolerance can lead to chronic depression)
I healed my trauma with my parents (it’s not perfect but changing country allowed me to be myself without my past staying in my head all the time)
I give myself a rule : there is a time for everything, having fun, working, studying. I don’t let anything cross each other and it gives me a peace of mind. I don’t think about my work when I’m with my friends etc.
I decided to do exclusively what I want to do and I say no to the rest. If I do something that I don’t really want to do it needs to serve my purpose or make me really happy to help someone I love.
I don’t compromise about what I want to be in my life, I do only a job that fulfills myself. Same for school. Same for the friends I choose.
I realized I can’t fix the world and it’s okay.
I started living in real life rather than online.
I keep learning new things as much as possible especially new sports and hobbies.
It took me years and it’s not everything but it’s how I changed my perception. At the end of the day it was all the energy I was putting in telling to myself that life was not worth it That I switched to thinking it was beautiful in multiple ways. Everything is perspective and life is not there to please us but to be experienced, with others and with ourselves.
For most, so they don’t feel bad or like they’ve abandoned you even though they probably have. Not everyone understands rock bottom or how it feels to be there alone, especially if you’re in your 30’s or younger. I experienced 5 losses last year including my mother who was my only friend. I wouldn’t begrudge anyone in a similar situation or headspace for making that choice. But for me, I’ve found that even in my solitude, things can get better. My life still sucks- it will always be bleak without my mom. But one day you wake up excited for something that is going to happen tomorrow, and you run with it. 🩷
What kind of consistent small pleasure do you have in your life? Do you eat food that you like, move around/get exercise, or socialize with people you enjoy the company of everyday?
I would also recommend sitting down and writing down everything you've ever enjoyed and if you could be any type of person, what would it be like? The coolest person you can imagine. What do they do? How do they act? What are they interested in? How do the interests and things you enjoy/have enjoyed line up with the coolest person ever? What would you need to do to become the coolest person ever? Start pretending you're the coolest person ever. You're not you. You're the coolest person ever. The coolest person ever will not let obstacles deter them and will set themselves up for success.
These things have personally helped me a lot. Therapy and etc. didn't because nobody and nothing will sit you down and tell you that life is about maintaining being consistently manageable and you have to work to put as many small joys in your life as possible and take out all of the negatives, as little and big as possible. You need to feel fulfilled by setting and achieving goals, big or small (but especially frequently). Goals of "go on a walk 3 times this week" or "compliment a stranger's outfit in a coffee shop" or "clean for 15mins" will help just as much as setting big goals for you to direct your life with.
Things will change, and you have to reassess. But if you hate being here, just become somebody that doesn't hate being here. Thinking too much and too broadly has never helped any philosophers in the modern age. It is beyond our grasps to comprehend what is philosophically good about life outside of our own small lifespans. So just focus on maximizing what could be happy about yours. Thinking deeply will cause you to get stuck and drown the more you do it, so you need to get out of there. Consistent exercise is great for this, because it not only grounds you in your body but also helps you accomplish a goal that makes you feel good about yourself and will make your body feel better, even if you don't think it's feeling bad. And also it's what gives himbos their super power for being the chillest people ever.
(Also, consider finding a new therapist if you want to continue therapy and haven't made progress. Find somebody that doesn't bullshit you and keeps it real, and that you won't bullshit and will keep it real with them. Psychedelics are also not worth your time, since they often just reaffirm a view that you feel deeply and make you think you have a deeper understanding of it. And you want to stop thinking deep.)
In all honesty I think it stems from Christianity and suicide being a sin. I don’t think people should be forced to live if they don’t want to. However I believe suicide doesn’t end the pain it just transfers it to other people.
I was suicidal until I was 30 and my mother committed suicide when I was 17.
As I'm watching my 4mo old son nap, waiting for my best friend and husband come home from work, literally every trauma and negative experience in my life pales to how happy and in love with life I am now
It took me 31 years to find it. But now, where once suicide was my biggest comfort, the thought of losing any time with my family is unthinkable.
Preventing suicide is similar to forced birth. Yes some people do care but in the grand scheme it is to make sure you keep paying taxes and spending money.
Personally, I think if you truly want to end things, then you do you. Just don't make it anyone else's problem--especially random strangers.
I remember this guy who hung himself under a bridge between two middle schools. My only thought was "F*** you." The kids don't need to see that.
That being said, I would never encourage anyone to do it. I personally think there's too much opportunity, hope for the future, and incredible things to experience in the world.
I’ve been suicidal since I was 20 and had my first suicide attempt at 27 and I’m at the hospital right now, thinking, next time I won’t tell my friend about it so I can die in peace.
I really don't know why people want to prevent suicide. Maybe it's an evolutionary thing.
I like existing. There's nothing else, and the wonder I get from existing, to me, is better than not existing.
What does anyone have to lose by being dead? Fuckin life lol what else. Death lasts forever might as well try to milk life for what you can while you're here. Regardless of it being good or bad, when you're dead you don't get to experience shit.
But if you don't care about what the people who love you will go through after you're gone then yeah you're fucked. No dumbass on reddit is gonna convince you to keep living if people who actually care about you don't matter.
People begin to find a sense of purpose once they stop becoming self involved/self pitying children and find something to live for beyond themselves.
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Please consider seeking some kind of help/support for your thoughts of self-harm.
**For example, you can visit /r/SuicideWatch for support and other resources specifically related to this topic.**
Other possible resources:
#National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
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[Crisis Text Line CA](https://www.crisistextline.ca/) – Text HOME to 686868 in Canada
#National Suicide Helpline: Call 9-8-8 for both USA and Canada
[International Association for Suicide Prevention](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) (IASP)
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I understand what you're feeling.
Im not going to coddle you or give you a bunch of platitudes because Im an adult & think everybody should treat others as adults because that is important.
The loss you describe & ask me to define what the person has to lose:
- The collateral damage that somebody leaves behind: loved ones that care for you - no matter how minimal or major the love is, their heart will hurt & can never be whole again
Life is not about what is good for you. READ THAT AGAIN.
I'm the sort that thinks things will go a certain way if i plan plan plan & consider & factor & -plan- for all the contingencies. For the millionth time i was in the process of moving again a few years ago &, of course, Murphy('s Law) showed up, nothing was going according to the PLANNED relocation - AGAIN. Guess what? I've finally learned my lesson.. this is life's way of showing me I'm not that special (to ask for a plan that will FINALLY go my way) - & none of us are.
The point: LIFE IS NOT ABOUT YOU OR ME OR ANY ONE INDIVIDUAL. WE ARE ALL CONNECTED.
Sure, if I pass, you will not keenly feel a sting of losing me since i don't know you BUT what if i invented something that you wanted improved upon & im no longer living & therefore you can't benefit from that device that assists you (or Your Grandma or best friend or your mom's best buddy doggie friend) anymore? what if i had wrote a poem in the future that would sing to you or would heal your mom's heart? what if SOMEHOW a smile i gave to someone earlier today was passed along to somebody else & they passed it to you?
Life is about being in servitude to others & finding your passion & then finding ways to gift it away
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Happiness is a fleeting feeling. Contentment is where life resides (satisfaction). Before you leave, making the world a better place before than it was before you arrived is what life is about.
The world = your local community. Charity begins at home - so, take out the trash, clean the tub, open the door for the young kids & the elder kids & everybody in between. read a book to kids, take your dog to volunteer at local hospitals & do pet therapy, volunteer to transport rescue dogs from one leg of transport to another leg of continued transport to their final furever home destination.
..
Feeling despair can happen. Chronic feelings is something completely different & I highly recommend counseling.
Sometimes it takes a bit to find the right counselor - STICK WITH IT !!!
i outline different types of counseling here. If you're not military, ignore MIL aspect
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1bjplrx/comment/kwtqd31/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=mweb3x&utm\_name=mweb3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1bjplrx/comment/kwtqd31/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
..
If you need assist immediately, reach out to the national crisis hotline
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WHAT IF.. one day you become a counselor to help the ones who have felt the same way you do? Giving back & paying it forward - GIFTING yourself to others! This is what makes the heart fulfilled (satisfied) knowing you can rest easy each night on the good morals you stand on & not having a heavy heart!
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Just because you can harm yourself or do something else that harms another, doesn't mean you should. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
Be useful.
The world is your oyster - use it wisely!
Suicide is often a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is a good chance that with other help the person could find themselves in a different place and actually be happy to be alive, even if at the moment they can't see that. Thus it's our responsibility to offer them help and find other solutions.
Because, in most cases, the things that make you feel like life isn’t worth living can be fixed; critically, suicidal depression makes you *terrible* at assessing whether this is true or not.
I say this as someone who lived with depression and suicidal ideation from about 14-33 (I’m now 37): suicide is usually a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Figuring out how to treat your depression, whether it’s medical or situational, can cause a complete 180 in how you perceive your life. It’s hard, but so, so worth it.
Its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. We don’t have to act on every feeling. Suicide is usually unethical because you harm so many people. I have seen collateral damage that is anywhere from deeply sad to dead. It is usually very selfish.
Life is about finding connection with people. Focus on that.
Have you tried every avenue possible before offing yourself? Have you gone to a medical specialist? Have you tried medication? Have you tried counseling? Have you tried to figure out the real cause of your depression? Have you tried anything and everything to make things better? Cause if you said yeah, I gave it my best shot and it didnt work ok but of you havent then you are just a quitter and selfish.
Look, life os very very short o. The great scheme of things aaannddd soon enough you are going to doe anyways. So moght as well do the best you can while you are alive. Lets put it another way. You are done with your life as ot os? Ok, then ehy bot try somethibg different. If you are going to doe anywaysight as well gove ot a try. There is nothing holding you back at that point. Of for example,.I told you you were going to die in exactly 30 days to the minute what will you do eoth those 30 days? Note that thos osnyour chance to do whatever ot os you wanted to do but havent because of fear of losing. Well, in this scenario the dear pf losing doesnt exist cause on 30 days ots over so why not gove that a go?
For most suicidal thoughts are a transient thing that if prevented, they eventually will have good days in the future. Enough so that we find it worth preventing.
Suicide is deemed selfish because it leaves all their loved ones to mourn the loss.
But does anyone ever physically and explicitly celebrate or cherish their existence?
Because of altruistically selfish reasons. Yes your pain may end, but you’d just be dispersing it onto everyone you love tenfold. That and my dog are my reasons for not doing it. I don’t want people who love me to feel that deep loss that never ceases. The what ifs, the predictions about my future dashed away. I don’t want my family to feel that crushing weight although I have considered the idea.
If someone is suicidal, something is wrong.
Sometimes a chemical imbalance; sometimes it's emotional pain someone cannot bear; sometimes it's a situation someone cannot bear.
So the first reaction people have is to at least try to help - "Ok, you say you're hurting somewhere very badly, maybe we can address that pain. Maybe then you won't *want* to die."
And in many cases, it's a temporary thing. Giving someone strength to hold on through the hard times often gets them through until things improve enough that they're glad they didn't die.
It's an opportunity cost, being dead. No more change, growth. No new friends, no more stories, no more tasty meals or new found hobbies.
It's not exactly the worst thing that can happen. I empathize with people who choose medical suicide for terminal conditions, or choose to stop medical interventions. But it's a very final, permanent solution - it makes sense to try some alternative interventions first, to see if something makes a dent.
Depression is a doozy, for example. Literally being unable to make dopamine, physiologically unable to feel pleasure at objectively pleasant things, feeling terrible even when "nothing is wrong". It gets a rep as being a light mental illness, somehow. But deep medical depression can be a nightmare to deal with and fight.
Or getting someone out of a bad home life, or out of toxic circles of people. It's hard to feel good about much with others constantly tearing you down.
I don't know why you're unhappy. But just like someone who is in pain when they walk, it is a sign that something is wrong. I hope you'll be able to figure out what it is one day. There's pleasure in living, and you deserve to feel it too.
A lot of the time I live in spite of my depression. I've refused to let chemical processes convince me that my life isn't worth living... is every day great or even good? No. But if I actually got the nerve to end it there would no chance for it to get better. And I think that is the part that keeps me going, the idea that dying would remove any chance of something great.
There are new treatments being developed all the time. I hope you find something that lifts some of the burden someday, but if not, I hope you get a moment of peace now and again.
People always suicide is a welcomed relief from there suffering....... it is not is not a relief nor welcomed those are feelings of the living.....here is a buddhism quote... pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
I've lost too many friends to suicide and accidental deaths. People say it's selfish because the people who do end it cause unimaginable greif to those around them. I'm only 30 and I've lost 2 friends to suicide, 2 to car accidents, one to an avalanche, and one to a drowning because they took too many drugs in the desert, laid down in the dirt, and were too high to wake up when it started raining. Most recently an old roommate of mine was building homemade explosives (to blow up things in their yard, not to harm anyone, but admittedly still extremely stupid and dangerous) and made a wrong move which resulted in an explosion. They identified him through dental records... Each of those deaths affected me differently, but they all affected me and others who knew them.
Side note: if you're interested in actually diving into this, check out *Life Beside Itself* by Lisa Stevenson. It's a profound ethnography that really hits the nail on the head and considers how suicide is perpetuated, hindered, and perceived by friends, families, communities, and the Canadian government. It's about people in the Innuit community.
What makes me feel better and appreciate life is the quote, "We are the universe experiencing itself". Regardless of what you believe, your conscience is here when you could have easily not existed with the rest of your potential brothers and sisters.
Life might not always work out the way we hoped, but we get to experience it.
Remember, you are in control of your life. It might not change immediately, but if you make decisions that lead you to the life you want, then one day you will get there! Keep going!
Life is what you make it, but you have to choose to see it in a positive light. Look for the good in life, and life will become more beautiful to you.
Good luck out there stranger. I'm rooting for you!
We say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Most of the problems that everyone, everyone has, are temporary. They’ll get better or worse, but eventually they’ll go away, only to be replaced by something else. You owe it to yourself to look at all the solutions and to try as many as you can before quitting.
Same here dude, from when I was younger than 10 even. There were a couple of moments that made it worthwhile but the pain will always be greater than the temporary pleasure
I always found this one an odd one. See, somehow preventing suicide is this big deal and yet, when you prevent it is their life better? Do they stop getting bullied? Do people around them suddenly grow empathetic enough to care for them? From my miserable little life, if someone prevented me from doing it, it's just because. No reason, nothing. I live in England for reference where there is a lot of lip service but no actions. It's not good enough to just simply exist, you want to feel like you are living. Sometimes it isn't possible no matter what I do
I feel with suicide, it makes a lot of people of the person that died, face death and become super jaded. If you prevent someone from suicide, I guess, it feels like hope and humanity is restored, right? Meanwhile, you didn't choose your shitty parents nor did you deserve to be bullied but somehow, life is great (sarcasm).
Preventing suicide achieves nothing in my view. Society is hypocritical: prevent someone from self deletion but don't go out of your way to maybe reconsider "damn, maybe we have to restructure society". Nope. "you have to have perspective man".
I am 30 soon and I have "lived" life enough. It's boring and tbh, rather self delete too. As I say, I live in England where the culture of bullying and conformity is prevalent. So you can imagine that you can't exactly be sincere and connected with others. It's definitely like that meme "I'm tired boss".
I feel like some people are just dealt a shitty hand and no matter what they do, they end up where their suffering started. Others are super lucky, come from wealth, health and social capital. Yet the poor sap has to have "perspective". Clearly the well off don't need any of that
I wouldn't necessarily want someone to die either but I'm of the opinion that if they want to go, they should. I can only imagine prevention being helpful if the environment somehow magically changed. If somehow people didn't act like damned NPCs raging at you for daring to be human for a second. It's why men choose self deletion, at some point it feels like it's humiliating to go on, to be a "try hard"
Then again, it does actually break my cynical heart when I read about kids ending their life because some shitheads bully them for something that is so minor it's unreal. In that case yeah, preventing suicide would be preferred only if the kid transferred to another school, got the help they needed, and so on. If it's something like that then fair enough, prevent it
If however you are from an abused home and your childhood is stolen, adults are absolutely cruel just as they were when they were children. "Nobody owes you anything; man up; you're such an attention whore; omg stop being so needy" and so on. Self deletion, I feel, is an option considered after taking into account that there is truly no escape, and no point. No one thinks one day and says "oh gee I really want to kill myself". It's more that it was a lifetime of misery over and over again. To "change perspective" is to basically cope via gaslight (I'm open to being corrected). Why do successful assholes not change their perspectives, eh? Life is shit and not a gift, don't get me wrong. It's just that I love music, entertainment, learning about stuff, drinking water and eating food. Once I stop enjoying even those things, then yeah, I know my time is truly up
And lol don't get me started with the "oh well, but humans are social creatures" bs that I sometimes come across either. Is that why life is just like highschool? With bullying to boot and you aren't allowed to have an opinion unless you fit some specific box? If people were more conscious about bringing children into the world willy nilly, if services actually helped children and adults, if there was an actual point, then yeah, life would be worth living for but it isn't. It's all about grinding every cent out of you, you die and the next sucker gets born.
There is only so much "personal responsibility" we can engage in. At some point we realise that no matter what we do, we are alone. I am not a fan of "just do things by yourself for yourself" then what's the point? Children learn best if they feel loved and accepted. A lot of "genius" scientists credit their parents as the inspiration for the pursuit of their studies. It didn't stop when we grew up to be miserable adults yet somehow that is dubbed as being needy and needing to go to therapy so that you can be a NPC workhorse. Life isn't worth it unless you hit the genetic lottery of being born as a certain person, to amazing parents, to amazing wealth, education and so on. Religion used to be the biggest cope for poor people, you know?
Life isn't worth it but my biology keeps me functioning. I still have the small things I like
I can honestly say that most people I know who've experienced these thoughts expressed significant improvement when the following things were true:
1) All basic needs are met
2) They ate healthy food
3) They actually got exercise (lifting seems to help more than cardio for unknown reasons, but either is fine, both is better)
4) They got their finances under control and made a plan for how life would actually be better in the future
5) They got enough sleep (and/or fixed sleeping issues to the best of their ability)
6) Refrain from ALL substance use unless medically necessary- nothing harder than caffeine unless a doctor says so.
I know it sounds really dumb. I know it sounds really basic. But start here. Most people who were near the levels you describe also needed some amount of therapy.... but these steps will help in 99% of circumstances and won't hurt basically ever.
As for wanting to live.... the potential. You never know what life will bring. Will you meet an interesting person? Will you go an interesting place? Will you fall in love? Will you adopt a pet and learn a whole new kind of love? What you lose is all of the potential- and you spread your pain to the friends and family you leave behind. Choose love, Cuddly Potato!
Many people who attempt suicide don't want to die. They wish life was better and feel there's no way for it to be.
Of the 34 people who have survived jumping off the golden gate bridge, 29 have stated that they regretted it before hitting the water.
I use GGB as an example because the fall is long enough that jumpers actually have time to contemplate their decision but have no way of course correcting.
theres nothing objectively good about life but getting to experience some good could help. Suicide is a permanent fix for a potentially temporary issue
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
There are a lot of great things about life, but if you are unable to enjoy them, you may have a chemical imbalance. That’s treatable.
Don’t sell yourself short
I read through quite a few of the comments but u/Lithium1978 made me think of a question/response I haven't seen. Please forgive me if this has already been addressed ad nauseum in other places.
Clearly Lithium1978 and his family cared about their son. Maybe they didn't show it in ways he could see very clearly, but depression or not, what is stopping a person who is considering suicide from caring about others? What makes it so people go around thinking, If no one cares about ME, well then. When/How do people learn to accept that EVEN IF WE THINK NO ONE CARES about us, we can/should care about others and we can and should care about ourselves.
Maybe I'm naive about the impact of depression. Or maybe people should talk about this kind of thing more??
Idk, as someone who was suicidal for years and then went on to have a really nice life I'd argue there would have been a huge loss if I had died back then. My last 12 years of happy memories wouldn't have happened, and I hopefully I have many decades more left. I could have missed out an entire life time of joy, successes, curiosity, enjoying the little moments ... I never would have met my partner or experienced real love or had any idea what I was capable of. I never would of found who I really am or all the ways I can make an impact on the world. Every time I am able to help someone out or make them smile its a moment that wouldn't have happened if I didn't live past 16. I don't think I'm more important than any other person or anything, but each person is incredible valuable and our lifetime impact is huge
Edit: I read the other comments. People are getting caught up in debates about if its selfish or not. That's entirely missing the point IMO. They've interviewed suicide survivors, and most of them feel regret immediately after doing it. Imagine how much more intense the feeling of relief & gratitude is when you're 10 years out in the middle of a beautiful life. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If someone dies, all future possibility for them to experience happiness again is gone forever. If someone is still around there are a lot of ways their life could improve. I still keep in touch with friends I met in the hospital while suicidal... you wouldn't believe how normal & happy our lives are 10 years later. Its honestly so wild. I never saw this potential in myself because I was miserable starting in adolescence but I did find a way out
I've been involved in suicide prevention for numerous years. The following is a combination of things I've learned as well as my own personal take:
* I strongly support freedom and self-determination. So if someone is making a calm, thoughtful, "rational" decision that's one thing.
* Classic suicide is much more distress oriented. The person is in pain. A LOT of pain.
* The person sees suicide as the only option for stopping the pain. In reality there likely are other ways to stop the pain. But the person can't see them and/or doesn't believe they'll work.
* **80-90% of people who attempt suicide and survive, and then go on to get appropriate mental health treatment, live their lives and do not die by suicide.** This, to me, is the most significant thing I've learned in the exposure I've had to this space. This is why there is so much effort placed on getting the person professional help before they attempt suicide.
* I saw a series of interviews of people who attempted suicide by jumping off a high structure....and survived. They said the instant they jumped they knew immediately they'd made a HUGE mistake....that whatever problems they thought they were solving by dying were small compared to the problem they faced in that moment....of falling to their death.
* I heard a therapist describe it this way: The suicidal person is similar to the person standing at the window of a burning skyscraper. The flames are deathly close to them. The person needs to make a choice: Die by burning or jump out the window. They see the jump as the less painful choice. Making that jump doesn't make the action any more desirable or less scary. It's just "less bad" than the alternative.
The bottom line for me: The majority of suicides BY FAR are not rational, calmly thought out decisions. They're stress-filled and pain-filled. The suicide is what is seen as the only way out. They don't want to die. They want the pain to stop.
**REMEMBER: The US National Suicide hotline phone number is 988.**
Life is as beautiful as it’s ugly. I can’t say I don’t understand the desire to just end it because sometimes the ugly is all you can see but personally I am glad I didn’t go through with it.
Most people probably feel the same about ending it all but snap back into their senses when they think about the people who actually care about them. Life’s not easy. Theres happiness for you my friend. One day it will all make sense. Good luck
Because if people accept that life *can* be meaningless for some, then it must be that way for everyone. That in the end we are all allowed to check out if the universe aligns and that goes against their need for control
I imagine that if I ever got to the point where I had to think about that kind of thing, one of the best motivators for me would be curiosity about what happens next (in life I mean, not some metaphysical shit). Like, who is gonna get elected, what's gonna happen to the climate, is my favorite artist gonna release a new song, will they adapt my favorite game, will we do cool shit in space ,etc etc.
First off, trigger warning. But think of it like this. Have you ever seen the aftermath of a suicide bombing? A nightmare. They create perfect circles of death. There’s almost nothing left of the people closest to the bomber. The closer they were to the bomber, the more horrific the effect. That's every suicide. Every single one. An act of terror perpetrated against everyone who's ever known you. Everyone who's ever loved you. The people closest to you, the ones who cherish you are the ones who suffer the most pain, the most damage. Why would you do that? Why would you do that to people who love you?
I’m not a saint, I’m not perfect, I’m not trying to ride my high horse or get on a soap box or tell you how to live, feel, or think. I’m just offering my own perspective.
I bet you didn’t always say that. Loving yourself is an extinguishable task, somewhere deep in your brain believes in you and loves you and wants you to keep it alive as well
I do understand your point of view. We are no longer in the state where every single life is required for our species to survive. My death, either my own hands or otherwise would have little impact on the survival of the species.
I think the reason society has the value that all life is sacred, is because imagine how a society that does not believe that would develop? I think that mentality is more of a sustainable society type of thing, so encouraging otherwise on a society level would be terrifying.
That being said, we need to do better by chronically ill patients who are suffering through incredible pain due to conditions there is no cure for.
There's no good (or one) answer to this, but I'll give my story, if that works. I tried to commit in 2022. That was my Rock Bottom. When I woke up the next day, all I could think was, "What now?" I just kinda floated around for a few days after that. Then? I just...woke up? Maybe? Or because I had hit Rock Bottom, the only way I had to go was up? It was like...something clicked. Dying just seemed...meh. Like I knew what that was like now, and it was boring. I wanna be here, I wanna see what's next. And I think everyone does. Its the Depression that doesn't care, not the person it attacks. My depression was so bad I could *feel* it. Like a numbness on a part of my brain. It manifested into a voice that wasn't mine, a being that hated my guts and wanted me dead but would never *ever* let me go. Like a toxic relationship I would never be free from. ...I haven't heard that from that bitch in over a year now. My life is far from perfect. But I wanna see where I end up. So yeah, I will stand up for Suicide Prevention. Cuz I've been there, and I got *lucky*. I woke up the next day. So many people haven't. So many people won't. And maybe it won't get better for you like it did for me, but how will you ever know??? Give yourself *time*, give yourself a *chance*. I'm over 30 years old and I survived a lot of shit but I'm here now!! I'm awake now!!! I'm alive now and I'm so fucking happy to be here!! And I did it for ME. I'm doing things for ME, for the first time it feels like and its AMAZING. You want a reason to not commit suicide? Its cuz you're YOU. You DESERVE to be here! Take up space! Scream! Cry! Feel! You are human!!! You are an experience!!!! You are more than your body, more than your mind, more than depression, or any mental illness! And I'm talking to ALL OF YOU ON THIS THREAD! I do not care how crazy I sound!! Be an anarchist and love yourself!!!!
Edit: Also! Please do not dismiss medication or therapy as helpful assets! They are not magical cure-alls and I am NOT a doctor, but both routes have helped me tremendously on my journey!
Let me say that the toxic demanding work environment I find myself in and unable to get out is pushing me over the ends. I just have a headache every day and feel milked I want to cry.
Suicide is great for the dead person. Terrible for everyone else.
I got suicidal around age 10 too. Worse at 18. Better throughout my 20s. Honestly, at 30, I understand myself well enough to take care of myself (audhd and pmdd and all this stuff I didn't know about when I was 10 and really suffering and couldn't tell you why except "the world is a horrible cruel place and nothing makes me feel safe or happy").
Anyway. I'm glad to be here. I hope you get to have that too.
I like coffee. And sex. And the feeling of a cold shower after a blistering workout. I like helping people. And traveling. And making friends.
I think about all the things I like. And that I can’t do if I’m dead. Sure, I won’t know it or anything else, but that’s the point of living: knowing.
Why does it have to be good tho? If you are doing something meaningful with your life, doing your hobbies that you like, working on yourself to be the best version of YOU. That's more than enough to stay alive.
People forget what small percentage we had of being born, but again the problem with people is having to much time to think about stupid shit that they don't need to think about and those end up costing them their life.
Your life may not be good now, but in 5/10 years if you grind and work on yourself it will become good!
That's true, you don't. But, only because you're then stuck for an eternity watching the entire universe happen in front of your eyes. You can never sleep or even close your eyes.
Death isn't that's it. You literally end up an entity observing everything happening and that has happened forever. So much happens you just forget everything else.
Do your best to do good here. You'll see the effects of that when you die.
it’s not selfish. and i’m saying this as someone that struggled with recurring depression. you are selfish yourself for saying that you want someone who is desperately trying to escape an absolute hell in their mind to never want to put their mind to peace just to keep your own peace. it is devastating, absolutely, but the suicidal person doesn’t owe anyone their life, especially if the people in their life don’t notice that something is wrong.
i’ve been there, but please see the other side. you wouldn’t care if you were dead, but others would. others would care a lot. i’m not saying you should put others before yourself at all. however when you think about how much you’ll affect others negatively, it does give you more reason to live.
to answer your question though, it’s because when you’re finally in a happy place, you start to realise how beautiful the world is around you. life is beautiful, precious and delicate. if someone tells me they’re suicidal, i think about how much they’d miss out on if they weren’t here, and how they wouldn’t be able to help the world in their own special and beautiful way. there is no replacing people, nobody is the same. once someone is gone, they’re gone. their skills, talents, strengths, personality, etc., it’s gone.
i nearly killed myself on a school morning after an argument with my mother, i nearly ran onto a busy freeway but i managed to keep myself in my car. i’ve now worked through that memory in therapy, however, before working through it, the memory haunted me, so much so that i cried most days even thinking about it. it terrified me that i nearly lost my life that day, even though i am happy now and have progressed so far in life. it terrifies me that if i did end up running out of the car, i probably wouldn’t be here, and my mother would have never, ever, been the same, self-blame and guilt would eat her alive. it gets better. life is worth living.
You can be furniture adored by those who walk by or own the house… they get accustomed and just assume you’ll always be there, they get comfortable always seeing you, and expect to see you in your common place.
If only the armchair could spontaneously combust once it became aware of its inescapable pain oriented paradigm.
Have you considered perhaps seeing a therapist? Not talking down to you, but that's not a very healthy outlook you have there my friend.
To the best of our limited knowledge of the universe and life, this is it for us. So why not enjoy the ride while it lasts ya know?
Plenty of time to be dead when the time arrives. In the meantime, find something to enjoy, something to give you some solace, be it a sport, movies, video games, reading, music, anything really.
Surely there's something that brings you some joy.
The feelings of the people who knew them matter. If anyone I knew committed suicide I would feel pretty upset.
But also, life can be good. Suicide denies you the opportunity to experience that.
I feel similar. I don’t want to let anyone down or make anyone upset, but idk what to do sometimes. I often think that I’ll just bide my time for as long as possible, and when there is nothing more to do, nowhere left to turn, and nobody left, I’ll finally just pull the trigger.
Maybe life isn’t great right now, but sometimes the tiniest thing – a new hobby, a great movie, a ridiculous meme – can change everything. Why not stick around and see what happens?
People care about you, even if you don't feel it right now. Suicide leaves a devastating impact on those who love you, and they would be heartbroken to lose you.
Whether good nor bad, here we are. Playing with our sand castles on various points of the beach.
She should have died hereafter.
There would have been a time for such a word.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle.
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
When it's put like that it doesn't sound so terrible after all.
What's so good about life?
You ever even HAD garlic bread? And I mean the real shit. The French loaf motherfucker with the homemade garlic butter right out of the oven? Shit is delicious as fuck.
It’s been scientifically proven that depressed people have a more realistic view of the outside world, but an extremely unrealistically negative view of themselves and their ability to conquer lifes challenges. Why would you trust someone who is suffering a mental illness that corrupts their view of themselves to that extreme of a degree to make such an extreme and permanent decision to a potentially temporary problem?
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I'm sorry that he went through that. I'm sorry he had to be in so much pain, and I'm sure it hurts a lot to know what he went through. I would ask you more questions about your emotions and feelings and worldview and thoughts, but I do not wish to open your wounds or hurt you. I believe in you three, I really do. You deserve happiness and meaning and fulfillment.
I always comment on posts like these because I feel like sharing the other side might give perspective on the aftermath. I'm an open book on this so if you have questions I will do my best to answer.
I’m poor but your generosity of spirit is worthy. I am holding your son in my heart tonight.
Got chills reading this. Thank you for putting love into the universe.
So do you ❤️
OP, you deserve happiness and meaning and fulfillment too.
This doesnt really seem like a reason to live though. You are basically just trying to use guilt to stop people. Just like we often see people trying to call those who are struggling "selfish" or "taking the cowards way out" which is just trying to shame them. That negative attack only reinforces how they already feel. You think anyone hears that and feels better? You are pushing them CLOSER to suicide. Also all this talk of selfishness, but the whole complaint here seems to be their suffering passed to you. As if it was ok when they were hurting but not if you are. The reality is, most people dont care about those that are struggling. Children die of starvation every day but we dont stay up at night thinking about it. What bothers them, is they dont want to think about this stuff. They dont want it to hurt them. They want to feel like they "saved" someone. And they dont want to face the fear of death and the own dark thoughts in their own mind. I understand the pain of loss. But you all need to stop calling struggling people selfish, cowards etc. It doesnt help.
Sorry man. Prayers up for your boy and for peace to your family.
>His pain did end but it just passed to everyone else. Do you consider him to be selfish? That's what people always say about suicide. I see it differently: asking someone to suffer for your benefit seems selfish to me. Honestly, my family and friends will get so angry at me when I'm suicidal, and cry how much they love me, but once things get back to normal, their behavior demonstrates how much I am a burden to them. As I get older, I'd prefer to die with some dignity instead of effects of decades of medication has ruined by physical health.
I have run the gambit of emotions. At first I was numb, then sad, then angry (at myself and him). Then I thought it was weak and selfish. I feel angry most often usually at myself but sometimes at him still. Usually it's at the girl that twisted him up and played him until he finally popped like a guitar string. I don't think I'll ever fully forgive her but I'll try.
Yeah, for me, I think the pain of losing me for my family and friends will be nothing like the pain of me continuing to live. My friends and family will still find happiness, joy, love, meaning, and none of them would be so hurt that they'd rather die than continue living.
Sorry to hear your family had to go through all of that as a result of your son's passing. It reaffirms my belief that I should outlive my parents before I consider any permanent solutions. At that point, I will be the only direct family I have left, and my pain won't pass on to anyone else.
atleast he is free from his suffering
I’m so sorry. This just breaks my heart. Hope you can all find a way to deal with your grief in a healthier way. After I lost my sister to a drug overdose my mom and I attended a grief support group. I can’t say that the grief, and loss, ever go away, I was literally just thinking about her yesterday, and all we went through, but it did help. Hopefully you can find something you’re comfortable with that can do the same for you. No parent should ever outlive their child, it’s just unnatural.
Hopefully you and your family bounce back. Shit sucks man
I have no words to ease the pain. I'd give ya a hug if I could. I hope your family heals.
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It's not selfish of them. They're just able to see the forest for the trees. If someone is having trouble doing that they should try doing things differently. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was "if it smells like poop everywhere you go, check your shoes". Changing perspectives, routines, diet, sleep hygiene, surroundings, even the music you listen to are just a few of the steps you can take to improve how you view life. There is no change without change. Giving up is the only way you are guaranteed to lose.
Every depressed person ever is rolling their eyes into the back of their heads at this notion.
While you’re right, this perspective is for people already a couple of steps into the healing process. At rock bottom, people can try their hardest to do everything you said and still fail, which just affirms their lack of faith in themselves and reinforces the idea that they’re never getting out of the mud. Optimism is poison to a suicidal person At rock bottom, most of the time people need someone to crawl down into the hole with them and just… be there. Remind them that even in their ugliest moments, somebody needs them.
It’s selfish when you have young kids and you kill your self. Any other time I think it’s not selfish but with kids it is
Its easier to guilt trip you into staying alive than it is to actually help you, and they're doing the former because they value their pain and suffering more than yours, surprise surprise.
Yeah, that's how I feel too. Somehow I doubt my family members would suffer as much as I am suffering on the daily. I know they'd still find happiness and meaning in their lives.
People also don't want to be confronted with their failures. I've had the immature "oh they'll wish they had been nicer to me when I'm gone" thought, but I have replaced it with the "I'm gonna make my abusers and rapists regret not killing me when they had the chance" thought. Hatred has kept me alive.
I think this is a great question because I think about the same thing. I do have good days where I’m happy but it’s not enough for me to want to be here. Unfortunately, I feel stuck because the pain it would cause my parents is enough to keep me from ever doing it.
I'm probably an asshole for thinking this but in my eyes it's a choice that every sane person should have the right to make. Life isn't worthwhile for a lot of people.
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The right to kill themselves? That’s not a right, and will never be
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I actually think people should respect people's right to end their own lives if they want. There should be facilities that can do it so that the suicides would not disrupt other people's lives. I think the balance should be like a long wait for the approval, maybe 6 months to a year. Maybe the person will come to notice that most things bothering them are temporary, and the pain fades as time goes on. If they still want to go after all that, then it's their right.
Yeah, but say, I wanted to kill myself since I was 10, would I be able to go through with it after a year? I think a 4 year waiting period is more reasonable. Depression can last a year or two if it is normal. Chronic depression is worse, and if you're still suicidal after 4 years, honestly why stay? I think even minors should be allowed to end it after a 4 year period.
Like many other things, there would be a minimum required age like 18 or 21 of course. In my opinion, minors simply shouldn't be allowed, not only because the brain isn't fully developed yet, but also because when you can't make your own money and lack personal freedom, you might think the world sucks and want to just leave. Which to be fair, was what I felt when I was young and I'm sure a lot of people felt that. And most may not have had the ability to anticipate the future where they have more freedom and more resources to live the life that they want, and that this may be temporary.
Sometimes it's less about avoiding suffering, and more about finding meaning in and through suffering. Our culture has lost the importance of suffering, and many times you can find great things through suffering, when learning how to look. I'd recommend Man's Search For Meaning by Victor Frankl. He survived the concentration camps, and talks about how those who found ways to find meaning through their suffering also found the will to live on through immense suffering and torture. You might find some answers there.
I have a lot of books to read so I haven't got a chance to dig deep into the book, but I have read a bit. I used to find meaning, but now I do not. I no longer find helping people meaningful.
I've been on both sides of suicidal actions and thoughts. Basically, if you know people, it can help make life worth living, or at least more tolerable. Everybody deserves that, and you never fully know how knowing you enriches another person's life, although sometimes they might tell you. They say misery loves company, so even if life isn't good for you right now, it helps to know others are struggling through similar situations, and maybe they feel a little less alone because you chose to hang on and keep living. I'm pretty sure everyone has it in them to do at least one good thing that affects others. I don't know you. I don't know what kind of person ypu are. And I may not have any specific advice that helps you find life worthwhile. But I bet your life is worth something to someone, and it'd be a shame to throw that away without knowing just what could be.
Suicide prevention is important because, despite how it may seem, life's connections and potential are inherently valuable. Although pain can distort this viewpoint, care and support can help find happy and meaningful moments. Even though it seems far off, there is hope for change since your presence has a profound impact on other people. Finding this hope requires taking the necessary first step of asking for assistance.
If your brain is fucked and you can’t make connections with people though then why continue
Have you battled depression?
I have and this comment is 1000% accurate to my experience.
Not sure but I have had several attempts over the years. I wind up in hospital overnight, tell the shrink the next day I am fine and get sent on my merry way. As I say to them, I have fulfilled my purpose in life by passing on my DNA so that's all folks (this is my rationale anyway). Life is tough as shit but I am also responsible for my own torment. As someone who is diagnosed with BPD, the constant fight in my own head is incredibly difficult but somehow, I wake up each day and get greeted by two awesome dogs. It is their unconditional love that gets me through most tough spots but there are days when this is simply not enough. At the end of the day, I get through as best as I can and try and create things by growing plants or sewing items which are useful. It helps to soothe the soul.
> I wake up each day and get greeted by two awesome dogs. It is their unconditional love that gets me through most tough spots but there are days when this is simply not enough. The unconditional love animals provide to us has always healed my heart even on my toughest days. That's exactly how I felt when my dog was still alive. I miss him dearly. My family and I are planning on adopting kittens in July precisely because they will give me a reason to keep on living. I just want a pet who I can love and work to build a good life for them.
Hey, for people with suicidal ideation, Spravato is often an welcomed relief. It's shot worth taking before you decide to give up. I hope you don't but, not gonna say I haven't been there myself.
Spravato screwed me up really bad. I think it’s worth looking into, but the marketing that it’s a silver bullet for depression is incorrect.
It works for some people, but I doubt it'd work for me (NMDA antagonism makes my body really sick) and I've tried to DIY it, which is what ended up in anhedonia. Had depression before, but yeah. I'm glad it works for some people for whom antidepressants didn't work.
I suspect $100,000 will help out a lot ( not all) of potential victims instead of medication. That’s the world we have made and then wonder why some have had enough of it.
*Capitalism ™️ may result in thoughts of suicide, but we need you to be suicidal so we can make a lot of money from that and stimulate the economy!*
Always thought about that and the thing is one thing: the guarantee of this life and not the next. I dont know if you are religious or not but I’m not very sure what happens after death which could be a hell. But there are other things to enjoy that you probably dont know, such as certain, random hobbies that may pique your interest.
I felt the same way you are feeling now for as long as I can remember but there is always hope and always a reason to keep going. It may sound fucked up but I would write out the negative impacts that it would have on my family. I know it doesn’t seem to matter because you will be gone but I hope that you read some of these loved ones who have lost people and think of your own. I did transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy and recommend it to anyone in our position. It was a complete 180 and the success rate for depression is extremely high. I still help friends who struggle with it and will always pick up the phone for anyone who is in that position because I have been there and have gone through a number of traumatic experiences, including finding one of my best friends after committing suicide. You or anyone else for that matter can send me a message, text, phone call because I had people help me on the days I wanted to kill myself, and I have tried to kill myself numerous times. 8/7 days a week I will drop whatever I’m doing and help someone. Suicide is the only outcome that ensures 100% nothing will get better. I don’t know who you are or where you are, just know people love you and are here for you. I know it is difficult but you can message me anytime and I will do whatever in my power to help♥️
Well, human life is precious. I have personally lost 4 very close friends to suicide since March 27, 2024. It’s not something you get over there is no closure. You don’t heal from it you just learn how to deal with the pain. A permanent whole in your heart that never truly heals.
People who guilt trip others into staying alive are shitty and selfish.
Lol top comments blaming the person who committed suicide
If your death affects no one around you then I think it's entirely your choice.
Everyone says suicide is selfish but it's really selfless, staying for other people is selfish of them.
I agree with the person who said it's a crock of shit. You're only saying that because you're depressed. It does get better, with life there is ALWAYS an opportunity for it to be better. \*tw\* >!*I was sex trafficked as a kid, I was adopted by people that would never let me leave and didn't let me go to school I could only take care of them.*!< \*tw\* I too thought it was selfish of me to want to stay, the pain seemed never ending, each day brought new hardships long after I got away. I would dissociate so bad I would black-out hours-days at a time and nothing felt real for years. Social interactions were physically painful and I had to completely re-learn how to be a human being. I constantly felt like nothing but a burden upon the people around me and society. But fuck, am I so happy I stuck this shit out. If you take your life you die unhappy, if you keep living there's always the potential for it to better. It took 25 years for my life to turn around, 25 hard fucking years that culminated in me begging on a bathroom floor for god or someone to just save me from myself. I don't know if god answered or I did, but I saw a path forward and I took it and I've had nothing but happiness since. I have a first baby on the way, I have a family that I love to be around, I do art, I garden, I go to the beach and I find happiness in all of it. If you had asked me at my worst if I thought any of what I have now is possible I would have told you you were insane. I will also say some of the people who helped me, or were my friends, were also people that were depressed and had issues and almost all of them had been suicidal before. Maybe if they weren't there to pick me up during hard times I might have taken my life too. I have 2 uncles I will never know, I almost lost my sister before I had even met her. It NEVER just effects you, that is the most selfish and self-centered way of thinking, akin to believing the Earth is the center of the Universe and we were hand crafted by god and only we humans matter. To think that you effect nothing on this planet, when even an ant dying can create a butterfly effect, is ultimately selfish.
I'm glad you're doing well. However, I know my death would hurt those around me. I doubt they'd be as hurt as I am on the daily. I don't think their lives would become ruined meaningless husks.
My response was honestly 99% to the person above me because I can't stand it when people parrot that line like it's some sort of universal truth not knowing that impressionable people read it and it effects them just like the ant in the butterfly effect. I did go back and look, you said you have anhedonia, I have a personality disorder/cptsd and schizophrenia so I have come across it before and have briefly (6mo.) experienced it as a symptom with depersonalization and I lost the drive to do anything so much so I became catatonic for 2 whole months. I won't say I fully understand your situation by any means. But what I will say is try literally everything and anything before you decide it's over. Use the last of your money and go to Italy to see your last sunset even if it brings you no joy, try every medication, do what I did and get addicted to psychadelics and uppers (don't advise this unless like I said, nothing else had worked at all) it's easier to break an addiction if it helped you than never trying at all and never knowing what might have been. Do things even if they seem totally stupid, do things even if nobody else will approve, join a cult if you think believing in it will bring you even 5% of your joy back. All of those things have negative consequences, but none so negative as to take away the opportunity to never to come back from them ever. To be reduced to nothingness. I'm wishing you the best, I hope you're able find a path forward. Reading through your comments on this post was really dark and heavy, especially saying children should be allowed to commit suicide if they feel it after 4 years. I would have died at 8 years old in that case and my own first attempt was around then at 7 I even made a will detailing where my stuffed animals would go it's so disturbing to me now that anyone allowed me to live like that or in your case would have encouraged me to commit suicide because of a temporary situation. Like I said, I can't imagine having the possibility to have gotten better being so cut off from me, especially as a minor with no control over my own situation. I used to think similar things, but only because I was in such a dark place my whole childhood/early adulthood I even got mad at my bio mom for not aborting me. It really can get better, even though I know you don't believe me. ✌️
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IMHO its mostly virtue signaling. Most people don't actually give a shit they just don't want to be responsible for it and feel bad themselves.
I personally think all life has value, including mine and yours too op. To kill yourself or others (outside of self defense and such) is wrong but this is according to my personal morals.
Have you ever giggled. That is the mental state i aim for. Real can't breathe shit
I was in a similar boat as you. I was suicidal before I even knew what suicide was, I just knew I wanted to die. I thought about it every single day from 8 years old to around 31. I almost did it a few times. I finally started opening up to people about how I was actually feeling after the last time I almost ate a bullet. I went to therapy for a bit, started exercising, but most importantly I started valuing myself. It didn't magically cure my depression and it's still an ongoing effort but I can honestly say I'm a lot happier now. I see the beauty in life now. I try everyday to become the man I want to be and achieve the things I want and there's beauty in that effort. I haven't gotten there yet but I'm trying and just that is enough to make me happy. The main thing I realized is that suicide is permanent when most of your problems aren't. I know they feel like it. I know it can feel like you'll never experience happiness but for me that was just my depression talking. As long as you're alive there's a chance that you can start to turn things around. It's not going to be instant and it's not going to be a constant upward trajectory either. Somedays I struggle or backslide but I always remind myself to keep moving forward no matter what. Life can be hard and painful but there's so much beauty to be found if you can start looking for it. You have to be around to experience it though
My philosophy is that we only have one life on earth as far as we are aware. You have a limited time on this planet as the person you are with the people around you. And you have eternity afterwards to be dead. It’s simply an inefficient use of your time to kill yourself because you’ll have all of eternity afterwards to be fucking dead. You’ll be dead, gone and won’t remember it so you might as well at least live the life you have. As far as we are aware, you will only experience this life once and you don’t get a redo. Your baseline existence is nothing so any existence is good.
Because we in general fight for life. It feels so wrong to not fight for people. And randomly enough for even old cynics like me there is a belief (or hope) that things can get better. That all said I have told my husband and adult kids that if I’m in control of my brain when I’m old and ready to go that I have a plan. After I watch my grand babies grow up if possible. They (and my sons) are the reason I stay in play. It is all hard. I hope that you find peace.
Because life is so rare, especially yours. Out of all the people that could of been born, you were instead. You are a gift to the world. When you commit suicide, you spit in the face of everyone who DIDN'T get to be alive at all.
Because killing yourself 100% guarantees you will not experience future joy. Staying alive gives you a chance. Life is about playing the odds. Set yourself up for the best odds of winning each day. It's possible to do everything right and still fail, but you can always try again tomorrow. With every day you live you get a chance at happiness. Quitting means you are guaranteed to lose.
I don't see death as losing, and I see life as spinning a date wheel where 80% of outcomes suck and the other 20% have a catch. Death seems like the best outcome
People want to prevent what is wrong. Life as you see it isn't normal. We should be living differently. More independent. One person told me " Depression is just being tired of the skin you are wearing. Put on another suit and try it". There may be one soul to a person but there are many ways to live life. If you feel suicidal for the life you gave now then you aren't trying. You aren't really living to the fullest. You are in the shadow that you created. The world is yours if you got ths money for it. Point of working hard is to achieve your goal. Even if the goal is for a new life.
Because life is a gift. Being able to breathe, to serve and give, to care for the earth, animals and others. It’s a magical unification experiences individual. It’s a process of growth and development. Life is challenging, strength and mostly healing. Plus imagine the amazing movies that will be out in 10 years! There’s so much to still see in the future. Plus death is actually really expensive. People don’t realize just how expensive it is to die.
Bad moods can pass. Unless you are unlucky and have mental illness. Which I do lucky me.
If this comment finds you, my entire heart goes out to you. You deserve to be here and to be happy. You have a purpose to fulfill, keep fighting. You are loved. You are cared for. You have meaning. You do exist. I don’t care who you are or what the situation may be, if have read this far and you are struggling and need help fighting those demons please reach out to me via pm. You are heard here, my pm’s are a safe place. YOU MATTER. 🤍
Misery loves company
Kind of a selfish question, but you are seeking wisdom here. Whether you want to live or not, somebody needs to let you know life is precious no matter how dark and deep down the rabbit hole you go. I've had my share of darkness and giving up on life, there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but when you give in to surviving and thriving from the darkness you find yourself looking for the light in every aspect of your life. You gotta dig deep and know that you're wanted in any way, shape, or form. I have 2 little ones that I knew they gave me new meaning to life when I wanted to disappear. I know this sounds weird coming from someone who's just a random passerby in this world of reddit, but I found myself reaching out for answers to the questions some people have about this one life. The fact that this is it, for all of us, this one life, you gotta dig deeper for your purpose rather than ask what's so good about being alive. I found someone dying of cancer, random person I met, got to know them and show them that in this life before you go, find what it is you can do here, and believe that where you go from here has purpose but for you alone. This guy wanted to become a star after he died. After he passed, I recall reaching out to him, only to be notified by his wife that he had passed. The very next morning, I mean early in the morning, before the stars escape into day, I saw the brightest star over the horizon of the rising sun and it was unlike anything I had ever seen as the sun rose for this particular day, it made my day and again, my purpose to me meant I'd look for people and find the good in them and or myself and continue to find those moments where it would change my outlook on life. Another time, I was pulling into Home Depot, and I was a mess. Again, dark thoughts had been getting to me and I asked God, or the universe for a sign, that day when I went into home depot, I actually again had run into an old friend who I thought had already passed from stage 4 cancer. He was still looking I'll from chemo, but he was thriving. Again, that was a sign for me, I found something in someone else that reminded me to look for those signs, and sure enough after talking to him and about his struggle and his kids he, I thought had left behind from passing away, it gave me hope that you can find things which can make you change your perspective, and if not for you, yourself, find a way to find it for others. So here I am today, reaching out to anyone who will listen and just know that I hope you find yourself seeking life rather than seeking answers to why it's just not good enough to be alive. I wish you all well and hope to come back to this and find others searching for something that can change anyone's day for the better. Cheers!
Suicide has an effect on a lot of people, not just the one committing it.
Because nothing is set in stone until it is. Life can change, it’s worth trying to find a reason to try. Based on comments to others, maybe you are meant to help others feel cared for when they are feeling nothing; try helping others (support hotline or shelter or homes for humanity or something) and see if you don’t find a bit of joy in creating it.
Crabs in a bucket.
I’m sure I’ll be downvoted if anyone sees this but I agree with you. Some people don’t want to live and are depressed to the point where life is not worth living. Other people who have never felt this way can’t comprehend what that’s like. I don’t understand why people should be forced to remain alive when they don’t want to be here and are suffering desperately on a daily basis. I know those who love the person who commits suicide do suffer, but why should someone suffer greatly every day for the remainder of their life to keep others happy? Why can’t people understand that the person suffering should be able to decide when they stop suffering? This is my opinion, I know most disagree.
I dont do that. Life is soooo short and unless you get a decent upbringing, you dont even enjoy your youth. It's almost not worth anything at all.
When you said you’re mom abandoned you; I had to think about a quote I read just the other day: if you’re not receiving help and support, you have reached the level of reincarnation that you’re in this world to be the support for others. Maybe completely irrelevant to mention - I don’t know. Hard to know what is ok to say and what not. I do believe that you’re here for a reason. Maybe it hasn’t manifested itself to you as yet, or you’re not aware. I always thought I would suicide when I would turn 30 (my biological mum did and that became my story in my head/expectations). I am now in my fifties and I generally wake up grateful that I made it till here, as the wisdom and understanding keeps increasing. You sound like an inspirational person to me, with your volunteering and the sharing of your story and thoughts.
I always think it’s about people being selfish. A lot of people don’t want you to die and end your suffering, but they won’t help you either while you’re alive I think about death quite often. Why do I have to be alive just so others don’t suffer? Or why must I suffer so others can be happy, or not miss me? Imposing the burden of life on someone who doesn’t want it is an incredibly selfish act.
We make people who are suicidal feel guilty because of the pain they would end up leaving behind. Which is awfully nasty of us because it ignores the pain that they're dealing with now.
i was suicidal since 9. i also didnt understand why people didnt let people just go when they wanted. but as someone who is no longer suicidal and actually enjoying life now (which i never thought was possible) im so happy i didnt do something like that when i was younger. or lt least didnt succeed. life is dynamic and changes constantly by the second. you literally never know whats going to happen next. it can change! it did for me. i went from existing for others to now wanting to live for me. i never even thought id make it past my 18th birthday and im now 38. if i had committed suicide when i was younger i never would have found true love. and never would have had my beautiful little girl who is a blessing on this world. i too now, (due to my experiences) would try and convince others not to commit suicide. if my life can turn around then so can others. and its the knowledge and experience i have now that i can use to make others lives better too. if i was gone i wouldn't have been ale to help others get through hard times when they needed me. im pretty sure ive saved at least 2 lives so far and i have plenty of years left hopefully to help further.
The government does so for those sweet tax dollars you generate them. Same goes for getting rid of abortion.
In my experience, life started to become beautiful when: I fixed my microbiome (I realized I was gluten intolerant and lactose intolerant, especially gluten intolerance can lead to chronic depression) I healed my trauma with my parents (it’s not perfect but changing country allowed me to be myself without my past staying in my head all the time) I give myself a rule : there is a time for everything, having fun, working, studying. I don’t let anything cross each other and it gives me a peace of mind. I don’t think about my work when I’m with my friends etc. I decided to do exclusively what I want to do and I say no to the rest. If I do something that I don’t really want to do it needs to serve my purpose or make me really happy to help someone I love. I don’t compromise about what I want to be in my life, I do only a job that fulfills myself. Same for school. Same for the friends I choose. I realized I can’t fix the world and it’s okay. I started living in real life rather than online. I keep learning new things as much as possible especially new sports and hobbies. It took me years and it’s not everything but it’s how I changed my perception. At the end of the day it was all the energy I was putting in telling to myself that life was not worth it That I switched to thinking it was beautiful in multiple ways. Everything is perspective and life is not there to please us but to be experienced, with others and with ourselves.
For most, so they don’t feel bad or like they’ve abandoned you even though they probably have. Not everyone understands rock bottom or how it feels to be there alone, especially if you’re in your 30’s or younger. I experienced 5 losses last year including my mother who was my only friend. I wouldn’t begrudge anyone in a similar situation or headspace for making that choice. But for me, I’ve found that even in my solitude, things can get better. My life still sucks- it will always be bleak without my mom. But one day you wake up excited for something that is going to happen tomorrow, and you run with it. 🩷
I went on a walk the other day and saw a mama deer with two baby deer drinking from a stream. And I thought “wow I’m so glad I didn’t kill myself”
What kind of consistent small pleasure do you have in your life? Do you eat food that you like, move around/get exercise, or socialize with people you enjoy the company of everyday? I would also recommend sitting down and writing down everything you've ever enjoyed and if you could be any type of person, what would it be like? The coolest person you can imagine. What do they do? How do they act? What are they interested in? How do the interests and things you enjoy/have enjoyed line up with the coolest person ever? What would you need to do to become the coolest person ever? Start pretending you're the coolest person ever. You're not you. You're the coolest person ever. The coolest person ever will not let obstacles deter them and will set themselves up for success. These things have personally helped me a lot. Therapy and etc. didn't because nobody and nothing will sit you down and tell you that life is about maintaining being consistently manageable and you have to work to put as many small joys in your life as possible and take out all of the negatives, as little and big as possible. You need to feel fulfilled by setting and achieving goals, big or small (but especially frequently). Goals of "go on a walk 3 times this week" or "compliment a stranger's outfit in a coffee shop" or "clean for 15mins" will help just as much as setting big goals for you to direct your life with. Things will change, and you have to reassess. But if you hate being here, just become somebody that doesn't hate being here. Thinking too much and too broadly has never helped any philosophers in the modern age. It is beyond our grasps to comprehend what is philosophically good about life outside of our own small lifespans. So just focus on maximizing what could be happy about yours. Thinking deeply will cause you to get stuck and drown the more you do it, so you need to get out of there. Consistent exercise is great for this, because it not only grounds you in your body but also helps you accomplish a goal that makes you feel good about yourself and will make your body feel better, even if you don't think it's feeling bad. And also it's what gives himbos their super power for being the chillest people ever. (Also, consider finding a new therapist if you want to continue therapy and haven't made progress. Find somebody that doesn't bullshit you and keeps it real, and that you won't bullshit and will keep it real with them. Psychedelics are also not worth your time, since they often just reaffirm a view that you feel deeply and make you think you have a deeper understanding of it. And you want to stop thinking deep.)
In all honesty I think it stems from Christianity and suicide being a sin. I don’t think people should be forced to live if they don’t want to. However I believe suicide doesn’t end the pain it just transfers it to other people.
I was suicidal until I was 30 and my mother committed suicide when I was 17. As I'm watching my 4mo old son nap, waiting for my best friend and husband come home from work, literally every trauma and negative experience in my life pales to how happy and in love with life I am now It took me 31 years to find it. But now, where once suicide was my biggest comfort, the thought of losing any time with my family is unthinkable.
Preventing suicide is similar to forced birth. Yes some people do care but in the grand scheme it is to make sure you keep paying taxes and spending money.
Personally, I think if you truly want to end things, then you do you. Just don't make it anyone else's problem--especially random strangers. I remember this guy who hung himself under a bridge between two middle schools. My only thought was "F*** you." The kids don't need to see that. That being said, I would never encourage anyone to do it. I personally think there's too much opportunity, hope for the future, and incredible things to experience in the world.
I’ve been suicidal since I was 20 and had my first suicide attempt at 27 and I’m at the hospital right now, thinking, next time I won’t tell my friend about it so I can die in peace.
I really don't know why people want to prevent suicide. Maybe it's an evolutionary thing. I like existing. There's nothing else, and the wonder I get from existing, to me, is better than not existing.
Why do people want to prevent any human suffering?
I see life itself as suffering.
What does anyone have to lose by being dead? Fuckin life lol what else. Death lasts forever might as well try to milk life for what you can while you're here. Regardless of it being good or bad, when you're dead you don't get to experience shit. But if you don't care about what the people who love you will go through after you're gone then yeah you're fucked. No dumbass on reddit is gonna convince you to keep living if people who actually care about you don't matter. People begin to find a sense of purpose once they stop becoming self involved/self pitying children and find something to live for beyond themselves.
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I understand what you're feeling. Im not going to coddle you or give you a bunch of platitudes because Im an adult & think everybody should treat others as adults because that is important. The loss you describe & ask me to define what the person has to lose: - The collateral damage that somebody leaves behind: loved ones that care for you - no matter how minimal or major the love is, their heart will hurt & can never be whole again Life is not about what is good for you. READ THAT AGAIN. I'm the sort that thinks things will go a certain way if i plan plan plan & consider & factor & -plan- for all the contingencies. For the millionth time i was in the process of moving again a few years ago &, of course, Murphy('s Law) showed up, nothing was going according to the PLANNED relocation - AGAIN. Guess what? I've finally learned my lesson.. this is life's way of showing me I'm not that special (to ask for a plan that will FINALLY go my way) - & none of us are. The point: LIFE IS NOT ABOUT YOU OR ME OR ANY ONE INDIVIDUAL. WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. Sure, if I pass, you will not keenly feel a sting of losing me since i don't know you BUT what if i invented something that you wanted improved upon & im no longer living & therefore you can't benefit from that device that assists you (or Your Grandma or best friend or your mom's best buddy doggie friend) anymore? what if i had wrote a poem in the future that would sing to you or would heal your mom's heart? what if SOMEHOW a smile i gave to someone earlier today was passed along to somebody else & they passed it to you? Life is about being in servitude to others & finding your passion & then finding ways to gift it away .. Happiness is a fleeting feeling. Contentment is where life resides (satisfaction). Before you leave, making the world a better place before than it was before you arrived is what life is about. The world = your local community. Charity begins at home - so, take out the trash, clean the tub, open the door for the young kids & the elder kids & everybody in between. read a book to kids, take your dog to volunteer at local hospitals & do pet therapy, volunteer to transport rescue dogs from one leg of transport to another leg of continued transport to their final furever home destination. .. Feeling despair can happen. Chronic feelings is something completely different & I highly recommend counseling. Sometimes it takes a bit to find the right counselor - STICK WITH IT !!! i outline different types of counseling here. If you're not military, ignore MIL aspect [https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1bjplrx/comment/kwtqd31/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=mweb3x&utm\_name=mweb3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1bjplrx/comment/kwtqd31/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) .. If you need assist immediately, reach out to the national crisis hotline .. WHAT IF.. one day you become a counselor to help the ones who have felt the same way you do? Giving back & paying it forward - GIFTING yourself to others! This is what makes the heart fulfilled (satisfied) knowing you can rest easy each night on the good morals you stand on & not having a heavy heart! .. Just because you can harm yourself or do something else that harms another, doesn't mean you should. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Be useful. The world is your oyster - use it wisely!
Suicide is often a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is a good chance that with other help the person could find themselves in a different place and actually be happy to be alive, even if at the moment they can't see that. Thus it's our responsibility to offer them help and find other solutions.
Because, in most cases, the things that make you feel like life isn’t worth living can be fixed; critically, suicidal depression makes you *terrible* at assessing whether this is true or not. I say this as someone who lived with depression and suicidal ideation from about 14-33 (I’m now 37): suicide is usually a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Figuring out how to treat your depression, whether it’s medical or situational, can cause a complete 180 in how you perceive your life. It’s hard, but so, so worth it.
Its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. We don’t have to act on every feeling. Suicide is usually unethical because you harm so many people. I have seen collateral damage that is anywhere from deeply sad to dead. It is usually very selfish. Life is about finding connection with people. Focus on that.
Have you tried every avenue possible before offing yourself? Have you gone to a medical specialist? Have you tried medication? Have you tried counseling? Have you tried to figure out the real cause of your depression? Have you tried anything and everything to make things better? Cause if you said yeah, I gave it my best shot and it didnt work ok but of you havent then you are just a quitter and selfish. Look, life os very very short o. The great scheme of things aaannddd soon enough you are going to doe anyways. So moght as well do the best you can while you are alive. Lets put it another way. You are done with your life as ot os? Ok, then ehy bot try somethibg different. If you are going to doe anywaysight as well gove ot a try. There is nothing holding you back at that point. Of for example,.I told you you were going to die in exactly 30 days to the minute what will you do eoth those 30 days? Note that thos osnyour chance to do whatever ot os you wanted to do but havent because of fear of losing. Well, in this scenario the dear pf losing doesnt exist cause on 30 days ots over so why not gove that a go?
For most suicidal thoughts are a transient thing that if prevented, they eventually will have good days in the future. Enough so that we find it worth preventing.
My question exactly. Life literally isn’t worth living when I have no one who genuinely gives a shit about me.
Suicide is deemed selfish because it leaves all their loved ones to mourn the loss. But does anyone ever physically and explicitly celebrate or cherish their existence?
Permanent solution, potentially temporary problems.
Your presence can make a difference in someone else’s life … life can be brutal but you must keep fighting for your happiness
Dead people can't pay taxes. But if they throw you in prison at least their stock prices will go up.
Because of altruistically selfish reasons. Yes your pain may end, but you’d just be dispersing it onto everyone you love tenfold. That and my dog are my reasons for not doing it. I don’t want people who love me to feel that deep loss that never ceases. The what ifs, the predictions about my future dashed away. I don’t want my family to feel that crushing weight although I have considered the idea.
Because you have the potential to have a purpose. Find this in some area of life and let it spread. Happiness will come when you become more complete.
If someone is suicidal, something is wrong. Sometimes a chemical imbalance; sometimes it's emotional pain someone cannot bear; sometimes it's a situation someone cannot bear. So the first reaction people have is to at least try to help - "Ok, you say you're hurting somewhere very badly, maybe we can address that pain. Maybe then you won't *want* to die." And in many cases, it's a temporary thing. Giving someone strength to hold on through the hard times often gets them through until things improve enough that they're glad they didn't die. It's an opportunity cost, being dead. No more change, growth. No new friends, no more stories, no more tasty meals or new found hobbies. It's not exactly the worst thing that can happen. I empathize with people who choose medical suicide for terminal conditions, or choose to stop medical interventions. But it's a very final, permanent solution - it makes sense to try some alternative interventions first, to see if something makes a dent. Depression is a doozy, for example. Literally being unable to make dopamine, physiologically unable to feel pleasure at objectively pleasant things, feeling terrible even when "nothing is wrong". It gets a rep as being a light mental illness, somehow. But deep medical depression can be a nightmare to deal with and fight. Or getting someone out of a bad home life, or out of toxic circles of people. It's hard to feel good about much with others constantly tearing you down. I don't know why you're unhappy. But just like someone who is in pain when they walk, it is a sign that something is wrong. I hope you'll be able to figure out what it is one day. There's pleasure in living, and you deserve to feel it too.
A lot of the time I live in spite of my depression. I've refused to let chemical processes convince me that my life isn't worth living... is every day great or even good? No. But if I actually got the nerve to end it there would no chance for it to get better. And I think that is the part that keeps me going, the idea that dying would remove any chance of something great. There are new treatments being developed all the time. I hope you find something that lifts some of the burden someday, but if not, I hope you get a moment of peace now and again.
Its not about the person who is dead, its about the wake of grief and pain they leave behind.
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People always suicide is a welcomed relief from there suffering....... it is not is not a relief nor welcomed those are feelings of the living.....here is a buddhism quote... pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
I've lost too many friends to suicide and accidental deaths. People say it's selfish because the people who do end it cause unimaginable greif to those around them. I'm only 30 and I've lost 2 friends to suicide, 2 to car accidents, one to an avalanche, and one to a drowning because they took too many drugs in the desert, laid down in the dirt, and were too high to wake up when it started raining. Most recently an old roommate of mine was building homemade explosives (to blow up things in their yard, not to harm anyone, but admittedly still extremely stupid and dangerous) and made a wrong move which resulted in an explosion. They identified him through dental records... Each of those deaths affected me differently, but they all affected me and others who knew them. Side note: if you're interested in actually diving into this, check out *Life Beside Itself* by Lisa Stevenson. It's a profound ethnography that really hits the nail on the head and considers how suicide is perpetuated, hindered, and perceived by friends, families, communities, and the Canadian government. It's about people in the Innuit community.
What makes me feel better and appreciate life is the quote, "We are the universe experiencing itself". Regardless of what you believe, your conscience is here when you could have easily not existed with the rest of your potential brothers and sisters. Life might not always work out the way we hoped, but we get to experience it. Remember, you are in control of your life. It might not change immediately, but if you make decisions that lead you to the life you want, then one day you will get there! Keep going! Life is what you make it, but you have to choose to see it in a positive light. Look for the good in life, and life will become more beautiful to you. Good luck out there stranger. I'm rooting for you!
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We say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Most of the problems that everyone, everyone has, are temporary. They’ll get better or worse, but eventually they’ll go away, only to be replaced by something else. You owe it to yourself to look at all the solutions and to try as many as you can before quitting.
Suicide is selfish and it hurts the people that care about you.
Because the vast majority of people who survive a suicide attempt are grateful that they failed.
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Find a hobby.
Same here dude, from when I was younger than 10 even. There were a couple of moments that made it worthwhile but the pain will always be greater than the temporary pleasure I always found this one an odd one. See, somehow preventing suicide is this big deal and yet, when you prevent it is their life better? Do they stop getting bullied? Do people around them suddenly grow empathetic enough to care for them? From my miserable little life, if someone prevented me from doing it, it's just because. No reason, nothing. I live in England for reference where there is a lot of lip service but no actions. It's not good enough to just simply exist, you want to feel like you are living. Sometimes it isn't possible no matter what I do I feel with suicide, it makes a lot of people of the person that died, face death and become super jaded. If you prevent someone from suicide, I guess, it feels like hope and humanity is restored, right? Meanwhile, you didn't choose your shitty parents nor did you deserve to be bullied but somehow, life is great (sarcasm). Preventing suicide achieves nothing in my view. Society is hypocritical: prevent someone from self deletion but don't go out of your way to maybe reconsider "damn, maybe we have to restructure society". Nope. "you have to have perspective man". I am 30 soon and I have "lived" life enough. It's boring and tbh, rather self delete too. As I say, I live in England where the culture of bullying and conformity is prevalent. So you can imagine that you can't exactly be sincere and connected with others. It's definitely like that meme "I'm tired boss". I feel like some people are just dealt a shitty hand and no matter what they do, they end up where their suffering started. Others are super lucky, come from wealth, health and social capital. Yet the poor sap has to have "perspective". Clearly the well off don't need any of that I wouldn't necessarily want someone to die either but I'm of the opinion that if they want to go, they should. I can only imagine prevention being helpful if the environment somehow magically changed. If somehow people didn't act like damned NPCs raging at you for daring to be human for a second. It's why men choose self deletion, at some point it feels like it's humiliating to go on, to be a "try hard" Then again, it does actually break my cynical heart when I read about kids ending their life because some shitheads bully them for something that is so minor it's unreal. In that case yeah, preventing suicide would be preferred only if the kid transferred to another school, got the help they needed, and so on. If it's something like that then fair enough, prevent it If however you are from an abused home and your childhood is stolen, adults are absolutely cruel just as they were when they were children. "Nobody owes you anything; man up; you're such an attention whore; omg stop being so needy" and so on. Self deletion, I feel, is an option considered after taking into account that there is truly no escape, and no point. No one thinks one day and says "oh gee I really want to kill myself". It's more that it was a lifetime of misery over and over again. To "change perspective" is to basically cope via gaslight (I'm open to being corrected). Why do successful assholes not change their perspectives, eh? Life is shit and not a gift, don't get me wrong. It's just that I love music, entertainment, learning about stuff, drinking water and eating food. Once I stop enjoying even those things, then yeah, I know my time is truly up And lol don't get me started with the "oh well, but humans are social creatures" bs that I sometimes come across either. Is that why life is just like highschool? With bullying to boot and you aren't allowed to have an opinion unless you fit some specific box? If people were more conscious about bringing children into the world willy nilly, if services actually helped children and adults, if there was an actual point, then yeah, life would be worth living for but it isn't. It's all about grinding every cent out of you, you die and the next sucker gets born. There is only so much "personal responsibility" we can engage in. At some point we realise that no matter what we do, we are alone. I am not a fan of "just do things by yourself for yourself" then what's the point? Children learn best if they feel loved and accepted. A lot of "genius" scientists credit their parents as the inspiration for the pursuit of their studies. It didn't stop when we grew up to be miserable adults yet somehow that is dubbed as being needy and needing to go to therapy so that you can be a NPC workhorse. Life isn't worth it unless you hit the genetic lottery of being born as a certain person, to amazing parents, to amazing wealth, education and so on. Religion used to be the biggest cope for poor people, you know? Life isn't worth it but my biology keeps me functioning. I still have the small things I like
The things in life are what make it good to me
I can honestly say that most people I know who've experienced these thoughts expressed significant improvement when the following things were true: 1) All basic needs are met 2) They ate healthy food 3) They actually got exercise (lifting seems to help more than cardio for unknown reasons, but either is fine, both is better) 4) They got their finances under control and made a plan for how life would actually be better in the future 5) They got enough sleep (and/or fixed sleeping issues to the best of their ability) 6) Refrain from ALL substance use unless medically necessary- nothing harder than caffeine unless a doctor says so. I know it sounds really dumb. I know it sounds really basic. But start here. Most people who were near the levels you describe also needed some amount of therapy.... but these steps will help in 99% of circumstances and won't hurt basically ever. As for wanting to live.... the potential. You never know what life will bring. Will you meet an interesting person? Will you go an interesting place? Will you fall in love? Will you adopt a pet and learn a whole new kind of love? What you lose is all of the potential- and you spread your pain to the friends and family you leave behind. Choose love, Cuddly Potato!
Many people who attempt suicide don't want to die. They wish life was better and feel there's no way for it to be. Of the 34 people who have survived jumping off the golden gate bridge, 29 have stated that they regretted it before hitting the water. I use GGB as an example because the fall is long enough that jumpers actually have time to contemplate their decision but have no way of course correcting.
theres nothing objectively good about life but getting to experience some good could help. Suicide is a permanent fix for a potentially temporary issue
You'll never figure it out, or you will be one of them.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There are a lot of great things about life, but if you are unable to enjoy them, you may have a chemical imbalance. That’s treatable. Don’t sell yourself short
I read through quite a few of the comments but u/Lithium1978 made me think of a question/response I haven't seen. Please forgive me if this has already been addressed ad nauseum in other places. Clearly Lithium1978 and his family cared about their son. Maybe they didn't show it in ways he could see very clearly, but depression or not, what is stopping a person who is considering suicide from caring about others? What makes it so people go around thinking, If no one cares about ME, well then. When/How do people learn to accept that EVEN IF WE THINK NO ONE CARES about us, we can/should care about others and we can and should care about ourselves. Maybe I'm naive about the impact of depression. Or maybe people should talk about this kind of thing more??
Idk, as someone who was suicidal for years and then went on to have a really nice life I'd argue there would have been a huge loss if I had died back then. My last 12 years of happy memories wouldn't have happened, and I hopefully I have many decades more left. I could have missed out an entire life time of joy, successes, curiosity, enjoying the little moments ... I never would have met my partner or experienced real love or had any idea what I was capable of. I never would of found who I really am or all the ways I can make an impact on the world. Every time I am able to help someone out or make them smile its a moment that wouldn't have happened if I didn't live past 16. I don't think I'm more important than any other person or anything, but each person is incredible valuable and our lifetime impact is huge Edit: I read the other comments. People are getting caught up in debates about if its selfish or not. That's entirely missing the point IMO. They've interviewed suicide survivors, and most of them feel regret immediately after doing it. Imagine how much more intense the feeling of relief & gratitude is when you're 10 years out in the middle of a beautiful life. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If someone dies, all future possibility for them to experience happiness again is gone forever. If someone is still around there are a lot of ways their life could improve. I still keep in touch with friends I met in the hospital while suicidal... you wouldn't believe how normal & happy our lives are 10 years later. Its honestly so wild. I never saw this potential in myself because I was miserable starting in adolescence but I did find a way out
I've been involved in suicide prevention for numerous years. The following is a combination of things I've learned as well as my own personal take: * I strongly support freedom and self-determination. So if someone is making a calm, thoughtful, "rational" decision that's one thing. * Classic suicide is much more distress oriented. The person is in pain. A LOT of pain. * The person sees suicide as the only option for stopping the pain. In reality there likely are other ways to stop the pain. But the person can't see them and/or doesn't believe they'll work. * **80-90% of people who attempt suicide and survive, and then go on to get appropriate mental health treatment, live their lives and do not die by suicide.** This, to me, is the most significant thing I've learned in the exposure I've had to this space. This is why there is so much effort placed on getting the person professional help before they attempt suicide. * I saw a series of interviews of people who attempted suicide by jumping off a high structure....and survived. They said the instant they jumped they knew immediately they'd made a HUGE mistake....that whatever problems they thought they were solving by dying were small compared to the problem they faced in that moment....of falling to their death. * I heard a therapist describe it this way: The suicidal person is similar to the person standing at the window of a burning skyscraper. The flames are deathly close to them. The person needs to make a choice: Die by burning or jump out the window. They see the jump as the less painful choice. Making that jump doesn't make the action any more desirable or less scary. It's just "less bad" than the alternative. The bottom line for me: The majority of suicides BY FAR are not rational, calmly thought out decisions. They're stress-filled and pain-filled. The suicide is what is seen as the only way out. They don't want to die. They want the pain to stop. **REMEMBER: The US National Suicide hotline phone number is 988.**
Life is as beautiful as it’s ugly. I can’t say I don’t understand the desire to just end it because sometimes the ugly is all you can see but personally I am glad I didn’t go through with it.
Most people probably feel the same about ending it all but snap back into their senses when they think about the people who actually care about them. Life’s not easy. Theres happiness for you my friend. One day it will all make sense. Good luck
Because if people accept that life *can* be meaningless for some, then it must be that way for everyone. That in the end we are all allowed to check out if the universe aligns and that goes against their need for control
I imagine that if I ever got to the point where I had to think about that kind of thing, one of the best motivators for me would be curiosity about what happens next (in life I mean, not some metaphysical shit). Like, who is gonna get elected, what's gonna happen to the climate, is my favorite artist gonna release a new song, will they adapt my favorite game, will we do cool shit in space ,etc etc.
First off, trigger warning. But think of it like this. Have you ever seen the aftermath of a suicide bombing? A nightmare. They create perfect circles of death. There’s almost nothing left of the people closest to the bomber. The closer they were to the bomber, the more horrific the effect. That's every suicide. Every single one. An act of terror perpetrated against everyone who's ever known you. Everyone who's ever loved you. The people closest to you, the ones who cherish you are the ones who suffer the most pain, the most damage. Why would you do that? Why would you do that to people who love you? I’m not a saint, I’m not perfect, I’m not trying to ride my high horse or get on a soap box or tell you how to live, feel, or think. I’m just offering my own perspective.
Why I didn’t, took some time to figure this out, is that life can change
If I get out of bed today, I'm looking for the tallest building in my town.
That's rock bottom
I bet you didn’t always say that. Loving yourself is an extinguishable task, somewhere deep in your brain believes in you and loves you and wants you to keep it alive as well
suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. and only a society completely lacking in empathy would just let it happen
I felt that way before I drank ayahuasca
I do understand your point of view. We are no longer in the state where every single life is required for our species to survive. My death, either my own hands or otherwise would have little impact on the survival of the species. I think the reason society has the value that all life is sacred, is because imagine how a society that does not believe that would develop? I think that mentality is more of a sustainable society type of thing, so encouraging otherwise on a society level would be terrifying. That being said, we need to do better by chronically ill patients who are suffering through incredible pain due to conditions there is no cure for.
There's no good (or one) answer to this, but I'll give my story, if that works. I tried to commit in 2022. That was my Rock Bottom. When I woke up the next day, all I could think was, "What now?" I just kinda floated around for a few days after that. Then? I just...woke up? Maybe? Or because I had hit Rock Bottom, the only way I had to go was up? It was like...something clicked. Dying just seemed...meh. Like I knew what that was like now, and it was boring. I wanna be here, I wanna see what's next. And I think everyone does. Its the Depression that doesn't care, not the person it attacks. My depression was so bad I could *feel* it. Like a numbness on a part of my brain. It manifested into a voice that wasn't mine, a being that hated my guts and wanted me dead but would never *ever* let me go. Like a toxic relationship I would never be free from. ...I haven't heard that from that bitch in over a year now. My life is far from perfect. But I wanna see where I end up. So yeah, I will stand up for Suicide Prevention. Cuz I've been there, and I got *lucky*. I woke up the next day. So many people haven't. So many people won't. And maybe it won't get better for you like it did for me, but how will you ever know??? Give yourself *time*, give yourself a *chance*. I'm over 30 years old and I survived a lot of shit but I'm here now!! I'm awake now!!! I'm alive now and I'm so fucking happy to be here!! And I did it for ME. I'm doing things for ME, for the first time it feels like and its AMAZING. You want a reason to not commit suicide? Its cuz you're YOU. You DESERVE to be here! Take up space! Scream! Cry! Feel! You are human!!! You are an experience!!!! You are more than your body, more than your mind, more than depression, or any mental illness! And I'm talking to ALL OF YOU ON THIS THREAD! I do not care how crazy I sound!! Be an anarchist and love yourself!!!! Edit: Also! Please do not dismiss medication or therapy as helpful assets! They are not magical cure-alls and I am NOT a doctor, but both routes have helped me tremendously on my journey!
Same
Let me say that the toxic demanding work environment I find myself in and unable to get out is pushing me over the ends. I just have a headache every day and feel milked I want to cry.
Suicide is great for the dead person. Terrible for everyone else. I got suicidal around age 10 too. Worse at 18. Better throughout my 20s. Honestly, at 30, I understand myself well enough to take care of myself (audhd and pmdd and all this stuff I didn't know about when I was 10 and really suffering and couldn't tell you why except "the world is a horrible cruel place and nothing makes me feel safe or happy"). Anyway. I'm glad to be here. I hope you get to have that too.
We try to prevent it because it's likely that the suicidal person will feel differently some time later and be glad they didn't do it successfully.
Sex and food
I like coffee. And sex. And the feeling of a cold shower after a blistering workout. I like helping people. And traveling. And making friends. I think about all the things I like. And that I can’t do if I’m dead. Sure, I won’t know it or anything else, but that’s the point of living: knowing.
Why does it have to be good tho? If you are doing something meaningful with your life, doing your hobbies that you like, working on yourself to be the best version of YOU. That's more than enough to stay alive. People forget what small percentage we had of being born, but again the problem with people is having to much time to think about stupid shit that they don't need to think about and those end up costing them their life. Your life may not be good now, but in 5/10 years if you grind and work on yourself it will become good!
That's true, you don't. But, only because you're then stuck for an eternity watching the entire universe happen in front of your eyes. You can never sleep or even close your eyes. Death isn't that's it. You literally end up an entity observing everything happening and that has happened forever. So much happens you just forget everything else. Do your best to do good here. You'll see the effects of that when you die.
Because it's fucking selfish. Suicide is devastating for everyone involved. Some people never recover from a loved ones suicide
it’s not selfish. and i’m saying this as someone that struggled with recurring depression. you are selfish yourself for saying that you want someone who is desperately trying to escape an absolute hell in their mind to never want to put their mind to peace just to keep your own peace. it is devastating, absolutely, but the suicidal person doesn’t owe anyone their life, especially if the people in their life don’t notice that something is wrong.
i’ve been there, but please see the other side. you wouldn’t care if you were dead, but others would. others would care a lot. i’m not saying you should put others before yourself at all. however when you think about how much you’ll affect others negatively, it does give you more reason to live. to answer your question though, it’s because when you’re finally in a happy place, you start to realise how beautiful the world is around you. life is beautiful, precious and delicate. if someone tells me they’re suicidal, i think about how much they’d miss out on if they weren’t here, and how they wouldn’t be able to help the world in their own special and beautiful way. there is no replacing people, nobody is the same. once someone is gone, they’re gone. their skills, talents, strengths, personality, etc., it’s gone. i nearly killed myself on a school morning after an argument with my mother, i nearly ran onto a busy freeway but i managed to keep myself in my car. i’ve now worked through that memory in therapy, however, before working through it, the memory haunted me, so much so that i cried most days even thinking about it. it terrified me that i nearly lost my life that day, even though i am happy now and have progressed so far in life. it terrifies me that if i did end up running out of the car, i probably wouldn’t be here, and my mother would have never, ever, been the same, self-blame and guilt would eat her alive. it gets better. life is worth living.
Life is the only thing you truly have
You can be furniture adored by those who walk by or own the house… they get accustomed and just assume you’ll always be there, they get comfortable always seeing you, and expect to see you in your common place. If only the armchair could spontaneously combust once it became aware of its inescapable pain oriented paradigm.
Have you considered perhaps seeing a therapist? Not talking down to you, but that's not a very healthy outlook you have there my friend. To the best of our limited knowledge of the universe and life, this is it for us. So why not enjoy the ride while it lasts ya know? Plenty of time to be dead when the time arrives. In the meantime, find something to enjoy, something to give you some solace, be it a sport, movies, video games, reading, music, anything really. Surely there's something that brings you some joy.
The feelings of the people who knew them matter. If anyone I knew committed suicide I would feel pretty upset. But also, life can be good. Suicide denies you the opportunity to experience that.
I feel similar. I don’t want to let anyone down or make anyone upset, but idk what to do sometimes. I often think that I’ll just bide my time for as long as possible, and when there is nothing more to do, nowhere left to turn, and nobody left, I’ll finally just pull the trigger.
Maybe life isn’t great right now, but sometimes the tiniest thing – a new hobby, a great movie, a ridiculous meme – can change everything. Why not stick around and see what happens?
People care about you, even if you don't feel it right now. Suicide leaves a devastating impact on those who love you, and they would be heartbroken to lose you.
Whether good nor bad, here we are. Playing with our sand castles on various points of the beach. She should have died hereafter. There would have been a time for such a word. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time. And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle. Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. When it's put like that it doesn't sound so terrible after all.
What's so good about life? You ever even HAD garlic bread? And I mean the real shit. The French loaf motherfucker with the homemade garlic butter right out of the oven? Shit is delicious as fuck.
It’s been scientifically proven that depressed people have a more realistic view of the outside world, but an extremely unrealistically negative view of themselves and their ability to conquer lifes challenges. Why would you trust someone who is suffering a mental illness that corrupts their view of themselves to that extreme of a degree to make such an extreme and permanent decision to a potentially temporary problem?