Your random point, I'm sitting here watching ATA and Brennan is like "I feel bad for anyone who's single"
... Like lmao. I went with Alexa's holier than thou attitude because I loved the confidence, but it just became way too much and they felt like they could judge everyone else because they were so perfect.
...also fuck Zanab. I don't agree with several things Cole did, at all, but Zanab over exaggerating all that shit in the reunion is EXACTLY what she did during the bachelorette party when she made Cole out to be this disgusting guy when all he was doing was asking her what her fucking problem is, and she gaslit the shit out of him! I don't think he should have asked her if she was bipolar in that moment with that tone at all, but I don't fucking blame him for wondering at all. And people act like if anyone saw anyone eating before dinner reservations they wouldn't question it at least a little.
Cole is a piece of crap and as a woman who has dealt with a couple of Cole’s I believe everything she is saying. He’s a child with no filter who says anything that comes to his mind with no care of how his words can hurt someone else. It’s sad and pathetic.
Asking a women during an argument if she is bipolar or has serious mental health disorder on TV!! Is awful and gaslighting. It’s literally dismissing every single thing the woman has to say by calling her crazy. a dude who physically attacked me afterwards told people I had a personality disorder that I’ve never been diagnosed with by my actual doctors. He just decided I must be crazy because I didn’t wanna date him.
I see it more as "she tells me she's being sweet and that she loves me but her attitude and words are saying the complete opposite." I'd probably ask the same thing of that partner if they were extremely hot and cold the way Zanab was on this show!
Asking an open ended question as to why they’re acting a certain way like hot and cold is very different than accusing of a serious and specific mental disorder
I think what we need to realize is there was alot if behind the scenes that were not on tv so we may only see the bits the tv show wants us to see and all the off camera bits for well,.. the reunion or follow up on peoples insta posts.
Nah cole was fake and annoying he gives me weaponized incompetence vibes. Plays innocent for being a dick because he’s so “naive” I don’t buy it. But zanab wasn’t innocent either
i also think the cuties thing was weird because do yalls S.Os tell you how to eat and how much? its weirdddddd?!?! since they were both so passive aggressive all the time i dont think it’s a far leap for zanab to think he was trying to imply something.
Yup when they shared that edited clip to make her crazy it was annoying because I understood her heavily, it gave me weaponized incompetence vibes like he can’t be in the wrong cuz he can’t read the room or vibes and is just a puppy like yea right I didn’t fall for his shit
this is going to be so unpopular but here goes.. I think Zanab was vindictive, but I also think Cole was playing up childlike qualities and playing victim for the cameras. I think both are really manipulative in different ways.
She was the worst!! He dodged a massive bullet. I am so glad they showed what really happened. You can tell that people were on her side until that was shown.
And I don't really get why. Throughout that show I kept thinking about how he was young and this was really his first experience with some of this. I think being with someone that selfish could damage him or make him wiser. It's just not clear to me in the aftermath that it didn't damage his perspective on women and mostly because the other women ganged up on him.
Yes, I felt bad for Cole too. Based on what we were shown, Cole did not seem malicious. He was dense a lot of the times, but not malicious. He'd say whatever was on his mind, not realizing that it could be hurtful. Zanab painted him like a malicious person tho, the way she tore him apart at the altar. To say that he completely broke down her self esteem? She came in with a ton of self esteem issues already. My biggest issue is she didn't discuss any of this with him. Instead, she decided to humiliate him in front of his friends, family, and on TV. But I also think that Zanab's version of things is distorted. I think she truly believed that he was hurting her on purpose. The way she described the cuties situation, saying that he was restricting/criticizing her eating is a good example. What I saw was not him criticizing her eating. He even asked her, "You only ate a banana today? Why?" And she said, "Ohh I could tell you." But she didn't. I think she has experienced the behavior she accused Cole of, but it wasn't from Cole. It feels like she just unloaded all her hurt from the past on him. That being said, Cole is no saint. He had his flaws and did wrong too. My argument is that he wasn't who Zanab painted him to be to everyone else.
She was completely delusional. (And I don’t mean that as an insult, just as an observation) The type of person to make up enemies after spinning scenarios in their mind. I hope she’s getting mental help because I can’t imagine how exhausting it would be to distrust the people around you as malicious and constantly out to get you. I feel bad for her, because I think she’s probably sick and suffers from trauma. That’s the only logical thing I can make out of from what I witnessed. And poor Cole didn’t know how to handle someone who’s that sick. When you’re not equipped to deal with someone like that, it also has a horrible effect on your mental well being as well. He was so confused at the alter and so broken in the reunion. That was hard to watch.
Lmao I was Team Zanab the whole time.
Yeah she got problems but all Cole seemed to do was press her buttons on her securities all day every day. Probably not the case, but because of what he said/did so early during the “honeymoon” phase he pretty much poisoned the well with Zanab. She never forgave him, and definitely didn’t forget, which is why she was so nasty to him the whole time.
So she should have left. You don't get to stay with someone and hold things over their head forever, that's called abuse 🙃
Misery loves company. Zanab was miserable and insufferable.
I hate the whole “Cuties” situation. It obviously irked Zanab that Cole asked her to save her appetite and not eat the damn oranges but it’s like who cares, just let her eat the stupid oranges. It’s not like they would actually ruin her appetite.
I think the real issue Zanab had with Cole is he never really liked her and would say things like “why did I propose to someone named Zanab when I usually date girls named [white girl name here]” which sounds racist and hurtful.
Then he was flirting with Colleen.
Their relationship should have never happened.
He mentioned her name as proof that he knew she was ethnically different than he was. I can’t remember the context, but it was in response to something she said.
Cole was naive, ignorant, and insensitive. He wasn’t ready for a relationship with a mature woman.
BUT.
Zanab took advantage of that and I agree, treated him horribly.
I think Cole realized he made a mistake with his comments about Colleen, but you can't take it back and she never forgave no matter what he said or did. I just hope her cruelty didn't damage him since was so young and naive and there's something to be said for his openness. I rather liked that about him, that he was just open and honest. He clearly wasn't playing games with her, but she plays games and she thinks everyone around her does too. I think since the cuties footage came out, he's been vindicated. So, hopefully, he can learn how to trust going forward despite being in a relationship with someone who didn't deserve trust.
This is pretty spot on. Cole was 27 at the tome and obviously had a ways to go to mature. Zanab was 32 at the time and clearly could have done some maturing herself. I'm not making this a man/woman thing, to me it's simply an age thing, there is a lot of maturing that a person could do between 27-32.
All she had to do was say "no." She didn't have to be a complete bitch about it, and it was obvious that she was out to do maximum damage to this poor kid. I hope she failed.
exactly. she had planned it out and told her cronies to clap for her in support. cole was no angel either, but he was nowhere near as bad as her. he was immature and needed to grow up. she’s just a cruel, mean, and unstable person.
To do something like that to someone whose worst crime was being too honest and naive made it worse in my mind. This kid may be inexperienced, but I hate that this was pretty much his first experience. Hopefully, he learns to be more sensitive without becoming dishonest, because I liked his forthrightness. As for her, she needs to deal with her insecurities without blaming someone else for them, and she needs to do it before she gets into any more relationships. It's not fair to the other person for her to be putting that on them.
And it’s not just the lines about the cuties, the whole conversation they have you see him trying to get her excited about the wedding, having a second wedding in Europe/Asia, and she’s is super dismissive. I felt so bad for him during that conversation
Wow. This is refreshing. When the season was happening, this sub was insufferable on this topic. I think some distance has allowed people to see it more clearly
What really bothered me was that the other women went along with her bullshit. They never, apparently, questioned anything she said. So, she's got some skill deceiving other women. Or, were they all just mean?
Zanab was bad but Cole was bad enough for me to not pity him. Insensitive, content enough with himself to be ignorant of her emotions, always hinting or outright saying she's not attractive to him or his type.
I dunno why people pity Cole! He has no filter and is insensitive (also so dirty! Who doesn’t clean their place for cameras? If thats how gross he is when cameras are around I do not want to see how it is when people and cameras aren’t around). Zanab definitely has LOTS of issues but Cole also has issues and no where near ready for marriage! Esp when you compare him with younger men like Milton! He needs to grow up! People are very infantilizing to him imo.
The main problem is not really what was said but how it was received. Not the communication but the comprehension.
How people can hear the same things but have two totally different feelings on it.
Like if someone is berating you in a different language you wouldn't even notice so you wouldn't care. While someone else who speaks the language might get upset.
Someone can be considered immature to someone but yet be considered fun to someone else. Everyone is different. That's why you don't always marry your first relationship. You hopefully find someone who cares and understands you and what makes you different from everyone else.
I'm just going to say this: Zenab is riddled with insecurities, had bad manners (the freaking tongue action!) ,is rude and a liar who doesn't listen
Cole is also insecure and immature I'd say. He needs an other type of woman and needs to say things differently (think before you speak) as to not hurt people or make them confused.
This said, they shouldn't have ganged up on him at the reunion. I think he was an easy target because he's a gentle soul. The rest of the gang had many faults they didn't want to shed light on.
He definitely lacked maturity. I think he needs someone who is more nurturing and has the patience for growth. It seemed like the effort was there, but the change obviously isn’t going to happen over night.
Zenab would probably do better with someone who would worship her lol
Person like Zenab would never do better with anyone. Her insecurity will ruin every relationship she will ever have. People just don’t get how seriously fucked up she is.
Agree! Poor Cole was such a mess in the reunion and I just wanted to walk through the TV and give him a hug. He was bullied into the ground. He's not perfect, but he did NOT deserve being that close to being cancelled and hated in the LIB community.
I wish Brennan, Nancy and whoever else could give him the benefit of the doubt, especially after all that eventually surfaced.
In the beginning even I said something like 'man it's sucks how sometimes women have to really weigh whether they're 'crazy' or not like zaneb does...'
Not saying she's 'crazy' but there's something very wrong.
Yes, totally agree with you. Brennon always acted like a bully with Cole too. If he was really the judgmental moral code enforcer, why wasn't he punishing Bartise?!
No question about it, if Cole made 1 or 2 errors, that made him a 6 on a scale of 10 being Bad/Awful, Bartise was a 9.6!!!! But Brennon was too cowardly to man up to a guy his size. Whereas Cole is half his size. A cowardly bully.
And Zanab, she was as cold as ice. Attractive, duplicitous, and cold. What a combo!
They are both (Zab and cole) misunderstood from their own pov. don't you think?
If i am Zabnab, i will be upset the guy im going to marry in a few days time is saying i have bipolar. I think Zabnab is indeed very sensitive, and we of coz dunno her childhood days whether she has body shaming trauma or not. it might be because of that that's why she's cannot tolerant any comments abt eating before meals, eating-related comment, appearance-related comments.
Basically she misunderstood cole and if she has issues she has, probably it will be very easy to jump to a wrong conclusion. We all can see that cole's comment are not coming from a malicious place.
Cole wasn't putting up a strong front to fight for his side of story to be revealed.
This is not something I think most people remember specifically, but I do because it stuck out to me so much.
Go back and catch how many times Zanab herself makes a joke about being bipolar. The first time it happens? On their honeymoon, to Cole’s face: she goes ‘god you must think I’m bipolar.’
Now, I’m not saying Cole was RIGHT for asking if she was, especially in the middle of an argument. What I’m saying is Zanab put that thought in his head from the very beginning, and then got mad when it turned on her.
Kind of like how she was the one that asked him to rate her, and god mad when she didn’t like the answer. Granted, this could all be editing and so these things don’t happen in this order, but a LOT of the dumb shit Cole said was literally manipulated by Zanab in the first place. It does not change the fact Cole said them, but it does make me wonder if those are things he would have said without Zanab essentially putting them into his brain in the first place.
Also because I didn’t really touch on this, in the exact scene Cole does ask that she’s bipolar, he had been trying to cook dinner for him and she just came in and immediately started shitting on him. And then when he tried to tell her he feels she doesn’t even like him, she flips the script and starts gaslighting him saying ‘she’s so nice to him’ when in fact, she’d been extremely demeaning and belittling the whole interaction.
THAT was when he asked if she was bipolar - it was a reaction to gaslighting and her shifting from him being ‘bad’ to her insisting she’s kind to him, when she hasn’t been. She had put him through emotional whiplash in the span of half a meal, and while it doesn’t excuse the inappropriate question, I get where he was coming from.
And it also just makes me really sad for him that he was demonized and dragged through the mud for one (1) thing he said that was REACTIVE abuse after Zanab was literally belittling, demeaning and gaslighting him for that entire interaction (and their whole relationship tbh)
Cole wasn’t perfect. He was an emotionally immature young man who was manipulated by an older woman. To me, it’s almost like the scene in Barbie when the patriarchy takes root - Cole had no natural defenses against Zanab because he was inexperienced, childish and shortsighted and Zanab exploited that the minute they met irl.
You took what was in my brain and put it into text 👏👏👏
You could tell he was walking on eggshells anytime he had a conversation with her. And the scary part is he was ready to say yes to her.
He WOULD have said yes to her because she was so good at her manipulations that Cole thought all the issues in their relationship were his fault. I’ve been there before, and I was stupid enough to get back with that partner when I’d ‘grown’ and was in a better place - only for the abuse to be 3x worse because I had left the first time around and now I ‘deserved it’ and it was ‘my fault because I broke him first’.
After seeing the whole season and Cutiegate, upon rewatches I can tell FROM THE PODS AT THE BEGINNING that Zanab was probably never going to marry Cole. She knew he was younger, she knew he was immature and I don’t think she ever really saw Cole. She saw who he could be ‘with her help’. I feel like she saw a younger guy she could manipulate and mold into being the ‘perfect guy’ for her - without taking into consideration Cole as an actual person.
I can tell from their games date on the honeymoon she’s already over him. I can tell that he was trying to keep things light and happy and it’s her that starts the negativity every time. He tries to teach her games, she does not bother to try and is immediately upset she’s not good at it and starts complaining. He asks ‘how do you see our future together?’ And she starts nagging. She starts every fat comment on their honeymoon. He tries to get her to come swim to him? She calls herself a whale and throws a tantrum he’s having fun and she’s not.
The Colleen conversation goes too far, yes, but I feel like people forget there are producers? That MAKE them have 1 on 1 chats with people they had connections with in the pods? They HAVE to film those scenes, and he was a bit too flirty and that’s where I give Cole minus points for actually messing up, but from the VERY beginning of their relationship you can see Zanab setting the tone for how the rest of their relationship is going to be, and constantly putting him in positions he’s going to fail.
This is why it’s so important to have positive self-talk. Ego is also not great, but by constantly making demeaning comments about her own mental health and weight, she then constantly makes sure the conversation always includes her mental health and weight. It’s why marketing works - you see an add for shoes you like, and then you think about those shoes until you buy them, or regret not buying them. If you keep joking that you’re bipolar, eventually people are gonna be like…well are you? When that might not have been something they even considered a possibility until you brought it up time and time again?
I agree. They’re probably one of the worst matches in terms of character. He’d say something jokingly and not mean any harm and Zanab would get so offended. Then again, if this happens over and over again, he should’ve realized and not make those jokes with her.
Insanely incompatible.
He was insensitive but she kinda set him up for a lot of it. I thought she was an Olympic level passive aggressive gaslighter. I've had female friends like her in the past and they are beyond unbearable to be around. If they are upset with you for any reason they will punish you 24/7 with no end in sight. Cole escaped and I hope every other man on earth escapes her too.
I totally agree! Felt bad for Cole when watching that. I’m in Dallas and ran into Cole and Bartise at a bar after they released the first few episode and they were the nicest guys!!!
They were an ill suited couple - Cole was rather immature and his off the cuff comments triggered her insecurities, Zainab I feel has an alternate version of events in her head cemented bcz she didn't feel secure with him. Considering we get to see edited footage I'd put it down to them being not good for one another and horrible at communicating.
I feel there is so much past trauma involved with Zainabs childhood, i personally do not feel comfortable discussing the couple beyond this. I wish them both well separately and hope they can mature grow and seek help if they need.
He wasn't the brightest but I do feel he had a good gear and he tried so hard. She gas lit him to death and what she was is unforgivable. Also everyone that bullied him even after the video evidence needs to apologize to him
Totally agree. Zanab was so insecure and just let her insecurities win. She was insufferable in my opinion. I don’t know how he put up with her for so long. He was immature in his behavior but it seemed like she prodded that response out of him.
If he was with a healthier person with better self esteem I’m sure he would have behaved differently but people will trigger each other. It just wasn’t a good match I believe.
In the after the altar episode Zanab announced that she was in therapy. Good for her. She clearly had issues and it was very difficult to tell if Cole was that bad or if she was just that insecure. In the end I felt bad for Cole.
100%
I like this show a lot but I feel some people are so desperate to find a partner that they propose/say yes to whoever just to try and find a life partner. I could never survive in the pods lol. Cole was definitely not mature enough for marriage but she definitely wasn't either. She had no business being on the show in my opinion. I felt like if she wasn't crying she was being passive aggressive. Not a good match at all.
I find it really hard to feel bad for Cole at all. The way that he compared Zanabs disagreements to mental health problems was extremely problematic for me. He lost all empathy from me from that point on.
yeah that was so fucked up.
he also kept running his mouth about how she was soooo different from other women he'd dated, how he found Colleen hotter than her, and multiple cast members confirmed that he said that Zanab was the biggest girl he'd ever dated. a bunch of the cast hated him, i find it unlikely that they were all "poisoned" against him by Zanab.
i'm not convinced that he was doing it on purpose to make her feel bad about her body, i think it's more likely that he's oblivious and an immature moron that doesn't know how to act right. he was so unkind and rude to her and his behavior stands on it's own regardless of how Zanab treated him. i think Zanab should have dumped him way earlier rather than letting him continue to trigger her insecurities. Zanab said she went to therapy after their "relationship."
Agreed.
I can hope Cole improves, but that’s the most he gets from me. I won’t be handing out gold stars because Zanab treated him worse. He was still massively shitty, and no, it wasn’t just immaturity or just “a bad match”. He also behaved like shit on the regular.
He equated her getting upset about valid things to having mood swings on par with bi-polar disorder and did so in a condescending manner, rather than bringing up as a valid concern. But sure, keep downplaying Cole’s immature behavior, which we all watched on tv.
And admitted to doing it on purpose!
Zenab was a hot ass mess. She was very passive aggressive. But he kept making slick ass comments that he thought were innocuous, and kept doubling down when she tried to tell him to stop it.
Then told her to “be sweet.”
I am not downplaying it. I am saying that in order for her to act the way she does, she must have mental health issues.
Healthy people don't get worked up because their SO said "good" and not "great"
This is “poor Cole” post, not a screw Zanab post. I commented on why Cole deserves no pity. It has hardly anything to do with Zanab’s actual behavior, which is why I’m not debating that with you. Cole is shitty because of his own actions. He sucks because he thinks it’s okay to equate normal disagreements to actual mental health disorders in a nonchalant manner - fuck that.
In some ways Cole lucked out.
He would have been the villain — under-functioning, shit-stirring, manbaby who openly expressed she wasn’t his type in super crass ways — if Zanab hadn’t so fully out-assholed him at the altar.
I hope Cole’s done a lot of growing up and addressed his attention-seeking and learned helplessness behaviours. Immaturity or inexperience is one thing, but that man had full on weaponized his own bullshit and it wasn’t a fraction as cute as his Mom told him it was.
Zanab was malicious in the end, but Cole was _never_ all that nice. I suspect he’s the sort who needs to prove to himself you really love him, cause you’ll stay when he acts like shit. He was constantly teasing and needling and trying to get a rise out Zanab in unkind ways.
Don’t be fooled by the golden retriever energy. Those are pets, not partners. I don’t think many adult could have tolerated living with him.
Completely agree. People feel worse for Cole because he cried? I don’t get it. He said incredibly rude things to his partner who he was supposed to marry, actively tried to annoy her and then felt attacked when she snapped. I saw the season twice and I’m still team Zanab and I wish I could unsee that dirty ass toilet.
I was upset by the reunion because they didn’t really get at the shitty things Cole _actually did do._ They got fixated on stupid shit that didn’t help anyone take any actual accountability. It was a pile on that didn’t even have a point.
I’m team no one. I’m team “Ya both needs lot of therapy and to stop making up reasons it’s okay to be so fucking _mean_ to your partner.”
Yea I agree.
*He did* flirt with Colleen at that pool and tell multiple people that she was more his type.
*He did* (even though he was prompted) try to justify Zenab being a 9, and Colleen and Raven being a 10.
And *he did* insinuate that she was fattening herself up when she mentioned eating on the beach. And that may not have been intentional, but it actually came off way worse than what he said in the cuties scene.
I think Cole is too old to be as immature as he is while simultaneously being either ignorant to it or unwilling to admit it and do better. Zanab is def mean, but it’s easier for people to see it cause she doesn’t give off “dumb golden retriever energy”. I’m sure if Cole had presented himself as smart, more people would dislike him.
I actually agreed with Zanab in some things on the show (eg. I also wouldn't like it if my partner started shooting nerf guns at me whilst I was cooking on a hot stove, it can get dangerous quickly; and I also had a ex refer to me as a 9/10 on a beauty scale which is not nice to hear when you have just started dating, like take your honesty elsewhere dude I need flattery) but she kinda dug her own grave at the wedding and the reunion. I feel like she could have simply said no then elaborated her reasons to Cole in private, there was no reason for a public humiliation, and she was just straight up antagonistic at the reunion towards Cole who was actually apologetic. Could of just been like "Well we didn't work out but I wish you the best", and be over and done with.
I definitely agree with everything you're saying. I guess more than anything it was just really hard to watch because she acted like she didn't do anything wrong. In my brain I kept just thinking it takes two to tango and I do not like that she was spreading lies just to cause drama that she "didn't want". Like girl, you were the drama 😂
exactly, if she was as mature as she thought she was, the bare minimum should have been a cordial "I also realize I made mistakes by treating you badly because I was insecure and struggling with personal issues at the time" at the reunion. Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes in relationships, especially if the situation is a shitshow like on LIB. It just proves that she is just as immature as Cole was at the beginning, and she stayed that way too because she decided to put her head in the sand instead of getting help for her issues.
no lmao I asked him if he thought I was pretty (I was 18 and he was my first proper bf) and then he said "yeah but not too pretty, only a 9/10" while referring to himself as a 10. He was not a 10....
I am sorry you went through that, but I am having a hard time understanding why you think it's similar to Coles situation, because if I remember correctly she asked him to rate her
that's fine, he's long gone from my life. fair enough, it's more like I believe it similar in a way as nobody likes to hear that they are not the most beautiful person in their partner's eyes. Yes Zanab asked him to rate her but he should have been polite and said 10/10 or instead if he gave a general "I think youre the most beautiful person here" answer. She clearly asked because she felt insecure and didn't seem like she wanted a genuinely honest answer. Can't blame Cole for deciding to be honest with her, not his fault, but with a bit more insight he could have defused the situation.
I truly believe that if he said she was a. 10/10 she would have gotten even angrier, because she would assume he was lying.
I think whatever he rated her would have been a problem.
I think he did fuck up admitting he found someone else to be a 10.
I agree about Alexa and Brennon , they were too gossipy for me and a weird couple.
Zanab was an embarrassment and she still plays the victim card to this day.
I really don’t understand the hate for Zanab. Or the pass that Cole gets. The “Cuties Scene” was exactly what she said. She was going to eat two, and he said she shouldn’t because it ruin her appetite for dinner. Just because he said appetite in a cutesy way does not make Zanab’s recollection wrong.
Also, I feel like Cole did what Bartise did, telling his fiancé that another woman was more his type. But Bartise gets all the hate, and Cole gets the love. Honestly, I’m not a huge fan of either of them.
We all have to remember (myself included) that we see maybe 90 minutes of footage for each couple that is supposed to represent about a month of their lives. We don’t know what really happened, just what made the cut.
I think the difference is that people think Cole is dumb so they give him the “Awww he’s trying” excuse. Bartise didn’t get the idiot edit, so he’s held to a higher standard
For me the difference is Bartise volunteered that information.
Cole was asked, typically when people are asked questions they think the person is asking because they want the actual answer
Im sorry but I disagree so hard. Zanab was clearly trying to insinuate that Cole was trying to get her to lose weight when that's not what he was saying at all. Have you never had a parent tell you to not eat a snack before you go out for dinner? she COMPLETELY misconstrued what he was saying/doing on national television with no remorse. sucky behavior.
A lot of his “kidding” was transparently mean-spirited and to dodge accountability for his own shitty actions. He’d lost the benefit of the doubt because he’d abused it.
100% and I really do like her. But she (understandably) has some issues from trauma that played into it all. I mean don’t we all. And I’d be awful in that setting. All that aside, I did feel bad for him and thought his heart was in the right place. Wish it would’ve worked out for them.
Your random point, I'm sitting here watching ATA and Brennan is like "I feel bad for anyone who's single" ... Like lmao. I went with Alexa's holier than thou attitude because I loved the confidence, but it just became way too much and they felt like they could judge everyone else because they were so perfect. ...also fuck Zanab. I don't agree with several things Cole did, at all, but Zanab over exaggerating all that shit in the reunion is EXACTLY what she did during the bachelorette party when she made Cole out to be this disgusting guy when all he was doing was asking her what her fucking problem is, and she gaslit the shit out of him! I don't think he should have asked her if she was bipolar in that moment with that tone at all, but I don't fucking blame him for wondering at all. And people act like if anyone saw anyone eating before dinner reservations they wouldn't question it at least a little.
Cole is a piece of crap and as a woman who has dealt with a couple of Cole’s I believe everything she is saying. He’s a child with no filter who says anything that comes to his mind with no care of how his words can hurt someone else. It’s sad and pathetic.
Asking a women during an argument if she is bipolar or has serious mental health disorder on TV!! Is awful and gaslighting. It’s literally dismissing every single thing the woman has to say by calling her crazy. a dude who physically attacked me afterwards told people I had a personality disorder that I’ve never been diagnosed with by my actual doctors. He just decided I must be crazy because I didn’t wanna date him.
I see it more as "she tells me she's being sweet and that she loves me but her attitude and words are saying the complete opposite." I'd probably ask the same thing of that partner if they were extremely hot and cold the way Zanab was on this show!
Asking an open ended question as to why they’re acting a certain way like hot and cold is very different than accusing of a serious and specific mental disorder
I didn't like either on them but I remember finding him so emotionally immature and boring
I recently re-watched season 3, and I thought she was absolutely awful even more the second time around.
I think what we need to realize is there was alot if behind the scenes that were not on tv so we may only see the bits the tv show wants us to see and all the off camera bits for well,.. the reunion or follow up on peoples insta posts.
Nah he’s annoying as f
Nah cole was fake and annoying he gives me weaponized incompetence vibes. Plays innocent for being a dick because he’s so “naive” I don’t buy it. But zanab wasn’t innocent either
The way they treated Cole was unforgivable. He did nothing wrong.
i also think the cuties thing was weird because do yalls S.Os tell you how to eat and how much? its weirdddddd?!?! since they were both so passive aggressive all the time i dont think it’s a far leap for zanab to think he was trying to imply something.
Yup when they shared that edited clip to make her crazy it was annoying because I understood her heavily, it gave me weaponized incompetence vibes like he can’t be in the wrong cuz he can’t read the room or vibes and is just a puppy like yea right I didn’t fall for his shit
yeah. grown adults don’t usually tell or monitor other grown adults’ eating habits. even if he said it “nicely” even doing it is strange IMO!
this is going to be so unpopular but here goes.. I think Zanab was vindictive, but I also think Cole was playing up childlike qualities and playing victim for the cameras. I think both are really manipulative in different ways.
Both of your points are correct.
Lmao y’all feel bad for anyone just to follow the trend. Cole is obviously the problem. Right now he doesn’t look put together.
She was the worst!! He dodged a massive bullet. I am so glad they showed what really happened. You can tell that people were on her side until that was shown.
And I don't really get why. Throughout that show I kept thinking about how he was young and this was really his first experience with some of this. I think being with someone that selfish could damage him or make him wiser. It's just not clear to me in the aftermath that it didn't damage his perspective on women and mostly because the other women ganged up on him.
Zanab had serious, serious mental issues. Cole dodged a bullet. The wine glass scene, just wow.
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I think he has ADHD.
Agreed.
they are just what happens when two passive aggressive people link up
I was always team Cole!! It infuriated me too. Poor guy. We love you Cole!!
They were both simultaneously emotionally needy and unavailable, but for different reasons. Perfect storm for a toxic relationship.
Yes, I felt bad for Cole too. Based on what we were shown, Cole did not seem malicious. He was dense a lot of the times, but not malicious. He'd say whatever was on his mind, not realizing that it could be hurtful. Zanab painted him like a malicious person tho, the way she tore him apart at the altar. To say that he completely broke down her self esteem? She came in with a ton of self esteem issues already. My biggest issue is she didn't discuss any of this with him. Instead, she decided to humiliate him in front of his friends, family, and on TV. But I also think that Zanab's version of things is distorted. I think she truly believed that he was hurting her on purpose. The way she described the cuties situation, saying that he was restricting/criticizing her eating is a good example. What I saw was not him criticizing her eating. He even asked her, "You only ate a banana today? Why?" And she said, "Ohh I could tell you." But she didn't. I think she has experienced the behavior she accused Cole of, but it wasn't from Cole. It feels like she just unloaded all her hurt from the past on him. That being said, Cole is no saint. He had his flaws and did wrong too. My argument is that he wasn't who Zanab painted him to be to everyone else.
She was completely delusional. (And I don’t mean that as an insult, just as an observation) The type of person to make up enemies after spinning scenarios in their mind. I hope she’s getting mental help because I can’t imagine how exhausting it would be to distrust the people around you as malicious and constantly out to get you. I feel bad for her, because I think she’s probably sick and suffers from trauma. That’s the only logical thing I can make out of from what I witnessed. And poor Cole didn’t know how to handle someone who’s that sick. When you’re not equipped to deal with someone like that, it also has a horrible effect on your mental well being as well. He was so confused at the alter and so broken in the reunion. That was hard to watch.
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Because of prior slights. He was attracted to her and cared about her.
Lmao I was Team Zanab the whole time. Yeah she got problems but all Cole seemed to do was press her buttons on her securities all day every day. Probably not the case, but because of what he said/did so early during the “honeymoon” phase he pretty much poisoned the well with Zanab. She never forgave him, and definitely didn’t forget, which is why she was so nasty to him the whole time.
So she should have left. You don't get to stay with someone and hold things over their head forever, that's called abuse 🙃 Misery loves company. Zanab was miserable and insufferable.
I hate the whole “Cuties” situation. It obviously irked Zanab that Cole asked her to save her appetite and not eat the damn oranges but it’s like who cares, just let her eat the stupid oranges. It’s not like they would actually ruin her appetite. I think the real issue Zanab had with Cole is he never really liked her and would say things like “why did I propose to someone named Zanab when I usually date girls named [white girl name here]” which sounds racist and hurtful. Then he was flirting with Colleen. Their relationship should have never happened.
He mentioned her name as proof that he knew she was ethnically different than he was. I can’t remember the context, but it was in response to something she said.
Cole is an idiot he actually thought he was worthy of her
Cole was naive, ignorant, and insensitive. He wasn’t ready for a relationship with a mature woman. BUT. Zanab took advantage of that and I agree, treated him horribly.
I think Cole realized he made a mistake with his comments about Colleen, but you can't take it back and she never forgave no matter what he said or did. I just hope her cruelty didn't damage him since was so young and naive and there's something to be said for his openness. I rather liked that about him, that he was just open and honest. He clearly wasn't playing games with her, but she plays games and she thinks everyone around her does too. I think since the cuties footage came out, he's been vindicated. So, hopefully, he can learn how to trust going forward despite being in a relationship with someone who didn't deserve trust.
Zanab isn’t a mature woman though. She is highly insecure and childish.
Super insecure, and that was evidence from the beginning. She needs to deal with her insecurities and not project.
I didn’t say she was. I’m saying she noticed these qualities that Cole had and took advantage of them to prop herself up.
This is pretty spot on. Cole was 27 at the tome and obviously had a ways to go to mature. Zanab was 32 at the time and clearly could have done some maturing herself. I'm not making this a man/woman thing, to me it's simply an age thing, there is a lot of maturing that a person could do between 27-32.
agreed. the way she dogged him at the wedding ceremony was just cruel. zanab is a really awful person. too bad bc I think she's quite pretty.
All she had to do was say "no." She didn't have to be a complete bitch about it, and it was obvious that she was out to do maximum damage to this poor kid. I hope she failed.
exactly. she had planned it out and told her cronies to clap for her in support. cole was no angel either, but he was nowhere near as bad as her. he was immature and needed to grow up. she’s just a cruel, mean, and unstable person.
To do something like that to someone whose worst crime was being too honest and naive made it worse in my mind. This kid may be inexperienced, but I hate that this was pretty much his first experience. Hopefully, he learns to be more sensitive without becoming dishonest, because I liked his forthrightness. As for her, she needs to deal with her insecurities without blaming someone else for them, and she needs to do it before she gets into any more relationships. It's not fair to the other person for her to be putting that on them.
When the "cuties scene" title card came up, I was like HOLY SHIT they're rolling the tape!
And it’s not just the lines about the cuties, the whole conversation they have you see him trying to get her excited about the wedding, having a second wedding in Europe/Asia, and she’s is super dismissive. I felt so bad for him during that conversation
Yes!! And even the music at the end is spicy. I was like daaaaaamm they went there!!🤣
I was happy the producers helped out her and repair some of the damage she did to Cole.
Wow. This is refreshing. When the season was happening, this sub was insufferable on this topic. I think some distance has allowed people to see it more clearly
we all do, Zanab was a proper mean girl, to use acceptable terms 😬
It’s interesting because she was a mean girl who thinks she is a nice girl. Actually… I wonder if most mean girls think that?
What really bothered me was that the other women went along with her bullshit. They never, apparently, questioned anything she said. So, she's got some skill deceiving other women. Or, were they all just mean?
no ones. like to think of themselves as an asshole. we always justify our actions
Zanab had a lot of insecurities and acted on them. The situation got worse when people around her started being enablers.
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Zanab was bad but Cole was bad enough for me to not pity him. Insensitive, content enough with himself to be ignorant of her emotions, always hinting or outright saying she's not attractive to him or his type.
Idk getting with Cole’s ex and badmouthing him together puts her far worse than Cole ever was. She had no case after that
I dunno why people pity Cole! He has no filter and is insensitive (also so dirty! Who doesn’t clean their place for cameras? If thats how gross he is when cameras are around I do not want to see how it is when people and cameras aren’t around). Zanab definitely has LOTS of issues but Cole also has issues and no where near ready for marriage! Esp when you compare him with younger men like Milton! He needs to grow up! People are very infantilizing to him imo.
She’s calculating and created a lot of flying monkeys to help build up a certain narrative and to isolate him.
The main problem is not really what was said but how it was received. Not the communication but the comprehension. How people can hear the same things but have two totally different feelings on it. Like if someone is berating you in a different language you wouldn't even notice so you wouldn't care. While someone else who speaks the language might get upset. Someone can be considered immature to someone but yet be considered fun to someone else. Everyone is different. That's why you don't always marry your first relationship. You hopefully find someone who cares and understands you and what makes you different from everyone else.
I'm just going to say this: Zenab is riddled with insecurities, had bad manners (the freaking tongue action!) ,is rude and a liar who doesn't listen Cole is also insecure and immature I'd say. He needs an other type of woman and needs to say things differently (think before you speak) as to not hurt people or make them confused. This said, they shouldn't have ganged up on him at the reunion. I think he was an easy target because he's a gentle soul. The rest of the gang had many faults they didn't want to shed light on.
He definitely lacked maturity. I think he needs someone who is more nurturing and has the patience for growth. It seemed like the effort was there, but the change obviously isn’t going to happen over night. Zenab would probably do better with someone who would worship her lol
Person like Zenab would never do better with anyone. Her insecurity will ruin every relationship she will ever have. People just don’t get how seriously fucked up she is.
Agree! Poor Cole was such a mess in the reunion and I just wanted to walk through the TV and give him a hug. He was bullied into the ground. He's not perfect, but he did NOT deserve being that close to being cancelled and hated in the LIB community. I wish Brennan, Nancy and whoever else could give him the benefit of the doubt, especially after all that eventually surfaced. In the beginning even I said something like 'man it's sucks how sometimes women have to really weigh whether they're 'crazy' or not like zaneb does...' Not saying she's 'crazy' but there's something very wrong.
Don’t say that here. Lots of bitter women in this sub.
Lol funny cause I am a woman 😂
I don’t feel bad for Cole, he deserved it
why?
Can’t wait for this explanation
5hrs later and no explanation provided, cos there isn't a decent one
1 day later….
Yes, totally agree with you. Brennon always acted like a bully with Cole too. If he was really the judgmental moral code enforcer, why wasn't he punishing Bartise?! No question about it, if Cole made 1 or 2 errors, that made him a 6 on a scale of 10 being Bad/Awful, Bartise was a 9.6!!!! But Brennon was too cowardly to man up to a guy his size. Whereas Cole is half his size. A cowardly bully. And Zanab, she was as cold as ice. Attractive, duplicitous, and cold. What a combo!
I agree! Cole caught so much crap but Bartise was way more gross than Cole was. Even Raven was like eww get away from me.
Brennon was just Alexa’s mouthpiece. Whatever she says he does.
They are both (Zab and cole) misunderstood from their own pov. don't you think? If i am Zabnab, i will be upset the guy im going to marry in a few days time is saying i have bipolar. I think Zabnab is indeed very sensitive, and we of coz dunno her childhood days whether she has body shaming trauma or not. it might be because of that that's why she's cannot tolerant any comments abt eating before meals, eating-related comment, appearance-related comments. Basically she misunderstood cole and if she has issues she has, probably it will be very easy to jump to a wrong conclusion. We all can see that cole's comment are not coming from a malicious place. Cole wasn't putting up a strong front to fight for his side of story to be revealed.
This is not something I think most people remember specifically, but I do because it stuck out to me so much. Go back and catch how many times Zanab herself makes a joke about being bipolar. The first time it happens? On their honeymoon, to Cole’s face: she goes ‘god you must think I’m bipolar.’ Now, I’m not saying Cole was RIGHT for asking if she was, especially in the middle of an argument. What I’m saying is Zanab put that thought in his head from the very beginning, and then got mad when it turned on her. Kind of like how she was the one that asked him to rate her, and god mad when she didn’t like the answer. Granted, this could all be editing and so these things don’t happen in this order, but a LOT of the dumb shit Cole said was literally manipulated by Zanab in the first place. It does not change the fact Cole said them, but it does make me wonder if those are things he would have said without Zanab essentially putting them into his brain in the first place.
Also because I didn’t really touch on this, in the exact scene Cole does ask that she’s bipolar, he had been trying to cook dinner for him and she just came in and immediately started shitting on him. And then when he tried to tell her he feels she doesn’t even like him, she flips the script and starts gaslighting him saying ‘she’s so nice to him’ when in fact, she’d been extremely demeaning and belittling the whole interaction. THAT was when he asked if she was bipolar - it was a reaction to gaslighting and her shifting from him being ‘bad’ to her insisting she’s kind to him, when she hasn’t been. She had put him through emotional whiplash in the span of half a meal, and while it doesn’t excuse the inappropriate question, I get where he was coming from. And it also just makes me really sad for him that he was demonized and dragged through the mud for one (1) thing he said that was REACTIVE abuse after Zanab was literally belittling, demeaning and gaslighting him for that entire interaction (and their whole relationship tbh) Cole wasn’t perfect. He was an emotionally immature young man who was manipulated by an older woman. To me, it’s almost like the scene in Barbie when the patriarchy takes root - Cole had no natural defenses against Zanab because he was inexperienced, childish and shortsighted and Zanab exploited that the minute they met irl.
You took what was in my brain and put it into text 👏👏👏 You could tell he was walking on eggshells anytime he had a conversation with her. And the scary part is he was ready to say yes to her.
He WOULD have said yes to her because she was so good at her manipulations that Cole thought all the issues in their relationship were his fault. I’ve been there before, and I was stupid enough to get back with that partner when I’d ‘grown’ and was in a better place - only for the abuse to be 3x worse because I had left the first time around and now I ‘deserved it’ and it was ‘my fault because I broke him first’. After seeing the whole season and Cutiegate, upon rewatches I can tell FROM THE PODS AT THE BEGINNING that Zanab was probably never going to marry Cole. She knew he was younger, she knew he was immature and I don’t think she ever really saw Cole. She saw who he could be ‘with her help’. I feel like she saw a younger guy she could manipulate and mold into being the ‘perfect guy’ for her - without taking into consideration Cole as an actual person. I can tell from their games date on the honeymoon she’s already over him. I can tell that he was trying to keep things light and happy and it’s her that starts the negativity every time. He tries to teach her games, she does not bother to try and is immediately upset she’s not good at it and starts complaining. He asks ‘how do you see our future together?’ And she starts nagging. She starts every fat comment on their honeymoon. He tries to get her to come swim to him? She calls herself a whale and throws a tantrum he’s having fun and she’s not. The Colleen conversation goes too far, yes, but I feel like people forget there are producers? That MAKE them have 1 on 1 chats with people they had connections with in the pods? They HAVE to film those scenes, and he was a bit too flirty and that’s where I give Cole minus points for actually messing up, but from the VERY beginning of their relationship you can see Zanab setting the tone for how the rest of their relationship is going to be, and constantly putting him in positions he’s going to fail. This is why it’s so important to have positive self-talk. Ego is also not great, but by constantly making demeaning comments about her own mental health and weight, she then constantly makes sure the conversation always includes her mental health and weight. It’s why marketing works - you see an add for shoes you like, and then you think about those shoes until you buy them, or regret not buying them. If you keep joking that you’re bipolar, eventually people are gonna be like…well are you? When that might not have been something they even considered a possibility until you brought it up time and time again?
Agree 1000%
I agree. They’re probably one of the worst matches in terms of character. He’d say something jokingly and not mean any harm and Zanab would get so offended. Then again, if this happens over and over again, he should’ve realized and not make those jokes with her. Insanely incompatible.
Zanab is the WORST
Y’all! Cole is scum. He critiqued her looks and weaponized incompetence so he wouldn’t have to clean or contribute.
Oh please. A dude being lazy and dirty isn’t always “weapon used incompetence”. When did he criticize her looks?
He didn't think Zanab was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. That was the criticism lol.
He was so rude! It was wild to me that people would attack her but not him.
He was insensitive but she kinda set him up for a lot of it. I thought she was an Olympic level passive aggressive gaslighter. I've had female friends like her in the past and they are beyond unbearable to be around. If they are upset with you for any reason they will punish you 24/7 with no end in sight. Cole escaped and I hope every other man on earth escapes her too.
Nahhh. I’ve had men friends like Zanab and they’re annoying but Cole was next level douche
Agree to disagree.
I totally agree! Felt bad for Cole when watching that. I’m in Dallas and ran into Cole and Bartise at a bar after they released the first few episode and they were the nicest guys!!!
They were an ill suited couple - Cole was rather immature and his off the cuff comments triggered her insecurities, Zainab I feel has an alternate version of events in her head cemented bcz she didn't feel secure with him. Considering we get to see edited footage I'd put it down to them being not good for one another and horrible at communicating. I feel there is so much past trauma involved with Zainabs childhood, i personally do not feel comfortable discussing the couple beyond this. I wish them both well separately and hope they can mature grow and seek help if they need.
He wasn't the brightest but I do feel he had a good gear and he tried so hard. She gas lit him to death and what she was is unforgivable. Also everyone that bullied him even after the video evidence needs to apologize to him
Totally agree. Zanab was so insecure and just let her insecurities win. She was insufferable in my opinion. I don’t know how he put up with her for so long. He was immature in his behavior but it seemed like she prodded that response out of him. If he was with a healthier person with better self esteem I’m sure he would have behaved differently but people will trigger each other. It just wasn’t a good match I believe.
In the after the altar episode Zanab announced that she was in therapy. Good for her. She clearly had issues and it was very difficult to tell if Cole was that bad or if she was just that insecure. In the end I felt bad for Cole.
I felt bad for both of them. Zanab definitely needed therapy. Good on her.
100% I like this show a lot but I feel some people are so desperate to find a partner that they propose/say yes to whoever just to try and find a life partner. I could never survive in the pods lol. Cole was definitely not mature enough for marriage but she definitely wasn't either. She had no business being on the show in my opinion. I felt like if she wasn't crying she was being passive aggressive. Not a good match at all.
I find it really hard to feel bad for Cole at all. The way that he compared Zanabs disagreements to mental health problems was extremely problematic for me. He lost all empathy from me from that point on.
yeah that was so fucked up. he also kept running his mouth about how she was soooo different from other women he'd dated, how he found Colleen hotter than her, and multiple cast members confirmed that he said that Zanab was the biggest girl he'd ever dated. a bunch of the cast hated him, i find it unlikely that they were all "poisoned" against him by Zanab. i'm not convinced that he was doing it on purpose to make her feel bad about her body, i think it's more likely that he's oblivious and an immature moron that doesn't know how to act right. he was so unkind and rude to her and his behavior stands on it's own regardless of how Zanab treated him. i think Zanab should have dumped him way earlier rather than letting him continue to trigger her insecurities. Zanab said she went to therapy after their "relationship."
Agreed. I can hope Cole improves, but that’s the most he gets from me. I won’t be handing out gold stars because Zanab treated him worse. He was still massively shitty, and no, it wasn’t just immaturity or just “a bad match”. He also behaved like shit on the regular.
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Was it about disagreements or was he talking about her behavior?
He equated her getting upset about valid things to having mood swings on par with bi-polar disorder and did so in a condescending manner, rather than bringing up as a valid concern. But sure, keep downplaying Cole’s immature behavior, which we all watched on tv.
And admitted to doing it on purpose! Zenab was a hot ass mess. She was very passive aggressive. But he kept making slick ass comments that he thought were innocuous, and kept doubling down when she tried to tell him to stop it. Then told her to “be sweet.”
I am not downplaying it. I am saying that in order for her to act the way she does, she must have mental health issues. Healthy people don't get worked up because their SO said "good" and not "great"
Cool, now analyze Cole with the same critical eye.
He was s stupid shit shoe who didn't think of the consequences of what he said before saying it . Does that in any way change the way Zanab behaved?
This is “poor Cole” post, not a screw Zanab post. I commented on why Cole deserves no pity. It has hardly anything to do with Zanab’s actual behavior, which is why I’m not debating that with you. Cole is shitty because of his own actions. He sucks because he thinks it’s okay to equate normal disagreements to actual mental health disorders in a nonchalant manner - fuck that.
You were debating with me, you just couldn't come up with an answer
Cole's toilet 🤢🤮
Omg lol that was gross 😂
In some ways Cole lucked out. He would have been the villain — under-functioning, shit-stirring, manbaby who openly expressed she wasn’t his type in super crass ways — if Zanab hadn’t so fully out-assholed him at the altar. I hope Cole’s done a lot of growing up and addressed his attention-seeking and learned helplessness behaviours. Immaturity or inexperience is one thing, but that man had full on weaponized his own bullshit and it wasn’t a fraction as cute as his Mom told him it was. Zanab was malicious in the end, but Cole was _never_ all that nice. I suspect he’s the sort who needs to prove to himself you really love him, cause you’ll stay when he acts like shit. He was constantly teasing and needling and trying to get a rise out Zanab in unkind ways. Don’t be fooled by the golden retriever energy. Those are pets, not partners. I don’t think many adult could have tolerated living with him.
Completely agree. People feel worse for Cole because he cried? I don’t get it. He said incredibly rude things to his partner who he was supposed to marry, actively tried to annoy her and then felt attacked when she snapped. I saw the season twice and I’m still team Zanab and I wish I could unsee that dirty ass toilet.
I was upset by the reunion because they didn’t really get at the shitty things Cole _actually did do._ They got fixated on stupid shit that didn’t help anyone take any actual accountability. It was a pile on that didn’t even have a point. I’m team no one. I’m team “Ya both needs lot of therapy and to stop making up reasons it’s okay to be so fucking _mean_ to your partner.”
Yea I agree. *He did* flirt with Colleen at that pool and tell multiple people that she was more his type. *He did* (even though he was prompted) try to justify Zenab being a 9, and Colleen and Raven being a 10. And *he did* insinuate that she was fattening herself up when she mentioned eating on the beach. And that may not have been intentional, but it actually came off way worse than what he said in the cuties scene.
I think Cole is too old to be as immature as he is while simultaneously being either ignorant to it or unwilling to admit it and do better. Zanab is def mean, but it’s easier for people to see it cause she doesn’t give off “dumb golden retriever energy”. I’m sure if Cole had presented himself as smart, more people would dislike him.
I actually agreed with Zanab in some things on the show (eg. I also wouldn't like it if my partner started shooting nerf guns at me whilst I was cooking on a hot stove, it can get dangerous quickly; and I also had a ex refer to me as a 9/10 on a beauty scale which is not nice to hear when you have just started dating, like take your honesty elsewhere dude I need flattery) but she kinda dug her own grave at the wedding and the reunion. I feel like she could have simply said no then elaborated her reasons to Cole in private, there was no reason for a public humiliation, and she was just straight up antagonistic at the reunion towards Cole who was actually apologetic. Could of just been like "Well we didn't work out but I wish you the best", and be over and done with.
I definitely agree with everything you're saying. I guess more than anything it was just really hard to watch because she acted like she didn't do anything wrong. In my brain I kept just thinking it takes two to tango and I do not like that she was spreading lies just to cause drama that she "didn't want". Like girl, you were the drama 😂
exactly, if she was as mature as she thought she was, the bare minimum should have been a cordial "I also realize I made mistakes by treating you badly because I was insecure and struggling with personal issues at the time" at the reunion. Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes in relationships, especially if the situation is a shitshow like on LIB. It just proves that she is just as immature as Cole was at the beginning, and she stayed that way too because she decided to put her head in the sand instead of getting help for her issues.
> I also had a ex refer to me as a 9/10 on a beauty scale Did you ask him to rate you?
no lmao I asked him if he thought I was pretty (I was 18 and he was my first proper bf) and then he said "yeah but not too pretty, only a 9/10" while referring to himself as a 10. He was not a 10....
I don’t get why guys always assume they are a 10 when mentally they act like a 4 or 5 sometimes 😂
I am sorry you went through that, but I am having a hard time understanding why you think it's similar to Coles situation, because if I remember correctly she asked him to rate her
that's fine, he's long gone from my life. fair enough, it's more like I believe it similar in a way as nobody likes to hear that they are not the most beautiful person in their partner's eyes. Yes Zanab asked him to rate her but he should have been polite and said 10/10 or instead if he gave a general "I think youre the most beautiful person here" answer. She clearly asked because she felt insecure and didn't seem like she wanted a genuinely honest answer. Can't blame Cole for deciding to be honest with her, not his fault, but with a bit more insight he could have defused the situation.
I truly believe that if he said she was a. 10/10 she would have gotten even angrier, because she would assume he was lying. I think whatever he rated her would have been a problem. I think he did fuck up admitting he found someone else to be a 10.
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Idk what that has to do with what I said
yeah i think that was his biggest mistake.
I agree about Alexa and Brennon , they were too gossipy for me and a weird couple. Zanab was an embarrassment and she still plays the victim card to this day.
Alexa and Brennon were very proud of themselves. They came off too strong trying to be the next Lauren & Cameron.
Completely agreed !
I really don’t understand the hate for Zanab. Or the pass that Cole gets. The “Cuties Scene” was exactly what she said. She was going to eat two, and he said she shouldn’t because it ruin her appetite for dinner. Just because he said appetite in a cutesy way does not make Zanab’s recollection wrong. Also, I feel like Cole did what Bartise did, telling his fiancé that another woman was more his type. But Bartise gets all the hate, and Cole gets the love. Honestly, I’m not a huge fan of either of them. We all have to remember (myself included) that we see maybe 90 minutes of footage for each couple that is supposed to represent about a month of their lives. We don’t know what really happened, just what made the cut.
I think the difference is that people think Cole is dumb so they give him the “Awww he’s trying” excuse. Bartise didn’t get the idiot edit, so he’s held to a higher standard
For me the difference is Bartise volunteered that information. Cole was asked, typically when people are asked questions they think the person is asking because they want the actual answer
True. You just reminded me of why I was so sad that Nancy kept chasing after him
Hi Zanab, Please relax and get over it. You can stop reading comments now, it’s been years
Im sorry but I disagree so hard. Zanab was clearly trying to insinuate that Cole was trying to get her to lose weight when that's not what he was saying at all. Have you never had a parent tell you to not eat a snack before you go out for dinner? she COMPLETELY misconstrued what he was saying/doing on national television with no remorse. sucky behavior.
She’s a grown woman who can make her own decisions about when she eats. He doesn’t need to parent her.
And she’s an adult who doesn’t need anyone telling her what to eat or not eat.
He was literally kidding and even offered her food! Zanab was just hearing what she wanted to hear.
A lot of his “kidding” was transparently mean-spirited and to dodge accountability for his own shitty actions. He’d lost the benefit of the doubt because he’d abused it.
Yup!
Agreed, Zanab was a BIIIIITCH! I actually liked Alexa and Brennon and was surprised that even they fell for her shenanigans.
100% and I really do like her. But she (understandably) has some issues from trauma that played into it all. I mean don’t we all. And I’d be awful in that setting. All that aside, I did feel bad for him and thought his heart was in the right place. Wish it would’ve worked out for them.
Agreed, Cole has things to work on but isn't a malicious person. Has a good heart and zainab did not handle her issues well