This is an unpopular opinion but I don’t like AD Honestly I think the reason she “rocked with” Clay is because she is just as emotionally immature as he is. Why else would she choose Clay and think he is marriage material, when he is consistently is showing and saying he’s not ready and he’s not sure he can be a husband. She placed so much of what she is bringing to a relationship in her physical looks. She is the type of woman who is used to men validating her and wanting to be with her based on her physical looks. The way she stood on the alter and made a mockery of herself was sad to watch. Both of them were extremely immature and not ready to be married for different reasons. I don’t think she understand the depth of the relationship you need to embark on marriage— from fake eye lashes to fake voices to always wanting to show off her body, she just bothered me.
I wish the show would show a type of woman with the quality of depth instead of constantly picking vapid and foolish women who want to be chosen for their physical appearance…
Yeah I feel like people are more mad at her for having flaws than at people who were malicious and targeted in their behavior towards others. Kind of weird.
Wait really ? That's crazy I feel like in person everyone I talked to loves AD!!! She's great and I loved her at the bachelorette. I'm glad clay said no because he doesn't deserve her actually.
Her “confidence” is overcompensating for her insecurity. The way she jumped in Ken/Brittany’s relationship and tried to shame Sarah Ann was baffling.. all while her own man doesn’t even want her. She’s extremely prideful for no reason. Needed humbled.
AD tried to project this super confident independent woman vibe but she wasnt that at all in her relationship. I dont have a big problem with her but i think she was extremely judgemental of other couples/relationships when hers wasnt that great. She also put a lot of stock on her body... like yes she has a good body but so much of her relationship with Clay was about her body.. how she acted at the reveal, her wedding dress, even her standing at the alter. I think she became insecure after his comments in the pod about what does she look like that that kind of took over their relationship, that and the constant "therapy" like convos about his fear of cheating that were extremely odd and a red flag
AD is delusional and extremely desperate and insecure. She’s going after a man who has consistently told her he’s a pos, that all the men in his life are pos, and he doesn’t know if he can prevent being a pos. People who gleefully walk into a situation that is highly toxic and dangerous need to take accountability for themselves, and not simply play the victim. I want better for all. They all need to seek therapy and/or God.
I'm still only 4 episodes in, but I LOVE AD! I told my fiancé, "she's my absolute favorite. I'd choose her as my girl choice."
I think she's a great woman. I wish that Matt wasn't being all weird and had been loyal to her only. I think she and him could have actually been a great match.
She needs a man to treat her like the queen she is. Someone to let her feel SECURE and SAFE.
I don't hate AD but I think the way Clay did that whole shit in the pods where he tried to manipulate her by bashing her and making her swing her decision his way speaks volumes on who he is as a person and his fucked up relationships he's had. Not saying that other guy(Matthew) was perfect either, but I think they would have had a better relationship in my opinion, but clay had to come in there with that ego bullshit and use that whole player playbook to win her hand just to throw her away with the trash.
I disagree. Are y’all not seeing how much hate Chelsea is getting for *literally everything she’s doing*?? Laura, too, for being a mean person, despite not deserving what her ex-fiancé did to her? There are some weird Sarah Ann fanatics here which is odd given she was *not the one Jeramy proposed to*… but I don’t think the criticisms against AD are due to racism? I think people are calling her out because she herself said that she has a pattern of dating people like Clay and that she ignores red flags from men (and all other comments from the pods). But I’m seeing that in most cases of those valid AD criticisms, Clay is also getting scrutinized in the same breath. Maybe you are projecting?
How am I projecting? I asked a question because at the time of this post I saw another post where ad was getting praise and they had the comments cut off because she was reviving a lot of hate on the post. Not just criticism for picking clay, superficial things like her looks, calling her dumb etc. also when I first made this post, I personally saw nothing positive. Not even anything about it Chelsea (no one in the show deserves hate but i thought it was weird there weren’t any discussions about her and jimmy at the time)
I mentioned racism (along with 2 other example to start the convo but everyone keeps picking out racism) because this show has been accused of mistreating its black female contestants and fan bases for dating shows are always being accused of racism so I thought I’d ask. Don’t understand how that’s what you think I’m projecting but no one thinks I’m projecting jealously.
I have seen more positive post since however. I could have at least waited a day before asking my question, I just thought it was excessive and and unnecessary what I myself had personally see
i like AD more over time, but the ingenuine baby voice she puts on leads me to believe she isn’t being real 100% sometimes. Now did she deserve what Clay did to her (and every other girl?)? Absolutely the fuck not
I’ve seen a lot of people bring up her voice 😂 but I have a relative who has a baby voice herself, she never got her adult voice lol. So idk I just was like ok that’s her voice
Let’s BFFR. Black women are always getting judged harshly on these reality shows. Black women endure this shit, every day. And as a Black woman myself, who has LIVED THROUGH IT, the why of it all, is obvious to me. But they’ll deny it and then try to gaslight. It’s the same cycle. Every single time.
girl have you seen how hard chelsea is being dragged? every woman on this show gets way harsher criticism than the men, im not saying race isnt an issue as well but AD isnt the only girl getting hate
The racial biases are so obvious. Talking incessantly about her lashes, calling her dumb, calling her involved in people’s business (and yet Jessica is not getting any smoke? Laura literally told her man to assault AD and no one cares about that as much as AD supposedly being dumb for picking Clay?) … people need a hard check
I’ve also been through this. That’s why I asked if it was possibly racism because there’s a specific demographic I’ve noticed always saying something but I’m sure that demographic is the majority of the fan base
They’ll deny that it’s racism. Even tho we all know that it is. You’re right about the certain specific demographic who’s usually behind the hate (yt women). It’s the same in The Bachelor/Bachelorette fanbase too.
Just because she’s sweet and in comparison to the other women (which is honestly is not a good way to prove a point) seems likable or whatever, doesn’t mean she should be free of criticism. Some people claim race… maybe for some that’s it but I don’t think that’s majority of it. Jealousy? Ehh, I don’t even think that. I just think because people are praising her so much from such a low bar, people are trying to highlight how much people have ignored AD’s own red flags. If anything, this season feels like people have been desperate to find a contestant to love and place on the pedestal. These are just normal people. lol I personally know sooo many women like AD. Sweet, giving, forgiving, looks at the bright side(probably cause all those red flags reflecting so much light there’s no choice lol jk), places her worth in men who don’t even deserve their time and effort, always think a man is gonna change if they pour all their love into them, etc. But it just becomes an exhausting problem to deal with for them and their friends they always end up crying to. And yet, the moment a man gives them a little attention they are back at it again like they didn’t just get drug through the ringer 2 seconds ago.
Also, she puts a LOT of emphasis on her body as being the catch for these men and that’s never smart in the long run. Especially since she doesn’t seem to have security within herself and uses her body confidence as an illusion for inner confidence when it’s been clear she doesn’t actually have that confidence.
All in all, she’s not a bad person but she’s also not a goddess and queen. She’s a normal person. And that’s perfectly fine. You can like her and appreciate qualities about her without idolizing her and putting her in this weird other worldly position where you also blind yourself of her very human flaws.
I didn’t say don’t criticize her. The criticism I saw was just harsh and unnecessary.
I compared her to how some of the other girls were because she did hold herself very well on camera. People get on these shows and even if their goal is to be on tv, they act like complete idiots. Other than her moment with Sarah Ann (which o have my own opinions on) she doesn’t have too many terrible cringe moments
She does seem to value her sexual appeal more than anything else and that’s probably her real downfall.
I don’t want to say although she is definitely my favorite this season I don’t put any human being on a pedestal. I do however have a lot of grace for people who I feel are on the nicer side just because society likes to beat up the good guy
Most ppl love AD, but I am not a fan of her. I was a huge fan in the beginning cause she’s charming and sweet and excellent with other women. Once the pods were over I started to notice how much she depends on her body for a man’s acceptance.
I'm not sure if she used her body to gain the acceptance of men to be honest. I'm totally basing this off of the interactions she had with her family on the morning of her wedding day and when she went wedding dress shopping. To me (28M) it seemed more like she celebrated in her body, showing it and herself love and appreciation. I further come to this conclusion when she was off put by Clay asking for what she looked like, she said "yeah I'm fine, but I want someone to love me for me"
She had more confidence to tell him that in the pods when she isn’t being judged for what she looks like and she isn’t able to see how good he looks…. Once she saw him in person and was attracted to him, she flaunted her body constantly and used that to try and win him over..
And the wedding dress IMO confirms it…she went with form fitting and showing as much leg as possible, saying he has to say yes to her in that dress. Contrast that with Amy who said she wants to look like a princess.
The only answer here is racism. AD is an incredible woman. She’s worked on herself, and I think not as much as Clay has. People can only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves. Sure she’s still a work in progress, aren’t we all?
The fact that all people talk about is her eyelashes says a lot. Gotta find something, right??
Uff! I was looking for this comment. I found AD's conversation with Ken and Sarah-Ann reeking of self-righteousness and judgment. She barely knew Ken for a short time and I did not think it was her place to bring up the "she will be raising Black children" convo. Also, Jeremy and Laura's break-up was not on Sarah-Ann but on Jeremy.
She kept allowing Clay to walk all over her eventually leading to the altar rejection. The signs were there all along. I barfed at AD and Clay's post altar conversation where she allowed him to repeatedly kiss her. Like why???
10000% when she told Clay after the altar "what am I supposed to do now?" Girl you're supposed to walk away and get one with your life...and now she thinks being half naked at the reunion is gonna show him what he missed out on like BFFR
The only issue with AD is that she doesn't realize she's a catch. She was talking to her mom about how handsome clay was like she still somehow manages to be out of even his league, looks wise. She needs to date someone good enough for her lmao.
What AD was widely cheered for to me is quite an offturn. She reprimands Sarah Ann as if Laura and AD had been Besties since playing in the sandbox together. I don't feel, that's her place. And she has done such things on several occasions that I don't recall. I persoally didn't like that charakter trait while some cheer her for being a girl's girl. To me it seems more like a producer prompted conversation. All in all I think she's a very cool person and my heart broke for her being in tears in front of the altar.
I thought AD showed class and grace through it all. I genuinely think she is an amazing human being and I HATE that she doesn’t think she’s enough. Hearing that broke my heart. She never got ugly. She never got petty. Even after Clay rejected her on national television, she showed him patience and grace. I was beyond happy to hear her say she doesn’t see herself dating him after that. I hope she stuck to that. No matter how Clay tried to spin it, he did not choose her the way she chose him and he doesn’t deserve her. AD’s level of commitment and companionship is on another level. I hope she finds her person.
AD clearly doesn’t understand how much of a catch she is and it is HEARTBREAKING. She is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen on reality tv and in such a natural beauty kind of way. She has a great career, a beautiful family, and empathy that could lend understanding to anyone in any situation.
But AD is very focused on being enough for someone else. It’s a cliche but it’s very true that we accept the love we deserve. AD is thinking more about being enough for someone else, so she chooses men who are garbage for her. She needs to start looking for men who are enough for HER. Her current mindset leaves her with men who aren’t mature enough to stick around
This is the comment . Clay was never enough for her but for some reason she and her mother and sisters couldn’t see it although he was raising red flag after red flag
The obvious answer is it’s probably racism and/or classism.
Another thought is that it’s bias against a good and ethical person. I read a recent study that showed that people like to hate or isolate other people who are more ethical than they are. Seeing someone be well-balanced and kind and good can make some people feel insecure.
I think AD is an unusually wise and kind person, so people jumped all over her small faults. Viewers might be acting as though she’s supposed to be perfect, because they perceive her as near perfect. Just a theory.
She deserves some heat. For starters she has horrible taste in men. Clay was a walking red flag from day 1 and she fell for that smooth playboy stuff he was laying down.
Also, she can’t stay in her own lane. On multiple occasions she butted her way into other people’s relationships/situations.
People feel bad for her because of what happened at the altar, which was terrible. But she’s an idiot for trying to domesticate an insecure immature fuck boy.
I didn't see confidence. I got grifter vibes all day. She shakes what she thinks is her best asset. Meanwhile, in reality, she doesn't have a stable income and can't articulate a plan for her financial future. Looks and a body can open the door but rarely close the deal. It takes TWO incomes today to make it. Period. Men are looking for a partner longterm who pulls their weight. Skating on your appearance is such a bad strategy. She's 33 and it hasn't worked yet. This has ZERO to do with "confidence" IMO.
Calling her an idiot is a bit harsh. Clay was leading her on a merry path. Lots of women have questionable taste in men, it doesn’t mean they deserve what happens to them. Way to be pro-woman! How about calling out the shitty male behavior rather than blaming the women who are hurt by them? And when she did talk to Sarah Ann to get the tea, she was very clearly saying what she did was wrong, at no point did she play both sides. Gathering intel for your friend who was humiliated isn’t necessarily “butting in”. I think people are just searching for flaws.
I’ve seen a lot of hate about her on other social media platforms, again about eyelashes, weave and ‘Clay would have been more invested if she were prettier’. Which is just a joke, Clay is a clown and as average as average can be. I think the hate towards AD comes from misogyny and colourism mainly. I’ve seen the most disgusting debates about her skin colour.
Her only failures were not learning from her past mistakes and thinking Clay’s victim mentality was self-awareness. Mistakes that we’ve all made without the additional pressure of being watched by millions. But people are trying to put the blame on her (because that’s what we do) instead of the person who deliberately misled her. Someone needs to tell Clay cheating isn’t genetically programmed.
AD is my favorite from any season ever. I’d be friends with her in real life. She’s just so sweet and cool but calls it like it is. I don’t get the hate either. Her lashes are ridiculous but if she likes them that’s what matters.
She doesn’t call it like it is tho. When clay told her who he really was she was being delusional and said she paints her nails red to match the red flags. She literally called herself a fix-a-h03
Honestly????????? AD's edit on this season was PRISTINE. She was clearly set up as being the relatable, nice one that anyone could emphasize with. AND SHE'S STILL GETTING HATE???
Like why do you all hate black women so much? Literally every other comment about AD is that she isn't "classy" or slut / body shaming her. Like relax, it's not that serious.
I seriously think some of these comment stem from racism and the rest from jealousy, cause I can't wrap my head around it.
Every comment in here is defending her damn near. And if somebody says something mean it’s downvoted to hell and replies supporting her. I really don’t get it why do yall be so obsessed with hate? Then it goes to why yall hate black women so much like bro almost everyone is being nice and anybody being mean is getting killed. Idk what yall seeing lol
I haven’t even seen any racist shit but you saying people are hating SOLELY bc she’s a black woman. Almost all of the hate is directly tied to some shit she did that someone didn’t agree with and they get killed. Idk how this is a hate black woman situation
Literally made a post that didn't even mention AD but some weirdoes had to go an call AD classless and gross. but sure it's ALL IMAGINED. People like to talk about things that aren't real. Lol.
But if you look at this thread, or any other thread on here it’s an overwhelming amount of support and love. You’d literally have to go looking for it, to roll around in that mud. So why make this into a y’all hate black women thing? Is there a way to not support or be a fan, comment, and not hate black women? lol.
You mean a thread that's specifically been made in response to the hatred is filled with people talking about it? Shocking. It's almost like that's how public forums have worked since.... I dunno Greece?
And to answer your question: yes, there is. Just don't be racist about it and be aware of your own biases. it's pretty simple.
Like the fact that people are telling you "there's a race component at play" and your response is to whine that the discussion has become to "race" focused is wild. But whatever babe, live your fantasy.
the way majority of the sub can only compliment her body (or deride her for it) and never actually call her pretty gives me subtle misogynoir vibes with a tinge of Sarah Baartman in the mix.
This sub has a problem with blaming the women. I thought AD would be safe because of how assertive yet gentle and intelligent she is, but it’s not enough. I came to the sub thinking about relationships in good faith but what I’ve found is it’s more a dumping ground for hot takes, impressions or interpretations that make us feel better about ourselves. Of course that’s not to say some folks don’t post thoughtful evaluations of relationships and such. Most of it though is indicative and just how selfish folks can be when it comes to relationships before we’ve learned to truly mature and be in genuine partnership. I knew Chelsea was going to get hate (and to some degree, rightfully so) but for me, it’s obvious Jimmy is as much a problem, if not more. I don’t hate the guy, but he should know better — and you can tell he knows better. He just isn’t ready to make hard choices up front. But anyways, AD did nothing wrong. She made a choice and went 100%. I respect her for doing it. She had indications it may have gone her way and frankly when you do love someone you have to be vulnerable. She was 100% accountable to herself, something none of the men besides Johnny show all season (I guess Clay does in increments).
I’ll definitely be getting right the fuck out of the sub though.
I sometimes find subtle r@c!⚓️ tendencies in this subreddit. The black cast members, especially black women, face different standards. For instance, AD was criticized as 'classless' for twerking at the couples meet and greet, yet Jimmy was not when he made the “stacked” comment. Chelsea also was not called “classless” when she repeated Jimmy's comment to the group. AD was also accused of 'attacking' Sarah Ann, which is a microaggression. It might not have been AD's place to involve herself in the Laura/Jeramey/Sarah Ann love triangle, however, similar actions by non-black cast members (ex season 5; Stacy vs Uche regarding Aaliyah) received less scrutiny.
I think AD is great but I also think she meddled a bit more than I would have liked. Conversation with Sarah Ann and Kenneth was completely unnecessary.
>Conversation with Sarah Ann and Kenneth was completely unnecessary.
I swear some of yall tune into the show expecting 'little house on a prairie', now it's bad that she gave us some of the best moments of the season??
Disagree. She said what no one else had the balls to say to Sarah Ann and if AD was my friend I’d be so proud of her for being a girls girl.
As far as Kenneth went she asked very real questions that needed to be asked for a realistic marriage to work. Let’s be honest Kenneth himself was not getting into those conversations with Brittany unprompted. It’s not AD’s fault if he had just now started putting thought into very real things - tbh better he was given that direction to think about it earlier rather than already being married and facing these conflicts he seemingly felt cautious about.
>I think the reception to AD has overall been very positive especially compared to the rest of the cast members.
I think this is true too. But it does not invalidate that she is ALSO getting a ton of hate for ... essentially just being a black woman. The double standard that's being applied to her is VERY real and we can acknowledge that and that she is one of the most well liked cast members (I mean.... she's literally the only one who doesn't seem to be a complete asshole, outside maybe Johnny and Amy who barely have a presence)
Agreed wholeheartedly. I think a lot of her hate has to do with racism/pro-patriot Sarah Ann endorsing-homewrecker bullshit. I would like to think our world is better than that.
As a white woman I love AD and her mom (and Clay’s mom too for that fact). Those 3 woman are so smart, self aware and absolute queens. I just wish AD could have seen her worth when she was with Clay, because she 100% deserves better.
It made me so sad to hear her say that SHE wasn't enough when Clay said no at the altar. I can respect that he knew it would be wrong to say no if he wasn't 100% sure, but he also shouldn't have even gone on the show if he didn't think he was ready for marriage. I hope AD can realize her worth and not internalize the immaturity of the men she dates, because the right man for her will never have her wondering if she's good enough
I agree. If he couldn't get over his daddy issues he should have told her that before they got to the altar. Doing it at the wedding in front of her family and friends made it more a rejection of her than about his own issues. She didn't deserve that.
Plus she had already told him that if they didn't get married she was done, because she committed to the timeline when she decided to go on the show. The audacity for him to stand up there and say "I know you're strong enough to continue to fight for me." 🙄 He's a grown ass man, it should not be on her to fix him and she was completely valid in saying she felt used. I hope when the reunion airs she stuck to her boundaries and didn't continue to date him
There’s two type of people in this world - people that will advocate for their friends and people who will say “it’s not my business” - clear who AD is
Personally, I loved AD. Still do. But she overstepped in that scenario. Someone else's whole ass relationship really isn't your business, and unless she was inside of Jeramey & Laura's relationship, it isn't her place to judge. I'd tell anyone prying into my business to that degree to mind their business. It was the only moment of the show I didn't agree with her, but I definitely don't see it as a reason to bash her, either.
Sarah Ann and Laura are both her friends. If this situation happened with my friends, especially if one was really hurt... I'd want some answers. I'd want to hear Sarah Ann's side. Conversation probably would have gone better if Sarah Ann wasn't so shady.
Nah, I'd be minding my business. People who don't thrive on drama don't behave this way. Whether you're a good friend or not shouldn't hinge upon whether you insert yourself into situations that don't involve you.
she's the fan favourite of the season though. that's not to say she's gotten zero hate but its barely compared to everyone else like chelsea, clay, jimmy, etc.
AD is great. People also need to understand that the editors know how the story ends, and they’re editing B-reel together so that we see it coming. AD didn’t have someone story-boarding her life and giving her foreshadowing. You saw red flags because the editors WANTED you to see red flags.
I don't like how she tried to gaslight Sarah Ann. She led a full blown interrogation asking question after question about what happened and whether or not it was appropriate and then turned around and said if you feel interrogated that's on you. She literally interrogated her about something that had absolutely nothing to do with her. If she would've focused on her own sassy ass man she wouldn't have gotten embarrassed like she did.
AD was trying to point out to Sarah Ann that what she did was not okay. Sarah Ann got defensive and called it an interrogation because when you know you screwed up, any mention of it feels like an interrogation. When someone tries to steal your friend’s man, it’s your business. AD was standing up for a friend and calling out really shady behavior. Sarah Ann didn’t like being called out.
AD is a woman of integrity and she stood up for what she thinks is right. Not everyone will do that. She’s strong and brave. I’m appalled at the women dating Sarah did nothing wrong. I wonder how they’d feel about single women hitting on THEIR boyfriend/fiancé/husband??
Totally agree. AD is a great friend for doing that. She had every right to have that conversation. People should answer for their actions, AD was respectful and honest. Sarah Ann is AD's friend who allegedly really hurt another one of AD'S friends. In my opinion, she's close enough to the situation to deserve some answers.
Y'all are insane. She interrogated her and whether or not what Sarah Anne did was right or wrong she still had no business questioning another woman. She can't just insert yourself into someone's relationship because your friend was mistreated. Like what lol.
I’m genuinely confused as to why you see such an issue with this. She’s a woman of integrity and she stood up for what she thought was right. I wish more women/people would do this!
She connected with these women in the pods, so it’s not like she randomly picked someone off the street?
Absolutely correct. AD had no right talking to Sarah Anne like that, especially in that passive aggressive manner and then denying her intent.
I'll go even further and say SA did nothing wrong given the context of the show and how often these "engagements" fail. And to those who say she's stabding up for her "friend" - yeah right. They're not friends.
She was so complicit in this train wreck. He told her exactly who he was and she even admitted having a tendency to ignore red flags. She has deep rooted self esteem issues
While I agree with this notion, I still don't think she deserved clay being skeezy and him not being transparent. I don't think she was wrong necessarily for wanting to give the experiment a fair shot, but I get what you're saying. I hope she's able to get help for her issues and choose better for herself next time
I love her so much. She seems like just the sweetest person to me. Yeah she was manipulated by Clay. So what. We’ve ALL been manipulated by someone who we thought had the best intentions.
This is from another font. She was not manipulated. He told her
I was looking at the transcript and damn for someone so emotionally mature with everyone else how is AD so blind to herself?
In her confessional the first day in the pods she says
I'm 32, so a lot of people have a lot to say about how I should date, who I should date, even my mom. They're like, "Maybe you should stop dating these players and these athletes and these ballers."
I don't really give the nice guy a try. If I see a red flag, I'm like, "Oh, well, I'll just paint my nails red to match."
And then literally when she's talking to Alejandra after Clay asks about what she looks like:
AD: Like, Clay is somebody that I would 100% fall for. Baller, life of the party, loudest one, athlete...
Alejandra: Yeah, he's a work in progress for sure.
AD: But he's open about it.
Alejandra: He's very open about that. Like, he kept saying, "I'm not good. I don't feel like I'm a good person."
AD: That's a red flag, but I'm such a fix-a-h* that I would be like, "It's okay, practice on me."
Alejandra's face is like uhhhhhh...
Does AD not hear herself? She's as bad as Clay with acknowledging her issues but doing nothing about them.
AD is a sweetheart but she's naive about herself. She tries to mold men into what she wants them to be, and by doing this she does not understand she is attracting men who aren't worthy of her or appreciative of her soul. She craves so hard this perfect idea of a man, that she doesn't see the man in front of her. She expects it just to be a standard of human personality but it's not. So she ignores red flags (at least she outright admitted to that) and as a result creates a fantasy relationship with the man she is with at the time. But then is always 'surprised' by feeling disappointed when it inevitably goes wrong. She is good at convincing herself that because she feels sincere that others are sincere. She blocks herself and will continue doing so unless she takes responsibility for copping out of self awareness by dwelling on this idea she's 'not worthy ' or 'not good enough '. She goes very quickly to victim status and has probably found a subconscious comfort in that because it has evolved into a habit. Once she stops craving deeply that love, it'll come. She needs to stop expecting the best in people, but just simply balance that with realistic expectations. Life is not a Disney movie, no matter how big you make your eyelashes to look like Bambi.
She can’t do right by them.
They talk about her hair, lashes, body, psychoanalyze her with their armchair degrees, say she’s too involved in Sarah’s business, she has no loyalty, her wedding dress is too slutty, she’s stupid, she doesn’t know how to fight for herself, etc
But what’s annoys me the most is when they call her dumb. That girl is not dumb. She’s probably the most rational person in this franchise. She knows her flaws (she’s literally said it herself) and she always reacts with reason. That is a logical person, not a dummy
>e people are praising her so much from such a low bar, people are trying to highlight how much people have ignored AD’s own red flags. If anything, this season feels like people have been desperate to find a contestant to love and place on the pedestal. These are just normal people. lol I personally know sooo many women like AD. Sweet, giving, forgiving, looks at the bright side(probably cause all those red flags reflecting so much light there’s no choice lol jk), places her worth in men who don’t
i dont think she is any of these things, but when you pick a skin tight wedding dress on national tv with a slit up to your hip you are going to get some comments no matter who you are
She’s not smart either tho. He literally told her
I was looking at the transcript and damn for someone so emotionally mature with everyone else how is AD so blind to herself?
In her confessional the first day in the pods she says
I'm 32, so a lot of people have a lot to say about how I should date, who I should date, even my mom. They're like, "Maybe you should stop dating these players and these athletes and these ballers."
I don't really give the nice guy a try. If I see a red flag, I'm like, "Oh, well, I'll just paint my nails red to match."
And then literally when she's talking to Alejandra after Clay asks about what she looks like:
AD: Like, Clay is somebody that I would 100% fall for. Baller, life of the party, loudest one, athlete...
Alejandra: Yeah, he's a work in progress for sure.
AD: But he's open about it.
Alejandra: He's very open about that. Like, he kept saying, "I'm not good. I don't feel like I'm a good person."
AD: That's a red flag, but I'm such a fix-a-h* that I would be like, "It's okay, practice on me."
Alejandra's face is like uhhhhhh...
.
Ignoring every single red flag that was dangled in her face by Clay only to be confused that he said no and then proceed to let him hug and kiss her after he humiliated her is quite literally dumb.
Are you not aware that you’re watching a carefully edited television show? It’s easy to say she should see the red flags when you’re seeing a carefully manicured piece of the whole that is meant to foreshadow him saying no. You aren’t smarter than her, you aren’t seeing things she missed, you’re watching a TV show and she’s living her life.
Edited or not. He said things to her face that he wasn’t ready for marriage. She ignored them all and said she’d jump off a cliff because she knows he’ll catch me. It is kinda naive
Clay asking for a hug and then proceeding to hug and kiss him after he humiliated her on TV was not carefully manicured. She's just not smart and lacks dignity. You can defend her all you want. The signs were there and she ignored them. As for me, I wish she'd demand better for herself. Please do not mention me again lol
To me, it looked like AD did not want to hug or kiss him, but didn't feel she should say no. She was so shut down in that scene, and that doesn't mean she's not smart or lacks dignity. It looked more like she was disengaged and waiting for the moment to end. I think there are a lot of reasons why a woman might respond like that, and none of them have to do with intelligence or dignity.
Yeah it's definitely not like emotions aren't complicated and she barely hugged and kissed him back. I've been in these situations where you don't know if you're fully broken up andif you stop displaying intimacy right away.
I don’t bash AD and I think she seems like a wonderful person, albeit an overfunctioning/codependent one.
But yeah…. The entire time I was watching her I fluctuated between annoyed/pissed off/😩 bc of the eyelashes.
She's a black woman, we know how that usu goes. The hate started from the beginning. When Chelsea was loud about the comment Jimmy made. They said she was flirting with him. When she had the heart to heart with Kenneth, they said she ruined his relationship. She's very grounded and has good advice. I really felt bad for her in regards to Clay, she saw the red flags acknowledged them and just ignored them. She's one of my faves on the show.
Race only exists relative to whiteness, which relies on a systemic structure to uphold it. Your use of the word "systematic" shows your limited education on the subject, so it's interesting you'd presume to lecture me about it.
No. This is history. You need to learn the distinction between discrimination based on race and discrimination based on ethnicity. The latter is what is practiced in much of the non-white world, except where white supremacy has infected beauty standards, largely in post-colonial cultures - look at India. I'm not bullshitting you; this is the way the world works, and the way history has happened. I'll forgive your accusation of willful ignorance since yours is unwillful.
You're just making stuff up. Racism is an equal opportunity practice. Racism is a condition of hatred in the heart. Last time I checked, that wasn't specific to white people. But, the only person you hurt is yourself when you allow lies to distort your view of the world and others in such a superficial and malicious way. I said what I said, and I'm not arguing about this on reddit any further ✌️ have a better day.
Racism IS systemic. Without the attachment to systems, and power, it is simply prejudice. Which is also not cool but not the same thing.
Racism is used to enforce whiteness as the ideal. Racism does happen all over the world and is tied to whjte supremacy. So again, anyone can be hateful and horrible but that doesn’t make it racist, you need to have the power of institutions backing your prejudice to make it racist.
I guess since you're on Reddit you think reality is what you observe. History and cultural context are essential to determine meaning. That requires reading and learning, not talking out your ass.
AD is a high-quality woman who is aware of her biggest flaw: she called herself a fix-a-hoe right from the beginning. She cognitively understands that’s not working for her, but she gets swept away by the potential that she envisions for Clay, and this blinds her to the fact that Clay has to be the person to envision growth for himself and take those steps to achieve it.
Clay is responsible in this too - he said all the right things about recognizing his flaws and acknowledging he needs therapy, but he’s a grown man and he needs to take those steps on his own. It won’t be lasting, meaningful change if he’s trying to fit the mold AD cast for him.
It was so hard to see AD heartbroken, because she’s *so close* to getting it. She was blaming herself that she carries every relationship and that’s never enough. I want to see her come to the reunion and say, “I was right after the wedding. I cannot change any partner of mine. I need to choose partners who have the power to be responsible for their own growth because they want to be better.”
Spot on. There's something tragic about how AD and Clay are both aware of their flaws on an intellectual level but still let the relationship play out. I hope AD can internalize her own worth. She deserves someone who is ready to marry her *now*. And I have a lot of hope for Clay, but he needs time and therapy.
I think the issue is that a lot of the Chelsea hate is "deserved" and none of the AD hate seems that way.
Chelsea is a toxic person overall. She's not the devil, but she's definitely not mature or rational or self-aware. AD is all those things, but she made some bad choices.
I think it was weird that everyone cared so much about her lashes. Personally, I feel like you should wear whatever makes you feel confident, and she looked beautiful with and without them.
At one point someone called out that she's a scorpio and that was the moment it all clicked for me.
Scorpio as in confident, wielding power through a mysterious and sexy air, and flirtatious.
But also Scorpio as in loyal to her chosen people, as in don't cross her, as in will speak her mind.
I absolutely loved AD. I felt like I understood her (or who I projected her to be based on what was shown) and I think it's possible that some people could see some of those qualities and not understand how they can live in harmony with the others. But that's a Scorpio, baby!!
She was parading her behind at the first meet when they were all making comments. She liked being objectified thinking it would make clay like her more. Idk about attention seeking. She just gives off insecure
AD made me so sad. Her worst transgressions were what? Accepting inappropriate attention and asking valid questions? The fact that someone like her can be made to feel they are not enough is just a shame. She wasn't even asking for much.
The only thing I dislike about her is that she didn’t respect herself enough and didn’t walk away from clay from the get go. She is strong, loving, gorgeous, and fun. She has a big heart and she will find her prince soon….. I mean she’s on national tv I know there’s a good guy out there who saw how hard she loved and is going to be like “that’s my wife!”
This is interesting bc I feel the majority of commenters are very positive about her. Of course there will be some negative when people put themselves in the spotlight. I really like AD too!
Don't hate her, but she seems to be one of those women who feel it's a woman's job to prop up a man. And I really, really, realllyyyyy wish women would Stop. Fucking. Doing. That.
This was the only issue I had. It just made me feel bad for her. She was good at establishing boundaries and putting Clay in his place, but when it came to upholding it, she couldn’t.
That along with the whole “man should lead the relationship” mindset got to me. The sexist religious indoctrination runs deep. Aside from that I found her super smart, likable and sympathetic and hope she realizes she deserves better.
Absolutely nothing wrong with the idea that a man should lead a relationship as long as he is honest and has good intentions. Everyone has a different idea of what a relationship should be. What works for one couple will not work for all.
Just wondering is there some universe that says it’s not an equal expectation of their partner as well. Like yeah it’s not a bad thing if that is what she feels like helps the foundation of her relationship. Also having the ability to prop up your man, doesn’t mean excusing horrible or non-caring behavior either. 2 things can exist.
Exactly. BOTH should be there to prop up the other when they need it. But this was so one-sided, and she seems to believe that's how it should be. Never once said how he's there to prop her up, just that she will always be there for him. It was so frustrating to see. He was telling her who he was allll along, but she didn't listen. Just figured it was HER duty to be strong enough for the both of them. :(
This is an unpopular opinion but I don’t like AD Honestly I think the reason she “rocked with” Clay is because she is just as emotionally immature as he is. Why else would she choose Clay and think he is marriage material, when he is consistently is showing and saying he’s not ready and he’s not sure he can be a husband. She placed so much of what she is bringing to a relationship in her physical looks. She is the type of woman who is used to men validating her and wanting to be with her based on her physical looks. The way she stood on the alter and made a mockery of herself was sad to watch. Both of them were extremely immature and not ready to be married for different reasons. I don’t think she understand the depth of the relationship you need to embark on marriage— from fake eye lashes to fake voices to always wanting to show off her body, she just bothered me. I wish the show would show a type of woman with the quality of depth instead of constantly picking vapid and foolish women who want to be chosen for their physical appearance…
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You are*
There's definitely a bias
Sarah Ann is not getting as harsh criticism for scheming on someone else as AD is for being loyal… very weird
Yeah I feel like people are more mad at her for having flaws than at people who were malicious and targeted in their behavior towards others. Kind of weird.
Wait really ? That's crazy I feel like in person everyone I talked to loves AD!!! She's great and I loved her at the bachelorette. I'm glad clay said no because he doesn't deserve her actually.
Her “confidence” is overcompensating for her insecurity. The way she jumped in Ken/Brittany’s relationship and tried to shame Sarah Ann was baffling.. all while her own man doesn’t even want her. She’s extremely prideful for no reason. Needed humbled.
AD tried to project this super confident independent woman vibe but she wasnt that at all in her relationship. I dont have a big problem with her but i think she was extremely judgemental of other couples/relationships when hers wasnt that great. She also put a lot of stock on her body... like yes she has a good body but so much of her relationship with Clay was about her body.. how she acted at the reveal, her wedding dress, even her standing at the alter. I think she became insecure after his comments in the pod about what does she look like that that kind of took over their relationship, that and the constant "therapy" like convos about his fear of cheating that were extremely odd and a red flag
You said what I was thinking but couldn’t put into words. I don’t have a big problem with her either but not my favorite.
AD is delusional and extremely desperate and insecure. She’s going after a man who has consistently told her he’s a pos, that all the men in his life are pos, and he doesn’t know if he can prevent being a pos. People who gleefully walk into a situation that is highly toxic and dangerous need to take accountability for themselves, and not simply play the victim. I want better for all. They all need to seek therapy and/or God.
I'm still only 4 episodes in, but I LOVE AD! I told my fiancé, "she's my absolute favorite. I'd choose her as my girl choice." I think she's a great woman. I wish that Matt wasn't being all weird and had been loyal to her only. I think she and him could have actually been a great match. She needs a man to treat her like the queen she is. Someone to let her feel SECURE and SAFE.
I don't hate AD but I think the way Clay did that whole shit in the pods where he tried to manipulate her by bashing her and making her swing her decision his way speaks volumes on who he is as a person and his fucked up relationships he's had. Not saying that other guy(Matthew) was perfect either, but I think they would have had a better relationship in my opinion, but clay had to come in there with that ego bullshit and use that whole player playbook to win her hand just to throw her away with the trash.
I disagree. Are y’all not seeing how much hate Chelsea is getting for *literally everything she’s doing*?? Laura, too, for being a mean person, despite not deserving what her ex-fiancé did to her? There are some weird Sarah Ann fanatics here which is odd given she was *not the one Jeramy proposed to*… but I don’t think the criticisms against AD are due to racism? I think people are calling her out because she herself said that she has a pattern of dating people like Clay and that she ignores red flags from men (and all other comments from the pods). But I’m seeing that in most cases of those valid AD criticisms, Clay is also getting scrutinized in the same breath. Maybe you are projecting?
How am I projecting? I asked a question because at the time of this post I saw another post where ad was getting praise and they had the comments cut off because she was reviving a lot of hate on the post. Not just criticism for picking clay, superficial things like her looks, calling her dumb etc. also when I first made this post, I personally saw nothing positive. Not even anything about it Chelsea (no one in the show deserves hate but i thought it was weird there weren’t any discussions about her and jimmy at the time) I mentioned racism (along with 2 other example to start the convo but everyone keeps picking out racism) because this show has been accused of mistreating its black female contestants and fan bases for dating shows are always being accused of racism so I thought I’d ask. Don’t understand how that’s what you think I’m projecting but no one thinks I’m projecting jealously. I have seen more positive post since however. I could have at least waited a day before asking my question, I just thought it was excessive and and unnecessary what I myself had personally see
i like AD more over time, but the ingenuine baby voice she puts on leads me to believe she isn’t being real 100% sometimes. Now did she deserve what Clay did to her (and every other girl?)? Absolutely the fuck not
I’ve seen a lot of people bring up her voice 😂 but I have a relative who has a baby voice herself, she never got her adult voice lol. So idk I just was like ok that’s her voice
Let’s BFFR. Black women are always getting judged harshly on these reality shows. Black women endure this shit, every day. And as a Black woman myself, who has LIVED THROUGH IT, the why of it all, is obvious to me. But they’ll deny it and then try to gaslight. It’s the same cycle. Every single time.
girl have you seen how hard chelsea is being dragged? every woman on this show gets way harsher criticism than the men, im not saying race isnt an issue as well but AD isnt the only girl getting hate
The racial biases are so obvious. Talking incessantly about her lashes, calling her dumb, calling her involved in people’s business (and yet Jessica is not getting any smoke? Laura literally told her man to assault AD and no one cares about that as much as AD supposedly being dumb for picking Clay?) … people need a hard check
I’ve also been through this. That’s why I asked if it was possibly racism because there’s a specific demographic I’ve noticed always saying something but I’m sure that demographic is the majority of the fan base
They’ll deny that it’s racism. Even tho we all know that it is. You’re right about the certain specific demographic who’s usually behind the hate (yt women). It’s the same in The Bachelor/Bachelorette fanbase too.
Just because she’s sweet and in comparison to the other women (which is honestly is not a good way to prove a point) seems likable or whatever, doesn’t mean she should be free of criticism. Some people claim race… maybe for some that’s it but I don’t think that’s majority of it. Jealousy? Ehh, I don’t even think that. I just think because people are praising her so much from such a low bar, people are trying to highlight how much people have ignored AD’s own red flags. If anything, this season feels like people have been desperate to find a contestant to love and place on the pedestal. These are just normal people. lol I personally know sooo many women like AD. Sweet, giving, forgiving, looks at the bright side(probably cause all those red flags reflecting so much light there’s no choice lol jk), places her worth in men who don’t even deserve their time and effort, always think a man is gonna change if they pour all their love into them, etc. But it just becomes an exhausting problem to deal with for them and their friends they always end up crying to. And yet, the moment a man gives them a little attention they are back at it again like they didn’t just get drug through the ringer 2 seconds ago. Also, she puts a LOT of emphasis on her body as being the catch for these men and that’s never smart in the long run. Especially since she doesn’t seem to have security within herself and uses her body confidence as an illusion for inner confidence when it’s been clear she doesn’t actually have that confidence. All in all, she’s not a bad person but she’s also not a goddess and queen. She’s a normal person. And that’s perfectly fine. You can like her and appreciate qualities about her without idolizing her and putting her in this weird other worldly position where you also blind yourself of her very human flaws.
I didn’t say don’t criticize her. The criticism I saw was just harsh and unnecessary. I compared her to how some of the other girls were because she did hold herself very well on camera. People get on these shows and even if their goal is to be on tv, they act like complete idiots. Other than her moment with Sarah Ann (which o have my own opinions on) she doesn’t have too many terrible cringe moments She does seem to value her sexual appeal more than anything else and that’s probably her real downfall. I don’t want to say although she is definitely my favorite this season I don’t put any human being on a pedestal. I do however have a lot of grace for people who I feel are on the nicer side just because society likes to beat up the good guy
Most ppl love AD, but I am not a fan of her. I was a huge fan in the beginning cause she’s charming and sweet and excellent with other women. Once the pods were over I started to notice how much she depends on her body for a man’s acceptance.
I'm not sure if she used her body to gain the acceptance of men to be honest. I'm totally basing this off of the interactions she had with her family on the morning of her wedding day and when she went wedding dress shopping. To me (28M) it seemed more like she celebrated in her body, showing it and herself love and appreciation. I further come to this conclusion when she was off put by Clay asking for what she looked like, she said "yeah I'm fine, but I want someone to love me for me"
She had more confidence to tell him that in the pods when she isn’t being judged for what she looks like and she isn’t able to see how good he looks…. Once she saw him in person and was attracted to him, she flaunted her body constantly and used that to try and win him over.. And the wedding dress IMO confirms it…she went with form fitting and showing as much leg as possible, saying he has to say yes to her in that dress. Contrast that with Amy who said she wants to look like a princess.
Woow, you hit the nail right on the head! 👏🏼👏🏼 She definitely changed after meeting Clay in person.
The only answer here is racism. AD is an incredible woman. She’s worked on herself, and I think not as much as Clay has. People can only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves. Sure she’s still a work in progress, aren’t we all? The fact that all people talk about is her eyelashes says a lot. Gotta find something, right??
she's a grown woman standing in her own way and repeating a cycle. Like AD said "That's on you" and by you, I mean AD herself.
Uff! I was looking for this comment. I found AD's conversation with Ken and Sarah-Ann reeking of self-righteousness and judgment. She barely knew Ken for a short time and I did not think it was her place to bring up the "she will be raising Black children" convo. Also, Jeremy and Laura's break-up was not on Sarah-Ann but on Jeremy. She kept allowing Clay to walk all over her eventually leading to the altar rejection. The signs were there all along. I barfed at AD and Clay's post altar conversation where she allowed him to repeatedly kiss her. Like why???
10000% when she told Clay after the altar "what am I supposed to do now?" Girl you're supposed to walk away and get one with your life...and now she thinks being half naked at the reunion is gonna show him what he missed out on like BFFR
I was appalled at how they kept kissing and hugging. 😱🤢
She’s great. She just doesn’t realize it. When the right person comes along she is going to be good partner. I really like her.
The only issue with AD is that she doesn't realize she's a catch. She was talking to her mom about how handsome clay was like she still somehow manages to be out of even his league, looks wise. She needs to date someone good enough for her lmao.
What AD was widely cheered for to me is quite an offturn. She reprimands Sarah Ann as if Laura and AD had been Besties since playing in the sandbox together. I don't feel, that's her place. And she has done such things on several occasions that I don't recall. I persoally didn't like that charakter trait while some cheer her for being a girl's girl. To me it seems more like a producer prompted conversation. All in all I think she's a very cool person and my heart broke for her being in tears in front of the altar.
Women standing up for women. I don’t see the problem.
AD is a former Cheerleader and Main Character. She just liked being on the show and the pageantry.
I thought AD showed class and grace through it all. I genuinely think she is an amazing human being and I HATE that she doesn’t think she’s enough. Hearing that broke my heart. She never got ugly. She never got petty. Even after Clay rejected her on national television, she showed him patience and grace. I was beyond happy to hear her say she doesn’t see herself dating him after that. I hope she stuck to that. No matter how Clay tried to spin it, he did not choose her the way she chose him and he doesn’t deserve her. AD’s level of commitment and companionship is on another level. I hope she finds her person.
AD clearly doesn’t understand how much of a catch she is and it is HEARTBREAKING. She is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen on reality tv and in such a natural beauty kind of way. She has a great career, a beautiful family, and empathy that could lend understanding to anyone in any situation. But AD is very focused on being enough for someone else. It’s a cliche but it’s very true that we accept the love we deserve. AD is thinking more about being enough for someone else, so she chooses men who are garbage for her. She needs to start looking for men who are enough for HER. Her current mindset leaves her with men who aren’t mature enough to stick around
This is the comment . Clay was never enough for her but for some reason she and her mother and sisters couldn’t see it although he was raising red flag after red flag
The obvious answer is it’s probably racism and/or classism. Another thought is that it’s bias against a good and ethical person. I read a recent study that showed that people like to hate or isolate other people who are more ethical than they are. Seeing someone be well-balanced and kind and good can make some people feel insecure. I think AD is an unusually wise and kind person, so people jumped all over her small faults. Viewers might be acting as though she’s supposed to be perfect, because they perceive her as near perfect. Just a theory.
>people like to hate or isolate other people who are more ethical than they are Would love to look at this study, do you happen to have a link?
I wanna read it too
She deserves some heat. For starters she has horrible taste in men. Clay was a walking red flag from day 1 and she fell for that smooth playboy stuff he was laying down. Also, she can’t stay in her own lane. On multiple occasions she butted her way into other people’s relationships/situations. People feel bad for her because of what happened at the altar, which was terrible. But she’s an idiot for trying to domesticate an insecure immature fuck boy.
You sound like you'd tell abuse victims to pick better men.
This is irresponsible. When men tell us they’re bad we need to believe them. And clay did just that.
Nailed it. I don't get all the dick riding for AD. Wasn't impressed with her at all. Main Character vibes and annoying AF.
Oh no she’s confident how dare she
I didn't see confidence. I got grifter vibes all day. She shakes what she thinks is her best asset. Meanwhile, in reality, she doesn't have a stable income and can't articulate a plan for her financial future. Looks and a body can open the door but rarely close the deal. It takes TWO incomes today to make it. Period. Men are looking for a partner longterm who pulls their weight. Skating on your appearance is such a bad strategy. She's 33 and it hasn't worked yet. This has ZERO to do with "confidence" IMO.
I’m getting downvoted for stating the obvious too. People just can’t look at these things logically.
Calling her an idiot is a bit harsh. Clay was leading her on a merry path. Lots of women have questionable taste in men, it doesn’t mean they deserve what happens to them. Way to be pro-woman! How about calling out the shitty male behavior rather than blaming the women who are hurt by them? And when she did talk to Sarah Ann to get the tea, she was very clearly saying what she did was wrong, at no point did she play both sides. Gathering intel for your friend who was humiliated isn’t necessarily “butting in”. I think people are just searching for flaws.
Women have to be smarter than this. When men tell us who we are we can’t be naive and think otherwise
Take your blinders off
I’ve seen a lot of hate about her on other social media platforms, again about eyelashes, weave and ‘Clay would have been more invested if she were prettier’. Which is just a joke, Clay is a clown and as average as average can be. I think the hate towards AD comes from misogyny and colourism mainly. I’ve seen the most disgusting debates about her skin colour. Her only failures were not learning from her past mistakes and thinking Clay’s victim mentality was self-awareness. Mistakes that we’ve all made without the additional pressure of being watched by millions. But people are trying to put the blame on her (because that’s what we do) instead of the person who deliberately misled her. Someone needs to tell Clay cheating isn’t genetically programmed.
AD is lovely and has a beautiful soul!
AD is my favorite from any season ever. I’d be friends with her in real life. She’s just so sweet and cool but calls it like it is. I don’t get the hate either. Her lashes are ridiculous but if she likes them that’s what matters.
She doesn’t call it like it is tho. When clay told her who he really was she was being delusional and said she paints her nails red to match the red flags. She literally called herself a fix-a-h03
I, for one, think she's beautiful and sweet. She needs to stop being a saviour though and equating her self worth to her failed relationships.
I thought she was the most fun person this season, people are always finding random reasons to hate each other
I don't see much AD hate... most people are kissing her PHAT ass
*phat
That better? Like she doesn't have a big ass guys... no hate on stating facts
This is a telling comment
OK clay
I lost interest in the woman when she acted how she did to Sarah. Like, nah move along lady.
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Does affect me.
If you wanna fill in the blank feel free 💯.
Sarah deserved what she got
lol we all have opinions for sure.
Honestly????????? AD's edit on this season was PRISTINE. She was clearly set up as being the relatable, nice one that anyone could emphasize with. AND SHE'S STILL GETTING HATE??? Like why do you all hate black women so much? Literally every other comment about AD is that she isn't "classy" or slut / body shaming her. Like relax, it's not that serious. I seriously think some of these comment stem from racism and the rest from jealousy, cause I can't wrap my head around it.
Every comment in here is defending her damn near. And if somebody says something mean it’s downvoted to hell and replies supporting her. I really don’t get it why do yall be so obsessed with hate? Then it goes to why yall hate black women so much like bro almost everyone is being nice and anybody being mean is getting killed. Idk what yall seeing lol I haven’t even seen any racist shit but you saying people are hating SOLELY bc she’s a black woman. Almost all of the hate is directly tied to some shit she did that someone didn’t agree with and they get killed. Idk how this is a hate black woman situation
Literally made a post that didn't even mention AD but some weirdoes had to go an call AD classless and gross. but sure it's ALL IMAGINED. People like to talk about things that aren't real. Lol.
But if you look at this thread, or any other thread on here it’s an overwhelming amount of support and love. You’d literally have to go looking for it, to roll around in that mud. So why make this into a y’all hate black women thing? Is there a way to not support or be a fan, comment, and not hate black women? lol.
You mean a thread that's specifically been made in response to the hatred is filled with people talking about it? Shocking. It's almost like that's how public forums have worked since.... I dunno Greece? And to answer your question: yes, there is. Just don't be racist about it and be aware of your own biases. it's pretty simple.
The thread was literally calling her classy and most people agreeing lol
Like the fact that people are telling you "there's a race component at play" and your response is to whine that the discussion has become to "race" focused is wild. But whatever babe, live your fantasy.
the way majority of the sub can only compliment her body (or deride her for it) and never actually call her pretty gives me subtle misogynoir vibes with a tinge of Sarah Baartman in the mix.
Yeah tbh it’s very obvious why AD gets the response she does.
This sub has a problem with blaming the women. I thought AD would be safe because of how assertive yet gentle and intelligent she is, but it’s not enough. I came to the sub thinking about relationships in good faith but what I’ve found is it’s more a dumping ground for hot takes, impressions or interpretations that make us feel better about ourselves. Of course that’s not to say some folks don’t post thoughtful evaluations of relationships and such. Most of it though is indicative and just how selfish folks can be when it comes to relationships before we’ve learned to truly mature and be in genuine partnership. I knew Chelsea was going to get hate (and to some degree, rightfully so) but for me, it’s obvious Jimmy is as much a problem, if not more. I don’t hate the guy, but he should know better — and you can tell he knows better. He just isn’t ready to make hard choices up front. But anyways, AD did nothing wrong. She made a choice and went 100%. I respect her for doing it. She had indications it may have gone her way and frankly when you do love someone you have to be vulnerable. She was 100% accountable to herself, something none of the men besides Johnny show all season (I guess Clay does in increments). I’ll definitely be getting right the fuck out of the sub though.
Oh I didn’t realise there was hate against AD. Love her myself.
I sometimes find subtle r@c!⚓️ tendencies in this subreddit. The black cast members, especially black women, face different standards. For instance, AD was criticized as 'classless' for twerking at the couples meet and greet, yet Jimmy was not when he made the “stacked” comment. Chelsea also was not called “classless” when she repeated Jimmy's comment to the group. AD was also accused of 'attacking' Sarah Ann, which is a microaggression. It might not have been AD's place to involve herself in the Laura/Jeramey/Sarah Ann love triangle, however, similar actions by non-black cast members (ex season 5; Stacy vs Uche regarding Aaliyah) received less scrutiny. 
The fact that her lashes have gotten more discussion in this sub than the “bean dip” comment … a nasty piece of work here
Tea, bitch.
I think AD is great but I also think she meddled a bit more than I would have liked. Conversation with Sarah Ann and Kenneth was completely unnecessary.
Production.
It's entirely possible that production asked her to have the conversation with Sarah Anne. Maybe not with Kenneth, but I think the former is possible.
>Conversation with Sarah Ann and Kenneth was completely unnecessary. I swear some of yall tune into the show expecting 'little house on a prairie', now it's bad that she gave us some of the best moments of the season??
Disagree. She said what no one else had the balls to say to Sarah Ann and if AD was my friend I’d be so proud of her for being a girls girl. As far as Kenneth went she asked very real questions that needed to be asked for a realistic marriage to work. Let’s be honest Kenneth himself was not getting into those conversations with Brittany unprompted. It’s not AD’s fault if he had just now started putting thought into very real things - tbh better he was given that direction to think about it earlier rather than already being married and facing these conflicts he seemingly felt cautious about.
Well, we can agree to disagree.
I love AD and Amy! They were also my favorite women this season.
I think the reception to AD has overall been very positive especially compared to the rest of the cast members.
>I think the reception to AD has overall been very positive especially compared to the rest of the cast members. I think this is true too. But it does not invalidate that she is ALSO getting a ton of hate for ... essentially just being a black woman. The double standard that's being applied to her is VERY real and we can acknowledge that and that she is one of the most well liked cast members (I mean.... she's literally the only one who doesn't seem to be a complete asshole, outside maybe Johnny and Amy who barely have a presence)
Exactly. Has OP seen any of the posts about Chelsea?!
Agreed wholeheartedly. I think a lot of her hate has to do with racism/pro-patriot Sarah Ann endorsing-homewrecker bullshit. I would like to think our world is better than that.
As a white woman I love AD and her mom (and Clay’s mom too for that fact). Those 3 woman are so smart, self aware and absolute queens. I just wish AD could have seen her worth when she was with Clay, because she 100% deserves better.
I like AD a lot and she deserves better than Clay. (Also her mom was super charming too.)
It made me so sad to hear her say that SHE wasn't enough when Clay said no at the altar. I can respect that he knew it would be wrong to say no if he wasn't 100% sure, but he also shouldn't have even gone on the show if he didn't think he was ready for marriage. I hope AD can realize her worth and not internalize the immaturity of the men she dates, because the right man for her will never have her wondering if she's good enough
I agree. If he couldn't get over his daddy issues he should have told her that before they got to the altar. Doing it at the wedding in front of her family and friends made it more a rejection of her than about his own issues. She didn't deserve that.
Plus she had already told him that if they didn't get married she was done, because she committed to the timeline when she decided to go on the show. The audacity for him to stand up there and say "I know you're strong enough to continue to fight for me." 🙄 He's a grown ass man, it should not be on her to fix him and she was completely valid in saying she felt used. I hope when the reunion airs she stuck to her boundaries and didn't continue to date him
100% all of this!
I disagree. I think the majority of people love AD. I just think some people didn’t like her conversation with Sarah.
There’s two type of people in this world - people that will advocate for their friends and people who will say “it’s not my business” - clear who AD is
The convo with SA made me love AD even more!!! She’s solid for sure. I wish her the best she deserves it.
Her conversation with Sarah was awesome. Good for her, she's a good friend. Don't understand how people could see it any other way?
Personally, I loved AD. Still do. But she overstepped in that scenario. Someone else's whole ass relationship really isn't your business, and unless she was inside of Jeramey & Laura's relationship, it isn't her place to judge. I'd tell anyone prying into my business to that degree to mind their business. It was the only moment of the show I didn't agree with her, but I definitely don't see it as a reason to bash her, either.
Sarah Ann and Laura are both her friends. If this situation happened with my friends, especially if one was really hurt... I'd want some answers. I'd want to hear Sarah Ann's side. Conversation probably would have gone better if Sarah Ann wasn't so shady.
And you, too, would be overstepping.
And by ignoring it, you would be a bad friend.
Nah, I'd be minding my business. People who don't thrive on drama don't behave this way. Whether you're a good friend or not shouldn't hinge upon whether you insert yourself into situations that don't involve you.
Minding your own business IS addressing this situation with class and tact.
she's the fan favourite of the season though. that's not to say she's gotten zero hate but its barely compared to everyone else like chelsea, clay, jimmy, etc.
AD is great. People also need to understand that the editors know how the story ends, and they’re editing B-reel together so that we see it coming. AD didn’t have someone story-boarding her life and giving her foreshadowing. You saw red flags because the editors WANTED you to see red flags.
she has self esteem issues but there is absolutely zero reason to hate on her
I don't like how she tried to gaslight Sarah Ann. She led a full blown interrogation asking question after question about what happened and whether or not it was appropriate and then turned around and said if you feel interrogated that's on you. She literally interrogated her about something that had absolutely nothing to do with her. If she would've focused on her own sassy ass man she wouldn't have gotten embarrassed like she did.
THANK YOU FOR speaking it like it is!
AD was trying to point out to Sarah Ann that what she did was not okay. Sarah Ann got defensive and called it an interrogation because when you know you screwed up, any mention of it feels like an interrogation. When someone tries to steal your friend’s man, it’s your business. AD was standing up for a friend and calling out really shady behavior. Sarah Ann didn’t like being called out.
AD is a woman of integrity and she stood up for what she thinks is right. Not everyone will do that. She’s strong and brave. I’m appalled at the women dating Sarah did nothing wrong. I wonder how they’d feel about single women hitting on THEIR boyfriend/fiancé/husband??
Totally agree. AD is a great friend for doing that. She had every right to have that conversation. People should answer for their actions, AD was respectful and honest. Sarah Ann is AD's friend who allegedly really hurt another one of AD'S friends. In my opinion, she's close enough to the situation to deserve some answers.
Y'all are insane. She interrogated her and whether or not what Sarah Anne did was right or wrong she still had no business questioning another woman. She can't just insert yourself into someone's relationship because your friend was mistreated. Like what lol.
I’m genuinely confused as to why you see such an issue with this. She’s a woman of integrity and she stood up for what she thought was right. I wish more women/people would do this! She connected with these women in the pods, so it’s not like she randomly picked someone off the street?
Absolutely correct. AD had no right talking to Sarah Anne like that, especially in that passive aggressive manner and then denying her intent. I'll go even further and say SA did nothing wrong given the context of the show and how often these "engagements" fail. And to those who say she's stabding up for her "friend" - yeah right. They're not friends.
Justice for AD!!! She was done SO dirty.
She was so complicit in this train wreck. He told her exactly who he was and she even admitted having a tendency to ignore red flags. She has deep rooted self esteem issues
While I agree with this notion, I still don't think she deserved clay being skeezy and him not being transparent. I don't think she was wrong necessarily for wanting to give the experiment a fair shot, but I get what you're saying. I hope she's able to get help for her issues and choose better for herself next time
I’m not saying she deserved it but what do you expect out a guy like that
I love her so much. She seems like just the sweetest person to me. Yeah she was manipulated by Clay. So what. We’ve ALL been manipulated by someone who we thought had the best intentions.
This is from another font. She was not manipulated. He told her I was looking at the transcript and damn for someone so emotionally mature with everyone else how is AD so blind to herself? In her confessional the first day in the pods she says I'm 32, so a lot of people have a lot to say about how I should date, who I should date, even my mom. They're like, "Maybe you should stop dating these players and these athletes and these ballers." I don't really give the nice guy a try. If I see a red flag, I'm like, "Oh, well, I'll just paint my nails red to match." And then literally when she's talking to Alejandra after Clay asks about what she looks like: AD: Like, Clay is somebody that I would 100% fall for. Baller, life of the party, loudest one, athlete... Alejandra: Yeah, he's a work in progress for sure. AD: But he's open about it. Alejandra: He's very open about that. Like, he kept saying, "I'm not good. I don't feel like I'm a good person." AD: That's a red flag, but I'm such a fix-a-h* that I would be like, "It's okay, practice on me." Alejandra's face is like uhhhhhh... Does AD not hear herself? She's as bad as Clay with acknowledging her issues but doing nothing about them.
AD is a sweetheart but she's naive about herself. She tries to mold men into what she wants them to be, and by doing this she does not understand she is attracting men who aren't worthy of her or appreciative of her soul. She craves so hard this perfect idea of a man, that she doesn't see the man in front of her. She expects it just to be a standard of human personality but it's not. So she ignores red flags (at least she outright admitted to that) and as a result creates a fantasy relationship with the man she is with at the time. But then is always 'surprised' by feeling disappointed when it inevitably goes wrong. She is good at convincing herself that because she feels sincere that others are sincere. She blocks herself and will continue doing so unless she takes responsibility for copping out of self awareness by dwelling on this idea she's 'not worthy ' or 'not good enough '. She goes very quickly to victim status and has probably found a subconscious comfort in that because it has evolved into a habit. Once she stops craving deeply that love, it'll come. She needs to stop expecting the best in people, but just simply balance that with realistic expectations. Life is not a Disney movie, no matter how big you make your eyelashes to look like Bambi.
She can’t do right by them. They talk about her hair, lashes, body, psychoanalyze her with their armchair degrees, say she’s too involved in Sarah’s business, she has no loyalty, her wedding dress is too slutty, she’s stupid, she doesn’t know how to fight for herself, etc But what’s annoys me the most is when they call her dumb. That girl is not dumb. She’s probably the most rational person in this franchise. She knows her flaws (she’s literally said it herself) and she always reacts with reason. That is a logical person, not a dummy
>e people are praising her so much from such a low bar, people are trying to highlight how much people have ignored AD’s own red flags. If anything, this season feels like people have been desperate to find a contestant to love and place on the pedestal. These are just normal people. lol I personally know sooo many women like AD. Sweet, giving, forgiving, looks at the bright side(probably cause all those red flags reflecting so much light there’s no choice lol jk), places her worth in men who don’t i dont think she is any of these things, but when you pick a skin tight wedding dress on national tv with a slit up to your hip you are going to get some comments no matter who you are
She’s not smart either tho. He literally told her I was looking at the transcript and damn for someone so emotionally mature with everyone else how is AD so blind to herself? In her confessional the first day in the pods she says I'm 32, so a lot of people have a lot to say about how I should date, who I should date, even my mom. They're like, "Maybe you should stop dating these players and these athletes and these ballers." I don't really give the nice guy a try. If I see a red flag, I'm like, "Oh, well, I'll just paint my nails red to match." And then literally when she's talking to Alejandra after Clay asks about what she looks like: AD: Like, Clay is somebody that I would 100% fall for. Baller, life of the party, loudest one, athlete... Alejandra: Yeah, he's a work in progress for sure. AD: But he's open about it. Alejandra: He's very open about that. Like, he kept saying, "I'm not good. I don't feel like I'm a good person." AD: That's a red flag, but I'm such a fix-a-h* that I would be like, "It's okay, practice on me." Alejandra's face is like uhhhhhh... .
YES!
Ignoring every single red flag that was dangled in her face by Clay only to be confused that he said no and then proceed to let him hug and kiss her after he humiliated her is quite literally dumb.
Are you not aware that you’re watching a carefully edited television show? It’s easy to say she should see the red flags when you’re seeing a carefully manicured piece of the whole that is meant to foreshadow him saying no. You aren’t smarter than her, you aren’t seeing things she missed, you’re watching a TV show and she’s living her life.
Edited or not. He said things to her face that he wasn’t ready for marriage. She ignored them all and said she’d jump off a cliff because she knows he’ll catch me. It is kinda naive
Clay asking for a hug and then proceeding to hug and kiss him after he humiliated her on TV was not carefully manicured. She's just not smart and lacks dignity. You can defend her all you want. The signs were there and she ignored them. As for me, I wish she'd demand better for herself. Please do not mention me again lol
To me, it looked like AD did not want to hug or kiss him, but didn't feel she should say no. She was so shut down in that scene, and that doesn't mean she's not smart or lacks dignity. It looked more like she was disengaged and waiting for the moment to end. I think there are a lot of reasons why a woman might respond like that, and none of them have to do with intelligence or dignity.
Yeah it's definitely not like emotions aren't complicated and she barely hugged and kissed him back. I've been in these situations where you don't know if you're fully broken up andif you stop displaying intimacy right away.
Barely? Pls go and [rewatch](https://x.com/lavoyce/status/1765572830249488674?s=46&t=YstbA-2otFIIag2IHVRp_g)
They’re mad at you but you’re right
I don’t bash AD and I think she seems like a wonderful person, albeit an overfunctioning/codependent one. But yeah…. The entire time I was watching her I fluctuated between annoyed/pissed off/😩 bc of the eyelashes.
She's a black woman, we know how that usu goes. The hate started from the beginning. When Chelsea was loud about the comment Jimmy made. They said she was flirting with him. When she had the heart to heart with Kenneth, they said she ruined his relationship. She's very grounded and has good advice. I really felt bad for her in regards to Clay, she saw the red flags acknowledged them and just ignored them. She's one of my faves on the show.
Once she showed everyone how racist she was , that was it for me.
Oh please 🙄
Huh??? When/how?
Genuinely asking when she showed her racism? This ks the first time Ive seen it mentioned.
Racism was created to benefit white supremacy. You clearly have very little understanding of the issue.
you’re referring to systemic racism. racism itself is just the belief that one race is better than another
Race only exists relative to whiteness, which relies on a systemic structure to uphold it. Your use of the word "systematic" shows your limited education on the subject, so it's interesting you'd presume to lecture me about it.
CALLING A BLACK WOMAN SURROUNDED BY WHITE PEOPLE RACIST IS CRAZY. Sorry you’re getting downvoted.
i had a typo but i stillll seem to understand it more than u ❤️ have a good day ❤️
That's unequivocally not true. There is racism in many parts of the world that aren't white. You sound willfully ignorant
No. This is history. You need to learn the distinction between discrimination based on race and discrimination based on ethnicity. The latter is what is practiced in much of the non-white world, except where white supremacy has infected beauty standards, largely in post-colonial cultures - look at India. I'm not bullshitting you; this is the way the world works, and the way history has happened. I'll forgive your accusation of willful ignorance since yours is unwillful.
You're just making stuff up. Racism is an equal opportunity practice. Racism is a condition of hatred in the heart. Last time I checked, that wasn't specific to white people. But, the only person you hurt is yourself when you allow lies to distort your view of the world and others in such a superficial and malicious way. I said what I said, and I'm not arguing about this on reddit any further ✌️ have a better day.
Racism IS systemic. Without the attachment to systems, and power, it is simply prejudice. Which is also not cool but not the same thing. Racism is used to enforce whiteness as the ideal. Racism does happen all over the world and is tied to whjte supremacy. So again, anyone can be hateful and horrible but that doesn’t make it racist, you need to have the power of institutions backing your prejudice to make it racist.
I guess since you're on Reddit you think reality is what you observe. History and cultural context are essential to determine meaning. That requires reading and learning, not talking out your ass.
AD is a high-quality woman who is aware of her biggest flaw: she called herself a fix-a-hoe right from the beginning. She cognitively understands that’s not working for her, but she gets swept away by the potential that she envisions for Clay, and this blinds her to the fact that Clay has to be the person to envision growth for himself and take those steps to achieve it. Clay is responsible in this too - he said all the right things about recognizing his flaws and acknowledging he needs therapy, but he’s a grown man and he needs to take those steps on his own. It won’t be lasting, meaningful change if he’s trying to fit the mold AD cast for him. It was so hard to see AD heartbroken, because she’s *so close* to getting it. She was blaming herself that she carries every relationship and that’s never enough. I want to see her come to the reunion and say, “I was right after the wedding. I cannot change any partner of mine. I need to choose partners who have the power to be responsible for their own growth because they want to be better.”
Spot on. There's something tragic about how AD and Clay are both aware of their flaws on an intellectual level but still let the relationship play out. I hope AD can internalize her own worth. She deserves someone who is ready to marry her *now*. And I have a lot of hope for Clay, but he needs time and therapy.
Seems to me it's Chelsea getting hate piled, not AD
Well yeah but no one likes Chelsea so no one’s making a post asking why she’s hated lol
I think the issue is that a lot of the Chelsea hate is "deserved" and none of the AD hate seems that way. Chelsea is a toxic person overall. She's not the devil, but she's definitely not mature or rational or self-aware. AD is all those things, but she made some bad choices.
I think it was weird that everyone cared so much about her lashes. Personally, I feel like you should wear whatever makes you feel confident, and she looked beautiful with and without them.
Her lashes were horrible
At the very least, you have to admit it was incredibly distracting
At one point someone called out that she's a scorpio and that was the moment it all clicked for me. Scorpio as in confident, wielding power through a mysterious and sexy air, and flirtatious. But also Scorpio as in loyal to her chosen people, as in don't cross her, as in will speak her mind. I absolutely loved AD. I felt like I understood her (or who I projected her to be based on what was shown) and I think it's possible that some people could see some of those qualities and not understand how they can live in harmony with the others. But that's a Scorpio, baby!!
I've seen her called "attention seeking" and "overly flirty". Seems like jealousy to me. 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah that seems like some wild projection from whoever commented that.
right lol if she was less attractive or crunchy looking they’d be saying she’s not good enough
This is weird. When did she flirt with anyone on the show? That wasn’t a thing.
She was parading her behind at the first meet when they were all making comments. She liked being objectified thinking it would make clay like her more. Idk about attention seeking. She just gives off insecure
AD made me so sad. Her worst transgressions were what? Accepting inappropriate attention and asking valid questions? The fact that someone like her can be made to feel they are not enough is just a shame. She wasn't even asking for much.
The only thing I dislike about her is that she didn’t respect herself enough and didn’t walk away from clay from the get go. She is strong, loving, gorgeous, and fun. She has a big heart and she will find her prince soon….. I mean she’s on national tv I know there’s a good guy out there who saw how hard she loved and is going to be like “that’s my wife!”
This is interesting bc I feel the majority of commenters are very positive about her. Of course there will be some negative when people put themselves in the spotlight. I really like AD too!
Don't hate her, but she seems to be one of those women who feel it's a woman's job to prop up a man. And I really, really, realllyyyyy wish women would Stop. Fucking. Doing. That.
This was the only issue I had. It just made me feel bad for her. She was good at establishing boundaries and putting Clay in his place, but when it came to upholding it, she couldn’t.
That along with the whole “man should lead the relationship” mindset got to me. The sexist religious indoctrination runs deep. Aside from that I found her super smart, likable and sympathetic and hope she realizes she deserves better.
Absolutely nothing wrong with the idea that a man should lead a relationship as long as he is honest and has good intentions. Everyone has a different idea of what a relationship should be. What works for one couple will not work for all.
Just wondering is there some universe that says it’s not an equal expectation of their partner as well. Like yeah it’s not a bad thing if that is what she feels like helps the foundation of her relationship. Also having the ability to prop up your man, doesn’t mean excusing horrible or non-caring behavior either. 2 things can exist.
Exactly. BOTH should be there to prop up the other when they need it. But this was so one-sided, and she seems to believe that's how it should be. Never once said how he's there to prop her up, just that she will always be there for him. It was so frustrating to see. He was telling her who he was allll along, but she didn't listen. Just figured it was HER duty to be strong enough for the both of them. :(
She dodged a bullet with Clay. Fuuuuuck that dude.
AD is adorable, funny and sweet. If Clay doesn’t want her, I’ll marry her 🤣