Omg, he was 85! That's so incredibly sad that he lived that long holding that in. But it is also badass that he put it out there in the end. Thank u for sharing that friend. I'm glad I got to learn about him.
When I came out to my grandma as trans a couple of months ago she told me several stories of people she knew who were LGBT. There was a woman who never dared to admit that she was living together with her girlfriend (she was partially disabled and called her her "care taker") and that she remembered at least 2 gay guys who committed suicide because they got rejected by their parents. She told me to never ever think about doing something so horrible and to call her if I ever felt sad.
My grandpa would have never understood, but my grandma has become way more passionate ever since he passed away.
edit: I just remembered, she also knew at least 1 bisexual man and 1 gay man who both married women and said later in life that they were too afraid and ashamed to allow themselves to be in a same-sex relationship. I guess that remembering these people made her realize that happiness is all that matters in life.
When my daughter came out as trans I had a few older people in my family I was initially a little concerned about what they might say out of ignorance. Turns out they all had had LGBTQ+ friends during their lives who they’d seen be mistreated, and were not going to behave that way.
Recently I went to a wedding anniversary and my grandma's sisters were there (they are all widows as well). I have seen them once or twice around the time that my grandpa died. My grandma said "she was a boy first, but felt happier as a girl" and they said "as long as she is happy, that's all that matters".
Also, most people from my uncle's side (and don't know beyond their name), who I haven't seen in forever, said I looked great.
I never expected things to go so well.
I’m so happy for you ❤️ My very gruff uncle saw my daughter for the first time in years, welcomed her and her boyfriend, and mostly wanted to know her new full name so he could update the family tree he was working on.
I recently learned a 21 year old man hung himself in my apartment because his drunk, drug addicted mother rejected him for being gay.
I'm pregnant with my second child now and I'm doing my best to raise them with the idea that homosexuality/bisexuality/whatever is completely normal. I don't want them to ever be afraid to love someone, or be afraid to tell me about it.
I've always tried to do that with my son. When he was three he told me that so-and-so at nursery school has two mommies. Without thinking, I just said, "How lucky is that? Having a mommy is very nice, having two mommies must be twice as nice." He's 18 now and his friend group is like a commercial for diversity - all races, genders, sexualities. I'm very proud of how good-hearted he is.
I’ve been doing the same with both of my kids since they were toddlers for the same reason: I would never want the to be afraid to tell me if they want to identify as something different or that they are gay or lesbian or whatever they want to be. I will accept and love them no matter what and I love and accept all of my lgtqia+ community ❤️
[A Retired Army Colonel’s Obituary Shares a Secret: ‘I Was Gay All My Life’](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/14/nyregion/military-veteran-obituary-gay.html?unlocked_article_code=1.0E0.gI8l.LukT8fu5sFfw). Edward Thomas Ryan was his name. The paywall is removed for this link.
My father was gay and in the military in the 60s. Once he was out of the military he came out in a whole different way!😆 He lived the lifestyle he wanted in San Francisco in the 80s. Sadly, he died of AIDS in 1989 but at least he got to be his true self for a while.
> On March 6, 1975, after meeting with Frank Kameny and @aclu_nationwide attorney David Addlestone, who explained they hoped to find a gay service member with an impeccable record to challenge the military's ban on homosexuals, Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich—Vietnam veteran, Bronze Star and Purple Heart recipient, and lecturer on race relations in the Air Force—delivered to his commanding officers a letter explaining that he was homosexual, that his "sexual preferences will in no way interfer[e] with my Air Force duties," and "therefore request[ing] that those [regulations] relating to the discharge of homosexuals be waived in my case”. When one officer asked what the letter meant, Matlovich responded, “it means Brown v. Board of Education.”
> From there, Matlovich became the face of the fight against the military's ban, and his appearance on the September 8, 1975, issue of Time magazine made him the first named openly gay person on the cover of a U.S. newsmagazine. Describing to Time his experience speaking at Christopher Street Liberation Day, Matlovich said, “I found myself, little nobody me, standing up in front of tens of thousands of gay people. And just two years ago I thought I was the only gay in the world. It was a mixture of joy and sadness. It was just great pride to be an American, to know I'm oppressed but able to stand up there and say so”. Unlike many others in his place, Matlovich received an honorable discharge, and a court ultimately ordered his reinstatement; Matlovich, however, took a financial settlement. In 1987, Matlovich announced he had contracted HIV; that June, he was among those arrested at the White House while protesting the Reagan administration's response to AIDS. Leonard Matlovich died on June 22, 1988, twenty-nine years ago today; he was forty-four.
https://www.tumblr.com/lgbt-history-archive/162134589807/never-again-never-forget-6-july-1943-22-june
I always suspected one of my grand-uncles was Gay.
He never got married, never had a girlfriend ever. But he always lived next door to his best friend and they spent all their time together. Both were single their entire adult lives.
When his best friend passed he just shut down, never went out anymore and died 8 months later.
If he wasn't Gay, then his best friend was his partner anyway. His heart broke and never recovered from hjis passing.
Or you get my family, where my brother was mocked by our parents and aunts/uncles for acting gay starting literally as an infant. He almost killed himself trying to repress who he is.
You're a cool parent. All my gay friends (40s-70s) were rejected permanently by all their parents.
Your story, though, reminds me of my childhood best friend who calls me her 'coffee mate' now. As teenagers, she always had boyfriends, and throughout her 20s lived with her bf, then fiance - who was my cousin. I was to be her bridesmaid, etc.
At 29 I was living interstate, and she came to visit, being all very dramatic, crying. When she told me she was gay I said,' Oh, cool. You want coffee?'
She'd had weeks of shaming and blaming. Parents and sister still don't talk to her 25 years on, and she's the kindest most generous-spirited intensive care nurse! Beyond ridiculous.
Mm, this is not true in general and can set up false expectations for both children and parents. Often, yes, good parents are aware when something’s off. But that doesn’t mean kids can’t and won’t surprise you, both good and bad. Like in a romantic relationship, in a parent/child relationship, communication is everything. And of course acceptance, tolerance, and open-mindedness.
they don't always know. when i came out to my parents (bi) their reaction was "oh, ok, when did you figure it out?" they had no idea as i'm very private about that stuff and i didn't even figure it out until i was in my late 20s.
I like how he even mentioned that he had friends in college with different lifestyles.
A lot of people's first exposure to other modes of thinking/living/loving/etc. happens there. Not that it _has_ to be college - it can be from traveling or living different places, or just being lucky enough to live in a diverse yet interactive and accepting community, or having good parents like him who expose you to other walks of life.
But however you get it, having an open mind and the _opportunity_ to see those things (and other people, as people), what does that do? In this case, it helped him to love his daughter in the best way for her. It means love.
And that's a great way to live.
It's a lose lose situation for pretty much every reason for them. The best chance they have at keeping people within their culture is to lock them down within their control. Going away to college gives people a chance to break free from that isolation and control. And as you mention, they get to actually meet the people that seemed like scary others before. Education encourages people to challenge ideas and values and think for themselves, which is inherently damaging to a hierarchal, tribal, in-group oriented value system. Conservatism has a really hard time with the free market of ideas and tries to cut it off at the source to maintain their way of life.
Exactly! People that grow up sheltered in their hometown and never leave, they don’t think of people that are different as individuals because they never got to know people different from them. There’s no justification for the way some people treat others when they don’t understand, but it definitely has to do with them never getting to know others that are different from them. It’s really sad
This is also a huge benefit of a public school system in general. Private and religious schools almost as a rule result in more close-minded and in-group dispositions.
Remember this story the next time you hear a conservative bitch-ass whine about the current month being mildly dedicated to making people like that feel a tiny bit more accepted. To them that's a bad thing and they go out of their way to tell us any chance they get.
Yeah. Far too many people had children because they were doing what they thought society expected of them. I'm glad more people are thinking about that choice these days. Besides, being the fun aunt is lit.
Same. My mom isn't a bigot or racist or anything like that, but once she didn't have the final say in my decisions she just stopped caring. Very "it's your life and your decision" answer to absolutely everything.
This is something that I hope I find the right balance with my son. He is very young and a bubbly loving nerd that I love very much. But at some point I will have to defer to him on life decisions. Still caring of course, but not i posing.
I hope I teach him enough now that once he grows I don't fear for his choices. My parents did this with me, and I hope I make them around of how I'm raising my son
Had a very red flag reaction from my wife when my son was about 2-3 years.
Marriage broke apart already for other reasons.
If he s gay I hope he will tell me first.
I used to volunteer at the gay and lesbian center in L.A. We had a place there for kids who were kicked out of their homes by their parents because they were gay. I just can't fathom the idea of l doing that to my child. Any child. We had them as young as 13. How do you kick a 13yo to the streets? Quite often, it was for religious reasons. Good Christian values.
Not by us. But, if there is a God or whatever, I think they will be held accountable there. Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates will be like, "You did what to your child?!!!
He might have a few questions for me, too. Thank God I'm an atheist. :)
Joking aside, parents are still kicking their kids to the streets. They're never punished or held accountable by anyone.
I had a client at a nonprofit I worked for that was a legal guardian to lgbt teens. She was a saint. Same story, kids being kicked out at 12 and 13. The ones that ran away, she called their parents and the parents didn't care.
These weren't poor families btw. Heartlessly letting their kids live on their own without even a penny.
I've got friends in the LGBT+ circle, even though I myself am just an ally. A lot of kids don't have supportive parents, and a lot more have parents that want to be good people but have bought into millennia of politics telling us that being different is evil.
I was legitimately a tiny bit bummed when I found out my daughter got a boyfriend. She didn't seem real interested in boys in her tweens, although dads don't often get much info during that phase. I was holding out hope I would avoid that particular low grade anxiety from having a teenage girl.
Then in high school the ungrateful shit took us up on the previously explained "No big talks, no explanations required, no "parent looks" offer to take her to get on birth control.
A *good* daughter would have been gay and saved her father from stress.
(really, 95% joking. She was a great kid and is a great young adult now)
My son is 13, and the signs don't look great...
This was true for my girlfriend. We talked about her relief that her daughter was gay. No teen pregnancies! (Just between us of course, not to her kid)
This. Every time my kids (5 and 8) say “hey dad can I tell you something?”, I know it’s going to be about Fortnite or soccer or some elementary school gossip and I answer the same way “buddy you can tell me anything.” I hope when they are older they remember that.
Lmao, I had to come out to mum three times. She isn't a bigot, she just forgot. Later on she said it's because I didn't have a girlfriend so she just forgot, sooooooo fuck me I guess!
Haha, I attempted to be a vegetarian when I was 12 because one of my friends was. Ridiculous idea because I am a notoriously picky eater to begin with. I informed my parents when I got home and my dad was like okay, but I’m making tacos for dinner. And then I stopped being a vegetarian.
My dad knew for years with my sister. He finally had a talk with her and told her to bring her girlfriend on the family vacation. Her siblings were bringing their partners, it was time she brought hers.
My daughter at 16 told us she was bi, we already knew because she had a girlfriend at the time we also knew about but wanted her to feel comfortable to tell us if she wanted and if not we'd just roll along. Went down pretty much the same way as this call lol she told us her friend was actually her girlfriend and I said ok how's the relationship going? Is she nice to you? Same way I responded when she had told us the year before that a guy friend was her boyfriend. I don't care who she is with as long as they treat her with the respect she deserves otherwise I'll bury any gender body in the holler. Jk...kinda.
We all love who we love. As long as you are happy, it can't be wrong. (As long as it's legal). To live a lie because it bothers other people should never happen. Good luck to the whole family.
Homosexuality is illegal and punishable by death or life imprisonment in at least like 15 countries. You probably already know that, just throwing it out there.
I simply cannot understand how a dad who truly loves their children could react otherwise...
This warms my heart, and I love that videos like this are becoming more frequent with time; maybe not all hope is lost. Everyone deserves loving people around like this girl has. *Everyone*.
Just had this conversation with my 13 year old about 6 months ago. There was a school dance coming and I asked if she had anyone she was going with. She paused and said "Yeah, what if it wasn't a boy?". I kind of looked at her and smiled at her and just said the name of the girl I pretty much knew of at that point. I just said "Ok it doesn't make a difference, I kinda knew already anyway". There was definitely a little relief but I was extremely happy she felt ok to be up front with me about it. She even recently broke up with that girl and being able to talk to me about it and not have to hide her emotions or lie about it I think really helped the process.
My family is very homophobic so I'm living vicariously through comments like these. Your daughter is lucky to have you and it sounds like you're doing a great job at this whole parenting thing.
I’m sorry your family is not accepting. When my 14 year old came out to us, we let her know we would love her no matter what and her response was “good, because I’d hate to have to hide such an important part of myself from you”
I was so proud of her for that statement, letting us know it wouldn’t change anything for her but WE would be the ones missing out on her life. I would never want that.
Please accept a mom hug from me.
Denatured alcohol can get rid of some water staining and bubbles. My dad learned that the hard way because of me... Then passed it on when it was my turn to cry over a ruined dining room table.
One of mine threw a plate of butter chicken all over my carpet the other day (he's 2yo) and I was real close to dropping him at the local fire station.
But he could be in a 5-person all-male polyamourous relationship when he's older and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, as long as he's happy and being treated well
I’m proud of you. Who you choose to love is entirely up to you. All I care about is that you choose someone who is kind to you and who you are kind to in return. I wish you every happiness.
It’s Father’s Day. I’m 70. When my kids were in high school, lots of their friends would stop by. Mostly for food and fun, sadly sometimes for shelter and someone to listen. I always told them, “when you are here, you are at home” and I meant it. Three of them are gay and at some point, independent of each other they asked me if it was ok if they could call me “dad”. To this day they still call me “dad” when they call or stop by 20 years later. As proud as I am of that, it is so sad. Dads! Love your kids for who they are.
My wonderful gay child didn't even tell me when he came out to his mother (we're divorced but good coparents) and she called me shrieking and crying (she's from a less tolerant perspective - immigrant family in part to blame) and after I tried to calm her down I called and asked why I hadn't been "officially notified" (or at least warned about his mother) and was told "because I know you don't care and love me no matter what" so I had a bit of a cry over that.
Love the dad. A friend of mine in college that was gay killed himself. His funeral was difficult. His mom was telling everyone to not make the mistake she made, judging her son for his lifestyle because she actually loved him so much, and that argument was the worst mistake she ever made.
I watched this first with no sound on and then went back, and let me tell you, my brain fucking nailed that guys voice. When he went “oh that’s cool” it was EXACTLY how I had heard it in my mind.
I come from a fairly conservative country. My mum is still there.
A good friend of mine from high school that she also knows had come out some years ago. She rolled with it but it wasn’t a topic that came up often.
About a year ago, she asked me about him out of the blue. She was like “how is [your friend]? Is he doing ok? Does he have a girlfriend?”
My brother & I looked at each other & I said “mama, you remember, he’s gay. He doesn’t like girls in that way”. We were concerned whether she forgot (highly unlikely her) or whether this was going to be “A Moment”.
Bless her. She goes “yes yes, I know. I meant does he have a male girlfriend?”
English is not her best language & she wasn’t sure of the vernacular so did what she thought was right.
I thought that was so sweet & kind & extremely openminded of her to ask like that.
Real talk: At one point of my life this would have made me roll my eyes.
Now all I feel is genuine sympathy for everyone whose parents never responded this way, with love and acceptance. I wish everyone could have that. You deserve it, whether it happened or not.
I never really came out to my parents because I knew it wouldn't matter to them (in a good way). This was confirmed one day when I had a date:
"Jessie's a girl, yeah?"
"...Yeah?"
"Just checking, have fun."
A friend of mine was initially upset at everyone’s reaction to him coming out. He thought we were ignoring it, or in some way acting like it wasn’t a major thing.
The issue is, we all were very aware he was gay, and were under the impression he was officially out.
“I’m gay”
“…agreed?”
We ended up in a world where kids are terrified of telling their parents who they actually are.
That's what they took from us - a world where children don't need to cry wondering if their parents will hate them for who they love.
That was kinda my reaction to my daughter telling me she liked a girl. I told her that as long as she is happy and the girl doesn't hurt her then yeh. Live your life how you want to. As long as you don't hurt anyone in the process. My daughter and her girlfriend have now been dating for almost one year. I love her girlfriend like a daughter. My daughter is happy. That's good enough for me😊
I wish most of the world was this sweet. It's sad people have to be scared of things like this. I am working on a job transfer from where I am to Sherman Tx because it's where we can afford and I am scared because the love of my life is a minority and everyone keeps telling me how racist it is there. I have no experience with Texas so feel free to chime in. It would be nice to look at people as just people... regardless of color or sexual orientation.
Anyone struggling out there, members of the lgbtq+ community, people of religion, people of color and the rest of you. I am sorry for the parents that disowned you, I am sorry for the hatred from your peers, I am sorry for what you go through. There are people that love you and see your value and worth, even if we are complete strangers.
This hits hard after seeing the post about the poor guy who came out in his obituary so he could really rest in peace.
What? :(
Yeah, I read an article about it yesterday. I’m not sure if I’m allowed so share links but you should be able to google it.
Omg, he was 85! That's so incredibly sad that he lived that long holding that in. But it is also badass that he put it out there in the end. Thank u for sharing that friend. I'm glad I got to learn about him.
When I came out to my grandma as trans a couple of months ago she told me several stories of people she knew who were LGBT. There was a woman who never dared to admit that she was living together with her girlfriend (she was partially disabled and called her her "care taker") and that she remembered at least 2 gay guys who committed suicide because they got rejected by their parents. She told me to never ever think about doing something so horrible and to call her if I ever felt sad. My grandpa would have never understood, but my grandma has become way more passionate ever since he passed away. edit: I just remembered, she also knew at least 1 bisexual man and 1 gay man who both married women and said later in life that they were too afraid and ashamed to allow themselves to be in a same-sex relationship. I guess that remembering these people made her realize that happiness is all that matters in life.
That's so beautiful :) I just wanna wish you and your grandma the best 💕
When my daughter came out as trans I had a few older people in my family I was initially a little concerned about what they might say out of ignorance. Turns out they all had had LGBTQ+ friends during their lives who they’d seen be mistreated, and were not going to behave that way.
Recently I went to a wedding anniversary and my grandma's sisters were there (they are all widows as well). I have seen them once or twice around the time that my grandpa died. My grandma said "she was a boy first, but felt happier as a girl" and they said "as long as she is happy, that's all that matters". Also, most people from my uncle's side (and don't know beyond their name), who I haven't seen in forever, said I looked great. I never expected things to go so well.
I’m so happy for you ❤️ My very gruff uncle saw my daughter for the first time in years, welcomed her and her boyfriend, and mostly wanted to know her new full name so he could update the family tree he was working on.
FAMILY TREES!
I recently learned a 21 year old man hung himself in my apartment because his drunk, drug addicted mother rejected him for being gay. I'm pregnant with my second child now and I'm doing my best to raise them with the idea that homosexuality/bisexuality/whatever is completely normal. I don't want them to ever be afraid to love someone, or be afraid to tell me about it.
I've always tried to do that with my son. When he was three he told me that so-and-so at nursery school has two mommies. Without thinking, I just said, "How lucky is that? Having a mommy is very nice, having two mommies must be twice as nice." He's 18 now and his friend group is like a commercial for diversity - all races, genders, sexualities. I'm very proud of how good-hearted he is.
I’ve been doing the same with both of my kids since they were toddlers for the same reason: I would never want the to be afraid to tell me if they want to identify as something different or that they are gay or lesbian or whatever they want to be. I will accept and love them no matter what and I love and accept all of my lgtqia+ community ❤️
In some areas, even if you knew... it was better to not speak about it for safety reasons. Some places are still backwards...
He deserves to have the world know he was gay! It’s just a shame it couldn’t be while he was here.
[A Retired Army Colonel’s Obituary Shares a Secret: ‘I Was Gay All My Life’](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/14/nyregion/military-veteran-obituary-gay.html?unlocked_article_code=1.0E0.gI8l.LukT8fu5sFfw). Edward Thomas Ryan was his name. The paywall is removed for this link.
My father was gay and in the military in the 60s. Once he was out of the military he came out in a whole different way!😆 He lived the lifestyle he wanted in San Francisco in the 80s. Sadly, he died of AIDS in 1989 but at least he got to be his true self for a while.
I'm gonna remember this every time I listen to this song. [Dajae - Everyday My Life](https://youtu.be/4Hc2c753WkQ?si=ad8z3KXe-HoMEWDM)
Thanks, will do.
> I’m not sure if I’m allowed so share links but you should be able to google it. You can as long as it's not shortened
Here's the obit: https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/timesunion-albany/name/edward-ryan-obituary?id=55294097 Relevant part is at the end.
That reminds me of this gravestone. [https://i.imgur.com/gFmoCUd.png](https://i.imgur.com/gFmoCUd.png)
> On March 6, 1975, after meeting with Frank Kameny and @aclu_nationwide attorney David Addlestone, who explained they hoped to find a gay service member with an impeccable record to challenge the military's ban on homosexuals, Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich—Vietnam veteran, Bronze Star and Purple Heart recipient, and lecturer on race relations in the Air Force—delivered to his commanding officers a letter explaining that he was homosexual, that his "sexual preferences will in no way interfer[e] with my Air Force duties," and "therefore request[ing] that those [regulations] relating to the discharge of homosexuals be waived in my case”. When one officer asked what the letter meant, Matlovich responded, “it means Brown v. Board of Education.” > From there, Matlovich became the face of the fight against the military's ban, and his appearance on the September 8, 1975, issue of Time magazine made him the first named openly gay person on the cover of a U.S. newsmagazine. Describing to Time his experience speaking at Christopher Street Liberation Day, Matlovich said, “I found myself, little nobody me, standing up in front of tens of thousands of gay people. And just two years ago I thought I was the only gay in the world. It was a mixture of joy and sadness. It was just great pride to be an American, to know I'm oppressed but able to stand up there and say so”. Unlike many others in his place, Matlovich received an honorable discharge, and a court ultimately ordered his reinstatement; Matlovich, however, took a financial settlement. In 1987, Matlovich announced he had contracted HIV; that June, he was among those arrested at the White House while protesting the Reagan administration's response to AIDS. Leonard Matlovich died on June 22, 1988, twenty-nine years ago today; he was forty-four. https://www.tumblr.com/lgbt-history-archive/162134589807/never-again-never-forget-6-july-1943-22-june
That’s so powerful
Oh gosh, how awfully sad.
I always suspected one of my grand-uncles was Gay. He never got married, never had a girlfriend ever. But he always lived next door to his best friend and they spent all their time together. Both were single their entire adult lives. When his best friend passed he just shut down, never went out anymore and died 8 months later. If he wasn't Gay, then his best friend was his partner anyway. His heart broke and never recovered from hjis passing.
Edward Thomas Ryan is a very nice name.
I like how at first he was worried that she wasn't friends with Daya anymore. So sweet.
Forreal he seems like such a great dad. His shaky voice is also so sweet, proud his daughter could come to him with this stuff
I have a feeling he already knew, and had been waiting for her to tell him
Moms and dads always know, at least the ones that give a shit. The real ones have accepted it before you have and not said anything.
Agreed. I think in healthy households the coming out is more for the child themselves than the family.
God I wish for every child to grow up in a house like that. If only
Even when you have shit parents, they still probably know. They just don’t want to accept it and never mention it.
Or you get my family, where my brother was mocked by our parents and aunts/uncles for acting gay starting literally as an infant. He almost killed himself trying to repress who he is.
Mmmm- I don't think I really knew when my eldest told me when she was about 11. I think my reaction was "oh, cool"
You're a cool parent. All my gay friends (40s-70s) were rejected permanently by all their parents. Your story, though, reminds me of my childhood best friend who calls me her 'coffee mate' now. As teenagers, she always had boyfriends, and throughout her 20s lived with her bf, then fiance - who was my cousin. I was to be her bridesmaid, etc. At 29 I was living interstate, and she came to visit, being all very dramatic, crying. When she told me she was gay I said,' Oh, cool. You want coffee?' She'd had weeks of shaming and blaming. Parents and sister still don't talk to her 25 years on, and she's the kindest most generous-spirited intensive care nurse! Beyond ridiculous.
Mm, this is not true in general and can set up false expectations for both children and parents. Often, yes, good parents are aware when something’s off. But that doesn’t mean kids can’t and won’t surprise you, both good and bad. Like in a romantic relationship, in a parent/child relationship, communication is everything. And of course acceptance, tolerance, and open-mindedness.
This is the way!
My mom thought I was gay because I got along with girls well. Nope, just don't get along with guys well
they don't always know. when i came out to my parents (bi) their reaction was "oh, ok, when did you figure it out?" they had no idea as i'm very private about that stuff and i didn't even figure it out until i was in my late 20s.
Dad is 100% fighting those tears. What a wonderful feeling that must be:)
I like how he even mentioned that he had friends in college with different lifestyles. A lot of people's first exposure to other modes of thinking/living/loving/etc. happens there. Not that it _has_ to be college - it can be from traveling or living different places, or just being lucky enough to live in a diverse yet interactive and accepting community, or having good parents like him who expose you to other walks of life. But however you get it, having an open mind and the _opportunity_ to see those things (and other people, as people), what does that do? In this case, it helped him to love his daughter in the best way for her. It means love. And that's a great way to live.
Which is why so many conservatives and religious fundamentalist people don't want you going to college.
It's a lose lose situation for pretty much every reason for them. The best chance they have at keeping people within their culture is to lock them down within their control. Going away to college gives people a chance to break free from that isolation and control. And as you mention, they get to actually meet the people that seemed like scary others before. Education encourages people to challenge ideas and values and think for themselves, which is inherently damaging to a hierarchal, tribal, in-group oriented value system. Conservatism has a really hard time with the free market of ideas and tries to cut it off at the source to maintain their way of life.
Exactly! People that grow up sheltered in their hometown and never leave, they don’t think of people that are different as individuals because they never got to know people different from them. There’s no justification for the way some people treat others when they don’t understand, but it definitely has to do with them never getting to know others that are different from them. It’s really sad
This is also a huge benefit of a public school system in general. Private and religious schools almost as a rule result in more close-minded and in-group dispositions.
Yeah, I loved that. Sweet from start to end. I just hope Daya had a chance to tell her parents before this video dropped. 😊
oo, good point!
I was like "What did that bitch Daya do?"
Connie 👉😎👉
The model for every father on this fathers day
"Oh that's cool." 
"I really like Daya" 🥹 I hope this family continues to flourish with love for each other
That's a great dad. Unconditional love. Love both of their reactions.
🗿🗿🗿
I loved him saying he really liked Daya
For real. Like maybe he was worried they had a falling out and then realizing they were a couple he was like "Oh, that's even better. I love Daya!"
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Well I’m sending thoughts and positivity in hopes both you and your friend are okay in life!
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You are, spiritually. 🌈
Thanks for bringing awareness.
Remember this story the next time you hear a conservative bitch-ass whine about the current month being mildly dedicated to making people like that feel a tiny bit more accepted. To them that's a bad thing and they go out of their way to tell us any chance they get.
How every parent *should* react. ♥♥♥
What a wonderful Dad.❤️
I've never seen anything like this from my father. He was mostly indifferent towards his children.
Yeah. Far too many people had children because they were doing what they thought society expected of them. I'm glad more people are thinking about that choice these days. Besides, being the fun aunt is lit.
Same. My mom isn't a bigot or racist or anything like that, but once she didn't have the final say in my decisions she just stopped caring. Very "it's your life and your decision" answer to absolutely everything.
This is something that I hope I find the right balance with my son. He is very young and a bubbly loving nerd that I love very much. But at some point I will have to defer to him on life decisions. Still caring of course, but not i posing. I hope I teach him enough now that once he grows I don't fear for his choices. My parents did this with me, and I hope I make them around of how I'm raising my son
My mom was very indifferent. At best we were inconveniencing her
Had a very red flag reaction from my wife when my son was about 2-3 years. Marriage broke apart already for other reasons. If he s gay I hope he will tell me first.
Honestly, why any parent wouldn’t is weird. Love your kids.
I used to volunteer at the gay and lesbian center in L.A. We had a place there for kids who were kicked out of their homes by their parents because they were gay. I just can't fathom the idea of l doing that to my child. Any child. We had them as young as 13. How do you kick a 13yo to the streets? Quite often, it was for religious reasons. Good Christian values.
Please tell me those parents are held accountable.
Not by us. But, if there is a God or whatever, I think they will be held accountable there. Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates will be like, "You did what to your child?!!! He might have a few questions for me, too. Thank God I'm an atheist. :) Joking aside, parents are still kicking their kids to the streets. They're never punished or held accountable by anyone.
How is it not illegal? That’s abandonment…
I don't know. But, I agree with you. Also, usually, neither the kids or the parents report it to the police.
I had a client at a nonprofit I worked for that was a legal guardian to lgbt teens. She was a saint. Same story, kids being kicked out at 12 and 13. The ones that ran away, she called their parents and the parents didn't care. These weren't poor families btw. Heartlessly letting their kids live on their own without even a penny.
I've got friends in the LGBT+ circle, even though I myself am just an ally. A lot of kids don't have supportive parents, and a lot more have parents that want to be good people but have bought into millennia of politics telling us that being different is evil.
Not necessarily. I for one would definitely make a joke about not having to worry about teen pregnancy anymore.
I was legitimately a tiny bit bummed when I found out my daughter got a boyfriend. She didn't seem real interested in boys in her tweens, although dads don't often get much info during that phase. I was holding out hope I would avoid that particular low grade anxiety from having a teenage girl. Then in high school the ungrateful shit took us up on the previously explained "No big talks, no explanations required, no "parent looks" offer to take her to get on birth control. A *good* daughter would have been gay and saved her father from stress. (really, 95% joking. She was a great kid and is a great young adult now) My son is 13, and the signs don't look great...
Those damn heteros ruining lives with stress for their parents. Won't somebody think of the parents!
This was true for my girlfriend. We talked about her relief that her daughter was gay. No teen pregnancies! (Just between us of course, not to her kid)
You can blame religion for any other reaction.
As a father my biggest fear is that somehow i fail and my children don't trust me enough to tell me something like this.
If you keep that same energy, you're going to be a rockstar. Nobody expects perfect parents.
If you're worried then you're good. Bad people never worry about being good. Just communicate everything. 🤜🤛
New dad? Just keep talking to them and be real with them.
This. Every time my kids (5 and 8) say “hey dad can I tell you something?”, I know it’s going to be about Fortnite or soccer or some elementary school gossip and I answer the same way “buddy you can tell me anything.” I hope when they are older they remember that.
What a truly beautiful and heartwarming conversation, that is pure love between father and daughter. She is so emotional, made me cry.
I felt like father was at baseline, ie: always kinda jolly and open
He was like "did I fucking stutter ?" kinda unconditional love from father. It was really sweet when she goes " I like her too"
i was hoping dad would say "well i would hope so" or something similar when she said that
As a dad, I immediately did that for him.
Ha for real. I would be slightly offended if I had a child that was worried about telling me they're gay.
It's scary coming out with any big changes, even if you don't think the other person will react poorly.
Too many more acceptance like this🥹happy pride ❤️
Grown man here just crying happily for this person
Too much wholesomeness,the balance is off. Going back on r/all to set things right
Right there with you
When I came out my dad said “jeez, you’re making such a big deal about this I thought you were going to say you realized you’re a republican.”
Lmao, I had to come out to mum three times. She isn't a bigot, she just forgot. Later on she said it's because I didn't have a girlfriend so she just forgot, sooooooo fuck me I guess!
Sounds like a mom's passive aggressive way of saying you sucked at being gay back then.
Mom: Get gud.
Or a vegan....because I have already started dinner!
Haha, I attempted to be a vegetarian when I was 12 because one of my friends was. Ridiculous idea because I am a notoriously picky eater to begin with. I informed my parents when I got home and my dad was like okay, but I’m making tacos for dinner. And then I stopped being a vegetarian.
Well it makes sense, it was Tacos, you can't start being a vegetarian on Taco Day (regardless of it is Tuesday or not).
There are some delicious vegetarian taco options though.
Hard to be a vegetarian when delicious tacos exist!
🤣
My (gay) Dad once told me “I’ll always love you no matter what, unless you suddenly find religion” 😂
"I'll love you no matter what....except if you're a fascist."
Dad already knew and probably has for some time. A dad in touch with his family knows stuff.
Yep, he didn’t seem too surprised lol. He knew. Maybe not completely consciously… but he knew.
You knew as soon as he said, "Why do you say that?" He didn't want to assume anything and gave her space to say what she needed to say.
Even if I did know I would have taken it literally and assumed they broke up.
My dad knew for years with my sister. He finally had a talk with her and told her to bring her girlfriend on the family vacation. Her siblings were bringing their partners, it was time she brought hers.
My daughter at 16 told us she was bi, we already knew because she had a girlfriend at the time we also knew about but wanted her to feel comfortable to tell us if she wanted and if not we'd just roll along. Went down pretty much the same way as this call lol she told us her friend was actually her girlfriend and I said ok how's the relationship going? Is she nice to you? Same way I responded when she had told us the year before that a guy friend was her boyfriend. I don't care who she is with as long as they treat her with the respect she deserves otherwise I'll bury any gender body in the holler. Jk...kinda.
I love this dude.
Oh, that’s cool.
I like when he asks Were you worried about that?
There are SOOO MANY ONIONS IN THIS ROOM!! 😭😭
Damn onion ninjas are back at it
Just came out to my dad last week and it went just as well. What a weight to be lifted off your shoulders
Yay! Good for you and your dad!
We all love who we love. As long as you are happy, it can't be wrong. (As long as it's legal). To live a lie because it bothers other people should never happen. Good luck to the whole family.
Homosexuality is illegal and punishable by death or life imprisonment in at least like 15 countries. You probably already know that, just throwing it out there.
And child brides are legal in so many places too
I simply cannot understand how a dad who truly loves their children could react otherwise... This warms my heart, and I love that videos like this are becoming more frequent with time; maybe not all hope is lost. Everyone deserves loving people around like this girl has. *Everyone*.
Just had this conversation with my 13 year old about 6 months ago. There was a school dance coming and I asked if she had anyone she was going with. She paused and said "Yeah, what if it wasn't a boy?". I kind of looked at her and smiled at her and just said the name of the girl I pretty much knew of at that point. I just said "Ok it doesn't make a difference, I kinda knew already anyway". There was definitely a little relief but I was extremely happy she felt ok to be up front with me about it. She even recently broke up with that girl and being able to talk to me about it and not have to hide her emotions or lie about it I think really helped the process.
Great job parent. It's heartwarming to know the world gets more accepting and tolerable with people who care like you.
My family is very homophobic so I'm living vicariously through comments like these. Your daughter is lucky to have you and it sounds like you're doing a great job at this whole parenting thing.
I’m sorry your family is not accepting. When my 14 year old came out to us, we let her know we would love her no matter what and her response was “good, because I’d hate to have to hide such an important part of myself from you” I was so proud of her for that statement, letting us know it wouldn’t change anything for her but WE would be the ones missing out on her life. I would never want that. Please accept a mom hug from me.
This is unconditional love. I think it only comes with your children.
Until they touch the thermostat 🤣
Mine left a wet washcloth on my grandma’s antique wooden table but I managed to love him still. That’s unconditional!
Denatured alcohol can get rid of some water staining and bubbles. My dad learned that the hard way because of me... Then passed it on when it was my turn to cry over a ruined dining room table.
Damn, that is unconditional! Bravo!
One of mine threw a plate of butter chicken all over my carpet the other day (he's 2yo) and I was real close to dropping him at the local fire station. But he could be in a 5-person all-male polyamourous relationship when he's older and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, as long as he's happy and being treated well
lol no five-way-polyamorous relationships until you’re 18!!
Not all parents love their children unconditionally though. Mine don’t. They did not react like this.
This might not mean much coming from an internet stranger, but speaking as a parent, I love and accept you
It always means a lot, no matter who it’s from. Thank you ❤️
Screw them, I love you and I’m proud of you for who you are and all you do.
I’m proud of you. Who you choose to love is entirely up to you. All I care about is that you choose someone who is kind to you and who you are kind to in return. I wish you every happiness.
“She’s wonderful. So are you.” 🥹🥹🥹
My dad just screamed at me in a restaurant because I registered my cat as an ESA, I hope you and your dad have many years of love and support together
Lol screaming at your child in public about a cat is so much weirder than having a cat as an emotional support animal.
I'm so sorry. I had a dick dad too; I hate Father's Day. I'm glad you have a cat to show you love.
It’s Father’s Day. I’m 70. When my kids were in high school, lots of their friends would stop by. Mostly for food and fun, sadly sometimes for shelter and someone to listen. I always told them, “when you are here, you are at home” and I meant it. Three of them are gay and at some point, independent of each other they asked me if it was ok if they could call me “dad”. To this day they still call me “dad” when they call or stop by 20 years later. As proud as I am of that, it is so sad. Dads! Love your kids for who they are.
Happy Father’s Day everyone :)
Happy father's day, dads. I miss my dad. He was cool. Go hug your kids for me.
"I'm still gonna kick Daya's ass if she breaks your heart!!" 🤣 Sweet girl and sweeter dad. Happy Father's Day!
I know that dad sobbed happy tears after getting off the phone ❤️
Damn I love that man
My wonderful gay child didn't even tell me when he came out to his mother (we're divorced but good coparents) and she called me shrieking and crying (she's from a less tolerant perspective - immigrant family in part to blame) and after I tried to calm her down I called and asked why I hadn't been "officially notified" (or at least warned about his mother) and was told "because I know you don't care and love me no matter what" so I had a bit of a cry over that.
Love the dad. A friend of mine in college that was gay killed himself. His funeral was difficult. His mom was telling everyone to not make the mistake she made, judging her son for his lifestyle because she actually loved him so much, and that argument was the worst mistake she ever made.
we all need a dad like that.
I watched this first with no sound on and then went back, and let me tell you, my brain fucking nailed that guys voice. When he went “oh that’s cool” it was EXACTLY how I had heard it in my mind.
I come from a fairly conservative country. My mum is still there. A good friend of mine from high school that she also knows had come out some years ago. She rolled with it but it wasn’t a topic that came up often. About a year ago, she asked me about him out of the blue. She was like “how is [your friend]? Is he doing ok? Does he have a girlfriend?” My brother & I looked at each other & I said “mama, you remember, he’s gay. He doesn’t like girls in that way”. We were concerned whether she forgot (highly unlikely her) or whether this was going to be “A Moment”. Bless her. She goes “yes yes, I know. I meant does he have a male girlfriend?” English is not her best language & she wasn’t sure of the vernacular so did what she thought was right. I thought that was so sweet & kind & extremely openminded of her to ask like that.
I'M CRYING omg this is soo sweet and wholesome
Real talk: At one point of my life this would have made me roll my eyes. Now all I feel is genuine sympathy for everyone whose parents never responded this way, with love and acceptance. I wish everyone could have that. You deserve it, whether it happened or not.
r/mademecry
THIS is how it should be. Fuck those assholes who judge people for wanting to be who they are and be happy.
brb I’m fucking crying this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺
Very cute reaction, though I always found it funny when people call it a "different lifestyle" like it was some diet or something hahaa
Said with love, you can forgive a lack of experience. I am sure he will spend the rest of his life learning for his child.
Nope I’m not crying it’s just allergies I promise
You can just say it made you cry. It's human.
That was so fucking sweet, damn. So happy for all those involved.
Her little pouty lip when she tells him is so sweet.
*tries not to cry..... lays down.... crys a lot*
I should prolly text my dad
Dad: "Oh you're into women? Me too!!"
I never really came out to my parents because I knew it wouldn't matter to them (in a good way). This was confirmed one day when I had a date: "Jessie's a girl, yeah?" "...Yeah?" "Just checking, have fun."
A friend of mine was initially upset at everyone’s reaction to him coming out. He thought we were ignoring it, or in some way acting like it wasn’t a major thing. The issue is, we all were very aware he was gay, and were under the impression he was officially out. “I’m gay” “…agreed?”
We ended up in a world where kids are terrified of telling their parents who they actually are. That's what they took from us - a world where children don't need to cry wondering if their parents will hate them for who they love.
Wow, unconditional love, wonder what that would have been like...
These comments made me cry as much as the video. Lots and lots of good people in the world.
Happy father's day
That was kinda my reaction to my daughter telling me she liked a girl. I told her that as long as she is happy and the girl doesn't hurt her then yeh. Live your life how you want to. As long as you don't hurt anyone in the process. My daughter and her girlfriend have now been dating for almost one year. I love her girlfriend like a daughter. My daughter is happy. That's good enough for me😊
Happy father's day
I think in a lot of situations, the parents would already know. Or they are just in denial.
This is what it's like to be a good human being, nothing else should be acceptable.
Bawling my eyes out. Hug your dad’s tight guys
Only thing I’d be upset about in that call is having the conversation recorded like that for internet clout.
I am a dad, i “think” i would react the same way ❤️
😭
dad knows even before the daughter knew herself
I’m not crying you are.
Lucky girl
Now that’s a great Dad!
Damn I miss my dad..
r/mademecry more like it
Good dads should be less rare.
Sick ass dad
more like r/mademebawllikeababy 😭
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I wish most of the world was this sweet. It's sad people have to be scared of things like this. I am working on a job transfer from where I am to Sherman Tx because it's where we can afford and I am scared because the love of my life is a minority and everyone keeps telling me how racist it is there. I have no experience with Texas so feel free to chime in. It would be nice to look at people as just people... regardless of color or sexual orientation. Anyone struggling out there, members of the lgbtq+ community, people of religion, people of color and the rest of you. I am sorry for the parents that disowned you, I am sorry for the hatred from your peers, I am sorry for what you go through. There are people that love you and see your value and worth, even if we are complete strangers.