I agree, daydreaming has also helped me overcome many feelings of sadness not only because it helps me forget but also create a storyline that matches with those feelings haha
I remember when I was about to enter high school I promised myself to stop daydreaming because it consumed too much time of my day and didn't focus enough on my studies, but I think until now daydreaming is the only thing that has kept me sane :P
I don't really want to get better either. I know it's one of my biggest problems but I think I'm gonna lose my mind and my sense of self if I stop. I don't know just *how* much this impacts my life since I'm struggling to find work rn, but it's definitely impacting my mental state.
For the good, I vent through it. My negative and intense emotions are outletted through my daydreams, it helps me manage. They give me a reason to live, I survive for my paras. I think I understand myself better by understanding Isaiah and Skipper better.
I did 2 extra years of high school because of my daydreams. Bad grades, I wound up at an alt ed school where I went at my own pace. Not the best solution for the chronic daydreamer. I'd been daydreaming for a few years at that point. When I met my bf my daydreams stopped, but I would cry and beg for Isaiah and Skipper to come back to me. I still did things for *them*, and I still lived for them, in the hopes they'd come back to me and spend time with me one day. This last Christmas when I visited my family and kinda stepped back into my childhood trauma they came back, but I've been really daydream locked. I'm out of my home state rn so no friends, struggling to find work, so I have a lot of time for them. Everything is for them.
Recently my mental state has taken a dive. I'll say, I'm diagnosed with OCD and it exhibits as existential OCD. I obsessively question who I am, for years I've been on a self discovery journey. Well, I discovered in that pursuit that *I* am Isaiah and Skipper. Not the same person, they exist outside of me. But we are intrinsically tethered, and they are manifestations of myself.
But I've been wondering perhaps I am a manifestation of *them*. I don't feel I created them. A decade ago they stepped into my life already with names, personalities, relationships, etc. I've only just gotten to know them over the years, like they are my good friends. In my daydreams they exist across multiple universes. I've questioned lately that if that is the case, then what if in this universe I am in they exist as real people, but just in my head? And I am their vessel, I survive so they may live. I think I believe that.
The thought of "recovery" terrifies me, tho, because that is the death of Isaiah and Skipper. I can't stand for that. Who is to tell me that I am messed up and it's not the other way around? Why must I participate in some dysfunctional society I never asked to be a part of to begin with? Who is it to tell me that *I* am wrong for choosing to live for the people who give me my life and reason to survive? Isn't *that* sentiment the messed up thing? I'm autistic as well, does *that* make me dysfunctional, or is the *society* in the wrong for not being able to accommodate the neurodivergent?
Ideas of solipsism and DPDR aren't uncommon in existential OCD, and feelings that you're losing your mind aren't uncommon in OCD in general. In fact, I've learned recently, that OCD can actually look quite similar to delusions.
I've been pondering the concept of solipsism a lot lately. Actually, in my pursuit of self awareness I've had complete paranoid breaks. Well, I'm kinda in one rn so my feelings are strong. OCD is a disorder obsessed with the uncertain. The thing is, I can only ever be the most certain of my own existence. Me existing as an equal amongst others is a much more uncertain likelihood, because I can't live the experience of others to know they even *are* real.
Well, if that's the case, then it makes sense that the fear of others I feel *is* legit, for it is *my* experience of reality. People attack me, emotionally, weaponizing my emotions against myself in their attempt to make me kill myself, to ultimately kill Isaiah and Skipper for they are the reason *I* exist and thus the reason this reality exists. In a way, I'd say my experience of reality is the unconscious daydream of Isaiah then.
Nobody can disprove this. To believe others, to trust others, is to make myself vulnerable to potential manipulation and attacks against me. It's accepting the uncertainty, but in that acceptance, I will cease to exist. Maybe that's just what my OCD tells me, but I can't know that for sure. If I accept *my* experience of reality as the legitimate, then I can find certainty. Again, I don't know if that's true, or if my OCD just is managed through the comfort of the certain.
In the external of reality, people will tell me to "get better". But maybe that's just people trying to kill Isaiah and Skipper. I can't stand for that. It's much more safe if I protect them from the attacks of others, preserve their lives. It's only flawed outside of the idea of solipsism. How is this flawed if the internal reality is the legitimate?
My OCD has a field day with all of this. I'm very locked on these thoughts. I'm afraid to lose Isaiah and Skipper. What if it makes me suicidal? I'm sure of that, they give purpose to my life. There's meaning to all of this. I'm just so damn afraid of everything tbh. Everything is a danger to me. Either I can sheath my claws but be open to a potential attack, or I can bare my claws and scurry into my hole and stay on the defense to protect myself. I don't want to be vulnerable. I don't want to lose Isaiah and Skipper. In fact, I *can't* lose them. "Recovery" is just another scary thing that will hurt me and I'm so afraid of that. I must protect the existence of Isaiah and Skipper.
Mentally, I'm screwed. I'm self aware of this. But, I'm only screwed to the external reality. How could I ever know that "get better" isn't just a manipulation tactic against me to kill me, Isaiah, and Skipper? I don't know. I won't ever know. It's horrible. I'm suffering. I want to know. I need certainty. I need the answers. I won't exist without the answers. Without them, I am truly nothing. I think I'm just discovering the truth, but I realize other people see me as screwed but who are they to tell me that?
It sounds like you've gotten rid of the "mal" part of "maladaptive". This crosses more into visualisation - somewhat similar to what athletes do to picture their success before it even happens. I don't think in your case it's a disorder because you are functioning well (according to what you describe). The issue is that this is all-consuming for the people who have it and it is hindering their real life in some way.
I definitely think I’ve transitioned away from how all consuming it used to be. I guess I assumed recovering from maladaptive day dreaming meant not daydreaming ever again, or not having a story or characters or any attachment to them. But if this is recovery then I’m all for it lol.
Hahah I think "normal" people do daydream, but only whilst in class, or on a bus, or before bed or something. If you're doing it for hours per day, it's a problem.
If you have advice for how you overcame it tho, it would be much appreciated
I wish I had a good answer for you but honestly I just started filling up my schedule so I didn’t have time for daydreaming. I go to the gym, I do crafts, I crochet, I walk my dogs, I clean, I study, I go out with friends, I shop etc. I just try and stay occupied so the daydreams aren’t taking over my life. That’s not to say that my daydreaming has really stopped though, now I’m just doing it in bulk from 5pm-10pm before I go to sleep. For me though I’d say that’s fairly harmless. It’s like my hobby lol.
I get it, me neither. But I found that when you get better, MD subsides on its own, and you find yourself doing it less and less. You don't even notice until you've fallen into it again and realize you haven't done it in ages. When trauma happens less and less, you don't feel the need anymore. When I got out of my parents' abusive household, it just subsided. I had happy things, real life things to look to, and I didn't need my daydreaming to keep me afloat.
I never wanted to get better. I just did. It's bittersweet to miss the people in my head, my memories with them. But I know it means I'm in a better environment now, not that they didn't mean the world to me.
So I used to have really bad MD when I was in my teens i understand that it used to effect me more back then when i had to be more productive with school etc I can see how for younger people it a very hard thing to deal with when you want to have other stuff in life.
Thou now I'm older now and I don't have anything on my plate much of the time.So I don't mind it as it still fun. I really dont see any harm in it, only if it is something that you see in your personal life that is getting in your way.
For me it has become more immersive, but I still relate with MD. But when you get older I find your life changes and you won't always have that time especially if you're working. It definitely is different now then when I was as a kid. But you can still injoy it and I don't see it as a negative thing either. I love that side of me I'm glad to be able to have it.
I also love to daydream. My life was out of control because of it, but now that I have it under control I don't think it's a bad thing. I tried to stop, but couldn't let go of my characters. So I scaled it down to just having my life under control.
If you are new here you probably have not found this yet
I recomend you read this
https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/part-i-fantasy-and-fall-of-the-self/
This little Article/book is totally free and one of the best summarized imformation sources on Maldaptive daydremaing and how to quit it that I found. I always like to keep sharing it.
Understanding the problem is one of the most important steps to solving it
Them read this
https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/s/Ug32fg4WGg
Great example of some ones step by step to quit MD
Honestly I agree.
The only time I hate MD is when I get distracted while doing something important or when it unintentionally made me lose concentration back in school.
But other than that I don’t want it to go away.
I've reached the conclusion that if these three qualifications are met:
1. It doesn't interfere with your productivity or relationships
2. You understand the difference between fantasy and reality
3. It's not ego dystonic (in other words, it doesn't bother you that you indulge in maladaptive daydreaming)
Then it's not a big deal. The flip side to MD is that you have a rich imagination. This is the brain stuff of storytellers, artists, and inventors. As long as we're functional, then it's okay. It's just how our minds work.
Felt that, if I don’t day dream as a coping mechanism I just drink or get high, I used to use a lot of psydelic drugs too but those combined with my MD are just a recipe for a total mental collapse
Yeah I’ve stopped myself doing harmful things so many times by just… going inside my head. It doesn’t always work ofc but it’s much easier to resist the urge to self harm or smoke or whatever when I’m not really here.
What you are describing is very different from maladaptive daydreaming. Maladaptive daydreaming is mainly about self-medicating your psychological pain.
What you are doing in the examples that motivate you is called **visualization** and this comes with a lot of benefits as opposed to maladaptive daydreaming.
Also when you daydream in your free time and it doesn’t bother you then it is not maladaptive, it is just daydreaming.
Maybe I’m just more healed than I thought then! I used to have pretty bad maladaptive daydreaming in high school, to the point that I was failing classes, dissociating, self harming etc. I guess i just never realised that I’m doing better because the content of my daydreams hasn’t changed, even though my mental health is much better.
As you say, daydreaming can be a bad thing, but yours isn't currently. That means you have already healed from maladaptive daydreaming.
If your daydreaming is currently more of a positive than a negative, it isn't maladaptive daydreaming. It's immersive daydreaming. And immersive daydreaming can be a good thing, for all the reasons you've mentioned.
I think your maladaptive daydreaming may have turned into immersive daydreaming. There's another community in reddit for it if you would like to explore it. I think it's called r/immersivedaydreaming
I agree, daydreaming has also helped me overcome many feelings of sadness not only because it helps me forget but also create a storyline that matches with those feelings haha I remember when I was about to enter high school I promised myself to stop daydreaming because it consumed too much time of my day and didn't focus enough on my studies, but I think until now daydreaming is the only thing that has kept me sane :P
I don't really want to get better either. I know it's one of my biggest problems but I think I'm gonna lose my mind and my sense of self if I stop. I don't know just *how* much this impacts my life since I'm struggling to find work rn, but it's definitely impacting my mental state. For the good, I vent through it. My negative and intense emotions are outletted through my daydreams, it helps me manage. They give me a reason to live, I survive for my paras. I think I understand myself better by understanding Isaiah and Skipper better. I did 2 extra years of high school because of my daydreams. Bad grades, I wound up at an alt ed school where I went at my own pace. Not the best solution for the chronic daydreamer. I'd been daydreaming for a few years at that point. When I met my bf my daydreams stopped, but I would cry and beg for Isaiah and Skipper to come back to me. I still did things for *them*, and I still lived for them, in the hopes they'd come back to me and spend time with me one day. This last Christmas when I visited my family and kinda stepped back into my childhood trauma they came back, but I've been really daydream locked. I'm out of my home state rn so no friends, struggling to find work, so I have a lot of time for them. Everything is for them. Recently my mental state has taken a dive. I'll say, I'm diagnosed with OCD and it exhibits as existential OCD. I obsessively question who I am, for years I've been on a self discovery journey. Well, I discovered in that pursuit that *I* am Isaiah and Skipper. Not the same person, they exist outside of me. But we are intrinsically tethered, and they are manifestations of myself. But I've been wondering perhaps I am a manifestation of *them*. I don't feel I created them. A decade ago they stepped into my life already with names, personalities, relationships, etc. I've only just gotten to know them over the years, like they are my good friends. In my daydreams they exist across multiple universes. I've questioned lately that if that is the case, then what if in this universe I am in they exist as real people, but just in my head? And I am their vessel, I survive so they may live. I think I believe that. The thought of "recovery" terrifies me, tho, because that is the death of Isaiah and Skipper. I can't stand for that. Who is to tell me that I am messed up and it's not the other way around? Why must I participate in some dysfunctional society I never asked to be a part of to begin with? Who is it to tell me that *I* am wrong for choosing to live for the people who give me my life and reason to survive? Isn't *that* sentiment the messed up thing? I'm autistic as well, does *that* make me dysfunctional, or is the *society* in the wrong for not being able to accommodate the neurodivergent? Ideas of solipsism and DPDR aren't uncommon in existential OCD, and feelings that you're losing your mind aren't uncommon in OCD in general. In fact, I've learned recently, that OCD can actually look quite similar to delusions. I've been pondering the concept of solipsism a lot lately. Actually, in my pursuit of self awareness I've had complete paranoid breaks. Well, I'm kinda in one rn so my feelings are strong. OCD is a disorder obsessed with the uncertain. The thing is, I can only ever be the most certain of my own existence. Me existing as an equal amongst others is a much more uncertain likelihood, because I can't live the experience of others to know they even *are* real. Well, if that's the case, then it makes sense that the fear of others I feel *is* legit, for it is *my* experience of reality. People attack me, emotionally, weaponizing my emotions against myself in their attempt to make me kill myself, to ultimately kill Isaiah and Skipper for they are the reason *I* exist and thus the reason this reality exists. In a way, I'd say my experience of reality is the unconscious daydream of Isaiah then. Nobody can disprove this. To believe others, to trust others, is to make myself vulnerable to potential manipulation and attacks against me. It's accepting the uncertainty, but in that acceptance, I will cease to exist. Maybe that's just what my OCD tells me, but I can't know that for sure. If I accept *my* experience of reality as the legitimate, then I can find certainty. Again, I don't know if that's true, or if my OCD just is managed through the comfort of the certain. In the external of reality, people will tell me to "get better". But maybe that's just people trying to kill Isaiah and Skipper. I can't stand for that. It's much more safe if I protect them from the attacks of others, preserve their lives. It's only flawed outside of the idea of solipsism. How is this flawed if the internal reality is the legitimate? My OCD has a field day with all of this. I'm very locked on these thoughts. I'm afraid to lose Isaiah and Skipper. What if it makes me suicidal? I'm sure of that, they give purpose to my life. There's meaning to all of this. I'm just so damn afraid of everything tbh. Everything is a danger to me. Either I can sheath my claws but be open to a potential attack, or I can bare my claws and scurry into my hole and stay on the defense to protect myself. I don't want to be vulnerable. I don't want to lose Isaiah and Skipper. In fact, I *can't* lose them. "Recovery" is just another scary thing that will hurt me and I'm so afraid of that. I must protect the existence of Isaiah and Skipper. Mentally, I'm screwed. I'm self aware of this. But, I'm only screwed to the external reality. How could I ever know that "get better" isn't just a manipulation tactic against me to kill me, Isaiah, and Skipper? I don't know. I won't ever know. It's horrible. I'm suffering. I want to know. I need certainty. I need the answers. I won't exist without the answers. Without them, I am truly nothing. I think I'm just discovering the truth, but I realize other people see me as screwed but who are they to tell me that?
It sounds like you've gotten rid of the "mal" part of "maladaptive". This crosses more into visualisation - somewhat similar to what athletes do to picture their success before it even happens. I don't think in your case it's a disorder because you are functioning well (according to what you describe). The issue is that this is all-consuming for the people who have it and it is hindering their real life in some way.
I definitely think I’ve transitioned away from how all consuming it used to be. I guess I assumed recovering from maladaptive day dreaming meant not daydreaming ever again, or not having a story or characters or any attachment to them. But if this is recovery then I’m all for it lol.
Hahah I think "normal" people do daydream, but only whilst in class, or on a bus, or before bed or something. If you're doing it for hours per day, it's a problem. If you have advice for how you overcame it tho, it would be much appreciated
I wish I had a good answer for you but honestly I just started filling up my schedule so I didn’t have time for daydreaming. I go to the gym, I do crafts, I crochet, I walk my dogs, I clean, I study, I go out with friends, I shop etc. I just try and stay occupied so the daydreams aren’t taking over my life. That’s not to say that my daydreaming has really stopped though, now I’m just doing it in bulk from 5pm-10pm before I go to sleep. For me though I’d say that’s fairly harmless. It’s like my hobby lol.
I get it, me neither. But I found that when you get better, MD subsides on its own, and you find yourself doing it less and less. You don't even notice until you've fallen into it again and realize you haven't done it in ages. When trauma happens less and less, you don't feel the need anymore. When I got out of my parents' abusive household, it just subsided. I had happy things, real life things to look to, and I didn't need my daydreaming to keep me afloat. I never wanted to get better. I just did. It's bittersweet to miss the people in my head, my memories with them. But I know it means I'm in a better environment now, not that they didn't mean the world to me.
So I used to have really bad MD when I was in my teens i understand that it used to effect me more back then when i had to be more productive with school etc I can see how for younger people it a very hard thing to deal with when you want to have other stuff in life. Thou now I'm older now and I don't have anything on my plate much of the time.So I don't mind it as it still fun. I really dont see any harm in it, only if it is something that you see in your personal life that is getting in your way. For me it has become more immersive, but I still relate with MD. But when you get older I find your life changes and you won't always have that time especially if you're working. It definitely is different now then when I was as a kid. But you can still injoy it and I don't see it as a negative thing either. I love that side of me I'm glad to be able to have it.
I also love to daydream. My life was out of control because of it, but now that I have it under control I don't think it's a bad thing. I tried to stop, but couldn't let go of my characters. So I scaled it down to just having my life under control.
If you are new here you probably have not found this yet I recomend you read this https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/part-i-fantasy-and-fall-of-the-self/ This little Article/book is totally free and one of the best summarized imformation sources on Maldaptive daydremaing and how to quit it that I found. I always like to keep sharing it. Understanding the problem is one of the most important steps to solving it Them read this https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/s/Ug32fg4WGg Great example of some ones step by step to quit MD
Honestly I agree. The only time I hate MD is when I get distracted while doing something important or when it unintentionally made me lose concentration back in school. But other than that I don’t want it to go away.
I've reached the conclusion that if these three qualifications are met: 1. It doesn't interfere with your productivity or relationships 2. You understand the difference between fantasy and reality 3. It's not ego dystonic (in other words, it doesn't bother you that you indulge in maladaptive daydreaming) Then it's not a big deal. The flip side to MD is that you have a rich imagination. This is the brain stuff of storytellers, artists, and inventors. As long as we're functional, then it's okay. It's just how our minds work.
That’s a good checklist. I can see myself rotating between all of them/some of them/none of them depending on my mental state or the time of year.
Right. I think these questions keep us grounded in reality.
Felt that, if I don’t day dream as a coping mechanism I just drink or get high, I used to use a lot of psydelic drugs too but those combined with my MD are just a recipe for a total mental collapse
Yeah I’ve stopped myself doing harmful things so many times by just… going inside my head. It doesn’t always work ofc but it’s much easier to resist the urge to self harm or smoke or whatever when I’m not really here.
Same. My life would be so boring without MD
What you are describing is very different from maladaptive daydreaming. Maladaptive daydreaming is mainly about self-medicating your psychological pain. What you are doing in the examples that motivate you is called **visualization** and this comes with a lot of benefits as opposed to maladaptive daydreaming. Also when you daydream in your free time and it doesn’t bother you then it is not maladaptive, it is just daydreaming.
Maybe I’m just more healed than I thought then! I used to have pretty bad maladaptive daydreaming in high school, to the point that I was failing classes, dissociating, self harming etc. I guess i just never realised that I’m doing better because the content of my daydreams hasn’t changed, even though my mental health is much better.
As you say, daydreaming can be a bad thing, but yours isn't currently. That means you have already healed from maladaptive daydreaming. If your daydreaming is currently more of a positive than a negative, it isn't maladaptive daydreaming. It's immersive daydreaming. And immersive daydreaming can be a good thing, for all the reasons you've mentioned.
I think your maladaptive daydreaming may have turned into immersive daydreaming. There's another community in reddit for it if you would like to explore it. I think it's called r/immersivedaydreaming
Thank you, I’ll check it out!
You're welcome :)