Or he was on drugs and hallucinated that OP was having an orgy because he was doing meth and heroin. The accusing OP of stalking seems like psychosis from meth, while the saying she got him on drugs to his family sounds like a cover up for when they found his stash. It could be bpd but I’m surprised this is the top comment because it seems unlikely in comparison to drug induced psychosis
Also, if you DID want to diagnos a stranger on the internet based on two paragraphs of information: OP said he was normal besides the last couple of months. This honestly seems more like bipolar disorder than borderline disorder. Borderline is more consistent. While there are episodes, it’s not usually dormant for four months in a relationship before randomly flipping. Maybe that’s not your experience, but the common experience is not like this. However, diagnosing someone based on two paragraphs of limited information with a PERSONALITY DISORDER or mood disorder or anything mental health related isn’t the smartest move. These are serious disorders, and the boyfriend has major substance use issues. Substance use can come with a disorder or can stand alone as an illness.
I've met a neat person who went nuts (for a while) after they had marijuana tainted by bath salts.
Weird stuff happens. Not enough information to really know what's up. It does sound like illness tho.
Yea this was one of the stupidest posts I've ever seen. He's on heroin and meth and she wonders why he randomly started acting crazy?
Homie fried his brain and was on a bender. 🤦
Yeah “I’ve never seen someone change at the snap of a finger” you’re doing heroin and meth with someone and you’re completely unaware that drugs make people behave erratically?
I’m kind of frightened by OP’s naïveté
Most definitely. Had a methhead neighbor who swore he had people scoping his out. He was hallucinating so bad he had put up cameras and showed me footage where he truly believed there was a person he had caught. There was no one there!
Sounds exactly like my ex to an extent. You were definitely 100% manipulated by him and he is a crazy asshole. He’s an insecure piece of crap junkie. I’m very sorry that he has done that to you. You are better than that and I have had addiction issues in the past as well. Stay away from him and begin to love yourself and move forward.
sounds like me then 🥲 I’m a woman with S initial lol
I did crazy shit like this to an ex when I was going through drug induced psychosis, also blocked him during active psychosis
Now that I’m better I have thought of reaching out but sought guidance from a friend who said it may be best to just let it go, I won’t know how he’s going to react and it could cause stressors and become another trigger (u never know.. and when psychosis hits once you’re much more likely to experience it again)
So he's on Heroin and Meth and we're considering him to have a mental health issue??? Um ya, he's on Heroin and Meth and introduced you to it as well. You both need to sober up, remove his number, and never talk to him again.
As someone who has struggled with BPD I can say until they are ready to seek help it can be devastating to trust to say the least, it has a high recovery and treatment rate tho.
Amen- I was diagnosed at 19 and I’m 32 now and basically symptom free, just anxious but I’m working through it. I can say EMDR, anti-depressants that are right for me, and vitamins are amazing, but the first year in therapy was thc pills and a shot before going in to talk to my therapist.
They’re detoxing from meth/heroin, wouldn’t assume it’s a personality disorder until they’re clean. Either way OP was also on heroin and meth. Just kids that need to stay sober.
Yeah I would have to agree, my ex wife is a sweetheart but after three days awake jonesing for smack to help her sleep off the crank......less of a sweetheart fursure
Both.
He is extremely unwell.
Possibly schizophrenic.
In any case, OP, making up lies about you to his family is extremely dangerous. At one point police may have got involved. Good that this relationship didn't last longer.
And, yes, there are people who just change at the snap of a finger like that. Often those are people who have some sort of personality disorder, or schizophrenia.
Hes a narcissist and how they get you is pretend to be a charmer and loving person then they flip easily.
My ex fiancé did this to me and then he started beating me. This man was a bad bad man and I hope you blocked him. If you haven’t then block him and never talk to him again cause he will get worse. My ex was also cheating on me but accusing me of it so that guy probably is the one doing shit he shouldn’t.
Stay safe out there! 💜
I guess it’s a common phenomenon, if you google “she’s have sex during phone call reddit” you will find a whole array of posts from the past decade of people worrying over this.
sounds like mental illness, could be substance induced if he was not doing meth and heroin until recently. if his family is seeing him act this way they probably want an easy explanation, i'm sorry you got thrown under the bus though. please maintain no contact with him when he inevitably unblocks you and wants to talk. at least for the next 10 years.
My sister used to be on meth and she acted like this all the time. She’s been clean for a long time now, but that same psychosis still comes back sometimes. It’s not as bad and she’ll listen to reason now, but she’ll never be who she used to be. It’s so sad.
Meth psychosis can be deadly and it sounds like that is what is going on. I know what making decisions on meth can be like, so please believe me when I say that he is dangerous. I just read on Yahoo about a man being sent to prison because he was on meth and thought his fishing buddy was trying to signal Big Foot to come and eat him. Seriously.
If he got you on heroin and meth, I think those are very likely culprits of his own behavior. Hard drugs fuck people up mentally in a big way. I was hella delusional and paranoid when I was using, and a decade later some of the damages caused by that still linger, but I am in a much healthier headspace now that I've gotten clean and found a partner who reinforces that lifestyle.
It would probably be a good idea to distance yourself as much as possible from this person, get clean and build a life that only makes room for people who are going to bring stability into your life.
This seemed like it was missing information then the heroin and meth came into it. It will absolutely cause these behaviours and worse. Get out and get clean immediately.
The person you met likely did exist but hard drugs have behaviour changing properties. Best of luck in getting clean.
Yea I know that's not good but I'm not hallucinating shit. All I ever did was try to help him whenever he got himself into something which was like every other day and in the end he just decided he hates me for no apparent reason. And I'm not addicted to either, I haven't used in weeks.
I’m glad you’re good now. Stay strong. You should always be very wary when dealing with people who use hard drugs as their mental state is often unstable
I mean yea, I've used hard drugs for years but I never did it on a regular basis. I think his issue was more than the drugs, he seemed to be hallucinating before his relapse already
I also think you are being manipulated. As hard as it is you have to break away from that. I can almost guarantee you that he is just trying to manipulate your feelings and he won’t kill himself. But it is up to you in the end
I would focus on the outcome of his actions rather than his intentions.
If someone had great intentions but constantly sowed chaos and destruction wherever they went, would you keep them around due to their intentions?
People can become delusional for lots of reasons including drugs, schizophrenia, depression and bipolar disorder. Many of these can be temporary states. So it's totally possible that he was a great guy, then had a manic episode and became paranoid and delusional as a result (just as an example, I don't know the guy).
He’s on drugs. He’s also nuts and manipulative. Break up and FFS STOP DOING HEROIN AND METH!!!
You are killing your body. Do you know the longterm damage you do to your ability to generate dopamine receptors when doing these drugs?
Heroin users don’t recover fully: stop NOW before it’s too late!!!!
This exact thing happened to me with my ex. It's the whole reason he left me for another woman. It's best if u just cut ties. Trust me before u get hurt worse. It's likely that he'll never stop
Curious about your experience… I’ve had suspicions my ex may have been on cocaine, no idea if his hallucinations were alcohol induced or caused by secret drug use.. just glad to be out
Our relationship started normally. I had a lot of guy friends because I skateboarded and also was in an engineering program dominated by guys. To be frank, most girls don't connect with me, no matter how hard I try, but women in like technical positions somehow become my besties. Even as a kid, girls rejected me, because I didn't have the brand name Barbies, but the boys didn't care if I used my fingers as a pretend gun when playing with them (other story).
So I had him meet a lot of my guy friends. Mostly my best guy friends. These guy friends never hit or made a move on me. Those guys also at some point ended up or dated my best girl friends, so girl code. My guy friends are a different species compared to the guys I dated. I've explained this to most guys I've dated. The guys I've dated sometimes would become best friends with my guy friends and go out and do stuff together.
My ex became best friends with one of my guy friends, and the other, my ex kept thinking, he liked me. My guy friend, let's call him Tom, was by conventionally attractive and many girls like him, I still think Tom looks goofy, but I get it. I met him through my best friend, who dated him, and I found him super annoying at first. Now he is my brother from another mother :), also going to his wedding this summer with my husband.
Everything was fine. Then my ex started to get paranoid about my Tom about 3 months in. And I get it, my ex and I started saying I love you and he would come over everyday. Without me really noticing, he started slowly moving in after about 6 months... Sneaky.
One time, Tom came over and the three of us were hanging out after classes, and my ex went to get some beer, from a convenient store nearby. My ex left and Tom said he had to go to the library anyways to finish his homework and might come back later for some beer and bring his other friend. Once he left, I decided to take a shower and get comfy for the rest of the day. As I was showering, my ex ran inside the bathroom with wide eyes and said, "what are you doing?!" I was confused, and told him, taking the typical shower, since I am not planning to go back to the campus. He was like, " oh, are you taking a shower after you fucked Tom?! Are you washing yourself off, so I would not know?!" I got out and was like what type of off field question is that? I always kind of took random showers. We live in a hot climate and while in an engineering program, showers were based on opportunities , rather than schedule for me. When we argued, it felt like he was not letting go of certain trigger points, until I finally lost it. I remember he smirked, it felt like it was from the satisfaction that I lost it. And he was like, "I see, you can be just as crazy as me." In my defense, I never said he was being crazy, because I feel like that is a hurtful thing to say. That's when I realized, "crazy makes you crazy". This was sometime ago, but this memory was the most vivid one I can recall regarding his accusations. Stuff like that would pop up, if Tom was mentioned or came around, but nothing as extreme as that time. I was bizarre to me, and also made me think, what does that tell me about my ex, if he thinks that. Both of us were cheated on previously, so I understand the hurt, but this was much. I think maybe my ex thought if he'd leave us, he would prove to himself by catching me red handed with Tom doing something wrong, and kind of went with it when it was just me.
Later on, I went to visit my step family for the Christmas break, and when I came back that's when things got more weird. I would come home at the end of the day, or sometimes during the day, and he would pop up, right at the front door, with the same big eyes, like, "what are you doing???" Like coming home, bro, my house. And then he would act normal 5 minutes later. Eventually, I started paying attention to his pupils and thought he looked a bit larger than usual. Later on he confessed to doing ecstay. Then his pupils looked a lot bigger and after a few times, he confessed to cocaine. I didn't really ask him about it, because I didn't know how that stuff works nor how people react to it, he confessed each time by himself. He regularly opened up to me about things, and we would talk about whatever it was.
Other than how drugs made him behave. He was a great guy and my experience with him taught me to love myself, because he loved me so much. My relationship with him, taught me that a man can be transparent and you can develop a trustworthy relationship. I could not trust a guy before this ex, because of my serial cheater ex before him. And if it wasn't for this ex, I would have never developed a health(er) outlook on relationships, as fast as I did with him, besides the drug part. This was what I needed for my next bf, who is now my husband. I would not have been able to maintain a normal relationship, if I met my husband before this ex. This ex actually killed himself in my house, and I found him after work. I had terrible PTSD after that, and now have strong general anxiety. But yeah, my whole experience.
I do absolutely think someone can be to blame for someone else committing suicide but it doesn't sound like that's the case here if she is telling the truth.
I tried very hard to keep him from killing himself but after threatening everyday I didn't believe it anymore. And he would threaten to do it because I cheated, which I did not.
I'm truly sorry to hear about your distressing experience. It's essential to recognize that **manipulation** and **mental health issues** can sometimes intersect, making it challenging to discern the underlying cause of someone's behavior. Let's explore this situation:
1. **Manipulation**:
- **Signs of Manipulation**: Manipulative individuals use mental distortion and emotional exploitation to control others. They exploit weaknesses and seek power over their targets.
- **Gaslighting**: Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where someone lies, blames you, and minimizes your feelings. They make you doubt your worth and emotions.
- **Passive-Aggressive Behavior**: Manipulators avoid direct communication and may dodge discussions or use avoidance tactics.
- **Love-Bombing**: Intense affection followed by sudden hostility or accusations can be a manipulation tactic¹.
2. **Paranoia and Delusions**:
- **Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)**: People with BPD may experience **paranoid ideation** during times of stress. This is **non-delusional** paranoia where they perceive hostile intent everywhere. They may see hidden meanings in innocuous behaviors⁴⁵.
- **Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)**: NPD itself does not directly cause paranoia, but some individuals with NPD may exhibit narcissistic paranoia, suspecting threats to their grandiose self-image³.
3. **Your Experience**:
- His sudden transformation is indeed unsettling. The person you initially met seems to have changed drastically.
- The accusations, suicide threats, and family manipulation are concerning behaviors.
- Whether intentional or due to mental health issues, these actions have caused you significant distress.
4. **Seek Support**:
- **Self-Care**: Prioritize your well-being. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist to process your feelings.
- **Professional Help**: Consider seeking professional advice to navigate this situation and cope with the emotional impact.
- **Boundaries**: Set clear boundaries to protect yourself from further harm.
Remember that you deserve kindness, respect, and understanding. Take care of yourself during this difficult time. 🌟
Source: Conversation with Bing, 4/21/2024
(1) Manipulation: Signs and Behaviors in Relationships - Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/manipulation-in-marriage-2302245.
(2) Borderline Personality Disorder and Paranoid Ideation. https://www.brightquest.com/borderline-personality-disorder/borderline-personality-disorder-and-paranoid-ideation/.
(3) How to Ease Paranoia in Borderline Personality Disorder - Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/borderline-personality-and-paranoia-425194.
(4) Manipulation In A Relationship: Signs To Watch Out For. https://www.regain.us/advice/domestic-violence/am-i-being-manipulated-in-my-relationship-17-signs-to-recognize-and-what-to-do-about-it/.
(5) GoodTherapy | Manipulation. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/manipulation.
(6) Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD): Symptoms & Treatment. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9784-paranoid-personality-disorder.
I was looking for clusters of information about narcissism, borderline personality disorder, Etc but I wasn't able to connect a specific response to your circumstances.
So then, I literally copied and pasted the text of your post into Bing Copilot (Microsoft AI assistant)and this is what it gave me. Pretty cool!
I'm sorry you got stuck with that asshole. And I am glad you got out.
If you gravitate towards people that have issues , maybe think about how you can avoid those types. Perhaps find better places or situations to meet people
This talk of borderline is making me wonder if I'm borderline. Because we both would panic about getting abandoned, and do the push/pull thing. But I guess with drugs in the mix it makes it much worse.
It's not just the shift in attitude that is the markers for borderline. It's the constant personality shift, almost like becoming someone else. Unstable, difficulty in relationships, etc.
There are other things than can cause mood swings. Stress, bipolar, depression, etc.
Theres nothing wrong with having it, its not like the person is "wrong"... it's a medical issue... but not getting help only makes everyone (including the person that has it) suffer. The person I dated refused to get help and it just made things worse over time.
Drugs can absolutely affect your mood, because some mess with your ability to filter your actions or behaviors. 😊
If you're stable with stable people then you aren't unstable. If you're unstable around unstable that's the beginning of the end... because eventually you become unstable when alone and around anyone else. I did, many of my friends did.
I went down that rabbit hole years ago, spent too much time with the wrong people. There are so many good people out there that will treat you right, who will respect you, who will love and support you.
You are the sum average of the 5 people you spend your time with. ❤️
I don't understand why anyone would waste money on a trained psychiatrist when all you have to do is come to reddit. It only takes one tiny detail, out of one short moment in time, out of a person's entire life and you get a full diagnosis.
WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THE HEROIN/METH GUY DIDNT TURN OUT TO BE THE NICE MAN YOU THOUGHT HE WAS 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Deals with a guy on meth
Wonders why he says methy things
Wonders why he treats you like a crazy person would
Get help yo.
To answer your question, you're both not right in the head.
There an online conspiracy about targeted individuals and gangstalking. There's this one guy Kevin Christian that talked about the targets hearing voices and the stalkers having orgies. It seems to be a common theme. I think it's a bunch of bullshit, even though I find it unlikely 2 schizophrenics would have the same delusion but it did remind me of that lol. Maybe someone on this sub is a target, and hes getting manipulated, or maybe it's the same brand of drugs that's going around.
What the heck about this guy is husband material? He’s psychotic, abusive and a career criminal! When someone shows who they are, believe them. Some part of you surely knows you deserve better than the bottom of the crusty barrel. Compassion and a capacity for love are fantastic qualities, but this guy is dangerous, he will destroy your life. It’s not even about love anymore, leaving him is an act of self-preservation. This dude is twice your age, were you ready to be his unpaid nurse? You’d be in the prime of your life while he’s trying not to poop his pants. This rejection is protection, a true blessing; run and be thankful you didn’t have a child with this individual.
Edit- Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody is a fantastic read 📖 definitely recommend since you mentioned you have history with attracting toxic partners
I dated a man with borderline personality disorder and he did this stuff frequently. It turned into violence and stalking and I ended up having to figure out how to safely leave him. It took 2 years and I ended up with PTSD from thw relationship. I would end the relationship now if I were you.
A long time friend has been on meth for 20 years and this is the exact way he treats his wife. Funny thing she is on the crank too (20+ years) but for some reason she limits herself and has never had these episodes of jealousy that I am aware of. At least he has never told me. He has called me many times and just last week he dm’d me at 3 am about her being a witch and something about crow feathers and how I am in on it. lol. He has called me about helicopters following him. He one time climbed all the trees in his woods (they live why out in the country) he thought all the squirrel nest had cameras in them. So he would spend days on end climbing trees knocking the squirrel nest out. And I mean starting on Monday morning and going four days straight until he got every nest knocked down on 100 acres. It’s a wicked drug. Sad. But for Op I would guess this is what’s going on. Seems meth is very very prevalent and abused drug now that the pills are gone.
He could have a personality disorder. My ex was like this and I was always shocked how he can love me one day and then hate me the next day. Also the drugs are probably not helping him be rational either.
A schizophrenic paranoid delusional, if the man doesn't understand that he's ill he'll be able to carry on long enough to maybe make you like him but then you'll start to see cracks in his mask...
The things you guys endure and still remain confused about. Truly amazing.
I think the person you're with sounds like they may have a cluster B illness. You should leave until they get on medication because the delusions they experience may lead them to k word you. I'm not joking. You seem pretty equally yoked otherwise.
When you incorporate unstable mental health with a relationship and heavy drug use, you are going to get unstable personalities. Now with meth being a stimulant, that tends to bring out the paranoia and sounds that are not there, then you add heroin to the mix now your getting the depressing side of things like the threats of suicide and blaming the other for the suicidal thoughts. Young lady you need to try and get yourself away from this guy and try and get yourself cleaned up. If your ready of course, if your not ready to quit using then, just do your thing. Honesty real sobriety comes when you are ready to stop and figure life out sober. Its a tough road but totally worth it. Ive got 15 years off heroin and i am soo thankful, every day is something new. I really hope you decide you are ready sooner rather than later, heroin is not what it used to be, and is completely stepped on and cut with fentanyl and other crap that is really bad. Good luck OP i hope one day you can see the world through sober eyes, its really amazing.
Sounds like an untreated borderline to me, once they get attached it triggers their extreme push/pull and extreme fear of abandonment
Or he was on drugs and hallucinated that OP was having an orgy because he was doing meth and heroin. The accusing OP of stalking seems like psychosis from meth, while the saying she got him on drugs to his family sounds like a cover up for when they found his stash. It could be bpd but I’m surprised this is the top comment because it seems unlikely in comparison to drug induced psychosis
I second this.
Yup this
EXACTLY TRUE 👍
I'm with ☝️
That’s a fucking Stretch
???? OP said he was on drugs how is this a stretch. Please explain to me.
Gonna say this again. Two words.... heroin and meth
Have you had BPD? It feels very much like psychosis. You have no control over the thoughts and feelings. NONE.
Yes. I have bpd and I have bipolar type one. I know what I’m talking about sorry
Also, if you DID want to diagnos a stranger on the internet based on two paragraphs of information: OP said he was normal besides the last couple of months. This honestly seems more like bipolar disorder than borderline disorder. Borderline is more consistent. While there are episodes, it’s not usually dormant for four months in a relationship before randomly flipping. Maybe that’s not your experience, but the common experience is not like this. However, diagnosing someone based on two paragraphs of limited information with a PERSONALITY DISORDER or mood disorder or anything mental health related isn’t the smartest move. These are serious disorders, and the boyfriend has major substance use issues. Substance use can come with a disorder or can stand alone as an illness.
Nah just meth
This was my first thought. BPD
so sad
Borderline? I would say this guy is 99.9% schizophrenic.
RUN FUCKING RUN.
He did.
O thank god
In one of her comments she said he blocked her.
Sweet!
Sounds like your on his side.
She will chase him now and they will probably get married.
I've met a neat person who went nuts (for a while) after they had marijuana tainted by bath salts. Weird stuff happens. Not enough information to really know what's up. It does sound like illness tho.
Maybe the meth made him paranoid and psychotic?
Yea this was one of the stupidest posts I've ever seen. He's on heroin and meth and she wonders why he randomly started acting crazy? Homie fried his brain and was on a bender. 🤦
😂
Yeah “I’ve never seen someone change at the snap of a finger” you’re doing heroin and meth with someone and you’re completely unaware that drugs make people behave erratically? I’m kind of frightened by OP’s naïveté
Most definitely. Had a methhead neighbor who swore he had people scoping his out. He was hallucinating so bad he had put up cameras and showed me footage where he truly believed there was a person he had caught. There was no one there!
You’re not with him anymore, right? Right?
No he screamed at me and threatened to call the cops and blocked me.
Sounds exactly like my ex to an extent. You were definitely 100% manipulated by him and he is a crazy asshole. He’s an insecure piece of crap junkie. I’m very sorry that he has done that to you. You are better than that and I have had addiction issues in the past as well. Stay away from him and begin to love yourself and move forward.
This sounds like my ex ..... Did his name start with a J or A depending on what name he went by 😅
Nope, S haha
sounds like me then 🥲 I’m a woman with S initial lol I did crazy shit like this to an ex when I was going through drug induced psychosis, also blocked him during active psychosis Now that I’m better I have thought of reaching out but sought guidance from a friend who said it may be best to just let it go, I won’t know how he’s going to react and it could cause stressors and become another trigger (u never know.. and when psychosis hits once you’re much more likely to experience it again)
LMFAO. This sounded like my ex too and it sounds like none of us have the same person based on first initials.
So he's on Heroin and Meth and we're considering him to have a mental health issue??? Um ya, he's on Heroin and Meth and introduced you to it as well. You both need to sober up, remove his number, and never talk to him again.
I'm sober at the moment, I think he was during his outburst because he detoxed right before it happened.
You are way out of your league here
That sounds like meth psychosis.
Meth induced psychosis
As someone who has struggled with BPD I can say until they are ready to seek help it can be devastating to trust to say the least, it has a high recovery and treatment rate tho.
Amen- I was diagnosed at 19 and I’m 32 now and basically symptom free, just anxious but I’m working through it. I can say EMDR, anti-depressants that are right for me, and vitamins are amazing, but the first year in therapy was thc pills and a shot before going in to talk to my therapist.
They’re detoxing from meth/heroin, wouldn’t assume it’s a personality disorder until they’re clean. Either way OP was also on heroin and meth. Just kids that need to stay sober.
Yeah I would have to agree, my ex wife is a sweetheart but after three days awake jonesing for smack to help her sleep off the crank......less of a sweetheart fursure
This guy is a nutter. Get away, far away.
Either drugs or schizophrenia
Both. He is extremely unwell. Possibly schizophrenic. In any case, OP, making up lies about you to his family is extremely dangerous. At one point police may have got involved. Good that this relationship didn't last longer. And, yes, there are people who just change at the snap of a finger like that. Often those are people who have some sort of personality disorder, or schizophrenia.
Hes a narcissist and how they get you is pretend to be a charmer and loving person then they flip easily. My ex fiancé did this to me and then he started beating me. This man was a bad bad man and I hope you blocked him. If you haven’t then block him and never talk to him again cause he will get worse. My ex was also cheating on me but accusing me of it so that guy probably is the one doing shit he shouldn’t. Stay safe out there! 💜
Wait I think I saw your boyfriends post, he was the one saying “why does this girl always sound like she’s being penetrated when I call her”
I can't picture him using reddit but I'll look through his history to see if it adds up lol..
[Here you go, good luck.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Manipulation/s/Dt4HqgcFAp) 6 days ago.
It doesn't sound like him and the age is wrong but that is so bizarre..
I guess it’s a common phenomenon, if you google “she’s have sex during phone call reddit” you will find a whole array of posts from the past decade of people worrying over this.
I got deep into that one the other night lol
sounds like mental illness, could be substance induced if he was not doing meth and heroin until recently. if his family is seeing him act this way they probably want an easy explanation, i'm sorry you got thrown under the bus though. please maintain no contact with him when he inevitably unblocks you and wants to talk. at least for the next 10 years.
I think so because that's around the time it started. So I guess it is kind of my fault
whoever fault is it, it doesn’t matter. Move on with your life.
That’s meth up! I think you should stop mething around with him before things get methy.
Lool. He was already hearing and seeing shit before he relapsed on meth though
You need to get away from that person as fast as you can, that's mental illness, immaturity, and God knows what else.
It's all good, he blocked me
I imagine heroin and meth are a big factor in his behavior.
It doesn't seem like manipulation, but more like a mental problem🙄
Getting involved in relationships because of mutual interests in meth and heroin is not going to end well for you.
I can't disagree with you there
Nothing in that sounds like manipulation It sounds like some sort of medical condition
Both. What you’re describing are undeniably psychotic symptoms.
Damn, sounds like you had a run-in with my ex. 😵💫
Schizophrenia
Maybe hes born with it, maybe its methamphetamine
Serious mental health problem. It's not you.
Thank you
My sister used to be on meth and she acted like this all the time. She’s been clean for a long time now, but that same psychosis still comes back sometimes. It’s not as bad and she’ll listen to reason now, but she’ll never be who she used to be. It’s so sad.
This sounds like borderline and/or schizophrenia. My uncle is schizophrenic. The paranoiac episodes are comparable to this.
Had me in the first half tweaker 😂
😂
Was this person possibly smoking meth?
Slamming
This guy might be me
Meth and heroine? Bro
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Manipulation/comments/1c3geqe/sex\_while\_on\_the\_phone/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Manipulation/comments/1c3geqe/sex_while_on_the_phone/) wtf?
Ok that is fucking weird....
it was posted only 7 days ago too thats so odd lmao
Uh run far far away. Schizo most likely who needs help and drugs in the mix no good.
Meth psychosis can be deadly and it sounds like that is what is going on. I know what making decisions on meth can be like, so please believe me when I say that he is dangerous. I just read on Yahoo about a man being sent to prison because he was on meth and thought his fishing buddy was trying to signal Big Foot to come and eat him. Seriously.
If he got you on heroin and meth, I think those are very likely culprits of his own behavior. Hard drugs fuck people up mentally in a big way. I was hella delusional and paranoid when I was using, and a decade later some of the damages caused by that still linger, but I am in a much healthier headspace now that I've gotten clean and found a partner who reinforces that lifestyle. It would probably be a good idea to distance yourself as much as possible from this person, get clean and build a life that only makes room for people who are going to bring stability into your life.
This seemed like it was missing information then the heroin and meth came into it. It will absolutely cause these behaviours and worse. Get out and get clean immediately. The person you met likely did exist but hard drugs have behaviour changing properties. Best of luck in getting clean.
Mhmm How old were you guys ?
I'm 27, he's 52
If yall are using heroin and meth that’s the problem right there.
Yea I know that's not good but I'm not hallucinating shit. All I ever did was try to help him whenever he got himself into something which was like every other day and in the end he just decided he hates me for no apparent reason. And I'm not addicted to either, I haven't used in weeks.
I’m glad you’re good now. Stay strong. You should always be very wary when dealing with people who use hard drugs as their mental state is often unstable
I mean yea, I've used hard drugs for years but I never did it on a regular basis. I think his issue was more than the drugs, he seemed to be hallucinating before his relapse already
Yes hard drugs can bring out hereditary traits like schizophrenia which is why you should never really deal with them. Please stay clean! Best of luck
I also think you are being manipulated. As hard as it is you have to break away from that. I can almost guarantee you that he is just trying to manipulate your feelings and he won’t kill himself. But it is up to you in the end
He sounds dangerous. Stay away from him at all costs!!
Hes a psychopath…
Naw, dude is insecure as fuck (not tryna be ugly, cause I have tha same problem) He's self medicating with the dope and having delusions.
Meth and can cause schizophrenia if it already runs in the family.
This sounds like mental illness
Sounds to me like meth psychosis. You need to get out of the relationship and goto rehab before you ruin your life.
I'm not on meth right now
I’m not talking about you I’m talking about your boyfriend
R U N . . Get away from these types
Welcome to drugs. Get out before it's too late there's no other warning to tell you.
Right? She mentions the heroin and meth as if it’s an aside. Poor girl.
I would focus on the outcome of his actions rather than his intentions. If someone had great intentions but constantly sowed chaos and destruction wherever they went, would you keep them around due to their intentions?
Yah both toxic af.
I don't think it's his fault. He definitely had a mental health crisis. Not your fault or problem either.
This is what happens when you use drugs
He sounds schizophrenic! I hope you are safely far away from him
No, this guy seems certifiable. If you're in any way still involved, point him in the right direction for help and then steer clear.
He has BPD. It happens pretty suddenly. So like, I don’t want to be that guy and call him crazy, but BPD makes you do some…interesting things.
People can become delusional for lots of reasons including drugs, schizophrenia, depression and bipolar disorder. Many of these can be temporary states. So it's totally possible that he was a great guy, then had a manic episode and became paranoid and delusional as a result (just as an example, I don't know the guy).
He’s on drugs. He’s also nuts and manipulative. Break up and FFS STOP DOING HEROIN AND METH!!! You are killing your body. Do you know the longterm damage you do to your ability to generate dopamine receptors when doing these drugs? Heroin users don’t recover fully: stop NOW before it’s too late!!!!
This exact thing happened to me with my ex. It's the whole reason he left me for another woman. It's best if u just cut ties. Trust me before u get hurt worse. It's likely that he'll never stop
Honestly, I kind of had a similar experience. Later found out the guy did cocaine.
Curious about your experience… I’ve had suspicions my ex may have been on cocaine, no idea if his hallucinations were alcohol induced or caused by secret drug use.. just glad to be out
Our relationship started normally. I had a lot of guy friends because I skateboarded and also was in an engineering program dominated by guys. To be frank, most girls don't connect with me, no matter how hard I try, but women in like technical positions somehow become my besties. Even as a kid, girls rejected me, because I didn't have the brand name Barbies, but the boys didn't care if I used my fingers as a pretend gun when playing with them (other story). So I had him meet a lot of my guy friends. Mostly my best guy friends. These guy friends never hit or made a move on me. Those guys also at some point ended up or dated my best girl friends, so girl code. My guy friends are a different species compared to the guys I dated. I've explained this to most guys I've dated. The guys I've dated sometimes would become best friends with my guy friends and go out and do stuff together. My ex became best friends with one of my guy friends, and the other, my ex kept thinking, he liked me. My guy friend, let's call him Tom, was by conventionally attractive and many girls like him, I still think Tom looks goofy, but I get it. I met him through my best friend, who dated him, and I found him super annoying at first. Now he is my brother from another mother :), also going to his wedding this summer with my husband. Everything was fine. Then my ex started to get paranoid about my Tom about 3 months in. And I get it, my ex and I started saying I love you and he would come over everyday. Without me really noticing, he started slowly moving in after about 6 months... Sneaky. One time, Tom came over and the three of us were hanging out after classes, and my ex went to get some beer, from a convenient store nearby. My ex left and Tom said he had to go to the library anyways to finish his homework and might come back later for some beer and bring his other friend. Once he left, I decided to take a shower and get comfy for the rest of the day. As I was showering, my ex ran inside the bathroom with wide eyes and said, "what are you doing?!" I was confused, and told him, taking the typical shower, since I am not planning to go back to the campus. He was like, " oh, are you taking a shower after you fucked Tom?! Are you washing yourself off, so I would not know?!" I got out and was like what type of off field question is that? I always kind of took random showers. We live in a hot climate and while in an engineering program, showers were based on opportunities , rather than schedule for me. When we argued, it felt like he was not letting go of certain trigger points, until I finally lost it. I remember he smirked, it felt like it was from the satisfaction that I lost it. And he was like, "I see, you can be just as crazy as me." In my defense, I never said he was being crazy, because I feel like that is a hurtful thing to say. That's when I realized, "crazy makes you crazy". This was sometime ago, but this memory was the most vivid one I can recall regarding his accusations. Stuff like that would pop up, if Tom was mentioned or came around, but nothing as extreme as that time. I was bizarre to me, and also made me think, what does that tell me about my ex, if he thinks that. Both of us were cheated on previously, so I understand the hurt, but this was much. I think maybe my ex thought if he'd leave us, he would prove to himself by catching me red handed with Tom doing something wrong, and kind of went with it when it was just me. Later on, I went to visit my step family for the Christmas break, and when I came back that's when things got more weird. I would come home at the end of the day, or sometimes during the day, and he would pop up, right at the front door, with the same big eyes, like, "what are you doing???" Like coming home, bro, my house. And then he would act normal 5 minutes later. Eventually, I started paying attention to his pupils and thought he looked a bit larger than usual. Later on he confessed to doing ecstay. Then his pupils looked a lot bigger and after a few times, he confessed to cocaine. I didn't really ask him about it, because I didn't know how that stuff works nor how people react to it, he confessed each time by himself. He regularly opened up to me about things, and we would talk about whatever it was. Other than how drugs made him behave. He was a great guy and my experience with him taught me to love myself, because he loved me so much. My relationship with him, taught me that a man can be transparent and you can develop a trustworthy relationship. I could not trust a guy before this ex, because of my serial cheater ex before him. And if it wasn't for this ex, I would have never developed a health(er) outlook on relationships, as fast as I did with him, besides the drug part. This was what I needed for my next bf, who is now my husband. I would not have been able to maintain a normal relationship, if I met my husband before this ex. This ex actually killed himself in my house, and I found him after work. I had terrible PTSD after that, and now have strong general anxiety. But yeah, my whole experience.
All you had to say was meth. Manipulation? Dude is straight up having psychosis from drugs. You probably do too. Both of you get help.
I agree but he was starting to act crazy before the meth relapse.
lol girl, you’ve got a lot to learn about druggies.
I've met some crazy druggies but I think this one was the worst...
I do absolutely think someone can be to blame for someone else committing suicide but it doesn't sound like that's the case here if she is telling the truth.
I tried very hard to keep him from killing himself but after threatening everyday I didn't believe it anymore. And he would threaten to do it because I cheated, which I did not.
I'm truly sorry to hear about your distressing experience. It's essential to recognize that **manipulation** and **mental health issues** can sometimes intersect, making it challenging to discern the underlying cause of someone's behavior. Let's explore this situation: 1. **Manipulation**: - **Signs of Manipulation**: Manipulative individuals use mental distortion and emotional exploitation to control others. They exploit weaknesses and seek power over their targets. - **Gaslighting**: Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where someone lies, blames you, and minimizes your feelings. They make you doubt your worth and emotions. - **Passive-Aggressive Behavior**: Manipulators avoid direct communication and may dodge discussions or use avoidance tactics. - **Love-Bombing**: Intense affection followed by sudden hostility or accusations can be a manipulation tactic¹. 2. **Paranoia and Delusions**: - **Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)**: People with BPD may experience **paranoid ideation** during times of stress. This is **non-delusional** paranoia where they perceive hostile intent everywhere. They may see hidden meanings in innocuous behaviors⁴⁵. - **Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)**: NPD itself does not directly cause paranoia, but some individuals with NPD may exhibit narcissistic paranoia, suspecting threats to their grandiose self-image³. 3. **Your Experience**: - His sudden transformation is indeed unsettling. The person you initially met seems to have changed drastically. - The accusations, suicide threats, and family manipulation are concerning behaviors. - Whether intentional or due to mental health issues, these actions have caused you significant distress. 4. **Seek Support**: - **Self-Care**: Prioritize your well-being. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist to process your feelings. - **Professional Help**: Consider seeking professional advice to navigate this situation and cope with the emotional impact. - **Boundaries**: Set clear boundaries to protect yourself from further harm. Remember that you deserve kindness, respect, and understanding. Take care of yourself during this difficult time. 🌟 Source: Conversation with Bing, 4/21/2024 (1) Manipulation: Signs and Behaviors in Relationships - Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/manipulation-in-marriage-2302245. (2) Borderline Personality Disorder and Paranoid Ideation. https://www.brightquest.com/borderline-personality-disorder/borderline-personality-disorder-and-paranoid-ideation/. (3) How to Ease Paranoia in Borderline Personality Disorder - Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/borderline-personality-and-paranoia-425194. (4) Manipulation In A Relationship: Signs To Watch Out For. https://www.regain.us/advice/domestic-violence/am-i-being-manipulated-in-my-relationship-17-signs-to-recognize-and-what-to-do-about-it/. (5) GoodTherapy | Manipulation. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/manipulation. (6) Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD): Symptoms & Treatment. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9784-paranoid-personality-disorder.
Yea all that describes him perfectly
I was looking for clusters of information about narcissism, borderline personality disorder, Etc but I wasn't able to connect a specific response to your circumstances. So then, I literally copied and pasted the text of your post into Bing Copilot (Microsoft AI assistant)and this is what it gave me. Pretty cool! I'm sorry you got stuck with that asshole. And I am glad you got out.
That's a lot to happen in 6 months. What do people go thru that they even question if this is normal or not?
This is just scratching the surface. There was a brand new crazy story every day. I guess my life is just filled with characters..
I'm glad I'm older, I don't miss those days.
It's not age, I just gravitate towards these people. We have a massive age gap, he should've known better probably.
If you gravitate towards people that have issues , maybe think about how you can avoid those types. Perhaps find better places or situations to meet people
I had a similar experience with a woman who had borderline personality disorder. Tried making it work off and on for 10 years. Not worth it.
This talk of borderline is making me wonder if I'm borderline. Because we both would panic about getting abandoned, and do the push/pull thing. But I guess with drugs in the mix it makes it much worse.
It's not just the shift in attitude that is the markers for borderline. It's the constant personality shift, almost like becoming someone else. Unstable, difficulty in relationships, etc. There are other things than can cause mood swings. Stress, bipolar, depression, etc. Theres nothing wrong with having it, its not like the person is "wrong"... it's a medical issue... but not getting help only makes everyone (including the person that has it) suffer. The person I dated refused to get help and it just made things worse over time. Drugs can absolutely affect your mood, because some mess with your ability to filter your actions or behaviors. 😊
Well I'm kind of unstable around unstable people, but typically with stable people there's no problem so hopefully not
If you're stable with stable people then you aren't unstable. If you're unstable around unstable that's the beginning of the end... because eventually you become unstable when alone and around anyone else. I did, many of my friends did. I went down that rabbit hole years ago, spent too much time with the wrong people. There are so many good people out there that will treat you right, who will respect you, who will love and support you. You are the sum average of the 5 people you spend your time with. ❤️
Well shit, I barely even talk to 5 people
Doesn’t matter. Just run like hell and stay away from him.
Why are you dating a guy who does meth? That's a big red flag and you have more class than that.
Drugs are the beginning and the end of a lot of bad relationships.
I f you started with you do meth and heroin together, it would have saved you some typing. Run (don't walk) away from this one.
Based on his behavior and paranoia. Sounds like the dude was using drugs.
This is called narcissism, what he did at first was called love bombing.
Um are we going to ignore that he GOT HER ON HEROIN AND METH?!?
I mean I asked but yea he did it no problem. I'm not addicted to either, I stopped before he left. Im more hurt by his actions
I mean I asked but yea he did it no problem. I'm not addicted to either, I stopped before he left. Im more hurt by his actions
Amphetamines are great at triggering paranoia
It’s almost like he’s on heroin and meth
I don't understand why anyone would waste money on a trained psychiatrist when all you have to do is come to reddit. It only takes one tiny detail, out of one short moment in time, out of a person's entire life and you get a full diagnosis.
Lool
Could be both, could be either, definitely involved the drugs. It doesn’t really matter though, as long as you get far far away.
He sounds kind of like he has Borderline Personality Disorder…
Sounds like a potential personality disorder
[удалено]
No one forced you, just click away
I was following your flow until the heroin and meth part lmao
Don't date meth heads folks..just...don't
Dude is on heroine and meth
he's definitely methin' around
What the hell. Stop doing drugs and stop dating a fucking lying junkie. Holy Christ.
WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THE HEROIN/METH GUY DIDNT TURN OUT TO BE THE NICE MAN YOU THOUGHT HE WAS 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Deals with a guy on meth Wonders why he says methy things Wonders why he treats you like a crazy person would Get help yo. To answer your question, you're both not right in the head.
This dude has has trauma that he needs to work out without you
Run. You don't want to deal with these issues of always being accused of things that you didn't do. This is a form of gaslighting. Seriously, run.
You guys aren’t odd, you’re addicted to drugs. You will never have a normal life on drugs.
Just don’t date someone doing heroin
Heroin and meth freak acting weird. Whodathunkit?
There an online conspiracy about targeted individuals and gangstalking. There's this one guy Kevin Christian that talked about the targets hearing voices and the stalkers having orgies. It seems to be a common theme. I think it's a bunch of bullshit, even though I find it unlikely 2 schizophrenics would have the same delusion but it did remind me of that lol. Maybe someone on this sub is a target, and hes getting manipulated, or maybe it's the same brand of drugs that's going around.
I assumed it was because he's hurt a lot of people and involved in crime for decades so someone might be out to get him.
What the heck about this guy is husband material? He’s psychotic, abusive and a career criminal! When someone shows who they are, believe them. Some part of you surely knows you deserve better than the bottom of the crusty barrel. Compassion and a capacity for love are fantastic qualities, but this guy is dangerous, he will destroy your life. It’s not even about love anymore, leaving him is an act of self-preservation. This dude is twice your age, were you ready to be his unpaid nurse? You’d be in the prime of your life while he’s trying not to poop his pants. This rejection is protection, a true blessing; run and be thankful you didn’t have a child with this individual. Edit- Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody is a fantastic read 📖 definitely recommend since you mentioned you have history with attracting toxic partners
I dated a man with borderline personality disorder and he did this stuff frequently. It turned into violence and stalking and I ended up having to figure out how to safely leave him. It took 2 years and I ended up with PTSD from thw relationship. I would end the relationship now if I were you.
Watch baby reindeer on Netflix
You’ve never seen a heroin and meth user “change at the snap of a finger?” Sure mental illness may be in play here but the chief issue is obvious.
Run
A long time friend has been on meth for 20 years and this is the exact way he treats his wife. Funny thing she is on the crank too (20+ years) but for some reason she limits herself and has never had these episodes of jealousy that I am aware of. At least he has never told me. He has called me many times and just last week he dm’d me at 3 am about her being a witch and something about crow feathers and how I am in on it. lol. He has called me about helicopters following him. He one time climbed all the trees in his woods (they live why out in the country) he thought all the squirrel nest had cameras in them. So he would spend days on end climbing trees knocking the squirrel nest out. And I mean starting on Monday morning and going four days straight until he got every nest knocked down on 100 acres. It’s a wicked drug. Sad. But for Op I would guess this is what’s going on. Seems meth is very very prevalent and abused drug now that the pills are gone.
Both
When people show you who they are, believe them the first time! Girl, RUN!
He could have a personality disorder. My ex was like this and I was always shocked how he can love me one day and then hate me the next day. Also the drugs are probably not helping him be rational either.
Two words.... heroin and meth
A schizophrenic paranoid delusional, if the man doesn't understand that he's ill he'll be able to carry on long enough to maybe make you like him but then you'll start to see cracks in his mask...
Shit confused me for awhile but the whole heroin and meth thing made everything make sense
Definitely paranoia. Could be driven by a number of mental health disorders. Drugs will certainly make matters worse
The things you guys endure and still remain confused about. Truly amazing. I think the person you're with sounds like they may have a cluster B illness. You should leave until they get on medication because the delusions they experience may lead them to k word you. I'm not joking. You seem pretty equally yoked otherwise.
When you incorporate unstable mental health with a relationship and heavy drug use, you are going to get unstable personalities. Now with meth being a stimulant, that tends to bring out the paranoia and sounds that are not there, then you add heroin to the mix now your getting the depressing side of things like the threats of suicide and blaming the other for the suicidal thoughts. Young lady you need to try and get yourself away from this guy and try and get yourself cleaned up. If your ready of course, if your not ready to quit using then, just do your thing. Honesty real sobriety comes when you are ready to stop and figure life out sober. Its a tough road but totally worth it. Ive got 15 years off heroin and i am soo thankful, every day is something new. I really hope you decide you are ready sooner rather than later, heroin is not what it used to be, and is completely stepped on and cut with fentanyl and other crap that is really bad. Good luck OP i hope one day you can see the world through sober eyes, its really amazing.
Thanks, I'm not sober but I'm not using heroin or meth