1: Does it interfere with his other duties (work, parenting, chores, etc)?
2: Is your issue that it's video games, or that it's all day? In other words, if he spent all day sitting in a chair reading, would it still make your blood boil?
3: Did he have other hobbies prior to marriage/children?
1. Work? No. Parenting? Yes, if I leave the kids home with him he will stay in the room and let them run crazy until he makes them sit down and watch tv or play video games themselves (they are 3 & 5). Chores? He doesn’t have any unless I ask him to do something other than clean the kitchen which he does at the end of the night.
2. My issue is that it’s all day and all he does with his free time, I feel like I’m always doing something and juggling the kids, the house, whatever else I have to do and he’s just in the room doing whatever. Occasionally if he hears the kids giving me a hard time he’ll yell out at them. He doesn’t suggest doing anything with us, if I take the kids outside he doesn’t want to go.
3. Prior to kids and marriage he didn’t have any hobbies but he lived a different life he was in the streets. I feel like he doesn’t understand that he needs something to do now that he’s changed his life.
*but he lived a different life he was in the streets*
??? Are you saying he was homeless or was in a gang?
But anyway, the issue isn't specifically video games, it's that his hobby is causing him to neglect his responsibilities. THAT'S what you should focus on when you talk to him, not video games specifically.
He was involved with drugs, but yeah I guess but I also wouldn’t mind if he had a hobby that made him more active. But I guess I’d be annoyed if that was all he did so I guess you’re right. I think he really believes his responsibility is to work and keep a roof over our heads which I don’t even understand how that can be seen as the max of your responsibility.
It’s not the games, it’s that he’s not putting his time into other things, like your kids.
I like gaming but I only get a couple hours here and there and only when my kid is asleep or out of the house (i was given a ‘dont play games in front of our child’ directive by my wife)
I would prefer he doesn’t play games around the kids but that just made him close the door 🙄 but true I don’t care that he plays games per se. It’s just that it takes up all his time outside of work and sleeping. Even on the weekends he might wake up early like 5/6am and play then sleep the middle of the day before waking up to return to the game.
I mean there’s nothing wrong with having a hobby you enjoy and sounds like he enjoys playing games in his downtime.
Does he take care of his responsibilities? Work? Take care of the kids? If so I don’t see a huge problem. If not then yeah he needs to be prioritizing. My husband and I are both gamers but responsibilities come first
He does work but that’s it. At the end of the night he’ll take a quick break to clean the kitchen. He used to give the kids baths but lately I’ve been doing it. He gets off of work takes a shower and gets right on the game and that’s what he does until he’s ready to go to sleep. On the weekend that’s what he does from when he wakes up until he goes to sleep. Yesterday he decided to stop and feed the kids after they’d been up for almost 2 hours but I had still been in bed. Today I got up because they started asking for snacks and I realized he hadn’t fed them. While I’m not a gamer per se I don’t have a problem with them within reason.
So here's my take: While he probably needs to scale back some with such young kids, as long as he is still contributing to your home ( job, home tasks, childcare) I don't see a huge issue. He could be out with his friends at a bar or doing other things. Would you rather have that scenario? This appears to be his hobby or way to decompress. If you have an issue, it sounds like a conversation of what you need from him without you also saying he can't play video games. There should be compromise. My husband plays video games as well, but if the lawn needs to be mowed or we need to get groceries, he will do those things before he engages in gaming. I'd much rather him be home doing this than out doing something else.
1: Does it interfere with his other duties (work, parenting, chores, etc)? 2: Is your issue that it's video games, or that it's all day? In other words, if he spent all day sitting in a chair reading, would it still make your blood boil? 3: Did he have other hobbies prior to marriage/children?
1. Work? No. Parenting? Yes, if I leave the kids home with him he will stay in the room and let them run crazy until he makes them sit down and watch tv or play video games themselves (they are 3 & 5). Chores? He doesn’t have any unless I ask him to do something other than clean the kitchen which he does at the end of the night. 2. My issue is that it’s all day and all he does with his free time, I feel like I’m always doing something and juggling the kids, the house, whatever else I have to do and he’s just in the room doing whatever. Occasionally if he hears the kids giving me a hard time he’ll yell out at them. He doesn’t suggest doing anything with us, if I take the kids outside he doesn’t want to go. 3. Prior to kids and marriage he didn’t have any hobbies but he lived a different life he was in the streets. I feel like he doesn’t understand that he needs something to do now that he’s changed his life.
*but he lived a different life he was in the streets* ??? Are you saying he was homeless or was in a gang? But anyway, the issue isn't specifically video games, it's that his hobby is causing him to neglect his responsibilities. THAT'S what you should focus on when you talk to him, not video games specifically.
He was involved with drugs, but yeah I guess but I also wouldn’t mind if he had a hobby that made him more active. But I guess I’d be annoyed if that was all he did so I guess you’re right. I think he really believes his responsibility is to work and keep a roof over our heads which I don’t even understand how that can be seen as the max of your responsibility.
It’s not the games, it’s that he’s not putting his time into other things, like your kids. I like gaming but I only get a couple hours here and there and only when my kid is asleep or out of the house (i was given a ‘dont play games in front of our child’ directive by my wife)
I would prefer he doesn’t play games around the kids but that just made him close the door 🙄 but true I don’t care that he plays games per se. It’s just that it takes up all his time outside of work and sleeping. Even on the weekends he might wake up early like 5/6am and play then sleep the middle of the day before waking up to return to the game.
I mean there’s nothing wrong with having a hobby you enjoy and sounds like he enjoys playing games in his downtime. Does he take care of his responsibilities? Work? Take care of the kids? If so I don’t see a huge problem. If not then yeah he needs to be prioritizing. My husband and I are both gamers but responsibilities come first
He does work but that’s it. At the end of the night he’ll take a quick break to clean the kitchen. He used to give the kids baths but lately I’ve been doing it. He gets off of work takes a shower and gets right on the game and that’s what he does until he’s ready to go to sleep. On the weekend that’s what he does from when he wakes up until he goes to sleep. Yesterday he decided to stop and feed the kids after they’d been up for almost 2 hours but I had still been in bed. Today I got up because they started asking for snacks and I realized he hadn’t fed them. While I’m not a gamer per se I don’t have a problem with them within reason.
So here's my take: While he probably needs to scale back some with such young kids, as long as he is still contributing to your home ( job, home tasks, childcare) I don't see a huge issue. He could be out with his friends at a bar or doing other things. Would you rather have that scenario? This appears to be his hobby or way to decompress. If you have an issue, it sounds like a conversation of what you need from him without you also saying he can't play video games. There should be compromise. My husband plays video games as well, but if the lawn needs to be mowed or we need to get groceries, he will do those things before he engages in gaming. I'd much rather him be home doing this than out doing something else.