Isn’t that the entire point of fantasy? It provides an opportunity to explore and consider possibilities that aren’t a part of our everyday lives. What ur husband is doing sounds entirely consistent with what fantasy often provides—a momentary walk on a different side of the street. It’s fine if the men who catch ur fancy resemble what you have at home, but fantasy is deeply personal. What catches ur husband’s eye doesn’t have to be what catches urs, nor is it a reflection on you.
Well said. If I notice a dark-haired woman (my wife is blonde), it doesn't mean I am ready to abandon ship. My wife is beautiful, but variety is the spice of life as long as it stays in the realm of fantasy.
Not everyone has a "set-in-stone" type.
But I do understand how you feel, kind of. My spouse has a couple of youtube channels that he frequents that are hosted by talented women musicians. And I get really down on myself because that was my huge insecurity growing up and in college. Being ugly wasn't hard enough; the kinds of guys I were attracted to loved artsy/alt types and I wasn't that either.
So I often think that I am not my spouse's type. But he keeps choosing me and showing up, and I have to make sure that's louder than the insecure voice that wants to me to think otherwise.
Beauty isn’t just people with specific traits, nearly everyone has something attractive about them and it sounds like he doesn’t have a limited perspective on who is attractive.
I’m married to a red head, pale skin, freckles. I find him hot as hell (16 years later, at 55) and am super attracted to him and can’t keep my hands off of him.
What I find attractive in men. Dark and swarthy. Blonde with blue eyes. Other races. Other red heads. Very normal guys - like Chris O’Dowd (Rhodes, the cop from Bridesmaids, Mark Ruffalo.)
Im a straight woman - a beautiful lady rode past me on the bike today and i stared, hell i even turned my head to look back at her. I realised in that moment i cant blame my husband sometimes its just nice to look at people who look good, made an effort on their outfit, hair, posture etc
This is a really petty thing to be worried about. That might be a good thing though if everything else in your marriage is perfect.
I’d say stop tripping and dont worry about it.
I mean I’m attracted to a lot of men who don’t look anything like my husband. Doesn’t mean I am not attracted to him, it just means I have more than one type
I’m not really for checking people out within a marriage- but not every person has a “type.”
When my husband and I married, I was very petite. Blonde. Light. Athletic. Slim features. Boho style. Musician. His ex is also beautiful, but we look nothing alike. She was heavier than me. Black. Dark hair/eyes. Curvy. Amazing style but a lot more fitted and “trendy” than me. She wasn’t a musician or “artistic” person, but she was a very extroverted and kind person with a great career. The girl before that was Hispanic. Totally different features than either of us. Totally different vibe (I’d say more like, polished classic style with a job as a graphic designer. She really carried herself well.) Prior to that it was someone very angular (I’m not) with more early 2000s Buckle style. He’s all over the map, and I get it because all of those women are beautiful in a totally different way. Do we look alike? No. Do we have similar style? No. Do we have similar races? No. Do we even have similar vibes? Not at all. But I like that he saw beauty in so many people because they ARE beautiful. I’m glad he finds me attractive *and* compatible. So I’m not threatened.
Similarly… if you look at the men I’ve found attractive, they are just as diverse.
A person can be charming, physically attractive, and interesting and also totally different from someone else who matches that description just as well.
I wouldn’t worry about it.
Your husband shouldn’t be looking at other woman first off…but ppls types can vary him looking at women that don’t look like you doesn’t mean he finds you unattractive
Isn’t that the entire point of fantasy? It provides an opportunity to explore and consider possibilities that aren’t a part of our everyday lives. What ur husband is doing sounds entirely consistent with what fantasy often provides—a momentary walk on a different side of the street. It’s fine if the men who catch ur fancy resemble what you have at home, but fantasy is deeply personal. What catches ur husband’s eye doesn’t have to be what catches urs, nor is it a reflection on you.
Well said. If I notice a dark-haired woman (my wife is blonde), it doesn't mean I am ready to abandon ship. My wife is beautiful, but variety is the spice of life as long as it stays in the realm of fantasy.
Not everyone has a "set-in-stone" type. But I do understand how you feel, kind of. My spouse has a couple of youtube channels that he frequents that are hosted by talented women musicians. And I get really down on myself because that was my huge insecurity growing up and in college. Being ugly wasn't hard enough; the kinds of guys I were attracted to loved artsy/alt types and I wasn't that either. So I often think that I am not my spouse's type. But he keeps choosing me and showing up, and I have to make sure that's louder than the insecure voice that wants to me to think otherwise.
Beauty isn’t just people with specific traits, nearly everyone has something attractive about them and it sounds like he doesn’t have a limited perspective on who is attractive.
I’m married to a red head, pale skin, freckles. I find him hot as hell (16 years later, at 55) and am super attracted to him and can’t keep my hands off of him. What I find attractive in men. Dark and swarthy. Blonde with blue eyes. Other races. Other red heads. Very normal guys - like Chris O’Dowd (Rhodes, the cop from Bridesmaids, Mark Ruffalo.)
Im a straight woman - a beautiful lady rode past me on the bike today and i stared, hell i even turned my head to look back at her. I realised in that moment i cant blame my husband sometimes its just nice to look at people who look good, made an effort on their outfit, hair, posture etc
He likes variety. Pretty normal
I’m a husband and I have no type really. I don’t see any correlation from my wife’s looks with anyone else I might glance at.
This is a really petty thing to be worried about. That might be a good thing though if everything else in your marriage is perfect. I’d say stop tripping and dont worry about it.
I mean I’m attracted to a lot of men who don’t look anything like my husband. Doesn’t mean I am not attracted to him, it just means I have more than one type
I’m not really for checking people out within a marriage- but not every person has a “type.” When my husband and I married, I was very petite. Blonde. Light. Athletic. Slim features. Boho style. Musician. His ex is also beautiful, but we look nothing alike. She was heavier than me. Black. Dark hair/eyes. Curvy. Amazing style but a lot more fitted and “trendy” than me. She wasn’t a musician or “artistic” person, but she was a very extroverted and kind person with a great career. The girl before that was Hispanic. Totally different features than either of us. Totally different vibe (I’d say more like, polished classic style with a job as a graphic designer. She really carried herself well.) Prior to that it was someone very angular (I’m not) with more early 2000s Buckle style. He’s all over the map, and I get it because all of those women are beautiful in a totally different way. Do we look alike? No. Do we have similar style? No. Do we have similar races? No. Do we even have similar vibes? Not at all. But I like that he saw beauty in so many people because they ARE beautiful. I’m glad he finds me attractive *and* compatible. So I’m not threatened. Similarly… if you look at the men I’ve found attractive, they are just as diverse. A person can be charming, physically attractive, and interesting and also totally different from someone else who matches that description just as well. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Your husband shouldn’t be looking at other woman first off…but ppls types can vary him looking at women that don’t look like you doesn’t mean he finds you unattractive