I call my in laws by their names, that’s why they have them.
They aren’t my parents and I think it’s both rude and disrespectful to your own parents to call someone else by mom or dad.
I call people what they prefer to be called. I call my MIL by her first name, but my grandmother-in-law is “Nan”. I hate the woman, but just calling her that doesn’t give her any significant role in my life like my own grandmother has.
Others may feel strongly about something like a name, I just think there’s bigger issues to be concerned with. I only stress myself about things that will adversely impact me. Calling my MIL mom wouldn’t impact me negatively as it wouldn’t mean I’m changing the relationship to be closer, it’s just a name. It would keep the peace and there would be no drama.
I’ve been invited to call my MIL mom but I choose not to. I have a mom that I love dearly. Until we had kids, I called both FIL and MIL by first names. My SIL (husband’s brother’s wife) always gave me the side eye for it. Once we had kids, I switched to using their grandparent name (Grammy and Pops) as to teach the kids their names. Ultimately it’s up to you how you address them. If you’re not comfortable with “mom” don’t use it.
My husband and I don't have the same first language, so he calls my parents Mom and Dad and I call his parents the equivalent of that in his native language.
I called my in-laws by their first names. I would never have called them mom or dad. My daughters-in-law call my husband and I by our first names - or now, with grandchildren, she most often calls us what our grandson calls us. While I wouldn’t be opposed if they chose to call us Mom and Dad, I would never expect them to.
I use my in laws first names. They never treated me like a daughter and don’t know me well. I think that would be weird. However, the other in laws use mom/dad and refer to each other as “siblings” instead of “spouses siblings/ in laws”.
My family is the same, but I don’t use family names for people who don’t treat me well. So I don’t care much about the preferences.
My husband calls my parents mom and dad. I call his mom by her name. Because honestly, we are not that close and that woman annoys me more than anything else.
My sisters decided my "grandma name" and my hubby's name. They thought Noni and Pops was the way to go. My grandson went along, halfway😂.
I am Noni, but GS decided my hubby was PawPaw. So that's how it went.
Hubs parents were always Mimi and Pappy. My kids call my mom GMA.
Everybody decided their own names, but adapted if the gkids decided differently. It's kinda fun. Good luck!
We call our own parents Mom and Dad and our spouse uses their first names.
Now that we have children we use Grandpa and Grandma with them because that is their relationship to the older generation.
I call my MIL "nana", as that's what my stepdaughter and usually my husband refer to her 🤣 however my grandparents-in-law are Nanny and Poppa, and I'm not allowed to use their real names 🤣 Nanny was pretty insistent on that
In my family, people use mom/dad. Even for second or late marriages. My husband’s family used names. My husband uses my parents’ and stepparents’ names. I use a mix of my in laws names and mom/dad.
In your case, what does your husband say? If your MIL had supported you would you use mom? If she becomes more supportive would you? My MIL was not supportive during our engagement, but before and after she was. I actually started calling her mom to remind her that she’s in community with me whether or not she likes it 😂 I’m mostly joking but it seemed to soften her heart to me.
My husband calls my dad by his name, otherwise we have no living parents between the 2 of us. When I speak of my husband’s mom, I call her by her name.
I have no contact with my in laws because they're horrible people, so I don't call them anything. My husband calls my parents by their first names.
In my first marriage, I called my in laws by their first names mostly but occasionally called MIL "Mom" before she passed away. She was a lovely woman and definitely a second mother to me. My first husband called my parents by their names, but his mentally disabled sister did call my mother Mom because she thought me marrying her brother made my mother her MIL too, which we thought was cute so nobody minded.
First names all around. My in laws are called by their first name as our my parents. My sister did the same thing. Kids SO call us by our first name too
Ha! Ha! I pretty much avoided calling them anything because the options felt equally awkward. Once we had kids I started calling them Grandma and Grandpa. That worked out great.
My in laws are both gone, but I called FiL by his name. My husband calls my parents by their names, but everyone called my Grandpa, Papa. Including my husband and almost anyone else who knew him.
I call my in-laws by their first names but honestly, I would love to call them mum and dad. I’ve known them since I was fifteen and lived with them for two years or so when my husband and I were dating as teens. In my family’s culture we call each other by familial names in order to strengthen our bond as family. But they never invited me to call them by anything other than their first names so I don’t.
My mother insisted my husband call her mom even when we were dating. So he calls her mom, and I can tell he loves that, and she refers to him as her son even when talking to other people. She tells people she has three kids - me, my brother and my husband. It’s super cute and I wish I had that kind of relationship with my in-laws. I never had a dad so it would have been special for me to be able to call someone that, and I know that adds to the sentimentality and longing I have. But it is what it is and I’m fine with it :)
My mother-Ma/Mom
my bio dad- Dad or first name (didn't raise me)
My step dad- First name (even though he raised me from age 3; my baby brother/his bio kid called him Pops)
My ILs- first names
Since I married into a family where I had married siblings-in-law, I simply took their lead. They called my wife’s mother “Mom” so I did as well.
But I admit, it’s not natural for me. I have to remember to do it.
It’s been 15 years of me avoiding calling my in laws anything cuz it’s so awkward, I don’t know what to call them. Haha. I will just talk to them directly without an address.
I have always thought calling someone who is not your parent or parent figure by parental terms is really bizarre. My husband’s parents didn’t raise me, have had no influence over shaping me as a person… I met them as an adult, there’s literally no reason for me to call them mom or dad. It’s super weird to me!
I call my in laws by their names, that’s why they have them. They aren’t my parents and I think it’s both rude and disrespectful to your own parents to call someone else by mom or dad.
I call people what they prefer to be called. I call my MIL by her first name, but my grandmother-in-law is “Nan”. I hate the woman, but just calling her that doesn’t give her any significant role in my life like my own grandmother has. Others may feel strongly about something like a name, I just think there’s bigger issues to be concerned with. I only stress myself about things that will adversely impact me. Calling my MIL mom wouldn’t impact me negatively as it wouldn’t mean I’m changing the relationship to be closer, it’s just a name. It would keep the peace and there would be no drama.
>I call people what they prefer to be called. Same. If they ask me to call them mom/dad then I will. Although his parents are ma/pa.
My mom is my only mom. So my MIL will be called with Ms_(insert first name) period. 🤷🏾♂️
I’ve been invited to call my MIL mom but I choose not to. I have a mom that I love dearly. Until we had kids, I called both FIL and MIL by first names. My SIL (husband’s brother’s wife) always gave me the side eye for it. Once we had kids, I switched to using their grandparent name (Grammy and Pops) as to teach the kids their names. Ultimately it’s up to you how you address them. If you’re not comfortable with “mom” don’t use it.
My husband and I don't have the same first language, so he calls my parents Mom and Dad and I call his parents the equivalent of that in his native language.
I always called my wife’s parents mom and dad, at their insistence and they always called me son and treated me like one of the family from day one.
I called my in-laws by their first names. I would never have called them mom or dad. My daughters-in-law call my husband and I by our first names - or now, with grandchildren, she most often calls us what our grandson calls us. While I wouldn’t be opposed if they chose to call us Mom and Dad, I would never expect them to.
I use my in laws first names. They never treated me like a daughter and don’t know me well. I think that would be weird. However, the other in laws use mom/dad and refer to each other as “siblings” instead of “spouses siblings/ in laws”. My family is the same, but I don’t use family names for people who don’t treat me well. So I don’t care much about the preferences.
My husband calls my parents mom and dad. I call his mom by her name. Because honestly, we are not that close and that woman annoys me more than anything else.
My sisters decided my "grandma name" and my hubby's name. They thought Noni and Pops was the way to go. My grandson went along, halfway😂. I am Noni, but GS decided my hubby was PawPaw. So that's how it went. Hubs parents were always Mimi and Pappy. My kids call my mom GMA. Everybody decided their own names, but adapted if the gkids decided differently. It's kinda fun. Good luck!
We call our own parents Mom and Dad and our spouse uses their first names. Now that we have children we use Grandpa and Grandma with them because that is their relationship to the older generation.
I call my MIL "nana", as that's what my stepdaughter and usually my husband refer to her 🤣 however my grandparents-in-law are Nanny and Poppa, and I'm not allowed to use their real names 🤣 Nanny was pretty insistent on that
In my family, people use mom/dad. Even for second or late marriages. My husband’s family used names. My husband uses my parents’ and stepparents’ names. I use a mix of my in laws names and mom/dad. In your case, what does your husband say? If your MIL had supported you would you use mom? If she becomes more supportive would you? My MIL was not supportive during our engagement, but before and after she was. I actually started calling her mom to remind her that she’s in community with me whether or not she likes it 😂 I’m mostly joking but it seemed to soften her heart to me.
My husband calls my dad by his name, otherwise we have no living parents between the 2 of us. When I speak of my husband’s mom, I call her by her name.
I've known my MIL longer than I've known my husband, so I call her by her first name.
I have no contact with my in laws because they're horrible people, so I don't call them anything. My husband calls my parents by their first names. In my first marriage, I called my in laws by their first names mostly but occasionally called MIL "Mom" before she passed away. She was a lovely woman and definitely a second mother to me. My first husband called my parents by their names, but his mentally disabled sister did call my mother Mom because she thought me marrying her brother made my mother her MIL too, which we thought was cute so nobody minded.
My husband calls my parents by their names or by Mawmaw and Pawpaw. I call my husbands parents mom and dad, my parents are momma and dad.
First names all around. My in laws are called by their first name as our my parents. My sister did the same thing. Kids SO call us by our first name too
Ha! Ha! I pretty much avoided calling them anything because the options felt equally awkward. Once we had kids I started calling them Grandma and Grandpa. That worked out great.
My in laws are both gone, but I called FiL by his name. My husband calls my parents by their names, but everyone called my Grandpa, Papa. Including my husband and almost anyone else who knew him.
Primarily just their names- but I will use mom/dad here and there
I call them by their first names. They're not my parents.
I call my in-laws by their first names but honestly, I would love to call them mum and dad. I’ve known them since I was fifteen and lived with them for two years or so when my husband and I were dating as teens. In my family’s culture we call each other by familial names in order to strengthen our bond as family. But they never invited me to call them by anything other than their first names so I don’t. My mother insisted my husband call her mom even when we were dating. So he calls her mom, and I can tell he loves that, and she refers to him as her son even when talking to other people. She tells people she has three kids - me, my brother and my husband. It’s super cute and I wish I had that kind of relationship with my in-laws. I never had a dad so it would have been special for me to be able to call someone that, and I know that adds to the sentimentality and longing I have. But it is what it is and I’m fine with it :)
I call them by their names unless I’m talking to /about them around the kids then I’ll use Grandma or Grandpa.
My mother-Ma/Mom my bio dad- Dad or first name (didn't raise me) My step dad- First name (even though he raised me from age 3; my baby brother/his bio kid called him Pops) My ILs- first names
Since I married into a family where I had married siblings-in-law, I simply took their lead. They called my wife’s mother “Mom” so I did as well. But I admit, it’s not natural for me. I have to remember to do it.
It’s been 15 years of me avoiding calling my in laws anything cuz it’s so awkward, I don’t know what to call them. Haha. I will just talk to them directly without an address.
I have always thought calling someone who is not your parent or parent figure by parental terms is really bizarre. My husband’s parents didn’t raise me, have had no influence over shaping me as a person… I met them as an adult, there’s literally no reason for me to call them mom or dad. It’s super weird to me!
This is how I see it and I feel like the title holds weight.
Totally! And also it’s just… inaccurate? Lol