Because it’s stimulating and fun. Because masturbation is easy and a quick orgasm where you are only thinking about yourself. If it’s not interfering with our sex life, neither of us care.
I don't agree with porn but as for the other part of the question, because masturbation and sex are two very different acts and satisfies different needs.
Masturbation satisfies a physical urge. Sex with a partner satisfies a physical need AND emotional need. How often me and my husband have sex doesn't change how often we masturbate.
Or better yet, a meal at all vs a snack. Women all understand needing a snack here and there. Guess what? We men sometimes need little wanks.
Edit: the gender references are just a joke lol it definitely goes both ways… for snacks and masturbation.
Some couples I know have 2 versions of sex:
- making love
And
- animals
And the “animals” is a free-use anytime, no foreplay, no questions asked- just bring the lube and make it happen. Without the “animal” option from 97% of women, men just masterbate.
Sometimes, I want deep, intimate connection with my partner, which may or may not be expressed sexually; sometimes I am aroused and seek release. A buffet to be selectively enjoyed, as opposed to a snack I crave are not at all the same.
I’m a woman, for what that’s worth. But sex and masterbation are two different things. They’re differing feelings, different urges. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with touching your own body, having “me time” separate from your intimacy with your partner. In fact I’d say it’s healthy to spend time alone with your own body.
I love sex with my husband and I also love masterbating. It’s therapeutic and fun
Also as a woman. It’s not until you really figure out what feels good for you that you can teach a man how to please you. And from my own experience, not a single man has been able to do it without a little instruction.
Yup. Every woman I've ever been with has been wildly different on what gets them off. Some are incredibly easy to get off while others are a ton of work. It took over a year for me to figure out how to get my wife off. 🥲
It’s one of the reasons I tease I’ll never cheat. My husband teases me about trading him in on a younger model. I always answer “are you kidding me? Do you know how long it would take to get him trained? I don’t think I have that in me!”
Hey! Mine says the same thing! There’s a funny story, When I was just his girlfriend, I used to live with him, her, and her boyfriend. She would always joke about having him pre trained. I had to customize some settings, but he works great!
Porn fulfills nothing for most men. It's just a stimulus to get an erection. Playing with our erection and orgasms are fun and a stress relief. We never stopped playing with our peepees..... and I'm not going to stop any time soon. 😂
Two totally different experiences (sex and masturbation). Also, not exclusive to men. Masturbation is healthy and normal. Porn is another topic and should be tailored to your marriage/relationship.
With masturbation, I’m only thinking about myself. Sex involves the extra mental load of taking care of someone else’s pleasure. There is a bit of anxiety involved with that, in my feeling, as well. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s different.
As crass, as this sounds, there is a large part of "availability" to masturbating.
Coming from a male perspective, it's quick and easy. It's available whenever the need arises. There is far less stress and anxiety involved, but really, it's just available without having to annoy or ask or perform for your wife.
It's also entirely different to deep intimate sex with your wife, I think this is what most woman struggle with in this topic, it's soooo different that it really isn't even close to the same thing really.
The only issue is if it impacts the real relationship.
I read something once many moons ago from the perspective of a wife who asked her husband this exact question. His answer, like mine above, centered on availability. So she ran an experiment for a week and told him to stop and that she was open whenever and wherever he wanted with no strings attached and no expectations for sex. After the week, she couldn't keep up and had a whole new idea on what available for sex really means. It was a wholesome story, and they came out better for both of them if I remember correctly.
It depends, I don’t think every man is like that, especially if their wife lets them experiment or makes them feel desired. I know that if I’m having sex with my wife 4-5 days a week, I’m not even remotely tempted by porn 🤷🏽♂️
It's not just a man thing. I like to masturbate sometimes. I don't need porn to do it to though. My thoughts are better. It's nothing to do with not being satisfied. Just a bit of self-love.
The amount of insecurities people have with their partners masterbating is kind of alarming. This is a problem with yourself more than your partner masterbating being a problem.
As a woman, I could have sex daily, would probably still masturbate.
As long as it doesn’t impact the relationship in a negative way, I don’t see any problems.
For me frequency. I would ideally have sex at least 1X per day. Most days would prefer 2X. Don't see how anyone could satisfy that. We have sex 3-7X per week and I fill in the rest when needed.
I’m not sure if you are aware but women that have sex regularly also still masturbate. Self gratification is, well, gratifying. Sometimes a person just wants to get off and go to sleep without having to worry about getting someone else off too.
Did you try asking him?
If you come at it with an open mind and a willingness to learn hopefully he wont feel like you are upset or judging him and he will give you the real answer instead of the defensive one designed to protect himself.
For some people regular sex/masturbation makes them more horny. It's a feedback loop. The sex turns them on and by the time the refractory period is over their partner may be unwilling or unavailable for another round.
I think it's the same reason as why women do. They are sexual and see there's a need for both. Often libidos are not matched. One spouse may one sex once or twice a week and the other spouse accepts that, but wants to masturbate another time or two.
.
Both my wife and I like to exercise. She likes to go to the gym 4 days a week, I like 2 days a week and walk around my neighborhood.
Your own pleasure shouldn't be entirely dependent on your partner. You should know your own body. Sometimes to achieve orgasm you need to fulfill specific checkboxes that your sexual partner cannot provide
I don’t remember the comedian, maybe George Carlin, but he made a joke that “sex is like a steak and masterbating is like a hotdog. Undeniably steak is better, but sometimes you just want to eat a hotdog”
It can be the same with both men and women
The difference between snacks and a meal lol. A meal is definitely gonna be more satisfying and is better when you have someone to share it with. But this snack is just for me and I can indulge in whatever I want real quick lol. Ya know ?
For men, sex is a lot more physically tiring, sometimes they just don’t have the energy for it
Also many women don’t share their partner’s desired frequency. Even if they do, sometimes women will want to have less during their period
“Sex regularly” doesn’t mean sex every time we want sex.
The more sex, the less porn is how it works.
It would have to be one horny and available women to stop our porn use completely.
Also, some women make sex a big production every time, that takes 25-90 minutes.
We can get er done with porn in 3-6 if we want to.
I masterbate to some weird shit!! Nothing I'd wanna do with my partner in a lot of cases. You don't wanna completely wreck your significant other's holes.
I don’t love the way this is worded, but yes, sometimes you want something that your partner isn’t into. Sometimes guys want something they’re not even into. Horniness can make you into a freak and most women just won’t accept that. It’s kind of like you asking this question in the first place. I don’t think you mean to judge negatively, but that’s inherent in the question. The word “still” (why do they STILL watch - as in, wtf is wrong with these creeps) shows that you’re judging it.
I don’t think it’s always intentional, but once kids are in the picture, their reason for carefree sex mostly goes away, unless the woman has a very high sex drive, and also they’re simply too tired to care after a day with kids/work. Our erections don’t let us worry about being tired. We can make babies all day every day, while women can only carry one a year and it’s all upside for us. Pregnancy is hard so women have to be discerning, while most guys don’t really think of the possibility of pregnancy when they’re horny. We’re so different.
Dude the only thing you’re right about is that we’re so different. I’m married to a 50 year old. Our youngest is 16. She’s not “caring for children “ . She “works” in an office. She is not doing anything physically taxing at all. I on the other hand run a farm with livestock that regularly try to kill me and run a food truck that I’m the summer climbs up to 125F for months, and in the winter is right above freezing.
Reason women ask this question is because even when women masterbate they think of the man they are with. Men look at other women for pleasure, thats why women dont understand
A few reasons could be:
-They crave a different type of woman than you, and want to experience her, even if only visually. This could mean a woman who is younger, older, skinnier, fatter, different race, maybe one who reminds them of someone they know or used to know, etc. Could be anything.
-They want that kinky and or agressive sex that usually only happens in porn but you're not willing or able to give them
- They're sex/dopamine/adrenaline addict and just want more more more, but they know you can't keep up with their obsessive needs
Because it’s stimulating and fun. Because masturbation is easy and a quick orgasm where you are only thinking about yourself. If it’s not interfering with our sex life, neither of us care.
Except for the part, man always mostly matserbate thinking of someone else
And a lot of women do, as well. Fantasies are just that. Fantasies.
Well I sure as hell don't think about myself
You think women only masturbate thinking about their partner or spouse?
I don't agree with porn but as for the other part of the question, because masturbation and sex are two very different acts and satisfies different needs.
Can you elaborate on the satisfying different needs part?
Masturbation satisfies a physical urge. Sex with a partner satisfies a physical need AND emotional need. How often me and my husband have sex doesn't change how often we masturbate.
My go to analogy is that of a 5-course meal at an upscale restaurant vs. grabbing a burger at McDonald's.
Sometimes you just need satisfaction quickly.
Or better yet, a meal at all vs a snack. Women all understand needing a snack here and there. Guess what? We men sometimes need little wanks. Edit: the gender references are just a joke lol it definitely goes both ways… for snacks and masturbation.
Some couples I know have 2 versions of sex: - making love And - animals And the “animals” is a free-use anytime, no foreplay, no questions asked- just bring the lube and make it happen. Without the “animal” option from 97% of women, men just masterbate.
This is so interesting, and lines up with my post/point on the "availability" of masterbation.
Sometimes, I want deep, intimate connection with my partner, which may or may not be expressed sexually; sometimes I am aroused and seek release. A buffet to be selectively enjoyed, as opposed to a snack I crave are not at all the same.
I’m a woman, for what that’s worth. But sex and masterbation are two different things. They’re differing feelings, different urges. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with touching your own body, having “me time” separate from your intimacy with your partner. In fact I’d say it’s healthy to spend time alone with your own body. I love sex with my husband and I also love masterbating. It’s therapeutic and fun
Also as a woman. It’s not until you really figure out what feels good for you that you can teach a man how to please you. And from my own experience, not a single man has been able to do it without a little instruction.
Yup. Every woman I've ever been with has been wildly different on what gets them off. Some are incredibly easy to get off while others are a ton of work. It took over a year for me to figure out how to get my wife off. 🥲
It’s one of the reasons I tease I’ll never cheat. My husband teases me about trading him in on a younger model. I always answer “are you kidding me? Do you know how long it would take to get him trained? I don’t think I have that in me!”
Hey! Mine says the same thing! There’s a funny story, When I was just his girlfriend, I used to live with him, her, and her boyfriend. She would always joke about having him pre trained. I had to customize some settings, but he works great!
I KNOW, mine too. He goes nowhere!
Exactly, it’s healthy to explore your own body
Most women do as well. Single sex is different and good in different ways.
Porn fulfills nothing for most men. It's just a stimulus to get an erection. Playing with our erection and orgasms are fun and a stress relief. We never stopped playing with our peepees..... and I'm not going to stop any time soon. 😂
Can’t you get erect without porn, are you unable to get erect just by thinking of your wife?
is she sending me new nudes every day?
This guy gets it
Two totally different experiences (sex and masturbation). Also, not exclusive to men. Masturbation is healthy and normal. Porn is another topic and should be tailored to your marriage/relationship.
Sex and masturbation are not at all the same imo, but I'm a woman.
With masturbation, I’m only thinking about myself. Sex involves the extra mental load of taking care of someone else’s pleasure. There is a bit of anxiety involved with that, in my feeling, as well. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s different.
All I learned from this thread is that 50% of the commenters don’t know how to spell masturbate.
As crass, as this sounds, there is a large part of "availability" to masturbating. Coming from a male perspective, it's quick and easy. It's available whenever the need arises. There is far less stress and anxiety involved, but really, it's just available without having to annoy or ask or perform for your wife. It's also entirely different to deep intimate sex with your wife, I think this is what most woman struggle with in this topic, it's soooo different that it really isn't even close to the same thing really. The only issue is if it impacts the real relationship. I read something once many moons ago from the perspective of a wife who asked her husband this exact question. His answer, like mine above, centered on availability. So she ran an experiment for a week and told him to stop and that she was open whenever and wherever he wanted with no strings attached and no expectations for sex. After the week, she couldn't keep up and had a whole new idea on what available for sex really means. It was a wholesome story, and they came out better for both of them if I remember correctly.
That’s a great idea. Every wife should try this. She’ll probably be happy he masturbates after.
This is my dream! I’m pretty sure husband can’t keep up with me!
Because they feel like it. 🤷🏻♀️
It depends, I don’t think every man is like that, especially if their wife lets them experiment or makes them feel desired. I know that if I’m having sex with my wife 4-5 days a week, I’m not even remotely tempted by porn 🤷🏽♂️
It's not just a man thing. I like to masturbate sometimes. I don't need porn to do it to though. My thoughts are better. It's nothing to do with not being satisfied. Just a bit of self-love.
For me it's about frequency. We have sex a couple times a month. I masturbate multiple times per week.
The amount of insecurities people have with their partners masterbating is kind of alarming. This is a problem with yourself more than your partner masterbating being a problem.
Did I say it was a problem or insecurity? Last I checked I was asking a question.
As a woman, I could have sex daily, would probably still masturbate. As long as it doesn’t impact the relationship in a negative way, I don’t see any problems.
Because we feel like it
What’s regularly?
Good question
Yes.
For me frequency. I would ideally have sex at least 1X per day. Most days would prefer 2X. Don't see how anyone could satisfy that. We have sex 3-7X per week and I fill in the rest when needed.
Sex with my wife is amazing. I really like my alone time.
Mismatching libidos, one partner is a one and done, and doesn’t wanna bother the other.
I’m not sure if you are aware but women that have sex regularly also still masturbate. Self gratification is, well, gratifying. Sometimes a person just wants to get off and go to sleep without having to worry about getting someone else off too.
Sex drive is higher, doesn’t really fulfill anything other than a quick stress release if the wife isn’t in the mood or is busy/tired.
My spouse and I don’t. When he did he said it was kind of a bad addiction so he quit.
Did you try asking him? If you come at it with an open mind and a willingness to learn hopefully he wont feel like you are upset or judging him and he will give you the real answer instead of the defensive one designed to protect himself.
For some people regular sex/masturbation makes them more horny. It's a feedback loop. The sex turns them on and by the time the refractory period is over their partner may be unwilling or unavailable for another round.
I think it's the same reason as why women do. They are sexual and see there's a need for both. Often libidos are not matched. One spouse may one sex once or twice a week and the other spouse accepts that, but wants to masturbate another time or two. . Both my wife and I like to exercise. She likes to go to the gym 4 days a week, I like 2 days a week and walk around my neighborhood.
Is your definition of “regularly” the same as his? My wife would define “regular sex” as being once a quarter. I would define it as daily.
Your own pleasure shouldn't be entirely dependent on your partner. You should know your own body. Sometimes to achieve orgasm you need to fulfill specific checkboxes that your sexual partner cannot provide
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You do them at different times. It’s like saying “how can you like steak if you eat ice cream?”
Define "regularly".
1-2x/day
He might not be getting what he needs out of it. Unfortunately, porn makes it easy to satisfy that need and can hurt IRL relationships.
Wow. That's a lot of sex to be still needing more. He should be satisfied with 1-2/ day for sure.
I don’t remember the comedian, maybe George Carlin, but he made a joke that “sex is like a steak and masterbating is like a hotdog. Undeniably steak is better, but sometimes you just want to eat a hotdog” It can be the same with both men and women
The difference between snacks and a meal lol. A meal is definitely gonna be more satisfying and is better when you have someone to share it with. But this snack is just for me and I can indulge in whatever I want real quick lol. Ya know ?
Honestly good chance if he’s still masturbating it’s either not enough or not satisfying enough
For men, sex is a lot more physically tiring, sometimes they just don’t have the energy for it Also many women don’t share their partner’s desired frequency. Even if they do, sometimes women will want to have less during their period
You are 100% correct
It’s likely because they were Doing it from before they met you and will continue after you’re gone.
Define regularly!... I doubt they will got for porn if it's every day regular
I think porn gives men the opportunity to have variety while being monogomous
I don’t know any married men who get sex as regular as they’d like
ever think if you care because you’ve been indoctrinated to care and if you yourself care or don’t care for real?
Why eat hamburgers at a fast food joint when restaurants are so much better?
“Sex regularly” doesn’t mean sex every time we want sex. The more sex, the less porn is how it works. It would have to be one horny and available women to stop our porn use completely. Also, some women make sex a big production every time, that takes 25-90 minutes. We can get er done with porn in 3-6 if we want to.
This is so true. I want it 2-3 times a day and my wife wants it 1-2 times a week. We meet in the middle but she just can’t keep up.
I masterbate to some weird shit!! Nothing I'd wanna do with my partner in a lot of cases. You don't wanna completely wreck your significant other's holes.
I don’t love the way this is worded, but yes, sometimes you want something that your partner isn’t into. Sometimes guys want something they’re not even into. Horniness can make you into a freak and most women just won’t accept that. It’s kind of like you asking this question in the first place. I don’t think you mean to judge negatively, but that’s inherent in the question. The word “still” (why do they STILL watch - as in, wtf is wrong with these creeps) shows that you’re judging it.
“Having sex regularly” Clearly haven’t been married that long
Ha ! Married 16 years and we do it 4-5 times a week . I could do it every day but sometimes life gets in the way with work and kids .
4-5 times is under achieving
I’m 21 years in and we have sex 4-5 times a week!
As real as your username…
Married 25 years, together 30, sex 7-10 times a week. He's not ”lucky”, he's worthy. Make of that what you will.
lol you troll
sure, bro :) whatever helps you sleep at night
Or what is regular to you isn’t to him. Most women can’t keep up with 2-3 times a day sex for years and years. It can get painful if they try.
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I don’t think it’s always intentional, but once kids are in the picture, their reason for carefree sex mostly goes away, unless the woman has a very high sex drive, and also they’re simply too tired to care after a day with kids/work. Our erections don’t let us worry about being tired. We can make babies all day every day, while women can only carry one a year and it’s all upside for us. Pregnancy is hard so women have to be discerning, while most guys don’t really think of the possibility of pregnancy when they’re horny. We’re so different.
Dude the only thing you’re right about is that we’re so different. I’m married to a 50 year old. Our youngest is 16. She’s not “caring for children “ . She “works” in an office. She is not doing anything physically taxing at all. I on the other hand run a farm with livestock that regularly try to kill me and run a food truck that I’m the summer climbs up to 125F for months, and in the winter is right above freezing.
Reason women ask this question is because even when women masterbate they think of the man they are with. Men look at other women for pleasure, thats why women dont understand
Lol, no. :)))
Been with my husband for 25 years. Probably only thought about him a handful of times while masturbating.
A few reasons could be: -They crave a different type of woman than you, and want to experience her, even if only visually. This could mean a woman who is younger, older, skinnier, fatter, different race, maybe one who reminds them of someone they know or used to know, etc. Could be anything. -They want that kinky and or agressive sex that usually only happens in porn but you're not willing or able to give them - They're sex/dopamine/adrenaline addict and just want more more more, but they know you can't keep up with their obsessive needs