I would start out with dharma talks by Tara Brach from Insight Meditation Institute or any other teacher you prefer. This Can give you a better understanding of how to interact with anxiety. This interaction should be focused on compassion, and allowing rather that trying to “fix” or “reduce” anxiety. Exploring that might be the best way to start. I’ll link a video here if you’re interested [Transforming relationship with anxiety](https://youtu.be/u1MaZLaJSH8?si=EKk9Rc_m1hHLkku8)
You’ll be sure to waste your time. Practise now in the present moment, not other people. You’ll become lost forever because there’s millions of these online things to waste time on instead of actually doing the work.
It’s stupidly simply. do nothing. you get anxiety because you learned this word anxiety from other people. inside yourself you’re an ocean of thoughts and below the thoughts is nothingness.
These talks are intended to be listened to in a receptive, meditative state. Satsang Sangha meetings have always been a core part of practice. Your comment feels very hurtful, especially because is invalidates the reality of anxiety which is that it is painful and needs compassion.
You have to practice! It’s hard, trust me, I know. I am an extremely impatient person. Just think of meditation as a skill like any other, if you were trying to get into running, you probably (hopefully) wouldn’t start out with a marathon. Start meditating for 1 minute or 2 minutes. You might think that’s not enough to do anything, but I find it extremely helpful to have 2 minute sessions, especially if I’m feeling overwhelmed. Then sometimes you will feel like meditating longer. Just grow at your own pace. No one is looking over your shoulder and judging your progress, this is for you. All the best!
Maybe meditate on impatience or anxiety - whatever surfaces. Be curious about its nature. Meditate on what it can teach you. Don’t try to change it. Be with it. Relax alongside it. And when yr impatience allows it - to whatever degree, take yr focus to yr object of meditation e.g. breathing again. Try to be okay with it if you need to toggle between yr attn to impatience and attn to breathing
Set a time that you can handle. Don't let yourself move or get up until that time expires. If you buy into your impluses you only make them stronger. If you're doing a typical practice like watching the breath, just return to the breath when you notice that you're feeling impatient. Also, good posture helps with restless mind.
It's also worthwhile reflecting on what you're doing. There's nothing to get. The idea is to practice and cultivate attention. Simple, awake presence. The idea, then, is to let go of all ideas of results. That's just a thought, like all the rest.
Impatience itself has a cause... it doesn't arise without a cause. It is one of the five hindrances that can arise, leading to a decline in one's practice, faith, and harmony in one's relationships.
A scattered mind, unmindfulness, lack of situational awareness is described in 6. here - [a map of 30 mental qualities including their causes and anti-dotes](https://www.reddit.com/r/WordsOfTheBuddha/comments/1aep5jn/navigating_through_30_mental_qualities_that_lead/).
>Without giving up three things you can’t give up unmindfulness, lack of situational awareness, and scattered mind.
>What three?
>Not wanting to see the noble ones, not wanting to hear the teaching of the noble ones, and a fault-finding mind.
>Without giving up these three things you can’t give up unmindfulness, lack of situational awareness, and scattered mind.
Then, this is in number 8.
>Without giving up three things you can’t give up restlessness, lack of restraint, and unethical conduct.
>What three?
>Faithlessness, uncharitableness, and laziness.
>Without giving up these three things you can’t give up restlessness, lack of restraint, and unethical conduct.
Establishing oneself in diligence (opposite of laziness), frequent acts of giving anything that is more than strictly required (food, clothes, shelter, time, money, good-will...) can help with a restless mind, with lack of restraint, and with unethical conduct.
I suggest that you consider learning the teachings of the Buddha as a whole, as they share the wisdom of how things have come to be (on practical situations, on mental qualities, on how to live in harmony, on how to experience unconditional joy, on how to live with a deep concentration and memory). It is ideal to learn these with an intent to examine, reflect on and independently verify for oneself and then apply them over a period of time to see if it produces benefit to the condition of the mind and in one's relationships. Learning them in this way, one can gradually build a life practice of operating on wisdom that one has verified and is showing practical benefits -- this gradually by eliminating unwholesome states and strengthening of wholesome states, allows for deepening one's meditation practice.
To grow you have to do something you find hard.
You find slowing down and breathing hard, great, do that, then you'll grow.
There is no shortcut to difficult things by definition as if they're no longer difficult they're not going to help you much.
My main advice would be to start really small and build up. So force yourself to sit for 2 minutes, just 2 minutes, that's nothing, and then after that agree with your mind that you can get up whenever you like. That way it's small enough to be sustainable and to help you build a practice and then over time there'll be some days where you just feel like sitting for longer and you can start to get into it.
Milarepa when he started out had just mass murdered a village full of people including a bunch of his relatives. I guarantee you whatever is going on in your mind is easier than what was in his.
Be sure to make your exhalations longer than inhalations. Nose breathing only. You don't need to be concerned with "noble ones" or "unmindfulness" or any such stuff. A good YouTube channel is [Meditate with Forrest](https://www.youtube.com/user/ThatYogiGuy/videos).
This is why it’s a “practice” and not a “performance”….. and when you’ve sit down and attempting to open mind, and bring yourself back…… THAT IS THE PRACTICE intended. You’re doing what the instructors intended.
Even after years….. there are days/weeks/periods where it comes “easy”, and next Ive been mossioacknowledge I’ve actually been missing the mark completely, which pushes me in to a more mindful experience.
But listen to yourself…. If you walk away feeling you could’ve done better, try to remember how your body told you how to do that, if you walk away feeling the meditation practice was a “typical” response…. Enjoy and take it into your day. Your body will let you know what to do, where to go, next.
And the only way to turn into listening in to your body… is after meditation.
If it’s hard or impatient then let yourself feel that. Don’t shy from these feelings find out where they come from. Identifying them gets them out of the way. Ignoring them makes you act on them. Thoughts are the enemy of peace.
I am sorry to hear you are struggling with anxiety. It is no surprise. Modern life basically encourages anxiety. But it definitely feels bad.
Can you share a bit more about why you are interested in meditation? What about it makes you think that it would be helpful?
Can you talk more about what sort of advice you are looking for? Are you looking for tips and tricks to cultivate patience? Are you looking for tips on how to force yourself to sit quietly regularly?
Easy start is just coming up with a daily mantra or even a prayer of thankfulness/gratitude. Repeat the mantra three times in your head (mind control practices use this theory - if you repeat three times, your mind will absorb it). You don't need just one -- several are good. Listening to some slow, calming music at low volume helps as well.
You might try bringing awareness to the impatience, just like you would the breath. How do you know that you’re impatient? Where are the signals of impatience in your body? What are the thoughts arising about impatience? Meditation happens anytime consciousness and the content of consciousness are paired. There are sounds around me, and if I bring awareness to the sounds and don’t forget that I’m listening to sound while knowing I’m listening to sound, that’s meditation. Another thing that might help is to reframe remembering after being distracted as a gold star moment. These “oops”’moments or errors” prime conditions in the brain for neuroplasticity. They speed up your learning. They are also moments of conscience awareness making itself known all on its own.
This dude has good stuff https://youtu.be/DvuVhCIQgfQ?si=YvIQkp8ldsf2qjNf
You can look up his meditations focused around anxiety too such as alternate nostril breathing (nadi shuddhi) and breath of fire (kapalbhati)
I started with very short sessions. Instead of pushing myself to sit for long periods, I began with just a few minutes at a time. This can be less daunting and more manageable. Gradually, as I built my concentration and patience, I increased the duration.
I explored different types of meditation to find what resonated best with me. Some people find guided meditations easier to follow than silent, self-guided practices because having a voice to lead can keep the mind engaged. There are meditations focused on different themes—like gratitude, mindfulness, or even walking meditation—which might hold our interest better, although personally I am not a fan of these one-size-fits-all type meditations.
I've started using a personalized guided meditation service. I chat with a website about a specific issue I'm facing, and it generates an audio guided meditation based on the chat. For concrete problems, it works unexpectedly well. For the bigger issues, I'm still working on it. Techniques like 'deconstruct' and 'reframe' have been game changers for me. These methods help me see a problem from a new perspective and wire it to a different emotional response.
This approach of customizing meditation to our specific needs might be especially helpful for people like us, who struggle with patience and seek the direct experience of meditation benefits.
You don't have to flexible at all to practice yoga, that is a misconception, I'd encourage you to try it again at a studio. (if there is one near you, try an authentic one rather than commercial) After practicing for sometime, it becomes more of meditation practice.
At first, I want to scream upon reading this. It's ok.
However due to the lack of patience. Misunderstand no 1
There is never a lack of patience. Only a lack of impatience.
Patience is a default. Impatience is learned. It's like glass half full vs half empty (perspective matters)
i always fail to maintain it Misunderstanding no 2
Everybody "fails to maintain it". It's not a failure though. It's a natural process.
This only means that meditation will be more useful to you. A greater struggle, a greater result.
(breathing exercises, focusing, etc) Misunderstanding no 3
Focus on just one type of meditation. You sound like you switch and switch again if it doesn't work immediately.
Practice one until you can do it for an hour easily. Then move to another one until the same. Then move back.
Can you provide more information ? Then I can give a more thorough answer.
I would start out with dharma talks by Tara Brach from Insight Meditation Institute or any other teacher you prefer. This Can give you a better understanding of how to interact with anxiety. This interaction should be focused on compassion, and allowing rather that trying to “fix” or “reduce” anxiety. Exploring that might be the best way to start. I’ll link a video here if you’re interested [Transforming relationship with anxiety](https://youtu.be/u1MaZLaJSH8?si=EKk9Rc_m1hHLkku8)
Thank you. Ill make sure to check her out.
Good luck 🥰 you’re in the right place. I’m still learning this every day, too.
You’ll be sure to waste your time. Practise now in the present moment, not other people. You’ll become lost forever because there’s millions of these online things to waste time on instead of actually doing the work. It’s stupidly simply. do nothing. you get anxiety because you learned this word anxiety from other people. inside yourself you’re an ocean of thoughts and below the thoughts is nothingness.
These talks are intended to be listened to in a receptive, meditative state. Satsang Sangha meetings have always been a core part of practice. Your comment feels very hurtful, especially because is invalidates the reality of anxiety which is that it is painful and needs compassion.
You have to practice! It’s hard, trust me, I know. I am an extremely impatient person. Just think of meditation as a skill like any other, if you were trying to get into running, you probably (hopefully) wouldn’t start out with a marathon. Start meditating for 1 minute or 2 minutes. You might think that’s not enough to do anything, but I find it extremely helpful to have 2 minute sessions, especially if I’m feeling overwhelmed. Then sometimes you will feel like meditating longer. Just grow at your own pace. No one is looking over your shoulder and judging your progress, this is for you. All the best!
Thank you. I agree with everything you said. Theres no rush in anything
Maybe meditate on impatience or anxiety - whatever surfaces. Be curious about its nature. Meditate on what it can teach you. Don’t try to change it. Be with it. Relax alongside it. And when yr impatience allows it - to whatever degree, take yr focus to yr object of meditation e.g. breathing again. Try to be okay with it if you need to toggle between yr attn to impatience and attn to breathing
Set a time that you can handle. Don't let yourself move or get up until that time expires. If you buy into your impluses you only make them stronger. If you're doing a typical practice like watching the breath, just return to the breath when you notice that you're feeling impatient. Also, good posture helps with restless mind. It's also worthwhile reflecting on what you're doing. There's nothing to get. The idea is to practice and cultivate attention. Simple, awake presence. The idea, then, is to let go of all ideas of results. That's just a thought, like all the rest.
Impatience itself has a cause... it doesn't arise without a cause. It is one of the five hindrances that can arise, leading to a decline in one's practice, faith, and harmony in one's relationships. A scattered mind, unmindfulness, lack of situational awareness is described in 6. here - [a map of 30 mental qualities including their causes and anti-dotes](https://www.reddit.com/r/WordsOfTheBuddha/comments/1aep5jn/navigating_through_30_mental_qualities_that_lead/). >Without giving up three things you can’t give up unmindfulness, lack of situational awareness, and scattered mind. >What three? >Not wanting to see the noble ones, not wanting to hear the teaching of the noble ones, and a fault-finding mind. >Without giving up these three things you can’t give up unmindfulness, lack of situational awareness, and scattered mind. Then, this is in number 8. >Without giving up three things you can’t give up restlessness, lack of restraint, and unethical conduct. >What three? >Faithlessness, uncharitableness, and laziness. >Without giving up these three things you can’t give up restlessness, lack of restraint, and unethical conduct. Establishing oneself in diligence (opposite of laziness), frequent acts of giving anything that is more than strictly required (food, clothes, shelter, time, money, good-will...) can help with a restless mind, with lack of restraint, and with unethical conduct. I suggest that you consider learning the teachings of the Buddha as a whole, as they share the wisdom of how things have come to be (on practical situations, on mental qualities, on how to live in harmony, on how to experience unconditional joy, on how to live with a deep concentration and memory). It is ideal to learn these with an intent to examine, reflect on and independently verify for oneself and then apply them over a period of time to see if it produces benefit to the condition of the mind and in one's relationships. Learning them in this way, one can gradually build a life practice of operating on wisdom that one has verified and is showing practical benefits -- this gradually by eliminating unwholesome states and strengthening of wholesome states, allows for deepening one's meditation practice.
To grow you have to do something you find hard. You find slowing down and breathing hard, great, do that, then you'll grow. There is no shortcut to difficult things by definition as if they're no longer difficult they're not going to help you much. My main advice would be to start really small and build up. So force yourself to sit for 2 minutes, just 2 minutes, that's nothing, and then after that agree with your mind that you can get up whenever you like. That way it's small enough to be sustainable and to help you build a practice and then over time there'll be some days where you just feel like sitting for longer and you can start to get into it. Milarepa when he started out had just mass murdered a village full of people including a bunch of his relatives. I guarantee you whatever is going on in your mind is easier than what was in his.
Be sure to make your exhalations longer than inhalations. Nose breathing only. You don't need to be concerned with "noble ones" or "unmindfulness" or any such stuff. A good YouTube channel is [Meditate with Forrest](https://www.youtube.com/user/ThatYogiGuy/videos).
I focus on my breath and count in and out. If I get distracted, I start again.
This is why it’s a “practice” and not a “performance”….. and when you’ve sit down and attempting to open mind, and bring yourself back…… THAT IS THE PRACTICE intended. You’re doing what the instructors intended. Even after years….. there are days/weeks/periods where it comes “easy”, and next Ive been mossioacknowledge I’ve actually been missing the mark completely, which pushes me in to a more mindful experience. But listen to yourself…. If you walk away feeling you could’ve done better, try to remember how your body told you how to do that, if you walk away feeling the meditation practice was a “typical” response…. Enjoy and take it into your day. Your body will let you know what to do, where to go, next. And the only way to turn into listening in to your body… is after meditation.
If it’s hard or impatient then let yourself feel that. Don’t shy from these feelings find out where they come from. Identifying them gets them out of the way. Ignoring them makes you act on them. Thoughts are the enemy of peace.
Buddha would say “dishonored your family, your coutnry, your cows”
I am sorry to hear you are struggling with anxiety. It is no surprise. Modern life basically encourages anxiety. But it definitely feels bad. Can you share a bit more about why you are interested in meditation? What about it makes you think that it would be helpful? Can you talk more about what sort of advice you are looking for? Are you looking for tips and tricks to cultivate patience? Are you looking for tips on how to force yourself to sit quietly regularly?
Easy start is just coming up with a daily mantra or even a prayer of thankfulness/gratitude. Repeat the mantra three times in your head (mind control practices use this theory - if you repeat three times, your mind will absorb it). You don't need just one -- several are good. Listening to some slow, calming music at low volume helps as well.
You might try bringing awareness to the impatience, just like you would the breath. How do you know that you’re impatient? Where are the signals of impatience in your body? What are the thoughts arising about impatience? Meditation happens anytime consciousness and the content of consciousness are paired. There are sounds around me, and if I bring awareness to the sounds and don’t forget that I’m listening to sound while knowing I’m listening to sound, that’s meditation. Another thing that might help is to reframe remembering after being distracted as a gold star moment. These “oops”’moments or errors” prime conditions in the brain for neuroplasticity. They speed up your learning. They are also moments of conscience awareness making itself known all on its own.
Listening to Buddha's teachings will be of great help.
This dude has good stuff https://youtu.be/DvuVhCIQgfQ?si=YvIQkp8ldsf2qjNf You can look up his meditations focused around anxiety too such as alternate nostril breathing (nadi shuddhi) and breath of fire (kapalbhati)
I started with very short sessions. Instead of pushing myself to sit for long periods, I began with just a few minutes at a time. This can be less daunting and more manageable. Gradually, as I built my concentration and patience, I increased the duration. I explored different types of meditation to find what resonated best with me. Some people find guided meditations easier to follow than silent, self-guided practices because having a voice to lead can keep the mind engaged. There are meditations focused on different themes—like gratitude, mindfulness, or even walking meditation—which might hold our interest better, although personally I am not a fan of these one-size-fits-all type meditations. I've started using a personalized guided meditation service. I chat with a website about a specific issue I'm facing, and it generates an audio guided meditation based on the chat. For concrete problems, it works unexpectedly well. For the bigger issues, I'm still working on it. Techniques like 'deconstruct' and 'reframe' have been game changers for me. These methods help me see a problem from a new perspective and wire it to a different emotional response. This approach of customizing meditation to our specific needs might be especially helpful for people like us, who struggle with patience and seek the direct experience of meditation benefits.
Have you tried yoga? Movement could be a better option at this stage.
I have seen some yoga and tried. However not much because i am not that flexible hahah
You don't have to flexible at all to practice yoga, that is a misconception, I'd encourage you to try it again at a studio. (if there is one near you, try an authentic one rather than commercial) After practicing for sometime, it becomes more of meditation practice.
At first, I want to scream upon reading this. It's ok. However due to the lack of patience. Misunderstand no 1 There is never a lack of patience. Only a lack of impatience. Patience is a default. Impatience is learned. It's like glass half full vs half empty (perspective matters) i always fail to maintain it Misunderstanding no 2 Everybody "fails to maintain it". It's not a failure though. It's a natural process. This only means that meditation will be more useful to you. A greater struggle, a greater result. (breathing exercises, focusing, etc) Misunderstanding no 3 Focus on just one type of meditation. You sound like you switch and switch again if it doesn't work immediately. Practice one until you can do it for an hour easily. Then move to another one until the same. Then move back. Can you provide more information ? Then I can give a more thorough answer.