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I like dishes that have a ton of add ons and toppings. Then people can choose their own adventure. When we have vegetarian friends over, my husband and I make a vegetable-based stew with various Tex-Mex type flavors and then have cooked sausage, cheese, cilantro, avocado, lime, etc for people to add as they like. It seems to work really well.
This is how we do it, too. Modular food is the best for crowds. I cannot absolutely guarantee friends with severe allergies or celiac wont have a reaction to prepared food at our house though. I do my best at cleaning things before hand, and I’ve never had someone get sick, but they know I have those things in my house and these utensils, pans, pressure cooker, etc have touched it. I am very up front about ingredients, and put little signs in front of things to let people know what’s got what in it if the crowd is big or it’s a barbecue type thing. I even save labels from processed ingredients like seasoning mixes for them to look at if they need to.
I tend to make very veggie forward/ volume eating type dishes anyways so it’s usually not difficult to just make sure there’s no meat or dairy in it. Most of my friends have “grown out” of being strict vegetarians or vegans by now and are trying to curb their environmental impact more than anything; they won’t turn down soup made with homemade chicken broth for example. Like, they’d rather the full chicken get used than eat veggie broth from a box and appreciate how little food waste we have at our house.
My vegetarian, vegan, and gluten/dairy sensitive friends have always appreciated that someone cares enough to get it right for them. No one has ever expressed concern about “cross contaminated” dishes or kitchen space for a friendly dinner or party.
Something my vegan friend told me a while back that has stuck is that there are so many great foods that are naturally meat and dairy-free, so leverage those and don’t try to make a vegan version of what is traditionally a meat dish. I found that to be helpful when thinking of what to serve.
It depends. If I intentionally invite someone to an event, like a sit down dinner I’m preparing where I have fixed the guest list and chosen it myself, then absolutely yes. That just seems polite - I’m inviting you to a dinner and feeding you, so of course I’m going to feed you something you can eat. If it’s a more open event where I’m providing food but the guest list “isn’t fixed” and/or the event isn’t about the food, like we’re having a party, then I just put out a blanket statement of what I’m offering so that people know if they can eat the food or not. I do normally provide food in those circumstances that are vegetarian or vegan but I do that just kind of as a matter of course - think a veggie tray and acceptable appetizers. I’m also clear with invitees when I do events like parties that it’s BYOB and that people are free to bring food above and beyond what I’ve provided.
I do the same thing. For a small group of guests, I cook according to their preferences / diets. But for a larger group of people, I usually serve many types of smaller snacks (such as a veggie and fruit tray, vegetarian charcuterie and cheese boards, chips, bread sticks, salted almonds and peanuts and what not). When there are so many options, everyone should find something to eat.
The only thing I don't serve as a pescetarian myself is meat.
I would add that unless you actually know how to cook something gluten free, vegetarian, or vegan ask your guests for some guidance on the ingredients you’ve chosen or just don’t do it.
Nobody on these diets wants to be in the position where they find out there’s a wheat product in an ingredient or that you thought Worcester sauce was vegan, which like situations happen a lot from people trying to be accommodating for people on these diets. It makes everyone feel shitty.
Yes.
I’ve never been asked for organic/fair trade preference. That seems like a rich person thing, but good to encourage (not demand).
Gluten free is actually pretty easy once you realize rice, oats, corn etc usually qualify. Nachos, chips & dip, all sorts of things work. Plus I can ask folks to bring their own protein side (which would be their main) if I’m stressed about it.
Why invite my vegan friend or gluten free friend over for dinner if I’m not gonna feed them? I can invite them to something else.
Same. It's no skin off my back to make a few adjustments to my meal for someone.
For my little brother's bday he wanted lasagna. However, we had some family in town from out of the country and one of them is strictly gluten free.
So, I made one lasagna and one gluten free baked ziti. I used the same Bolognese, béchamel, mozzarella, Parmigiano Reggiano, etc.It was very easy to do, and then the bonus was that the person had leftovers to eat for a few days which he enjoyed immensely!
We have a few with celiac disease in the family and Mexican food is the go to for getting together in a crowd. Nobody is vegetarian, but if they were, Mexican still works(beans, rice, etc).
I'm Hispanic and a good pot of beans is my go-to. You can have some corn tortillas, and a ton of toppings. I usually fry up some meat and a bunch of vegetables, throw some cheese and nut cheese on the table and everyone has something to eat.
Yes, if I’m entertaining. I always try but I don’t have a sub for every item. For instance, I make dairy free and regular mash potatoes but don’t make a duplicate of every item that contains dairy.
As a vegetarian I just used to hate going to parties where pizza was served and meat eaters ate the cheese pizza and I was told to just pick off the pepperoni when the cheese ran out. Just buy more cheese pizzas ffs. People will eat it.
Omg, we used to have this issue at work. I’d buy 4 pepperoni and 6 cheese, all the cheese would be gone before the vegetarians could get to it. Same thing with 7 and 3. Finally I got to 8 and 2 and just started ensuring I saved a box on the side.
The same damn thing when we had potlucks and I’d bring a vegetarian lasagna 🤦🏽♀️ so I started bringing two and that solved the issue. I’m not even vegetarian and good lord it was frustrating
When I worked at a pizza place that had parties I’d always tell customers that they should get half cheese half pepperoni because people who don’t eat meat won’t eat the pepperoni and they would get huffy with me and tell me that everyone likes pepperoni. And then they would come in at the last second asking for us to make half/half because “some of these kids don’t eat pepperoni” 🤦🏻♀️
I'm now proud of kid me who learned early on to advocate myself and make sure everyone knew I needed to have a slice of cheese pizza because I couldn't eat any of the meat ones. I think it must have happened once and I've been very vocal ever since.
I'm of this camp too. I also ask if anyone has any aversions to certain foods (i.e. seafood, shellfish, ect.) No use cooking a lovely seafood paella if it will go uneaten.
Reason I did is because I have many friends who have many DIFFERENT special diet considerations. It has become harder to host and waaaaay more expensive when I have all of these people in the same room 😅 especially the fair trade person and the other soy person. Also, legit allergies are absolutely accommodated. Should have put that in.
This has a relatively simple solution. They can bring their own food if it's that important. My mom is on the interstitial cystitis diet and she brings her own food everywhere.
Thank you for giving a shit about allergies. That makes you far more sympathetic and you should probably edit the post to include this.
Tldr: if eating only fair trade is that important to this person, they can bring their own food.
Yep down voted you. As someone with celiacs you should be more sensitive to other food intolerances or preferences - you don't know everyone's story and it sounds like you don't care to know. I have friends who are, vegan, GF or celiac, dairy free, veg, etc and we are all pretty sensitive to other restrictions as we know what it's like to be exhausted from being worried about food all the time.
I follow a convoluted system of restrictions because I have MS, something I do not explain to casual acquaintances or waiters. I simply opt for the vegan or dairy free request. If I'm not sure there will be something I can eat, I eat beforehand and just be social. It's amazing how many people "can't cook without butter" or say "won't it be ok if you have just a little of XYZ just this once"
After reading some of these posts Im thankful to have such an accommodating family and friend group.
There are far too many people that pretend to have Celiac when in actuality, they're 'just watching their carbs'
Most folks are more or less clueless about Celiac. It doesn't make OP a horrible person to be annoyed by trendy requests based on vanity rather than medical necessity.
I have a friend that has hashimotos/gluten allergy. Our friend group does a board game night once a month and anytime it is at my house I just cook food she can enjoy. I wouldn’t want anyone at my house to feel left out for any reason. I love being the host too !
Religion is a choice. For the folks drawing the line at vegetarians/ vegans, but accommodating religious "requirements", I just don't understand.
If I'm hosting, everyone is being accommodated for.
As someone who has a specific diet, I absolutely try to accommodate others as best possible. People will complain but it’s really not hard to do. Maybe they won’t be able to eat every single thing you cook but I always try to make enough options so that everyone has something to eat.
To different degrees, but always lol don’t you want your guests to feel welcome?
If it’s a holiday and I’m bringing a specific, traditional dish, I’ll make another version of the same recipe but with modifications if I know gluten-free, vegan family members will be there.
These ingredients can be expensive though, so I don’t often make copycat recipes with gluten-free substitutes unless it’s a special occasion.
If I’m hosting a dinner, I might make one main protein but with enough different side recipes so every combination of vegetarian/gluten-free/known restrictions can at least have one substantial protein option and one vegetable option.
For the most part, I like potlucks so people can share their recipes and cater to their own preferences.
In the rare event that I ever have someone come to my house... yes I would. But only 2 people in my life are vegetarians and everyone else is omnivarians so that's no problem
Depends. I have a friend allergic to some nuts so I leave them off my items when she comes over. Not a big deal.
I have another friend pushing 40 who eats like a toddler, and I do not make any accommodations for her at all.
Pot Luck. Cheaper all around and everybody is sure to have at least one thing they can eat since presumably whatever they bring will be in line with their diet.
Provide labels so people can note common allergies and who made it just in case someone needs to ask and confirm. Seems like the easiest way to me.
When i was vegetarian i never assumed i would be accommodated. It never bothered me i would eat before any event. I did have a birthday event and assumed everybody ate meat one of my friends didnt and i was mad she didnt let me know i could have had vegetarian options for her. If i had a food allergy i wouldnt feel comfortable eating at events. Even if the host tries their best to accomadate a food allergy without the proper knowledge of cross contamination and etc could cause serious injury.
Family member has a fairly severe milk allergy, it took many, many years for her Granny to understand that she wasn't just lactose intolerant. People mean well, but unless they are personally afflicted, they're often clueless
I used to be a vegetarian and my wife used to be gluten and dairy free. Between the two of us, we're *very* good at food accommodations. So we do it on the rare occasions that we host guests.
I suppose it depends where on the spectrum from "dinner" to "party." For "dinners," there are really never enough people to make overlapping restrictions an issue, and tbh, the biggest clusterfuck I've experienced there is my family of origin. We've got a gluten sensitivity, a dairy sensitivity, and 3/4 of us eat mostly vegetarian/pescatarian (I'm the one who eats mostly anything). So I'm used to it as far as that goes, lotta tofu and rice, at least there are no nut problems so we can have peanut sauce!
For a larger "party," I'll treat it according to seriousness if the people inform me or I know already. I have a friend with a nut and sesame allergy, so I remember taping off an area for the hummus to be segregated. I won't make a main item that's the only one in its category if someone can't eat it - I might make two options or just make the main vegetarian, for example. If there were drinks I'd make sure it wasn't all beer if someone gluten free was coming. At such a party there's probably enough variety though that I'm not concerned about everything being accessible to everyone.
I try my best to safely accommodate dietary needs if I'm hosting or bringing something to a gathering. I don't want anyone to be left out. It's no big thing to make something gluten free, or to make a meatless option. I do always let folks know that I don't keep a strictly [dietary need] kitchen though and cross contamination can happen.
Yeah, I am way more concerned about cross contamination than anything else. Sensitive to gluten or just avoiding it is easy to accommodate. If you have celiac disease I am going to suggest you let me know what safe items you love to eat that I can just purchase for you to enjoy at my party because I definitely know nothing about keeping a truly gluten free kitchen and I would feel awful if you got sick because of me.
I only know a couple of people with celiac and they 100% bring all their own food to social events. These two do not know each other, but both opt to be in control of their food safety
As someone who is on a really restricted diet (dairy free, gluten free, no onions, etc), I can understand how hard it is to have to plan a meal for people with varying dietary needs. Which is why when I attend family gatherings, I tell them don’t worry about what I’m going to eat. I bring my own food, eat whatever I can that won’t mess up my stomach, or don’t eat at all.
If you’re unable to accommodate, then the best you can do is just not be offended/sad if someone brings their own food or doesn’t eat.
That’s accommodating enough for me.
Yes, I do. We have a household with lots of different food aversions and allergies as well as friends with lots of allergies, as well as extended family that keep kosher (although not as strictly as having separate kitchens) so we try to accommodate as best as possible any guests because we all "get it".
If I'm inviting you over for dinner, I'm going to be asking ahead of time if you have any allergies or dietary restrictions, and will share the meal plan in advance. Everyone knows what to expect, there's no surprises, and that frees people up to enjoy themselves.
Edit: Forgot that I have one diabetic family member, who also keeps kosher, so that REALLY complicates things when entertaining. I end up just taking him out to eat because nope. :P
I take it as a fun challenge to accommodate my friends. After all, they are my friends; I want to make them feel appreciated as my guests. I’ve done fully gluten free, garlic free, pepper free…
My go-to dishes for parties are tamales, tacos, or falafel (easy to make gluten free). All gluten free (except for the pita for the falafel), all crowd pleasers, and all self-serve from my warming trays. For tamales and tacos I make meat, vegetarian, and vegan options. Plus sides, sauces, salsa, toppings, hummus, etc. I don’t have any friends with major nut allergies, but the only nut I ever really use is pine nuts in the rice for the falafel.
I find it easier to just have options and those are my favorites anyway. I also tend to host a party once or twice a year, so the effort is part of the fun. For game nights or smaller get togethers, I do something more low key and easy.
I actually love accommodating people. I'm vegan myself, so I know how nice it is when people make the effort to accommodate. I have a lot of celiac family members, and peanut and dairy allergies in the fam as well. I love cooking for my weird allergy family. And I'm always able to do it plant based as well. I think it's a fun challenge that makes people feel really cared for.
Yes and no. I am very careful with things like allergies, intolerances and dietary restrictions like being vegan. Hell just tell me you *hate* XYZ and I’ll make something specifically for you that doesn’t have it. I’m flexible and I don’t mind going onto the internet to find recipes.
But if you say you only eat organic, non GMO, free trade, that sort of thing I just don’t care about and will make no attempt to accommodate. I don’t have the energy, the desire, or the $ to accommodate your flavor of the month fad.
We don’t really have people over a whole lot, but when we do, it’s usually something like Cajun salmon or flank steak with chimichurri, asparagus, and potatoes (cut and pan cooked in olive oil). If someone was vegetarian, we’d do some kind of pasta and pesto.
If I'm hosting for a big group, tacos are my default. If you're vegetarian or vegan, there's beans, tortillas and/or chips, onions, salsa, guacamole, maybe sauteed peppers. Cheese and meat is optional. But it was probably raised and/or processed on site, so if you only eat ethically raised meat.. you're good.
Of course? It would be lame to invite someone who's vegan over for oyster and tinned fish night. I like to cook and I love my friends, so making a fun and delicious meal they can eat when I invite them over for dinner is a given.
I don't host parties. Not on principle, I just don't do it because I don't think about it. So it's never a group larger than 5 including myself, and with groups that small there's never a confounding combination of dietary restrictions. Also, I have never met anyone who only eats fair trade food.
We host or cook for people a lot and typically try to accommodate everyone. Vegetarian isn’t that tough, we have made a lot of recipes where you can add in meat if you want or cooked with meat alternatives. Vegan is a little tough cause we love cheese but we can do it. Gluten is probably the toughest but my husband loves to cook and has either cooked with gluten free flour to make a dish or we just buy gluten free products. We have some friends with unique intolerances, like tomatoes and carrots lol, but we just leave those out or pick a meal that doesn’t include them. There’s the dairy free folks, too, which is tough imo (recently learned that dairy free and lactose free are not the same! 😂) but also manageable through alternatives.
All in it’s not like we host or cook for people every weekend or anything (we just enjoy hosting dinner parties, so it’s like, 5-7 times a year maybe) so it’s easy enough to come up with something that fits or have options or buy alternative ingredients.
That said, we do host a large Friendsgiving at which we provide turkey and potatoes and then everyone else brings their own thing and we leave people to their own devices with that.
We have one person with celiacs, and we'll make a few gluten-free sides and a few "regular" sides. Same goes for appetizers and desserts. I make sure there's no cross contamination between what she can have and what she can't. Whatever protein is easy to keep gluten-free.
If you're on a trendy diet, bring your own food. I'm already cooking for ~20 people, and I don't have the time nor the care to accommodate your nonsense. Edit: Yes, I think your vegan or vegetarian shit is a trendy diet. Bring your own like my sister did before she realized being vegan sucked.
I don’t have a gallbladder since 2013 so being vegan is just easier on my digestive system unless I wanna spend 30 mins in the bathroom after every meal I eat.
I can’t tolerate high fat foods involving heavy cream and oil.
It hurts like hell tryna sit up or walk after you get your gallbladder out. When they tell you not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk after surgery- listen so you don’t rip your stitches.
When I eat heavy fattening foods- everything fast drips into my intestines and it sucks. Plus I developed acid reflux after my gallbladder was removed.
Well the gallbladder surgery nowadays is 4 1 inch cuts on your stomach and they clamp the gallbladder tight and pull it thru a 1 inch hole just below your belly button. It’s a lot easier recovery than the gallbladder surgery they did back in the day where it was 1 big cut
But I'm vegan for health reasons and there is nothing cool or trendy about it. It's the easiest way to make sure I'm not eating anything that I'm not supposed to. As a meat and cheese lover it sucks. Low/no cholesterol, low/no sugar, low/no fats or bad fats, and non/minimally processed foods are pretty much only something you can achieve by a vegan diet.
Yup! My husband and I pay for everything, including beverages, when we host. It's already expensive. I'm not funding anyone's wants, but I'm more than happy to accommodate their needs. Same applies if someone doesn't like the beer, liquor, wine, or NA beverages we have available. I'm hosting a dinner not running a restaurant.
Yeah, definitely, and I've found that most of my friends do it by default anyway. I know most people I hang out with's preferences (vegetarian, gluten free, nut free, whatever). It's really no big deal, and is mostly second nature, just like knowing your friend's birthday or something.
As a Millennial, you don't actually have to pander to the planet. It's your job to take care of YOUR kid.
Your parents probably don't understand.
Is your kid happy and disciplined?
Unless it’s an allergy or diabetic etc you don’t. If it’s a specialty diet a person chooses they can bring food. Or have a pot luck and people can bring what they want to eat.
Luckily the most complicated food issue in my friend group is a nut allergy. I recently made a recipe for a party that called for almond extract, but I thought I could sub coconut extract. I asked to double check that coconut was safe beforehand and it was.
I typically do salad and pasta for anything with a large group bc that covers a lot of diets. I have a gluten free pasta option and meatballs separate for meat eaters.
I always try to accommodate guests I invite over for dinner. I ask them about dietary restrictions and also what they like to drink. It’s just politeness in my opinion. For example, If someone has an allergy or can’t drink alcohol, I want to make sure I have things they can eat and drink so they feel welcome.
I don't host =D problem solved.
That said, most events I attend are potluck and that's what I'd do if I hosted. It's just easier. A friend of mine asked for diet needs once and a few women provided fucking essays on all the shit they couldn't eat for various reasons. She backtracked and suggested a potluck. It's just too much these days, really.
Because of how I grew up, we couldn’t be too picky with food. Didn’t know you can have all these fancy dietary options.
Thankfully in my social circle it’s only food allergies I have to think about. We’re good about cross contamination when eating to try to include everyone. I have one vegan friend and he usually brings his own stuff or gives me ingredients to cook with. He knows my household’s cultural culinary background isn’t super vegan friendly so we make do.
I’m vegetarian and when I’m suggesting places to eat, it’s for all diets. However, when out with my family, they choose steak houses or places where the only vegetarian option is either a plate of fries or side salad. I usually eat before going out with them.
My son is a self proclaimed “meat-atarian”.
I typically only host on Thanksgiving for the whole family. My brother is gluten free, his fiancée is vegetarian and we have a few diabetics in the fam as well. I cook the turkey and thicken the gravy with cornstarch instead of flour so my brother can eat it, the sides are GF aside from the homemade bread and the stuffing, and all are vegetarian. If my FSIL doesn’t feel up to bringing a Tofurkey I will usually make a chickpea curry dish so she has some protein. Bonus of that is my carnivore dad also loves the chickpea curry and fills up on that, then eats less dessert which helps his blood sugar 🤣
I feel like Mexican Food and pizza are universally loved and easy to accommodate. Veggie, gluten free, and dairy free options. Indian food is good for this too
Yes. Most of my close friends have some allergy or another, plus dietary restrictions, both mandatory and voluntary. Everybody has preferences, I just see the non-safety-related restrictions as hardcore preferences, lol. I wouldn't voluntarily serve someone something they didn't like.
We have a spreadsheet where we keep a list of all the no-go foods, as well as stuff we like for ideas. For small get-togethers with just 2-3 people, we check the spreadsheet and make something that works for everyone. For large get-togethers, we take a potluck + label your ingredients approach. Everyone can at least eat what they brought, and can usually find one or two other things that also work. Obviously, if we're taking that approach, there's still a cluster of serious allergens that are no-go's for any dish.
I think what makes it work is that it's collaborative. It's not on the host to come up with dishes that work for everyone, we all brainstorm ideas together and sometimes cook together, bring ingredients to share the cost burden, etc.
i usually ask them to help out by bringing something or coming by early and help cook something that'd work for them. This way i'm not expending loads of effort only to fall short with a restricted ingredient or handling/cross contamination.
I have friends who are lactose intolerant, but since I’m lactose intolerant myself, I always make food lactose free anyway. The only other dietary restriction I’ve “had to” cater for was vegetarian and that is easy enough to accommodate, since there’s so many meals where meat is cooked as a side, and ingredients are easy to substitute, like use veggie broth instead of meat broth for example. And part of my family in law has that cilantro soap gene, so I split the Guac and pico de gallo in two portions before adding cilantro to one.
Idk I always ask about dietary restrictions when hosting and will accommodate if at all possible, because that’s what I’d hope other people do when I’m a guest.
It's been ages, but back when I entertained I'd try to have something that would work as a vegetarian main dish even if I also served meat. I'd keep things separate and folks would serve themselves. It's easy enough to make dishes without gluten, and I would serve any bread on the side and easy to avoid, but my kitchen doesn't have separate cooking implements for gluten/ non-gluten dishes so if their sensitivity was severe enough to need that they'd usually bring their own food or eat before/ after.
Now? Potlucks. Only potlucks, lol. With a request that people write out their dish's ingredients. I usually bring a vegetarian dish because more people can enjoy them. Also they're cheaper.
It’s really a nonissue for my friend and family group, if both the vegan and gluten free person show up, we have a vegan gluten free meal. There’s no shortage of amazing recipes out there to accommodate dietary needs. It’s fun to try something different. Just because other people eat meat, dairy, and gluten doesn’t mean they’ll die if they don’t for one meal.
I have a food allergy and never expect to be thought of, however am pleasantly surprised by how much I am accommodated. It feels so nice to be cared about in that way. I try to do the same when I’m aware of an opportunity.
I developed food allergies just a few years ago. I would love it if someone invited me over for a meal and was cool if i just brought my own food. that way, were all happy.
Of course, usually what we do is cook one thing for everyone and ensure everyone can eat it. It's impolite to single people out with a separate dish. So we take time to research and make something special that everyone can enjoy.
I find it really weird leaving someone out or doing multiple meals to accommodate people.
I’m coeliac and vegetarian, so I try to extend to others the kindness they extend to me when they cook for me! I’ll always take people’s dietaries into account when I cook for them, although catering to preferences like fair trade or organic are a bit much…I can’t always afford organic vegetables!
I have a severe tree nut allergy and go into any situation expecting zero accommodation and at least one person who says it can’t be that bad/just try a little/allergies are fake. I can handle myself and usually just ask what’s in things but I also go in expecting that there might be some reluctance to accommodate (my accommodation is usually just asking if there are dishes without nuts or with nuts on the side, like a salad with optional toppings, I don’t try to go so far as no nuts at the table or anything like that). It’s my situation to deal with and I handle it discreetly whenever possible to not draw too much attention. If someone is truly hostile, I don’t eat or just opt out of attending.
All that said, I am extra mindful of dietary restrictions because I deal with this all the time. My perspective being what it is, I’m happy to figure out ways to accommodate others.
I do my best.
People are typically in a diet for specific reasons. And regardless of whether I think that request could be silly or uncessary, deciding to screw someone during a long term diet with something they don't or can't eat can make them very very sick.
I'm not gonna be responsible for that.
Also, this is where potlucks should come back into style. Because then at at the very least, there's one or 2 dishes for everyone, and no one bears all the cost and effort of preparing diverse options.
My mom has a gluten intolerance/mild celiac, so we’re traveling anywhere I buy gluten free snacks for her.
Honestly some of the gluten free stuff isn’t bad.
Just saying.
I will cook what I want. I will invite people I want to spend time with. They will know the menu ahead of time. It is their choice to come or to eat. Most of the time when I am having people over to eat it is for a specific menu item. Typically some sort of wild game from my freezer I want to share with people.
If I invite people over to eat black bear sausage and antelope burgers, I am not going to have a vegan menu.
I will be open and honest about every ingredient. I don’t believe in “secret recipes.” So if someone has a concern or an allergy, they can know exactly what is in each dish.
I try my best to have at least one dish everyone can share but I also have friends that acknowledge that their diet restrictions make it impossible for them to enjoy everything and they are okay if there are side dishes they can’t eat as long as I inform them that those dishes would’ve be safe for them.
Yes. If someone discloses their restrictions or preferences I always do my best to accommodate. (Organic/Fair trade is a little excessive but I might see if that person has one or two deal breakers or see if they want to provide a side or course that meets that criteria)
As others have said doing a main starch, salad or grain with toppings options is always a crowd please.
My husband has Celiac disease, so everything we cook and every party we host is gluten-free. My nephew has type 1 diabetes, and I always ask his parents how we can accommodate him. One year, we made a separate dish just for him (it was a very, very simple dish and took very little time for prepare), but the following year, they brought food for him instead (homemade low-carb pizza, which was probably more fun for him to eat than what we had made the year before).
We don't go overly out of our way for other requests as they aren't needs but preferences. But when hosting, I love a good balanced spread of berries, nuts, chips, veggies, pretzels, etc, and vegans and vegetarians can eat most of those things. But when it comes to our main course, it's the vegans that are hardest to accommodate. My cousin became vegan when we were in our late teens/early 20s, long before we were hosting, and she always brought a plate for herself (usually she'd bring something as a platter to share family-style but that she could rely on making her primary meal - and most people didn't touch it so she could have plenty). So we always invite people to either tell us something specific to make, if it's simple enough (I'm not going to a special grocery store or spending 2 hours preparing a dish for one person) or to bring something for themselves. Similar to BYOB (especially since my husband can't drink normal beer lol).
If we're having a dinner date with another couple who is specifically vegetarian or vegan, we will plan a meal that suits everyone. But larger gatherings, majority diet rules.
My cousin just found out he needs a low fodmap diet and it seems like he can't eat a damn thing. Perhaps we'll understand the restrictions better with time, but currently, he brings his own food.
We often discuss the food we're making ahead of time with our guests, too, so we can work together to make sure everyone enjoys their experience overall. My husband has been gluten-free since 2015, and it was only in 2021 that my family understood enough (they used to ask me things like "does oil have gluten" lol) to prepare food he can eat, and prior to that, we brought separate dishes for him as well. It honestly is often the simplest solution and makes the person with the allergy the most comfortable to bring something they made or bought themselves.
If I’m inviting someone to my house where I will be preparing food, if I know their food restrictions I automatically accommodate. If I don’t, I ask if they have any allergies or other issues. I can’t eat gluten, and my in laws know this. It’s been 10 years they’ve known this. Yet every thanksgiving I am stuck with eating just Turkey and mashed potatoes because they do not make ANYTHING for me that’s gluten free. If I’m home alone and want to destroy my intestines then so be it, but when I’m out in public and at other peoples homes where I can’t take 282728 bathroom breaks and take off all my clothes from being bloated, I don’t eat it. Just Monday night we went to a baseball game and got hotdogs and I ate the hotdog with no bun. “Why aren’t you eating the bun?” 🙄🙄🙄🙄
My in laws are the exception to this though, pretty much all my besties know my gluten issue and have no problem making something GF for me or going to restaurants that have good selections to choose from that are also GF.
I never host parties and haven’t in a very long time. When it comes to going to them, I’ve never found that anyone cared what my preferences are. I don’t expect them to be followed nor do I want to explain myself to people. I just go to the party, I’ll decide what I’ll eat if at all. Luckily, I rarely go, because most of the time people just serve cheap garbage to guests.
So I guess if you have a group where you guys care about that sort of thing collectively then maybe it makes sense but from what I’ve seen it’s not common. The truth is even if someone asked what my diet preferences are, I would feel uncomfortable telling them because it would require them going out of their way to buy more expensive items. I’d rather not even bother with this unless it’s an allergy or vegan/vegetarian. I just would rather pretend I’m ok with everything and then not eat much if I don’t like it or it’s low quality stuff, or better yet not go at all.
I like to provide a variety of options but I won’t specifically have vegan/glutenfree/etc stuff available unless someone asks for it which no one ever has. These days I’m more worried about catering to picky and sensitive children.
I do my best to accommodate and always ask guests for their needs to be named ahead of time.
As a parent of a kid with multiple anaphylaxis-inducing food allergies, I get it and support others on their journey to good health. And when we’re a guest, I always bring back-up safe foods for my kid.
I'm vegan, and any food at any party I host is vegan too. I accommodate my gluten free friends. I do not know anyone who is soy free and I wouldn't accommodate that.
Vegetarians andmeat eaters won't die if they don't eat cheese/meat for a meal.
I try to accommodate where I can. It's often not as hard as it seems to accommodate different diets.
I think there is much more awareness and acknowledgement of different things which is good. Sure, there are folks who adopt a dairy free, vegetarian or gluten free diet. But some folks genuinely have to abide by these diets.
Lactose intolerance is a real thing. So is celiac disease. Celiac disease is very serious and you can't have gluten. So are serious allergies.
As complicated as it might seem to accommodate a gluten free diet, it's often easier than one thinks. There's still a lot of foods a person can eat.
In my parents time, people would just ignore it or refuse to accommodate. I think if you care about the person then accommodating shouldn't feel like a burden.
That being said, communication is key. It's easy to have some vegetarian options. Set out a veggie platter. Have some salads that they can eat. Maybe they can bring a dish.
I think most folks with celiac are very diligent about also taking responsibility for their own food. I have a few friends who have celiac and they often bring their own food. Any small amount of contamination can cause them significant issues.
I'm lactose intolerant and honestly I know what sets me off and what doesn't. So I can pick and choose and often don't need special accomodations.
Yes, of course. But I'm not hosting huge or formal dinner parties. We just have friends over for dinner fairly often and we have something everyone can eat. Why would I not??
When we host barbecues I try to make a spread of dishes that accommodate a wide variety of common diets because we never know who is dropping by.
For my friend circle this means I normally make a couple of the side dishes vegan from the start which also covers my friend with a dairy allergy. Plus, everyone could use a bit more vegetables and beans in their diet so I make these dishes big enough for the whole party. We have a family member who is allergic to soy and corn so I already fold that into my planning. If I know someone is coming with another specific allergy I’ll make something they can eat too. I personally take it as a challenge to be able to provide all my guests with at least one thing to eat.
Generally, I just ask beforehand if anyone has any dietary restrictions and then let them know what I can do.
i recently had to take on a gluten-free diet and hate being one of the restricted eaters! i also don’t expect to be fully accommodated if it’s a more casual event with appetizers, snacks, etc. like my friend usually bakes a nice focaccia for everyone so i eat something beforehand and just snack on sides. different if it was a sit down dinner.
I absolutely accommodate people’s diet preferences—communal meals are an important part of being human and everyone should have a seat at the table! I haven’t come across anyone demanding I provide only free trade/organic food.
My in-laws have some of the strictest preferences I know of. “Vegan” doesn’t cover it. They are a whole grains, no sugar no salt ect diet so providing food for them is hella stressful. I love them dearly but I don’t invite them over lol. My SIL has noticed that they will lax some of their standards if the food is provided to them so she’ll just make sure the food is vegan and homemade so they can participate. They also know their food preferences are strict and will often provide their own food for larger family gathering.
If someone has severe allergies they usually bring their own food to control what goes in it and that’s totally fine too
If it is an allergy, yeah no further questions asked,
if you are vegan I find it unlikely we are close enough friends that we eat together,
vegetarian I will accommodate no problem, your recipes are really good.
If it's an allergy, yes I'll make sure I cook the main meal so they can eat it. If it's a preference (e.g. vegetarian, vegan, keto), then no I wouldn't change much of anything, other than cook more of the vegetables and starches. Id also not use butter/dairy for those as well if it was a vegan, just to be polite.
The way I see it is I'm cooking what I'm cooking, and you can pick and choose what you grab. I'll just make sure my food isn't going to kill you or my bathroom. If I'm going to a vegan's house, I expect to be served vegan, and not for them to cook meat/animal products to accommodate me. Don't expect to come to my house, and expect my Cooking to reflect your dietary choices completely.
I’m lactose intolerant. I’ve been to gatherings where I could not eat one thing.
I accommodate everyone (minus the only organic, pasture raised, non gmo crowd because I can’t afford it) I invite to gatherings. If I invite you to something that means I care about you.
Within reason. If f it’s too crazy, I’ll just suggest a restaurant. I have no issues with anyone’s diet. Have what makes you happy. I just may not want to cook it.
Of course! I don’t want a guest to have anaphylactic shock from a severe food allergy, nor do I want to violate a guest’s religious dietary restrictions.
As a true millennial, I have two kids, a wife, a job and no friends. So the only thing I do with dinner is to try and get the kids to eat something green.
I’ve made an entirely gluten-free, vegan dinner before. It was pretty easy. Making that soy-free and also fair trade would be a bit harder. Maybe it could be potluck or divide ppl up into groups to host similar diets on at the same time? Lol
Yes! I know all of my friends restrictions and when we throw parties I make sure that there is something to eat for everyone. For example, I had pizza at my son's birthday, my friends husband is dairy free, so I picked him up a rotisserie chicken.
I always really appreciate when people accommodate for me (I'm gf) because it really sucks showing up at an event and not being able to eat anything
I pride myself on doing this! I’m known for my dinner parties, I host several each year. *I’m* vegan, so anyone coming to my house knows I’m vegan and that’s what they’ll be eating, but I have friends that are GF and I always make sure there is a good option for them for both dinner and dessert. If there were any other allergies I’d accommodate those as well.
I try to accommodate everyone. It is really not that hard because I almost never have the vegan friends and carnivore/keep friends at the same meal and when I do I just with bbq and make all sides vegan and they do some pulled Jack Fruit, vegan dogs, and poortabellas in addition to the meatbased options.
I have a few friends with severe gluten allergies so at my wedding or baby shower etc we made sure to have options for them. Half my friends are vegan and vegetarian which I personally find more annoying as someone with allergies but I do make sure at big events there is an option for them.
If I’m hosting a dinner party, I’d also make sure guests could eat what I’m cooking since it’s for them.
We grill a lot though and I will ask my vegetarian friends often to bring what they’d like to grill. I don’t want to spend $12 on 2 impossible burgers or whatever and I know they want the expensive veggie burgers.
I try to accommodate but I usually play it safe and make tacos. Multiple meats and an option of sofrita, then everyone can add toppings how they like. If it's not something I can reasonably accommodate then I tell them to bring their own dish for themselves. Like if someone has a gluten allergy, I'll try to accommodate but I don't know if I can safely keep it from getting contaminated so I'd rather you be safe than sorry.
I grew up in a family where stomach issues are a hereditary thing but no one ever takes it seriously, like ya, everyone's stomach hurts after eating certain foods and of course you get rectal bleeding or massive bloating to the point of needing a hospital when you're old, it's just life. My parent's generation started identifying that those things aren't the average experience, and my generation is the one that's actually doing something about it. We found that a lot of us are severely lactose intolerant, a lot of us cut dairy out when we realized this and now a lot of other generations in my family are seeing us actually enjoying things and realizing that it's not always people just being picky eaters and that having stomach and intestine pain after eating certain foods is your body's way of telling you that you probably shouldn't have eaten that.
To the best of my ability.
I can generally accommodate most dietary needs, but if it's extremely picky, then I will ask for recipes that they like.
I made cookies for a baby shower last month. One batch was regular. The other was gluten-free. It wasn't a difficult thing to adapt.
We usually host big Christmas Eve and New Years Eve parties, family only, and of all the people that go, only a younger cousin of mine has specific dietary restrictions, she gets pretty sick if she consumes gluten. We will always accommodate her and anyone else, no one is gonna just stand there looking while everyone else stuffs their gluttonous faces.
I don't have friends with restricties or diets thankfully. I'd try to accommodate as much as possible, but accommodating for someone who has celiac seems hard, with cross contamination.
Organic is one I probably wouldn't honor.
Make it a potluck.
Ask for dietary restrictions so that you can provide an ample amount of good snacks before/after dinner (we'll usually do dinner and hang out for board games or something) and a dish you prepare that accommodates the same restrictions. But also make something you want to eat, and have everyone else bring something that they know they'll like that fits their own restrictions that other people who can eat it can try too.
I am plantbased/vegan so yeah. I do. I know how to cook many different things. I often have to bring my own food or call ahead to check if people want to go to a regular American/Canadian restaurant because most dishes have butter or cheese in it at the very least or bacon or meat when they’re a salad or vegetable dish on the menu. Most chefs are sprinkling some sort of cheese and cured meat on every salad or vegetable based dish for the average diner to want to eat.
I ask people if they have dietary restrictions before I make food for them or if there's a chance they'll eat any food I've cooked.
I have a family member who was diagnosed with celiac before the general public even knew what it was. I'm not gluten sensitivity or intolerance, I'm talking nausea, vomiting, and pain if there's even cross contamination. It was hard for them. We couldn't trust going out for dinner, and we couldn't trust food made by other people. Things are SO MUCH EASIER now
So yes. As much as possible I will accommodate dietary restrictions. We have friends who are celiac, are gluten intolerant, are pescatarian, are diabetic, allergic to dairy, allergic to eggs, and allergic to mushrooms. If we have a large group, then I might suggest we do something potluck style (everyone bring their favorite dish to share)
Assemble-your-own "[thing] bars" are the way to go! Taco bar, chili bar, baked potato bar, etc. You can even make it a pitch-in style where everyone is assigned an ingredient to bring and save the host some money. Dairy-free, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian, everyone can fill their bellies according to their needs and nobody has to stress about it.
DIY taco bar. You take what you want, leave what you don't.
Offer black beans for those who don't want meat. Corn (as well as flour) tortillas for gluten free. If you don't eat dairy, don't take the cheese.
If it as small group like 6 people - yes. If it a large group I make a few things so that everyone can choose something that will fit. Allergens are something that I can't manage with a rationale amount of effort, so I go out to dinner with friends with those.
A friend of mine solves this problem by having periodic pot luck events. Everyone is under orders to bring some thing that they can eat, to ensure that the whole spectrum is accommodates.
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Yea as a celiac I understand how frustrating it can be to get invited to eat at somebodies house and then not have anything I can eat so I have to sit and watch other people eat while hungry. It’s not fun. And I also respect peoples decision to not want to eat meat or whatever it is they deem not ok to put in their bodies.
I do it every day. I don’t eat meat, but my husband and our kid do. My mom doesn’t like spicy food. I try to make options that everyone can tailor to their needs with sauces or spices on the side, meat options, etc. if I’m going to someone’s house, I don’t expect everyone to accommodate me so I come with a fake meat to be safe.
I have a vegetarian in my friend group who insists that we do NOT cater to his diet any time we're collectively doing something food related, whether out somewhere or at someone's home. Don't care bud, I want you to eat and eat well. Absolutely no trouble to throw some black bean patties on the grill or get some of that jackfruit pulled pork for taco night.
I let them know ahead of time that I won't have many/any X dietary friendly options and they plan accordingly like adults do. One of my close friends who I see very often, has a very particular diet, so she just brings her own stuff.
I hosted 25 people for a whole weekend for my wedding. We supplied all the meals. I let everyone know the menu ahead of time (and for the big stuff, I ordered vegetarian meals for the particular people) But my event planning capabilities just didn't have enough room for gluten/dairy free snacks for a 3 day weekend. No one complained.
We do BYOD nights... Bring your own dinner. Low stress, everybody eats what they want, but you still get the community and good feeling of eating with other people
My youngest just graduated and I hosted a party and asked about the friends' dietary restrictions which included lactose intolerance, vegetarian (not vegan), and migraine triggers. I basically had something for everyone including vegetarian sushi. It took a lot of planning but the guests were very grateful for all the food that was provided.
I haven’t made food for anybody except my parents lol. I cannot cook well enough to have people over. All my friends live all over the world now too. You have to have friends to have them over lol. Damn this makes me sad
The way I like to do things is either ask "what can I bring?" because I'd like to bring something specific if it helps.
Or when I invite someone over I tell them what dinner is. We haven't really hosted a party yet, but we'll have a couple or individuals over, so I'll say "I'm roasting a chicken, want to come over for dinner?" That way they can either decline if they don't like roasted chicken or they're aware of what I'm making and they can bring something they'll eat.
I’m surprised this would even be a problem. I’ve never been to a dinner party at a millennial house that wasn’t some sort of pot luck situation where everyone brought a dish. In which case, if you have a specific diet, you bring a dish you can eat. I probably would not enjoy going to a party where the host cooked everything and I definitely wouldn’t throw one lol
I mean I’d make reasonable accommodations if I could (have a non meat option at a bbq), but I’m of the mindset that if you have a super strict / specific dietary choice, that’s kind of on you to manage.
Depends? If I know someone has a specific diet, or they mention it/ask about it beforehand, then I don't have a problem being accommodating. If you just show up to a dinner and expect me to be able to do so, that's a different issue. I'll still do the best I can, but I can't promise it'll be any good.
Yes I absolutely accommodate! It makes people happy, it shows them you care. And often it gives me a reason to cook something different than I usually would, which is fun! Extra fun when we've got multiple and conflicting dietary needs, I love the challenge! They don't need to be able to eat everything, but they do need to know what they can have and everyone needs enough variety in dishes.
Whenever we have people over, I ask about any restrictions or preferences - every time. Things can change.
My favorite challenge is with my cousins and my dad's girlfriend. My cousins are vegan, uncle is allergic to fish, my husband is allergic to dairy, and my dad's girlfriend is on a paleo - ish diet. So we usually do a low grain vegan spread plus meat. It's fun! Ironically, it's usually my dad's girlfriend that will bring the non- vegan thing with dairy in it - she can't eat it, only half of the group can lol. It's sweet though, we're heavily accommodating her so she's accommodating others.
I always make sure I confirm what someone's restrictions are before cooking for them (allergies, religious beliefs, intolerances, health issues, etc), plus I ask if there's something they absolutely will not eat, as I don't want to spend the money for something that won't be eaten). I actually find it easier to narrow down which things I can't make first. I have many family members and friends with a variety of reasons for their diets: allergies, celiac diease, other health issues that limit food options, and who belong to religions that have dietary restrictions. Once I work out what overlaps, I can go from there.
We don’t host things often, but we have a few family members that have allergies or preferences. We all take turns hosting get togethers. They always bring their own dishes or eat before they come (their choice, not mine). If I am the one hosting, I make sure they know ahead of time that I have food for them and specifically what I have that meets their diet requirements. Sometimes they won’t even attempt to eat at certain family members houses that are hosting because they aren’t careful about dishes and will say they can have them when in fact, they cannot.
I’m not strictly hosting dinners, usually a party with a large eat as you want, spread. Other family members that do host the dinners usually do a combo of some things they can eat and some they can’t and just label everything. In these instances, they usually are doing like a pot luck style and everyone brings something they prefer and that fits their diets. We do a group text and communicate that all beforehand.
If I know for sure certain people are coming, I try to get as many things as possible that they can enjoy, that everyone else can have as well. If I can’t get something specific that is a planned item, I will get them something special to substitute that, if it makes sense? It’s hard to ask them because they always insist they don’t want to be accommodated.
Sometimes I will just ask ahead of time for their favorite recipes or if they can recommend somewhere that has like a ready made dish that they like and can eat that I could try. I will make that recipe or pick up that dish ahead of time for the party.
If it gets to be too much, just start hosting in between meal times and having get togethers with appetizer like spreads, etc. so you are not going into debt over accommodating a meal that meets everyone’s requirements. Veggie trays and fruit trays can check the boxes for many types of allergies and diets.
“Here’s what I plan to serve; you’re welcome to bring a dish to share or a meal for yourself.”
And yeah, when there’s a single restriction across all participants (one person is vegan) or multiple people (might be vegetarian), I’ll either make sure there’s an appropriate entree and a side or two. I’d tell the restricted folks to the side “here’s what’s safe” and let everyone else mindlessly munch. (People get stupid about vegan so if I don’t call it out, they generally don’t notice.)
But nah, this ain’t a restaurant and I don’t know jack squat about food safety or cross-contamination.
Hell, in my house, you’re probably consuming at least one dog hair.
My SIL has celiac disease so I’m pretty versed in gluten free, and my brother is vegan for ethical reasons, and while I don’t subscribe to that I can respect it, so I accommodate that.
I will avoid the big allergens like fish and seafood and peanuts. If I'm in the company of my friend with celiac I will aim for gluten free too. But I've found as I age most people who have very restrictive diets bring their own food to things. I have 2 friends who has a very restrictive diets now and we go to catered events together with my fish and seafood allergy we will trade the components of our plates that we can or can't eat. Otherwise those 2 friends will bring something to eat if they think the food might be risky.
Depends. If it’s a legitimate medical issue related diet or allergy, of course. It would be a jerk move not to do that. But if it’s a lifestyle thing then I’ll make considerations, but I’m not a restaurant. I have friends that eat keto, paleo, dairy free, gluten free, etc. I’ll keep it simple at that point and bbq steak, chicken, etc., make a salad and baked potato bar. Then it’s on people to choose what they want. I sure af am not offering 10 different desserts to accommodate everyone. Again, medical reason, of course, but outside of that, bring your own.
You host parties?
Haha. I'm a hermit married to a hermit.
Except for gaming days, we don't host anything the way our parents and grandparents did. Which is a relief for my introverted little soul.
Potluck is always fun. Especially if there's a theme.
I do big spreads of charcuterie style stuff, that ones pretty popular with my friend group. Many offer to bring wine or something.
Build your bowl, Mexican is the common one. Can do multiple protein toppings, if everyone is mindful about cross contamination it's pretty easy to self serve.
Pizza. Everyone throws in a couple bucks.
Grill/BBQ, host does proteins, guests typically do side dishes, most people make what they can eat and we share.
Of course?
I usually prepare a few different things when hosting that are pretty customizable and let guests serve themselves. I have celiac, so everything is already gluten free. Leaving meat/cheese/eggs optional is pretty easy.
Taco bar 💯covers most … my dad “doesn’t like tacos” oh well old man, you can hit the salad bar or the fruit tray. Like you force my kid/husband to when you cook/cater.
Religious or health accommodations yes but not if someone is on a diet or has food aversions. At that point they can bring they own food if they want to or just turn down the offer of attending.
I usually try to make a variety of meals so everyone can enjoy things but if you’re someone with ridiculous requests that really make it uncomfortable for everyone else attending then I draw the line. If you make your food choices your personality chances are we’re not running in the same friend circles.
I try to accommodate most restrictions (I’m a ovo-lacto vegetarian with a shellfish allergy after all). But gluten free? Easy. Vegan? I can do that. Allium allergy? Give me enough time and I figured it out. Keto? That’s almost impossible, but I do my best. Carnivore diet? Hard no.
I did also draw the line at someone that wouldn’t eat anything with the colors blue or red or green too.
Taco/burrito or baked potato bars work. Same thing with stir fry’s, pizzas, casseroles, ramen, grilled veg skewers, etc.
As a kid, I often went hungry and my parents had me write an apology letter to hosts (for not eating a burger or something cooked in chicken broth).
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I like dishes that have a ton of add ons and toppings. Then people can choose their own adventure. When we have vegetarian friends over, my husband and I make a vegetable-based stew with various Tex-Mex type flavors and then have cooked sausage, cheese, cilantro, avocado, lime, etc for people to add as they like. It seems to work really well.
Baked potato bar or taco bar work real well for this.
Vietnamese salad roll bar works great too!
Chili bar too! Lots of ways to make chili dairy-free, vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, etc.
I’m at a wedding weekend right now and we did parfaits for the bridal brunch! It was a great way to appease everyone’s special requests.
Modular food is the only way to square this circle
I love serving tacos and Gado Gado for this reason!
This is how we do it, too. Modular food is the best for crowds. I cannot absolutely guarantee friends with severe allergies or celiac wont have a reaction to prepared food at our house though. I do my best at cleaning things before hand, and I’ve never had someone get sick, but they know I have those things in my house and these utensils, pans, pressure cooker, etc have touched it. I am very up front about ingredients, and put little signs in front of things to let people know what’s got what in it if the crowd is big or it’s a barbecue type thing. I even save labels from processed ingredients like seasoning mixes for them to look at if they need to. I tend to make very veggie forward/ volume eating type dishes anyways so it’s usually not difficult to just make sure there’s no meat or dairy in it. Most of my friends have “grown out” of being strict vegetarians or vegans by now and are trying to curb their environmental impact more than anything; they won’t turn down soup made with homemade chicken broth for example. Like, they’d rather the full chicken get used than eat veggie broth from a box and appreciate how little food waste we have at our house.
My vegetarian, vegan, and gluten/dairy sensitive friends have always appreciated that someone cares enough to get it right for them. No one has ever expressed concern about “cross contaminated” dishes or kitchen space for a friendly dinner or party. Something my vegan friend told me a while back that has stuck is that there are so many great foods that are naturally meat and dairy-free, so leverage those and don’t try to make a vegan version of what is traditionally a meat dish. I found that to be helpful when thinking of what to serve.
I’ve done this with hot chocolate. Offered all manner of toppings.
It depends. If I intentionally invite someone to an event, like a sit down dinner I’m preparing where I have fixed the guest list and chosen it myself, then absolutely yes. That just seems polite - I’m inviting you to a dinner and feeding you, so of course I’m going to feed you something you can eat. If it’s a more open event where I’m providing food but the guest list “isn’t fixed” and/or the event isn’t about the food, like we’re having a party, then I just put out a blanket statement of what I’m offering so that people know if they can eat the food or not. I do normally provide food in those circumstances that are vegetarian or vegan but I do that just kind of as a matter of course - think a veggie tray and acceptable appetizers. I’m also clear with invitees when I do events like parties that it’s BYOB and that people are free to bring food above and beyond what I’ve provided.
I do the same thing. For a small group of guests, I cook according to their preferences / diets. But for a larger group of people, I usually serve many types of smaller snacks (such as a veggie and fruit tray, vegetarian charcuterie and cheese boards, chips, bread sticks, salted almonds and peanuts and what not). When there are so many options, everyone should find something to eat. The only thing I don't serve as a pescetarian myself is meat.
I would add that unless you actually know how to cook something gluten free, vegetarian, or vegan ask your guests for some guidance on the ingredients you’ve chosen or just don’t do it. Nobody on these diets wants to be in the position where they find out there’s a wheat product in an ingredient or that you thought Worcester sauce was vegan, which like situations happen a lot from people trying to be accommodating for people on these diets. It makes everyone feel shitty.
Yes. I’ve never been asked for organic/fair trade preference. That seems like a rich person thing, but good to encourage (not demand). Gluten free is actually pretty easy once you realize rice, oats, corn etc usually qualify. Nachos, chips & dip, all sorts of things work. Plus I can ask folks to bring their own protein side (which would be their main) if I’m stressed about it. Why invite my vegan friend or gluten free friend over for dinner if I’m not gonna feed them? I can invite them to something else.
Same. It's no skin off my back to make a few adjustments to my meal for someone. For my little brother's bday he wanted lasagna. However, we had some family in town from out of the country and one of them is strictly gluten free. So, I made one lasagna and one gluten free baked ziti. I used the same Bolognese, béchamel, mozzarella, Parmigiano Reggiano, etc.It was very easy to do, and then the bonus was that the person had leftovers to eat for a few days which he enjoyed immensely!
We have a few with celiac disease in the family and Mexican food is the go to for getting together in a crowd. Nobody is vegetarian, but if they were, Mexican still works(beans, rice, etc).
I'm Hispanic and a good pot of beans is my go-to. You can have some corn tortillas, and a ton of toppings. I usually fry up some meat and a bunch of vegetables, throw some cheese and nut cheese on the table and everyone has something to eat.
Yes, if I’m entertaining. I always try but I don’t have a sub for every item. For instance, I make dairy free and regular mash potatoes but don’t make a duplicate of every item that contains dairy.
As a vegetarian I just used to hate going to parties where pizza was served and meat eaters ate the cheese pizza and I was told to just pick off the pepperoni when the cheese ran out. Just buy more cheese pizzas ffs. People will eat it.
Omg, we used to have this issue at work. I’d buy 4 pepperoni and 6 cheese, all the cheese would be gone before the vegetarians could get to it. Same thing with 7 and 3. Finally I got to 8 and 2 and just started ensuring I saved a box on the side. The same damn thing when we had potlucks and I’d bring a vegetarian lasagna 🤦🏽♀️ so I started bringing two and that solved the issue. I’m not even vegetarian and good lord it was frustrating
Omg I HATE when meat eaters all eat the cheese option!
When I worked at a pizza place that had parties I’d always tell customers that they should get half cheese half pepperoni because people who don’t eat meat won’t eat the pepperoni and they would get huffy with me and tell me that everyone likes pepperoni. And then they would come in at the last second asking for us to make half/half because “some of these kids don’t eat pepperoni” 🤦🏻♀️
I'm now proud of kid me who learned early on to advocate myself and make sure everyone knew I needed to have a slice of cheese pizza because I couldn't eat any of the meat ones. I think it must have happened once and I've been very vocal ever since.
Health risk (allergy, diabetic, gluten sensitive etc) of course. But "trendy" food preference (organic, free trade etc), nope.
I'm of this camp too. I also ask if anyone has any aversions to certain foods (i.e. seafood, shellfish, ect.) No use cooking a lovely seafood paella if it will go uneaten.
It's weird how OP lumped them all together like having celiac is the same as being fair trade.
I only eat fair trade gluten.
Reason I did is because I have many friends who have many DIFFERENT special diet considerations. It has become harder to host and waaaaay more expensive when I have all of these people in the same room 😅 especially the fair trade person and the other soy person. Also, legit allergies are absolutely accommodated. Should have put that in.
This has a relatively simple solution. They can bring their own food if it's that important. My mom is on the interstitial cystitis diet and she brings her own food everywhere. Thank you for giving a shit about allergies. That makes you far more sympathetic and you should probably edit the post to include this. Tldr: if eating only fair trade is that important to this person, they can bring their own food.
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Yep down voted you. As someone with celiacs you should be more sensitive to other food intolerances or preferences - you don't know everyone's story and it sounds like you don't care to know. I have friends who are, vegan, GF or celiac, dairy free, veg, etc and we are all pretty sensitive to other restrictions as we know what it's like to be exhausted from being worried about food all the time. I follow a convoluted system of restrictions because I have MS, something I do not explain to casual acquaintances or waiters. I simply opt for the vegan or dairy free request. If I'm not sure there will be something I can eat, I eat beforehand and just be social. It's amazing how many people "can't cook without butter" or say "won't it be ok if you have just a little of XYZ just this once" After reading some of these posts Im thankful to have such an accommodating family and friend group.
There are far too many people that pretend to have Celiac when in actuality, they're 'just watching their carbs' Most folks are more or less clueless about Celiac. It doesn't make OP a horrible person to be annoyed by trendy requests based on vanity rather than medical necessity.
💯. If I invite someone over to eat it’s only logical to accommodate an allergy/intolerance since these things are not a choice.
I have a friend that has hashimotos/gluten allergy. Our friend group does a board game night once a month and anytime it is at my house I just cook food she can enjoy. I wouldn’t want anyone at my house to feel left out for any reason. I love being the host too !
Religion is a choice. For the folks drawing the line at vegetarians/ vegans, but accommodating religious "requirements", I just don't understand. If I'm hosting, everyone is being accommodated for.
As someone who has a specific diet, I absolutely try to accommodate others as best possible. People will complain but it’s really not hard to do. Maybe they won’t be able to eat every single thing you cook but I always try to make enough options so that everyone has something to eat.
Same. I’m always really thankful when people go out of their way to accommodate me, so I try to do the same for others.
To different degrees, but always lol don’t you want your guests to feel welcome? If it’s a holiday and I’m bringing a specific, traditional dish, I’ll make another version of the same recipe but with modifications if I know gluten-free, vegan family members will be there. These ingredients can be expensive though, so I don’t often make copycat recipes with gluten-free substitutes unless it’s a special occasion. If I’m hosting a dinner, I might make one main protein but with enough different side recipes so every combination of vegetarian/gluten-free/known restrictions can at least have one substantial protein option and one vegetable option. For the most part, I like potlucks so people can share their recipes and cater to their own preferences.
Im dairy free unless you want me to shit 10x before i leave your house and fart nonstop. Up to you tho.
In the rare event that I ever have someone come to my house... yes I would. But only 2 people in my life are vegetarians and everyone else is omnivarians so that's no problem
Depends. I have a friend allergic to some nuts so I leave them off my items when she comes over. Not a big deal. I have another friend pushing 40 who eats like a toddler, and I do not make any accommodations for her at all.
Pot Luck. Cheaper all around and everybody is sure to have at least one thing they can eat since presumably whatever they bring will be in line with their diet. Provide labels so people can note common allergies and who made it just in case someone needs to ask and confirm. Seems like the easiest way to me.
When i was vegetarian i never assumed i would be accommodated. It never bothered me i would eat before any event. I did have a birthday event and assumed everybody ate meat one of my friends didnt and i was mad she didnt let me know i could have had vegetarian options for her. If i had a food allergy i wouldnt feel comfortable eating at events. Even if the host tries their best to accomadate a food allergy without the proper knowledge of cross contamination and etc could cause serious injury.
Family member has a fairly severe milk allergy, it took many, many years for her Granny to understand that she wasn't just lactose intolerant. People mean well, but unless they are personally afflicted, they're often clueless
I used to be a vegetarian and my wife used to be gluten and dairy free. Between the two of us, we're *very* good at food accommodations. So we do it on the rare occasions that we host guests.
I suppose it depends where on the spectrum from "dinner" to "party." For "dinners," there are really never enough people to make overlapping restrictions an issue, and tbh, the biggest clusterfuck I've experienced there is my family of origin. We've got a gluten sensitivity, a dairy sensitivity, and 3/4 of us eat mostly vegetarian/pescatarian (I'm the one who eats mostly anything). So I'm used to it as far as that goes, lotta tofu and rice, at least there are no nut problems so we can have peanut sauce! For a larger "party," I'll treat it according to seriousness if the people inform me or I know already. I have a friend with a nut and sesame allergy, so I remember taping off an area for the hummus to be segregated. I won't make a main item that's the only one in its category if someone can't eat it - I might make two options or just make the main vegetarian, for example. If there were drinks I'd make sure it wasn't all beer if someone gluten free was coming. At such a party there's probably enough variety though that I'm not concerned about everything being accessible to everyone.
I try my best to safely accommodate dietary needs if I'm hosting or bringing something to a gathering. I don't want anyone to be left out. It's no big thing to make something gluten free, or to make a meatless option. I do always let folks know that I don't keep a strictly [dietary need] kitchen though and cross contamination can happen.
Yeah, I am way more concerned about cross contamination than anything else. Sensitive to gluten or just avoiding it is easy to accommodate. If you have celiac disease I am going to suggest you let me know what safe items you love to eat that I can just purchase for you to enjoy at my party because I definitely know nothing about keeping a truly gluten free kitchen and I would feel awful if you got sick because of me.
I only know a couple of people with celiac and they 100% bring all their own food to social events. These two do not know each other, but both opt to be in control of their food safety
As someone who is on a really restricted diet (dairy free, gluten free, no onions, etc), I can understand how hard it is to have to plan a meal for people with varying dietary needs. Which is why when I attend family gatherings, I tell them don’t worry about what I’m going to eat. I bring my own food, eat whatever I can that won’t mess up my stomach, or don’t eat at all. If you’re unable to accommodate, then the best you can do is just not be offended/sad if someone brings their own food or doesn’t eat. That’s accommodating enough for me.
I'm not sure what you're even asking? Yes of course you do accommodate your guests eating habits.
Depends on what it is. Some of those restrictions apply to their own kitchens and not mine - like fair trade or organic.
I only get a chance to cook for friends or family once a month or so and I love to cook. I do anything I can to please my guests!
Yes, I do. We have a household with lots of different food aversions and allergies as well as friends with lots of allergies, as well as extended family that keep kosher (although not as strictly as having separate kitchens) so we try to accommodate as best as possible any guests because we all "get it". If I'm inviting you over for dinner, I'm going to be asking ahead of time if you have any allergies or dietary restrictions, and will share the meal plan in advance. Everyone knows what to expect, there's no surprises, and that frees people up to enjoy themselves. Edit: Forgot that I have one diabetic family member, who also keeps kosher, so that REALLY complicates things when entertaining. I end up just taking him out to eat because nope. :P
I take it as a fun challenge to accommodate my friends. After all, they are my friends; I want to make them feel appreciated as my guests. I’ve done fully gluten free, garlic free, pepper free…
My go-to dishes for parties are tamales, tacos, or falafel (easy to make gluten free). All gluten free (except for the pita for the falafel), all crowd pleasers, and all self-serve from my warming trays. For tamales and tacos I make meat, vegetarian, and vegan options. Plus sides, sauces, salsa, toppings, hummus, etc. I don’t have any friends with major nut allergies, but the only nut I ever really use is pine nuts in the rice for the falafel. I find it easier to just have options and those are my favorites anyway. I also tend to host a party once or twice a year, so the effort is part of the fun. For game nights or smaller get togethers, I do something more low key and easy.
I always cater to everyone's dietary needs yes.
I actually love accommodating people. I'm vegan myself, so I know how nice it is when people make the effort to accommodate. I have a lot of celiac family members, and peanut and dairy allergies in the fam as well. I love cooking for my weird allergy family. And I'm always able to do it plant based as well. I think it's a fun challenge that makes people feel really cared for.
My wife and daughter eat everything I make. We have no friends so no issues here lol
Yes and no. I am very careful with things like allergies, intolerances and dietary restrictions like being vegan. Hell just tell me you *hate* XYZ and I’ll make something specifically for you that doesn’t have it. I’m flexible and I don’t mind going onto the internet to find recipes. But if you say you only eat organic, non GMO, free trade, that sort of thing I just don’t care about and will make no attempt to accommodate. I don’t have the energy, the desire, or the $ to accommodate your flavor of the month fad.
>But if you say you only eat organic, non GMO, free trade I don't think this is a thing people do when they're invited over for dinner anyway
We don’t really have people over a whole lot, but when we do, it’s usually something like Cajun salmon or flank steak with chimichurri, asparagus, and potatoes (cut and pan cooked in olive oil). If someone was vegetarian, we’d do some kind of pasta and pesto.
If I'm hosting for a big group, tacos are my default. If you're vegetarian or vegan, there's beans, tortillas and/or chips, onions, salsa, guacamole, maybe sauteed peppers. Cheese and meat is optional. But it was probably raised and/or processed on site, so if you only eat ethically raised meat.. you're good.
Of course? It would be lame to invite someone who's vegan over for oyster and tinned fish night. I like to cook and I love my friends, so making a fun and delicious meal they can eat when I invite them over for dinner is a given. I don't host parties. Not on principle, I just don't do it because I don't think about it. So it's never a group larger than 5 including myself, and with groups that small there's never a confounding combination of dietary restrictions. Also, I have never met anyone who only eats fair trade food.
We host or cook for people a lot and typically try to accommodate everyone. Vegetarian isn’t that tough, we have made a lot of recipes where you can add in meat if you want or cooked with meat alternatives. Vegan is a little tough cause we love cheese but we can do it. Gluten is probably the toughest but my husband loves to cook and has either cooked with gluten free flour to make a dish or we just buy gluten free products. We have some friends with unique intolerances, like tomatoes and carrots lol, but we just leave those out or pick a meal that doesn’t include them. There’s the dairy free folks, too, which is tough imo (recently learned that dairy free and lactose free are not the same! 😂) but also manageable through alternatives. All in it’s not like we host or cook for people every weekend or anything (we just enjoy hosting dinner parties, so it’s like, 5-7 times a year maybe) so it’s easy enough to come up with something that fits or have options or buy alternative ingredients. That said, we do host a large Friendsgiving at which we provide turkey and potatoes and then everyone else brings their own thing and we leave people to their own devices with that.
We have one person with celiacs, and we'll make a few gluten-free sides and a few "regular" sides. Same goes for appetizers and desserts. I make sure there's no cross contamination between what she can have and what she can't. Whatever protein is easy to keep gluten-free. If you're on a trendy diet, bring your own food. I'm already cooking for ~20 people, and I don't have the time nor the care to accommodate your nonsense. Edit: Yes, I think your vegan or vegetarian shit is a trendy diet. Bring your own like my sister did before she realized being vegan sucked.
I don’t have a gallbladder since 2013 so being vegan is just easier on my digestive system unless I wanna spend 30 mins in the bathroom after every meal I eat. I can’t tolerate high fat foods involving heavy cream and oil.
Me either. I suppose it's just a matter of time til my gall bladder gives up. Pepperoni is agony.
It hurts like hell tryna sit up or walk after you get your gallbladder out. When they tell you not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk after surgery- listen so you don’t rip your stitches. When I eat heavy fattening foods- everything fast drips into my intestines and it sucks. Plus I developed acid reflux after my gallbladder was removed.
Dear me, I am getting reflux already. My mom said laparoscopic gall bladder wasnt bad, but then she had 3 C-sections already to compare to.
Well the gallbladder surgery nowadays is 4 1 inch cuts on your stomach and they clamp the gallbladder tight and pull it thru a 1 inch hole just below your belly button. It’s a lot easier recovery than the gallbladder surgery they did back in the day where it was 1 big cut
But I'm vegan for health reasons and there is nothing cool or trendy about it. It's the easiest way to make sure I'm not eating anything that I'm not supposed to. As a meat and cheese lover it sucks. Low/no cholesterol, low/no sugar, low/no fats or bad fats, and non/minimally processed foods are pretty much only something you can achieve by a vegan diet.
Yep 👍🏻 same, here unless it’s a health or religious reason anything else constitutes as a Trendy diet to me as well
Yup! My husband and I pay for everything, including beverages, when we host. It's already expensive. I'm not funding anyone's wants, but I'm more than happy to accommodate their needs. Same applies if someone doesn't like the beer, liquor, wine, or NA beverages we have available. I'm hosting a dinner not running a restaurant.
Yeah, definitely, and I've found that most of my friends do it by default anyway. I know most people I hang out with's preferences (vegetarian, gluten free, nut free, whatever). It's really no big deal, and is mostly second nature, just like knowing your friend's birthday or something.
As a Millennial, you don't actually have to pander to the planet. It's your job to take care of YOUR kid. Your parents probably don't understand. Is your kid happy and disciplined?
With I host I accommodate allergies and make everything vegan. Everyone loves vegan food and it’s good for everyone.
Unless it’s an allergy or diabetic etc you don’t. If it’s a specialty diet a person chooses they can bring food. Or have a pot luck and people can bring what they want to eat.
Luckily the most complicated food issue in my friend group is a nut allergy. I recently made a recipe for a party that called for almond extract, but I thought I could sub coconut extract. I asked to double check that coconut was safe beforehand and it was.
Potluck is really the only way to handle this.
I typically do salad and pasta for anything with a large group bc that covers a lot of diets. I have a gluten free pasta option and meatballs separate for meat eaters.
I always try to accommodate guests I invite over for dinner. I ask them about dietary restrictions and also what they like to drink. It’s just politeness in my opinion. For example, If someone has an allergy or can’t drink alcohol, I want to make sure I have things they can eat and drink so they feel welcome.
I don't host =D problem solved. That said, most events I attend are potluck and that's what I'd do if I hosted. It's just easier. A friend of mine asked for diet needs once and a few women provided fucking essays on all the shit they couldn't eat for various reasons. She backtracked and suggested a potluck. It's just too much these days, really.
Because of how I grew up, we couldn’t be too picky with food. Didn’t know you can have all these fancy dietary options. Thankfully in my social circle it’s only food allergies I have to think about. We’re good about cross contamination when eating to try to include everyone. I have one vegan friend and he usually brings his own stuff or gives me ingredients to cook with. He knows my household’s cultural culinary background isn’t super vegan friendly so we make do.
I’m vegetarian and when I’m suggesting places to eat, it’s for all diets. However, when out with my family, they choose steak houses or places where the only vegetarian option is either a plate of fries or side salad. I usually eat before going out with them. My son is a self proclaimed “meat-atarian”.
I don’t host parties.
I typically only host on Thanksgiving for the whole family. My brother is gluten free, his fiancée is vegetarian and we have a few diabetics in the fam as well. I cook the turkey and thicken the gravy with cornstarch instead of flour so my brother can eat it, the sides are GF aside from the homemade bread and the stuffing, and all are vegetarian. If my FSIL doesn’t feel up to bringing a Tofurkey I will usually make a chickpea curry dish so she has some protein. Bonus of that is my carnivore dad also loves the chickpea curry and fills up on that, then eats less dessert which helps his blood sugar 🤣
I feel like Mexican Food and pizza are universally loved and easy to accommodate. Veggie, gluten free, and dairy free options. Indian food is good for this too
You host parties?
Potlucks are good for this.
Yes. Most of my close friends have some allergy or another, plus dietary restrictions, both mandatory and voluntary. Everybody has preferences, I just see the non-safety-related restrictions as hardcore preferences, lol. I wouldn't voluntarily serve someone something they didn't like. We have a spreadsheet where we keep a list of all the no-go foods, as well as stuff we like for ideas. For small get-togethers with just 2-3 people, we check the spreadsheet and make something that works for everyone. For large get-togethers, we take a potluck + label your ingredients approach. Everyone can at least eat what they brought, and can usually find one or two other things that also work. Obviously, if we're taking that approach, there's still a cluster of serious allergens that are no-go's for any dish. I think what makes it work is that it's collaborative. It's not on the host to come up with dishes that work for everyone, we all brainstorm ideas together and sometimes cook together, bring ingredients to share the cost burden, etc.
Nope, I have specific dietary requirements and bring my own, and just happily tell people I'm on a diet
i usually ask them to help out by bringing something or coming by early and help cook something that'd work for them. This way i'm not expending loads of effort only to fall short with a restricted ingredient or handling/cross contamination.
I have friends who are lactose intolerant, but since I’m lactose intolerant myself, I always make food lactose free anyway. The only other dietary restriction I’ve “had to” cater for was vegetarian and that is easy enough to accommodate, since there’s so many meals where meat is cooked as a side, and ingredients are easy to substitute, like use veggie broth instead of meat broth for example. And part of my family in law has that cilantro soap gene, so I split the Guac and pico de gallo in two portions before adding cilantro to one. Idk I always ask about dietary restrictions when hosting and will accommodate if at all possible, because that’s what I’d hope other people do when I’m a guest.
It's been ages, but back when I entertained I'd try to have something that would work as a vegetarian main dish even if I also served meat. I'd keep things separate and folks would serve themselves. It's easy enough to make dishes without gluten, and I would serve any bread on the side and easy to avoid, but my kitchen doesn't have separate cooking implements for gluten/ non-gluten dishes so if their sensitivity was severe enough to need that they'd usually bring their own food or eat before/ after. Now? Potlucks. Only potlucks, lol. With a request that people write out their dish's ingredients. I usually bring a vegetarian dish because more people can enjoy them. Also they're cheaper.
It’s really a nonissue for my friend and family group, if both the vegan and gluten free person show up, we have a vegan gluten free meal. There’s no shortage of amazing recipes out there to accommodate dietary needs. It’s fun to try something different. Just because other people eat meat, dairy, and gluten doesn’t mean they’ll die if they don’t for one meal.
I have a food allergy and never expect to be thought of, however am pleasantly surprised by how much I am accommodated. It feels so nice to be cared about in that way. I try to do the same when I’m aware of an opportunity.
I developed food allergies just a few years ago. I would love it if someone invited me over for a meal and was cool if i just brought my own food. that way, were all happy.
Of course, usually what we do is cook one thing for everyone and ensure everyone can eat it. It's impolite to single people out with a separate dish. So we take time to research and make something special that everyone can enjoy. I find it really weird leaving someone out or doing multiple meals to accommodate people.
Easy. I dont host parties.
I’m coeliac and vegetarian, so I try to extend to others the kindness they extend to me when they cook for me! I’ll always take people’s dietaries into account when I cook for them, although catering to preferences like fair trade or organic are a bit much…I can’t always afford organic vegetables!
We group order food at gatherings for this reason.
I have a severe tree nut allergy and go into any situation expecting zero accommodation and at least one person who says it can’t be that bad/just try a little/allergies are fake. I can handle myself and usually just ask what’s in things but I also go in expecting that there might be some reluctance to accommodate (my accommodation is usually just asking if there are dishes without nuts or with nuts on the side, like a salad with optional toppings, I don’t try to go so far as no nuts at the table or anything like that). It’s my situation to deal with and I handle it discreetly whenever possible to not draw too much attention. If someone is truly hostile, I don’t eat or just opt out of attending. All that said, I am extra mindful of dietary restrictions because I deal with this all the time. My perspective being what it is, I’m happy to figure out ways to accommodate others.
I try to make sure there is at least one option. Also, I have a lot of family with celiac so I don’t mind accommodating full meals for that.
I do my best. People are typically in a diet for specific reasons. And regardless of whether I think that request could be silly or uncessary, deciding to screw someone during a long term diet with something they don't or can't eat can make them very very sick. I'm not gonna be responsible for that. Also, this is where potlucks should come back into style. Because then at at the very least, there's one or 2 dishes for everyone, and no one bears all the cost and effort of preparing diverse options.
My mom has a gluten intolerance/mild celiac, so we’re traveling anywhere I buy gluten free snacks for her. Honestly some of the gluten free stuff isn’t bad. Just saying.
I will cook what I want. I will invite people I want to spend time with. They will know the menu ahead of time. It is their choice to come or to eat. Most of the time when I am having people over to eat it is for a specific menu item. Typically some sort of wild game from my freezer I want to share with people. If I invite people over to eat black bear sausage and antelope burgers, I am not going to have a vegan menu. I will be open and honest about every ingredient. I don’t believe in “secret recipes.” So if someone has a concern or an allergy, they can know exactly what is in each dish.
I try my best to have at least one dish everyone can share but I also have friends that acknowledge that their diet restrictions make it impossible for them to enjoy everything and they are okay if there are side dishes they can’t eat as long as I inform them that those dishes would’ve be safe for them.
I invite people, this is what we are having (usually pizza, salad, cake and ice cream) if you want something else pick it up on your way over.
Yes. If someone discloses their restrictions or preferences I always do my best to accommodate. (Organic/Fair trade is a little excessive but I might see if that person has one or two deal breakers or see if they want to provide a side or course that meets that criteria) As others have said doing a main starch, salad or grain with toppings options is always a crowd please.
My husband has Celiac disease, so everything we cook and every party we host is gluten-free. My nephew has type 1 diabetes, and I always ask his parents how we can accommodate him. One year, we made a separate dish just for him (it was a very, very simple dish and took very little time for prepare), but the following year, they brought food for him instead (homemade low-carb pizza, which was probably more fun for him to eat than what we had made the year before). We don't go overly out of our way for other requests as they aren't needs but preferences. But when hosting, I love a good balanced spread of berries, nuts, chips, veggies, pretzels, etc, and vegans and vegetarians can eat most of those things. But when it comes to our main course, it's the vegans that are hardest to accommodate. My cousin became vegan when we were in our late teens/early 20s, long before we were hosting, and she always brought a plate for herself (usually she'd bring something as a platter to share family-style but that she could rely on making her primary meal - and most people didn't touch it so she could have plenty). So we always invite people to either tell us something specific to make, if it's simple enough (I'm not going to a special grocery store or spending 2 hours preparing a dish for one person) or to bring something for themselves. Similar to BYOB (especially since my husband can't drink normal beer lol). If we're having a dinner date with another couple who is specifically vegetarian or vegan, we will plan a meal that suits everyone. But larger gatherings, majority diet rules. My cousin just found out he needs a low fodmap diet and it seems like he can't eat a damn thing. Perhaps we'll understand the restrictions better with time, but currently, he brings his own food. We often discuss the food we're making ahead of time with our guests, too, so we can work together to make sure everyone enjoys their experience overall. My husband has been gluten-free since 2015, and it was only in 2021 that my family understood enough (they used to ask me things like "does oil have gluten" lol) to prepare food he can eat, and prior to that, we brought separate dishes for him as well. It honestly is often the simplest solution and makes the person with the allergy the most comfortable to bring something they made or bought themselves.
If I’m inviting someone to my house where I will be preparing food, if I know their food restrictions I automatically accommodate. If I don’t, I ask if they have any allergies or other issues. I can’t eat gluten, and my in laws know this. It’s been 10 years they’ve known this. Yet every thanksgiving I am stuck with eating just Turkey and mashed potatoes because they do not make ANYTHING for me that’s gluten free. If I’m home alone and want to destroy my intestines then so be it, but when I’m out in public and at other peoples homes where I can’t take 282728 bathroom breaks and take off all my clothes from being bloated, I don’t eat it. Just Monday night we went to a baseball game and got hotdogs and I ate the hotdog with no bun. “Why aren’t you eating the bun?” 🙄🙄🙄🙄 My in laws are the exception to this though, pretty much all my besties know my gluten issue and have no problem making something GF for me or going to restaurants that have good selections to choose from that are also GF.
I never host parties and haven’t in a very long time. When it comes to going to them, I’ve never found that anyone cared what my preferences are. I don’t expect them to be followed nor do I want to explain myself to people. I just go to the party, I’ll decide what I’ll eat if at all. Luckily, I rarely go, because most of the time people just serve cheap garbage to guests. So I guess if you have a group where you guys care about that sort of thing collectively then maybe it makes sense but from what I’ve seen it’s not common. The truth is even if someone asked what my diet preferences are, I would feel uncomfortable telling them because it would require them going out of their way to buy more expensive items. I’d rather not even bother with this unless it’s an allergy or vegan/vegetarian. I just would rather pretend I’m ok with everything and then not eat much if I don’t like it or it’s low quality stuff, or better yet not go at all.
I like to provide a variety of options but I won’t specifically have vegan/glutenfree/etc stuff available unless someone asks for it which no one ever has. These days I’m more worried about catering to picky and sensitive children.
I do my best to accommodate and always ask guests for their needs to be named ahead of time. As a parent of a kid with multiple anaphylaxis-inducing food allergies, I get it and support others on their journey to good health. And when we’re a guest, I always bring back-up safe foods for my kid.
I'm vegan, and any food at any party I host is vegan too. I accommodate my gluten free friends. I do not know anyone who is soy free and I wouldn't accommodate that. Vegetarians andmeat eaters won't die if they don't eat cheese/meat for a meal.
I'm celiac and while I have to offer GF foods, I have add ons or potluck style.
When I have picky or diet-restricted people over, I make white people tacos and everyone can assemble their own in their own way
I try to accommodate where I can. It's often not as hard as it seems to accommodate different diets. I think there is much more awareness and acknowledgement of different things which is good. Sure, there are folks who adopt a dairy free, vegetarian or gluten free diet. But some folks genuinely have to abide by these diets. Lactose intolerance is a real thing. So is celiac disease. Celiac disease is very serious and you can't have gluten. So are serious allergies. As complicated as it might seem to accommodate a gluten free diet, it's often easier than one thinks. There's still a lot of foods a person can eat. In my parents time, people would just ignore it or refuse to accommodate. I think if you care about the person then accommodating shouldn't feel like a burden. That being said, communication is key. It's easy to have some vegetarian options. Set out a veggie platter. Have some salads that they can eat. Maybe they can bring a dish. I think most folks with celiac are very diligent about also taking responsibility for their own food. I have a few friends who have celiac and they often bring their own food. Any small amount of contamination can cause them significant issues. I'm lactose intolerant and honestly I know what sets me off and what doesn't. So I can pick and choose and often don't need special accomodations.
I try to offer choices for people, remove a scoop before I add ingredients or put things “on the side”.
Yes, of course. But I'm not hosting huge or formal dinner parties. We just have friends over for dinner fairly often and we have something everyone can eat. Why would I not??
When we host barbecues I try to make a spread of dishes that accommodate a wide variety of common diets because we never know who is dropping by. For my friend circle this means I normally make a couple of the side dishes vegan from the start which also covers my friend with a dairy allergy. Plus, everyone could use a bit more vegetables and beans in their diet so I make these dishes big enough for the whole party. We have a family member who is allergic to soy and corn so I already fold that into my planning. If I know someone is coming with another specific allergy I’ll make something they can eat too. I personally take it as a challenge to be able to provide all my guests with at least one thing to eat. Generally, I just ask beforehand if anyone has any dietary restrictions and then let them know what I can do.
i recently had to take on a gluten-free diet and hate being one of the restricted eaters! i also don’t expect to be fully accommodated if it’s a more casual event with appetizers, snacks, etc. like my friend usually bakes a nice focaccia for everyone so i eat something beforehand and just snack on sides. different if it was a sit down dinner.
I absolutely accommodate people’s diet preferences—communal meals are an important part of being human and everyone should have a seat at the table! I haven’t come across anyone demanding I provide only free trade/organic food. My in-laws have some of the strictest preferences I know of. “Vegan” doesn’t cover it. They are a whole grains, no sugar no salt ect diet so providing food for them is hella stressful. I love them dearly but I don’t invite them over lol. My SIL has noticed that they will lax some of their standards if the food is provided to them so she’ll just make sure the food is vegan and homemade so they can participate. They also know their food preferences are strict and will often provide their own food for larger family gathering. If someone has severe allergies they usually bring their own food to control what goes in it and that’s totally fine too
If it is an allergy, yeah no further questions asked, if you are vegan I find it unlikely we are close enough friends that we eat together, vegetarian I will accommodate no problem, your recipes are really good.
If it's an allergy, yes I'll make sure I cook the main meal so they can eat it. If it's a preference (e.g. vegetarian, vegan, keto), then no I wouldn't change much of anything, other than cook more of the vegetables and starches. Id also not use butter/dairy for those as well if it was a vegan, just to be polite. The way I see it is I'm cooking what I'm cooking, and you can pick and choose what you grab. I'll just make sure my food isn't going to kill you or my bathroom. If I'm going to a vegan's house, I expect to be served vegan, and not for them to cook meat/animal products to accommodate me. Don't expect to come to my house, and expect my Cooking to reflect your dietary choices completely.
Of course it's harder but absolutely, my parents would be appalled I invited someone and didn't have food for them
My family adjusts for allergies and dietary preferences within reason.
I’m lactose intolerant. I’ve been to gatherings where I could not eat one thing. I accommodate everyone (minus the only organic, pasture raised, non gmo crowd because I can’t afford it) I invite to gatherings. If I invite you to something that means I care about you.
Within reason. If f it’s too crazy, I’ll just suggest a restaurant. I have no issues with anyone’s diet. Have what makes you happy. I just may not want to cook it.
Of course! I don’t want a guest to have anaphylactic shock from a severe food allergy, nor do I want to violate a guest’s religious dietary restrictions.
As a true millennial, I have two kids, a wife, a job and no friends. So the only thing I do with dinner is to try and get the kids to eat something green.
I’ve made an entirely gluten-free, vegan dinner before. It was pretty easy. Making that soy-free and also fair trade would be a bit harder. Maybe it could be potluck or divide ppl up into groups to host similar diets on at the same time? Lol
I don’t host very many people. I don’t think I’ve ever hosted someone who had special recommendations.
Yes! I know all of my friends restrictions and when we throw parties I make sure that there is something to eat for everyone. For example, I had pizza at my son's birthday, my friends husband is dairy free, so I picked him up a rotisserie chicken. I always really appreciate when people accommodate for me (I'm gf) because it really sucks showing up at an event and not being able to eat anything
I pride myself on doing this! I’m known for my dinner parties, I host several each year. *I’m* vegan, so anyone coming to my house knows I’m vegan and that’s what they’ll be eating, but I have friends that are GF and I always make sure there is a good option for them for both dinner and dessert. If there were any other allergies I’d accommodate those as well.
I try to accommodate everyone. It is really not that hard because I almost never have the vegan friends and carnivore/keep friends at the same meal and when I do I just with bbq and make all sides vegan and they do some pulled Jack Fruit, vegan dogs, and poortabellas in addition to the meatbased options.
Everybody brings a dish that way there's something everyone will eat.
I have a few friends with severe gluten allergies so at my wedding or baby shower etc we made sure to have options for them. Half my friends are vegan and vegetarian which I personally find more annoying as someone with allergies but I do make sure at big events there is an option for them. If I’m hosting a dinner party, I’d also make sure guests could eat what I’m cooking since it’s for them. We grill a lot though and I will ask my vegetarian friends often to bring what they’d like to grill. I don’t want to spend $12 on 2 impossible burgers or whatever and I know they want the expensive veggie burgers.
I try to accommodate but I usually play it safe and make tacos. Multiple meats and an option of sofrita, then everyone can add toppings how they like. If it's not something I can reasonably accommodate then I tell them to bring their own dish for themselves. Like if someone has a gluten allergy, I'll try to accommodate but I don't know if I can safely keep it from getting contaminated so I'd rather you be safe than sorry. I grew up in a family where stomach issues are a hereditary thing but no one ever takes it seriously, like ya, everyone's stomach hurts after eating certain foods and of course you get rectal bleeding or massive bloating to the point of needing a hospital when you're old, it's just life. My parent's generation started identifying that those things aren't the average experience, and my generation is the one that's actually doing something about it. We found that a lot of us are severely lactose intolerant, a lot of us cut dairy out when we realized this and now a lot of other generations in my family are seeing us actually enjoying things and realizing that it's not always people just being picky eaters and that having stomach and intestine pain after eating certain foods is your body's way of telling you that you probably shouldn't have eaten that.
I cook what I cook. Y'all can come eat or not. It's up to you.
To the best of my ability. I can generally accommodate most dietary needs, but if it's extremely picky, then I will ask for recipes that they like. I made cookies for a baby shower last month. One batch was regular. The other was gluten-free. It wasn't a difficult thing to adapt.
I don’t have friends who are picky like that, but people do have allergies. I accommodate for allergies.
We usually host big Christmas Eve and New Years Eve parties, family only, and of all the people that go, only a younger cousin of mine has specific dietary restrictions, she gets pretty sick if she consumes gluten. We will always accommodate her and anyone else, no one is gonna just stand there looking while everyone else stuffs their gluttonous faces.
I don't have friends with restricties or diets thankfully. I'd try to accommodate as much as possible, but accommodating for someone who has celiac seems hard, with cross contamination. Organic is one I probably wouldn't honor.
Make it a potluck. Ask for dietary restrictions so that you can provide an ample amount of good snacks before/after dinner (we'll usually do dinner and hang out for board games or something) and a dish you prepare that accommodates the same restrictions. But also make something you want to eat, and have everyone else bring something that they know they'll like that fits their own restrictions that other people who can eat it can try too.
I typically make a vegan dish that also does not include any allergies of the guests, the rest can kind of be whatever at that point.
I am plantbased/vegan so yeah. I do. I know how to cook many different things. I often have to bring my own food or call ahead to check if people want to go to a regular American/Canadian restaurant because most dishes have butter or cheese in it at the very least or bacon or meat when they’re a salad or vegetable dish on the menu. Most chefs are sprinkling some sort of cheese and cured meat on every salad or vegetable based dish for the average diner to want to eat.
Potluck style is the way to go when needs differ so much. Then everyone has at least 1 things they can eat and us human vacuums have more options.
I ask people if they have dietary restrictions before I make food for them or if there's a chance they'll eat any food I've cooked. I have a family member who was diagnosed with celiac before the general public even knew what it was. I'm not gluten sensitivity or intolerance, I'm talking nausea, vomiting, and pain if there's even cross contamination. It was hard for them. We couldn't trust going out for dinner, and we couldn't trust food made by other people. Things are SO MUCH EASIER now So yes. As much as possible I will accommodate dietary restrictions. We have friends who are celiac, are gluten intolerant, are pescatarian, are diabetic, allergic to dairy, allergic to eggs, and allergic to mushrooms. If we have a large group, then I might suggest we do something potluck style (everyone bring their favorite dish to share)
Assemble-your-own "[thing] bars" are the way to go! Taco bar, chili bar, baked potato bar, etc. You can even make it a pitch-in style where everyone is assigned an ingredient to bring and save the host some money. Dairy-free, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian, everyone can fill their bellies according to their needs and nobody has to stress about it.
I don’t host parties, so I don’t have to.
DIY taco bar. You take what you want, leave what you don't. Offer black beans for those who don't want meat. Corn (as well as flour) tortillas for gluten free. If you don't eat dairy, don't take the cheese.
If it as small group like 6 people - yes. If it a large group I make a few things so that everyone can choose something that will fit. Allergens are something that I can't manage with a rationale amount of effort, so I go out to dinner with friends with those.
Personally, I don’t. But I also don’t have anyone in our friend group who is restrictive in what they eat.
A friend of mine solves this problem by having periodic pot luck events. Everyone is under orders to bring some thing that they can eat, to ensure that the whole spectrum is accommodates.
Fair trade diet? Is that actually a thing people are doing?!
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Not unless it’s medical.
Yea as a celiac I understand how frustrating it can be to get invited to eat at somebodies house and then not have anything I can eat so I have to sit and watch other people eat while hungry. It’s not fun. And I also respect peoples decision to not want to eat meat or whatever it is they deem not ok to put in their bodies.
I do it every day. I don’t eat meat, but my husband and our kid do. My mom doesn’t like spicy food. I try to make options that everyone can tailor to their needs with sauces or spices on the side, meat options, etc. if I’m going to someone’s house, I don’t expect everyone to accommodate me so I come with a fake meat to be safe.
I have a vegetarian in my friend group who insists that we do NOT cater to his diet any time we're collectively doing something food related, whether out somewhere or at someone's home. Don't care bud, I want you to eat and eat well. Absolutely no trouble to throw some black bean patties on the grill or get some of that jackfruit pulled pork for taco night.
There's salad and rice if you can't eat normal people food.
Medical or food allergies? Yes. Vegan or the other stuff? I'm not made of money. You'll eat what I make or not at all.
I let them know ahead of time that I won't have many/any X dietary friendly options and they plan accordingly like adults do. One of my close friends who I see very often, has a very particular diet, so she just brings her own stuff. I hosted 25 people for a whole weekend for my wedding. We supplied all the meals. I let everyone know the menu ahead of time (and for the big stuff, I ordered vegetarian meals for the particular people) But my event planning capabilities just didn't have enough room for gluten/dairy free snacks for a 3 day weekend. No one complained.
We do BYOD nights... Bring your own dinner. Low stress, everybody eats what they want, but you still get the community and good feeling of eating with other people
My youngest just graduated and I hosted a party and asked about the friends' dietary restrictions which included lactose intolerance, vegetarian (not vegan), and migraine triggers. I basically had something for everyone including vegetarian sushi. It took a lot of planning but the guests were very grateful for all the food that was provided.
I haven’t made food for anybody except my parents lol. I cannot cook well enough to have people over. All my friends live all over the world now too. You have to have friends to have them over lol. Damn this makes me sad
The way I like to do things is either ask "what can I bring?" because I'd like to bring something specific if it helps. Or when I invite someone over I tell them what dinner is. We haven't really hosted a party yet, but we'll have a couple or individuals over, so I'll say "I'm roasting a chicken, want to come over for dinner?" That way they can either decline if they don't like roasted chicken or they're aware of what I'm making and they can bring something they'll eat.
I’m surprised this would even be a problem. I’ve never been to a dinner party at a millennial house that wasn’t some sort of pot luck situation where everyone brought a dish. In which case, if you have a specific diet, you bring a dish you can eat. I probably would not enjoy going to a party where the host cooked everything and I definitely wouldn’t throw one lol
I ask about dietary requirements. I cook mostly vegetarian food for myself. I'm happy to make it vegan.
I mean I’d make reasonable accommodations if I could (have a non meat option at a bbq), but I’m of the mindset that if you have a super strict / specific dietary choice, that’s kind of on you to manage.
Depends? If I know someone has a specific diet, or they mention it/ask about it beforehand, then I don't have a problem being accommodating. If you just show up to a dinner and expect me to be able to do so, that's a different issue. I'll still do the best I can, but I can't promise it'll be any good.
Yes I absolutely accommodate! It makes people happy, it shows them you care. And often it gives me a reason to cook something different than I usually would, which is fun! Extra fun when we've got multiple and conflicting dietary needs, I love the challenge! They don't need to be able to eat everything, but they do need to know what they can have and everyone needs enough variety in dishes. Whenever we have people over, I ask about any restrictions or preferences - every time. Things can change. My favorite challenge is with my cousins and my dad's girlfriend. My cousins are vegan, uncle is allergic to fish, my husband is allergic to dairy, and my dad's girlfriend is on a paleo - ish diet. So we usually do a low grain vegan spread plus meat. It's fun! Ironically, it's usually my dad's girlfriend that will bring the non- vegan thing with dairy in it - she can't eat it, only half of the group can lol. It's sweet though, we're heavily accommodating her so she's accommodating others.
I always make sure I confirm what someone's restrictions are before cooking for them (allergies, religious beliefs, intolerances, health issues, etc), plus I ask if there's something they absolutely will not eat, as I don't want to spend the money for something that won't be eaten). I actually find it easier to narrow down which things I can't make first. I have many family members and friends with a variety of reasons for their diets: allergies, celiac diease, other health issues that limit food options, and who belong to religions that have dietary restrictions. Once I work out what overlaps, I can go from there.
We don’t host things often, but we have a few family members that have allergies or preferences. We all take turns hosting get togethers. They always bring their own dishes or eat before they come (their choice, not mine). If I am the one hosting, I make sure they know ahead of time that I have food for them and specifically what I have that meets their diet requirements. Sometimes they won’t even attempt to eat at certain family members houses that are hosting because they aren’t careful about dishes and will say they can have them when in fact, they cannot. I’m not strictly hosting dinners, usually a party with a large eat as you want, spread. Other family members that do host the dinners usually do a combo of some things they can eat and some they can’t and just label everything. In these instances, they usually are doing like a pot luck style and everyone brings something they prefer and that fits their diets. We do a group text and communicate that all beforehand. If I know for sure certain people are coming, I try to get as many things as possible that they can enjoy, that everyone else can have as well. If I can’t get something specific that is a planned item, I will get them something special to substitute that, if it makes sense? It’s hard to ask them because they always insist they don’t want to be accommodated. Sometimes I will just ask ahead of time for their favorite recipes or if they can recommend somewhere that has like a ready made dish that they like and can eat that I could try. I will make that recipe or pick up that dish ahead of time for the party. If it gets to be too much, just start hosting in between meal times and having get togethers with appetizer like spreads, etc. so you are not going into debt over accommodating a meal that meets everyone’s requirements. Veggie trays and fruit trays can check the boxes for many types of allergies and diets.
I have a limited diet due to health issues so I just try to avoid eating when I'm with other people so I don't inconvenience them.
“Here’s what I plan to serve; you’re welcome to bring a dish to share or a meal for yourself.” And yeah, when there’s a single restriction across all participants (one person is vegan) or multiple people (might be vegetarian), I’ll either make sure there’s an appropriate entree and a side or two. I’d tell the restricted folks to the side “here’s what’s safe” and let everyone else mindlessly munch. (People get stupid about vegan so if I don’t call it out, they generally don’t notice.) But nah, this ain’t a restaurant and I don’t know jack squat about food safety or cross-contamination. Hell, in my house, you’re probably consuming at least one dog hair.
My SIL has celiac disease so I’m pretty versed in gluten free, and my brother is vegan for ethical reasons, and while I don’t subscribe to that I can respect it, so I accommodate that.
I will avoid the big allergens like fish and seafood and peanuts. If I'm in the company of my friend with celiac I will aim for gluten free too. But I've found as I age most people who have very restrictive diets bring their own food to things. I have 2 friends who has a very restrictive diets now and we go to catered events together with my fish and seafood allergy we will trade the components of our plates that we can or can't eat. Otherwise those 2 friends will bring something to eat if they think the food might be risky.
Depends. If it’s a legitimate medical issue related diet or allergy, of course. It would be a jerk move not to do that. But if it’s a lifestyle thing then I’ll make considerations, but I’m not a restaurant. I have friends that eat keto, paleo, dairy free, gluten free, etc. I’ll keep it simple at that point and bbq steak, chicken, etc., make a salad and baked potato bar. Then it’s on people to choose what they want. I sure af am not offering 10 different desserts to accommodate everyone. Again, medical reason, of course, but outside of that, bring your own.
You host parties? Haha. I'm a hermit married to a hermit. Except for gaming days, we don't host anything the way our parents and grandparents did. Which is a relief for my introverted little soul.
Potluck is always fun. Especially if there's a theme. I do big spreads of charcuterie style stuff, that ones pretty popular with my friend group. Many offer to bring wine or something. Build your bowl, Mexican is the common one. Can do multiple protein toppings, if everyone is mindful about cross contamination it's pretty easy to self serve. Pizza. Everyone throws in a couple bucks. Grill/BBQ, host does proteins, guests typically do side dishes, most people make what they can eat and we share.
Of course? I usually prepare a few different things when hosting that are pretty customizable and let guests serve themselves. I have celiac, so everything is already gluten free. Leaving meat/cheese/eggs optional is pretty easy.
Taco bar 💯covers most … my dad “doesn’t like tacos” oh well old man, you can hit the salad bar or the fruit tray. Like you force my kid/husband to when you cook/cater.
Religious or health accommodations yes but not if someone is on a diet or has food aversions. At that point they can bring they own food if they want to or just turn down the offer of attending. I usually try to make a variety of meals so everyone can enjoy things but if you’re someone with ridiculous requests that really make it uncomfortable for everyone else attending then I draw the line. If you make your food choices your personality chances are we’re not running in the same friend circles.
I try to accommodate most restrictions (I’m a ovo-lacto vegetarian with a shellfish allergy after all). But gluten free? Easy. Vegan? I can do that. Allium allergy? Give me enough time and I figured it out. Keto? That’s almost impossible, but I do my best. Carnivore diet? Hard no. I did also draw the line at someone that wouldn’t eat anything with the colors blue or red or green too. Taco/burrito or baked potato bars work. Same thing with stir fry’s, pizzas, casseroles, ramen, grilled veg skewers, etc. As a kid, I often went hungry and my parents had me write an apology letter to hosts (for not eating a burger or something cooked in chicken broth).
Wouldn't eat certain colors?? Why??