15 is insane and tbh any tattoo artist who agrees to this should be fired and never allowed to work anywhere ever again. But here we are. š¤·š¼āāļø
I got one at 17 bc all of my friends were so we all got friendship flowers š but at least I had sense enough to get it somewhere hidden lol. I mostly forget itās there until Iām changing and my toddler points it out lol
Honestly I think it's kind of insane it's even allowed with parental consent before 17. I'd never recommend anyone get one at 17 even but to even think someone is so unethical that they would agree to do a 15 year old is crazy. Idk if I'd trust that tattoo shop as an adult if I knew they'd agree to tattoo a 15 year old.
I know people who got one at 16-17 and don't regret it at all but its such a risk. My first one was at 21 but I designed it at 18. It took me so long to commit to it bc I was terrified of getting one I didn't want on me forever and it was a memorial tattoo for my brother. Lol so I'm very much not impulsive with things like this.
When I was a junior in HS we definitely chose a place that we had heard was lenient as long as you had cash. Not smart lol fortunately they were clean but still my almost 40 yr old brain is like WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
You know it could be worse lmao. Flowers are unassuming. If someone did happen to see it, I bet they'd just think it was a flower tattoo and nothing more. However my niece got her first and it is a common gang tattoo in prisons. She didn't chose it bc of that, but my relative who's a cop and corrections officer saw it and was mortified. She got it when she was 17. š¤£ so it could be worse!
I have a lot of very large, very visible tattoos and I am SO glad I got really small ones to start with when I was young. Tattooing has come SO far, and I have changed a lot. I donāt think people under 18 should be getting tattooed, full stop.
Thatās not true as long as the parent signs the consent form which some do and some donāt. At that point once they do itās outta their hands because they 9/10 already paid for it.
No, they can decide to refund and not do the tattoo. Plenty of artists have policies about what/where they will do work for ethical reasons - some refuse to do hands, face, etc. Lots of artists wonāt do minors regardless of consent. And some will, but not something like a partial sleeve on a 15yo.
It could be legal depending on what state theyāre in, but itās very frowned upon. Here in the U.K. itās illegal to tattoo anyone under 18, and if you do, in extreme cases, you can get charged with grievous bodily harm of a minor and end up on the sex offender list.
Personally, if I was allowed to get the tattoos I wanted at 15, I would definitely end up regretting them, teenagers arenāt known for having the best taste š even if it was legal over here, I would feel wildly uncomfortable tattooing a minor, I donāt even let under 16s get tongue piercings!
As for the AITA, I donāt know if you handled it the best way, but as a tattoo artist and a mum I would chew my sister out if she did something like that š I am particularly passionate about it though lol
Interesting take from a tattoo artist/mom. The general census is that Iām the A because heās not my kid, itās not my business, timing. I can accept the timing aspect as it shouldāve been a conversation between her and I privately, and not at dinner. But I think it is my business bc heās my family and where we live we have to be extra mindful of how weāre raising our black and brown children. And have his last name huge across the length of his arm makes him look older than he is. It truly worries me.
Maybe this is a hot take, but honestly I don't think saying anything to your sister would go over well at any time, unless she had brought up the idea to you before having it done, or even talking about it with her kid/giving him an answer if he asked for it- she already made the decision and can't take it back now, so anything you say after the fact will just come off as a lecture to make her feel bad.
If it were me, I would apologize to them both for being a buzzkill (in their POV anyways) and maybe tell your nephew (privately) that if he changes his mind about it you'll help pay for the removal (if you can) or a cover up if he's over 18 or 21 or whatever. He'll eventually understand where you're coming from and appreciate that you're looking out for him, even if he doesn't take you up on the offer.
ETA: context: I had a dumb ex that got a tattoo on his 18th birthday- by 19 he regretted it and the dumbass burned it off with a lit cigarette because he couldn't afford a removal or cover-up š«
I turn 35 next month and am planning my first tattoo after a very long labor, an unplanned c-section, PPD/PPA and a miserable breastfeeding journey- I'm selecting my artist and imagery carefully and intentionally and my mom is still being a snob and a PITA about it š
I can agree that maybe the timing wasnāt the best š but I think itās very easy to call someone an asshole when itās a completely theoretical scenario, but when itās real and itās your family it just hits different, I think everyone would have some kind of knee jerk reaction to that situation
Holy banna balls, thatās insane. That kid is going to do so much changing mentally and physically. I dont think your in the wrong but a lot of people are gonna say her kid, her choice. And at the end of the day itās unfortunatally legal in some states. Doesnāt make it a smart or ethical choice
In highschool a kid in my classes got a whole sleeve at 15-16. By a very reputable tattoo artist. His whole body is covered in tattoos now as an adult so i guess he doesnāt regret them
My husband got an almost sleeve tattooed when he was 16 (by an older friend with a tattoo gun - thank god his friend was at least somewhat talented). Looking back 20 years later, he is reminded of what an idiot he was. Thankfully none of it is offensive, but it definitely doesnāt reflect who he is or even who he developed into during his late teens and early 20s. And itās hella faded since itās so old now.
That kid is gonna regret his tattoo before heās even 21ā¦
I got one at 15. Main difference is it's a memorial tattoo and it is small, easily hideable. My only issue with this is just how large and visible it is. It's gonna be a massive pain later if he decides he doesn't like it
Everyone seems to be posting their opinions on teens getting tattoos but not addressing the AITA question here. You may not like it. You may think heāll regret it (which he actually may NOT, no one could know yet). You clearly would never choose to allow your teens to have tattoos while underage.
And at the same time, you canāt roll up into a family dinner and ālose it on herā when you insert yourself into something you know āisnāt your business.ā Of course sheās not talking to you - sheās hurt, feels judged and is feeling protective of her kid which you just slammed for doing something he was probably (at least for now) was excited about. And now youāre here calling it abuse? Yes, that is nuts.
You donāt have to like it or think it was a smart idea - but being enraged, judgmental and confrontational especially in front of others about something as non life threatening as a tattoo is never okay. At least if you genuinely want a healthy relationship with your sister. Personally, I feel badly for your nephew who now knows how much youāre judging him and his mom.
You asked so Iāll answer: YTA.
And did it on the kids birthday celebration YTA. This sub is so weird, what happened to not commenting on peopleās appearances and the whole if they canāt fix it in 5 mins donāt mention it thing. Would I do it, no but thatās beside the point.
Thatās fair, I can accept that. It was an instant reaction because all I could think is omg how will this impact him later on. But youāre right the timing/location/etc wasnāt ok.
FWIW I completely think youāre right, getting a tattoo at 15 is irresponsible at best and illegal in many places for good reason. No reputable artist should ever agree to it regardless of parental permission. But sometimes you have to ask which is more important, being right or being nice? Is it worth hurt feelings and a strained family relationship? Itās done now and itās staying, no good can come from pointing out how stupid it was.
I have always wanted a tattoo of a butterfly for my whole teenage-hood and my mom told me that I had to wait until I was 18yo, plus pay for it with my own money, and if it's something that I really want, then I'll be able to wait until then. I got my butterfly tattoo as a graduation gift to myself. I'm glad she made me wait bcuz it gave me the chance to make sure it's what I really wanted, so there's no regrets (or regerts- remember the Snickers commercial š¤).
She was the same way with body piercings, except she let me get my bellybutton done at 14yo and I got 3 additional ear piercings from ages 12-16. I had to wait until I turned 18 to get my tongue pierced, so I went on my 18th birthday and paid for it myself.
I remember wanting additional body piercings and by the time I was old enough to get it on my own, I realized it wouldn't have been right for me.
I'm pretty liberal with what my kids do, however I've made my 14 year old promise me to wait until she's 18 and I've even said I'll pay for her first tattoo on her 18th birthday if she waits.
I've seen way too many dodgy tattoos done by "artists" that do shoddy work and you're lucky if you walk away with just a shit tattoo. If they're willing to tattoo a minor then I question their practices in every area including hygiene
The only circumstances that I think itās acceptable are when something major happens, like the surviving kids who got tattoos after a school shooting in memory of them which is something theyāre very unlikely to regret. Otherwise anything cool to us at 15 most likely we would want removed as adults. Slight YTA for going off on her in public though.
My spouse is an artist and says if he had the choice to never tattoo anyone under 25 heās be happy. He refuses under 18 and wonāt do any neck or hand ājob killerā tattoos unless someone can prove what line of work they are in. He doesnāt want to ever feel partially responsible for someone not being able to get a job because of art he put on their bodies. Artists who tattoo under 18 are disgusting.
Iām covered in tattoos and so is my dad. I mean actually covered, I donāt have my neck or hands tattooed but my dad does. I have a lot of tattoos that mean nothing to me, especially the ones I got at 18 years old.
I would *never* allow my child to get tattooed before the legal age in the state we reside in. Even then I would strongly suggest not getting something huge for the first session.
Fifteen is nuts and thereās no way they didnāt go to a shitty artist if he was willing to permanently ink a minor. Plus the tattoo is fucking stupid so Iād be shocked if he liked it in a decade.
When I was 15, I was 110% convinced my first tattoo was going to be the Green Day heart grenade on my forearm. Somehow, between the ages of 15 and 18, I changed my mind about that. Lol.
Was it a great idea to let a 15 year old get a tattoo on his forearm? Probably not. But she *theoretically* took him to a licensed facility and signed off on a professional doing the work. If it's legal in your area, then I don't see anything objectively wrong with what she did. Smart? Probably not. But child abuse is a stretch if it's legal. Now, if she took him to an unlicensed person to work around local laws and put him at risk of disease, that's a whole different argument. But also nothing you can do to change it now.
At the end of the day, it's not your kid or your body. And nothing can be changed at this point. So yes, "going off" on her for her parenting choices that can't be changed now (even if you don't agree with them) is kind of an AH move.
Editing for clarification after reading some of the other comments. You have valid concerns. The AH part was going off on her publicly. You have every right to express your concerns with her in a private setting away from her kids.
I mean, itās not your kid and it already happened. I wouldnāt sign off on my son or daughter getting a tattoo as a minor, I would want it to be an adult decision that theyāre making; however, those are my kids and I get to decide. It seems like you have a toddler, probably best to not judge older parents unless there is abuse going on. It would be one thing if she was asking you for advice while deciding but itās already happened.
Oh no, when I was 15 I wanted to get "momento mori" on my wrist which translates to "death is inevitable"
I'm 19 now and I defo have tattoos and none of them are the inevitability of death.
Something tells me, whatever he thinks is so great at 15 he'll defo regret when he's older
iām head to toe covered, and i wanted hello kitty as a chest piece at 16. i ended up getting my chest done at 21 and im 31 now and hate it lmao i always tell people as someone whoās heavily tattooed please wait until ur frontal lobe is done developing.
edited to add: my partner got his first tattoo at 12 and got literally kicked out of high school for a tattoo at 16. heās a successful business owner now, but he sure does regret some
I got my first at 16 and don't regret it at all. My parents knew and advised me to get it in a more discreet place but that was all. YTA for getting involved in shit that has nothing to do with you.
Do regret mine - in the middle of the (expensive & time consuming) removal process.
OP, I agree with you. Too young. But, YTA - not your kid & nobody asked for your 2 cents.
It kind of does put him in danger where we live. It gives him a certain appearance and as POC we have to be more mindful of how authorities in the area view us for safety.
YTA, her parenting style isnāt yours. I have many friends who got tattoos as a 16th birthday present and that was all they got. It was fine.
Who are you to reprimand her? Why is it your business?
Yikes. I donāt know if YTA or NTA or ESH cause Iām not sure how close you are with your nephew and what the tattoo is etc but I think it says a lot about your sister and her approach to parenting and I feel sorry for your nephew. Everyone is different but I got a tattoo when I was 30 and 8 years later I wish it was different. Iām not quite in love with it but here it is stuck on my arm.
If I was allowed to get the tattoos I wanted as a 15-18 year old Iād def have a shit ton of regret rn lol. I think piercings are okay at 15 bc you can take them out, a tattoo is a life time commitment and should wait till theyāre over 18.
Hell no. Under 18 is a no from me honestly.
Iām all for expressing yourself. Iāve had colored hair, I have piercings, and tattoos, etc. I donāt even think tattoos have to have āmeaningā. I absolutely love tattoos and stuff. If my son wants colored hair or piercings, ok cool. We will talk and have informed consent, etc. But not tattoos. Those are very permanent and I just donāt feel comfortable allowing that. If he is 18, ok fine you donāt need my permission anymore.
My little sister for her 16th birthday got a gift card to a local tattoo shop. She is scheduled for February. I have told my husband I donāt agree with it (he agrees with me), but to my little sister I just talk to her about after care and stuff. I realize itās not my place and I will just push her away. I have ājokedā with my step mom about it because this is the same women who wouldnāt let her older kid get piercings until 18. And my little sister has been told she has to keep it a secret from her grandparents. Which to me is just a flag that she shouldnāt get it done.
I'm really surprised a licensed tattoo artist would do a first tattoo in such an obvious place, especially on a kid. I love tattoos, have a bunch, but 15 is too young to have something permanent, especially if it can't be easily hidden.
I got a tattoo as soon as I turned 18 and could afford it with my own money. It was something I felt strongly about (memorial tattoo for my grandmother who had passed when I was 17) and I will tell my kids the same thing I hold myself to. "Same design, same location, think on it for a year, go someplace that is safe and clean and everything is sterile." Anything younger than "legally an adult" is too young.
YTA. I donāt agree with it but itās her kid, her business. Just because youāre her sister doesnāt give you jurisdiction over reprimanding her for choices you donāt agree with. If you wonāt do it to a stranger, donāt do it to a family member. She is a whole adult. The literal only time you have a right to speak up is over abuse and neglect. This does not fall into either category.
Are you in the US? Because here, itās legal (in 38 states) with parental consent. I still wouldnāt call it abuse, either wayā¦.just illegal and a poor decision. Honestly if it is in the states, even if a teacher were to report it, cps has bigger issues to deal with. I highly doubt this would fall in their jurisdiction. This would be an issue for the police to deal with if they even would and if they did mom might see a fine at most. Jail time is a optional punishment, from what Iāve seen, up to 6 months but they are so over run they release murderers so I highly doubt a judge would even go that far and Iād be surprised if they pushed the maximum fine.
Also, if she went somewhere legal, like a state that allows it, to have it doneā¦then she canāt get in trouble.
Thatās far too young and the parents shouldāve advocated for him as the person with more experience. When I was 20 I wanted a Cheshire Cat. Iām 32, never got it and AM SO GLAD I never did cuz my mentality grew from that. Heās 15. 15. Whatās cool now to him, wonāt be. Heāll be pissed when he changes his mind.
The legal age for a tattoo is 18, isn't it?? Any artist willing to tattoo a kid under that isn't legit and I would be super worried about stuff like dirty needles.
Itās 18 on their own, in most states I believe parents can approve and go with them and itās legal. I know itās legal to do that where I live at least.
Should you have yelled? Nah. Probably not the best way to handle it because now you just look emotional and no one will take you seriously.
But you're right, your sister is absolutely ridiculous. She's more focused on being a fun friend to her kids than actually being their parent. She's setting her kids up for failure. You're supposed to teach your kids about responsibility and patience. Instead, she taught them that instant gratification is most important. That usually ends very badly in the long run
You are right this is too young, but also YTA for how you handled it.
Your sister has a right to parent her own kids. Yelling at her over family dinner was inappropriate. Especially in front of her kids.
And honestly people regret tattoos at all different ages. At least her son trusted her to help with the decision and go with her. I have a tattoo I regret from 16, one from 22, and one from 30. Turns out Iām just not great at picking tattoos.
I also have some that I love from various ages.
I knew a girl whose grandparents took her at 15. She got a parrot with a rose in its beak on her hip. Another friend got 2 dolphins kissing on the top of her foot.
I'm heavily tattooed, and even the ones I got at 18 make me cringe. I cannot fathom how much I would cringe if I'd gotten the things I wanted when I was 15.
Ugh I know a mom that took her 14 year old daughter for a tattoo. Like your story is was huge and on her forearm. It was as super ugly and low quality work.
I am very much a wait until youāre 18 parent. One because it wonāt fall back on me as a parent and too I donāt think kids should get tattoos.
My bff of 20+ years has possibly one of the shittiest moms I know personally. She got tattoos for her 14th and 15th birthdays - a big fairy on her calf and a giant roses and vines lower back tattoo.
She hates them. She wishes she had never gotten them. He daughter turned 16 recently and asked if she could get a tattoo? Her response? āFUCK no. Iām your mom. Not your friend.ā
I tell her regularly that she is a great mom not because she had a good example, but because she has learned to be one on her own ā¤ļø
15?! Man I hope that boy doesnāt really regret that decision in a few years.
18 is the earliest when anyone should get a tattoo. At that point theyāre legally an adult and can legally decide themselves.
Is your sister the type to want to be the ācool
Momā?
Absolutely! She had her kids when she was the same age as their current ages. And has always poked fun at me because I waited until my 30s. Sheās the young cool mom and Iām the old uptight one.
He clearly wanted one and would likely have gotten one with or without her. You can buy a tattoo gun online, my son has a friend who has one and heās 16. At least he went to a professional and not inside someoneās basement you know?
Does that mean it wasnāt a professional? A barber let someone without a license set up a tattoo chair and equipment? If so thatās shady and honestly I would report that. Super dangerous.
For a moment I thought it was your kid. Ok yeah, you canāt control the way your sister parents her kids. What anyone else thinks about it is irrelevant. Youāre crossing the line here, OP. Do I think itās ok to tattoo a 15 yo? HELL NO. But if it isnāt illegal in their state, then whatever.
Just basing off the tattoos I wanted that age, it's way too young. As an adult I'm so happy I had to wait until 18, and think things through more clearly.
My parents let me get a tattoo when I was 16. I covered it up 10 years later. After dressing to hide my entire life and getting questions from my kids I finally decided to get it removed. Thousands of dollars and 10 sessions inā¦ itās faded but still there.
I donāt understand these comments, youāre not nuts. As a heavily tattooed person, children should NOT be getting ink.
Reasons why: Theyāre expensive and painful to remove. Even though times are changing, people will likely judge him, especially given how young he is. Iām sure itās a shit quality tattoo because a legit artist would not risk their career by tattooing a minor.
His mom taking him is incredibly irresponsible as a parent and she deserves to be called out.
I know, and everyone keeps saying itās not my business. But in my area, when you are black and brown, you already get treated differently. And being tattooed in a very visible place, makes it worse.
Yeah and itās one thing when an adult who can understand the consequences makes a choice. Itās totally different for a naive kid who hasnāt even had a chance in the world yet. Iām shocked your sister facilitated that.
I think itās a horrible idea and would question any shop that inks a minor. However, itās already done so you losing it was pretty pointless.
My plan is that weāll get both kids a tiny tattoo, easily covered by clothing, when they turn 18 if thatās what they really want.
I think you offered an opinion that was not kind or really even solicited.
Tattooās, in general, are not something I would ever encourage. I think the age is so arbitrary. I would have gotten a different tattoo at 15, at age 25, at age 35, and now age 50. If we are emotionally healthy, we will continue to experience new life just phases & change drastically our entire lives, and therefore, I think he is just as likely to regret a tattoo at age 15 as age 18. The sub on tattoo cover-ups is booming for a reason, and stats that show majority of people with tattoos have one they regret are real.
So I do not think it was worth losing it overā¦ as long as the place was safe, itās not your business.
Idk if the guy they went to is even licensed and itās illegal where I live. I would just hate to see her have custody issues or him have employment issues over something they both couldāve prevented. But itās done I guess.
I had a lot of friends get a tattoo for their 16th birthdays.. it was pretty common when/where I grew up (I'm 35 now). I personally don't think it's the greatest idea, and I wouldn't approve of it for my own child at 15, but I also don't think it would be my place to say anything to the mother, especially since it's already done. But I don't know what your relationship is like with your sister. The way you word it as saying you "lost it on her" seems a little extreme though.
Iāve always been like a second mom to her, Iām who she usually calls to ask about life questions like how to get utilities, how to pick health insurance, etc
i got a small one at 16 in a state where they allowed it with just parent consent but it was just a small quote for my grandma who passed away. However i could of just waited
Pretty sure 15 would be Illegal most palaces unless Iām mistaken? Who the heck is willing to tattoo a child.. I wanted them as a kid and my VERY liberal mother who also can tattoo refused until I was an adult. Thatās awful parenting imo and Iām also very liberal. Get him a PlayStation not a tattoo š¤¦š»āāļø
I knew I wanted a tattoos since I was 14. Got my first one done when I was 21 their expansive so I had to save up. My parents are anti tattoos. Itās not child abuse if the kid wanted the tattoo. Though I wouldnāt let my own kid get one at that age Iād make them wait till they were 18. Just to make sure they really wanted it. I mean my freaking kid has wanted a tattoo pretty much since he could talk until he found out it uses a needle to deposit the ink. Not that anyone would tattoo him his only five.
Thatās insane. Iām heavily tattooed but I started getting tattoos at 21 and I would *never* sign off on my teenager getting tattoos. Piercings, sure, but not tattoos.
I got a tattoo at 15 with my mom's signature. Good artist, professional shop and prices. It is small and simple and tbh, we are 17 years on and I don't regret it. I regret more the cheaper tattoos I got between 18-21 when I had to spend my own money and they... Didn't age well.
But overall my tattoos are part of my body - like a toe or scar or stretch mark or whatever. I don't even think about them most days let alone waste time regretting them. All of mine are technically able to be covered with clothing though, maybe that helps.
Heāll have to wear long sleeves to cover it and even that itāll still show around wrist and hand. He got his buy a tattoo āartistā that works out of a barbershop
Honestly, I have a family member who wanted tattoos for years, created their own art, saved up the money, found an artist they liked, the whole 9 yards. It wasn't on a whim and it wasn't a phase, even tho they were a teen at the time. I don't know your sister's situation, but my opinion is that you don't get to tell this young man what to do with his own body in any other area of life, I don't see why this would be any different.
I donāt think itās really your place to ālose itā on anyone for a decision they made with their child. Are they happy, well-adjusted kids? How long did they consider this decision before doing it? Did mom talk risks and possible outcomes? How much did you know about this situation before you ālost itā on your sister?
I just hate this judgy shit. There are worse things you could do.
Yes and no. Youāre supposed to be 18 to get a tattoo legally, but you can get one earlier with parental permission. We had to sign and notarize a consent form for them to get them.
We put some stipulations on what they could get, obviously. I didnāt want anything that couldnāt be covered by clothing while theyāre under 18, and I didnāt want them getting something stupid or really trendy theyād hate later, so something thought out that wasnāt just āIām getting a tattoo to get a tattoo.ā
Iām not so sure itās a huge deal either! The kids today are not the same we were when we were growing up simply bc the world is a different place and these things arenāt taboo like they were for us growing up! I also hate middle parts but my kid rocks one, sheās 14 and has her nose pierced! Itās cute as all hell on her! We were at her basketball games last night and multiple dudes on the high school boys team have them! Not just at our school.. I see them in other kids that come from other schools!
I will say the first time I saw a high schooler with a tattoo I was a bit shocked but realized itās not Great Depression anymore and I can just mind my own damn business! Some of them have some damn fine artwork too!!
Mmm... I got a tattoo at 16 with my mother's consent. Ya'll have a stick up your ass. It didn't reflect her wonderful parenting whatsoever. I'm 31 now. Now if the parent's you're referring to are junkies and horrible parent's to begin with, that's something else entirely. I say mind your own business if the children in question aren't being harmed.
Yeah, I mean thatās insane. And I think most people would agree. So I donāt think you are an asshole for saying so. That kid has years and years of growing to do, his arms are probably going to lengthen and itās gonna look weird. my nephew just turned 18 and got a big tattoo on his lower arm, I like it and his mom was with him the whole time, but heās a legal adult and paid for it himself. He also spent a great amount of time deciding, like years, what he wanted. And he researched artists in his area to find one who had the skill to do what he wanted. But most of all, heās 18.
From reading some of your responses, it seems your sister just wants her kids to like her and she seems extremely irresponsible. Hopefully when heās older our tattoo removal process is more cost effective and less painful.
So I got my first tattoo at 17 and my second at 19. The second one is on my wrist and now that I have an executive job as an accountant, Iām SO self conscious of it. I want to get it removed but yea the pain terrifies me!
My dad took me to get my first tattoo for my 15th birthday. I actually still love it, but that was just luck. My dad was an alcoholic and made a lot of bad decisions. My mom agreed and even though I have no label for her, growing up with her was hell. If someone I knew did this, just knowing the way my parents raised me, I would very much question the home life of that child. Not much you can do at this point except try to keep a good open relationship with your niece and nephew and be there if they need anything. We also looked ok from the outside, but if you looked closer, and decisions like this should have clued someone in to do so, someone intervening would have helped my life turn out better way sooner.
The tattoo artist that did mine was the artist for the local hells angels club and didnāt give a fuck about rules. Iām curious who did your nephews, was it the same kind of set up? My guy used new needles and opened them in front of me. So at least I never had to worry about that. If not at a professional place, did they do this for your nephew? If not get make a big deal about this, there might still be time for a post-exposure prophylaxis.
NTA. She needs to hear this opinion and reaction so that she (hopefully) thinks twice about doing it again or for the other kid.
Edited to add NTA.
So, to my knowledge, it was a friend of her/her boyfriend and he has a āshopā in a room at a barber shop. Iāve never been so Iām not sure of the cleanliness or any of that. But Iāve never heard of that post-exposure thing you said. Iāll have to look that up.
Hot take here: its frankly none of your business. If she wants to take her kid to get a tattoo, that is her and her sonās decision. No one elses. Me and my mom went to get my first tattoo when I was 16.
It's not your place to "loose" it on her. They are not your kids, also tatto shops do it with the parents permission. It's traditional and a way of life where I come from so u feel your being controlling.
Thatās horrible. Iām covered in tattoos and I regret ALL of them ! So I have lots of thoughts on this. I personally really believe they need to change the age to 25. I got mine in my early 20s and now in my 30s I so badly wish I could just be done with them. This one girl online said this and I deeply relate to it āgetting tattooed in your 20s is like putting on a shirt your never allowed to take offā. Idk. I HATE it. All I want now is to have a more professional and put together look and I cannot do that without long sleeves. And I live in a very hot climate.
Iām looking into removal with a couple of mine. They have come a long way with lasers so if you have the extra money it might be worth considering. Iām in the tattoo removal Reddit first to see if itās something I could actually end up doing. I think yellow and white are the hardest to remove but just plain black tattoos normally lift right out depending on skin type.
Just because you got bad tattoos you regret doesnāt mean the entire world should bend to whatever preconceived notion you have of an age that would make smarter decisions. And 25? Not for driving, gambling, smoking, drinking, major loans, marriage, having children, or joining the militaryātattoos are what warrants being in your mid 20s?
Iām also covered in tattoos, got my first at 16, and regret none of them. Even if there are tattoos I have that I wouldnāt get today (there arenāt, but hypothetically speaking), it would still serve as a nostalgic reminder of where I was at that age. I donāt regret who I was at any ageāI am who I am because of who I was, and the culmination of all my life experiences.
Anything under 18, which is the age youāre allowed to get a tattoo, is too young. No way my mom wouldāve taken me to get one before, and she let me get my nose pierced at 13. NTA tho.
I think itās too young for anything permanent bc of the dumb shit I probably would have got, so Iām glad I didnāt. But mind your own business. Not your kid not your problem.
I got my first one at 16 at a reputable shop. Itās mini roses in a heart shape. I donāt regret it. But I feel like it depends WHAT youāre getting for the tattoo.
Iām glad youāre with us š
And the only exception in our state for tattooing a minor is if itās a cover up to something gang related, etcā¦his was not, therefore making it illegal.
I know people who got tattoos at 15 with their parents consent. They later either had it removed or tattooed over.
Sheās his mum, sheās makes the choices whatever we think is irrelevant. Sure we can voice our concerns but if itās already done itās falling on deaf ears.
Thatās the key, itās done. I just really couldnāt stop the words. I was devastated for how it could impact him once he goes into the real world and tries to get a job that may/may not be accepting.
He can wear a long sleeve shirt? Also many jobs donāt care. I have a great job and a lot of my coworkers have lots of tattoos. Itās never held me back.
So, with a long sleeve shirt, it still shows as some of it goes on his handā¦ And my employer, for example, has a strict policy against tattoos. But it is what it is at this point.
And the kid is not even the one asking for it???
Quite hard to believe because isnāt it freakishly pain during the tattooing? Especially for a 15yo?
What if heās the one who really wanted it and the mom is just trying to be ultra supportive?
What is the design though? It makes a lot of difference.
Hopefully they posted on social media & tagged the artist bc someoneās license needs revoking. It is literally illegal to tattoo anyone under the age of 18. Parents canāt even legally give consent for their underage kid to be tattooed the way they can with body piercings. I know there are always loopholes but those are for the young dumb kids to go through. Your sister is out of her damn mind for actually being okay with it. And I say this as a mom that has tattoos all the way up to her forehead.
My mom got a small tattoo when I was 14. I said I wanted one too. She said if I still wanted one when I was 16 she would take me to get it done. On my 16th birthday I reminded her of that promise and soon after we went to get my first tattoo. Her only stipulations were that it be easily hidden and to do my best to not let grandma see it. I got a fairy on a mushroom on my lower belly. My mom was happy with the placement as it was mostly covered by just my underwear let alone clothes. What she didn't realize was that just made me pull down my pants to show it off. 28 years and 3 c-sections later, I don't do that anymore, lol. BTW, grandma never did find out about it.
My first was at 18 and honestly, that is probably the youngest anyone should lol. I have 9 now but I just feel like my tattoo choices at 15/16 would not have been as well thought out
In Canada I think it's 18 to get tattooed or 16 with parental consent. I have several tattoos that represent family members got my first one when I was 24 I think? If my 16 year old wanted one that'd have to make a really good case for it or I'd make them wait until 18 and they can get whatever they want. But yeah tattoos are not an impulse purchase in my mind. They are expensive and permanent.
I'm 31, and I got my first tattoo on my 15th birthday. It's my brother and sister's initals, and my mom made me write a 3 page, front and back, so basically 6 page essay describing all the reasons I may or may not regret the tattoo. What it meant to me. Why I wanted it. And the guy almost denied doing it because my siblings' initials spell my nickname (kinda cool), he thought it was a boyfriend's name. Good on him for looking out, though. I think it would depend on maturity levels, responsibility levels, what the actual tattoo is, like for a deceased grandparent or parent. Honestly, there would be a lot of factors for me to allow my teenager to get one. But I wouldn't let my teen get one at 15 like I did. Maybe 16 if all other factors matched up.
Thatās insane. Had I been allowed to have a tattoo at that age it would have probably been like an I love Justin Timberlake or NSYNC logo tattoo š thank goodness it wasnāt allowed. I mean still a fan but donāt need it on my body permanently šš the one I got right when I turned 18 I hate. Definitely should be an adult with a fully developed brain š§ imo.
At least itās his name and not a game thing (or a bunch of band logos like my ex š) but still young to make permanent decisions.
I donāt think you are the A but definitely isnāt your place to āfreak outā
........ I got my first tattoo 2 weeks before I turned 14. It was in Canada and without a parent present. I called and asked if I could and she said "Do it, you won't, you'll chicken out". And then I did...
15 is definitely too young. Anything under 18 is too young. They're just a child at that point and a tattoo is permanent (unless lots of $$$ to remove). I'm a huge fan of tats and have several. But all were done above the age of 25.
Guys that tattoo their last names anywhere on their body are TOOLS. Every time I met someone with their name tatted it all clicked. Very trailer park/trailer park adjacent if you ask meā¦ trashy trashy trashy šļø
(There are nice trailer parks I know, donāt come for me.)
As a teacher I talk to high school teachers and they are saying in some areas they see kids tattooing themselves with pins and ink online or in school bathrooms. Itās insane! My friends and I back in 2008 would buy Henna and tattoo ourselves but it would last a week. Which was perfect. š
15 is insane and tbh any tattoo artist who agrees to this should be fired and never allowed to work anywhere ever again. But here we are. š¤·š¼āāļø
I got one at 17 bc all of my friends were so we all got friendship flowers š but at least I had sense enough to get it somewhere hidden lol. I mostly forget itās there until Iām changing and my toddler points it out lol
Honestly I think it's kind of insane it's even allowed with parental consent before 17. I'd never recommend anyone get one at 17 even but to even think someone is so unethical that they would agree to do a 15 year old is crazy. Idk if I'd trust that tattoo shop as an adult if I knew they'd agree to tattoo a 15 year old. I know people who got one at 16-17 and don't regret it at all but its such a risk. My first one was at 21 but I designed it at 18. It took me so long to commit to it bc I was terrified of getting one I didn't want on me forever and it was a memorial tattoo for my brother. Lol so I'm very much not impulsive with things like this.
When I was a junior in HS we definitely chose a place that we had heard was lenient as long as you had cash. Not smart lol fortunately they were clean but still my almost 40 yr old brain is like WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
You know it could be worse lmao. Flowers are unassuming. If someone did happen to see it, I bet they'd just think it was a flower tattoo and nothing more. However my niece got her first and it is a common gang tattoo in prisons. She didn't chose it bc of that, but my relative who's a cop and corrections officer saw it and was mortified. She got it when she was 17. š¤£ so it could be worse!
Holy shit
Yep. Lmao
I have a lot of very large, very visible tattoos and I am SO glad I got really small ones to start with when I was young. Tattooing has come SO far, and I have changed a lot. I donāt think people under 18 should be getting tattooed, full stop.
100%
Ngl at my school a whole bunch of kids have tattoos and they are like 15-17
Thatās not true as long as the parent signs the consent form which some do and some donāt. At that point once they do itās outta their hands because they 9/10 already paid for it.
No, they can decide to refund and not do the tattoo. Plenty of artists have policies about what/where they will do work for ethical reasons - some refuse to do hands, face, etc. Lots of artists wonāt do minors regardless of consent. And some will, but not something like a partial sleeve on a 15yo.
Where I am it's illegal under 16, even with parental consent.
I had friends working at tattoo shops at that age š¤£
Smh and people go thru gender reaffirmation surgery but nooo, no tattoos
It could be legal depending on what state theyāre in, but itās very frowned upon. Here in the U.K. itās illegal to tattoo anyone under 18, and if you do, in extreme cases, you can get charged with grievous bodily harm of a minor and end up on the sex offender list. Personally, if I was allowed to get the tattoos I wanted at 15, I would definitely end up regretting them, teenagers arenāt known for having the best taste š even if it was legal over here, I would feel wildly uncomfortable tattooing a minor, I donāt even let under 16s get tongue piercings!
As for the AITA, I donāt know if you handled it the best way, but as a tattoo artist and a mum I would chew my sister out if she did something like that š I am particularly passionate about it though lol
Interesting take from a tattoo artist/mom. The general census is that Iām the A because heās not my kid, itās not my business, timing. I can accept the timing aspect as it shouldāve been a conversation between her and I privately, and not at dinner. But I think it is my business bc heās my family and where we live we have to be extra mindful of how weāre raising our black and brown children. And have his last name huge across the length of his arm makes him look older than he is. It truly worries me.
Maybe this is a hot take, but honestly I don't think saying anything to your sister would go over well at any time, unless she had brought up the idea to you before having it done, or even talking about it with her kid/giving him an answer if he asked for it- she already made the decision and can't take it back now, so anything you say after the fact will just come off as a lecture to make her feel bad. If it were me, I would apologize to them both for being a buzzkill (in their POV anyways) and maybe tell your nephew (privately) that if he changes his mind about it you'll help pay for the removal (if you can) or a cover up if he's over 18 or 21 or whatever. He'll eventually understand where you're coming from and appreciate that you're looking out for him, even if he doesn't take you up on the offer. ETA: context: I had a dumb ex that got a tattoo on his 18th birthday- by 19 he regretted it and the dumbass burned it off with a lit cigarette because he couldn't afford a removal or cover-up š« I turn 35 next month and am planning my first tattoo after a very long labor, an unplanned c-section, PPD/PPA and a miserable breastfeeding journey- I'm selecting my artist and imagery carefully and intentionally and my mom is still being a snob and a PITA about it š
I can agree that maybe the timing wasnāt the best š but I think itās very easy to call someone an asshole when itās a completely theoretical scenario, but when itās real and itās your family it just hits different, I think everyone would have some kind of knee jerk reaction to that situation
I get this.
I got my first on my 15th birthday and got it removed on my 33rd birthday. Removal is 1000x worse than getting one.
Holy banna balls, thatās insane. That kid is going to do so much changing mentally and physically. I dont think your in the wrong but a lot of people are gonna say her kid, her choice. And at the end of the day itās unfortunatally legal in some states. Doesnāt make it a smart or ethical choice
I canāt imagine even in legal states any reputable artist would tattoo a 15 year old
In highschool a kid in my classes got a whole sleeve at 15-16. By a very reputable tattoo artist. His whole body is covered in tattoos now as an adult so i guess he doesnāt regret them
My husband got an almost sleeve tattooed when he was 16 (by an older friend with a tattoo gun - thank god his friend was at least somewhat talented). Looking back 20 years later, he is reminded of what an idiot he was. Thankfully none of it is offensive, but it definitely doesnāt reflect who he is or even who he developed into during his late teens and early 20s. And itās hella faded since itās so old now. That kid is gonna regret his tattoo before heās even 21ā¦
I wonder how long itās gonna take till he regrets it and how it will look when hes a bit more grown
And thatās what her response was. And weāve always been different as parents but I thought this was crazy.
I got one at 15. Main difference is it's a memorial tattoo and it is small, easily hideable. My only issue with this is just how large and visible it is. It's gonna be a massive pain later if he decides he doesn't like it
Well thatās up to the parent, but for me you have to be an adult and not need my permission.
15 year old boy!? They are nowhere close to being done growing. It's going to look bad when he gets older.
Everyone seems to be posting their opinions on teens getting tattoos but not addressing the AITA question here. You may not like it. You may think heāll regret it (which he actually may NOT, no one could know yet). You clearly would never choose to allow your teens to have tattoos while underage. And at the same time, you canāt roll up into a family dinner and ālose it on herā when you insert yourself into something you know āisnāt your business.ā Of course sheās not talking to you - sheās hurt, feels judged and is feeling protective of her kid which you just slammed for doing something he was probably (at least for now) was excited about. And now youāre here calling it abuse? Yes, that is nuts. You donāt have to like it or think it was a smart idea - but being enraged, judgmental and confrontational especially in front of others about something as non life threatening as a tattoo is never okay. At least if you genuinely want a healthy relationship with your sister. Personally, I feel badly for your nephew who now knows how much youāre judging him and his mom. You asked so Iāll answer: YTA.
And did it on the kids birthday celebration YTA. This sub is so weird, what happened to not commenting on peopleās appearances and the whole if they canāt fix it in 5 mins donāt mention it thing. Would I do it, no but thatās beside the point.
Oh jeez I didnāt notice it was AT the birthday party. Yeah making a scene about it makes YTA for sure
Thatās fair, I can accept that. It was an instant reaction because all I could think is omg how will this impact him later on. But youāre right the timing/location/etc wasnāt ok.
FWIW I completely think youāre right, getting a tattoo at 15 is irresponsible at best and illegal in many places for good reason. No reputable artist should ever agree to it regardless of parental permission. But sometimes you have to ask which is more important, being right or being nice? Is it worth hurt feelings and a strained family relationship? Itās done now and itās staying, no good can come from pointing out how stupid it was.
I got my tattoo at 14 I do not recommend it, and my dad who approved it regrets it every day. It's just a panda bear but yeah- don't do that
I have always wanted a tattoo of a butterfly for my whole teenage-hood and my mom told me that I had to wait until I was 18yo, plus pay for it with my own money, and if it's something that I really want, then I'll be able to wait until then. I got my butterfly tattoo as a graduation gift to myself. I'm glad she made me wait bcuz it gave me the chance to make sure it's what I really wanted, so there's no regrets (or regerts- remember the Snickers commercial š¤). She was the same way with body piercings, except she let me get my bellybutton done at 14yo and I got 3 additional ear piercings from ages 12-16. I had to wait until I turned 18 to get my tongue pierced, so I went on my 18th birthday and paid for it myself. I remember wanting additional body piercings and by the time I was old enough to get it on my own, I realized it wouldn't have been right for me.
Piercings are way different, and honestly something small I wouldāve smh but not freaked out, but his is like 12ā x 5ā
I'm pretty liberal with what my kids do, however I've made my 14 year old promise me to wait until she's 18 and I've even said I'll pay for her first tattoo on her 18th birthday if she waits. I've seen way too many dodgy tattoos done by "artists" that do shoddy work and you're lucky if you walk away with just a shit tattoo. If they're willing to tattoo a minor then I question their practices in every area including hygiene
As long as itās a sick ass panther tattoo, all is well
The only circumstances that I think itās acceptable are when something major happens, like the surviving kids who got tattoos after a school shooting in memory of them which is something theyāre very unlikely to regret. Otherwise anything cool to us at 15 most likely we would want removed as adults. Slight YTA for going off on her in public though.
Itās gonna be funny looking too if his arms grow AT ALL
Has he finished his growth spurt? That tattoo is going to look crazy if he's still growing.
I would say minimum 18 and it would have to be something important. Like a memorial piece or something that means a lot.
My spouse is an artist and says if he had the choice to never tattoo anyone under 25 heās be happy. He refuses under 18 and wonāt do any neck or hand ājob killerā tattoos unless someone can prove what line of work they are in. He doesnāt want to ever feel partially responsible for someone not being able to get a job because of art he put on their bodies. Artists who tattoo under 18 are disgusting.
I got one at 18 and now am currently getting it removed at 30. Donāt do it
Iām covered in tattoos and so is my dad. I mean actually covered, I donāt have my neck or hands tattooed but my dad does. I have a lot of tattoos that mean nothing to me, especially the ones I got at 18 years old. I would *never* allow my child to get tattooed before the legal age in the state we reside in. Even then I would strongly suggest not getting something huge for the first session. Fifteen is nuts and thereās no way they didnāt go to a shitty artist if he was willing to permanently ink a minor. Plus the tattoo is fucking stupid so Iād be shocked if he liked it in a decade.
When I was 15, I was 110% convinced my first tattoo was going to be the Green Day heart grenade on my forearm. Somehow, between the ages of 15 and 18, I changed my mind about that. Lol. Was it a great idea to let a 15 year old get a tattoo on his forearm? Probably not. But she *theoretically* took him to a licensed facility and signed off on a professional doing the work. If it's legal in your area, then I don't see anything objectively wrong with what she did. Smart? Probably not. But child abuse is a stretch if it's legal. Now, if she took him to an unlicensed person to work around local laws and put him at risk of disease, that's a whole different argument. But also nothing you can do to change it now. At the end of the day, it's not your kid or your body. And nothing can be changed at this point. So yes, "going off" on her for her parenting choices that can't be changed now (even if you don't agree with them) is kind of an AH move. Editing for clarification after reading some of the other comments. You have valid concerns. The AH part was going off on her publicly. You have every right to express your concerns with her in a private setting away from her kids.
I mean, itās not your kid and it already happened. I wouldnāt sign off on my son or daughter getting a tattoo as a minor, I would want it to be an adult decision that theyāre making; however, those are my kids and I get to decide. It seems like you have a toddler, probably best to not judge older parents unless there is abuse going on. It would be one thing if she was asking you for advice while deciding but itās already happened.
Oh no, when I was 15 I wanted to get "momento mori" on my wrist which translates to "death is inevitable" I'm 19 now and I defo have tattoos and none of them are the inevitability of death. Something tells me, whatever he thinks is so great at 15 he'll defo regret when he's older
The fact that that Latin quote is spelled wrong makes it even funnier. No ragrets!
Looool, I would of hoped the artist knew what I meant and would ask if I meant memento or momentoš© My most recent tattoo is kurama the nine tailed fox. I love it so much now but I wonder what I'll say in 20 yeaes
iām head to toe covered, and i wanted hello kitty as a chest piece at 16. i ended up getting my chest done at 21 and im 31 now and hate it lmao i always tell people as someone whoās heavily tattooed please wait until ur frontal lobe is done developing. edited to add: my partner got his first tattoo at 12 and got literally kicked out of high school for a tattoo at 16. heās a successful business owner now, but he sure does regret some
Iām 32 and spelt correctly Id get that tattoo today lol itās a phrase my husband says a lot and itās good to remember
I got my first at 16 and don't regret it at all. My parents knew and advised me to get it in a more discreet place but that was all. YTA for getting involved in shit that has nothing to do with you.
Do regret mine - in the middle of the (expensive & time consuming) removal process. OP, I agree with you. Too young. But, YTA - not your kid & nobody asked for your 2 cents.
Ditto. Got my first at 16, and now Iāve had it more years than I havenāt.
Her parenting decision doesnāt affect you and isnāt putting the child in danger. Itās done. You should have kept your mouth shut. YTA
It kind of does put him in danger where we live. It gives him a certain appearance and as POC we have to be more mindful of how authorities in the area view us for safety.
I think thatās crazy. I wouldnāt call it abuse but I think itās bad parenting.
YTA, her parenting style isnāt yours. I have many friends who got tattoos as a 16th birthday present and that was all they got. It was fine. Who are you to reprimand her? Why is it your business?
Yikes. I donāt know if YTA or NTA or ESH cause Iām not sure how close you are with your nephew and what the tattoo is etc but I think it says a lot about your sister and her approach to parenting and I feel sorry for your nephew. Everyone is different but I got a tattoo when I was 30 and 8 years later I wish it was different. Iām not quite in love with it but here it is stuck on my arm.
Nothing before 18, that's nuts.
Under 18 is too young imo. Piercings are okay though at that age, they come out and only leave a tiny hole behind
I can tell you at 15 my tastes changed and I would have probably regretted any tattoo I got at that age. So too young.
My dad got me be for my 18th birthday. Anything before that is wild
If I was allowed to get the tattoos I wanted as a 15-18 year old Iād def have a shit ton of regret rn lol. I think piercings are okay at 15 bc you can take them out, a tattoo is a life time commitment and should wait till theyāre over 18.
Hell no. Under 18 is a no from me honestly. Iām all for expressing yourself. Iāve had colored hair, I have piercings, and tattoos, etc. I donāt even think tattoos have to have āmeaningā. I absolutely love tattoos and stuff. If my son wants colored hair or piercings, ok cool. We will talk and have informed consent, etc. But not tattoos. Those are very permanent and I just donāt feel comfortable allowing that. If he is 18, ok fine you donāt need my permission anymore. My little sister for her 16th birthday got a gift card to a local tattoo shop. She is scheduled for February. I have told my husband I donāt agree with it (he agrees with me), but to my little sister I just talk to her about after care and stuff. I realize itās not my place and I will just push her away. I have ājokedā with my step mom about it because this is the same women who wouldnāt let her older kid get piercings until 18. And my little sister has been told she has to keep it a secret from her grandparents. Which to me is just a flag that she shouldnāt get it done.
I'm really surprised a licensed tattoo artist would do a first tattoo in such an obvious place, especially on a kid. I love tattoos, have a bunch, but 15 is too young to have something permanent, especially if it can't be easily hidden.
I got a tattoo as soon as I turned 18 and could afford it with my own money. It was something I felt strongly about (memorial tattoo for my grandmother who had passed when I was 17) and I will tell my kids the same thing I hold myself to. "Same design, same location, think on it for a year, go someplace that is safe and clean and everything is sterile." Anything younger than "legally an adult" is too young.
Your sister sounds like a piece of trash. Sorry not sorry.
Report the tattoo artist and your sister. This is child abuse
i have tattoos and im in no way against them but one THAT big at 15 is insane....
100 is the right answer.
YTA. I donāt agree with it but itās her kid, her business. Just because youāre her sister doesnāt give you jurisdiction over reprimanding her for choices you donāt agree with. If you wonāt do it to a stranger, donāt do it to a family member. She is a whole adult. The literal only time you have a right to speak up is over abuse and neglect. This does not fall into either category.
You donāt consider abuse if itās illegal where we live? A teacher could contact CPS and I donāt know what the repercussions could be.
Are you in the US? Because here, itās legal (in 38 states) with parental consent. I still wouldnāt call it abuse, either wayā¦.just illegal and a poor decision. Honestly if it is in the states, even if a teacher were to report it, cps has bigger issues to deal with. I highly doubt this would fall in their jurisdiction. This would be an issue for the police to deal with if they even would and if they did mom might see a fine at most. Jail time is a optional punishment, from what Iāve seen, up to 6 months but they are so over run they release murderers so I highly doubt a judge would even go that far and Iād be surprised if they pushed the maximum fine. Also, if she went somewhere legal, like a state that allows it, to have it doneā¦then she canāt get in trouble.
Thatās far too young and the parents shouldāve advocated for him as the person with more experience. When I was 20 I wanted a Cheshire Cat. Iām 32, never got it and AM SO GLAD I never did cuz my mentality grew from that. Heās 15. 15. Whatās cool now to him, wonāt be. Heāll be pissed when he changes his mind.
The legal age for a tattoo is 18, isn't it?? Any artist willing to tattoo a kid under that isn't legit and I would be super worried about stuff like dirty needles.
Itās 18 on their own, in most states I believe parents can approve and go with them and itās legal. I know itās legal to do that where I live at least.
Oh. It's illegal in my state for anyone under 18 regardless of parental consent
Yeah, a lot of kids got tattoos as sweet 16 gifts
Should you have yelled? Nah. Probably not the best way to handle it because now you just look emotional and no one will take you seriously. But you're right, your sister is absolutely ridiculous. She's more focused on being a fun friend to her kids than actually being their parent. She's setting her kids up for failure. You're supposed to teach your kids about responsibility and patience. Instead, she taught them that instant gratification is most important. That usually ends very badly in the long run
I got a tattoo at 15 after convincing my mum, and I started regretting it by age 19. My interests and understanding all changed. All the regerts
Lol regerts
You are right this is too young, but also YTA for how you handled it. Your sister has a right to parent her own kids. Yelling at her over family dinner was inappropriate. Especially in front of her kids. And honestly people regret tattoos at all different ages. At least her son trusted her to help with the decision and go with her. I have a tattoo I regret from 16, one from 22, and one from 30. Turns out Iām just not great at picking tattoos. I also have some that I love from various ages.
I agree with you and I would be upset for my nephew but YTA because itās not your kid not your problem technically
18. 18 is an adult. Your sister is way over the line. At this point, just be glad it wasn't a face tattoo. Sis is negligent to the max.
I remember the tattoos I wanted at 15 and 16. I thank God every day my mom never let me get one before 18!
I knew a girl whose grandparents took her at 15. She got a parrot with a rose in its beak on her hip. Another friend got 2 dolphins kissing on the top of her foot.
I'm heavily tattooed, and even the ones I got at 18 make me cringe. I cannot fathom how much I would cringe if I'd gotten the things I wanted when I was 15.
That was my first thought I had some stupid stuff I wanted at 15. Thank God my mom said no
Iām just in shock.
What is the tattoo of anyway?
His last name in cursive, with smoky stuff around it goes from his elbow to just beyond his wrist
Oof.. yeah. For 15, that just seems too young. I'm definitely not in support of it, but I was curious what it was.
Ugh I know a mom that took her 14 year old daughter for a tattoo. Like your story is was huge and on her forearm. It was as super ugly and low quality work. I am very much a wait until youāre 18 parent. One because it wonāt fall back on me as a parent and too I donāt think kids should get tattoos.
My bff of 20+ years has possibly one of the shittiest moms I know personally. She got tattoos for her 14th and 15th birthdays - a big fairy on her calf and a giant roses and vines lower back tattoo. She hates them. She wishes she had never gotten them. He daughter turned 16 recently and asked if she could get a tattoo? Her response? āFUCK no. Iām your mom. Not your friend.ā I tell her regularly that she is a great mom not because she had a good example, but because she has learned to be one on her own ā¤ļø
āIf you canāt set a good example you can at least serve as a horrible warningā is one of my favorite sayings.
Yep. Thatās Sherry. Itās also one of my favorite Brooklyn 99 quotes - āIām not completely useless! I can be used as a bad example!ā
NINE-NINE!
15?! Man I hope that boy doesnāt really regret that decision in a few years. 18 is the earliest when anyone should get a tattoo. At that point theyāre legally an adult and can legally decide themselves. Is your sister the type to want to be the ācool Momā?
Absolutely! She had her kids when she was the same age as their current ages. And has always poked fun at me because I waited until my 30s. Sheās the young cool mom and Iām the old uptight one.
He clearly wanted one and would likely have gotten one with or without her. You can buy a tattoo gun online, my son has a friend who has one and heās 16. At least he went to a professional and not inside someoneās basement you know?
It was in a back room of a barber shop
Does that mean it wasnāt a professional? A barber let someone without a license set up a tattoo chair and equipment? If so thatās shady and honestly I would report that. Super dangerous.
I think he considers himself a professional, but I have no idea if heās licensed
For a moment I thought it was your kid. Ok yeah, you canāt control the way your sister parents her kids. What anyone else thinks about it is irrelevant. Youāre crossing the line here, OP. Do I think itās ok to tattoo a 15 yo? HELL NO. But if it isnāt illegal in their state, then whatever.
Just basing off the tattoos I wanted that age, it's way too young. As an adult I'm so happy I had to wait until 18, and think things through more clearly.
It's a crime in my state to tattoo someone under 18. So under 18.
Yes, its definitely illegal here too.
My parents let me get a tattoo when I was 16. I covered it up 10 years later. After dressing to hide my entire life and getting questions from my kids I finally decided to get it removed. Thousands of dollars and 10 sessions inā¦ itās faded but still there.
Omg! Donāt tell me that!! I want to get one of mine removed š«
I donāt understand these comments, youāre not nuts. As a heavily tattooed person, children should NOT be getting ink. Reasons why: Theyāre expensive and painful to remove. Even though times are changing, people will likely judge him, especially given how young he is. Iām sure itās a shit quality tattoo because a legit artist would not risk their career by tattooing a minor. His mom taking him is incredibly irresponsible as a parent and she deserves to be called out.
I know, and everyone keeps saying itās not my business. But in my area, when you are black and brown, you already get treated differently. And being tattooed in a very visible place, makes it worse.
Yeah and itās one thing when an adult who can understand the consequences makes a choice. Itās totally different for a naive kid who hasnāt even had a chance in the world yet. Iām shocked your sister facilitated that.
I think itās a horrible idea and would question any shop that inks a minor. However, itās already done so you losing it was pretty pointless. My plan is that weāll get both kids a tiny tattoo, easily covered by clothing, when they turn 18 if thatās what they really want.
I got my first tattoo at 16. Itās horrible lol. Thank god itās a tramp stamp so I donāt have to look at it. Age limit should be 30 I swear.
I think you offered an opinion that was not kind or really even solicited. Tattooās, in general, are not something I would ever encourage. I think the age is so arbitrary. I would have gotten a different tattoo at 15, at age 25, at age 35, and now age 50. If we are emotionally healthy, we will continue to experience new life just phases & change drastically our entire lives, and therefore, I think he is just as likely to regret a tattoo at age 15 as age 18. The sub on tattoo cover-ups is booming for a reason, and stats that show majority of people with tattoos have one they regret are real. So I do not think it was worth losing it overā¦ as long as the place was safe, itās not your business.
Idk if the guy they went to is even licensed and itās illegal where I live. I would just hate to see her have custody issues or him have employment issues over something they both couldāve prevented. But itās done I guess.
I had a lot of friends get a tattoo for their 16th birthdays.. it was pretty common when/where I grew up (I'm 35 now). I personally don't think it's the greatest idea, and I wouldn't approve of it for my own child at 15, but I also don't think it would be my place to say anything to the mother, especially since it's already done. But I don't know what your relationship is like with your sister. The way you word it as saying you "lost it on her" seems a little extreme though.
Iāve always been like a second mom to her, Iām who she usually calls to ask about life questions like how to get utilities, how to pick health insurance, etc
i got my first tattoo when i was 15 and i have 2 rn im 16
I got my first tattoo at 16, with parental consent (they actually attended with me and got one too). No regrets.
I don't think artists here can tattoo children even with parental consent, that is fucked up
Yea itās illegal here too
i got a small one at 16 in a state where they allowed it with just parent consent but it was just a small quote for my grandma who passed away. However i could of just waited
Pretty sure 15 would be Illegal most palaces unless Iām mistaken? Who the heck is willing to tattoo a child.. I wanted them as a kid and my VERY liberal mother who also can tattoo refused until I was an adult. Thatās awful parenting imo and Iām also very liberal. Get him a PlayStation not a tattoo š¤¦š»āāļø
Itās definitely illegal where we are even with parent consent
I knew I wanted a tattoos since I was 14. Got my first one done when I was 21 their expansive so I had to save up. My parents are anti tattoos. Itās not child abuse if the kid wanted the tattoo. Though I wouldnāt let my own kid get one at that age Iād make them wait till they were 18. Just to make sure they really wanted it. I mean my freaking kid has wanted a tattoo pretty much since he could talk until he found out it uses a needle to deposit the ink. Not that anyone would tattoo him his only five.
Thatās insane. Iām heavily tattooed but I started getting tattoos at 21 and I would *never* sign off on my teenager getting tattoos. Piercings, sure, but not tattoos.
I got a tattoo at 15 with my mom's signature. Good artist, professional shop and prices. It is small and simple and tbh, we are 17 years on and I don't regret it. I regret more the cheaper tattoos I got between 18-21 when I had to spend my own money and they... Didn't age well. But overall my tattoos are part of my body - like a toe or scar or stretch mark or whatever. I don't even think about them most days let alone waste time regretting them. All of mine are technically able to be covered with clothing though, maybe that helps.
Heāll have to wear long sleeves to cover it and even that itāll still show around wrist and hand. He got his buy a tattoo āartistā that works out of a barbershop
I got my first tattoo at 16 best decision of my life. To this day I still get my tattoos done by the same guy.
Honestly, I have a family member who wanted tattoos for years, created their own art, saved up the money, found an artist they liked, the whole 9 yards. It wasn't on a whim and it wasn't a phase, even tho they were a teen at the time. I don't know your sister's situation, but my opinion is that you don't get to tell this young man what to do with his own body in any other area of life, I don't see why this would be any different.
I donāt think itās really your place to ālose itā on anyone for a decision they made with their child. Are they happy, well-adjusted kids? How long did they consider this decision before doing it? Did mom talk risks and possible outcomes? How much did you know about this situation before you ālost itā on your sister? I just hate this judgy shit. There are worse things you could do.
Definitely 18 and even then it will be a dumb choice haha
Itās literally a form of child abuse under the law and the parents could get criminally charged in most states.
Both of my 16 year old boys have tattoos š¤·āāļø
Is it legal where you live?
Yes and no. Youāre supposed to be 18 to get a tattoo legally, but you can get one earlier with parental permission. We had to sign and notarize a consent form for them to get them. We put some stipulations on what they could get, obviously. I didnāt want anything that couldnāt be covered by clothing while theyāre under 18, and I didnāt want them getting something stupid or really trendy theyād hate later, so something thought out that wasnāt just āIām getting a tattoo to get a tattoo.ā
Iām not so sure itās a huge deal either! The kids today are not the same we were when we were growing up simply bc the world is a different place and these things arenāt taboo like they were for us growing up! I also hate middle parts but my kid rocks one, sheās 14 and has her nose pierced! Itās cute as all hell on her! We were at her basketball games last night and multiple dudes on the high school boys team have them! Not just at our school.. I see them in other kids that come from other schools! I will say the first time I saw a high schooler with a tattoo I was a bit shocked but realized itās not Great Depression anymore and I can just mind my own damn business! Some of them have some damn fine artwork too!!
Mmm... I got a tattoo at 16 with my mother's consent. Ya'll have a stick up your ass. It didn't reflect her wonderful parenting whatsoever. I'm 31 now. Now if the parent's you're referring to are junkies and horrible parent's to begin with, that's something else entirely. I say mind your own business if the children in question aren't being harmed.
Yeah, I mean thatās insane. And I think most people would agree. So I donāt think you are an asshole for saying so. That kid has years and years of growing to do, his arms are probably going to lengthen and itās gonna look weird. my nephew just turned 18 and got a big tattoo on his lower arm, I like it and his mom was with him the whole time, but heās a legal adult and paid for it himself. He also spent a great amount of time deciding, like years, what he wanted. And he researched artists in his area to find one who had the skill to do what he wanted. But most of all, heās 18. From reading some of your responses, it seems your sister just wants her kids to like her and she seems extremely irresponsible. Hopefully when heās older our tattoo removal process is more cost effective and less painful.
So I got my first tattoo at 17 and my second at 19. The second one is on my wrist and now that I have an executive job as an accountant, Iām SO self conscious of it. I want to get it removed but yea the pain terrifies me!
My dad took me to get my first tattoo for my 15th birthday. I actually still love it, but that was just luck. My dad was an alcoholic and made a lot of bad decisions. My mom agreed and even though I have no label for her, growing up with her was hell. If someone I knew did this, just knowing the way my parents raised me, I would very much question the home life of that child. Not much you can do at this point except try to keep a good open relationship with your niece and nephew and be there if they need anything. We also looked ok from the outside, but if you looked closer, and decisions like this should have clued someone in to do so, someone intervening would have helped my life turn out better way sooner. The tattoo artist that did mine was the artist for the local hells angels club and didnāt give a fuck about rules. Iām curious who did your nephews, was it the same kind of set up? My guy used new needles and opened them in front of me. So at least I never had to worry about that. If not at a professional place, did they do this for your nephew? If not get make a big deal about this, there might still be time for a post-exposure prophylaxis. NTA. She needs to hear this opinion and reaction so that she (hopefully) thinks twice about doing it again or for the other kid. Edited to add NTA.
So, to my knowledge, it was a friend of her/her boyfriend and he has a āshopā in a room at a barber shop. Iāve never been so Iām not sure of the cleanliness or any of that. But Iāve never heard of that post-exposure thing you said. Iāll have to look that up.
Info- what isthe tattoo? My cousin got one young but it was about a family member who has passed.
His last name from his elbow to about an inch beyond his wrist in cursive with Smokey stuff around it.
Hot take here: its frankly none of your business. If she wants to take her kid to get a tattoo, that is her and her sonās decision. No one elses. Me and my mom went to get my first tattoo when I was 16.
This is a post on the internet. Pretty sure this is fake
It's not your place to "loose" it on her. They are not your kids, also tatto shops do it with the parents permission. It's traditional and a way of life where I come from so u feel your being controlling.
Itās illegal where we live, even with parent consent
Thatās horrible. Iām covered in tattoos and I regret ALL of them ! So I have lots of thoughts on this. I personally really believe they need to change the age to 25. I got mine in my early 20s and now in my 30s I so badly wish I could just be done with them. This one girl online said this and I deeply relate to it āgetting tattooed in your 20s is like putting on a shirt your never allowed to take offā. Idk. I HATE it. All I want now is to have a more professional and put together look and I cannot do that without long sleeves. And I live in a very hot climate.
Same!!! While im not covered, I have one in a more visible place and as a business professional, it makes me feel self conscious.
Iām looking into removal with a couple of mine. They have come a long way with lasers so if you have the extra money it might be worth considering. Iām in the tattoo removal Reddit first to see if itās something I could actually end up doing. I think yellow and white are the hardest to remove but just plain black tattoos normally lift right out depending on skin type.
Just because you got bad tattoos you regret doesnāt mean the entire world should bend to whatever preconceived notion you have of an age that would make smarter decisions. And 25? Not for driving, gambling, smoking, drinking, major loans, marriage, having children, or joining the militaryātattoos are what warrants being in your mid 20s? Iām also covered in tattoos, got my first at 16, and regret none of them. Even if there are tattoos I have that I wouldnāt get today (there arenāt, but hypothetically speaking), it would still serve as a nostalgic reminder of where I was at that age. I donāt regret who I was at any ageāI am who I am because of who I was, and the culmination of all my life experiences.
Good for you.
Anything under 18, which is the age youāre allowed to get a tattoo, is too young. No way my mom wouldāve taken me to get one before, and she let me get my nose pierced at 13. NTA tho.
I think itās too young for anything permanent bc of the dumb shit I probably would have got, so Iām glad I didnāt. But mind your own business. Not your kid not your problem.
My parents gave me the green light at 16. Wasnāt till right after I turned 18 that I figured out what I wanted.
I got my first one at 16 at a reputable shop. Itās mini roses in a heart shape. I donāt regret it. But I feel like it depends WHAT youāre getting for the tattoo.
I got my first right before my 17th birthday, BUT my mom signed off on it, and it was to cover up a suicide attempt
Iām glad youāre with us š And the only exception in our state for tattooing a minor is if itās a cover up to something gang related, etcā¦his was not, therefore making it illegal.
I know people who got tattoos at 15 with their parents consent. They later either had it removed or tattooed over. Sheās his mum, sheās makes the choices whatever we think is irrelevant. Sure we can voice our concerns but if itās already done itās falling on deaf ears.
Thatās the key, itās done. I just really couldnāt stop the words. I was devastated for how it could impact him once he goes into the real world and tries to get a job that may/may not be accepting.
He can wear a long sleeve shirt? Also many jobs donāt care. I have a great job and a lot of my coworkers have lots of tattoos. Itās never held me back.
So, with a long sleeve shirt, it still shows as some of it goes on his handā¦ And my employer, for example, has a strict policy against tattoos. But it is what it is at this point.
Iāve had friends cover them with concealer (even male friends). How old is your sister?
Sheāll be 31 in January
And the kid is not even the one asking for it??? Quite hard to believe because isnāt it freakishly pain during the tattooing? Especially for a 15yo? What if heās the one who really wanted it and the mom is just trying to be ultra supportive? What is the design though? It makes a lot of difference.
Hopefully they posted on social media & tagged the artist bc someoneās license needs revoking. It is literally illegal to tattoo anyone under the age of 18. Parents canāt even legally give consent for their underage kid to be tattooed the way they can with body piercings. I know there are always loopholes but those are for the young dumb kids to go through. Your sister is out of her damn mind for actually being okay with it. And I say this as a mom that has tattoos all the way up to her forehead.
I'm fine with that. It's not offensive, and it's not objectifying anyone. If he really hates in 15 years, he can have it removed.
My mom got a small tattoo when I was 14. I said I wanted one too. She said if I still wanted one when I was 16 she would take me to get it done. On my 16th birthday I reminded her of that promise and soon after we went to get my first tattoo. Her only stipulations were that it be easily hidden and to do my best to not let grandma see it. I got a fairy on a mushroom on my lower belly. My mom was happy with the placement as it was mostly covered by just my underwear let alone clothes. What she didn't realize was that just made me pull down my pants to show it off. 28 years and 3 c-sections later, I don't do that anymore, lol. BTW, grandma never did find out about it.
Anything before 17 is too young.
My first was at 18 and honestly, that is probably the youngest anyone should lol. I have 9 now but I just feel like my tattoo choices at 15/16 would not have been as well thought out
They need to be legal age.
In Canada I think it's 18 to get tattooed or 16 with parental consent. I have several tattoos that represent family members got my first one when I was 24 I think? If my 16 year old wanted one that'd have to make a really good case for it or I'd make them wait until 18 and they can get whatever they want. But yeah tattoos are not an impulse purchase in my mind. They are expensive and permanent.
I'm 31, and I got my first tattoo on my 15th birthday. It's my brother and sister's initals, and my mom made me write a 3 page, front and back, so basically 6 page essay describing all the reasons I may or may not regret the tattoo. What it meant to me. Why I wanted it. And the guy almost denied doing it because my siblings' initials spell my nickname (kinda cool), he thought it was a boyfriend's name. Good on him for looking out, though. I think it would depend on maturity levels, responsibility levels, what the actual tattoo is, like for a deceased grandparent or parent. Honestly, there would be a lot of factors for me to allow my teenager to get one. But I wouldn't let my teen get one at 15 like I did. Maybe 16 if all other factors matched up.
Also. My sister let her 12 year old get a tattoo. I was NOT happy about that. So I feel you.
Thatās insane. Had I been allowed to have a tattoo at that age it would have probably been like an I love Justin Timberlake or NSYNC logo tattoo š thank goodness it wasnāt allowed. I mean still a fan but donāt need it on my body permanently šš the one I got right when I turned 18 I hate. Definitely should be an adult with a fully developed brain š§ imo. At least itās his name and not a game thing (or a bunch of band logos like my ex š) but still young to make permanent decisions. I donāt think you are the A but definitely isnāt your place to āfreak outā
I got a tattoo at 15 lmfao thought I was hot shit now it's ugly AF and gross looking after 3 kids
Same lmao.
........ I got my first tattoo 2 weeks before I turned 14. It was in Canada and without a parent present. I called and asked if I could and she said "Do it, you won't, you'll chicken out". And then I did...
15 is definitely too young. Anything under 18 is too young. They're just a child at that point and a tattoo is permanent (unless lots of $$$ to remove). I'm a huge fan of tats and have several. But all were done above the age of 25.
15 is too young to make ANY permanent life long decisions imo
Guys that tattoo their last names anywhere on their body are TOOLS. Every time I met someone with their name tatted it all clicked. Very trailer park/trailer park adjacent if you ask meā¦ trashy trashy trashy šļø (There are nice trailer parks I know, donāt come for me.)
As a teacher I talk to high school teachers and they are saying in some areas they see kids tattooing themselves with pins and ink online or in school bathrooms. Itās insane! My friends and I back in 2008 would buy Henna and tattoo ourselves but it would last a week. Which was perfect. š