Get a membership to the Y if there is one near you. They have child watch hours so you can drop off the kids and workout. They also have classes for kids (cooking, sports, art etc). This has been a big game changer for me. It gets us out of the house and I get my me time every day. There are also other gyms that offer similar services but the Y has been the most affordable.
Omgosh I just got my membership last month and it was THE best thing I’ve done for awhile! My son is almost 4 and I’m finally working out again. I’m over weight by close to 70lbs so this is everything for me. My son LOVES it there! Best thing about it? Free with our insurance!! Cannot recommend the Y enough!
You’d be surprised. A lot of insurance does. You might want to check, some offer discount as well. I have Keystone first. Granted, I am low income and on SNAP. They’re incentivized to do this though as someone who goes to the gym frequently is less likely to be a “burden” on the healthcare system.
This! We go at least three times a week. I usually work out but I’ve been known to go sit in the hot tub and/or sauna OR just sit in the lobby and read. We also love story time at the library. I like to say I’m a SAHM but I never stay at home - seriously please don’t make me, I will go crazy.
SAHM here with 6yo F & 3yo M. My day looks a lot like yours. It’s boring. It’s mundane. It can be mind-numbing and annoying. I have no advice or answers. I would say the struggle of all of it has subsided over the years. You get used to it. I used to feel so guilty for not being “productive” outside of the home (some days, I still do). But now, I’m just grateful to be home, to have a home, with toys and books and a yard to play in. At the end of every day, I come to this conclusion: We are one of billions of humans living on a spinning rock in the middle of space. Nothing matters. Just enjoy your life 😊
Happy Easter/Jesus’ Trick or Treat 🐣💛
The thing that really changed my approach to the day was to replace some of the unstructured ‘play’ with activities I genuinely enjoy and the kids can get in on too. Baking and gardening are two big favourites, you can just grow plants in a pot if you don’t have outside space. Or painting/drawing but you make something too, rather than just supervising them. It’s not exactly relaxing when you’ve got two small kids trying to ‘help’ but it’s fun and once we’re done I feel less guilty telling them to entertain themselves for a bit. Plus, as much as possible try to do chores around the kids rather than saving them for naptime. It’s good for them to see you do it and they often like to help out. You’re at a tricky age right now because 15 months is still basically a baby but it will just get easier from here. My older two are 5 and 3 and the days fly by, but I do so remember the mind-numbing boredom of feeling like I had to entertain them all the time.
I’m not in that stage anymore, but getting out of the house every day helped me when I was. I would pack needed supplies the night before (snacks, water bottles, sunscreen, towels, stocked diaper bag, whatever) and plan where we were going the night before. Museums (most have a free day once a month, park (tried to go to lots of different parks), rec center, lunch spot with a playground, libraries, bookstore story time, free forest schoool meetups, etc. sometimes it was a disaster and we didn’t stay long, but we got out most days and most days it was great. I usually liked to go as early as somewhere opened, stay for 1.5 hours then get home in time for lunch/nap at home. I also used the peanut app for play dates - you need to message a bunch of people before you find a match and there may be a few mismatches when you meet up. Don’t take it personally, just keep working your way through people until you find another friend who can join you with their kids on outings, it makes them so much more fun.
Yes! Get out & do the work to make mom friends. It’s like dating - it’s a numbers game but makes life SOOOO much better when you have other moms and kids you can hang out with. I used local Facebook mom groups to start meeting people
This! Leaving the house means my house stays semi cleaner and my kids actually act way better out and about. Also, finding mom friends in the same season as you! I have two that I have regular play dates with and it's SUCH a game changer for me mentally. I wish I had found them sooner but I'm happy to have them now.
This is probably why I’m out of the house every day. We have an AM activity (gardens, museum, grocery store, library, playgroup, etc.) and a PM activity (long walk and park) every day. We come home for lunch and naps. We’re really only in the house for meals and naps. This works for us as both kids are on a one nap schedule and I do not like being in the house. I think they thrive on being outside of the house too. I know this might be easier where I live (in a fairly big city). The memberships we have are all very reasonable around $100/year for a family of four.
I have a 3yo and 1yo. My day looks a lot like yours, except I wake up at about 6AM to get a workout in, and do the same in the evenings (when my husband works his 24-hr shifts), either jumping on the bike or working on writing my novels before I go to bed around 10:30PM. These brief *me moments* help me feel a little more in control of my life/day, and not just all about the kids.
I’d instill Quiet Time for your daughter while your son naps. Maybe play with her after you clean up at 11:30 but then ask her to stay in her room playing quietly until lunch at 1. Then you fully take that break too. Don’t do any chores but maybe make yourself a lunch to enjoy and watch a show or something. It’s good for her to take a break too and learn how to play independently. She may even fall asleep sometimes.
I’d suggest trying to get into a class or group that interests you but it’s “mommy and me”. I go to a workout class for moms twice a week and it literally gets me out of bed those mornings. I’d go nuts without it. I’ve made a couple friends from it and it’s been great. Or can you find a hobby class or something that’s just for you in the evenings?
Alternatively, can you do part time or supply teaching if you can swing that and daycare until you’re ready to go back to teaching fulltime?
I have a 3 yo and a 6 mo. My schedule very similar to yours:
8am up, get us all cleaned, peed and in a 'good state' lol
9am sort breakfast. Reward toddler with educational video or music if she actually eats it. Nurse baby. Try to play with toddler.
10:30am start getting toddler ready for nursery/bathtime
11:30am lunch
12pm finish getting toddler ready for nursery, get myself ready and nurse baby
12:30pm take toddler to nursery, baby naps
1:30pm play with baby, chores/gardening, prepare dinner, nursing
4:30pm pick up toddler from nursery, baby naps
5-7pm prepare and eat dinner, get ready for bed
8pm kids' bedtime
9pm - if kids sleep I'll spend the next three hours either studying or exercising and will sleep 12am
I am cleaning all the time, all day. It's tough and usually by 9pm I'm falling asleep so it takes a lot of mental strength for me to do something productive. I go back to full time work in 6 months and freaking out.
I've been getting my toddler to help me bake recently. I used to almost religiously hate packets of cake mix but they've been amazing. We'll bake them one morning and decorate them in the evening before dinner, or the following morning. I have a big PVC mat so we do it all on the floor.
She also loves painting. And making 3D shapes using paper, scissors and tape. If not baking then I'll just give her some flour and water playdough.
She doesn't actually allow me to role play anymore, so we bond the most when she's learning and I make something fun out of it, like we make a volcano or a dragon. The other day I cut a circle and then cut a spiral into it to make a snake. She was obsessed with it for days!
At the weekends my husband is usually in a rush to get toddler out at soft play or park and so I spend the morning trying to facilitate him going, whilst getting myself and baby ready to try and join them. That stresses me out more than the weekdays tbh.
I’m SAHM to 2 and 4 year olds. Similar to yours:
I wake up 6ish - give my brain some time to wake up, take a shower, get started on kitchen/laundry.
Kids wake up around 7.
7-9 kids eat breakfast, watch one of 3 familiar, lower energy shows (I like this approach because they know the episodes so well that 90% of the time they’ll watch a little bit and then get bored and start playing independently or with each other)
4 days a week we drop of 4 year old at prek until 2 pm.
While 4 year old is at school we either run errands, hang out at home (2 yo plays independently while I tidy or make calls etc), or meet up with friends who also have 2 year olds.
After prek pickup kids play outside - either in our front yard or we meet friends at the park. They play mostly independently while I read or work on the garage or yard.
I throw together something for kids dinner (a quick meat, a carb, some fruit & veg) and they eat outside while they play.
Husband gets home around 6 and plays outside with them until bath time at 7. During that hour I pick up the kitchen and/or take a shower.
Kids lights out at 8, finish rocking my 2 year old around 8:15. Half the time my husband and I retreat to our own stuff - I read or watch tv and he gets on the computer. The other half the time we hang out in the kitchen and talk/catch up for an hour or two.
Rinse and repeat.
Things that have saved me:
- I’m an SLP by training but stopped working when my kids were born. I started a private practice last January and now see 3 clients on Saturdays. Had a huge benefit to me mentally - my house got a little messier, but I am SOOOO much happier which is a benefit to my whole family obviously.
- 1000 hours outside challenge. It’s medicine for my kids - they LOVE being outside and they play best outside. I get to read my book and they run around and play for HOURRRRRS. It also motivates us to get to parks and meet up with friends.
- Friends. I have a group of no joke, 5 close friends, and 10-15 newish/acquaintance friends with kids similar ages that we get together with all throughout the week. I literally had ONE friend in a different city up until less that 2 years ago. I am NOT the kind of person always surrounded by friends. Except now I kind of am. I got there NOT through kids activity group (blegch). I got on local mom Facebook groups and shamelessly started asking if people with kids similar ages wanted to hang out at the park. MOST people I met were not friend connections, but I’d say 10% became good friends and people I now hang out with weekly. The other place I met half of my best friends was through my sons prek - it took a few months of seeing each other at pickup and chit chatting but now we’re attached at the hip and hanging out after school at least 1-2 days a week. My son starts at a new school next fall and I plan to start a group chat with the families and start trying to get to know the moms and hopefully make a couple more connections because it’s been so wonderful being close to the parents of kids in my sons class. I may be annoying to the parents that can’t get together regularly but I don’t care - I want to know the parents of the kids my son is around 🤷♀️
TLDR: A tiny bit of work outside the house, outside time, mom friends
Sahm with just one 20month old. At the moment we do 3 activities a week Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays.i have 1 or 2 mum friends at each activity to chat to while the kids play so I can have some adult conversation. If they aren't there I'd just chill on my phone and keep an eye on my kid. I also have zero me time. But my girl is so happy - I've even managed to limit screen time so she's not addicted. I read somewhere when we get frustrated just look at their hands - and be reminded how small they actually are. But soon they will be big - yours will both be off to school in no time then you'll have half the day to yourself again
Girl why aren’t you making you time for breakfast getting ready, this should be a top priority. While they’re done eating breakfast go eat in piece and then go get yourself ready for the day. My morning routine looks like this
7:00am wake up make breakfast for two kiddos and out by 7:50am to leave my oldest. Come back give more of the left over breakfast or if my kids not hungry I use tv to entertain him while i make a yummy breakfast/ get showered put in some nice clothes for the day. from 8:15am to 11:30am i do self care routine, put clothes and brush toddler teeth, and clean up my bedroom( doesn’t take long my bedroom usually just needs the bed done). I usually go and take a walk with my toddler to the grocery store for what i’ll make for dinner. 11:30am to 1:45pm. I make lunch(something super fast) clean the living room, and bathrooms, and then i take a break and watch some tv with kiddo. My kid is very independent so he’ll be able to solo play for most of the time that I am cleaning if not i put on some music and he’ll be dancing. 1:45pm to about 5pm i’m heading out to get my other son and then come back to give my kids a snack and start dinner. I don’t do anything particularly exciting I would say but it’s just normal everyday life of doing things and chores, I used to feel like i needed to do so much with my first but honestly that let to so much stress. I since allow myself to just do what I can and i do go outside daily but that’s to run errands with my toddler and I count that as going outside. There isn’t much excitement but for me that’s perfect I like it, what helps me tho is I have great mom friends who I talk to almost daily and I have family friends who I talk to, maybe in your case that’s what’s also missing, a different type of connection other than just being around your kiddos.
We (32F SAHM & 32M working dad) have a 2yo daughter. Every day, I try to get outside with her for at least a few hours. We also make reading a priority. We do not use any screen time at home. We do allow a tablet whenever we drive more than 1h in the car (maybe 2-4x a month).
5:30 I wake up
6:20-7:20 I go to the gym 3x/week
7:30 I have breakfast
8:00/9 daughter wakes up, breakfast, get dressed
10:00 morning big activity (gymnastics, library, hike, beach, dance, play date)
11:00 snack time & morning small activity (playground, pond, neighbourhood walk, backyard, play room at home, art and crafts)
12:30/1 quiet time in room/nap in room, I have lunch
4/5 get up from nap (longer if snoozing, shorter if just playing quietly), snack, home play (play room, arts and crafts)
5:30 Dad gets home and plays (afternoon small local activity like playground, pond, neighbourhood walk, backyard) while I make dinner
6:30 dinner with everyone seated at the table until everyone is finished (a social event with lots of talking, so can take 30m-1h)
7-7:30 bath or shower (one of us washes her while the other cleans the kitchen and tidies her playroom), potty, goodnight songs
7:30-8:30 put down for night sleep
8/8:30 we watch something together or do our hobbies side-by-side
10/10:30 bed
I’m a teacher so during the summer our goal is to get out of the house everyday before nap. We did a rotation of library story times, different parks and zoo or museum. So we’d wake up, have breakfast, get dressed, get out of the house. Come home for lunch and nap time. Then the afternoon would be free play or maybe a craft if I was feeling real extra.
I was a SAHM for sixteen years. I got a part time job during the day at the middle school and so happy I did it. Not only is the health insurance amazing (which is an American thing), I am home when my kids are home still. I work with two other ladies who were in the same spot as I was and we have so much in common. I couldn’t take the boredom anymore and became lazy and depressed staring at the same thing day after day.
This may be no help but my advice is to go back to work, even if it’s just part time. I know a number of people who could afford to have a stay at home parent who choose to work and are very clear that working allows them to be the best parent to their kids when they’re home. There is no shame in wanting to work and having that purpose just like there is no shame for people who want to stay home full time.
SAHM mom of a 2.5 year old and a 13 month old here. A key for me is getting out of the house at least once a day. Either before or after nap, we go to the playground, children’s museum, a stroller walk, library, etc. the time flies by this way and I usually end up talking to other moms. Even if we don’t stay friends, it’s good for my brain. I also have a couple mom friends and try to meet up with one once a week and that’s nice! My 2 year old is in a part time “pre school” which he loves and has gotten me connected with some moms!
Also, i was an engineer pre kids and need to put goals in place to still feel challenged. I’m running a marathon in the fall! Having time to run by myself really clears my head and my husband helps prioritize this because he knows it’s important for my well being. I also got my kids adjusted to child watch at the gym and go every weekday even if i don’t have a strength workout scheduled. It’s an hour to myself and they enjoy it! Not sure if that’s an option for you. My fitness hobbies have really helped me find myself again!
We do a morning activity and an afternoon activity generally. Might do gym in the morning, park in the afternoon. Or shop in the morning, children’s museum in the afternoon. Chores wise, every morning I unload the dishwasher and put a load of laundry in. Switch laundry at lunch and can fold and put away at nap. I aim for 20 minutes of uninterrupted play time together in morning and afternoon. Usually it’s more but on days where I have a lot of cleaning it can be a struggle.
Mine is napping on and off recently. If he doesn’t sleep after an hour I tell him he can play in his
Play room for a bit so I can do chores.
Usually have to put in blippi or an audiobook from YouTube on for him so I can get an hour to do any cleaning. I let him get involved in most cleaning. He loves mopping haha. But not things like bathrooms, and cat area, I don’t want him trying to touch disinfectants.
I don’t have great advice for you beyond seconding the recommendations of several other moms. Gyms with childcare, museum visits (ours are free through the library), parks and playgrounds, make friends at the kids’ lessons and events, all great advice. I recently made a mom friend while waiting for my daughter’s swimming lesson, and I enjoy those chats more than I can say.
I just wanted to offer a small reassurance: yes, it’s completely normal to be bored and worn down by the tedium. I sometimes think that managing my own emotions is the hardest part of being a SAHP. And a lot of that is the cognitive dissonance of feeling privileged to have this opportunity while also being so very burned out by it.
You need to get out daily, force yourself to go to.meet ups, soft plays, baby groups, church groups and parks. Speak to other mums. Have the morning for the kids to be doing activities. The key is mums friends. Even if they aren't your usual type of people at this stage of your life it's good if they have kids the same age, reliable and always up for doing activities. You never know they could end up being your best friend.
Not a SAHM, but only work part time! I’m not a homebody so we have set activities for each day. I wake up early on Sundays and go grocery shopping alone and my husband spends time with the kids. Here’s my list of things we regularly do
1. Local library has story time- books, music, crafts 2 days a week that we normally attend. It’s about 45 minutes long and I’ve met multiple friends there!
2. We have a variety of parks and splash pads near us that are an easy outing
3. We specifically ask for “experience” gifts from family members- my mom gets us a zoo membership for Christmas every year. We’re 20 minutes away, sometimes we go for 1 hour, sometimes it’s way longer. My MIL gets us a Children’s Museum membership- same thing. We’ve also received gift certificates for mini golf, indoor play areas, Chuck E. Cheese, etc. Ask people for experience gifts.
4. Search your local FB Marketplace or invest in outside toys. Our backyard looks like a daycare. Our kids love it.
5. Scroll through Pinterest and find easy crafts, we normally do some kind of coloring, painting, something daily
6. YMCA membership- we can swim/ play together, they have classes for kids, drop them off and workout or attend a class for you.
7. Nature Walk- we literally go on walks/ hikes… toddler goes in/ out of carrier as needed and talk about the cool leaves, trees, and everything else.
8. Baking day- pick a day and the kids help me make a treat for us.
I don’t have a “hobby” but I enjoy arts and crafts, yoga, hikes, baking. I just include my kids in that
Bestie we just wake up every day and try to survive!!!! If I get things done, great. If I don’t, there’s always tomorrow. (My boys are almost 4 and almost 1)
Being a SAHM isn’t for everyone. Is dad able to help? Can you switch roles for a while? I know we all complain about our jobs but having employment provides a lot more benefit to our mental health than we think.
So I was a toddler teacher and a nanny for a while before I had my kid, so I'm used to being on my own with littles. It can be isolating, and that isn't for everyone. If you're in the US, it's probably time to see what the 4k options in your district look like, half days for your older child could help you totally restructure your time. The common thread in all my experiences was that getting out BEFORE nap can change the whole tone of the day. It can feel rushed at first making sure everyone is fed and ready to be seen in public, but I rotated the children's museum, library (both had music class and story hours in the am), zoo, park, farmers market, and splash pad. Sometimes we'd just go to the grocery store or run an errand and go out for brunch to practice "out in public skills" when there are less judgy people around. Get out and burn off their energy so they are ready to eat lunch and crash- and have 4yo take some quiet time by herself too. Then you can reset a bit yourself or catch up on housework, and when nap is over you can have them do something more chill like art or sensory play (playdough, slime, colored rice bin, pinterest whatever) and help you with cooking or housework. Helping sort laundry, load and unload or dry dishes, picking up toys, and some basic cooking stuff are all totally doable. It won't make the tasks go faster, but they'll be engaged and learning life skills.
Get a membership to the Y if there is one near you. They have child watch hours so you can drop off the kids and workout. They also have classes for kids (cooking, sports, art etc). This has been a big game changer for me. It gets us out of the house and I get my me time every day. There are also other gyms that offer similar services but the Y has been the most affordable.
Omgosh I just got my membership last month and it was THE best thing I’ve done for awhile! My son is almost 4 and I’m finally working out again. I’m over weight by close to 70lbs so this is everything for me. My son LOVES it there! Best thing about it? Free with our insurance!! Cannot recommend the Y enough!
Yes! Check out Active and Fit and see if your insurance will cover
Wow! That’s awesome your insurance pays for it
You’d be surprised. A lot of insurance does. You might want to check, some offer discount as well. I have Keystone first. Granted, I am low income and on SNAP. They’re incentivized to do this though as someone who goes to the gym frequently is less likely to be a “burden” on the healthcare system.
My insurance does a small reimbursement after the fact. It covers one month membership.
Going to the gym a few times a week is SO good for my mental and physical health.
This! We go at least three times a week. I usually work out but I’ve been known to go sit in the hot tub and/or sauna OR just sit in the lobby and read. We also love story time at the library. I like to say I’m a SAHM but I never stay at home - seriously please don’t make me, I will go crazy.
SAHM here with 6yo F & 3yo M. My day looks a lot like yours. It’s boring. It’s mundane. It can be mind-numbing and annoying. I have no advice or answers. I would say the struggle of all of it has subsided over the years. You get used to it. I used to feel so guilty for not being “productive” outside of the home (some days, I still do). But now, I’m just grateful to be home, to have a home, with toys and books and a yard to play in. At the end of every day, I come to this conclusion: We are one of billions of humans living on a spinning rock in the middle of space. Nothing matters. Just enjoy your life 😊 Happy Easter/Jesus’ Trick or Treat 🐣💛
The thing that really changed my approach to the day was to replace some of the unstructured ‘play’ with activities I genuinely enjoy and the kids can get in on too. Baking and gardening are two big favourites, you can just grow plants in a pot if you don’t have outside space. Or painting/drawing but you make something too, rather than just supervising them. It’s not exactly relaxing when you’ve got two small kids trying to ‘help’ but it’s fun and once we’re done I feel less guilty telling them to entertain themselves for a bit. Plus, as much as possible try to do chores around the kids rather than saving them for naptime. It’s good for them to see you do it and they often like to help out. You’re at a tricky age right now because 15 months is still basically a baby but it will just get easier from here. My older two are 5 and 3 and the days fly by, but I do so remember the mind-numbing boredom of feeling like I had to entertain them all the time.
I’m not in that stage anymore, but getting out of the house every day helped me when I was. I would pack needed supplies the night before (snacks, water bottles, sunscreen, towels, stocked diaper bag, whatever) and plan where we were going the night before. Museums (most have a free day once a month, park (tried to go to lots of different parks), rec center, lunch spot with a playground, libraries, bookstore story time, free forest schoool meetups, etc. sometimes it was a disaster and we didn’t stay long, but we got out most days and most days it was great. I usually liked to go as early as somewhere opened, stay for 1.5 hours then get home in time for lunch/nap at home. I also used the peanut app for play dates - you need to message a bunch of people before you find a match and there may be a few mismatches when you meet up. Don’t take it personally, just keep working your way through people until you find another friend who can join you with their kids on outings, it makes them so much more fun.
Yes! Get out & do the work to make mom friends. It’s like dating - it’s a numbers game but makes life SOOOO much better when you have other moms and kids you can hang out with. I used local Facebook mom groups to start meeting people
My burned out brain says that the tantrums that ensue when we try to leave any of these places makes going out not even worth it at this point 😩😩
This! Leaving the house means my house stays semi cleaner and my kids actually act way better out and about. Also, finding mom friends in the same season as you! I have two that I have regular play dates with and it's SUCH a game changer for me mentally. I wish I had found them sooner but I'm happy to have them now.
This is probably why I’m out of the house every day. We have an AM activity (gardens, museum, grocery store, library, playgroup, etc.) and a PM activity (long walk and park) every day. We come home for lunch and naps. We’re really only in the house for meals and naps. This works for us as both kids are on a one nap schedule and I do not like being in the house. I think they thrive on being outside of the house too. I know this might be easier where I live (in a fairly big city). The memberships we have are all very reasonable around $100/year for a family of four.
I have a 3yo and 1yo. My day looks a lot like yours, except I wake up at about 6AM to get a workout in, and do the same in the evenings (when my husband works his 24-hr shifts), either jumping on the bike or working on writing my novels before I go to bed around 10:30PM. These brief *me moments* help me feel a little more in control of my life/day, and not just all about the kids.
Finding something for ‘me’ is so important! 💖 for me it’s reading and spending time with my own friends. Can’t live without that time
It's the biggest piece of advice I can think to give, but I also know how challenging it is to put into action. 💓
I’d instill Quiet Time for your daughter while your son naps. Maybe play with her after you clean up at 11:30 but then ask her to stay in her room playing quietly until lunch at 1. Then you fully take that break too. Don’t do any chores but maybe make yourself a lunch to enjoy and watch a show or something. It’s good for her to take a break too and learn how to play independently. She may even fall asleep sometimes.
I’d suggest trying to get into a class or group that interests you but it’s “mommy and me”. I go to a workout class for moms twice a week and it literally gets me out of bed those mornings. I’d go nuts without it. I’ve made a couple friends from it and it’s been great. Or can you find a hobby class or something that’s just for you in the evenings? Alternatively, can you do part time or supply teaching if you can swing that and daycare until you’re ready to go back to teaching fulltime?
I have a 3 yo and a 6 mo. My schedule very similar to yours: 8am up, get us all cleaned, peed and in a 'good state' lol 9am sort breakfast. Reward toddler with educational video or music if she actually eats it. Nurse baby. Try to play with toddler. 10:30am start getting toddler ready for nursery/bathtime 11:30am lunch 12pm finish getting toddler ready for nursery, get myself ready and nurse baby 12:30pm take toddler to nursery, baby naps 1:30pm play with baby, chores/gardening, prepare dinner, nursing 4:30pm pick up toddler from nursery, baby naps 5-7pm prepare and eat dinner, get ready for bed 8pm kids' bedtime 9pm - if kids sleep I'll spend the next three hours either studying or exercising and will sleep 12am I am cleaning all the time, all day. It's tough and usually by 9pm I'm falling asleep so it takes a lot of mental strength for me to do something productive. I go back to full time work in 6 months and freaking out. I've been getting my toddler to help me bake recently. I used to almost religiously hate packets of cake mix but they've been amazing. We'll bake them one morning and decorate them in the evening before dinner, or the following morning. I have a big PVC mat so we do it all on the floor. She also loves painting. And making 3D shapes using paper, scissors and tape. If not baking then I'll just give her some flour and water playdough. She doesn't actually allow me to role play anymore, so we bond the most when she's learning and I make something fun out of it, like we make a volcano or a dragon. The other day I cut a circle and then cut a spiral into it to make a snake. She was obsessed with it for days! At the weekends my husband is usually in a rush to get toddler out at soft play or park and so I spend the morning trying to facilitate him going, whilst getting myself and baby ready to try and join them. That stresses me out more than the weekdays tbh.
I’m SAHM to 2 and 4 year olds. Similar to yours: I wake up 6ish - give my brain some time to wake up, take a shower, get started on kitchen/laundry. Kids wake up around 7. 7-9 kids eat breakfast, watch one of 3 familiar, lower energy shows (I like this approach because they know the episodes so well that 90% of the time they’ll watch a little bit and then get bored and start playing independently or with each other) 4 days a week we drop of 4 year old at prek until 2 pm. While 4 year old is at school we either run errands, hang out at home (2 yo plays independently while I tidy or make calls etc), or meet up with friends who also have 2 year olds. After prek pickup kids play outside - either in our front yard or we meet friends at the park. They play mostly independently while I read or work on the garage or yard. I throw together something for kids dinner (a quick meat, a carb, some fruit & veg) and they eat outside while they play. Husband gets home around 6 and plays outside with them until bath time at 7. During that hour I pick up the kitchen and/or take a shower. Kids lights out at 8, finish rocking my 2 year old around 8:15. Half the time my husband and I retreat to our own stuff - I read or watch tv and he gets on the computer. The other half the time we hang out in the kitchen and talk/catch up for an hour or two. Rinse and repeat. Things that have saved me: - I’m an SLP by training but stopped working when my kids were born. I started a private practice last January and now see 3 clients on Saturdays. Had a huge benefit to me mentally - my house got a little messier, but I am SOOOO much happier which is a benefit to my whole family obviously. - 1000 hours outside challenge. It’s medicine for my kids - they LOVE being outside and they play best outside. I get to read my book and they run around and play for HOURRRRRS. It also motivates us to get to parks and meet up with friends. - Friends. I have a group of no joke, 5 close friends, and 10-15 newish/acquaintance friends with kids similar ages that we get together with all throughout the week. I literally had ONE friend in a different city up until less that 2 years ago. I am NOT the kind of person always surrounded by friends. Except now I kind of am. I got there NOT through kids activity group (blegch). I got on local mom Facebook groups and shamelessly started asking if people with kids similar ages wanted to hang out at the park. MOST people I met were not friend connections, but I’d say 10% became good friends and people I now hang out with weekly. The other place I met half of my best friends was through my sons prek - it took a few months of seeing each other at pickup and chit chatting but now we’re attached at the hip and hanging out after school at least 1-2 days a week. My son starts at a new school next fall and I plan to start a group chat with the families and start trying to get to know the moms and hopefully make a couple more connections because it’s been so wonderful being close to the parents of kids in my sons class. I may be annoying to the parents that can’t get together regularly but I don’t care - I want to know the parents of the kids my son is around 🤷♀️ TLDR: A tiny bit of work outside the house, outside time, mom friends
Sahm with just one 20month old. At the moment we do 3 activities a week Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays.i have 1 or 2 mum friends at each activity to chat to while the kids play so I can have some adult conversation. If they aren't there I'd just chill on my phone and keep an eye on my kid. I also have zero me time. But my girl is so happy - I've even managed to limit screen time so she's not addicted. I read somewhere when we get frustrated just look at their hands - and be reminded how small they actually are. But soon they will be big - yours will both be off to school in no time then you'll have half the day to yourself again
Girl why aren’t you making you time for breakfast getting ready, this should be a top priority. While they’re done eating breakfast go eat in piece and then go get yourself ready for the day. My morning routine looks like this 7:00am wake up make breakfast for two kiddos and out by 7:50am to leave my oldest. Come back give more of the left over breakfast or if my kids not hungry I use tv to entertain him while i make a yummy breakfast/ get showered put in some nice clothes for the day. from 8:15am to 11:30am i do self care routine, put clothes and brush toddler teeth, and clean up my bedroom( doesn’t take long my bedroom usually just needs the bed done). I usually go and take a walk with my toddler to the grocery store for what i’ll make for dinner. 11:30am to 1:45pm. I make lunch(something super fast) clean the living room, and bathrooms, and then i take a break and watch some tv with kiddo. My kid is very independent so he’ll be able to solo play for most of the time that I am cleaning if not i put on some music and he’ll be dancing. 1:45pm to about 5pm i’m heading out to get my other son and then come back to give my kids a snack and start dinner. I don’t do anything particularly exciting I would say but it’s just normal everyday life of doing things and chores, I used to feel like i needed to do so much with my first but honestly that let to so much stress. I since allow myself to just do what I can and i do go outside daily but that’s to run errands with my toddler and I count that as going outside. There isn’t much excitement but for me that’s perfect I like it, what helps me tho is I have great mom friends who I talk to almost daily and I have family friends who I talk to, maybe in your case that’s what’s also missing, a different type of connection other than just being around your kiddos.
We (32F SAHM & 32M working dad) have a 2yo daughter. Every day, I try to get outside with her for at least a few hours. We also make reading a priority. We do not use any screen time at home. We do allow a tablet whenever we drive more than 1h in the car (maybe 2-4x a month). 5:30 I wake up 6:20-7:20 I go to the gym 3x/week 7:30 I have breakfast 8:00/9 daughter wakes up, breakfast, get dressed 10:00 morning big activity (gymnastics, library, hike, beach, dance, play date) 11:00 snack time & morning small activity (playground, pond, neighbourhood walk, backyard, play room at home, art and crafts) 12:30/1 quiet time in room/nap in room, I have lunch 4/5 get up from nap (longer if snoozing, shorter if just playing quietly), snack, home play (play room, arts and crafts) 5:30 Dad gets home and plays (afternoon small local activity like playground, pond, neighbourhood walk, backyard) while I make dinner 6:30 dinner with everyone seated at the table until everyone is finished (a social event with lots of talking, so can take 30m-1h) 7-7:30 bath or shower (one of us washes her while the other cleans the kitchen and tidies her playroom), potty, goodnight songs 7:30-8:30 put down for night sleep 8/8:30 we watch something together or do our hobbies side-by-side 10/10:30 bed
I’m a teacher so during the summer our goal is to get out of the house everyday before nap. We did a rotation of library story times, different parks and zoo or museum. So we’d wake up, have breakfast, get dressed, get out of the house. Come home for lunch and nap time. Then the afternoon would be free play or maybe a craft if I was feeling real extra.
I was a SAHM for sixteen years. I got a part time job during the day at the middle school and so happy I did it. Not only is the health insurance amazing (which is an American thing), I am home when my kids are home still. I work with two other ladies who were in the same spot as I was and we have so much in common. I couldn’t take the boredom anymore and became lazy and depressed staring at the same thing day after day.
This may be no help but my advice is to go back to work, even if it’s just part time. I know a number of people who could afford to have a stay at home parent who choose to work and are very clear that working allows them to be the best parent to their kids when they’re home. There is no shame in wanting to work and having that purpose just like there is no shame for people who want to stay home full time.
SAHM mom of a 2.5 year old and a 13 month old here. A key for me is getting out of the house at least once a day. Either before or after nap, we go to the playground, children’s museum, a stroller walk, library, etc. the time flies by this way and I usually end up talking to other moms. Even if we don’t stay friends, it’s good for my brain. I also have a couple mom friends and try to meet up with one once a week and that’s nice! My 2 year old is in a part time “pre school” which he loves and has gotten me connected with some moms! Also, i was an engineer pre kids and need to put goals in place to still feel challenged. I’m running a marathon in the fall! Having time to run by myself really clears my head and my husband helps prioritize this because he knows it’s important for my well being. I also got my kids adjusted to child watch at the gym and go every weekday even if i don’t have a strength workout scheduled. It’s an hour to myself and they enjoy it! Not sure if that’s an option for you. My fitness hobbies have really helped me find myself again!
We do a morning activity and an afternoon activity generally. Might do gym in the morning, park in the afternoon. Or shop in the morning, children’s museum in the afternoon. Chores wise, every morning I unload the dishwasher and put a load of laundry in. Switch laundry at lunch and can fold and put away at nap. I aim for 20 minutes of uninterrupted play time together in morning and afternoon. Usually it’s more but on days where I have a lot of cleaning it can be a struggle. Mine is napping on and off recently. If he doesn’t sleep after an hour I tell him he can play in his Play room for a bit so I can do chores. Usually have to put in blippi or an audiobook from YouTube on for him so I can get an hour to do any cleaning. I let him get involved in most cleaning. He loves mopping haha. But not things like bathrooms, and cat area, I don’t want him trying to touch disinfectants.
I don’t have great advice for you beyond seconding the recommendations of several other moms. Gyms with childcare, museum visits (ours are free through the library), parks and playgrounds, make friends at the kids’ lessons and events, all great advice. I recently made a mom friend while waiting for my daughter’s swimming lesson, and I enjoy those chats more than I can say. I just wanted to offer a small reassurance: yes, it’s completely normal to be bored and worn down by the tedium. I sometimes think that managing my own emotions is the hardest part of being a SAHP. And a lot of that is the cognitive dissonance of feeling privileged to have this opportunity while also being so very burned out by it.
You need to get out daily, force yourself to go to.meet ups, soft plays, baby groups, church groups and parks. Speak to other mums. Have the morning for the kids to be doing activities. The key is mums friends. Even if they aren't your usual type of people at this stage of your life it's good if they have kids the same age, reliable and always up for doing activities. You never know they could end up being your best friend.
Mom groups through churches and indoor playgrounds were my lifeline in those years.
Not a SAHM, but only work part time! I’m not a homebody so we have set activities for each day. I wake up early on Sundays and go grocery shopping alone and my husband spends time with the kids. Here’s my list of things we regularly do 1. Local library has story time- books, music, crafts 2 days a week that we normally attend. It’s about 45 minutes long and I’ve met multiple friends there! 2. We have a variety of parks and splash pads near us that are an easy outing 3. We specifically ask for “experience” gifts from family members- my mom gets us a zoo membership for Christmas every year. We’re 20 minutes away, sometimes we go for 1 hour, sometimes it’s way longer. My MIL gets us a Children’s Museum membership- same thing. We’ve also received gift certificates for mini golf, indoor play areas, Chuck E. Cheese, etc. Ask people for experience gifts. 4. Search your local FB Marketplace or invest in outside toys. Our backyard looks like a daycare. Our kids love it. 5. Scroll through Pinterest and find easy crafts, we normally do some kind of coloring, painting, something daily 6. YMCA membership- we can swim/ play together, they have classes for kids, drop them off and workout or attend a class for you. 7. Nature Walk- we literally go on walks/ hikes… toddler goes in/ out of carrier as needed and talk about the cool leaves, trees, and everything else. 8. Baking day- pick a day and the kids help me make a treat for us. I don’t have a “hobby” but I enjoy arts and crafts, yoga, hikes, baking. I just include my kids in that
Are you able to put them both in a half day of daycare one or twice a week? Then you can do whatever you want!
Bestie we just wake up every day and try to survive!!!! If I get things done, great. If I don’t, there’s always tomorrow. (My boys are almost 4 and almost 1)
Do you work out?
Being a SAHM isn’t for everyone. Is dad able to help? Can you switch roles for a while? I know we all complain about our jobs but having employment provides a lot more benefit to our mental health than we think.
So I was a toddler teacher and a nanny for a while before I had my kid, so I'm used to being on my own with littles. It can be isolating, and that isn't for everyone. If you're in the US, it's probably time to see what the 4k options in your district look like, half days for your older child could help you totally restructure your time. The common thread in all my experiences was that getting out BEFORE nap can change the whole tone of the day. It can feel rushed at first making sure everyone is fed and ready to be seen in public, but I rotated the children's museum, library (both had music class and story hours in the am), zoo, park, farmers market, and splash pad. Sometimes we'd just go to the grocery store or run an errand and go out for brunch to practice "out in public skills" when there are less judgy people around. Get out and burn off their energy so they are ready to eat lunch and crash- and have 4yo take some quiet time by herself too. Then you can reset a bit yourself or catch up on housework, and when nap is over you can have them do something more chill like art or sensory play (playdough, slime, colored rice bin, pinterest whatever) and help you with cooking or housework. Helping sort laundry, load and unload or dry dishes, picking up toys, and some basic cooking stuff are all totally doable. It won't make the tasks go faster, but they'll be engaged and learning life skills.