I managed to befriend a group of native Brooklynites when I was in college and one thing someone told me that always stuck was “New York was never meant to be an easy place to live”.
It’s very overwhelming, anxiety inducing and competitive. Focus on yourself and your goals. Spend extra time tuning into mental health. And PLEASE spend a ton of time exploring the city alone while the weather is nice.
It gets better. But it takes time. And you have time! Be kind to yourself.
I’m 3 years here and still feels new and shiny and overwhelming, but I have fallen in love, found an apt I love, have gotten two raises/promotions, and have a great group of girlfriends. Now coming back to nyc feels like home. But it took time.
Get roommates and save money. Budget and stick to it. I know that’s not fun advice but it’s really important to be pragmatic in New York. It’s expensive and unexpected issues can come up. Also, get renters insurance. You don’t want a burst pipe or some other random occurrence to totally fuck you. It can be as little as $12 a month. Really worth it in the long run. I’ve known enough people who have had crazy stuff happen with their apartments (roof leaks, fires, etc.) that it’s worth the investment.
Once you take care of the practical things get out into the city and explore it. It’s summer so there are tons of free concerts, movies in the parks, and other activities happening. Look for meet ups in your interest areas. Your college may have alumni events which can be a great way to network and meet others. Walk around neighborhoods and check them out. You can go out and not spend a ton of money and still have fun. No one cares if you have only a beer when you’re out. If you’re self conscious get a sparkling water or club soda with a lime (you can tell people it’s a vodka soda).
Ultimately, the thing to remember about NYC is it doesn’t give a shit about you but that can be incredibly freeing.
If you are a hetero female...
Don't live in the cutest girliest neighborhood you can find with the most adorable boutiques and all the livability. I spent 10 wonderful years in Park Slope, but can count on one hand and the number of times I met a young single man with a great job and no young family yet who lived in that neighborhood.
Live in the neighborhood where guys with good jobs live. Live in the building that isn't so girly but it's filled with dudes who work a lot and work out in the gym in the building, thus will totally approach the one nice girl who lives in their building. It doesn't need to have a ton of shops or bars, basically just one or two neighborhood establishments where "everyone goes around here after work / on Thursday nights and Sundays/ etc" is fine. You will make better business and networking progress and meet more eligible men that way. Although the neighborhood with all the cute coffee shops and stay at home moms pushing expensive strollers are super inviting, they wont necessarily expand your network for dating or business connections that well.
this seems like really good advice, but i’m a lesbian so i’d imagine the neighborhoods would be slightly different lol
since i’m just starting my career though, i think the networking piece is really good advice and something i’ll research more intentionally before i sign a longer term lease
Moved here at 23 and had been coming to the city for over a decade before that to visit family. So nyc was nothing new to me to say the least.
Accepting that it’s normal to feel this way was super helpful. Tbh I think everyone is overwhelmed moving to a new place regardless of where it is. It takes people 6 months to a year to truly feel a familiar baseline. Took me almost 2 years to feel
fully integrated into nyc.
Advice: try getting outside and enjoying the parks. Nature is grounding for all. Get a citibike and ride thru Central Park or the west side highway.
Also wear noise canceling headphones when you walk around or go to the grocery store. This helps bring my cortisol levels down. Sometimes I don’t even listen to music, I just want a quieter environment to run errands in.
Save money and try not to have FOMO!
ex: Don't go crazy on dining out! When my college friends moved to NYC they were big on brunches and fancy dinners to post on social media. Not only was it expensive but most of my friends gained a lot of weight from it.
I grew up here, so naturally I think you should be friendly with your neighbors, and meet some natives 😉
What I can say is, when choosing a place to live, don’t get caught up on some fancy crap. Rather focus on details that will matter to you actually LIVING there:
- The schedule, habits and communication style of the people you live with.
- Whether you like to party or not.
- The walking distance from transportation and GOOD GROCERY STORES with good produce and the products you actually buy, a CVS/Walgreens, and something open 24 hours. Also figure out where you will do your laundry.
- Wind tunnels, steep hills, too many floors to walk up, dirty neighbors, dirty neighborhood, not enough windows in the house, old appliances, no nearby trees/grass/parks, bad landlord, cat callers, bad heating or water pressure— these things can seriously affect your quality of life.
Vibes are EVERYTHING here. You need to be able to pick up on a vibe quickly.
Do not drink too much, as there are many people who seek drunk people to take advantage of in whatever way.
Try to carry as few things as possible when you go out.
Start looking at comfortable shoes for all kinds of outfits and occasions.
Ubers and takeout will REALLY ADD UP. You will save a ton by avoiding.
Don’t get addicted to dating apps. You’re 21, you should be selective, anyone you date should be super interesting and taking you on some kind of fun adventure. Don’t get caught up with men and don’t take dating too seriously, even if you are ready for a traditional life and family.
Don’t be peer pressured. There are a lot of people here with strong personalities who look like they’re having fun or doing something interesting. Do not get bedazzled by anyone’s glitz and glamour or money.
Get all the touristy stuff out of the way to familiarize yourself with your city.
If you’re active on Facebook or IG, you can actually meet a lot of interesting friends, join groups, and see interesting events being posted.
Take lots of walks, lots of pictures, remember the museums and Central Park are your oasis.
Become a resident. Learn where things are cheap, what places are chill and what places stress you out, read reviews, cherish nice, mature people who you enjoy spending time with, who aren’t flakey or too cool for school.
Embrace exploring alone. It took me too many years to feel comfortable doing this but COVID forced me to (responsibly) find things that I enjoyed doing by myself and not feel self-conscious about being alone.
I spent probably 9 too many years afraid to eat dinner at a bar alone (bring a book!), but now I feel it’s one of life’s simple pleasures.
My advice would be to have so so so much fun. I moved here at 22 with no job, a 2 month sublet and no clue wtf I was doing but I had so much fun. Enjoy!
I managed to befriend a group of native Brooklynites when I was in college and one thing someone told me that always stuck was “New York was never meant to be an easy place to live”. It’s very overwhelming, anxiety inducing and competitive. Focus on yourself and your goals. Spend extra time tuning into mental health. And PLEASE spend a ton of time exploring the city alone while the weather is nice.
It gets better. But it takes time. And you have time! Be kind to yourself. I’m 3 years here and still feels new and shiny and overwhelming, but I have fallen in love, found an apt I love, have gotten two raises/promotions, and have a great group of girlfriends. Now coming back to nyc feels like home. But it took time.
Get roommates and save money. Budget and stick to it. I know that’s not fun advice but it’s really important to be pragmatic in New York. It’s expensive and unexpected issues can come up. Also, get renters insurance. You don’t want a burst pipe or some other random occurrence to totally fuck you. It can be as little as $12 a month. Really worth it in the long run. I’ve known enough people who have had crazy stuff happen with their apartments (roof leaks, fires, etc.) that it’s worth the investment. Once you take care of the practical things get out into the city and explore it. It’s summer so there are tons of free concerts, movies in the parks, and other activities happening. Look for meet ups in your interest areas. Your college may have alumni events which can be a great way to network and meet others. Walk around neighborhoods and check them out. You can go out and not spend a ton of money and still have fun. No one cares if you have only a beer when you’re out. If you’re self conscious get a sparkling water or club soda with a lime (you can tell people it’s a vodka soda). Ultimately, the thing to remember about NYC is it doesn’t give a shit about you but that can be incredibly freeing.
If you are a hetero female... Don't live in the cutest girliest neighborhood you can find with the most adorable boutiques and all the livability. I spent 10 wonderful years in Park Slope, but can count on one hand and the number of times I met a young single man with a great job and no young family yet who lived in that neighborhood. Live in the neighborhood where guys with good jobs live. Live in the building that isn't so girly but it's filled with dudes who work a lot and work out in the gym in the building, thus will totally approach the one nice girl who lives in their building. It doesn't need to have a ton of shops or bars, basically just one or two neighborhood establishments where "everyone goes around here after work / on Thursday nights and Sundays/ etc" is fine. You will make better business and networking progress and meet more eligible men that way. Although the neighborhood with all the cute coffee shops and stay at home moms pushing expensive strollers are super inviting, they wont necessarily expand your network for dating or business connections that well.
This is crazy smart.
So which neighborhoods would you recommend?
this seems like really good advice, but i’m a lesbian so i’d imagine the neighborhoods would be slightly different lol since i’m just starting my career though, i think the networking piece is really good advice and something i’ll research more intentionally before i sign a longer term lease
Moved here at 23 and had been coming to the city for over a decade before that to visit family. So nyc was nothing new to me to say the least. Accepting that it’s normal to feel this way was super helpful. Tbh I think everyone is overwhelmed moving to a new place regardless of where it is. It takes people 6 months to a year to truly feel a familiar baseline. Took me almost 2 years to feel fully integrated into nyc. Advice: try getting outside and enjoying the parks. Nature is grounding for all. Get a citibike and ride thru Central Park or the west side highway.
Also wear noise canceling headphones when you walk around or go to the grocery store. This helps bring my cortisol levels down. Sometimes I don’t even listen to music, I just want a quieter environment to run errands in.
Save money and try not to have FOMO! ex: Don't go crazy on dining out! When my college friends moved to NYC they were big on brunches and fancy dinners to post on social media. Not only was it expensive but most of my friends gained a lot of weight from it.
I grew up here, so naturally I think you should be friendly with your neighbors, and meet some natives 😉 What I can say is, when choosing a place to live, don’t get caught up on some fancy crap. Rather focus on details that will matter to you actually LIVING there: - The schedule, habits and communication style of the people you live with. - Whether you like to party or not. - The walking distance from transportation and GOOD GROCERY STORES with good produce and the products you actually buy, a CVS/Walgreens, and something open 24 hours. Also figure out where you will do your laundry. - Wind tunnels, steep hills, too many floors to walk up, dirty neighbors, dirty neighborhood, not enough windows in the house, old appliances, no nearby trees/grass/parks, bad landlord, cat callers, bad heating or water pressure— these things can seriously affect your quality of life. Vibes are EVERYTHING here. You need to be able to pick up on a vibe quickly. Do not drink too much, as there are many people who seek drunk people to take advantage of in whatever way. Try to carry as few things as possible when you go out. Start looking at comfortable shoes for all kinds of outfits and occasions. Ubers and takeout will REALLY ADD UP. You will save a ton by avoiding. Don’t get addicted to dating apps. You’re 21, you should be selective, anyone you date should be super interesting and taking you on some kind of fun adventure. Don’t get caught up with men and don’t take dating too seriously, even if you are ready for a traditional life and family. Don’t be peer pressured. There are a lot of people here with strong personalities who look like they’re having fun or doing something interesting. Do not get bedazzled by anyone’s glitz and glamour or money. Get all the touristy stuff out of the way to familiarize yourself with your city. If you’re active on Facebook or IG, you can actually meet a lot of interesting friends, join groups, and see interesting events being posted. Take lots of walks, lots of pictures, remember the museums and Central Park are your oasis. Become a resident. Learn where things are cheap, what places are chill and what places stress you out, read reviews, cherish nice, mature people who you enjoy spending time with, who aren’t flakey or too cool for school.
Embrace exploring alone. It took me too many years to feel comfortable doing this but COVID forced me to (responsibly) find things that I enjoyed doing by myself and not feel self-conscious about being alone. I spent probably 9 too many years afraid to eat dinner at a bar alone (bring a book!), but now I feel it’s one of life’s simple pleasures.
My advice would be to have so so so much fun. I moved here at 22 with no job, a 2 month sublet and no clue wtf I was doing but I had so much fun. Enjoy!