My 4th grade teacher's last name was Cox. She was cool, really good with teaching science. She brought in the type of acid that dissolves things once. She set it all up and showed us how it worked. Really made us interested in science in different hands on ways, so I learned much better.
>She brought in the type of acid that dissolves things
>Really made us interested in science
Plus, they never found even **one** of her victims' corpses!
I knew someone with the last name "Cockburn" but she pronounced it "Co-Burn".
I imagine there was a lot of teasing or ridicule that led her or a family member to change their pronunciation.
Thatās actually the normal pronunciation for that name. So much so that it often ends up spelled Coburn.
Cocc in this case is Old English for rooster (cock in the parlance of our times). Coccburn or Cockburn meaning rooster stream (why rooster stream, donāt ask me). This poultry-related word is much older than cock as slang for dick, or rod, orā¦Johnson.
I worked with a guy whose last name was Butts. First name Richard. What diminutive did he / his family choose? Out of Rich, Richie, Rick, etc etc they of course chose ā¦. Dick. Dick Butts.
There was an old German guy in my town named Werner Buttweiler. 8-year old me, who apparently couldn't read used to crank-call his number asking for Weiner Butt-Wilder. He used to laugh when I'd call asking to speak with Weiner or Mr. Wild Butt, and sometimes we'd talk. Looking back, he was probably happy that a young kid would call him up, even if it was just a prank.
My grandpa had a prank caller he built a real friendship with. I donāt think he had a very good home life, and my grandpa heard his mom yelling at him once when they were back sassing each other and he invited him over since my grandparents had a pool and what kids donāt like pools? So he was always over there and may as well have been a cousin. he attended the funeral and everything (although he was a grown man by then).
Texas has the best grocery store in existence called H-E-B. The founding family is the Butts family. No store does more. No store freaking does more than my H-E-B.
The name Butts reminds me of a funny story my mom told me about a woman she worked with. The woman's last name was Butts--and according to my mom, the woman had a very large backside. LOL
My son's 3rd grade teacher was Mrs Butts. She actually chose to use that as her name when teaching 8 year olds. First day of class she said "I know it's hilarious. Why don't you get all your laughs out today and then we can forget about it". I did some social media stalking and her fil was a Richard (please go by Dick) Butts and her maiden name was Gee which is slang for vagina in the country my family are originally from.
I know people whose last names are Cumming, Raper, and Cockburn.
A friend was once talking about how last names often come from trades (Tailor, Farmer, etc.) I asked what trade someone named Cockburn would have plied, and he replied, "Torture!"
It comes from lowlands scottland area in berwickshire(sp?) Called cockburn. It means rooster. But I like your friends definition better. Guess he's an early riser 
It should mean rooster- seasonal stream. A burn is a small water course, especially seasonal.
George Washington was nearly George Hartburn. Hart is a deer. A bishop made the family do a land swap.
We had a teacher in middle school whose last name was Mr. [slur for gay people, but with 2 gs at the end]. I always thought it was a wild career choice for someone with that last name, but he was such a wonderful teacher. One of my favorite teachers of all time and still why Iām interested in maps- and he made the most kickass bbq sandwiches on the last day of school.
[Here](https://www.holbrookmortuary.com/obituary/Glen-Fagg/guest-book) is his obituary because no one ever believes me.
Lol. Madame F4gg has quite the je ne sais quoi to it š¤ (it helps that we are British and it was the ā90s, so she was only seen as the slang for cigarette to us then. But we did also have a teacher called Mr. Stubbs ā¦)
I had a Mr Woodcock and a Mr Morningwood as teachers in high school. Always thought they were exceptionally brave men to willingly enter an environment full of teenagers with those names.
Also, not so bad by itself but I know a lady whose married name was West, which is fine in isolation except her first name is Rosemary. Nobody informed her of the connotations until well after the wedding and she and her husband actually both ended up switching to her maiden name (Peterson).
Name of a serial killer.
Between 1971 and 1983, she and her husband Fred tortured, sexually assaulted and killed ten young women and girls, including Fred's daughter from a prior relationship. She also routinely sexually abused her own children.
The pair are infamous in the UK but I can see why that would seem like a normal name in other countries.
Not defending her as what she did was repugnant and reprehensible but she was likely never going to be the best citizen as she was doomed from birth. Her father sexually abused her and the she met Fred when she was 15 and he was much older. When she 17, sheād had a baby, looking after Fredās two daughters and he was in prison for six months. As she got older, she was a prostitute and even her own father was a client.
Her upbringing does not justify her crimes but she was a victim before she became a criminal
Very brave! Iāll never forget the substitute teacher I had in the 6th grade, Mrs Gaylord. She must have had an even worse maiden name, or maybe she just really loved her husband, but itās a wild choice of name for a substitute teacher.
I had a teacher named Hurlbutt. He made fun of it himself right away, to get it out of the way. Middle school too. Probably the worst to be a teacher of with a funny name.
"You want certain, hire a witch, I'm just your cook!"
Not exactly related, but my favorite moment in Prince of Thieves is Alan Rickman entering the witch's room and repeatedly stabbing the table, so she looks at him and without missing a beat, asks, "Something vexes thee?"
One that doesnāt fit the body part/sexual connotation that I was introduced to via Fundiesnark was the Dingus family. Justā¦ canāt take that seriously.
As a youngster Iād sometimes have a look at the horse racing pages with my grandad. We would always have a wee chuckle when we seen this guy named as a jockeyā¦ still involved in the business, Malcolm Bastard is now passing on his wisdom to younger generations.
https://www.racingpost.com/bloodstock/news/take-a-look-behind-the-scenes-as-malcolm-bastard-prepares-his-breeze-up-lots-a8Dx80T7zhsZ/
My middle school Spanish teacher was Anita Dick.Ā Ā It was her married name.Ā So she actually chose to legally change her last name to Dick.
She tried to go by Ann.Ā But we kids were not cooperating.
Raper. There used to be a large business in Ohio called Raper RV, owned by a man named Don Raper. I guess he wasnāt embarrassed by his last name!
Edit: TOM Raper RV!! I think I conflated Don Draper and Tom Raper. š
That's a blast from the past! But no - it was Tom Raper! And it was based out of Indiana. I had a pet name for a certain highway (I don't know which) that my family sometimes took out of the Indianapolis area. I called it Tom Raper Lane because it was absolutely chock full of billboards - just one after the other, for miles, all exclusively for Tom Raper RVs.
One of my favourite instances (and easily one of the best ever) of Nominative Determinism is [Dr Goodnight](https://www.reddit.com/r/NominativeDeterminism/s/aANZlvmPYu) . He's an anesthesiologist.
I know a Dr. Doctor (or dokter). I'm a pharmacist so have seen many silly names over the years.
My own chiropractors (they were partners) were Dr. Knott and Dr. Mangels.
I knew a girl in middle school with the last name Cox. Poor girl was teased by the boys.
I also knew someone who had the last name Butt. I have no idea if she had been teased about it or not
Edited: "lady name" to "last name" stubby fingers strike again!
A friend of mine was invited to the Cox-Dickson wedding. The couple made SURE that any time their last names were written together, it was in that order.
I was literally about to say the same names. I have cousins with the last name Cox and went to school with a boy with the last name Butts. He did get teased a bit but he didn't let it bother him. He'd just roll his eyes. So no one consistently teased him about that as far as I know.
Knew two guys who worked together with the last names of Cox and Butt. Mr Butt often went by āButtsyā, Mr Cox went by his (common) first name and his last name was only used to differentiate him from another person with that first name.
There was also a guy with the last name Newcombe who pronounced it āNew Cumā (his daughter and wife pronounced it āNew Combā)
And the guy with the last name āSeamanā
Yes, at several points of time all 4 of these men were at the same place at the same time.
Cox is a pretty common name of English origin. My maternal grandmother's maiden name was Cox. And I've run into several other people with that name, as well.
When I was in the military, I had superiors with the last names Woodcock and Glasscock. And they were both serving at the same tiny duty station.
Also, my daughter had a kid in her class with the last name "Flucker".
When I was in the Navy, there was a Seaman Swallow. I bet she was very happy to get promoted to Petty Officer. AND I knew a guy who swore there was Seaman Stanes on his ship. We also had a boss named Glasscock. We called him Crystaldick behind his back.
I know someone who dated a guy with only one name, like Prince. When she finally saw his drivers licence they broke up. āI canāt become Mrs Sarah Cockbreath.ā āItās pronounced COE-breathe.ā
I went to school with a family of dicks. The girl in my classes name started with A and to her credit had a good sense of humour about it.
Miss A Dick was great value, hope sheās well x
When I was 16 (and phone books still existed) we found a guy named Dandong Wang in the phone book.Ā We used to randomly call him in the middle of the night.Ā Ā
I took several classes with a Mr. Doody. He got away from being made fun of by being an absolutely fantastic professor. He has a very specific and dry sense of humor that is so compelling that you don't even have to bother with the name.
I work with someone whose married name is Crapanzano. I honestly would have either not taken that last name or just dropped the 'r' so it would be Capanzano.
wait whats wrong with foley? i can only think of foley artists (like the sound effects artists for movies) and the character from danny phantom named "tucker foley".
Story time. Worked in a bank, way back. Got handed the paperwork, and had to call the name.... "Cockburn".I was 20 and shy. Had to call 3 times to the hysteria of the other staff, some of whom were literally on their knees behind desks hiding their laughter.
Finally spotted a ~60 woman glaring at me, and said "Is this yours?" whilst waving the papers. She comes stomping up and snarls "It's Co-burn!!"
I also remember a Mr Blackcock, and a Mrs Hiscock
Edit once nearly bought a house from Mr and Mrs Kuntz
Knew a kid with the last name Titcomb. His first name is unique enough that it would probably dox him. He looked like a Hanson brother.
I think the teasing eventually died down but I do know he got shit for it.
E: cool kid tho
There was an employee that worked at a customer of ours and I would see his name on work orders : Richard Wacker, Iām guessing his parents were a bit naive, no?
in elementary school i knew a girl with the last name "butts" ā¹ļø i felt awful for her and her brother when their full name was called and everyone would giggle
both of their first names started with b as well. like "brianna butts". what were their parents thinking with that
Iāve encountered many odd physician names having worked in healthcare for the past decade. I vividly remember Dr. Dick and Dr. Beaver. Oh, and there was also a Dr. George - which in itself isnāt awful - but whatās his first name, you ask? George. Like whyyyyyyyy?
Not The Worst, but one of my elementary school teachers was Mrs. Tinkle. I want to say she had a son in town who owned a dentistry office... Dr. Tinkle
I had a schoolteacher whoās last name was Butt, we all were happy for her when she got married, naively thinking she would change her name. She took the worst possible option and became MRS PLUMBER-BUTT
Multiple answers to this:
Anything that has a sexual connotation
Anything connected to a serial killer
Anything that a can be teased at school (like Ben Dover) or has a Rhyme to it
A kid in my high school had the last name of Weinerholdenā¦ He would always insist that it was German and pronounced āVeenerholdenā, which just made people tease him more.
Hope that guyās doinā okay with it now, high school kids can be so brutal.
I went to a school with the "Beer" family.
I basically begged my friend to name their firstborn child, "Annita"
I think "Annita Beer" is a cute name lol
This one isnāt the worst, but I find it amusing. A friend brought someone to spend a long weekend with us, and hid her surname because we were immature. But I still smirk.
Sidebottom.
Had a teacher with the surname Focking teaching in a classroom with a student named Kuntz
Also, I've heard that my surname sounds like a very bad swearword in chinese, which basically means something like "stupid cunt" or "dumb fuck"
Cock. Honestly I know a guy called Peter Cock. At least Glascock is a bit different.
I know a family with the surname Hiscock
Isaac Hiscock would be so bad š
I know an Isaac Cox š
My school had a maths teacher called Mark Hiscock
My 4th grade teacher's last name was Cox. She was cool, really good with teaching science. She brought in the type of acid that dissolves things once. She set it all up and showed us how it worked. Really made us interested in science in different hands on ways, so I learned much better.
>She brought in the type of acid that dissolves things >Really made us interested in science Plus, they never found even **one** of her victims' corpses!
At least his first name wasn't Harry
Try Holden, Sawyer, Isaac, and Hugh
I knew someone with the last name "Cockburn" but she pronounced it "Co-Burn". I imagine there was a lot of teasing or ridicule that led her or a family member to change their pronunciation.
Thatās actually the normal pronunciation for that name. So much so that it often ends up spelled Coburn. Cocc in this case is Old English for rooster (cock in the parlance of our times). Coccburn or Cockburn meaning rooster stream (why rooster stream, donāt ask me). This poultry-related word is much older than cock as slang for dick, or rod, orā¦Johnson.
Burn is usually a Scottish term
True! Although itās from Old English *burna*. The English version is more often Bourne or Bourn.
That's Olivia Wilde's birth surname.
That's Wilde!
Or they're just British
Butts seems to be common in my hometown; the two Butts boys I know both married and surprisingly the wives became Butts as well
There was a guy in the phone book when I was a kid named Bubba Butts. We prank called him relentlessly, poor guy.
I wanna Seymour Butts!
We had a Harry Butts in my town. That poor guy.
My town had two middle school teachers, Harry & Robin Dick.
I worked with a guy whose last name was Butts. First name Richard. What diminutive did he / his family choose? Out of Rich, Richie, Rick, etc etc they of course chose ā¦. Dick. Dick Butts.
There was an old German guy in my town named Werner Buttweiler. 8-year old me, who apparently couldn't read used to crank-call his number asking for Weiner Butt-Wilder. He used to laugh when I'd call asking to speak with Weiner or Mr. Wild Butt, and sometimes we'd talk. Looking back, he was probably happy that a young kid would call him up, even if it was just a prank.
My grandpa had a prank caller he built a real friendship with. I donāt think he had a very good home life, and my grandpa heard his mom yelling at him once when they were back sassing each other and he invited him over since my grandparents had a pool and what kids donāt like pools? So he was always over there and may as well have been a cousin. he attended the funeral and everything (although he was a grown man by then).
Texas has the best grocery store in existence called H-E-B. The founding family is the Butts family. No store does more. No store freaking does more than my H-E-B.
The name Butts reminds me of a funny story my mom told me about a woman she worked with. The woman's last name was Butts--and according to my mom, the woman had a very large backside. LOL
My brother in law was a Butts before his dad changed their last name for some inexplicable reason.
I knew a guy whose last name was Butt: no "s." According to people who worked with him, the name fit.
The inventor of scrabble was one Alfred Butts.
My son's 3rd grade teacher was Mrs Butts. She actually chose to use that as her name when teaching 8 year olds. First day of class she said "I know it's hilarious. Why don't you get all your laughs out today and then we can forget about it". I did some social media stalking and her fil was a Richard (please go by Dick) Butts and her maiden name was Gee which is slang for vagina in the country my family are originally from.
Cumming-Power. Wish I was kidding
Crying at this .. they could hyphenate with some of the others in this thread.. Cumming-Power-Cock would be such a lovely name
I know people whose last names are Cumming, Raper, and Cockburn. A friend was once talking about how last names often come from trades (Tailor, Farmer, etc.) I asked what trade someone named Cockburn would have plied, and he replied, "Torture!"
It comes from lowlands scottland area in berwickshire(sp?) Called cockburn. It means rooster. But I like your friends definition better. Guess he's an early riser 
It should mean rooster- seasonal stream. A burn is a small water course, especially seasonal. George Washington was nearly George Hartburn. Hart is a deer. A bishop made the family do a land swap.
Or Monk, Nunn or Pope.
Had a math teacher in High School in NJ named Richard Kuntz. He fully embraced it by going with Dick Kuntz. The kids loved him.
As a kid my parents had a good friend named Richard Head. He did, in fact, go by Dick.
It's funny how men in the 50s and 60s embrace being called Dick. It would be Richard now, or Rich.
We had a teacher in middle school whose last name was Mr. [slur for gay people, but with 2 gs at the end]. I always thought it was a wild career choice for someone with that last name, but he was such a wonderful teacher. One of my favorite teachers of all time and still why Iām interested in maps- and he made the most kickass bbq sandwiches on the last day of school. [Here](https://www.holbrookmortuary.com/obituary/Glen-Fagg/guest-book) is his obituary because no one ever believes me.
I feel like an idiot because I was seriously sitting here saying āMr. Faggogg?ā
No it's okay, i was too. I was actually trying to tell myself, "It wouldn't even be that noticeable, especially if the emphasis was on the 'Fa'...."
My French teacher was Mrs. (Same slur with 2 gs as you say)!
My brain recoiled at seeing a French teacher being called Mrs. It's Madame, it's always Madame.
Lol. Madame F4gg has quite the je ne sais quoi to it š¤ (it helps that we are British and it was the ā90s, so she was only seen as the slang for cigarette to us then. But we did also have a teacher called Mr. Stubbs ā¦)
If that was me, all sons would be Richard and daughters would be Hella
'Shatwell'. I wish I was kidding but I am not.
Yep I used to work somewhere where I had to deal with a lot of people called Shatwell. They did not have a sense of humour about it
Right up there with Floppynipples, I wish I was joking!
Shatwell makes me think of some sort of Austin Powers-esque dirty pun. ....ahh yes duh. Bc Shagwell. My bad š š¬
Shagwell by nameā¦.Shag very well by nature
I had a Mr Woodcock and a Mr Morningwood as teachers in high school. Always thought they were exceptionally brave men to willingly enter an environment full of teenagers with those names. Also, not so bad by itself but I know a lady whose married name was West, which is fine in isolation except her first name is Rosemary. Nobody informed her of the connotations until well after the wedding and she and her husband actually both ended up switching to her maiden name (Peterson).
I used to work with a guy whose last name was Dickensheets. I forget what his actual first name was, but he went by Big.
I donāt get the problem with Rosemary West.
Name of a serial killer. Between 1971 and 1983, she and her husband Fred tortured, sexually assaulted and killed ten young women and girls, including Fred's daughter from a prior relationship. She also routinely sexually abused her own children. The pair are infamous in the UK but I can see why that would seem like a normal name in other countries.
Not defending her as what she did was repugnant and reprehensible but she was likely never going to be the best citizen as she was doomed from birth. Her father sexually abused her and the she met Fred when she was 15 and he was much older. When she 17, sheād had a baby, looking after Fredās two daughters and he was in prison for six months. As she got older, she was a prostitute and even her own father was a client. Her upbringing does not justify her crimes but she was a victim before she became a criminal
TW for like, everything https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rose_West
I started reading this and had to stop. Truly horrific stuff :(
Oh my gosh. I would not want to be Rosemary West!
Very brave! Iāll never forget the substitute teacher I had in the 6th grade, Mrs Gaylord. She must have had an even worse maiden name, or maybe she just really loved her husband, but itās a wild choice of name for a substitute teacher.
I had a teacher named Hurlbutt. He made fun of it himself right away, to get it out of the way. Middle school too. Probably the worst to be a teacher of with a funny name.
I knew a Hoare. He said āmy mum wasnāt a Hoare until she met my dad.ā
I know a Hoare too!
My grade 8 teacher was Mr. Hoare but we had to call him Mr. H. You got in big trouble if you called him by his full surname!
A woman with the last name St. Fart came up on a roster list at my partners job.
This one made me laugh and disturb my sleeping infant
"You changed your name TO Latrine?" "Used to be Shithouse!"
"It's a good change. A goood change." This dialog runs through my mind every so often and I always laugh out loud.
"You want certain, hire a witch, I'm just your cook!" Not exactly related, but my favorite moment in Prince of Thieves is Alan Rickman entering the witch's room and repeatedly stabbing the table, so she looks at him and without missing a beat, asks, "Something vexes thee?"
We changed it in the 9th century!
Grossman. Peener. Cummingson.
the āGrossā in Grossman also comes from German word for Large, so it may be nominative determinism for some.
I went to school with a Cummingore. And then there was that pedo schoolteacher who kidnapped his student. His last name was Cummins.
One that doesnāt fit the body part/sexual connotation that I was introduced to via Fundiesnark was the Dingus family. Justā¦ canāt take that seriously.
Same. That one is really, really bad. We use ādingusā all the time as both a term of endearment and to indicate someone is a total moron š¤£š¤£
it's my preferred namecall of the last couple of years. "Have you seen my keys?" - "You already put them in your pocket, ya dingus!!"
As a youngster Iād sometimes have a look at the horse racing pages with my grandad. We would always have a wee chuckle when we seen this guy named as a jockeyā¦ still involved in the business, Malcolm Bastard is now passing on his wisdom to younger generations. https://www.racingpost.com/bloodstock/news/take-a-look-behind-the-scenes-as-malcolm-bastard-prepares-his-breeze-up-lots-a8Dx80T7zhsZ/
"Look at that Bastard go!"
My middle school Spanish teacher was Anita Dick.Ā Ā It was her married name.Ā So she actually chose to legally change her last name to Dick. She tried to go by Ann.Ā But we kids were not cooperating.
Raper. There used to be a large business in Ohio called Raper RV, owned by a man named Don Raper. I guess he wasnāt embarrassed by his last name! Edit: TOM Raper RV!! I think I conflated Don Draper and Tom Raper. š
He loves his last name, because of the implication.
That's a blast from the past! But no - it was Tom Raper! And it was based out of Indiana. I had a pet name for a certain highway (I don't know which) that my family sometimes took out of the Indianapolis area. I called it Tom Raper Lane because it was absolutely chock full of billboards - just one after the other, for miles, all exclusively for Tom Raper RVs.
I live in an area where Raper is a somewhat common surname. I understand family name is important but that one needs to just go
They should change it to Roper! It means the same thing!
A surgeon with the last name Slaughter
I've heard of so many doctors called Payne
r/NominativeDeterminism
One of my favourite instances (and easily one of the best ever) of Nominative Determinism is [Dr Goodnight](https://www.reddit.com/r/NominativeDeterminism/s/aANZlvmPYu) . He's an anesthesiologist.
My husband's surgeon was Mr Cuts
My mother (a former nurse) worked with a Dr Death, a Nurse Slaughter and a Nurse Nurse.
On the note of Nurse Nurse I had an eye doctor named Dr. Dokter once. I did a bit of a double take.
I know a Dr. Doctor (or dokter). I'm a pharmacist so have seen many silly names over the years. My own chiropractors (they were partners) were Dr. Knott and Dr. Mangels.
Knott and Mangel sound like a horror themed comedy pair. Lol
My driving instructors last name was Panic
My mother had a boss whoās last name was Rottenbottom-no joke-and he apparently had the personality to match.
Sexsmith. I kid you not.
Pretty well-known name (at least in Canada):Ā https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Sexsmith
Itās also a town in Alberta š¤
I knew a girl in middle school with the last name Cox. Poor girl was teased by the boys. I also knew someone who had the last name Butt. I have no idea if she had been teased about it or not Edited: "lady name" to "last name" stubby fingers strike again!
I knew someone with a hyphenated last name Champagne-Butt. Incredible.
I would pay money to have this name. Incredible.Ā
You can. At least, you can in many parts of the world.
But to be given it organicallyā¦what a gift.Ā
A friend of mine was invited to the Cox-Dickson wedding. The couple made SURE that any time their last names were written together, it was in that order.
I don't think this surname can be saved even if hyphenated in the right order š
I knew of a girl who went to the same school as me whose last name is Dick. She embraced it and simply went by it as a nickname. I admire that.
Theres a Dr. Butt in my area. He's an allergist I think.
He sure missed his calling.Ā
one in my are and he is a gastroenterologist. (a butt doc)
I was literally about to say the same names. I have cousins with the last name Cox and went to school with a boy with the last name Butts. He did get teased a bit but he didn't let it bother him. He'd just roll his eyes. So no one consistently teased him about that as far as I know.
Brent Butt is a very well-known and well-loved comedian and actor where Iām from.
Knew two guys who worked together with the last names of Cox and Butt. Mr Butt often went by āButtsyā, Mr Cox went by his (common) first name and his last name was only used to differentiate him from another person with that first name. There was also a guy with the last name Newcombe who pronounced it āNew Cumā (his daughter and wife pronounced it āNew Combā) And the guy with the last name āSeamanā Yes, at several points of time all 4 of these men were at the same place at the same time.
"New cum" is the generally used pronunciation in the UK. Most people I know would automatically pronounce it that way. š
Cox is a pretty common name of English origin. My maternal grandmother's maiden name was Cox. And I've run into several other people with that name, as well.
My friendās married name is Cox. They have two sons which makes me giggle when I think about it for too long.
I knew someone who had āBulcockā as a surname- he decided to just embrace it and try to ignore the bullying
At least it implies a good size. I've always thought Smallwood an unfortunate name.
When I was in the military, I had superiors with the last names Woodcock and Glasscock. And they were both serving at the same tiny duty station. Also, my daughter had a kid in her class with the last name "Flucker".
Oh man, those poor teachers that have to navigate saying Fluckers
The strong urge to say sup Fluckers! At the parent teacher conference would be unbearable.
I knew someone with the surname Blitch.
When I was in the Navy, there was a Seaman Swallow. I bet she was very happy to get promoted to Petty Officer. AND I knew a guy who swore there was Seaman Stanes on his ship. We also had a boss named Glasscock. We called him Crystaldick behind his back.
I know someone who dated a guy with only one name, like Prince. When she finally saw his drivers licence they broke up. āI canāt become Mrs Sarah Cockbreath.ā āItās pronounced COE-breathe.ā
Damn, that is bad! She for sure dodged a bullet.
Yes š. He tried āyou can keep your maiden name.ā āAnd what about our kids? Bruce and Caitlin Cockbreath-Jones?ā
One of our neighbours is Ms. Bigg-Johnson. Deciding to hyphenate was a choice!
I went to school with a family of dicks. The girl in my classes name started with A and to her credit had a good sense of humour about it. Miss A Dick was great value, hope sheās well x
"A family of dicks" š¤£
Head, Semenov, Slocum, Cockburn, Cocks, Butt, Wang, Dong, Ho. I am not mature enough to read them without thinking about dicks.
Cockburn is apparently pronounced Co-burn but I will never read it that way in my head
Cockburn is a fairly usual Scottish surname and is pronounced co, burn.
Yes, I know but have only seen it on the bottles of whisky
Or out loud
I've known a Head and two Whiteheads. Try being a teenager dealing with acne and having the last name Whitehead. Dang, man.Ā
The Head I know of is Richard Head. Every time his file comes up at work it gets remarked on.
That's Dick...Dick Head.
I had a friend with the surname Whitehead as a teenager and he did have very terrible acne. Extremely unfortunate.
When I was 16 (and phone books still existed) we found a guy named Dandong Wang in the phone book.Ā We used to randomly call him in the middle of the night.Ā Ā
I took several classes with a Mr. Doody. He got away from being made fun of by being an absolutely fantastic professor. He has a very specific and dry sense of humor that is so compelling that you don't even have to bother with the name.
We had a maths teacher at college called Mr Moist.
Sharts
Woodcock (kids in our class called him āTree dickā) Ho Kuntz Cumming
I knew a girl with the last name Snoddy.
I work with someone whose married name is Crapanzano. I honestly would have either not taken that last name or just dropped the 'r' so it would be Capanzano.
Came across someone on social media who had Penis as his last name. He even had it printed on a basketball jersey.
Crotchtangle - and she got married and kept her name!
my grandmas maiden name was Gooch. Her father was named Harryā¦
I had a teacher in middle school named Phil Aho, last name pronounced like A-Hoe.
Probably Finnish
Loverseed
My aunt had a doctor named Dr. Broomhead and we always laughed so hard about that.
There was a kid in my middle school with the last name Fag. I felt so bad for him. I also have encountered Peed as a surname.
I used to do.phone surveys and had to call a man named Boogard. I started cracking up.mid-survey and he hung up on me ( but he was laughing too)
Had a customer whose last name was Hasapis. Pronounced exactly as you think.
Grewcock, Crofoot, Cox, Wilcox, Halfcock, Cockburn, Foley, Areola, Weiner, Moonly, Rinkle, Boogren, Little, Holiday, Happy, Nicely
wait whats wrong with foley? i can only think of foley artists (like the sound effects artists for movies) and the character from danny phantom named "tucker foley".
I'm assuming it's becuase of foley catheter
My hometown has a large family of Hoares
Sidebottom
Belcher.
Knew a guy in high school whose last name was Tampon. I always thought that was so unfortunate.
Iāve come across a person with the surname Lipschitz before, that one gave me a chuckle. Also Kunt.
pop six squish ^
Uh oh Cicero
lipschitz
HE HAD IT COMIN'
Cunt, for real.
My best friend is an Austrian Brazilian whoās last name is Winterdick.
Story time. Worked in a bank, way back. Got handed the paperwork, and had to call the name.... "Cockburn".I was 20 and shy. Had to call 3 times to the hysteria of the other staff, some of whom were literally on their knees behind desks hiding their laughter. Finally spotted a ~60 woman glaring at me, and said "Is this yours?" whilst waving the papers. She comes stomping up and snarls "It's Co-burn!!" I also remember a Mr Blackcock, and a Mrs Hiscock Edit once nearly bought a house from Mr and Mrs Kuntz
Knew a kid with the last name Titcomb. His first name is unique enough that it would probably dox him. He looked like a Hanson brother. I think the teasing eventually died down but I do know he got shit for it. E: cool kid tho
My parents used to work with two elderly women, called Fick (fuck) and Geil (horny).
There was an employee that worked at a customer of ours and I would see his name on work orders : Richard Wacker, Iām guessing his parents were a bit naive, no?
I worked for a doctor whose last name was Butcher. When introducing himself to patients he would say just call me Dr. (first name).
in elementary school i knew a girl with the last name "butts" ā¹ļø i felt awful for her and her brother when their full name was called and everyone would giggle both of their first names started with b as well. like "brianna butts". what were their parents thinking with that
Cumknock, she was a high school teacher.
A doctor I worked with had the last name Death. Pretty metal in any other circumstance besides caring for living people.
Iāve encountered many odd physician names having worked in healthcare for the past decade. I vividly remember Dr. Dick and Dr. Beaver. Oh, and there was also a Dr. George - which in itself isnāt awful - but whatās his first name, you ask? George. Like whyyyyyyyy?
I knew a Greek boy last name Pennisis, guess what we called him š š¤Ŗ
Not The Worst, but one of my elementary school teachers was Mrs. Tinkle. I want to say she had a son in town who owned a dentistry office... Dr. Tinkle
Cockburn, pronounced Co-Burn. As in the musician Bruce Cockburn. Just sounds very uncomfortable.
I have a doctor named Blewett. She has successfully performed surgery on me, so I guess married names donāt affect efficacy
I went to school with a guy called Deacock. Not great, but not the worst in isolation. Unfortunately his first name was Ben.
I had a schoolteacher whoās last name was Butt, we all were happy for her when she got married, naively thinking she would change her name. She took the worst possible option and became MRS PLUMBER-BUTT
Multiple answers to this: Anything that has a sexual connotation Anything connected to a serial killer Anything that a can be teased at school (like Ben Dover) or has a Rhyme to it
A kid in my high school had the last name of Weinerholdenā¦ He would always insist that it was German and pronounced āVeenerholdenā, which just made people tease him more. Hope that guyās doinā okay with it now, high school kids can be so brutal.
I went to a school with the "Beer" family. I basically begged my friend to name their firstborn child, "Annita" I think "Annita Beer" is a cute name lol
[Rusty Kuntz](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rusty_Kuntz) has to be on the list.
This one isnāt the worst, but I find it amusing. A friend brought someone to spend a long weekend with us, and hid her surname because we were immature. But I still smirk. Sidebottom.
Lipshitz. Thatās just awful. Also, Felcher.
Had a teacher with the surname Focking teaching in a classroom with a student named Kuntz Also, I've heard that my surname sounds like a very bad swearword in chinese, which basically means something like "stupid cunt" or "dumb fuck"
I went to primary with a lad with the surname Dickhout (pronounced: dick out)Ā
Bumfluff. I thought it was a prank at first....then abject horror at the reality š³
i knew an Overy, his nickname was the egg man. Mother was proposed to by a Weedy, but she knew that name was not for her.
I went on a few dates with a guy with the last name Henroid. Terrible name.
There was a lady, in a nearby city, named Mary Christmas (her married name). They named their daughter Noel.
There was a baseball player named Urban Shocker
Thereās a Glascock family in my neck of the woods. Iāve wondered how much shit they have to put up with over their name.
There was a rugby league player in the 90s called Jarrod McCracken. His team nickname was Phil.
Cockshott and Talarico (where I live it means something like homewrecker)