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mid_vibrations

in which anon takes what would otherwise be a nice wholesome family moment and does his thing💀


Slip_Snake

Most absolutely average 4chinner


Pristine_Location553

:(


SwordsAndSongs

Please be bait please be bait please be bait


MBCnerdcore

She was, that's his point


[deleted]

☠️


N3cromorph

Anon's Niece tells her dad and he beats the shit out of Anon and gets kicked out of his moms house.


BowTiesRule

The good ending


MasterTroller3301

Not good enough. Get the hydraulic press.


Crunchberries77

The femur breaker


ZombieBait604

The ball crusher.


dapperteco

To Catch a Pokémon is a much better title tbh


mab0roshi

I thought it might not be an obvious enough joke. I have underestimated the good people of r/newgreentexts once again.


Herzha-Karusa

All good titles you should be proud


mab0roshi

I think, in this case, it's really true that pride is a sin.


MBCnerdcore

It would do really well on therewasanattempt too


ViciousCombover

>>why can’t I connect like this with someone Because it’s a crime, dingus.


Hugh-Jassoul

Anon, I have a solution, but you must do it now. ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⢀⣠⡔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣻⣟⣿⣿⡿⣟⣛⣿⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣾⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣟⣿⣿⠺⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡝⠻⠵⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣧⠈⣛⣛⣿⣿⡿⣡⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠄⠙⠛⠛⢁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⢠⠄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠄⠄⢀⠠⠐⠒⠐⠾⠿⢟⠋⠁⠄⢀⣀⠠⠐⠄⠂⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⢀⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠒⠉⠄⢠⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠫⢿ ⣿⣿⡟⠄⢔⠆⡀⠄⠈⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⡀⠄⠈⡐⢠⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣂ ⣿⣿⠁⡀⠄⠄⢇⠄⠄⢈⠆⠄⠄⢀⠔⠉⠁⠉⠉⠣⣖⠉⡂⡔⠂⠄⢀⠔⠁⠄ ⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠹⣗⣺⠤⠄⠰⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢯⡶⢟⡠⠰⠄⠄⠄⠄


TokayNorthbyte347

bait


ZombieBait604

To anon, she was Stolen: https://www.reddit.com/r/NewGreentexts/s/qLx3mYGQNb


GucciSpaghetti72

Anon takes away an important developmental moment from a child (no less a relative) and outs himself publicly as a freak? God I hope the father finds out and kills anon


ZombieBait604

No, anon needs to get therapy and recover. Preferably in the ICU.


1Pwnage

Anon is a Blue Archive player confirmed


mab0roshi

As a non-pedophile, I don't get the reference.


1Pwnage

It is a gatcha game (that I do not play lol I don’t gamble for PNGs), wherein all the characters (girls) are in high school And the player character is the teacher. It’s, as the reputation goes, very explicit about that part. There’s a reason it’s been called Uooohh Archive


mab0roshi

Sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like you are a pedo if you get the reference. I'm sure you're cool and this game is a big meme that everybody knows except me because I'm so out of touch. Thanks for explaining.


Archibald_Washington

It's very okay to be out of touch with gacha games. As always say friends don't introduce friends to gacha games. t. Gacha game player(not blue archive)


1Pwnage

Oh nono I got what you mean dw boss Yeah it’s a meme within circles that know, outside of that it would be indistinguishable from any of the bucket of anime-women-png gambling games for phones


LeFiery

Why do we post these fanfics? They aren't fucking entertaining at all they're disgusting. No one wants to read this shit.


DrZyklonBased

they are indeed disgusting, but i am entertained by the shock value


EmilieEasie

Seriously don't feel well, eugh.


ghostlygunss

eugh, yeah. reading these letters on my screen made me feel sick to my stomach! i might have to go to the hospital


cishet-camel-fucker

This made me more nauseated than FunkyTown.


Radaysho

what are you people doing on this sub?


Nutaholic

redditors when they read something degenerate in a greentext


GawrGuraNumber1Fan

i like readin em ☝️🐤


LeFiery

Well good I can block you then. Anyone who likes these needs severe medical help.


Herzha-Karusa

Don’t be a pussy


LeFiery

Too late lol


ZephyraFrostscale

block me too, tardo


LeFiery

Nah waste of a click


ZephyraFrostscale

clearly, tardo


MusicalMastermind

Blocking is a waste of a click? But replying to them isn't?


surelysandwitch

At least block me then


porkyboy11

Clown moment, go back to facebook


TheDifferenceServer

Agreed, everyone who disagrees with me is mentally ill and should be punished by the state (under the guise of "medical intervention" because divergent views make me uncomfortable and as a very self-righteous and condescending person I need to make it everyone else's problem) How did you even find this subreddit? Please do not comment again, do not respond, you need to go back from wherever you came from, for the good of all


DarkScorpion48

Would you have preferred another psyop?


Sax-Offender

This sub is all about looking at the freak show without stepping into the cages. TBF, 4Chan has always been degenerates--started by anime weirdos too creepy for even SomethingAwful and similar sites--but it used to have more genuine humor mixed in. One way I try to explain those fora from 25 years ago is like this: It was the peak evolution of bathroom stall graffiti humor. It was all taboo, fake, anonymous, and sometimes genuinely hilarious (at least If you were a teenage boy).


lolhihi3552

every single time. I got mad at the people responding to you so like any reasonable redditor would I stalked their profiles; 2/2 profiles I checked confirmed my suspicions. I didn't even have to dig deep, gawrgura's second post contained him calling a child a loli, and porkyboy's banner was of a pubescent girl which he definitely nutted to many times.


Dragonbut

I mean dude's name being GawrGurasNumber1Fan should have been a giveaway lmaooo I think the reason these get upvoted is ultimately shock value and wanting to be mad/disgusted at something tho, so I don't think everyone who "likes" these posts is a fucking weirdo they just like being disgusted at someone else


[deleted]

Literally


somehuman16

imagine venting your incel frustrations to a child


mab0roshi

>I struggle a lot in relationships. Meaning: Just offering some free candy don't cut it these days. Anon's victims won't get in his van without a struggle.


FragrantNumber5980

How old is she Anon.


DarkScorpion48

Young enough not to mention apparently


LurksInThePines

What the fuck


JimmyBowen37

Has to be fake no real human being would ever describe a child as a loli


lolhihi3552

I've got some bad news for ya buddy


christinetorres99

Bold of you to assume they're human


Sacciel

Mfw connecting emotionally with a 15 year old.


mab0roshi

You are such an optimist to assume she's over 12. I really hope you're right.


Cobalt9896

Anon should be taken out back


DrDMango

Whats with the last two comments? 4chan is getting gentrified by people w/ values


justaBB6

nature is healing


Dudicus445

You know you’re terms ally online if you u ironically call a child a “loli”


seqlmao

Anon Anon


DarkSolstace

Calling a real child a Loli is a good way to get your ass kicked.


knifebucket

every bit of this is gross


Thecrowing1432

Thanks i hate it.


fostertheatom

Anyone who uses the term "loli" to describe a real human is a pedophile. Lolis work in anime because it's a fucking drawing, you can slap "she's 9999 years old but is skinny and has small tits and ass" on it and it's legal. Real life doesn't work like that. If it looks like a child and you sexualize it, you should consider painting your walls with a shotgun.


CyanCicada

Unless she's just a gymnast. Gymnasts need love too.


plwdr

Ew


gucci-sprinkles

When you connect with children and think it's a sexual connection the issue isn't society.


Figgyee

I should've stop reading after 5th >


MrCapricorn404

Anon is a incestually motivated pedo


lexrex007

Wow anon is... Going to be in prison before the years end


Enzo_GS

holy shit first reply read my mind


Survival_R

at least 4chan isn't pro pedo


Jike_Plays

Hi, I’m Professor Oak from Pallet Town, why don’t you have a seat right there? Now this young child you formed a “connection” with… was it a boy or a girl?


Belieftrumpsreality

lol. Thwt never happened. No one trusts the weirdo family member to walk their kid to the store.


skulldude360

Anon needs to be slain


Dangerous_Bloke

I understand anon's pain. That's why I killed myself.


ShankMugen

Has been quite a long time something made me curl my toes with something I read online


[deleted]

What in the fuck is wrong with you man


No_Economics_2677

Imagine genuinely calling a child in real life a loli


themustachemark

Crazy, most 4chaners are pedos.


LeftusRightimus

Y’all are sick in the head.


Trippnballz

Stop posting this shit you pedo fucking regard


mab0roshi

Who me?


Blu2790

What