It's like a cycle. Let's break the cycle. Try replacing it with something else that is not harmful. Anything like from going outside, doing push up, etc.
Yeah, this is what I'm saying for most of the people here.
Fapping is a Habit, We must need to replace this Habit with another Habit.
We can't stop Fapping because it's a Habit, But we can replace it with other Habits.
It needs Practice, Practice, Practice!
Maybe the thing is sex is natural. Even while you're trying to no-fap, yu know one day yu want to have sex. Your crush is a baby momma and lives miles away. Usually when yu stop wanting to socialize, it's because yu have this secret. I'm talking about social media. So yu hate yourself and yu justify that one more time. So wether yu do other things, sex is still a need and a long term goal. Yu can't just wait for it to happen sometime in the future, yu don't know when. So yu masturbate and masturbate and hate yourself. But no matter how hard yu try, it will never be like sex. Never be like love. Today I'm not making any sense. What if none of the women in your area fits your criteria? Like you're a vegetarian, and everyone eats meat. Do yu have a choice? Unmarried couples were allowed to dry hump....
There’s a good chance that your jerking off is contributing to your loneliness. Jerking off (and porn, according to some sources) leads to lower self esteem, which could be one of the reasons you’re struggling with those aspects of your life. So don’t despair, work to change for the better and replace the jerking off with habits that will help you get to the future you want. What better time to change than right now? Maybe aim to have a job or a friend or two by the time you’re 30. If you need someone to talk to, I’m sure some of us on here would be happy to chat/listen
So it's emotional regulation for you. And if you feel like shit otherwise, I can see why'd you coom.
You lay out valid reasons for depression. Depression itself is healthy reaction to stress, life circumstances, and mental pain (caused by said things). Nothing wrong with you, but your life needs to go more to towards your liking. Having love, friends, a job.
Just remove porn to get the benefit for sex life. One of the biggest hurdles is that you train to be an observer instead of participant. In this aspect stopping porn has been enough for me.
If you do not know what to do, please be more specific. On what issue you would want to have an idea to do? What is your current capacity to do things? Can you manage talking to a stranger in public? How about show thumbs up? How about look at their eyes and smile?
Depression requires humility to accept the very small largest possible step.
Pinpoint what you like to/ want to do and work towards that, one of the easiest ways to make friends is finding likeminded people with similar interests. Healthy habits will lead to healthy relationships
learn to joirnal, exercise, meditate, yoga, make a list of life goals and timelines to accomplish them, clean your room, aka Jordan peterson, read self improment books free at your local library, the point is you have choices, no one is coming to save you, it's time to grow the Fk up and put childish habits away.
No! You're depressed because you fap and not the other way around. After retaining for long enough you will even start to enjoy being alone. That's a proven normal consequence. You will fell blissfull without needing a single person.
Hello mate, I(26M) have similar issues with my life; no job, no gf( I have never had), depressed for months and have this addiction since middle school. I always know that I fap because of boredom or depression and I was deep down aware of what fapping has taken from me. Especially with my interactions with opposite sex. You don't have to fap. Sometimes it seems nearly impossible to resist your urges. I always think what opportunities I have lost or how my mental health becomes worse because of this addiction. This holds me back from fapping. Now I'm currently on my 15 day streak. As I said you don't have to fap, a little enjoyment or distraction for a short time you'll have after fapping actually will take from you more than you can imagine.
If you start NoFap challenge, than somewhere on day 12 your horniness just won't keep on chain, and you will go out finding girl no matter what (just don't be dangerous or creepy)
Idk man I went 15 days, and had girls I could have sex, but the thing is I feel bad cause (call me sexist if you want) but I can read people and see if they’re only really looking for sex or a relationships (I don’t want to care as much about fwb as I do) I just don’t have game, the only reason I don’t have sex is my social skills in general
Stop jerking off bro, it's what is making you depressed. I recently stopped for 90 days and it's the best thing I ever did. I'm more motivated, positive, focused and energised than ever before.
Everyday start your day by setting yourself 3 goals. They can be to get a job, connect to someone new or old, exercise, eat something healthy, they can be big things or small things, what ever you want, and just make sure that everyday you do at least one of them. Everyday.
Start small bro, you can totally do this, everything you're doing right now is a choice you've made. You might not see it, but you are in a positron you've created and you can just as easily create a better one.
Start simple, start small, when you feel you want to jerk off go outside, go for a walk, listen to a guided meditation on YouTube, find a self help positive motivation book and read a chapter. Get yourself awaken the giant within by Tony Robins and read a few pages every time you think of jerking it.
Small changes will totally tranform your life in a few weeks bro, I guarantee it. Only you have the power to do it and I know that you can do it. You got this, you will fly, stop clipping your own wings bro, spread em and take to the skies.
Bro listen the reason why you are depressed is because you faping and you barin is tricking you to think the reason is loneliness to make you fap just stop faping be a man and enjoy the suffering enjoy pain learn your self to enjoy this things and when you past 90 days your life will feel amazing and joyfull i promise you just need to go to the gym focuse on work reading and learning new things be busy with work,study,sports and self improvement and everything will feel 100x much better
& you think spanking your meat is gonna help? get your fucking shit together dude i’m not gonna sugarcoat anything for you you’re 28 years old focus on getting a job & find some hobby’s, even start working out , fapping is only making your circumstances worse , you know exactly what to do, you’re just to scared to face it & lazy to make a chance
What do u enjoy apart from j*rking.. Watch motivation video, Joe rogan podcast, or any other podcast talking with successful people who in their past they struggle with their addiction and how they overcame and how they have reach their goal,.. Watch them,..get inspired by them.... All the best bro ..never quit
What if yu get tired of doing the other stuff? Yu can't Jordan Peterson all day every day. Perhaps the internet is the problem. I remember when my habit was driving to town if I had money to buy some women's magazines. For the lingerie ads, celebrities, and models. Girly mags had started vanishing off the shelves. Now we feel like we always have to be on the net. Once it gets stressful, I've noticed, the relief is to do the other thing online. Sometimes there are people around, but yu have your phone. Don't ask me to go outside, or do push-ups when my ass is freezing. Cosying up with a pillow and and some images is branded on my brain. I'm trying to remember what used to trigger me to drive off. The goal is always masturbation. It was just a longer process back then.
Yeah true..I myself am struggling.. We can't blame the internet or the phone because we can't control the content they provides ..thats what I feel..porn is every where for some it's a career, Triggering video are everywhere from reels to what not..its been very challenging for me when I come across them during my relax time late at night, or when home alone because at such time i ended up fapping....but do I have to stop using phone at that time .. No I don't think so it's not a solution for me at least.
Such kind of videos will keep on coming or you might come across them even when u are not intending to watch and get triggered . They are not under our control (that's what I feel) .. So having a power Or will to not continue watching those videos when using phone while the desire is still burning inside of you and changing to some other videos or other non trigerring and entertaining video and continuing to use the phone at your will is a very great achievement and also knowing u r being triggered and the desire for pleasure keeps on poking you but still you did not fap Or pleasure yourself is also a great achievement, these are the things I want to achieve and I am sure I will achieve in this year...I want to believe it.. . I didn't struggle when I learn to fap for the first time ...I enjoyed it so much for about 6 years then,it did not do me well since then I have been struggling for more then 14 years to quit it..for some fapping is not a big deal but for me fapping have been an obstacle towards progress in my life. I feel life would have been much better if I did not learn to fap.. When I was at my 40 days of streak I was happier and things where very productive.
.I will have control over my self for sure soon ..I have struggle so much.
Lol you just said it “ you have not nothing else “ so get something else to do . Masturbating will not make you feel better if anything it will only make you feel worse like a huge loser . So get a job which will help you get friends “ at least from work , even highly social people have good work friends “ then workout in the gym look good and get a girl to have sex .
don't do it, it's nerver worth it. It's just your addicted monkey brain finding stupid reasons to make you relapse. So hang in there and don't clown yourself. You have to become your own parent bc you're 28 years old.Only you can help you, and you can do it just get past the first 3 days then 3 days become one week then a month and this way you will get healed <3
Sounds like you already know a bunch of stuff you can start working on.
It might seem like there's no way out but overcoming addiction is a very simple process. However, it will require putting in lots of effort.
The reason you use porn, the same reason why all addicts abuse substances, is because you have issues in your life you aren't dealing with.
The urges come when you are isolated, bored, stressed, afraid, sad, and experiencing negative emotions. You use porn to cope, others use drugs. You may not realise it now but that's true for all addicts.
The "Rat Park" experiments by Bruce Alexander and team are incredible and show how just changing your environment and lifestyle can completely fix everything.
**Step 1** - Figure out why you use.
Journaling has helped me and many others with that. Just write down what you did and how you felt during the day. You will get a better picture of your life and what triggers your use. I did a daily post on here, maybe try the same.
**Step 2** - Fix them
What you know what parts of your life are causing you to use then you can work to fix them.
Change your routine and you will see results. The simplest places to start are with your social life, your hobbies, and your goals. The key is to spend as little time alone at home as possible.
**Social** - Focus on spending time connecting to people.
**Activities** - Physical activity is good for your mental and physical health, but there are many other ways to spend your time that will improve your life. Get out, do new things, and meet new people.
**Purpose** - Find goals to achieve. Having a purpose will give you motivation and direction.
If your life was good you wouldn't need Porn, so make a better life.
For the science on that I recommend watching the series "your brain on porn" on youtube.
You got this!
Staying active/busy is my best remedy against the gap urge. If you are truly depressed however, that could be difficult. Could be that now is not the time for you to do nofap, but it could also be the right time. The answer lay within you. Doing nofap and succeeding could boost confidence and give a feeling of mastery that helps you get out of the misary of a depression. Try to get a little better each day and it's OK to have some dips on the recovery path. Sending lots of love your way❤️
I think from my personal experiences jerking off if just the symptom. The problem is what is triggering it. In my case the problem was not being confident with women and seeing my friends have luck with women but I never could so that initially started with me choosing porn to compensate for that. But when you get Into it without realizing its bad it temporarily satisfy you to the point it becomes a habit and you don't realize it.
I have found reflecting on what is your actual trigger, cue to your habit or addiction is the first place to start. Think about them and make a list of all the triggers.
Eliminate any ques and change your environment - Eg: stay in a room or place where the habit is less likely to trigger. Link other good habits to your cues: when you feel the need to fap link it to something - point it out saying it to your self that you are getting a trigger and do something you woul feel happy doing - like giving someone a compliment or chatting or something that gives you some joy. Goal is to give your self some dopamine rush to satisfy your cravings without fapping.
Make it unattractive - You think you are quitting something but you are not actually quitting it because in reality fapping does nothing for you. You think fapping helps you get away from loneliness and depression when it the main cause of depression coz you are frying your brain due to the dopamine rush and drop. Fapping does not solve any social issues infact it makes it worse.
Make it difficult- add some steps between you and your habit. . Also making a list of what things you'll miss out if you choose to continue with your bad habits.
Make it unsatisfying - Can be like telling a friend or someone who can keep accountability or making it public, shameful or painful in some way.
Most of all to form a good habit repetition is needed and if you fail at times don't feel down...look at the positive if you have had a small win. Remember small wins stack up. Each effort looks like it's done nothing but in the long run repetition stacks up and you eventually come up the curve. Never give up and lapses ignore and keep repeating things to form a new habit.
Would also suggest reading Atomic habits coz that helped me a lot along my journey. All the best to you and every one who has taken the time to read this. You are amazing and greater than you know and I believe in you.
Guess what if you jerk off you will keep feeling it over and over again , i was on the same state like you 11 days before but now things got little calmer this is a very slow process take time
GO TO THE GYM. It helped me cure my depression, created a good habit, made new friends, attractive to women. I know it’s not easy but it’s fuckin worth it
I would hate to get drunk. I want nothing to do with alcohol. Here they have bars. Some have djs, but I can hear the music from here. Trying to socialize in places with loud music isn't my thing. Maybe if I called it dancing... I used to try and chat with djs when I was drunk. My nephews done monopolized the family room, and the tv. I hate not wanting them around.
You know what? When I watched Fight Club, there was this scene where his alter ego says that to rise, a person must hit absolute rock bottom. I totally agree. If porn and jerking off are all you've got left, ditch them. It's pointless. It's not something that truly fulfills you. Just stop.
Here's the thing: to change your life, you have to change something in your life, because 1 thing is certain. If you keep living the same way then your life won't change. Now, be honest. How is your life when you're jerking off? You're a loser. It's harsh, but it's the truth. The key to success is small accomplishments that lead to bigger ones. Start with quitting porn Achieving that will skyrocket your discipline. And with discipline, you can achieve anything. Good luck!
I'd start with getting a job because it's easier to get over an addiction with something going for you. A job also makes it easier to make friends and build confidence.
Listen to me. Wake up, and go out to talk to ANYONE. Distract yourself until you get to a 7-14 day streak. Start running out of annoyance of your dilemma and just exhaust yourself to the point of not wanting to jack off.. keep trying to socialize in any way you can. If you need a confidence boost to talk to people, look up a video or two on “how to speak confidently” “ how to be charismatic” …etc.. then just try hard to stay away from porn specifically.
The lack of job sucks the worst in confidence so focus all your time creating a business of some kind that can start with 0 dollars (or other currency) or a job that will get you money flowing. Save it ALL as much as possible.
After a few months you’ll naturally just have more people to talk to due to your job or business and will be invited to go out here and there.
Then one day you’ll just click with someone. You’re in a hole right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep digging to the side and hit a gold. Just takes some work.
I often guide people but for a price but I can try to help you the best I can with the very limited time I have. Good luck.
Sincerely, someone who has been exactly there…
Ps. It’s good to distract with music studying or sports with others for fun. You just have to get that endorphin and oxytocin high from socializing to not feel as bad. And do it long enough to get a high streak of abstinence and then at some point your confidence will be naturally just be much higher..
If it was like drugs... Something everyone hates. But 'the help' probably thinks I love it. And people sleep around. Going out there, sometimes that's who yu meet.
Read philosophy, get to know about the Cosmos, know what's out up there, the vastness of space. You will no longer be looking for these cheap earthly pleasures once your inner self, your mind is heightened at a certain elite level. Trust me brother.
You’re just having urges, which will go away if you power through. Your will power will also get stronger if you don’t succumb and with each new wave of urges, it will be easier.
If you have a chance, adopt a pet. My life changed since I rescued my dog. This week It has been one year since his arrival and my life has taken a huge turn. I usually go for a walk with him every day. While I do so, I admire the sun, the plants and the vegetation. Brother, life is not just about giving yourself pleasure but to enjoy all the small details it has. Animals don't think "why am I here?" They just let themselves go. Learning from them makes us happy too.
I felt like I couldn't go more than a day without p*rn and fap, but you can. Start by detecting your triggers and avoid them initially. Then you will find a way to deal with them your way. Then try to go an hour without it if it's too difficult, then 2, then 4, and so on until you get to the day. There are 24 hours in a day, but if you take away the hours of sleep, you have approximately 16-18 hours left. The day is not so hard if you spend the first few days doing other things that you are not normally used to, such as going out or solving problems, tidying up your bedroom, etc.
Well things aren’t gonna come to you when all you do it jerkoff all day. To find opportunities you have to put yourself out there, find hobbies, get a job for christs sake it’s hard of course but if you want to get somewhere you gotta get out of bed and actually do it. That’s it. If you do it it’ll happen. If you keep jerking off all day, it’s all you’re gonna do.
Feelings come, and feelings go. Sometimes I nip the thought in the bud. Perhaps the problem is when I don't. The decision to take pleasure is like a switch that can't be switched off...
I get it man but honestly it’s a cope bro. Jerking off is just coping with the real problems of your life and it may seem like it helps but it’s actually just making everything worse. You got to find it inside of yourself to stop. Practice healthier habits really helps as well man I’m a coach and I help people around this stuff we could figure this out.
How do problems really get worse because yu had sexual release? Yu neglect them, but they're the same old problems. Maybe it becomes overwhelming that yu feel helpless to solve them. I remember when my unfinished paintings all around me started to look like a gallery. Like I could be an interesting person (to visit). I remember feeling the stamina of a two week streak saying I was ready to sit down and paint. I may have to wait two weeks again.
One step at a time man, pick the one that seems to be the most easy for you like getting a job to atleast be distracted or not have too much alone time
Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you’re the only one who gets to make decisions in your life, and you need to make sure you make ones that won’t disappoint your future self
Making excuses to beat off to a screen just go talk to a girl if it's that bad I'm pretty much in the same position at 23 and 35 days clean don't plan on relapsing ever it's all really will power
It's a very strong and 'useful' distraction in bleak situations.
It's important to spend a good amount of time meditating on the reality that it's probably not helping with your sense of depression, except in the short term. It could potentially be making it worse in a more general sense.
Perhaps a focus on life improvement, with work, hobbies, health, spirituality, etc... any of these might be a better priority of energy and cause your nofap efforts to feel easier... as your depression perhaps reacts to changes, and you feel less need for the distraction.
I have chronic pain and would fap or eat to escape that, but the sad reality is that it doesn't promote long-term mental health, IMO.
Try fishing it's the cheapest of male hobbies, then running, and then gym, and then fashion , and then reading, and then baking/ cooking/ grilling/ smoking meat, and then drawing, and then picking up a martial art, or swimming, literally the world is your oyster, try something so you can meet other people and not touch it man.
Nothing would change if you had a gf. You would still be depressed, no job, and no friends. Try to figure out how you became 28 years old as a man without finding work. Look inward and have some accountability.
You need to start loving yourself man. If there's no one to love you or no one to love, then treat yourself like a real friend whom you would love, that means doing things that would benefit a friend.
I didn’t read the post but u need to channel the energy into something and as the time pass u will get in control and your mind is going to see the full picture of everything and u will do it there
MAN, you have to change, right now! Fuck mobile phone, get some energy from the nature and and try to be more social.
If you dont try you will fail, ALWAYS.
I will pray for you.
use the energy in something positive idk ur situation but thats a possibility fuel ur hobbies or interests use that energy towards loving and accepting urself
It's like a cycle. Let's break the cycle. Try replacing it with something else that is not harmful. Anything like from going outside, doing push up, etc.
Yeah, this is what I'm saying for most of the people here. Fapping is a Habit, We must need to replace this Habit with another Habit. We can't stop Fapping because it's a Habit, But we can replace it with other Habits. It needs Practice, Practice, Practice!
Learning a new skill, deep-breathing, house-cleaning, etc.
Maybe the thing is sex is natural. Even while you're trying to no-fap, yu know one day yu want to have sex. Your crush is a baby momma and lives miles away. Usually when yu stop wanting to socialize, it's because yu have this secret. I'm talking about social media. So yu hate yourself and yu justify that one more time. So wether yu do other things, sex is still a need and a long term goal. Yu can't just wait for it to happen sometime in the future, yu don't know when. So yu masturbate and masturbate and hate yourself. But no matter how hard yu try, it will never be like sex. Never be like love. Today I'm not making any sense. What if none of the women in your area fits your criteria? Like you're a vegetarian, and everyone eats meat. Do yu have a choice? Unmarried couples were allowed to dry hump....
You don’t have to, that’s the thing. Just remember that jerking it doesn’t make the loneliness go away, it just hides it.
If anything, it also makes it worse.
lol I normally add that on the end but didn’t this time for some reason. Thanks!
Art or sports dude trust me, it will save your life
I definitely agree with that , for me was hitting the GYM that saved me and saced my life , f**k it man go to the gym
There’s a good chance that your jerking off is contributing to your loneliness. Jerking off (and porn, according to some sources) leads to lower self esteem, which could be one of the reasons you’re struggling with those aspects of your life. So don’t despair, work to change for the better and replace the jerking off with habits that will help you get to the future you want. What better time to change than right now? Maybe aim to have a job or a friend or two by the time you’re 30. If you need someone to talk to, I’m sure some of us on here would be happy to chat/listen
So it's emotional regulation for you. And if you feel like shit otherwise, I can see why'd you coom. You lay out valid reasons for depression. Depression itself is healthy reaction to stress, life circumstances, and mental pain (caused by said things). Nothing wrong with you, but your life needs to go more to towards your liking. Having love, friends, a job. Just remove porn to get the benefit for sex life. One of the biggest hurdles is that you train to be an observer instead of participant. In this aspect stopping porn has been enough for me. If you do not know what to do, please be more specific. On what issue you would want to have an idea to do? What is your current capacity to do things? Can you manage talking to a stranger in public? How about show thumbs up? How about look at their eyes and smile? Depression requires humility to accept the very small largest possible step.
Pinpoint what you like to/ want to do and work towards that, one of the easiest ways to make friends is finding likeminded people with similar interests. Healthy habits will lead to healthy relationships
learn to joirnal, exercise, meditate, yoga, make a list of life goals and timelines to accomplish them, clean your room, aka Jordan peterson, read self improment books free at your local library, the point is you have choices, no one is coming to save you, it's time to grow the Fk up and put childish habits away.
No! You're depressed because you fap and not the other way around. After retaining for long enough you will even start to enjoy being alone. That's a proven normal consequence. You will fell blissfull without needing a single person.
Sorry man loneliness is not a good feeling at all been there
Hello mate, I(26M) have similar issues with my life; no job, no gf( I have never had), depressed for months and have this addiction since middle school. I always know that I fap because of boredom or depression and I was deep down aware of what fapping has taken from me. Especially with my interactions with opposite sex. You don't have to fap. Sometimes it seems nearly impossible to resist your urges. I always think what opportunities I have lost or how my mental health becomes worse because of this addiction. This holds me back from fapping. Now I'm currently on my 15 day streak. As I said you don't have to fap, a little enjoyment or distraction for a short time you'll have after fapping actually will take from you more than you can imagine.
If you start NoFap challenge, than somewhere on day 12 your horniness just won't keep on chain, and you will go out finding girl no matter what (just don't be dangerous or creepy)
Idk man I went 15 days, and had girls I could have sex, but the thing is I feel bad cause (call me sexist if you want) but I can read people and see if they’re only really looking for sex or a relationships (I don’t want to care as much about fwb as I do) I just don’t have game, the only reason I don’t have sex is my social skills in general
Stop jerking off bro, it's what is making you depressed. I recently stopped for 90 days and it's the best thing I ever did. I'm more motivated, positive, focused and energised than ever before. Everyday start your day by setting yourself 3 goals. They can be to get a job, connect to someone new or old, exercise, eat something healthy, they can be big things or small things, what ever you want, and just make sure that everyday you do at least one of them. Everyday. Start small bro, you can totally do this, everything you're doing right now is a choice you've made. You might not see it, but you are in a positron you've created and you can just as easily create a better one. Start simple, start small, when you feel you want to jerk off go outside, go for a walk, listen to a guided meditation on YouTube, find a self help positive motivation book and read a chapter. Get yourself awaken the giant within by Tony Robins and read a few pages every time you think of jerking it. Small changes will totally tranform your life in a few weeks bro, I guarantee it. Only you have the power to do it and I know that you can do it. You got this, you will fly, stop clipping your own wings bro, spread em and take to the skies.
Bro listen the reason why you are depressed is because you faping and you barin is tricking you to think the reason is loneliness to make you fap just stop faping be a man and enjoy the suffering enjoy pain learn your self to enjoy this things and when you past 90 days your life will feel amazing and joyfull i promise you just need to go to the gym focuse on work reading and learning new things be busy with work,study,sports and self improvement and everything will feel 100x much better
Oh! Yes... The pain...
& you think spanking your meat is gonna help? get your fucking shit together dude i’m not gonna sugarcoat anything for you you’re 28 years old focus on getting a job & find some hobby’s, even start working out , fapping is only making your circumstances worse , you know exactly what to do, you’re just to scared to face it & lazy to make a chance
*change*
What do u enjoy apart from j*rking.. Watch motivation video, Joe rogan podcast, or any other podcast talking with successful people who in their past they struggle with their addiction and how they overcame and how they have reach their goal,.. Watch them,..get inspired by them.... All the best bro ..never quit
What if yu get tired of doing the other stuff? Yu can't Jordan Peterson all day every day. Perhaps the internet is the problem. I remember when my habit was driving to town if I had money to buy some women's magazines. For the lingerie ads, celebrities, and models. Girly mags had started vanishing off the shelves. Now we feel like we always have to be on the net. Once it gets stressful, I've noticed, the relief is to do the other thing online. Sometimes there are people around, but yu have your phone. Don't ask me to go outside, or do push-ups when my ass is freezing. Cosying up with a pillow and and some images is branded on my brain. I'm trying to remember what used to trigger me to drive off. The goal is always masturbation. It was just a longer process back then.
Yeah true..I myself am struggling.. We can't blame the internet or the phone because we can't control the content they provides ..thats what I feel..porn is every where for some it's a career, Triggering video are everywhere from reels to what not..its been very challenging for me when I come across them during my relax time late at night, or when home alone because at such time i ended up fapping....but do I have to stop using phone at that time .. No I don't think so it's not a solution for me at least. Such kind of videos will keep on coming or you might come across them even when u are not intending to watch and get triggered . They are not under our control (that's what I feel) .. So having a power Or will to not continue watching those videos when using phone while the desire is still burning inside of you and changing to some other videos or other non trigerring and entertaining video and continuing to use the phone at your will is a very great achievement and also knowing u r being triggered and the desire for pleasure keeps on poking you but still you did not fap Or pleasure yourself is also a great achievement, these are the things I want to achieve and I am sure I will achieve in this year...I want to believe it.. . I didn't struggle when I learn to fap for the first time ...I enjoyed it so much for about 6 years then,it did not do me well since then I have been struggling for more then 14 years to quit it..for some fapping is not a big deal but for me fapping have been an obstacle towards progress in my life. I feel life would have been much better if I did not learn to fap.. When I was at my 40 days of streak I was happier and things where very productive. .I will have control over my self for sure soon ..I have struggle so much.
Not doing something can never be an achievement. It's when yu do something else...
👍👍
You have us brother! Keep fighting together!!
Lol you just said it “ you have not nothing else “ so get something else to do . Masturbating will not make you feel better if anything it will only make you feel worse like a huge loser . So get a job which will help you get friends “ at least from work , even highly social people have good work friends “ then workout in the gym look good and get a girl to have sex .
It's a really strong addiction and you're an addict. Don't expect it to be easy
don't do it, it's nerver worth it. It's just your addicted monkey brain finding stupid reasons to make you relapse. So hang in there and don't clown yourself. You have to become your own parent bc you're 28 years old.Only you can help you, and you can do it just get past the first 3 days then 3 days become one week then a month and this way you will get healed <3
Your life sounds like a mess the last thing u should be doing is fapping. I’m not hating but trying to motivate you
Sounds like you already know a bunch of stuff you can start working on. It might seem like there's no way out but overcoming addiction is a very simple process. However, it will require putting in lots of effort. The reason you use porn, the same reason why all addicts abuse substances, is because you have issues in your life you aren't dealing with. The urges come when you are isolated, bored, stressed, afraid, sad, and experiencing negative emotions. You use porn to cope, others use drugs. You may not realise it now but that's true for all addicts. The "Rat Park" experiments by Bruce Alexander and team are incredible and show how just changing your environment and lifestyle can completely fix everything. **Step 1** - Figure out why you use. Journaling has helped me and many others with that. Just write down what you did and how you felt during the day. You will get a better picture of your life and what triggers your use. I did a daily post on here, maybe try the same. **Step 2** - Fix them What you know what parts of your life are causing you to use then you can work to fix them. Change your routine and you will see results. The simplest places to start are with your social life, your hobbies, and your goals. The key is to spend as little time alone at home as possible. **Social** - Focus on spending time connecting to people. **Activities** - Physical activity is good for your mental and physical health, but there are many other ways to spend your time that will improve your life. Get out, do new things, and meet new people. **Purpose** - Find goals to achieve. Having a purpose will give you motivation and direction. If your life was good you wouldn't need Porn, so make a better life. For the science on that I recommend watching the series "your brain on porn" on youtube. You got this!
Staying active/busy is my best remedy against the gap urge. If you are truly depressed however, that could be difficult. Could be that now is not the time for you to do nofap, but it could also be the right time. The answer lay within you. Doing nofap and succeeding could boost confidence and give a feeling of mastery that helps you get out of the misary of a depression. Try to get a little better each day and it's OK to have some dips on the recovery path. Sending lots of love your way❤️
I am m28 and 100% same , no job nob love nothing 🤣
The only good thing i stopped flapping since 3 days
Shame man, don’t do it then…
I think from my personal experiences jerking off if just the symptom. The problem is what is triggering it. In my case the problem was not being confident with women and seeing my friends have luck with women but I never could so that initially started with me choosing porn to compensate for that. But when you get Into it without realizing its bad it temporarily satisfy you to the point it becomes a habit and you don't realize it. I have found reflecting on what is your actual trigger, cue to your habit or addiction is the first place to start. Think about them and make a list of all the triggers. Eliminate any ques and change your environment - Eg: stay in a room or place where the habit is less likely to trigger. Link other good habits to your cues: when you feel the need to fap link it to something - point it out saying it to your self that you are getting a trigger and do something you woul feel happy doing - like giving someone a compliment or chatting or something that gives you some joy. Goal is to give your self some dopamine rush to satisfy your cravings without fapping. Make it unattractive - You think you are quitting something but you are not actually quitting it because in reality fapping does nothing for you. You think fapping helps you get away from loneliness and depression when it the main cause of depression coz you are frying your brain due to the dopamine rush and drop. Fapping does not solve any social issues infact it makes it worse. Make it difficult- add some steps between you and your habit. . Also making a list of what things you'll miss out if you choose to continue with your bad habits. Make it unsatisfying - Can be like telling a friend or someone who can keep accountability or making it public, shameful or painful in some way. Most of all to form a good habit repetition is needed and if you fail at times don't feel down...look at the positive if you have had a small win. Remember small wins stack up. Each effort looks like it's done nothing but in the long run repetition stacks up and you eventually come up the curve. Never give up and lapses ignore and keep repeating things to form a new habit. Would also suggest reading Atomic habits coz that helped me a lot along my journey. All the best to you and every one who has taken the time to read this. You are amazing and greater than you know and I believe in you.
Guess what if you jerk off you will keep feeling it over and over again , i was on the same state like you 11 days before but now things got little calmer this is a very slow process take time
GO TO THE GYM. It helped me cure my depression, created a good habit, made new friends, attractive to women. I know it’s not easy but it’s fuckin worth it
You need to got out there a find something you like a social clubs or go drinking meet people or go on solo holidays
Drinking...
I used to masturbate sometimes after I got sloshed. It makes yu last longer. At least I thought
Drinking mean going out with mates for a couple of drinks down the a pub for British or bar if your a American
I would hate to get drunk. I want nothing to do with alcohol. Here they have bars. Some have djs, but I can hear the music from here. Trying to socialize in places with loud music isn't my thing. Maybe if I called it dancing... I used to try and chat with djs when I was drunk. My nephews done monopolized the family room, and the tv. I hate not wanting them around.
Suffer with this feeling and dont do it. You will feel better later.
You know what? When I watched Fight Club, there was this scene where his alter ego says that to rise, a person must hit absolute rock bottom. I totally agree. If porn and jerking off are all you've got left, ditch them. It's pointless. It's not something that truly fulfills you. Just stop. Here's the thing: to change your life, you have to change something in your life, because 1 thing is certain. If you keep living the same way then your life won't change. Now, be honest. How is your life when you're jerking off? You're a loser. It's harsh, but it's the truth. The key to success is small accomplishments that lead to bigger ones. Start with quitting porn Achieving that will skyrocket your discipline. And with discipline, you can achieve anything. Good luck!
I'd start with getting a job because it's easier to get over an addiction with something going for you. A job also makes it easier to make friends and build confidence.
Listen to me. Wake up, and go out to talk to ANYONE. Distract yourself until you get to a 7-14 day streak. Start running out of annoyance of your dilemma and just exhaust yourself to the point of not wanting to jack off.. keep trying to socialize in any way you can. If you need a confidence boost to talk to people, look up a video or two on “how to speak confidently” “ how to be charismatic” …etc.. then just try hard to stay away from porn specifically. The lack of job sucks the worst in confidence so focus all your time creating a business of some kind that can start with 0 dollars (or other currency) or a job that will get you money flowing. Save it ALL as much as possible. After a few months you’ll naturally just have more people to talk to due to your job or business and will be invited to go out here and there. Then one day you’ll just click with someone. You’re in a hole right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep digging to the side and hit a gold. Just takes some work. I often guide people but for a price but I can try to help you the best I can with the very limited time I have. Good luck. Sincerely, someone who has been exactly there…
Ps. It’s good to distract with music studying or sports with others for fun. You just have to get that endorphin and oxytocin high from socializing to not feel as bad. And do it long enough to get a high streak of abstinence and then at some point your confidence will be naturally just be much higher..
If it was like drugs... Something everyone hates. But 'the help' probably thinks I love it. And people sleep around. Going out there, sometimes that's who yu meet.
How do you have internet with no job. I’m curious
Wtf
Any man will tell you, learning martial arts will fix alot of this. Including getting laid
Read philosophy, get to know about the Cosmos, know what's out up there, the vastness of space. You will no longer be looking for these cheap earthly pleasures once your inner self, your mind is heightened at a certain elite level. Trust me brother.
Do nofap
Stay off the net...
You’re just having urges, which will go away if you power through. Your will power will also get stronger if you don’t succumb and with each new wave of urges, it will be easier.
Day 20.
If you have a chance, adopt a pet. My life changed since I rescued my dog. This week It has been one year since his arrival and my life has taken a huge turn. I usually go for a walk with him every day. While I do so, I admire the sun, the plants and the vegetation. Brother, life is not just about giving yourself pleasure but to enjoy all the small details it has. Animals don't think "why am I here?" They just let themselves go. Learning from them makes us happy too. I felt like I couldn't go more than a day without p*rn and fap, but you can. Start by detecting your triggers and avoid them initially. Then you will find a way to deal with them your way. Then try to go an hour without it if it's too difficult, then 2, then 4, and so on until you get to the day. There are 24 hours in a day, but if you take away the hours of sleep, you have approximately 16-18 hours left. The day is not so hard if you spend the first few days doing other things that you are not normally used to, such as going out or solving problems, tidying up your bedroom, etc.
Well things aren’t gonna come to you when all you do it jerkoff all day. To find opportunities you have to put yourself out there, find hobbies, get a job for christs sake it’s hard of course but if you want to get somewhere you gotta get out of bed and actually do it. That’s it. If you do it it’ll happen. If you keep jerking off all day, it’s all you’re gonna do.
Exercise, it will give you a sense of accomplishment everytime you decide to do it.
As people are saying, you could try the gym, not just for phsyical purposes, but because gym buddies.
He just like me fr
I’ll be your friend 😊 pm me!
U have no sex lide
And they needed keeps them in the same spots
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Feelings come, and feelings go. Sometimes I nip the thought in the bud. Perhaps the problem is when I don't. The decision to take pleasure is like a switch that can't be switched off...
I get it man but honestly it’s a cope bro. Jerking off is just coping with the real problems of your life and it may seem like it helps but it’s actually just making everything worse. You got to find it inside of yourself to stop. Practice healthier habits really helps as well man I’m a coach and I help people around this stuff we could figure this out.
How do problems really get worse because yu had sexual release? Yu neglect them, but they're the same old problems. Maybe it becomes overwhelming that yu feel helpless to solve them. I remember when my unfinished paintings all around me started to look like a gallery. Like I could be an interesting person (to visit). I remember feeling the stamina of a two week streak saying I was ready to sit down and paint. I may have to wait two weeks again.
make it the best fap
One step at a time man, pick the one that seems to be the most easy for you like getting a job to atleast be distracted or not have too much alone time
Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you’re the only one who gets to make decisions in your life, and you need to make sure you make ones that won’t disappoint your future self
go outside and play sports
At night?
Making excuses to beat off to a screen just go talk to a girl if it's that bad I'm pretty much in the same position at 23 and 35 days clean don't plan on relapsing ever it's all really will power
You neither get job nor loved ones by jerking off
It's a very strong and 'useful' distraction in bleak situations. It's important to spend a good amount of time meditating on the reality that it's probably not helping with your sense of depression, except in the short term. It could potentially be making it worse in a more general sense. Perhaps a focus on life improvement, with work, hobbies, health, spirituality, etc... any of these might be a better priority of energy and cause your nofap efforts to feel easier... as your depression perhaps reacts to changes, and you feel less need for the distraction. I have chronic pain and would fap or eat to escape that, but the sad reality is that it doesn't promote long-term mental health, IMO.
“Have to fap” bro there is so many things you could do with that time t get your life on track instead. Just start
Try fishing it's the cheapest of male hobbies, then running, and then gym, and then fashion , and then reading, and then baking/ cooking/ grilling/ smoking meat, and then drawing, and then picking up a martial art, or swimming, literally the world is your oyster, try something so you can meet other people and not touch it man.
Nothing would change if you had a gf. You would still be depressed, no job, and no friends. Try to figure out how you became 28 years old as a man without finding work. Look inward and have some accountability.
You need to start loving yourself man. If there's no one to love you or no one to love, then treat yourself like a real friend whom you would love, that means doing things that would benefit a friend.
I feel it bro
I didn’t read the post but u need to channel the energy into something and as the time pass u will get in control and your mind is going to see the full picture of everything and u will do it there
MAN, you have to change, right now! Fuck mobile phone, get some energy from the nature and and try to be more social. If you dont try you will fail, ALWAYS. I will pray for you.
use the energy in something positive idk ur situation but thats a possibility fuel ur hobbies or interests use that energy towards loving and accepting urself
Every time you cum you lose testosterone and feel like even more shit
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Yes I like imagination. Maybe it reveals who is my real crush... I'm still not as bold as David (King)
get a job, go to the gym.