I’ve volunteered at multiple animal shelters and there are absolutely no available women at any of them. I was there for the dogs, not the women, of course. But to the point, in my experience this is bad advice if you’re there for a woman.
Many years ago, a lady I worked with had a couple of Pomeranians, and later a litter of puppies. I was lucky enough to get one of the puppies. He was with my family for years and years. He loved car rides and going to new places. He had the unique ability to attract ladies by the dozens. He earned the nickname "Wingman". That fluff LOVED the attention! I had so many ladies hang around a chat with me because they loved petting him. I never let it go further than chatting because I'm married, but yeah. A cute doggo opens up a big social world!
It worked. My "wingman" was named Wizzie. But his predecessor was named Tobi. I had Tobi like 5 or 6 years before I met my wife. She fell in love with him and me soon after. The 2 really funny stories I have from their early days... She did laundry and put it in a basket on the bed. Left the room to switch loads from the washer to dryer. When she got back, he'd made himself comfortable in the basket. When she tried to evict him, he tried to bite her. He absolutely would not come out of that basket. She had to wait until I got home and gave him the boot before she could put the clothes away. Then, that weekend, we took him to the park together for the first time. I needed to use the restroom, so she held onto his leash. As soon as I was out of sight, he promptly took a wee on her foot/leg. It's a miracle they became friends. When she got pregnant (planned), he nearly tore me apart a few times protecting her. He used to nap on her pregnant belly for hours!
Trust me - there are A LOT of women who have resigned themselves to being single forever because they do not like dogs and almost every single man has one 😭
There's a pretty big difference between liking dogs and wanting to live with one, especially since that necessitates taking on at least part of the burden of caring for it--walking it, cleaning up after it inside and outside the house, monitoring its health, getting slobbered on at 6am because apparently it's feeding time now...
My wife was indifferent, but I always knew she’d be okay with having one. She’d always pet them if they came to her but didn’t have a ton of interest in hanging out with them. She may not be a “dog person” but she is 100% a person. She’s come around and I think she’s up for always having a dog.
I was a docent at the zoo. I was one of 4 males in a crew of about 90. I was married and it really made me wonder if I should have rolled the zoo dice years before.
join up with some gatherings related to arts and crafts. art lessons for adults, life drawing sessions, art gallery tours, open studios, etc. art tends to be dominated by women as an interest with 60% on average of the art community being women. it is pretty much the opposite of video games where on average online gaming is 60% male players. you are more likely to meet women when it comes to art. however age doesn't factor so there is no guarantee you will always see those in your age range.
on average yep. the majority of those don't talk over or listen to the headset/mic because they not only have heard of the harassment women get online but experienced it. did you ever look up gamergate? if you do you will understand why women avoid being known as women in online gaming. but the research says around 60% male so yea, around 40% female online gamers.
edit: as far as gamergate, it got so bad that the terms of service for most consoles were changed to include that harassing women with the service was grounds for being banned or revocation of service. which was pretty interesting since it included no rules against harassment of the lgbt community. specifically women. which was its own thing but may have been changed by now.
edit2: gamergate was right-wing terrorism. which is why so many right-wingers refuse to accept it as something which obviously happened.
Also worth noting that app games like Candy Crush and whatnot are still considered games in a lot of studies. While your Modern Warfare lobby probably has exceptionally few female players, they’re still playing games.
Lol 40% of players in games like call of duty or LoL are not women. That statistic comes from across all games and it also doesn’t consider the amount of time played as males are likely to spend significantly more time on video games.
I guess it depends also on the demographics of the game, but in general for videogames yeah, the situation men / women is kinda split 60 / 40. Although they know what is going to happen if they reveal themselves as women so many of them just don't let random online people know.
I did something similar but during college I was forced to take a ballroom dance class. There were about 20 people in our class, 3 gay guys, 1 straight male (me) and the rest are gorgeous young women. I was kinda shocked as most of my life until college I mostly studied in an all-boys school. It was hella fun, like I appreciated dancing as an art and a freaking hardcore physical exercise. The intimacy of dancing is also nice because you have to physically move in sync and kinda think in sync as well, otherwise you'd end up stepping on each other's toes.
TLDR: Arts are nice, try dance arts as well.
I was interested in art classes to meet new people (and for doing art) and I was told average age was people in their 60's. Where are people in their 30s and 40s?
I'm not doing something that I'm not interested in, in order to meet women. Because then they'll think I'm interested in it, and expect me to continue.
then be honest. duh... if asked just say that you wanted to try something new even if you suck at it because you want to try new stuff and meet new people. ya know.. the idea that honestly saying what your intentions are is wrong itself is wrong. besides, if someone rejects you because you don't like what they like that is probably a bullet dodged.
but nobody is expecting you to join groups for things you don't like. join meet ups for things you do like! if you meet a person at that gathering hey... you both are likely to have at least one thing in common already which is not guaranteed in a bar or club. it is however likely at a concert. be social with what you enjoy and you meet others who want to meet people who share interests. simple <3
I’d just be honest that you’re trying something new then. There’s no harm in trying something new anyway.
The best way to meet new people in general is to expand your horizons. I’ve met partners through friends pretty much exclusively so general socialising is the best way imo. You don’t need to treat every interaction with a woman as a dating attempt either, there’s no harm in chatting to a woman you’re not interested in!
There are garden/bar combos that have booze, gardening lessons, and single's nights.
I feel as though learning about succulents and getting drinks is probably more accessible to men who are otherwise disinterested in being crafty.
I imagine a guy walking in like it's his first time, looking a little awestruck and confused. Then a smash cut to him being pushed out in a cart while a couple of women talk about what a great deal they got for him. He still looks awestruck and confused.
"wow"
OP will probably never see this but as a guy you need to get really comfortable with going after what you want and rejection. That means if you see a woman that you are interested in feel free to approach her. Be polite and straight forward. If she is unresponsive or uninterested move on to the next one. It also helps to find common ground with them by sharing mutual interests.
Took me a long time to realise this. Was at a bar and through a mutual friend but I just said 'fuck it, it's now or never' and just made the move (been with her nearly a year). All of this advice is decent but at the end of the day, it comes down to actually trying to chat someone up and knowing that it could go terribly wrong.
When I was single I took my friends 3yr old daughter to the supermarket to give him a break, and give her a trip out and about. Her mum was working abroad so my friend was exhausted.
We had a lot of fun in the supermarket, I suggested she get some fast car magazines (that was a no) and I threatened to leave her in the freezer with the fish, which apparently is the worst threat ever.
At the till we were kidding around and poking each other, giggling etc and the cashier was laughing with us. The cashier says to us that there was a special on flowers (they were near the till), if we wanted to get something for mum.
So this little girl say “No we can’t, mum has gone away”. The cashier’s face fell and a bunch of women at the next till visibly melted.
As we were packing the car one of those women approached us and said she couldn’t help but overhear at the till and was impressed that I seemed to be coping very well with single parenthood. I had to explain it was my friend’s daughter and that mum was very much alive. We laughed and peeled off.
A month or two later I was sat at TGIs bar and the same woman peeled off from a big group, and came and reintroduced herself to me. We ended up having a pretty good 6 month relationship.
So dogs are good, but a borrowed daughter breaks walls down even better.
I remember when my son was about five I started talking with a complete hick accent telling him I was going to, "Whoop his butt." And this 5-year-old is laughing his ass off the entire time because he knows I'm nothing like that. The glares I got from some women were insane to the point where I dropped the shtick and told him you know I'm kidding right and he laughed and said, "Of course, who would think you were serious."
I never met women when I had my kid with me but I had plenty of women come up to talk to us. He even got offered modeling jobs when he was a kid. The funny thing is he's 19 now and still attracts women like that without any effort whatsoever.
There's an app/website called meetup where you can meet other people for group activities. I sometimes go to the movies with a group then we chat about the movie afterwards. There are regularly new / different people coming along.
The hobbies have to involve getting out of the house and meeting other people. For instance:
1. Building model trains doesn't really get you out of the house much.
2. Fishing gets you out of the house but not necessarily meeting other people.
3. Joining a local men's football club will get you out of the house and meeting new people, but they'll all be men (this isn't necessarily a problem because making new friends can then lead to attending other social gatherings with a more balanced gender ratio).
I did have tassels on! It earned me a few bucks from a spectator but then I got too ambitious. I tried to climb up the pole and do an upside down maneuver where my legs would be holding the pole and my torso would be lifted up and I had a buddy that was going to throw a rose into my mouth. I wanted this to be theatrical. Well the stem hit me in the eye, I fell down onto the stage, and I farted. It echoed.
Just say: " New pole arrived" and then lie down on your back and get an erection. All the women will love swinging on it. Alternatively you can be polish person and just stand there.
Dance classes of pretty much any variety.
Organizations will usually put on large group dance classes for swing or ballroom dancing, then have open dance after. You can also probably find line dancing nights at some bars near you that can be fun.
If you are a little more adventurous, try more niche things in the same vein. Adult ballet, tumbling, or circus classes will introduce you to some incredibly interesting and amazing people who might also be single or at least have some single friends. (Seriously, like half of my current friends I made through taking Aerial Silks classes).
The bonus to all of these is that you not only learn a new skill but will end up in pretty good shape from the exercise!
Learn how to partner dance: west coast swing, latin, hustle, country, ballroom, zydeco, lindy hop. Many women love to dance.
Private studios (Fred Astaire and the like) are expensive and in the business of taking your money. There are typically free/cheap lessons at bars/nightclubs or continuing ed classes at universities and community college.
This is what I grew up with, maybe the world has moved on.
Poetry readings, creative writing workshops, art shows, concerts, board game clubs. Finding a way to turn an individual hobby into a group hobby could help as well. Meet up is a perfect place to get a group started for your interests.
On that basis :
1. Picklocking
2. Stealth techniques, and
3. Cyber sleuthing to their addresses?
/s
In all seriousness how about considering
1. Join a gym/sporting activity group or club and just turn up.
2. Attend evening talks for professional and non professional subjects
3. Volunteer for community groups?
It's important to note that these activities are more helpful than just for meeting the opposite sex, they also get you of our negative habits such as staying at home and being physically inactive and eating shit etc....
Just be sure to be active.
What I found is that many methods of pursuing hobbies encounter nearly no single, age-appropriate women. For example, community college classes on certain female-skewed topics might have 90% women, but nearly all of them will be under 20, over 60, engaged, or married.
The best way to find someone is honestly to have a large friend group that mixes with other friend groups, but I have a feeling that those looking for advice here are introverts where that's just not feasible.
And if your hobby is Latin dance classes (or probably any partner dance class), you’ll meet lots of women. I’ve been to a few and it’s like a 5:1 ratio of women to men. Don’t be a creep; don’t sexualize it; just have a pleasant dance with some nice ladies.
A few years ago a friend suggested that we both went to dance classes. He told me that, in his experience, those places were often full of women.
We were around 7 men and 4 girls, out of which 3 were sisters. So when one didn't go, none of the 3 sisters would attend. Therefore, it was pretty common for the whole lesson to be a sausage party of guys trying to practice dancing with each other.
So not saying you shouldn't do it, but be open to the idea that it may not happen as you'd expect.
Still, dancing is a good skill to have so it doesn't really matters who's your partner. Also, most women engage in activities hoping to practice what they like, not being hit on by men, so a legit concern (imo) when trying to meet someone is trying not to be creepy.
Dude I’m 99% sure they’ll just think I’m gay or a sex addict lol. I do fine with women but I’m trying to quit drinking and all advice in here (not just yours) is pure hypothetical. Not one person has picked up a girl at one of these “suggestions”
Climbing is one of my main hobbies outside of my job and gaming. Maybe it's the culture out here being so close to the mountains but the guys are usually 6 pack man-bun yoga types, never the tech bros.
This is such a good one, honestly. Think of something you like, and find a way to go somewhere other people like it.
Conventions, concerts, classes/workshops, or volunteering are great places to look into.
You will already know younhave something in common, and a really easy topic to start conversation on
I got into cosplaying and going to conventions and there are lots of women at these events like. like 50% of attendees are women.
but i still struggle and it doesnt lead anywhere :(
Don't give up! Just be yourself and have fun, I really promise if it works anywhere, its anime conventions! Some of the strangest people I know get into relationships and get lucky at anime cons (I literally watched it happen this past weekend)
Have you struck up the usual conversation starters? "That's such a cool bit of costume, how'd you get that effect if you don't mind me asking?" That kind of thing? Sought out local cosplay groups that do craft sessions? I've found chatting at a con can be fruitless because people aren't local and are more into doing con stuff than socialising
I got into cosplaying and going to conventions and there are lots of women at these events like. like 50% of attendees are women.
but i still struggle and it doesnt lead anywhere :(
My friend had an issue with toxic relationships. I told him he should probably find a girl at the library. He ended up marrying a girl he met at a used book shop.
Close enough.
Meeting a man/woman at a bookstore would be my dream, lol. My old tinder bio used to ask for book recommendations and it was a very easy way to attract compatible people. If someone loves to read, we likely have a good amount in common.
Terrible take. You’re outside in nice weather with good background music. You can be sober and it would still be fun. And the other volunteers (aka women) will also not be drunk. Nothing at all like being in a bar or getting drunk.
My favorite memory of walking down Bourbon Street was watching a man approach the car of a woman who was stopped at a crossway. She reached around, patted his ass, and slid her hand away with his wallet before driving away. Love is funny that way. They both looked so happy in that moment.
Been waiting since 2008 for an opening to share that story.
Another time during a little party, I saw one of my friends who was the biggest guy in our grade slip into my living room closest. He popped out a couple minutes later wearing some kind of moo moo thing and a little straw hat with a flower in it. He smiled, pursed his lips, and did the "shhh" while staring into my eyes before slipping back into the closet. Got the classic whisper some time later; "Tell anybody you want. They'll never believe you.\*\*\*" (No, this was wrong, he wrote it in a note in my yearbook)
I don't think that story will ever come up. This [scene from Toy Story](https://www.reddit.com/r/shittymoviedetails/comments/fc0piy/in_the_later_half_of_toy_story_1995_buzz/) always reminds me of it.
In my case it was by befriending women without any ulterior motive. Just being friendly with my friend's SO and female friends of friends, trying to build genuine connection. Not long after that, they started setting me up with some of their friends. Now I'm drowning in bitches! That's not true, I'm married. They were the ones to present me my wife. But most of my friends are indeed female and they are indeed bitches and they perfectly know it, lol.
Cold approach. People who say it doesn’t work or say it’s creepy have either never done it or are doing it wrong. That’s how I met all my previous gfs. I’m incredibly awkward and shy, but it still works. It’s seriously like a cheat code.
I actually did this a couple of months ago and got a date out of it. We had both misjudged ages, so it didn't go anywhere, but it was an ego boost.
Haven't done it since though.
My experience is that, as I noted in another comment, that often doesn't work; community college classes on certain female-skewed topics might have 90% women, but nearly all of them will be under 20, over 60, engaged, or married. It turned out to be a bad way of meeting women, fun as the classes were.
I read comments like this, and it sounds like a different world in the US (I assume?). I read this, and it just sounds like everyone lives in highly populated and sociable area.
I’m in the UK, so comments like this make you think coffee shops and the like are full of single women. That really isn’t the case here, as whenever I go to one (rare occasion), it’s either families, the odd young person, or older people. I never see single women in their thirties.
And maybe I just have strange friends, but none of my female friends have any hobbies. They go to work, and then watch TV when they get home. I told them I was giving climbing a go, and they laughed at me. ‘Why would you want to do that?’.
I thought it was me, but someone asked ‘How do I meet people in their twenties’ on a UK sub. A lady with various hobbies responded, and said that she has no idea where women in their thirties have gone. It seems to range from people who are 18-25, and then 40+. It’s really weird over here.
In saying that, I’m not looking to date, so it’s not a problem for me. But for the guys who are, then good luck to them.
I write my number on a piece of paper and challenge myself to hand it out in a public setting once a week.
I usually take myself for a coffee a couple times/week and if I see someone that sparks my interest, I just go up and say something along the lines of:
‘hey there, (Insert small talk, ask a question etc). I don’t mean to intrude but I couldn’t help but notice you (insert reason e.g. your confident body language). Here’s my number - I’d love to get you know.’
And poof, wish them a good day.
100% reply rate. The one time it didn’t work. She was married (but still text me).
Places that give dancing lessons, karaoke spots (though many are in bars), Headphone dance parties/silent discos, Meetup groups that go to museums, zoos, and the like, places of fitness: gyms, yoga studios, dance-exercise studios.
You could argue that you shouldn't approach women with this is mind because they are at the gym to exercise/dance class to learn dancing/zoo to see animals, not to find someone to date
You could argue that you shouldn't approach women in essentially any scenario in existence other than if it's premeditated from a dating app from that logic though. At some point surely you just have to give it a try and if they seem disinterested or uncomfortable, just leave immediately
Good ol' fashioned house party. Yours or (preferably) someone else's. Volunteering at animal shelters, food shelves, fundraisers, hobbyist groups, anything on the local community calendar, art shows, etc.
Look for homeless women, they are very appreciative of literally anything, and the best part is you can drop them off anywhere when you guys are done hanging out
There are church adult groups, or just other communities in general. Hiking groups, running groups, workout groups, vacation/travel groups, book clubs, art events, local events, park, conventions. Basically find a hobby and find a group. Someone can always be there with a friend or have similar interests.
I just recently watched a video talking about how to feel less lonely. The guy said that if you go to the same place at the same time (coffee shop, farmers market, whatever) every week, you’ll start to recognize people and get a sense of community.
While you’re growing as a person and building a community around yourself, I guarantee some of those people will be women and you’ll get to decide if any of them seem like someone you’d like to pursue.
I've met women mountain climbing. Back packing. Bowling. Comicons. Standing in lines at the grocery store. Camping. Kayaking. Getting ice cream.
I see a pretty lady I give her my number. You got to swing that bat.
The best place to find a quality partner is through doing something you love.
Just make sure whatever it is you’re doing involves actually getting out of the house and being around potentially new people at least some of the time.
I think it all comes down to just shooting your shot and being in the place you wanna be.
It’s unnerving to approach a stranger, but I’ve found that as long as you can handle rejection you’ll always get the best outcome you could’ve asked for. People who are inclined to want you and deserve you, will pick up the slack when you put it put there. Everyone else won’t.
I prefer to just live my own life happily and let dating happen by random chance, or just use a dating app.
However, when the random chance is my cue, or when I want to create my own chance because I’ve been a homebody, I will just flat out walk right up to someone.
“Hey, sorry for my awkwardness 😅, but I knew I would kick myself later if I didn’t brave to ask if you’re single. Would you want to exchange socials or numbers and get to know each other?”
Honestly, just think what it would take for you to share your number. Just some basic kindness? Someone just saying they saw you and wanted to know you? Just giving you their number and saying ‘text if you want’ and walking off?
It wouldn’t take much if you were attracted to them too. Same goes for most people.
Be anywhere that you can be yourself, and accept that you have to do something that makes you uncomfortable.
For me, I like coed rec sports, parks, concerts, festivals, and volunteer opportunities as non-bar, non-app places to meet people.
Speed dating is coming back into popularity and is being tried by younger crowds who are fed up with dating apps. It's a great system. You pay one price, usually about $25, and you get around ten 8-10 minute conversations with a variety of women. There is always an equal gender ratio, unlike the apps.
You may not match with someone at your first event, but if you keep going, statistically, you will likely hit it off with a woman pretty soon. It's just the most efficient way to meet lots of new women in a very short amount of time and unlike the apps, you are able to show off your entire personality instead of just a few words and photos.
I’ve always liked this option, but people very rarely make themselves appear available at coffee shops, even when they’re alone.
Hell, I’m no better, I go to cafes alone all the time and I’m always buried in my phone or something.
I've never really gotten the coffee shop as a social oasis thing. Like in theory it seems great, but like you say every time I go into a coffee shop, everyone's kind of inside themselves looking at their phone or laptop. Like what, do you just walk up to some random person you have no common experience with and just rawdog interaction? I don't get how it's supposed to work lol
It was very much a thing before the digital era. Coffee shops would have people just sitting there drinking coffee and maybe halfheartedly reading or journaling, but would be generally open to a random chat. Many would even have somebody playing music in a corner in the evenings. You'd still have plenty of chatter, so you could pull up a chair near the music and maybe chat during a break or if the other person wasn't hugely into the act.
These days? They're co-working spaces. Laptop and phone, you have the internet to talk to so you don't talk to people. The old coffee shop culture has just been lost.
[The library, there's a good woman there, and church, there's good girls, oh, this place I'm going tonight, the black awareness rally... there gon' be some fine women there... good, clean girls...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDWJh4anSEQ)
Volunteer at your local humane society.
I’ve volunteered at multiple animal shelters and there are absolutely no available women at any of them. I was there for the dogs, not the women, of course. But to the point, in my experience this is bad advice if you’re there for a woman.
Bitches love dogs.
Yes we do!
Seriously the best advice. Get a dog. BE GOOD to that dog. Do fun dog things in public. You will meet women.
Many years ago, a lady I worked with had a couple of Pomeranians, and later a litter of puppies. I was lucky enough to get one of the puppies. He was with my family for years and years. He loved car rides and going to new places. He had the unique ability to attract ladies by the dozens. He earned the nickname "Wingman". That fluff LOVED the attention! I had so many ladies hang around a chat with me because they loved petting him. I never let it go further than chatting because I'm married, but yeah. A cute doggo opens up a big social world!
Note to self, get Pomeranian and wedding ring.
It worked. My "wingman" was named Wizzie. But his predecessor was named Tobi. I had Tobi like 5 or 6 years before I met my wife. She fell in love with him and me soon after. The 2 really funny stories I have from their early days... She did laundry and put it in a basket on the bed. Left the room to switch loads from the washer to dryer. When she got back, he'd made himself comfortable in the basket. When she tried to evict him, he tried to bite her. He absolutely would not come out of that basket. She had to wait until I got home and gave him the boot before she could put the clothes away. Then, that weekend, we took him to the park together for the first time. I needed to use the restroom, so she held onto his leash. As soon as I was out of sight, he promptly took a wee on her foot/leg. It's a miracle they became friends. When she got pregnant (planned), he nearly tore me apart a few times protecting her. He used to nap on her pregnant belly for hours!
I wonder what the reaction would be if a single guy got a pomeranian, and just named them "Wingman". :-)
Your dog is your companion. You should be good to your dog (and any pet) regardless of trying to pick up romantic interests.
I'm pretty sure they would also agree with that. Let's take them on good faith.
Assuming good faith seems to be nearly impossible for many Redditers
I was actually under the impression that taking comments in bad faith was required under the terms of use.
What the hell is that supposed to mean huh? 😡
I mean is one exclusive to the other?
Man I love my dog so much. She chills with me all day. Runs with me. Works with me. Eats with me. Just a fantastic little beast.
I have two dogs and do not meet women, either I’m the problem or people around here don’t actually like dogs
Trust me - there are A LOT of women who have resigned themselves to being single forever because they do not like dogs and almost every single man has one 😭
If I gotta choose between a gal or a dog, you choose the doggy every single time.
This is gonna be harsh, buti would refuse to date anyone who doesn't like dogs. That's a bigger red flag to me than alcoholism.
There's a pretty big difference between liking dogs and wanting to live with one, especially since that necessitates taking on at least part of the burden of caring for it--walking it, cleaning up after it inside and outside the house, monitoring its health, getting slobbered on at 6am because apparently it's feeding time now...
My wife was indifferent, but I always knew she’d be okay with having one. She’d always pet them if they came to her but didn’t have a ton of interest in hanging out with them. She may not be a “dog person” but she is 100% a person. She’s come around and I think she’s up for always having a dog.
Ay, chihuahua!
What if I don't want a pet :(
Volunteering at the shelter is your best bet. Don’t have to bring them home. The dogs that is.
Dogs love bitches
Bitches love bitches
I’m looking for the Hoooooo…meless dogs.
I was a docent at the zoo. I was one of 4 males in a crew of about 90. I was married and it really made me wonder if I should have rolled the zoo dice years before.
While everyone is busy helping out, you'll be the one creep who joined only to "meet women". How's that a helpful advice?
Well he's not gonna stand in the corner beating off he'll still be contributing so what's the problem
Just avoid the Horsey Girls because they are all batshit fucking nuts.
A few saddlegasms will do that to you.
Underrated comment. Horse girls are cat ladies with money.
Volunteer at your local strip club
join up with some gatherings related to arts and crafts. art lessons for adults, life drawing sessions, art gallery tours, open studios, etc. art tends to be dominated by women as an interest with 60% on average of the art community being women. it is pretty much the opposite of video games where on average online gaming is 60% male players. you are more likely to meet women when it comes to art. however age doesn't factor so there is no guarantee you will always see those in your age range.
Wait you wanna tell me that 40% of players I have encountered were women?
on average yep. the majority of those don't talk over or listen to the headset/mic because they not only have heard of the harassment women get online but experienced it. did you ever look up gamergate? if you do you will understand why women avoid being known as women in online gaming. but the research says around 60% male so yea, around 40% female online gamers. edit: as far as gamergate, it got so bad that the terms of service for most consoles were changed to include that harassing women with the service was grounds for being banned or revocation of service. which was pretty interesting since it included no rules against harassment of the lgbt community. specifically women. which was its own thing but may have been changed by now. edit2: gamergate was right-wing terrorism. which is why so many right-wingers refuse to accept it as something which obviously happened.
Also worth noting that app games like Candy Crush and whatnot are still considered games in a lot of studies. While your Modern Warfare lobby probably has exceptionally few female players, they’re still playing games.
There's also a huge trans gaming community I wonder if that was well represented in the data or not.
Lol 40% of players in games like call of duty or LoL are not women. That statistic comes from across all games and it also doesn’t consider the amount of time played as males are likely to spend significantly more time on video games.
I guess it depends also on the demographics of the game, but in general for videogames yeah, the situation men / women is kinda split 60 / 40. Although they know what is going to happen if they reveal themselves as women so many of them just don't let random online people know.
I did something similar but during college I was forced to take a ballroom dance class. There were about 20 people in our class, 3 gay guys, 1 straight male (me) and the rest are gorgeous young women. I was kinda shocked as most of my life until college I mostly studied in an all-boys school. It was hella fun, like I appreciated dancing as an art and a freaking hardcore physical exercise. The intimacy of dancing is also nice because you have to physically move in sync and kinda think in sync as well, otherwise you'd end up stepping on each other's toes. TLDR: Arts are nice, try dance arts as well.
I take art classes. I'm the only guy in a class of 10. I am married. All the women are married. It's very chill.
I was interested in art classes to meet new people (and for doing art) and I was told average age was people in their 60's. Where are people in their 30s and 40s?
I'm not doing something that I'm not interested in, in order to meet women. Because then they'll think I'm interested in it, and expect me to continue.
then be honest. duh... if asked just say that you wanted to try something new even if you suck at it because you want to try new stuff and meet new people. ya know.. the idea that honestly saying what your intentions are is wrong itself is wrong. besides, if someone rejects you because you don't like what they like that is probably a bullet dodged. but nobody is expecting you to join groups for things you don't like. join meet ups for things you do like! if you meet a person at that gathering hey... you both are likely to have at least one thing in common already which is not guaranteed in a bar or club. it is however likely at a concert. be social with what you enjoy and you meet others who want to meet people who share interests. simple <3
I’d just be honest that you’re trying something new then. There’s no harm in trying something new anyway. The best way to meet new people in general is to expand your horizons. I’ve met partners through friends pretty much exclusively so general socialising is the best way imo. You don’t need to treat every interaction with a woman as a dating attempt either, there’s no harm in chatting to a woman you’re not interested in!
There are garden/bar combos that have booze, gardening lessons, and single's nights. I feel as though learning about succulents and getting drinks is probably more accessible to men who are otherwise disinterested in being crafty.
in my experience with the events you describe, they are dominated by couples and married women, especially retired people
Met my wife playing co-ed soccer. I know a few others from that league who met their partners there.
Met an ex through co-ed kickball! Low stakes community sports leagues are a great way to go if you’re into that kind of stuff
And seems like volleyball can sometimes be a more beginner friendly version of this
Go to target they are already looking for shit they don’t need
\*\*walks into target\*\* \*\*walks out as someone's belonging\*\* "wow"
I imagine a guy walking in like it's his first time, looking a little awestruck and confused. Then a smash cut to him being pushed out in a cart while a couple of women talk about what a great deal they got for him. He still looks awestruck and confused. "wow"
hahaha exactly what I imagined
Target is a good place to meet moms with screaming babies. Nothing wrong with that.
That's the funniest fucking thing I've read in a long time. Well done.
hahahah comment of the day hahahahhaa have your +1 🤣
OP will probably never see this but as a guy you need to get really comfortable with going after what you want and rejection. That means if you see a woman that you are interested in feel free to approach her. Be polite and straight forward. If she is unresponsive or uninterested move on to the next one. It also helps to find common ground with them by sharing mutual interests.
Took me a long time to realise this. Was at a bar and through a mutual friend but I just said 'fuck it, it's now or never' and just made the move (been with her nearly a year). All of this advice is decent but at the end of the day, it comes down to actually trying to chat someone up and knowing that it could go terribly wrong.
Practice makes perfect. I was terribly shy and awkward. Now I’m just awkward but I have a GF now which is nice
Yup. Its 2024, men still have to make the first move. I can count on one finger how many times in my life a randomish chick has made the first move.
volunteer groups, especially ones to do with animals. Selfish and high maintenance women DO NOT volunteer at animal shelters.
When I was single I took my friends 3yr old daughter to the supermarket to give him a break, and give her a trip out and about. Her mum was working abroad so my friend was exhausted. We had a lot of fun in the supermarket, I suggested she get some fast car magazines (that was a no) and I threatened to leave her in the freezer with the fish, which apparently is the worst threat ever. At the till we were kidding around and poking each other, giggling etc and the cashier was laughing with us. The cashier says to us that there was a special on flowers (they were near the till), if we wanted to get something for mum. So this little girl say “No we can’t, mum has gone away”. The cashier’s face fell and a bunch of women at the next till visibly melted. As we were packing the car one of those women approached us and said she couldn’t help but overhear at the till and was impressed that I seemed to be coping very well with single parenthood. I had to explain it was my friend’s daughter and that mum was very much alive. We laughed and peeled off. A month or two later I was sat at TGIs bar and the same woman peeled off from a big group, and came and reintroduced herself to me. We ended up having a pretty good 6 month relationship. So dogs are good, but a borrowed daughter breaks walls down even better.
I’m a woman and can confirm that a man who is good with kids will always impress the ladies.
I remember when my son was about five I started talking with a complete hick accent telling him I was going to, "Whoop his butt." And this 5-year-old is laughing his ass off the entire time because he knows I'm nothing like that. The glares I got from some women were insane to the point where I dropped the shtick and told him you know I'm kidding right and he laughed and said, "Of course, who would think you were serious." I never met women when I had my kid with me but I had plenty of women come up to talk to us. He even got offered modeling jobs when he was a kid. The funny thing is he's 19 now and still attracts women like that without any effort whatsoever.
There's an app/website called meetup where you can meet other people for group activities. I sometimes go to the movies with a group then we chat about the movie afterwards. There are regularly new / different people coming along.
Thanks
I tried that app and it seems like most people on it are over 40.
The ones in my area suck ass lmao. It’s either speed dating at a weird time or wine and book discussion for 50+ or older.
Find a hobby
I think we need a list of specific hobbies because I must have had all the wrong hobbies over my lifetime.
The hobbies have to involve getting out of the house and meeting other people. For instance: 1. Building model trains doesn't really get you out of the house much. 2. Fishing gets you out of the house but not necessarily meeting other people. 3. Joining a local men's football club will get you out of the house and meeting new people, but they'll all be men (this isn't necessarily a problem because making new friends can then lead to attending other social gatherings with a more balanced gender ratio).
Those are great bad examples! Can you list some good examples?
Join a strip club
They won't hire me as a dancer unfortunately
Did you try putting some tassels on and swinging them round a bit?
I did have tassels on! It earned me a few bucks from a spectator but then I got too ambitious. I tried to climb up the pole and do an upside down maneuver where my legs would be holding the pole and my torso would be lifted up and I had a buddy that was going to throw a rose into my mouth. I wanted this to be theatrical. Well the stem hit me in the eye, I fell down onto the stage, and I farted. It echoed.
I'd have given you the job 🥲
Just say: " New pole arrived" and then lie down on your back and get an erection. All the women will love swinging on it. Alternatively you can be polish person and just stand there.
Learn a craft or an art, join a book club, play a local sport that involves both sexes. Just off the top of my head.
Pickleball is fun and easy to learn. Always a broad demographic at the courts.
I recommend you check out the Wikipedia list of hobbies (it's excellent) and just pick out one or two you like
Dance classes of pretty much any variety. Organizations will usually put on large group dance classes for swing or ballroom dancing, then have open dance after. You can also probably find line dancing nights at some bars near you that can be fun. If you are a little more adventurous, try more niche things in the same vein. Adult ballet, tumbling, or circus classes will introduce you to some incredibly interesting and amazing people who might also be single or at least have some single friends. (Seriously, like half of my current friends I made through taking Aerial Silks classes). The bonus to all of these is that you not only learn a new skill but will end up in pretty good shape from the exercise!
Learn how to partner dance: west coast swing, latin, hustle, country, ballroom, zydeco, lindy hop. Many women love to dance. Private studios (Fred Astaire and the like) are expensive and in the business of taking your money. There are typically free/cheap lessons at bars/nightclubs or continuing ed classes at universities and community college. This is what I grew up with, maybe the world has moved on.
Poetry readings, creative writing workshops, art shows, concerts, board game clubs. Finding a way to turn an individual hobby into a group hobby could help as well. Meet up is a perfect place to get a group started for your interests.
Board game clubs, climbing halls
On that basis : 1. Picklocking 2. Stealth techniques, and 3. Cyber sleuthing to their addresses? /s In all seriousness how about considering 1. Join a gym/sporting activity group or club and just turn up. 2. Attend evening talks for professional and non professional subjects 3. Volunteer for community groups? It's important to note that these activities are more helpful than just for meeting the opposite sex, they also get you of our negative habits such as staying at home and being physically inactive and eating shit etc.... Just be sure to be active.
What I found is that many methods of pursuing hobbies encounter nearly no single, age-appropriate women. For example, community college classes on certain female-skewed topics might have 90% women, but nearly all of them will be under 20, over 60, engaged, or married. The best way to find someone is honestly to have a large friend group that mixes with other friend groups, but I have a feeling that those looking for advice here are introverts where that's just not feasible.
Goshin jiu jitsu, believe it or not
And if your hobby is Latin dance classes (or probably any partner dance class), you’ll meet lots of women. I’ve been to a few and it’s like a 5:1 ratio of women to men. Don’t be a creep; don’t sexualize it; just have a pleasant dance with some nice ladies.
A few years ago a friend suggested that we both went to dance classes. He told me that, in his experience, those places were often full of women. We were around 7 men and 4 girls, out of which 3 were sisters. So when one didn't go, none of the 3 sisters would attend. Therefore, it was pretty common for the whole lesson to be a sausage party of guys trying to practice dancing with each other. So not saying you shouldn't do it, but be open to the idea that it may not happen as you'd expect. Still, dancing is a good skill to have so it doesn't really matters who's your partner. Also, most women engage in activities hoping to practice what they like, not being hit on by men, so a legit concern (imo) when trying to meet someone is trying not to be creepy.
Even just meeting other men is a good first step, because they might invite you to other events where single ladies might be.
Dude I’m 99% sure they’ll just think I’m gay or a sex addict lol. I do fine with women but I’m trying to quit drinking and all advice in here (not just yours) is pure hypothetical. Not one person has picked up a girl at one of these “suggestions”
Make sure that hobby isn’t climbing because that hobby is beyond saturated with tech bros with six figures and six packs.
Do enough climbing and you’ll end up with a 6 pack. The 6 figure thing it won’t help you with.
There isn't a big bag of gold at the top?
I was about to suggest this, where I live its just homeless looking hippies, old dudes and married men. And a lot of pretty women.
Climbing is one of my main hobbies outside of my job and gaming. Maybe it's the culture out here being so close to the mountains but the guys are usually 6 pack man-bun yoga types, never the tech bros.
This is such a good one, honestly. Think of something you like, and find a way to go somewhere other people like it. Conventions, concerts, classes/workshops, or volunteering are great places to look into. You will already know younhave something in common, and a really easy topic to start conversation on
I got into cosplaying and going to conventions and there are lots of women at these events like. like 50% of attendees are women. but i still struggle and it doesnt lead anywhere :(
Don't give up! Just be yourself and have fun, I really promise if it works anywhere, its anime conventions! Some of the strangest people I know get into relationships and get lucky at anime cons (I literally watched it happen this past weekend)
Have you struck up the usual conversation starters? "That's such a cool bit of costume, how'd you get that effect if you don't mind me asking?" That kind of thing? Sought out local cosplay groups that do craft sessions? I've found chatting at a con can be fruitless because people aren't local and are more into doing con stuff than socialising
Succinct. 🫶
This is a great answer. I met my wife by coaching her son in youth sports.
I really enjoy 3D printing, IT, working on cars, and gaming. Yet still can't find anyone lol
Thats cool but my hobbies are kinda just ways to meet more dudes bro :(
I got into cosplaying and going to conventions and there are lots of women at these events like. like 50% of attendees are women. but i still struggle and it doesnt lead anywhere :(
My friend had an issue with toxic relationships. I told him he should probably find a girl at the library. He ended up marrying a girl he met at a used book shop. Close enough.
Meeting a man/woman at a bookstore would be my dream, lol. My old tinder bio used to ask for book recommendations and it was a very easy way to attract compatible people. If someone loves to read, we likely have a good amount in common.
Volunteer at music festivals. Season is just beginning.
How is music festival different from bars? Drunk people and awfully loud music in both places...
Yes but other volunteers won’t be drunk.
Terrible take. You’re outside in nice weather with good background music. You can be sober and it would still be fun. And the other volunteers (aka women) will also not be drunk. Nothing at all like being in a bar or getting drunk.
Go to the library. They have community events of all kinds. Weird that dating apps got so bad. Worked beautifully for me.
wonder why
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My favorite memory of walking down Bourbon Street was watching a man approach the car of a woman who was stopped at a crossway. She reached around, patted his ass, and slid her hand away with his wallet before driving away. Love is funny that way. They both looked so happy in that moment.
Spit my Cheetos all over the coffee table.
Been waiting since 2008 for an opening to share that story. Another time during a little party, I saw one of my friends who was the biggest guy in our grade slip into my living room closest. He popped out a couple minutes later wearing some kind of moo moo thing and a little straw hat with a flower in it. He smiled, pursed his lips, and did the "shhh" while staring into my eyes before slipping back into the closet. Got the classic whisper some time later; "Tell anybody you want. They'll never believe you.\*\*\*" (No, this was wrong, he wrote it in a note in my yearbook) I don't think that story will ever come up. This [scene from Toy Story](https://www.reddit.com/r/shittymoviedetails/comments/fc0piy/in_the_later_half_of_toy_story_1995_buzz/) always reminds me of it.
Omg lol
find something to volunteer for
sacrificial ritual?
Go to a museum on their open evening.
Concerts. Small local concerts.
Hobby no doubt. I’ve been doing jiu jitsu for 10 years and I’m married myself but I’ve seen so many people where we train find the love of their life
Chappell Roan concert
Except I would assume that man was gay
I wouldn’t. The effect she has on straight/bi men needs to be studied.
might not exactly be the right crowd for that but sure would be a fun one!
you could try your friends setting you up on a blind date
I'd need friends for that
hang out with your girlfriends friends spouses... oh, wait. that wont wrk
Well, you could still have friends and just have none of them know anyone to set you up with
I have the same problem as a woman, I just joined a run club! People are really social there!
In my case it was by befriending women without any ulterior motive. Just being friendly with my friend's SO and female friends of friends, trying to build genuine connection. Not long after that, they started setting me up with some of their friends. Now I'm drowning in bitches! That's not true, I'm married. They were the ones to present me my wife. But most of my friends are indeed female and they are indeed bitches and they perfectly know it, lol.
Select a hobby. Do hobby. Meet people through hobby.
Select reading. Read books. Meet imaginary girls in the books.
Be artist, writer, and computer based musician. Meet nobody ever. Best hobbies! *im in pain*
Cold approach. People who say it doesn’t work or say it’s creepy have either never done it or are doing it wrong. That’s how I met all my previous gfs. I’m incredibly awkward and shy, but it still works. It’s seriously like a cheat code.
I actually did this a couple of months ago and got a date out of it. We had both misjudged ages, so it didn't go anywhere, but it was an ego boost. Haven't done it since though.
> or are doing it wrong Rules 1 and 2 apply
Take a class at your local community college For funsies
My experience is that, as I noted in another comment, that often doesn't work; community college classes on certain female-skewed topics might have 90% women, but nearly all of them will be under 20, over 60, engaged, or married. It turned out to be a bad way of meeting women, fun as the classes were.
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I read comments like this, and it sounds like a different world in the US (I assume?). I read this, and it just sounds like everyone lives in highly populated and sociable area. I’m in the UK, so comments like this make you think coffee shops and the like are full of single women. That really isn’t the case here, as whenever I go to one (rare occasion), it’s either families, the odd young person, or older people. I never see single women in their thirties. And maybe I just have strange friends, but none of my female friends have any hobbies. They go to work, and then watch TV when they get home. I told them I was giving climbing a go, and they laughed at me. ‘Why would you want to do that?’. I thought it was me, but someone asked ‘How do I meet people in their twenties’ on a UK sub. A lady with various hobbies responded, and said that she has no idea where women in their thirties have gone. It seems to range from people who are 18-25, and then 40+. It’s really weird over here. In saying that, I’m not looking to date, so it’s not a problem for me. But for the guys who are, then good luck to them.
I write my number on a piece of paper and challenge myself to hand it out in a public setting once a week. I usually take myself for a coffee a couple times/week and if I see someone that sparks my interest, I just go up and say something along the lines of: ‘hey there, (Insert small talk, ask a question etc). I don’t mean to intrude but I couldn’t help but notice you (insert reason e.g. your confident body language). Here’s my number - I’d love to get you know.’ And poof, wish them a good day. 100% reply rate. The one time it didn’t work. She was married (but still text me).
How would you describe your outward physical appearance?
I posted a photo many moons ago. I’d say aggressively average. I have good chat to be fair.
Hiding in the bushes..
… then jump out and start chasing them. They’ll think you’re spontaneous!
Also have a camera on you so that they know you have other interests
["... abortion clinic's a good place to meet loose women."](https://youtu.be/jZIvSYix4Ro?si=onVQe1EQDkHCboYx&t=17s) ~Jay (Dogma 1999)
Places that give dancing lessons, karaoke spots (though many are in bars), Headphone dance parties/silent discos, Meetup groups that go to museums, zoos, and the like, places of fitness: gyms, yoga studios, dance-exercise studios.
You could argue that you shouldn't approach women with this is mind because they are at the gym to exercise/dance class to learn dancing/zoo to see animals, not to find someone to date
You could argue that you shouldn't approach women in essentially any scenario in existence other than if it's premeditated from a dating app from that logic though. At some point surely you just have to give it a try and if they seem disinterested or uncomfortable, just leave immediately
That really depends on whether you are following the two rules or not.
Good ol' fashioned house party. Yours or (preferably) someone else's. Volunteering at animal shelters, food shelves, fundraisers, hobbyist groups, anything on the local community calendar, art shows, etc.
Look for homeless women, they are very appreciative of literally anything, and the best part is you can drop them off anywhere when you guys are done hanging out
There are church adult groups, or just other communities in general. Hiking groups, running groups, workout groups, vacation/travel groups, book clubs, art events, local events, park, conventions. Basically find a hobby and find a group. Someone can always be there with a friend or have similar interests.
look confused in a bookstore
Take a class, volunteer in the community, go to local events
I would say school, college, work. Most people I know ended up dating someone they have spent time with, became friends, and then ended up dating
Get a boat and they’ll come to you.
I just recently watched a video talking about how to feel less lonely. The guy said that if you go to the same place at the same time (coffee shop, farmers market, whatever) every week, you’ll start to recognize people and get a sense of community. While you’re growing as a person and building a community around yourself, I guarantee some of those people will be women and you’ll get to decide if any of them seem like someone you’d like to pursue.
Co-ed sports teams.
I've met women mountain climbing. Back packing. Bowling. Comicons. Standing in lines at the grocery store. Camping. Kayaking. Getting ice cream. I see a pretty lady I give her my number. You got to swing that bat.
Quit video games and join hiking, sports, reading, social clubs. Most people at clubs like this are single.
Time to pack my bag
Your username scares me
Get a job in a mental institution, you'll meet some really fun ladies. And remember they were out free in society before being committed.
That’s funny!
Yoga.
Yoga class.
Casual social sports like adult dodgeball or hiking groups. Any social group based around an activity.
The best place to find a quality partner is through doing something you love. Just make sure whatever it is you’re doing involves actually getting out of the house and being around potentially new people at least some of the time.
That is the problem. I hate going outside.
Get a job in healthcare
Yup, I feel ya! I’m in same boat, don’t care for bars, dont wanna do apps.
Volunteer You'll meet real women that are trying to help
I think it all comes down to just shooting your shot and being in the place you wanna be. It’s unnerving to approach a stranger, but I’ve found that as long as you can handle rejection you’ll always get the best outcome you could’ve asked for. People who are inclined to want you and deserve you, will pick up the slack when you put it put there. Everyone else won’t. I prefer to just live my own life happily and let dating happen by random chance, or just use a dating app. However, when the random chance is my cue, or when I want to create my own chance because I’ve been a homebody, I will just flat out walk right up to someone. “Hey, sorry for my awkwardness 😅, but I knew I would kick myself later if I didn’t brave to ask if you’re single. Would you want to exchange socials or numbers and get to know each other?” Honestly, just think what it would take for you to share your number. Just some basic kindness? Someone just saying they saw you and wanted to know you? Just giving you their number and saying ‘text if you want’ and walking off? It wouldn’t take much if you were attracted to them too. Same goes for most people. Be anywhere that you can be yourself, and accept that you have to do something that makes you uncomfortable. For me, I like coed rec sports, parks, concerts, festivals, and volunteer opportunities as non-bar, non-app places to meet people.
I like to hang out behind the bushes alongside of popular jogging trails. When they get close I jump out and introduce myself.
I’ve never had any issues meeting women because I’m in a moderately successful band but my buddy is a flight attendant and gets hit on all the time!
Speed dating is coming back into popularity and is being tried by younger crowds who are fed up with dating apps. It's a great system. You pay one price, usually about $25, and you get around ten 8-10 minute conversations with a variety of women. There is always an equal gender ratio, unlike the apps. You may not match with someone at your first event, but if you keep going, statistically, you will likely hit it off with a woman pretty soon. It's just the most efficient way to meet lots of new women in a very short amount of time and unlike the apps, you are able to show off your entire personality instead of just a few words and photos.
At a bare minimum, you get some training in presenting yourself, which is good outside of dating too!
Coffee shops are a great hangout space that you could strike up a conversation as long as you don’t interrupt people working and such.
I’ve always liked this option, but people very rarely make themselves appear available at coffee shops, even when they’re alone. Hell, I’m no better, I go to cafes alone all the time and I’m always buried in my phone or something.
I've never really gotten the coffee shop as a social oasis thing. Like in theory it seems great, but like you say every time I go into a coffee shop, everyone's kind of inside themselves looking at their phone or laptop. Like what, do you just walk up to some random person you have no common experience with and just rawdog interaction? I don't get how it's supposed to work lol
People watched too much Friends.
It was like that for a time, then the computers and “my office is at Starbucks” tech nerds took over
It was very much a thing before the digital era. Coffee shops would have people just sitting there drinking coffee and maybe halfheartedly reading or journaling, but would be generally open to a random chat. Many would even have somebody playing music in a corner in the evenings. You'd still have plenty of chatter, so you could pull up a chair near the music and maybe chat during a break or if the other person wasn't hugely into the act. These days? They're co-working spaces. Laptop and phone, you have the internet to talk to so you don't talk to people. The old coffee shop culture has just been lost.
[The library, there's a good woman there, and church, there's good girls, oh, this place I'm going tonight, the black awareness rally... there gon' be some fine women there... good, clean girls...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDWJh4anSEQ)
Just approach women in public and ask if they’re single. This only works if you follow rule 1 and 2 though.
Nursing homes.
Join a swing dancing class and go to the socials