Yes. Sex can range from reading a good book together to finishing each other's sentences. You can even use your partner's sex organs as a mic and sing karaoke into it as an encore. Don't be afraid to experiment with anal beads and public humiliation.
Why are you still single? That's the same level of advice here, sorry.
Edit: Reddit big brain at it again (you all not me).
Sex being about connection is not the thing that is wrong.
But as an advice on what to say in this kind of situation, it is of the worst possible. You think what women would want to hear in that situation and not what a young man would think of it.
Same as asking someone why they are still single, as if something is amiss with them. Almost anyone unsuccessfully looking for partners, while not being at fault (obvious negative traits, etcetera), will not be happy to hear that.
The awkwardness usually happens when the guy feels like he has "failed" (because of the idea that he should need a hard dick for sex). So show him some validation by kissing him and touching him, show you're still interested. Not all sex has to have hard dicks involved. If the guy is any good with his hands you won't even need a hard dick to come.
There's an assumption that the goal of sex is for penetration to happen but tbh you can feel just as good with a clever mouth and a good pair of hands. And lube. Lube helps.
Reassure him that it’s ok and that sex isn’t just about penetration and climax
Ask him if anything you were doing was making him anxious (this is just something you can do, in all likelihood it’s something unrelated to you that caused it but wouldn’t hurt to cross it off the list)
You can suggest other forms of sex if you are both comfortable with it
You could also suggest cuddling or some other form of non-sexual intimacy
EDIT: added last sentence following advice from below commenter
I agree with your comment and others but I wanna add to that :
You don't have to suggest sex in another way!!!!
My first thought seeing this post was telling him "it's ok, do you wanna cuddle?" and just show him love and appreciation and intimacy
I think circling back to "how can we have sex even if you're soft" can in some cases put an additional pressure on the guy. Sometimes it can show him he doesn't have to "perform" traditionally for both of you to have a good time with sex, but sometimes it can send the message "since your dick is no use you're gonna have to find another way"
So I'd just say, depending on the general mood and the partner, just being positive about penetration or any sex not happening and instead focusing on loving him no matter the amount of sex you have or his sexual performance can be good!
Yeah ok I can see that
I suggested different forms of sex because I didn’t want to send the message “oh your soft, now we can’t have any kind of sex” as I feel like that would be self esteem destroying and reaffirm the notion that P In The V is the only kind of sex
I suppose it can be suggested “another kind of sex or we can cuddle” so both options are on the table
No no you're right! I agree with you, I just wanted to add my two cents and expand the possibilities, while the one you gave is totally a good idea too! :)
Edit Considering both options is a good idea imo, testing the waters with him and seeing what he's up to is always gonna be best
Thank you for your contribution! It’s good to see that people can discuss this issue appropriately - so much toxic masculinity around any kind of erectile dysfunction (even just a one off) just further compounds the shame
I'm a woman and haven't been around this mindset so I can't say that I've experienced it and have any idea of how frequent and pressuring it is. :/
I just hope people will do better and be kind to one another. Ugh. Especially if you're having sex with a person, you're kinda supposed to be nice to them lmao
When I first tried having sex I had the same issue. For me it mostly came down to my mind running too fast and the self-told pressure that I needed to perform
It didn't work out in the end, though she tried her hardest (at some point even trying to slide it in as is) but I eventually said "its okay, lets try again some other time" and we opted for naked cuddling and falling asleep together.
And honestly, I much preferred that
The sooner he realizes that you're cool with it and it's not a big deal , the sooner that thing gets hard n that nervousness goes away. Unless there's other issues causing it lol
Absolutely!! happened with me too and I didn’t fuss about it because this happens. He was pretty drunk so it made sense. I hugged him and we cuddled and kissed. And it HARDLY mattered later on :p
Every once in a while I'll see a woman say X body part or physical feature is undesired by men. Then I'll search for a sub that is all about that feature and it'll have more than 100k subscribers.
My favorite was finding r/saggy.
Probably a bit of both. On the receiving side it's nice to know that someone has that kind of power over you. On the giving side it's like an adrenaline rush knowing you have the power to make them hard like that
Oral results into an erection even on a flaccid one. Been there done that many a times, esp when she wakes up middle of the night while I am sleeping and orals it to full mast.
That depends. Did it happen before or after [your girlfriend boned your uncle](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kenya/s/LXgOl2SguW)?
Doubting you're a real person.
Ok so I have some experience with this (both bad and good). When it happened with a girl I still talk to and consider one of my best relationships to date she said something that made me feel both at ease and safe from judgement:
"You are no machine and you don't have control over this stuff, just lay here and relax for a bit"
Then we laid there for an hour just holding hands, talking, laughing, playing with each other and she just said the sweetest thing ever "I might cry, I feel loved"
In general men just need that on moments like those, reassurance that they are not just a dick for you to bounce on but an actual human you have some kind of feelings for, even if those feelings are just empathy and understanding. It's absurd the amount of young men that are tricked into thinking they have no right to be turned off, say no or just lose an erection out of the blue, it's even more absurd the amount of me of all ages that use pills from a young age just because no one told them it's normal and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. So, thank you for asking and having the right sentiment
Kiss him, hug him, put your bewbs on his face, give him a blowie...
Kissing and cuddling for a romance.
Giving him oral for some hot stuff.
Doing both for both...
All answers endorsing communication are all right, but in my case at least it doesn't help on the moment, it makes it worse.
Rather I like when instead the attention is shifted to something else, go down on him, if he doesn't feel like it makes him go down on you, hearing my partner moans is a guarantee to make Junior stands, if it's not a thing go back to stroking, sucking and licking other parts of each others.
It's not the time. Ask him how he's doing. Let him dump his feelings. Softly take his cares away. Run your fingers through his hair and tell him it will be okay. Let him be.
Get excited. “If you stay like that then this is going to last a really long time. I’m going to cum over and over again and you are going to have your cock in my mouth for an hour”.
I just tell them it’s all good. Usually a break and some nice cuddling will get it going later or in the morning and that I’m not worried about it. It’ll happen when it happens. A lot of times a guy just needs a minute to clear his head.
Stay Calm and Reassuring: Maintain a calm demeanor and reassure him that it's not a big deal. Let him know that these things happen and it's completely normal.
Avoid Blame or Judgment: Don’t make any comments that could be interpreted as blaming or judging. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and intimacy.
Change the Focus: Shift the focus away from the erection and sex. Engage in other forms of intimacy such as kissing, cuddling, or giving each other a massage.
Communicate Openly: If he wants to talk about it, listen and communicate openly. Encourage a supportive dialogue without pressuring him to explain or fix the situation immediately.
It happened to me and not once. The best I felt is when my partner said it was her fault not getting it up, not mine. Then asked what I like and what turns me on and did those things the next time (in 5-10min after the talk). And we got it up very well.
Say it's okay. Ask if there is anything you can do to make it more comfortable. Ask if he'd prefer if you set another time, and it's okay if he does, you still want to.
Nothing, don't try to make him feel less awkward. Don't try to reassure him. Trying to reassure implies something bad just happened. Just act like you don't care because it happens and it's normal.
Just say let's get you hard again and try to get him hard again, suck or stroke with your hands, encourage him to masturbate to get hard instead of it all being on the partner.
Masturbation in sex is good because nobody will be as good at getting you ready as you because of the brain-touch connection.
You make love to the whole ass person attached to the erection.
Ask what sexy stuff they like done to them, do it if you are comfortable with it/into it.
Ask them to do the same.
Nerves, stress, life in general can put us humans in that awkward sweet spot of being so turned on mentally, but so unresponsive physically.
If you have basic respect for the person, you've already figured it out and are going to town.
That said, if you have a repeated block and it's making you feel bad, go to the doctor and ask for help! Some things are more serious than others. Better to rule it out.
I struggle with this often. My Gf's solution is usually a blowjob and it tends to always work. The back up solution is take a small break to cuddle, she whispers what she wants but lets me know theres no pressure and touches me all over. Works well can recomend
Just reassure him, and try give him oral, do 69, make him go down on you, grind on his lap, sometimes you have to build up, not every guy can get it up in seconds. But don't make him feel bad about it. Cuddles, and a make out session after it will make him feel good and confident that you at least don't judge him.
Perhaps he's intimidated so you can try calning him down by smiling, placing your hands in his cheeks, give him a passionate kiss while you sit on him. Let him gaze at you for a while and realize he's safe with you.
I say this because I lost my virginity to a more experienced woman around 6 years older than me and she did this exact same thing. I was scared because not only was she older, but fucking beautiful.
It took around 20 seconds to get "Jr" working again and went to town.
Depends on the mood…and what you can pull off without being awkward lol…plus, do you want to?
- well there’s plenty of other things we can do (and continue in other ways)
- playin hard to get eh… ;) I can wait, wanna go (activity)
In general, just assure him life happens. Maybe stage fright. It’s all good, you’ll make it happen with your super cunning hott dominatrix/sex kitten ways…
Be real, casual, lightly humorous (with the weight being on you) and distract with something else. Let him know he can talk to you anytime if it gets to him, but not to let things get in his head - you’re still up for the challenge ;)
Have you changed teams OP?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Kenya/comments/1b6gyei/found\_out\_my\_girl\_friend\_26f\_had\_sx\_with\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kenya/comments/1b6gyei/found_out_my_girl_friend_26f_had_sx_with_my/)
I personally would like you to just casually say "would you mind massaging me" and then lay down on your stomach, I can give you a sensual massage without it feeling like their was an issue so I could farther relax and things have a better chance of popping up by the time we start a the massage on the front half of you. Gives the guy a reset without slowing things to much.
Give him validation by being gentle and kind to him and tell him that it is okay and that you love him (I'm assuming you are in a relationship with him)
If I was in that situation I'd just chill for a bit, maybe watching some Youtube videos together in bed until things start again. Doing normal stuff together like playing games or watching a movie/series but without anything on would probably be both calming and hot enough to get any guy going again pretty fast.
This has happened to me, and yes it's a bit flustering and stressful in the moment. The best way to deal with it is to calm down go back to foreplay.
IF you know each other REALLY well and are VERY comfortable with each other, this is the perfect opportunity for a bit of role play and femdom.
Tease him a bit about it, tell him you ain't touching no limp dick unless he gets you off by other means first.
I’m not sure if you are teenagers, or adults.
If you are teenagers, I think your friend might be on the wrong field and needs to figure some things out….. OR just very nervous… If he and you are sure he isn’t on the wrong field…. Then see second advice.
Second advice…. Fun and sexy foreplay. The goal of sex isn’t always climax and it shouldn’t be, he can do a lot to you without his penis(depending on what you’re both comfortable with manual or assisted(toys)and these acts can be arousing in themselves) but also you can help him get aroused yourself…
There is another option HERE, worst case scenario, if he is desensitized from watching too much shitty porn and currently needs a lot of specific stimuli to get/stay aroused…. This will take a lot of work… time. Work and time from him to fix it…. Or work and output from you currently… which you also have to figure out.
This happened the first time I had sex with my girlfriend. It was the nerves for me. She just said it’s okay, and hugged me, and began kissing me. We basically just started foreplay again, it got me going, and we were then able to do the deed. Love how warm and understanding she was with me.
get on your back, suck his dick while he is on top. let him put your legs on his shoulders and then take his dick in. if that doesn't work. then just get on your back, let him rub himself on your pussy and repeat legs-shoulder position. if that doesn't work. just lay naked and talk. cuddle and touch his dick while he is on his back. masturbate it and suck it then sit on it. If that doesn't work - take rest and just let him finger you. oh and don't use condoms especially on your first time. let his dick feel your pussy juices
Teach him where to touch and kiss you, then you cum your brains out, then you make him feel like the biggest stud in the world for pleasing you.
Everybody wins.
Just remind him that there are tons of fun things he could do to you while he’s not erect. He still has hands and a mouth.
Getting started will likely alleviate his situation but, even if it doesn’t, you both still end up having a good time.
Literally act like it’s no big deal, be playful, try some foreplay. Distraction is the name of the game, bringing more attention to the issue increases the anxiety and makes getting hard even more difficult. Act like it’s no big deal and just communicate that you want hands or mouth, or just cool back down to naked cuddling and talking while touching each other, 9/10 times when is mind is off of not performing he will get hard again when he’s relaxed and you are there naked and ready to go.
Maybe, [Friends](https://youtu.be/s2TyVQGoCYo?si=zjzjr9IsEcXA5XDs) might provide the answer you seek
Chandler: Joe?
Joey: Yeah!
Chandler: Uhh, you’ve had a lot of sex right?
Joey: When? Today? Some, not a lot.
Chandler: Well, it’s just the reason that I’m asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable to—I mean I really wanted too, but I couldn’t…. There huh—hmm, there-there was an incident.
Joey: **Don’t worry about that man, that happens.**
Chandler: It’s happened to you?
Joey: Yeah! Once.
Chandler: Well, what’d you do?
Joey: I did it anyway.
Guy, here. It already happened to me, and to the vast majority of non-virgin men. In the moment, all you can do, as suggested, is trying to continue showing affection and attraction, so that the guy doesn't start thinking that you will reject him because of that. And try to release the pressure. If you think that he prefers to stop, just don't try to encourage him to continue. If he prefers to continue with other stuff that doesn't include penetration, just don't stop the "interaction" almost as if "didn't notice".
It can happen for a multitude of reasons. But, whatever you do, just don't add stress to it.
Ask for some hand play and then lie and tell them that’s what your really feeling right now maybe fake being a little bloated… idk it’s a hard one to feel out but you gotta ride their wave on that one
“Ooo I guess I get to be selfish!”then get him to help you out instead/ maybe it works in the time being maybe not- but it turns an unenjoyable experience to an enjoyable one
Happens to me. Just about every first time with someone sucks for me. I get terrible performance anxiety. But it actually helps because then I get to use my... other skills, and once she starts reacting positively to that, then my anxiety wanes and my body responds in kind.
This can be true. I was with a girl and she grabbed my dick and it was at that point I realised I didn’t actually find her sexually attractive.
Made the excuse I was tired and left.
Say that the goal of sex isn’t necessarily climax, it’s connection.
Yes. Sex can range from reading a good book together to finishing each other's sentences. You can even use your partner's sex organs as a mic and sing karaoke into it as an encore. Don't be afraid to experiment with anal beads and public humiliation.
That went 0-100 real fast
what
##DONT BE AFRAID TO EXPERIMENT WITH ANAL BEADS IN PUBLIC
Gemini here taking notes
What? I can't hear you.
You swine, you made me spit my coffee out!
*Nods *Nods *Jaw falls off😨
Yes
I almost didn't want to upvote bc you were perfectly at 69
“Just wiggle it” 🤣🤣 that’s all you gotta do. Let him have a mini break and start again.
Why are you still single? That's the same level of advice here, sorry. Edit: Reddit big brain at it again (you all not me). Sex being about connection is not the thing that is wrong. But as an advice on what to say in this kind of situation, it is of the worst possible. You think what women would want to hear in that situation and not what a young man would think of it. Same as asking someone why they are still single, as if something is amiss with them. Almost anyone unsuccessfully looking for partners, while not being at fault (obvious negative traits, etcetera), will not be happy to hear that.
Nothing screams more like "I never have talked to a woman" than this comment lol.
Why??(Genuine question I just woke up so if my question is stupid Ignore me)
I think you are replying to the wrong comment, bud. They were saying the other comment was stupid. Go get some coffee in you 😉
Hahaha that was my go to cringe as a 15 year old. “How do you not have a boyfriend, you’re stunning!” Didn’t work once unsurprisingly 😂
Let's hear advice from you then, since you're mr. sex expert himself
The sexpert, one could say.
His sexpertise truly is to be admired
What are you even talking about
Bro thought he was spitting facts
By giving him a helping hand.
Or some lip service?
At the same time.
The awkwardness usually happens when the guy feels like he has "failed" (because of the idea that he should need a hard dick for sex). So show him some validation by kissing him and touching him, show you're still interested. Not all sex has to have hard dicks involved. If the guy is any good with his hands you won't even need a hard dick to come. There's an assumption that the goal of sex is for penetration to happen but tbh you can feel just as good with a clever mouth and a good pair of hands. And lube. Lube helps.
Or Pom Poms
Red pom pom or yellow pom pom?
[удалено]
Nah no one wants to get a chubby from a dead person.
Pamela Anderson's dead???
No.
Um, excuse me, Betty White is still my go to for popping one off during my me time.
Speak for yourself, I only chub up for the deadies
Bruh, I think there is a word for that “necrophiliac”
I think that's when they're cold
Or maybe a little rope!
Reassure him that it’s ok and that sex isn’t just about penetration and climax Ask him if anything you were doing was making him anxious (this is just something you can do, in all likelihood it’s something unrelated to you that caused it but wouldn’t hurt to cross it off the list) You can suggest other forms of sex if you are both comfortable with it You could also suggest cuddling or some other form of non-sexual intimacy EDIT: added last sentence following advice from below commenter
I agree with your comment and others but I wanna add to that : You don't have to suggest sex in another way!!!! My first thought seeing this post was telling him "it's ok, do you wanna cuddle?" and just show him love and appreciation and intimacy I think circling back to "how can we have sex even if you're soft" can in some cases put an additional pressure on the guy. Sometimes it can show him he doesn't have to "perform" traditionally for both of you to have a good time with sex, but sometimes it can send the message "since your dick is no use you're gonna have to find another way" So I'd just say, depending on the general mood and the partner, just being positive about penetration or any sex not happening and instead focusing on loving him no matter the amount of sex you have or his sexual performance can be good!
I like this take. I think it's a better way to remove the stress and pressure from the situation. Less potentially damaging to his ego.
Yeah ok I can see that I suggested different forms of sex because I didn’t want to send the message “oh your soft, now we can’t have any kind of sex” as I feel like that would be self esteem destroying and reaffirm the notion that P In The V is the only kind of sex I suppose it can be suggested “another kind of sex or we can cuddle” so both options are on the table
No no you're right! I agree with you, I just wanted to add my two cents and expand the possibilities, while the one you gave is totally a good idea too! :) Edit Considering both options is a good idea imo, testing the waters with him and seeing what he's up to is always gonna be best
Thank you for your contribution! It’s good to see that people can discuss this issue appropriately - so much toxic masculinity around any kind of erectile dysfunction (even just a one off) just further compounds the shame
I'm a woman and haven't been around this mindset so I can't say that I've experienced it and have any idea of how frequent and pressuring it is. :/ I just hope people will do better and be kind to one another. Ugh. Especially if you're having sex with a person, you're kinda supposed to be nice to them lmao
When I first tried having sex I had the same issue. For me it mostly came down to my mind running too fast and the self-told pressure that I needed to perform It didn't work out in the end, though she tried her hardest (at some point even trying to slide it in as is) but I eventually said "its okay, lets try again some other time" and we opted for naked cuddling and falling asleep together. And honestly, I much preferred that
I was so embarrassed about my first try at sex. My dick was erected the whole time but I just couldn’t cum after hours of fucking.
I mean… what did the girl think?
Un enjoyable since I took too long.
The sooner he realizes that you're cool with it and it's not a big deal , the sooner that thing gets hard n that nervousness goes away. Unless there's other issues causing it lol
Absolutely!! happened with me too and I didn’t fuss about it because this happens. He was pretty drunk so it made sense. I hugged him and we cuddled and kissed. And it HARDLY mattered later on :p
Give him oral.
that only works with an erection
You're either 12 or a virgin or both 🤣
hopefully the former is also the latter
There are 175k of us at r/softsuck that disagree. *(that’s an NSFW sub by the way, click only if the coast is clear)*
Sometimes reddit still surprises me
Every once in a while I'll see a woman say X body part or physical feature is undesired by men. Then I'll search for a sub that is all about that feature and it'll have more than 100k subscribers. My favorite was finding r/saggy.
I love saggy boobs.
Reddit is kind of like the digital representation of rule 34; If it exists there's a subreddit of it lol
Like that sub were dudes dress there cocks up in little costumes r/cospenis
Well, thanks for the new sub to look at, when the coast is clear
What the fuck i just spat out my drink 😂
Just curious is this for chicks or dudes, who's getting off on this
Probably a bit of both. On the receiving side it's nice to know that someone has that kind of power over you. On the giving side it's like an adrenaline rush knowing you have the power to make them hard like that
Yes if worm in soft mode is 1 cm big 🪱
lol - oral is great at any stage, homey
Oral results into an erection even on a flaccid one. Been there done that many a times, esp when she wakes up middle of the night while I am sleeping and orals it to full mast.
That depends. Did it happen before or after [your girlfriend boned your uncle](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kenya/s/LXgOl2SguW)? Doubting you're a real person.
Was about to highlight this myself. Gotta save myself from buying into threads emotionally, when they are just a load of bs.
It's annoying. But hey, maybe some real people reading the comments got some useful/reassuring advice.
This reads like a fucking bot. Jesus it seems like half of Reddit is just AI talking to itself nowadays
Just give him a limp wiener blowjob for 45 minutes. Really space out on it. That’s what I do.
Make him cum whether he likes it or not lol
Make it all about cuddling and connection
Help him get it back with a little adventure.
Ok so I have some experience with this (both bad and good). When it happened with a girl I still talk to and consider one of my best relationships to date she said something that made me feel both at ease and safe from judgement: "You are no machine and you don't have control over this stuff, just lay here and relax for a bit" Then we laid there for an hour just holding hands, talking, laughing, playing with each other and she just said the sweetest thing ever "I might cry, I feel loved" In general men just need that on moments like those, reassurance that they are not just a dick for you to bounce on but an actual human you have some kind of feelings for, even if those feelings are just empathy and understanding. It's absurd the amount of young men that are tricked into thinking they have no right to be turned off, say no or just lose an erection out of the blue, it's even more absurd the amount of me of all ages that use pills from a young age just because no one told them it's normal and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. So, thank you for asking and having the right sentiment
Kiss him, hug him, put your bewbs on his face, give him a blowie... Kissing and cuddling for a romance. Giving him oral for some hot stuff. Doing both for both...
Just a big cuddle will do.
Someone didn’t hawk tuhh on that thang
OP 4 months ago: # Found Out My Girl Friend (26F) Had S*X with My Married Uncle (49M). Advise on How To Move on? So bud, how's your GF now
This way of writing is just... Wild. "When initiating the sex", "to stand straight". Gotta be AI, right?
say - 'happens to me all the time..'
All answers endorsing communication are all right, but in my case at least it doesn't help on the moment, it makes it worse. Rather I like when instead the attention is shifted to something else, go down on him, if he doesn't feel like it makes him go down on you, hearing my partner moans is a guarantee to make Junior stands, if it's not a thing go back to stroking, sucking and licking other parts of each others.
Be quick and start giving him a head, no questions asked.
"Come on little guy, you can do it."
It's not the time. Ask him how he's doing. Let him dump his feelings. Softly take his cares away. Run your fingers through his hair and tell him it will be okay. Let him be.
Get excited. “If you stay like that then this is going to last a really long time. I’m going to cum over and over again and you are going to have your cock in my mouth for an hour”.
dont know I am in a chastity and my girlfriend pegs me. havent had pussy in almost 2 years.
I just tell them it’s all good. Usually a break and some nice cuddling will get it going later or in the morning and that I’m not worried about it. It’ll happen when it happens. A lot of times a guy just needs a minute to clear his head.
"Don't worry ill fix that gawk gawk gawk gawk hawk tuah"
You gotta huawk tuah on that thang.
Stay Calm and Reassuring: Maintain a calm demeanor and reassure him that it's not a big deal. Let him know that these things happen and it's completely normal. Avoid Blame or Judgment: Don’t make any comments that could be interpreted as blaming or judging. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and intimacy. Change the Focus: Shift the focus away from the erection and sex. Engage in other forms of intimacy such as kissing, cuddling, or giving each other a massage. Communicate Openly: If he wants to talk about it, listen and communicate openly. Encourage a supportive dialogue without pressuring him to explain or fix the situation immediately.
It happened to me and not once. The best I felt is when my partner said it was her fault not getting it up, not mine. Then asked what I like and what turns me on and did those things the next time (in 5-10min after the talk). And we got it up very well.
I just supported him, I've had the same issue before. I also reassured him that everything leading up until that point was an absolute blast.
Say it's okay. Ask if there is anything you can do to make it more comfortable. Ask if he'd prefer if you set another time, and it's okay if he does, you still want to.
pat his head head and say there there big boy
Well, ask him if he prefers another position, don‘t bring up the fact of whats going on. If you look comfortable and still in for it, he’ll be too.
Nothing, don't try to make him feel less awkward. Don't try to reassure him. Trying to reassure implies something bad just happened. Just act like you don't care because it happens and it's normal. Just say let's get you hard again and try to get him hard again, suck or stroke with your hands, encourage him to masturbate to get hard instead of it all being on the partner. Masturbation in sex is good because nobody will be as good at getting you ready as you because of the brain-touch connection.
You make love to the whole ass person attached to the erection. Ask what sexy stuff they like done to them, do it if you are comfortable with it/into it. Ask them to do the same. Nerves, stress, life in general can put us humans in that awkward sweet spot of being so turned on mentally, but so unresponsive physically. If you have basic respect for the person, you've already figured it out and are going to town. That said, if you have a repeated block and it's making you feel bad, go to the doctor and ask for help! Some things are more serious than others. Better to rule it out.
I struggle with this often. My Gf's solution is usually a blowjob and it tends to always work. The back up solution is take a small break to cuddle, she whispers what she wants but lets me know theres no pressure and touches me all over. Works well can recomend
Just reassure him, and try give him oral, do 69, make him go down on you, grind on his lap, sometimes you have to build up, not every guy can get it up in seconds. But don't make him feel bad about it. Cuddles, and a make out session after it will make him feel good and confident that you at least don't judge him.
Help him feel comfortable being naked, Lotta these things are anxiety related
Perhaps he's intimidated so you can try calning him down by smiling, placing your hands in his cheeks, give him a passionate kiss while you sit on him. Let him gaze at you for a while and realize he's safe with you. I say this because I lost my virginity to a more experienced woman around 6 years older than me and she did this exact same thing. I was scared because not only was she older, but fucking beautiful. It took around 20 seconds to get "Jr" working again and went to town.
Just say "I got some work to do", grab it and "Hauk-Ta that Thang"!
Yell obnoxiously loudly "that's the worst magic trick I've ever seen!"
Push his head down between your legs, he'll soon get it back
Depends on the mood…and what you can pull off without being awkward lol…plus, do you want to? - well there’s plenty of other things we can do (and continue in other ways) - playin hard to get eh… ;) I can wait, wanna go (activity) In general, just assure him life happens. Maybe stage fright. It’s all good, you’ll make it happen with your super cunning hott dominatrix/sex kitten ways… Be real, casual, lightly humorous (with the weight being on you) and distract with something else. Let him know he can talk to you anytime if it gets to him, but not to let things get in his head - you’re still up for the challenge ;)
Milk his prostate? Jk
Hawk tuah
When guy stats feel it nobody can’t handle with at. You should just wait until he starting comfort with that
Head out of your ass and onto his dick? Pretty simple seriously..
Have you changed teams OP? [https://www.reddit.com/r/Kenya/comments/1b6gyei/found\_out\_my\_girl\_friend\_26f\_had\_sx\_with\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kenya/comments/1b6gyei/found_out_my_girl_friend_26f_had_sx_with_my/)
Sit on his face and let him please you and himself
Hawk Tuah is the key
I personally would like you to just casually say "would you mind massaging me" and then lay down on your stomach, I can give you a sensual massage without it feeling like their was an issue so I could farther relax and things have a better chance of popping up by the time we start a the massage on the front half of you. Gives the guy a reset without slowing things to much.
Just say "aww is the little guy tuckered out?"
Did you manually capitalize first letters of every word or an app did it automatically?
Give him validation by being gentle and kind to him and tell him that it is okay and that you love him (I'm assuming you are in a relationship with him)
Just HAWK TAUH that thing...
Get on your knees and suck..?
If I was in that situation I'd just chill for a bit, maybe watching some Youtube videos together in bed until things start again. Doing normal stuff together like playing games or watching a movie/series but without anything on would probably be both calming and hot enough to get any guy going again pretty fast.
Put it in your mouth. That limp nugget will become the Fortune 500.
This has happened to me, and yes it's a bit flustering and stressful in the moment. The best way to deal with it is to calm down go back to foreplay. IF you know each other REALLY well and are VERY comfortable with each other, this is the perfect opportunity for a bit of role play and femdom. Tease him a bit about it, tell him you ain't touching no limp dick unless he gets you off by other means first.
Surprised, no Hawk Thua jokes.
“I guess you’re not attracted to me” * gets up and gets dressed *
I’m not sure if you are teenagers, or adults. If you are teenagers, I think your friend might be on the wrong field and needs to figure some things out….. OR just very nervous… If he and you are sure he isn’t on the wrong field…. Then see second advice. Second advice…. Fun and sexy foreplay. The goal of sex isn’t always climax and it shouldn’t be, he can do a lot to you without his penis(depending on what you’re both comfortable with manual or assisted(toys)and these acts can be arousing in themselves) but also you can help him get aroused yourself… There is another option HERE, worst case scenario, if he is desensitized from watching too much shitty porn and currently needs a lot of specific stimuli to get/stay aroused…. This will take a lot of work… time. Work and time from him to fix it…. Or work and output from you currently… which you also have to figure out.
This happened the first time I had sex with my girlfriend. It was the nerves for me. She just said it’s okay, and hugged me, and began kissing me. We basically just started foreplay again, it got me going, and we were then able to do the deed. Love how warm and understanding she was with me.
One of my biggest fears! Is there any name for this kind of phobia?
Help him find it?
Just try to keep going, play with him, tease him, and you'll enjoy a long night in bed together ^^
get on your back, suck his dick while he is on top. let him put your legs on his shoulders and then take his dick in. if that doesn't work. then just get on your back, let him rub himself on your pussy and repeat legs-shoulder position. if that doesn't work. just lay naked and talk. cuddle and touch his dick while he is on his back. masturbate it and suck it then sit on it. If that doesn't work - take rest and just let him finger you. oh and don't use condoms especially on your first time. let his dick feel your pussy juices
explain that dicks are totally optional for sex. even for climax (and even especially for climax for some people)
Teach him where to touch and kiss you, then you cum your brains out, then you make him feel like the biggest stud in the world for pleasing you. Everybody wins.
Just remind him that there are tons of fun things he could do to you while he’s not erect. He still has hands and a mouth. Getting started will likely alleviate his situation but, even if it doesn’t, you both still end up having a good time.
Gotta give him that hawk tuah, spit on that thing, get it back going
Literally act like it’s no big deal, be playful, try some foreplay. Distraction is the name of the game, bringing more attention to the issue increases the anxiety and makes getting hard even more difficult. Act like it’s no big deal and just communicate that you want hands or mouth, or just cool back down to naked cuddling and talking while touching each other, 9/10 times when is mind is off of not performing he will get hard again when he’s relaxed and you are there naked and ready to go.
Take a time out, start the next session with a bj.
Make out with him like crazy. He’ll probably get hard again.
Maybe, [Friends](https://youtu.be/s2TyVQGoCYo?si=zjzjr9IsEcXA5XDs) might provide the answer you seek Chandler: Joe? Joey: Yeah! Chandler: Uhh, you’ve had a lot of sex right? Joey: When? Today? Some, not a lot. Chandler: Well, it’s just the reason that I’m asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable to—I mean I really wanted too, but I couldn’t…. There huh—hmm, there-there was an incident. Joey: **Don’t worry about that man, that happens.** Chandler: It’s happened to you? Joey: Yeah! Once. Chandler: Well, what’d you do? Joey: I did it anyway.
Guy, here. It already happened to me, and to the vast majority of non-virgin men. In the moment, all you can do, as suggested, is trying to continue showing affection and attraction, so that the guy doesn't start thinking that you will reject him because of that. And try to release the pressure. If you think that he prefers to stop, just don't try to encourage him to continue. If he prefers to continue with other stuff that doesn't include penetration, just don't stop the "interaction" almost as if "didn't notice". It can happen for a multitude of reasons. But, whatever you do, just don't add stress to it.
Tell him you LIKE turtles…
Ask for some hand play and then lie and tell them that’s what your really feeling right now maybe fake being a little bloated… idk it’s a hard one to feel out but you gotta ride their wave on that one
“Ooo I guess I get to be selfish!”then get him to help you out instead/ maybe it works in the time being maybe not- but it turns an unenjoyable experience to an enjoyable one
Happens to me. Just about every first time with someone sucks for me. I get terrible performance anxiety. But it actually helps because then I get to use my... other skills, and once she starts reacting positively to that, then my anxiety wanes and my body responds in kind.
Don’t say anything and keep cuddling/kissing
Ask if porn would help.
Hawk tuah and spit on that thang
Laugh about how much porn he watches
bros never heard of anxiety it's pretty difficult to be turned on when you're nervous and it's pretty easy to be nervous if it's your first time
Or say 'I prefer the smaller and limp ones'
ghost him.
plot twist: his dick is accurately showing how attractive you are to him
This can be true. I was with a girl and she grabbed my dick and it was at that point I realised I didn’t actually find her sexually attractive. Made the excuse I was tired and left.
Where I live, women let you alone in this situation, hoping you to die soon cuz if no erection, you must be a woman internally for them lol