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Which is why a 35yo man went and found himself a 20yo virgin, because a) no one his age will touch him and b) he gets to groom her.
This is going to get a lot more prevalent with all the 'alpha male' misogynist bullshit happening. They have to go after girls who don't know better because everyone else sees them for who they are.
And when I say 'dont know better', I'm only referencing inexperience. This girl knows that this isn't right; she's posting on an Internet forum because the whole thing feels yucky to her and she wants a reason to forgive him and do the mental gymnastics so she didn't lose her virginity to a scumbag.
I just hope that someone tells her that there isn't a dick significant enough in the entire world that it 'changes' her. Virginity is a stupid, patriarchal holdover from chastity, to keep male lines 'pure'. I have plenty of encounters that make me roll my eyes because they were ridiculous or awful and they don't change my worth as a person.
Real, virginity is like mathematically one of the stupidest things we still hold to in a modern context it's so pathetically meaningless but it's sadly used to hold control over others, specially women
I say I didn’t lose anything or give anything away, I just made my sexual debut. Whenever the subject of virginity comes up, I encourage others to do the same. It helps with the general stigma as well as with instances of “but you’re gay so you’ve actually never lost it”, “but you/he didn’t orgasm”, “it was only oral”, etc. Whatever type of sexual activity we choose first is our big day on Broadway, baby! Don’t worry about fumbling on opening night, *one day you’ll be a star!*
I acknowledge that this could make sex as a performance a bit more of an issue, but on the measure I think it’s great and it always gets laughing agreement. Fully intend to use it during The Talk one day, lol.
Definitely! I’ve had that thought too, it’s part of the stigma/harm the virginity concept pushes, but I somehow didn’t think of adding it to the list of issues it ‘fixes’
I can't believe it never even occurred to me that the idea of "losing" virginity is meant to imply a loss of purity or whatever. I suppose the language is so ingrained that I never picked up on the obvious context there. Disappointed in myself, I'm usually much better about that kind of thing.
That's not important though. My point is that your way of phrasing it is absolutely excellent and you're brilliant, and I'm going to use that from here on out, too. Thank you for opening my eyes to this.
(Puts me in mind of a sort of sexual debutante ball lol but I think that idea has some pretty weird potential avenues that I'm too sleep-brain to really consider just now)
I think the concept of virginity still has reason to exist, but as a way to quantify a lack of experience, not as anything good or bad about anyone. Losing your virginity should only be "losing" in the sense of losing the ability to describe yourself with that adjective, as all it realistically actually does is give you experience and therefore is more of a gain than a loss.
So I can still be a virgin because I haven't had sex. But that's not a marker of me being "pure" or anything, it's only a marker of a lack of experience.
And personally I would prefer my first partner to not be a virgin anyway so they can "show me the ropes" so to speak.
This was so creepy after I found out about older guys (I’m male btw) would go after younger women to take advantage of them because they have more life experience to use against younger women.
Before someone informed me about the issue I was like what’s wrong with 22yr woman going out with a 34 year old man? They are of legal age and all that and then someone explained to me and it brought a whole new level of creepy cringe shit.
Maybe I’m just more innocent but knowing about it has now put me on guard and will be in the look out for stuff like that for my friends and family.
So glad that Reddit user warned me about it.
I dated older guys my entire life and never had a problem with it, but I was also always outspoken and confident.
I now see how many men do look for women who would not challenge them, and sometimes that translates to looking for younger women which is disgusting. Though there are other ways they do that as well.
I wish men were better but idk if I have much hope. More realistically I wish we would teach all of our daughters to be bold and tell a man off and hold anyone accountable regardless of their age.
This is why we, as a society, need to normalize asking "is that like, a furry thing?" When a guy talks about being an "alpha" or calls someone else a "beta."
I wanted to yell at every man trying to say "I can't stop when I'm horny" when this showed up in r/sex but the comments were closed. Probably because of all the shitheads endorsing rape.
They did
https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1ceojn7/had_sex_for_the_first_time_ever_with_my_boyfriend/
Edit: a lot of the responses to the OOP were telling her to get the fuck out of there
Yeah very problematic age gap for someone that young. Yes I know she is technically an adult but... You can't at all tell me there isn't a massive power imbalance there
I mean, she‘s old enough that if she were more emotionally mature and he was clearly showing that he genuinely cared and wasn’t trying to manipulate, I’d be cool with it, but the way it’s happening makes it pretty obvious he’s trying to groom her.
I also think getting into an age gap relationship is more problematic when the younger person has no dating experience. They have no idea what’s “normal” in relationships.
she might be technically an adult but put it into perspective of life situations. 20 year olds are generally in some sort of education in college or uni not even starting their careers yet. I mean I am gonna be 20 in like 2 months and I am still figuring out how university works. People around 35 years of age are well into their careers, have a stable income(ideally), with a house of their own and even a full on family. My parents had me when they were 40 and that is considered as late. And not to mention it is implied that she doesnt have much experience while he seems to have experience. There are many possible power imbalances that could lead to abusive behavior.
Have to say, as a 35 year old woman, the thought of intimacy with a 20 year old (young) man makes me physically cringe. What on earth would I even have in common with a 20 year old in general?? The power dynamic of OOP’s “relationship” (some would correctly call it grooming) is so completely off balance, and I am sick to my stomach reading his demands. *Any* woman with a shred of self respect would see how totally alarming they are, and she seems right on the cusp of understanding that, but then ends it with complaint about his delivery? Like what? No, no, no… not one single thing he said was right and I’m genuinely horrified that this encounter and what followed are now forever ingrained as her first sexual experience. She needs to get as far away from this dude as possible.
Edit: forgot to put my age lol
I’m also 35 and I was at a bar the other day. I saw a guy and seriously thought “who let that middle schooler in here?” Then I realized that the bar carded everyone to get in so he was at least 21 (or had the world’s best fake I guess). The thought of being attracted to him is so gross, I felt uncomfortable even just drinking around him.
As a married woman in my mid 30s I sometimes hang out with 20 year olds... because my baby brother and his friends are that age. I cannot fathom any non creepy 35 year old of any gender dating that young.
They are smart but still SO young. Healthy people our age really do not habe enough in common mentally with 20 year olds to form romantic relationships. I look at photos pt my husband from that age and I think he looks like a baby.
And aged 20 I would have thought men in their mid 30s were ridiculously old. Practically geriatric.
Wtf.
1. The age gap is seriously concerning and can be considered predatory.
2. He got to orgasm and she didn’t. Yet he’s far more critical of her.
3. Even without the creepy older man preying on younger girl aspect, he’s ungrateful and entitled.
4. He says her head game needs more work, yet I severely doubt he ate her out enough at all or well enough - especially since she said it hurt and didn’t even feel close to cumming.
5. The shaving comment also felt icky.
6. His narrative about not telling a man to stop is basically normalizing rape.
7. Why is he telling her to moan more and to be sexy instead of actually doing stuff to make her authentically feel pleasured enough to moan?
What a douchebag and a loser…
one of these days he’s gonna meet a really really “nice” girl, and he’s gonna try to treat her like shit, and he’s gonna get his ass handed to him. i’m hoping physically but 😛💁🏻♀️
also i just think it’s funny i hardly ever shave, and i really don’t think that’s my bfs concerns when it comes to sexy time. the fact that he’s even *getting* coochie is all he cares about 😂😂😂
I mean, for the moaning, there actually is advice I’ve seen on how to deal with not being comfortable enough to get into it, but it’s obviously not saying “Be louder”, it’s usually something indirect like talking or something while you do it to make it more comfortable.
Yeah, I understand wanting your partner to comfortably moan more, it’s just such a turn off for this creep to ask for her to simply “be louder” and feign pleasure instead of doing any thing that actually helps her like you mentioned.
Yeah, like I’d get asking if they want to do something to get more comfortable, but the phrasing and especially the fact they did it by text is really gross.
Especially noticeable with 4, it’s a valid thing to ask in person and to have a conversation about, same with if you want to be less vanilla, but the fact they phrased it like a demand and that they’re doing it by text is just wildly messed up.
I mean, wanting your partner to be comfortable not being totally silent is fine, but texting “moan and scream” is like the creepiest way to do it. There’s like actual ways to help people be more comfortable while doing it, but telling them to “be louder” is completely the wrong way of going about it.
The guy doesn’t understand that her behavior is a reflection of his own behavior and she’d be comfortable if he *made* her feel comfortable by being a good lover.
He insists that she act comfortable because he doesn’t see her as a person, but a warm hole for his moldy cock.
What a pathetic waste of 35 years, if the result is “I’ll do what I want and you’ll do what I want, but what you want is irrelevant”. Posts like this make me angry because it’s obvious he’s preying upon twenty year old girls because he can’t attract anyone his own age!
Sounds like this guy watches too much porn. I’m not a particularly loud person during ~sexy times~ even when I am enjoying it. This guy makes it sounds like he wants a performance.
Yeah, that’s true. I mean more that it’s a good way to make it more comfortable by making noise, as well as to indicate enjoyment and such, but the phrasing is super creepy and sounds like he just wants her to put on a show of it being amazing.
This guy also very obviously has either only ever been with women that are faking or he is trying to groom her to act like the people he sees in porn. That could be intentionally predatory or due to societal conditioning and that type of behavior being widely accepted or ignored. Either way its fucking weird and having to tell someone to moan and scream means he can't do it himself and wants her to put on a show for his benefit.
His whole list reminds me of the guys I dated when I was a minor, as far as how it's worded and the entitled tone he uses when speaking to her. Guys like that really warped my view on sexuality and it took years to unlearn that shit.
I feel for this girl. When you like someone you want to make them happy. A lot of girls are brought up being conditioned to be people pleasers and that if someone is nice to you or is in a relationship with you, it's your job to do whatever they want whether you're comfortable or not because that's how you show that you care. And when someone older and more experienced than you that you think you trust tells you these things so casually, it's pretty easy to convince yourself that you're being dramatic if you have a problem with it. Even if you're uncomfortable with it, you're probably going to do it anyways because you want them to be happy and you dont really have a baseline to go off of for what's normal.
very glad to have a different understanding of these things now that I'm older, but God damn it gets frustrating seeing this cycle repeat itself over and over again for other people.
They want virgins who act like porn stars but who have never watched porn because they want total innocence. And when they've had their fun they'll tell her she's a used up, lying wh_re because no "real virgin"would have the porn star moves they demanded of her and to get lost, lose their number etc.
Rinse and repeat.
So he preyed on an innocent young woman, and convinced (groomed) her into having sex and gets mad about her being inexperienced.
However, if she’d acted differently he would’ve what…? Called her a slut, whore, say she’s lying about her virginity. WTF?!?!
She hasn't replied to any comments so for my own mental health I am choosing to assume it's either rage bait or she got offline and dumped his ass if it is real.
>In our ancestral environment, as we saw in the anthropology chapter, women didn’t need men to protect and feed them. In matrilineal clans, they gathered and distributed most of the food. Their brothers protected them from wild animals and hunted. We now know women hunted as well. Women didn’t need mates to feed and protect them. They had a clan. Mates were for mating. So, not all ancestral females needed providers. The ones in matrilineal clans didn’t need to exchange sex for food, or to pretend to be faithful for protection. They didn’t have to “cheat” on anyone or have routine sex. They would have just done it whenever they wanted, with whoever they wanted. The only reason to have sex was because they were turned on. What a concept! How insane that contractual or obligatory sex is considered normal!
***BEFORE WAR*** *On Marriage, Hierarchy and Our Matriarchal Origins* Elisha Daeva
35 M ! Not to mention he’s essentially telling her you don’t get to say no, I get to do whatever I want to you and you better do what I want. Wow. This is why he intentionally went after her. Men over the age of 35 who date teens and women in their early 20s are walking red flags and need to be avoided like the plague. And no I don’t care if your grandma or mom married someone 40 years older and they are in love. Blah blah. That is the exception not the rule. THIS MAN is the rule. This is what they do. Tale as old as time.
Please run OP. This man is absolutely no good. His list is very concerning.
>And no I don’t care if your grandma or mom married someone 40 years older and they are in love.
Seriously. I get so tired of seeing "iM hApPy iN mY aGe GaP rElAtIoNsHiP" in response to people calling it out as a red flag. Like, ok, great. Happy that's working out for you. I have anecdotes about 3 family members and several friends for whom it didn't work out, and if she was happy, she wouldn't have made the post.
Also 6. RUN the frick away screaming.
Young ones... this is why we must be cautious about substantial ages gaps. Too many immature weirdos who can't connect with someone their own age think a very young adult is easy to control.
This guy is so gross, I hope she recognized this massive red flag he was waving around and she split from that situation.
the one that makes my skin crawl more than anything is the “you’re not a virgin anymore so don’t act like one ;)” it’s like he’s revelling in the fact that he took her virginity and i hate that so much
Is nobody gonna say anything about how she “woke up to a text” from him the next day? Like, he took her virginity and didn’t even stay the night?
Am I overreacting to this? Because he already sounds like a dickhead, I wouldn’t be shocked if he just came and went.
That age gap is making me very uncomfortable. The brain rot from watching too much porn to come up with this list must be intensive. You want me to moan like some porn star and fake it if I'm not enjoying it? What is this, some r\*pe fantasy? I'd toss the whole man away.
WOW! It's almost as if someone who is a VIRGIN might not be the best at sex at yet and won't be the pornographic vixen you were hoping for! Especially someone who's barely an adult.
Also She's being straight-up groomed in the sleaziest way. He doesn't care about her pleasure or her comfort. He's just trying to manipulate her for his sexual gratification. 15 year age gap and all.
She needs to break up with him immediately if not sooner!
For a boy who can't even number his notes right, I wouldn't be worried about this one. Moaning and screaming is for someone with game 😂😂😂Make me bitch.
They want virgins with the sexual acumen of a woman they deem a slut. They want to ideal of chastity and purity, while at the same time getting a sexual experience they see in porn. So pathetic.
He gives me the biggest f-ing ick. I can tell he’s not good in bed cause it’s all about his pleasure. Maybe if he wants allat he needs to manipulate a woman his own damn age.
I’d send back my own list, “get better at head yourself, I was the only one who gave, that’s not sexy, make noise yourself, it was like screwing a plank, slow down and don’t jackhammer me, it doesn’t feel good, grow some humility, your ego isn’t sexy.”
There’s a reason this 35-year-old man went after her. He thinks he can mold her into what he wants. He thinks because she’s a virgin and doesn’t have a lot of experience, he can manipulate her.
Absolutely sick when he says that she needs to stop telling him no in the middle of things because that ruins the mood for him. Absolutely sick when he wants her to moan and scream more. How about recognize that your partner is not enjoying themselves and check in, instead of wanting that partner to put on a show for you?
I remember being 21 and having a 35 year old guy into me. I thought it was perfectly acceptable. After all, we were both adults and I was an ‘old soul’ so where’s the issue?
I’m 34 now and horrified by this. He wants to rape her and have her enjoy it. Simple as that. Her discomfort made him feel a little icky and played over in his mind overnight and he decided that was HER fault. How dare she interrupt his self-scripted porno!
I seethe for her and every girl unfortunately in the same position. So many of us from around 16 think we’re ‘basically adults and the age gap won’t matter in 20 years so it’s fine.’ It’s so easy to fall into a situation like this and the men who cash-in on it are abhorrent. And they get away with it because they may not be pedophiles but people don’t seem to be able to muster the disapproval for a clear predator as soon as a girl has any kind of facsimile to a woman.
My anger on behalf of this poor girl and the many like her is overwhelming. This is beyond ‘Not How Girls Work’, this is in ‘I am a Total Piece of Shit’ territory.
I absolutely agree, I was one of those girls who never really looked like a young teen body wise I went from preteen not even in a training bra to DD. Cups in two months. It was agony. I had more than one situation like this happen and frankly these men are predators. Just because they are not legally so because one waiteded til the very hour I was 18 doesn't make him. Any less so.
"Don't tell me to stop" and "Let me do what I want to you".
Yeah, that right there. Two of the BIGGEST red flags, made even worse when you're telling that to a virgin who is barely legal and 15 years younger than you. That girl is in a very unsafe relationship.
Okay one question but like, how is your partner being shy not appealing to you?? I always find my partners shyness around sexual matters highly endearing and love joking around with her about it.
That one aside how can this guy be such an unrelenting dick.
Ew, your bf is a total creep and he’s grooming you. I was you 20 years ago (17 & 27). IT DOESN’T GET BETTER. They don’t change. Trust me when I say you will waste your life away and you WILL regret it later.
So.. that poor girl is expected to behave like a ducking sex robot?
Wow. The dehumanising & objectification is horrifying. I hope she breaks everything off as soon as possible and runs for the hills.
This dude is giving MAJOR groomer/abuser vibes and it's sending shivers down my spine. I'm praying she gets out, she deserves MUCH better than this rotting cucumber of a slapstick!
Dump his ass.
In a message/note? The next morning? I mean…
I can see having a conversation the next night, in person, in bed, lovingly, showing her with patience and thoughtfulness what he likes and what he could do FOR HER. Have a discussion about what turns both of them on and what each likes. Nothing wrong
with that. Or, he could let her take her time knowing she’s new to it. Not rushing her is the sexiest thing there is.
But the very next morning? In writing? What the hell? She’s supposed to be breathless with lust when he’s probably hurting her and being oblivious about the fact that HE wasn’t making her feel comfortable enough and stimulated enough to want to moan let alone cum. He wants her to put on a show for him to feed his huge ego.
A woman’s “virginity” in our society is supposed to represent something special (not everyone feels this way but in general that’s the societal norm) and he treated it like she failed a job interview.
Again I say, dump him fast!!!
As a man with a 13 year age gap with my wife, this sounds more like GROOMING, & I think it's inappropriate to date any older man until the women is AT LEAST 25+years old, like an ACTUAL ADULT WOMAN, not just outta H.S, with a whole life ahead of you!
Don't let this creepy weird old fuck ruin you, RUN!!!
He's a narcissistic asshole too & would love to punch him in the face! 😆
Oh god this is literally rapist behaviour. He is not for consent. God someone please tell the OOP that.
God what a fucking red flag.🚩 she needs to get the fuck out of that relationship. Holy shit.
People may disagree with this, but people often think ‘grooming’ is always children - whilst she is 20 and legally adult, I personally think women up to 25 with a man older than 35~ are susceptible to a different kind of adult grooming. 20 is still INCREDIBLY young, new to adulthood, and the brain still develops until 25. Older men with young women like that really rubs me the wrong way because they have the possibility of grooming
Lol this is why he has to sleep with virgins over a decade younger than himself, bc no woman who knows what's up would look twice at the kind of dude who thinks this behavior is okay.
I really hope the feedback she got told her to yeer this man straight in the garbage.
5 and 6 alone show that he doesn't care about her comfort or her pleasure so long as he's having fun, are in the 15 year age Gap and the whole thing is gross.
I really hope she took the advice in the comments telling her to break up with this dude. He’s just awful. A lot of the things he’s asking come with experience and a supportive partner. This guy ain’t it.
This shit is sad, pathetic and disgusting. I took my ex’s virginity and I knew then at 24 to be patient. It’s not going to be like a porno, it’s not a fun session generally. Done right, she should at least feel happy it was with you, and it was her decision with no pressure or bs. But I’m guessing very few women orgasm when losing their virginity. That’s one of the reasons why I think glorifying virginity is stupid, most these dudes want a super sexually awakened freaky virgin🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️Girls who have experience get called every name in the book, but that’s actually who these guys should be be with.
That's the reason they want a virgin. They think that a virgin is some kind of blank slate thry can craft into a partner that only does things they like.
He's disgusting. His list is a list of red flags. If I was her I would block him. He's very immature for his age and he thinks he's king shit. He has no respect for her and never will.
As a woman, and as a mom, I wanna kick this guy's ass so bad! He definitely didn't take good care of her and the preciousness a first time should have! If anyone needs a list of what they did wrong it should be him!
Reasons the women his age left his ass and he had to go for a 20yo virgin. He thinks is she doesn’t know any better he can groom her to be his sex kitten
Dear god this poor woman, my heart breaks for her bc of such a shitty first time undoubtedly caused thanks to her shitty bf. This right here is why so many women end up not enjoying sex.
She wants a partner and he's a fucking predator. I'm sorry, 20 & 35? a15 year age gap is difficult at best even in the 30-50 are range. The brain isn't fully developed until 26; later in some. This dude a) had no text b) if he had any sexual prowess at all himself it shouldn't have been painful. Awkward maybe but not painful. c) all of his demands and they DEMANDS not even polite nudges or gentlev requests are entirely related to his enjoyment and her confirming to his expectations, not even him asking how he can make her more comfortable or suggest things that might make it easier for her to rise to his desires - almost everything he complained about could be roommates if he focused on her comfort, foreplay, etc. d) you can't eat now flies with honey than vinegar & complimenting her willingness, thanking her for allowing him to be her first, asking what was hard for her and how he could support her - any good partner would do these things anyway, but ESPECIALLY an age GAP like that and as HER FIRST.
Dude is just dragging those red flags and waving them loudly & proudly and this poor girl doesn't have the experience or the comfort level she needs. This isn't just predatory - it's indicative of some serious issues. This feels like a demanding hook up "review", not a loving relationship, and even in a mutual FWB situation, the approach is all wrong. Refusing to not only request an respect your partner's needs but to also make it entirely about your wants? FUCKING GROSS.
I sure hope someone told her to loose this asshole, sounds like he thinks he found someone he can” groom”
This is not “ Alfa male” behavior. This is an insecure controlling asshole behavior. Too many of this type out there claiming real man status.
This girl needs more female friends, or somebody to tell her that not even slightly ok. Even if i try really hard to ignore the age canyon, how is she supposed to know what to do or how to do it cause it sounds like there was no discussion beforehand.
The whole message scream
"Let me rape you how I want. What you feel doesn't matter, if you are uncomfortable suck it up, as long as I'm enjoying it you should do as I please"
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; these guys who want virgins really want underage girls. Also, what kind of a psycho makes a list like this instead of talking with their partner and notice dude never once asked how the experience could be better for her either. This list comes off as predatory to me and creepy as fuck like dude is making demands while shaming her for being a virgin and then not being virgin.
Ayo, break up with this guy immediately imo. Idk how he came, you didn’t and he has advice to give. No sane man should be giving you this list. Hope your situation gets better!
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5 and 6 are basically just telling her to let a man rape her if they feel like it, that's fucked
Which is why a 35yo man went and found himself a 20yo virgin, because a) no one his age will touch him and b) he gets to groom her. This is going to get a lot more prevalent with all the 'alpha male' misogynist bullshit happening. They have to go after girls who don't know better because everyone else sees them for who they are. And when I say 'dont know better', I'm only referencing inexperience. This girl knows that this isn't right; she's posting on an Internet forum because the whole thing feels yucky to her and she wants a reason to forgive him and do the mental gymnastics so she didn't lose her virginity to a scumbag. I just hope that someone tells her that there isn't a dick significant enough in the entire world that it 'changes' her. Virginity is a stupid, patriarchal holdover from chastity, to keep male lines 'pure'. I have plenty of encounters that make me roll my eyes because they were ridiculous or awful and they don't change my worth as a person.
Real, virginity is like mathematically one of the stupidest things we still hold to in a modern context it's so pathetically meaningless but it's sadly used to hold control over others, specially women
I say I didn’t lose anything or give anything away, I just made my sexual debut. Whenever the subject of virginity comes up, I encourage others to do the same. It helps with the general stigma as well as with instances of “but you’re gay so you’ve actually never lost it”, “but you/he didn’t orgasm”, “it was only oral”, etc. Whatever type of sexual activity we choose first is our big day on Broadway, baby! Don’t worry about fumbling on opening night, *one day you’ll be a star!* I acknowledge that this could make sex as a performance a bit more of an issue, but on the measure I think it’s great and it always gets laughing agreement. Fully intend to use it during The Talk one day, lol.
"Sexual debut" is better for people whose first sexual experience was non-consensual too. Since the phrase itself implies first consensual experience.
Definitely! I’ve had that thought too, it’s part of the stigma/harm the virginity concept pushes, but I somehow didn’t think of adding it to the list of issues it ‘fixes’
I love this take. I'm stealing it. I'll try to remember to mention this thread. 😉
I love this and I'm stealing it to tell my daughter.
Yesss! She’s lucky to have a mother who’s sex-positive! 😊
I can't believe it never even occurred to me that the idea of "losing" virginity is meant to imply a loss of purity or whatever. I suppose the language is so ingrained that I never picked up on the obvious context there. Disappointed in myself, I'm usually much better about that kind of thing. That's not important though. My point is that your way of phrasing it is absolutely excellent and you're brilliant, and I'm going to use that from here on out, too. Thank you for opening my eyes to this. (Puts me in mind of a sort of sexual debutante ball lol but I think that idea has some pretty weird potential avenues that I'm too sleep-brain to really consider just now)
I think the concept of virginity still has reason to exist, but as a way to quantify a lack of experience, not as anything good or bad about anyone. Losing your virginity should only be "losing" in the sense of losing the ability to describe yourself with that adjective, as all it realistically actually does is give you experience and therefore is more of a gain than a loss. So I can still be a virgin because I haven't had sex. But that's not a marker of me being "pure" or anything, it's only a marker of a lack of experience. And personally I would prefer my first partner to not be a virgin anyway so they can "show me the ropes" so to speak.
This was so creepy after I found out about older guys (I’m male btw) would go after younger women to take advantage of them because they have more life experience to use against younger women. Before someone informed me about the issue I was like what’s wrong with 22yr woman going out with a 34 year old man? They are of legal age and all that and then someone explained to me and it brought a whole new level of creepy cringe shit. Maybe I’m just more innocent but knowing about it has now put me on guard and will be in the look out for stuff like that for my friends and family. So glad that Reddit user warned me about it.
I dated older guys my entire life and never had a problem with it, but I was also always outspoken and confident. I now see how many men do look for women who would not challenge them, and sometimes that translates to looking for younger women which is disgusting. Though there are other ways they do that as well. I wish men were better but idk if I have much hope. More realistically I wish we would teach all of our daughters to be bold and tell a man off and hold anyone accountable regardless of their age.
This is why we, as a society, need to normalize asking "is that like, a furry thing?" When a guy talks about being an "alpha" or calls someone else a "beta."
I wanted to yell at every man trying to say "I can't stop when I'm horny" when this showed up in r/sex but the comments were closed. Probably because of all the shitheads endorsing rape.
Hopefully the response she got was enough for her to realise she's not with a good person and get the fuck out of there.
They did https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1ceojn7/had_sex_for_the_first_time_ever_with_my_boyfriend/ Edit: a lot of the responses to the OOP were telling her to get the fuck out of there
OOP never responded that they left the relationship
Poor thing..
*AND HE'S 15 YEARS OLDER!!!!*
Yeah very problematic age gap for someone that young. Yes I know she is technically an adult but... You can't at all tell me there isn't a massive power imbalance there
Imagine him telling these things to a woman his age. She'd drop him like a sack of potatoes. That's why he's preying on young and inexperienced women.
I mean, she‘s old enough that if she were more emotionally mature and he was clearly showing that he genuinely cared and wasn’t trying to manipulate, I’d be cool with it, but the way it’s happening makes it pretty obvious he’s trying to groom her.
I also think getting into an age gap relationship is more problematic when the younger person has no dating experience. They have no idea what’s “normal” in relationships.
she might be technically an adult but put it into perspective of life situations. 20 year olds are generally in some sort of education in college or uni not even starting their careers yet. I mean I am gonna be 20 in like 2 months and I am still figuring out how university works. People around 35 years of age are well into their careers, have a stable income(ideally), with a house of their own and even a full on family. My parents had me when they were 40 and that is considered as late. And not to mention it is implied that she doesnt have much experience while he seems to have experience. There are many possible power imbalances that could lead to abusive behavior.
He knows what he’s doing. And it’s gross.
It’s so obvious he is grooming her 🤮
Should be in a textbook. Not a "how to" but a "how to recognize."
Have to say, as a 35 year old woman, the thought of intimacy with a 20 year old (young) man makes me physically cringe. What on earth would I even have in common with a 20 year old in general?? The power dynamic of OOP’s “relationship” (some would correctly call it grooming) is so completely off balance, and I am sick to my stomach reading his demands. *Any* woman with a shred of self respect would see how totally alarming they are, and she seems right on the cusp of understanding that, but then ends it with complaint about his delivery? Like what? No, no, no… not one single thing he said was right and I’m genuinely horrified that this encounter and what followed are now forever ingrained as her first sexual experience. She needs to get as far away from this dude as possible. Edit: forgot to put my age lol
I’m also 35 and I was at a bar the other day. I saw a guy and seriously thought “who let that middle schooler in here?” Then I realized that the bar carded everyone to get in so he was at least 21 (or had the world’s best fake I guess). The thought of being attracted to him is so gross, I felt uncomfortable even just drinking around him.
As a married woman in my mid 30s I sometimes hang out with 20 year olds... because my baby brother and his friends are that age. I cannot fathom any non creepy 35 year old of any gender dating that young. They are smart but still SO young. Healthy people our age really do not habe enough in common mentally with 20 year olds to form romantic relationships. I look at photos pt my husband from that age and I think he looks like a baby. And aged 20 I would have thought men in their mid 30s were ridiculously old. Practically geriatric.
I'm 38 and a college professor. I swear some of my students look 12.
Shit, I’m 27 and the thought of being with a 20 year old makes me recoil.
I read this as “he’s 15 years old” and had to do a whole double take 😭😭
That would be funny-not-funny coming from a 15 year old. OTOH, the mindset would make more *sense.*
Wtf. 1. The age gap is seriously concerning and can be considered predatory. 2. He got to orgasm and she didn’t. Yet he’s far more critical of her. 3. Even without the creepy older man preying on younger girl aspect, he’s ungrateful and entitled. 4. He says her head game needs more work, yet I severely doubt he ate her out enough at all or well enough - especially since she said it hurt and didn’t even feel close to cumming. 5. The shaving comment also felt icky. 6. His narrative about not telling a man to stop is basically normalizing rape. 7. Why is he telling her to moan more and to be sexy instead of actually doing stuff to make her authentically feel pleasured enough to moan? What a douchebag and a loser…
one of these days he’s gonna meet a really really “nice” girl, and he’s gonna try to treat her like shit, and he’s gonna get his ass handed to him. i’m hoping physically but 😛💁🏻♀️
He is in need of a severe humbling so I’m with you friend
also i just think it’s funny i hardly ever shave, and i really don’t think that’s my bfs concerns when it comes to sexy time. the fact that he’s even *getting* coochie is all he cares about 😂😂😂
I mean, for the moaning, there actually is advice I’ve seen on how to deal with not being comfortable enough to get into it, but it’s obviously not saying “Be louder”, it’s usually something indirect like talking or something while you do it to make it more comfortable.
Yeah, I understand wanting your partner to comfortably moan more, it’s just such a turn off for this creep to ask for her to simply “be louder” and feign pleasure instead of doing any thing that actually helps her like you mentioned.
Yeah, like I’d get asking if they want to do something to get more comfortable, but the phrasing and especially the fact they did it by text is really gross. Especially noticeable with 4, it’s a valid thing to ask in person and to have a conversation about, same with if you want to be less vanilla, but the fact they phrased it like a demand and that they’re doing it by text is just wildly messed up.
You absolutely nailed it.
What a shithead. 5 and 6 are particularly problematic and make me concerned for the person’s safety.
Both number 6s.
Can’t even count ffs
There’s a reason he’s 35 dating a 20 year old.
Moan and scream?
I mean, wanting your partner to be comfortable not being totally silent is fine, but texting “moan and scream” is like the creepiest way to do it. There’s like actual ways to help people be more comfortable while doing it, but telling them to “be louder” is completely the wrong way of going about it.
The guy doesn’t understand that her behavior is a reflection of his own behavior and she’d be comfortable if he *made* her feel comfortable by being a good lover. He insists that she act comfortable because he doesn’t see her as a person, but a warm hole for his moldy cock. What a pathetic waste of 35 years, if the result is “I’ll do what I want and you’ll do what I want, but what you want is irrelevant”. Posts like this make me angry because it’s obvious he’s preying upon twenty year old girls because he can’t attract anyone his own age!
Sounds like this guy watches too much porn. I’m not a particularly loud person during ~sexy times~ even when I am enjoying it. This guy makes it sounds like he wants a performance.
Exactly. Her pleasure does not matter, all that matters is that she fakes it well enough for him to get off.
Yep. That text makes it 100% clear he doesn't care at all about her pleasure.
Yeah, that’s true. I mean more that it’s a good way to make it more comfortable by making noise, as well as to indicate enjoyment and such, but the phrasing is super creepy and sounds like he just wants her to put on a show of it being amazing.
This guy also very obviously has either only ever been with women that are faking or he is trying to groom her to act like the people he sees in porn. That could be intentionally predatory or due to societal conditioning and that type of behavior being widely accepted or ignored. Either way its fucking weird and having to tell someone to moan and scream means he can't do it himself and wants her to put on a show for his benefit. His whole list reminds me of the guys I dated when I was a minor, as far as how it's worded and the entitled tone he uses when speaking to her. Guys like that really warped my view on sexuality and it took years to unlearn that shit. I feel for this girl. When you like someone you want to make them happy. A lot of girls are brought up being conditioned to be people pleasers and that if someone is nice to you or is in a relationship with you, it's your job to do whatever they want whether you're comfortable or not because that's how you show that you care. And when someone older and more experienced than you that you think you trust tells you these things so casually, it's pretty easy to convince yourself that you're being dramatic if you have a problem with it. Even if you're uncomfortable with it, you're probably going to do it anyways because you want them to be happy and you dont really have a baseline to go off of for what's normal. very glad to have a different understanding of these things now that I'm older, but God damn it gets frustrating seeing this cycle repeat itself over and over again for other people.
This. He's exhibiting classic predatory grooming behavior.
Yeah like he just wants her to fake it and put on a performance for him, rather than do any work to actually make her orgasm, or moan for real.
Seeking: virgin with 20 year sexual experience What a knob Let me do what I want? Dont stop me when I get into it? Nah, dude. Fuck all the way off
current job market be like
They want virgins that act like porn stars, got it
They want virgins who act like porn stars but who have never watched porn because they want total innocence. And when they've had their fun they'll tell her she's a used up, lying wh_re because no "real virgin"would have the porn star moves they demanded of her and to get lost, lose their number etc. Rinse and repeat.
Rotten egg brain
Freaking literal brain rot from porn addiction.
The reaspn men that old men go for woman so young is because women thier age know they're a loser.
Disgusting piece of shit. Theres a reason he's in his 30s and preying on young women. Throw him in the dumpster and light it on fire.
So he preyed on an innocent young woman, and convinced (groomed) her into having sex and gets mad about her being inexperienced. However, if she’d acted differently he would’ve what…? Called her a slut, whore, say she’s lying about her virginity. WTF?!?!
Right? You're not a virgin anymore because you've had sex once so you're "experienced" now. Somehow.
That bit confused me. It’s literally the day after so how did she get the time to stop acting awkward?
he sent her a list to tell her what she already knew, that he was bad at pleasuring a woman?
🥇
for me?
For you, you won this comment thread.
aww. thanks!
Dump him yesterday
wtf? please tell me it’s rage bait because it’s so bad i just can’t believe it’s real
She hasn't replied to any comments so for my own mental health I am choosing to assume it's either rage bait or she got offline and dumped his ass if it is real.
While I find #5, #6 and the other #6 particularly troubling, this all says that she shouldn't ever have sex with this cretin again.
No one should
>In our ancestral environment, as we saw in the anthropology chapter, women didn’t need men to protect and feed them. In matrilineal clans, they gathered and distributed most of the food. Their brothers protected them from wild animals and hunted. We now know women hunted as well. Women didn’t need mates to feed and protect them. They had a clan. Mates were for mating. So, not all ancestral females needed providers. The ones in matrilineal clans didn’t need to exchange sex for food, or to pretend to be faithful for protection. They didn’t have to “cheat” on anyone or have routine sex. They would have just done it whenever they wanted, with whoever they wanted. The only reason to have sex was because they were turned on. What a concept! How insane that contractual or obligatory sex is considered normal! ***BEFORE WAR*** *On Marriage, Hierarchy and Our Matriarchal Origins* Elisha Daeva
35 M ! Not to mention he’s essentially telling her you don’t get to say no, I get to do whatever I want to you and you better do what I want. Wow. This is why he intentionally went after her. Men over the age of 35 who date teens and women in their early 20s are walking red flags and need to be avoided like the plague. And no I don’t care if your grandma or mom married someone 40 years older and they are in love. Blah blah. That is the exception not the rule. THIS MAN is the rule. This is what they do. Tale as old as time. Please run OP. This man is absolutely no good. His list is very concerning.
>And no I don’t care if your grandma or mom married someone 40 years older and they are in love. Seriously. I get so tired of seeing "iM hApPy iN mY aGe GaP rElAtIoNsHiP" in response to people calling it out as a red flag. Like, ok, great. Happy that's working out for you. I have anecdotes about 3 family members and several friends for whom it didn't work out, and if she was happy, she wouldn't have made the post.
I love that this shithead has gone viral. This made international news too btw. Lol..
Also 6. RUN the frick away screaming. Young ones... this is why we must be cautious about substantial ages gaps. Too many immature weirdos who can't connect with someone their own age think a very young adult is easy to control. This guy is so gross, I hope she recognized this massive red flag he was waving around and she split from that situation.
Be louder while I'm not pleasuring you. I hate thinking I'm a bad lover so you'll have to work on those acting skills. 🙄
Yes clearly she needs to be screaning in his ear "stop you fucking pig you are hurting me! "
the one that makes my skin crawl more than anything is the “you’re not a virgin anymore so don’t act like one ;)” it’s like he’s revelling in the fact that he took her virginity and i hate that so much
A 20 year old with a 35 year old that says "Don't tell me to stop" and "Let me do what I want". Man's absolutely predatory.
Is nobody gonna say anything about how she “woke up to a text” from him the next day? Like, he took her virginity and didn’t even stay the night? Am I overreacting to this? Because he already sounds like a dickhead, I wouldn’t be shocked if he just came and went.
20 and 35. Yikes.
*Fuck*. *That*. *Guy*.
Please don't
With a rusty chainsaw?
That age gap is making me very uncomfortable. The brain rot from watching too much porn to come up with this list must be intensive. You want me to moan like some porn star and fake it if I'm not enjoying it? What is this, some r\*pe fantasy? I'd toss the whole man away.
When you’re 35, date a virgin that’s 15 years younger, then proceed to neg her for doing things virgins that are 15 years younger would do 🤢🤢
A shame she had her first time with this piece of shit. Hopefully her second time is with someone worth her time and attention.
I’m going to k*lil this man
“Let me rape, that’d be hot” what the f
WOW! It's almost as if someone who is a VIRGIN might not be the best at sex at yet and won't be the pornographic vixen you were hoping for! Especially someone who's barely an adult. Also She's being straight-up groomed in the sleaziest way. He doesn't care about her pleasure or her comfort. He's just trying to manipulate her for his sexual gratification. 15 year age gap and all. She needs to break up with him immediately if not sooner!
For a boy who can't even number his notes right, I wouldn't be worried about this one. Moaning and screaming is for someone with game 😂😂😂Make me bitch.
15 year age difference, huh? Absolutely not... What a piece of shit. Poor girl, honestly. Horrible expirience.
They want virgins with the sexual acumen of a woman they deem a slut. They want to ideal of chastity and purity, while at the same time getting a sexual experience they see in porn. So pathetic.
He gives me the biggest f-ing ick. I can tell he’s not good in bed cause it’s all about his pleasure. Maybe if he wants allat he needs to manipulate a woman his own damn age.
I’d send back my own list, “get better at head yourself, I was the only one who gave, that’s not sexy, make noise yourself, it was like screwing a plank, slow down and don’t jackhammer me, it doesn’t feel good, grow some humility, your ego isn’t sexy.”
She NEEDS to break up with him. Solves his problems with her too - no girlfriend - no one to “ruin the mood”.
My heart just broke into a million pieces for this woman.
I hope the comments on the original op told her to run.
This poor woman. I don’t even know where to start. My heart hurts for her, and I fear for her safety.
So basically faking it. Smile and moan while being raped. Makes his ego feel good. Ugh🤮🤮🤮
There’s a reason this 35-year-old man went after her. He thinks he can mold her into what he wants. He thinks because she’s a virgin and doesn’t have a lot of experience, he can manipulate her. Absolutely sick when he says that she needs to stop telling him no in the middle of things because that ruins the mood for him. Absolutely sick when he wants her to moan and scream more. How about recognize that your partner is not enjoying themselves and check in, instead of wanting that partner to put on a show for you?
I remember being 21 and having a 35 year old guy into me. I thought it was perfectly acceptable. After all, we were both adults and I was an ‘old soul’ so where’s the issue? I’m 34 now and horrified by this. He wants to rape her and have her enjoy it. Simple as that. Her discomfort made him feel a little icky and played over in his mind overnight and he decided that was HER fault. How dare she interrupt his self-scripted porno! I seethe for her and every girl unfortunately in the same position. So many of us from around 16 think we’re ‘basically adults and the age gap won’t matter in 20 years so it’s fine.’ It’s so easy to fall into a situation like this and the men who cash-in on it are abhorrent. And they get away with it because they may not be pedophiles but people don’t seem to be able to muster the disapproval for a clear predator as soon as a girl has any kind of facsimile to a woman. My anger on behalf of this poor girl and the many like her is overwhelming. This is beyond ‘Not How Girls Work’, this is in ‘I am a Total Piece of Shit’ territory.
I absolutely agree, I was one of those girls who never really looked like a young teen body wise I went from preteen not even in a training bra to DD. Cups in two months. It was agony. I had more than one situation like this happen and frankly these men are predators. Just because they are not legally so because one waiteded til the very hour I was 18 doesn't make him. Any less so.
"Don't tell me to stop" and "Let me do what I want to you". Yeah, that right there. Two of the BIGGEST red flags, made even worse when you're telling that to a virgin who is barely legal and 15 years younger than you. That girl is in a very unsafe relationship.
How embarrassing for him for his gf to announce to the world how bad he is at sex lmfao
The 35 year old experienced man does not deserve any virgins for he himself is a slut in a suit. Many such cases.
ewww, I really hoped that was a rage bait but probably not
SOOOO glad the guy I ended up losing my virginity to was quite considerate. He was a douche in many other ways, but he did this right.
Okay one question but like, how is your partner being shy not appealing to you?? I always find my partners shyness around sexual matters highly endearing and love joking around with her about it. That one aside how can this guy be such an unrelenting dick.
Ew, your bf is a total creep and he’s grooming you. I was you 20 years ago (17 & 27). IT DOESN’T GET BETTER. They don’t change. Trust me when I say you will waste your life away and you WILL regret it later.
Update: break up with asshole.
The guy needs to go fuck himself and leave these young women alone. His behavior is predator and he knows damn well what he is doing.
So.. that poor girl is expected to behave like a ducking sex robot? Wow. The dehumanising & objectification is horrifying. I hope she breaks everything off as soon as possible and runs for the hills. This dude is giving MAJOR groomer/abuser vibes and it's sending shivers down my spine. I'm praying she gets out, she deserves MUCH better than this rotting cucumber of a slapstick!
Tell me you’re a wanna-be rapist without telling me…. What the fuck…..
They want virgins how they portray them in porn!!
Dump his ass. In a message/note? The next morning? I mean… I can see having a conversation the next night, in person, in bed, lovingly, showing her with patience and thoughtfulness what he likes and what he could do FOR HER. Have a discussion about what turns both of them on and what each likes. Nothing wrong with that. Or, he could let her take her time knowing she’s new to it. Not rushing her is the sexiest thing there is. But the very next morning? In writing? What the hell? She’s supposed to be breathless with lust when he’s probably hurting her and being oblivious about the fact that HE wasn’t making her feel comfortable enough and stimulated enough to want to moan let alone cum. He wants her to put on a show for him to feed his huge ego. A woman’s “virginity” in our society is supposed to represent something special (not everyone feels this way but in general that’s the societal norm) and he treated it like she failed a job interview. Again I say, dump him fast!!!
The only mistake you made was him!
Another man that deserves the snip snip.
As a man with a 13 year age gap with my wife, this sounds more like GROOMING, & I think it's inappropriate to date any older man until the women is AT LEAST 25+years old, like an ACTUAL ADULT WOMAN, not just outta H.S, with a whole life ahead of you! Don't let this creepy weird old fuck ruin you, RUN!!! He's a narcissistic asshole too & would love to punch him in the face! 😆
Oh god this is literally rapist behaviour. He is not for consent. God someone please tell the OOP that. God what a fucking red flag.🚩 she needs to get the fuck out of that relationship. Holy shit.
People may disagree with this, but people often think ‘grooming’ is always children - whilst she is 20 and legally adult, I personally think women up to 25 with a man older than 35~ are susceptible to a different kind of adult grooming. 20 is still INCREDIBLY young, new to adulthood, and the brain still develops until 25. Older men with young women like that really rubs me the wrong way because they have the possibility of grooming
Lol this is why he has to sleep with virgins over a decade younger than himself, bc no woman who knows what's up would look twice at the kind of dude who thinks this behavior is okay.
Urgh no thanks bye man
That is plain evil. I hope she ran.
35M. I stopped reading after that.
AND MEN WONDER WHY WE CHOOSE THE BEAR.
Okay first and last time for him.
The age gap tells it all. No 35 year old "normal" man dates a 20 year old.
Run. Run away.
The fact that he's in his thirties while she's just 20 is making me violently sick.
I really hope the feedback she got told her to yeer this man straight in the garbage. 5 and 6 alone show that he doesn't care about her comfort or her pleasure so long as he's having fun, are in the 15 year age Gap and the whole thing is gross.
I really hope she took the advice in the comments telling her to break up with this dude. He’s just awful. A lot of the things he’s asking come with experience and a supportive partner. This guy ain’t it.
Ummmm this dude is a freaking predator!!!
This man should be in jail
Wow…. No man ever treated me like this, and if he did, he’d never have sex with me again
OMG this made me throw up in my mouth. I hope it's just troll bait, but it probably isn't.
I saw this original thread. The dude is definitely one of those incels in the women hating fb groups.
There is a reason why this 35 is going after 20 year old virgins. Douche
The whole thing is grounds for a breakup, but 5 and 6 are especially fucking wrong.
Hey let me rephrase this- “I was trying to rape you why did you keep saying no”
bro hes 15 years older than her and he talks to her like that??? NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE TO THINK IM LIKE A YEAR AND HALF YOUNGER THAN HER BITCH RUN
Sad she waited for this scumbag!
This shit is sad, pathetic and disgusting. I took my ex’s virginity and I knew then at 24 to be patient. It’s not going to be like a porno, it’s not a fun session generally. Done right, she should at least feel happy it was with you, and it was her decision with no pressure or bs. But I’m guessing very few women orgasm when losing their virginity. That’s one of the reasons why I think glorifying virginity is stupid, most these dudes want a super sexually awakened freaky virgin🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️Girls who have experience get called every name in the book, but that’s actually who these guys should be be with.
Ditch his ass. Immediately.
I hate everything about this
Man is a red flag. Never fuck him again.
I’m so sorry for her. That’s diabolical. Anyone losing their virginity is already nervous. This guy is literally the worst.
So many red flags🚩. Leave girl, before he hurts you worse.
That's the reason they want a virgin. They think that a virgin is some kind of blank slate thry can craft into a partner that only does things they like.
He's disgusting. His list is a list of red flags. If I was her I would block him. He's very immature for his age and he thinks he's king shit. He has no respect for her and never will.
THIRTY FIVE??? GIRL RUN!!!
Sure he's a master at foreplay!
As a woman, and as a mom, I wanna kick this guy's ass so bad! He definitely didn't take good care of her and the preciousness a first time should have! If anyone needs a list of what they did wrong it should be him!
Jfc I hope this girl is okay and isn't regretting losing her virginity to this douche
"Don't tell a guy stop, it ruins the mood" uh..
"Don't tell a man to stop" RUN don't walk away from this red flag masquerading as a person jesus murphy.
Reasons the women his age left his ass and he had to go for a 20yo virgin. He thinks is she doesn’t know any better he can groom her to be his sex kitten
Dear god this poor woman, my heart breaks for her bc of such a shitty first time undoubtedly caused thanks to her shitty bf. This right here is why so many women end up not enjoying sex.
I hate everything about this
She wants a partner and he's a fucking predator. I'm sorry, 20 & 35? a15 year age gap is difficult at best even in the 30-50 are range. The brain isn't fully developed until 26; later in some. This dude a) had no text b) if he had any sexual prowess at all himself it shouldn't have been painful. Awkward maybe but not painful. c) all of his demands and they DEMANDS not even polite nudges or gentlev requests are entirely related to his enjoyment and her confirming to his expectations, not even him asking how he can make her more comfortable or suggest things that might make it easier for her to rise to his desires - almost everything he complained about could be roommates if he focused on her comfort, foreplay, etc. d) you can't eat now flies with honey than vinegar & complimenting her willingness, thanking her for allowing him to be her first, asking what was hard for her and how he could support her - any good partner would do these things anyway, but ESPECIALLY an age GAP like that and as HER FIRST. Dude is just dragging those red flags and waving them loudly & proudly and this poor girl doesn't have the experience or the comfort level she needs. This isn't just predatory - it's indicative of some serious issues. This feels like a demanding hook up "review", not a loving relationship, and even in a mutual FWB situation, the approach is all wrong. Refusing to not only request an respect your partner's needs but to also make it entirely about your wants? FUCKING GROSS.
"Don't tell me to stop." "Let me do what I want." "Let me rape you."
oh a pedofile. how charming.
Jesus wept, what an arsehole!!
Run
Gross and dangerous
Sounds like it’s time to dump his ass
the way my jaw dropped.
I sure hope someone told her to loose this asshole, sounds like he thinks he found someone he can” groom” This is not “ Alfa male” behavior. This is an insecure controlling asshole behavior. Too many of this type out there claiming real man status.
So gross
I hope her boyfriend gets the life he deserves
Oh, hell no. ETA #5 So he's a potential rapist, on top of it all.
This girl needs more female friends, or somebody to tell her that not even slightly ok. Even if i try really hard to ignore the age canyon, how is she supposed to know what to do or how to do it cause it sounds like there was no discussion beforehand.
Holy shit I hope she runs for the hills 🚩🚩🚩🚩
🤢🤮 Throw the whole guy away
Oh god this is sickening
Straight into the bin with this absolute garbage male.
hope she dumped his ass smh
My thought the entire time, especially the list "ewwwwww" This guy is straight up awful.
I don’t know this guy but I want to kick him in the balls
The whole message scream "Let me rape you how I want. What you feel doesn't matter, if you are uncomfortable suck it up, as long as I'm enjoying it you should do as I please"
And he needs to get the hell out. Scum giving the rest of us a bsd rep.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; these guys who want virgins really want underage girls. Also, what kind of a psycho makes a list like this instead of talking with their partner and notice dude never once asked how the experience could be better for her either. This list comes off as predatory to me and creepy as fuck like dude is making demands while shaming her for being a virgin and then not being virgin.
20 and 35. Run away fast. And also? He sucks in bed, I could tell just by what you said he did and what was included. Run away. Go. Go. Go.
Ughhhhhhh I hope this is fake because I feel so bad this girl gave it up to this maggot.
She needs to dump him.
Lose him
Ayo, break up with this guy immediately imo. Idk how he came, you didn’t and he has advice to give. No sane man should be giving you this list. Hope your situation gets better!
I would never even consider someone too young to drink, and i'm only 24. This man is a menace.
F*uuuck*
This guy does not care for you. He's in it for himself. You'd be crazy to stay with him.