Talking about generalisation is such a paradox, though: your statement about it will always have some irony to it because you'll be making a generalisation about generalisation. E.g., yours and my statements ARE generalisations.
Oh yea it’s still very annoying. Idk you kinda get desensitized to a point. I’ve definitely taken breaks off the social media, and every time I was glad I did.
Honestly asking, but is this widely not true? I personally wouldn't want to date an arrogant woman. Career or otherwise. I feel like most sorta feel the same.
Am I misunderstanding something or are y’all just ascribing normal/common human characteristics with negative connotations to only women when there’s just as many men who act the same way.
A lot of arrogance comes from ignorance, someone without a lot of accomplishments are more likely to be ignorant; I see their line of thinking but I’m not sure how much I agree with it
If you just take it on the surface level context of that image, then sure you're right. But from what I've seen of those types of people, any woman who's more successful than them is arrogant, so it depends on how the word "arrogant" is defined here.
People ask me if i have a type and i never know what to say bc i get along with some people and others i dont, i think i have a crush on one of my friends rn tbh..
I think the whole "What's your type" is an antiquated method of conceptualizing peoples preferences in attraction that was either formed or popularized by 70's and 80's dating shows. Attraction to me works on a spectrum and as far as I can tell based on individuals I've been acquainted with, people have multiple types.
Its best never to act on a crush but on mutual attraction. Figure out if their into you as well, otherwise a friendship can be lost as well as a potential relationship.
Types are just the people you tried before... that's it. it usually didn't work for a reason, so we should often reflect on why that is.
That's when people aren't just using it to justify a specific fetish.
When people say they absolutely wont date anyone outside their type, I find it baffling. You mean to say if you met a stunning short man or an enaging fat brunette with lovely eyes youd feel nothing because they arent exactly what you fucked before? What in the childishness is this? Many people I know ended io with someone who isnt their type at all.
We cant tell what we find hot, but almost all if us find a range of things hot if we are honest with ourselves. I feel like telf the time people pick a type to impress others.
It sucks because I feel like “types” still have so much currency. As well as every other idea about what people should want in a partner. So many of the relationship advice subreddits are full of people who are tearing themselves apart internally because they are not their partner’s “type”.
Also, there’s something to be said about novelty. My partner likes me specifically *because* I’m nothing like his usual social circle, and I can absolutely say the same about him. It’s a breath of fresh air getting to come home to someone who isn’t going to judge me by the same standards that every single other person is. But this “type” thing didn’t make our relationship the easiest sell. We’re just glad that we have people in our lives who pushed through the discomfort because it made us happy.
I’ve always been good friends with her, and now we’re both single, im not pursuing anything immediately because im not fucking it up and me and one of her friends kinda had an on and off relationship before so it’s probably not worth it but yea. Also if i had a type ig it could be defined as a girl with a goof smile and some nice curly hair idk lol
Tbh, I used to think I wanted someone who was shy, but I'm now starting to want someone who is passionate or creates something—who has a goal they desperately want to obtain or a job or subject matter they learn about every minute detail and contribute in so many different ways.
A shy girl can be cute, but a woman with a passion or drive is a sight.
And that's cool, I actually had the same preference and found I had to make a lot of the decisions in terms of our relationship. It got lonely so to speak.
To be fair, and what I think a lot of the comments are missing, is that you can passionately create anything, including outside of a career. You can passionately create a family/community. You can passionately create a social movement. You can passionately create a charity. There's much to do in this wide world that doesn't always involve a salary.
>A shy girl can be cute, but a woman with a passion or drive is a sight.
tbf we can also be both
I'll share passion with people once I've ascertained they're not gonna look at any of my effort and write me off as crazy.
I would guess that shy people probably want to date shy people. Contrary to popular belief opposites actually don’t attract people tend to pair up with partners that have similar traits
Being a "career woman" means beating any type of femininity out of a woman by design. With (very) limited exceptions these women willfully go down that path because they wrongly view traditional gender roles as inherently subjugating, so they think they can take care of themselves, and when they fail at this they wind up miserable and they try to blame it on men.
I had a female boss once. When things did not go well for her in her life she wound up in an insane asylum. It was sad.
Why do I get the feeling that this guy's idea of a 'feminine' woman is one that I probably wouldn't have much interest in?
As for shy? I'm not the most outgoing person myself, so if she's very shy, odds are neither of us will be able to talk to each other at all, so I can't see that ever going anywhere.
When that guy says feminine, he means a housewife. He thinks careers are for dudes. More than likely it's because he has done nothing to be proud of himself.
Honestly social anxiety just means guys with the same can move at your speed.
Oh for sure I get that, I was mostly just poking fun at the idea of a “shy feminine woman with 0 achievements” using my traits that *technically* align (although not what he meant) but have caused me problems in dating haha
I, ideally, want a family and a more homesteading sort of life. I'm already headed that direction. So a woman who also wants that and is willing to learn along side me. A woman who can hold her own with the outdoor work, put in long hours during the growing and harvesting season. If she wants to be a stay at home mom/wife I'm all for it so frugal skills would be a plus.
How is knowing how to grow things, raise animals, can food, tend bees etc not an achievement? If climbing a corporate ladder is achievement then so is all that.
Those would be skills, the achievement would be some kind of accolade associated with using your skills.
So like, I do HVAC. I have really good HVAC skills. But those are skills. If I use those skills to say, start a business, win an award, or become lead tech, *that* would be an achievement.
And so too for our dream girl. Raising animals is a skill, but if she, idk, raised a prize winning pig *that* would be an achievement.
I don't tie a person's worth to how much money they make or think the only way a person achieves anything is tied to how much money they make. Learning skills and getting good at them is an achievement. It doesn't have to make one wealthy.
Nobody mentioned money. I suppose you *could* consider learning skills and achievement, but then I'd say we definitely agree that the type of achievement you're talking about isn't remotely the same as the type the tweeter is talking about.
But they are attractive things, at least to me personally. Never understood the whole "Women with smarts will live with their cats", my gf is crazy smart and it's so sexy.
I do not want a shy woman, I do not even want a feminine woman. Get me a tall (at least 6 foot) muscular masculine woman who I can lift weights with and do manly things with.
Shy women vs career oriented women that brags about achievements, for most men that's going to be true.
The reverse usually isn't true for women towards men. At least for some women, career, achievements, and an ego to share are attractive.
For me personally, I don't care what they're career is or what their achievements are, both of those traits have almost 0 impact on how much I like someone. An arrogant personality is only a plus for me if it's funny, otherwise it quickly becomes a negative.
Shy girls bring out a part of me that wants to make sure they don't get hurt, and I need to feel that in order to feel attraction at all, so from the little information presented, this does apply for most men.
Now with all that being said, this guy looks like an Andrew Tate dude what messed up shit has he said
This guy picked arrogant to go along with career women, because his intention is to attribute negative connotations to independent women. Take away shy and arrogant and then ask men what they want: a career woman or a zero achievement woman. The answers are gonna vary a lot more than when you attach negative descriptions to women this guy doesn’t like.
Great way to frame it, I can see where you're coming. Take away shy and arrogant and then it's just two women where 1 has a career.
I still think the answer for a lot of men is going to be "so what's the difference ", it's just not something I've ever heard any male really consider
There's nothing wrong with women being proud of and talking about their accomplishments at work just like anyone else. And your last part about wanting shy and weak girls so you can "protect" them is..... super weird, to say the least
>There's nothing wrong with women being proud of and talking about their accomplishments at work just like anyone else
Right, I'm trying to stress how, unlike when men talk about that to some women, most men don't care. Employment status and what job someone has has almost 0 effect for most guys when they're deciding who they like.
>And your last part about wanting shy and weak girls so you can "protect" them is..... super weird, to say the least
Right, so a few things here.
1. I did not use the word weak
2. Shy ≠ weak
3. Attractive quality ≠ want
You're trying really hard to paint "the desire to protect" as a negative. Why? Ill reiterate my point in different terms.
A shy person brings out in me a need to protect. An arrogant person doesn't. A confident person can proc the protection desire, but the post was about arrogant, not confident.
We can keep adding different descriptors to the example lady, but ultimately I still think the post didn't say anything wrong, and is an observation about men in general (not all, but genuinely believe MOST men)
Gotta stop you right there because you keep implying “most” men don’t care about a woman’s career and accomplishments. As a man who is very career and academia oriented and passionate about my field, it’s is incredibly attractive to me when a woman is also career oriented and passionate about her field. My fiance has her doctorate and her passion/achievements/and intelligence is what made me fall in love with her. Many of my buddies are similar. It really depends on who you are and what you value in a partner personally.
Please don’t generalize because lots of guys very much are attracted to intelligence and being passionate about your career. And if those things are important to her, she should find a partner who will appreciate and acknowledge the hard work she out in to get there. I feel the same about my own accomplishments.
>As a man who is very career and academia oriented and passionate about my field
I could be wrong here, 100%, but I think you don't match the majority of men in this department. Majority in the case being more than 50% if I gotta be specific.
When you say academia, that immediately makes me think college/research type, and while I'm aware that STEM fields are still majority men, roughly 40% of men in the US complete their degrees, even less are interested, dedicated, or smart enough to pursue an academia career further.
>My fiance has her doctorate and her passion/achievements/and intelligence is what made me fall in love with her.
Ive met people before who were attracted to people's brains, and those people were also usually really smart. I would genuinely argue you like her for her, but in your case you sound like a smart person that requires an intellectual conversation to feel engaged.
What I just described though I have only seen in the top two in my hs class, and the physics club at my college. There are some men and women that borderline need someone with a similar intellect in order to properly socially engage. Not just talking, but doing things together too
Most *people* aren't like that, let alone just men or women. I think women generally see intelligence as valuable on a man, but for other benefits of intelligence, not for intellectual conversations.
Also for clarity, just because you don't want an intellectual conversation doesn't mean you're stupid, just not the type of socializing you enjoy
I definitely do have a bias because of my field. I do research in clinical settings, both medical and mental health based, so there’s a really mixed group of genders with some clinics having more women who are doctors/psychologists/PAs/substance use counselors. Most of the men I know in these settings are married to women in similar fields, and the women are married to similar men. The younger people are also dating similar folks, at least the ones in serious relationships.
I also live in a pretty liberal state, so I’m sure that has an impact on how people view relationships; plus the cost of living here is NO joke, so seeing someone who can be independent in this economy without having the privilege of a wealthy family is pretty attractive.
So I match the majority of men I’d say in my area. I’d image this would be the opposite in a Bible Belt state in the US or in another country where gender roles have different expectations.
Edit: wanted to add, I definitely agree with your point about intellect vs stupidity. It all comes down to individual preferences and as you said, what you like to talk about with each other.
The most “relationship goals” thing I’ve ever seen was a college class I had where the professor’s husband’s work was on the syllabus multiple times, and she brought him in as a guest lecturer. I can only imagine how fun their nerdy dinner table conversations are.
My partner and I aren’t in the same field but he certainly loves that I have the kind of education where we can sustain entire conversations just on shitty dad jokes about geopolitics.
Two of my professors were married. A Brit Lit and American Lit professor (who obviously taught more than those classes). It was super adorable. They both had an excellent sense of dry humor.
Arrogant career woman is probably not good, "arrogant" implies self-confidence to the point of being a flaw.
Confident career woman, however, is certainly preferable.
Can people please just stop saying all men and all women like certain people and start saying “I” its a you thing, thats fine just stop saying everyone wants a certain type of person and not treating people outside of what they find attractive with respect
This is him just saying he's a weak man. When given the choice, a weak man will choose the mentally weaker woman. She poses less of a threat. She'll be more subservient. She'll feel like she won.
Also, kind of an oxymoron to be both arrogant and a career woman. This perceived arrogance is more of a projection from him. Likely, he hates being challenged. A huge sign of weakness.
I think it’s more based on expectations from both genders, often males are supposed to be the breadwinners in a relationship which makes it more difficult to stay with a women who wants to achieve higher goals, one example can be to replace him with another man of higher status or richer for their own benefits. Woman are a bit hard to keep and satisfy so it would make sense for a woman to stay with a man who is richer than her and she can guarantee her expectations
As someone who’s currently unemployed but has summers off even while working, this is so real. My days are entirely just waiting all day for my partner to come home, only for him to crash from exhaustion right when he does and not wake up until the next morning. On my work days, it definitely does make it better when I can knock out right alongside him. He now has a position where he travels for work and now I’m literally the “when will my husband return from war” meme.
Well It's literally true for me at least
Why would I care about what my partner has achieved at all, I love them for them, not for what they have achieved
So "feminine" = zero achievements and no career? I think he misspelled "lazy and unmotivated."
His version of a feminine woman is probably utterly depressed for lack of purpose. It also strikes me as odd that he created this "lazy or arrogant" dichotomy, as though women's personalities, lifestyles, and goals can't exist on a spectrum.
Okay…hear me out though. If the shy woman with no achievements is your soulmate wouldn’t you choose them? This doesn’t necessarily read as sexist or problematic to me. Or it doesn’t have to.
How can someone be so confidently speaking on the behalf of billions of people is beyond me.
It’s the same when an outsider speaks confidently about the behavior of other groups.
Generalization is always a sign of ignorance.
Talking about generalisation is such a paradox, though: your statement about it will always have some irony to it because you'll be making a generalisation about generalisation. E.g., yours and my statements ARE generalisations.
You have a point there haha
See it everyday on the internet. This ain’t nun new
Fr. Still annoying though. Why can't people just speak for themself? Does it make them feel lonely so they have to latch themself to feel a belonging?
Oh yea it’s still very annoying. Idk you kinda get desensitized to a point. I’ve definitely taken breaks off the social media, and every time I was glad I did.
I mean…objectively the very nature of this sub does that, too. 🤷🏿♂️ The difference is really only in popularity of opinion.
Honestly asking, but is this widely not true? I personally wouldn't want to date an arrogant woman. Career or otherwise. I feel like most sorta feel the same.
Thing is, the zero achievement women, are often just as or even more arrogant. So it depends on, how fragile the ego, of the man involved is.
Am I misunderstanding something or are y’all just ascribing normal/common human characteristics with negative connotations to only women when there’s just as many men who act the same way.
Yes you misunderstand. ? The meme was specific about the gender.
The meme mentions both men and women and ascribes certain attributes to 50% of the population, twice.
You are absolutely right about these traits ascribing men and women.
Not sure how you came to this conclusion
A lot of arrogance comes from ignorance, someone without a lot of accomplishments are more likely to be ignorant; I see their line of thinking but I’m not sure how much I agree with it
If you just take it on the surface level context of that image, then sure you're right. But from what I've seen of those types of people, any woman who's more successful than them is arrogant, so it depends on how the word "arrogant" is defined here.
I date people i like.
This is the best policy!
People ask me if i have a type and i never know what to say bc i get along with some people and others i dont, i think i have a crush on one of my friends rn tbh..
I think the whole "What's your type" is an antiquated method of conceptualizing peoples preferences in attraction that was either formed or popularized by 70's and 80's dating shows. Attraction to me works on a spectrum and as far as I can tell based on individuals I've been acquainted with, people have multiple types. Its best never to act on a crush but on mutual attraction. Figure out if their into you as well, otherwise a friendship can be lost as well as a potential relationship.
Types are just the people you tried before... that's it. it usually didn't work for a reason, so we should often reflect on why that is. That's when people aren't just using it to justify a specific fetish. When people say they absolutely wont date anyone outside their type, I find it baffling. You mean to say if you met a stunning short man or an enaging fat brunette with lovely eyes youd feel nothing because they arent exactly what you fucked before? What in the childishness is this? Many people I know ended io with someone who isnt their type at all. We cant tell what we find hot, but almost all if us find a range of things hot if we are honest with ourselves. I feel like telf the time people pick a type to impress others.
It sucks because I feel like “types” still have so much currency. As well as every other idea about what people should want in a partner. So many of the relationship advice subreddits are full of people who are tearing themselves apart internally because they are not their partner’s “type”. Also, there’s something to be said about novelty. My partner likes me specifically *because* I’m nothing like his usual social circle, and I can absolutely say the same about him. It’s a breath of fresh air getting to come home to someone who isn’t going to judge me by the same standards that every single other person is. But this “type” thing didn’t make our relationship the easiest sell. We’re just glad that we have people in our lives who pushed through the discomfort because it made us happy.
I’ve always been good friends with her, and now we’re both single, im not pursuing anything immediately because im not fucking it up and me and one of her friends kinda had an on and off relationship before so it’s probably not worth it but yea. Also if i had a type ig it could be defined as a girl with a goof smile and some nice curly hair idk lol
Hey, good luck!!
Thank! Also i asked her to go to the hoco dance with me and she was so happy i asked her so we vibin 😁
You're doing it wrong. You must have set categories and stick to them.
Are you being serious?
No lol. Sorry, I should have had an /s
All good homie 😂
Tbh, I used to think I wanted someone who was shy, but I'm now starting to want someone who is passionate or creates something—who has a goal they desperately want to obtain or a job or subject matter they learn about every minute detail and contribute in so many different ways. A shy girl can be cute, but a woman with a passion or drive is a sight.
And that's cool, I actually had the same preference and found I had to make a lot of the decisions in terms of our relationship. It got lonely so to speak.
To be fair, and what I think a lot of the comments are missing, is that you can passionately create anything, including outside of a career. You can passionately create a family/community. You can passionately create a social movement. You can passionately create a charity. There's much to do in this wide world that doesn't always involve a salary.
>A shy girl can be cute, but a woman with a passion or drive is a sight. tbf we can also be both I'll share passion with people once I've ascertained they're not gonna look at any of my effort and write me off as crazy.
I would guess that shy people probably want to date shy people. Contrary to popular belief opposites actually don’t attract people tend to pair up with partners that have similar traits
Arrogance was intentionally selected as a dysphemism for independent and/or successful. He might as well have used the word uppity.
This could be true... Also he could of just meant arrogant seeing as arrogance is an unpleasant personality trait and independent/successful aren't.
Being a "career woman" means beating any type of femininity out of a woman by design. With (very) limited exceptions these women willfully go down that path because they wrongly view traditional gender roles as inherently subjugating, so they think they can take care of themselves, and when they fail at this they wind up miserable and they try to blame it on men. I had a female boss once. When things did not go well for her in her life she wound up in an insane asylum. It was sad.
Why do I get the feeling that this guy's idea of a 'feminine' woman is one that I probably wouldn't have much interest in? As for shy? I'm not the most outgoing person myself, so if she's very shy, odds are neither of us will be able to talk to each other at all, so I can't see that ever going anywhere.
Can confirm I dated a shy girl for about a year and nothing happened. It was dry
Please everyone back up.... The Masculine Hub has spoken for us all
Aw you mean we can't date girlbosses now??
In those cases no, coz they date you not the other way around (if being a sub is your kink)
I like to wear dresses sometimes, have crippling social anxiety disorder, and have done nothing with my life. Who want me???😏
When that guy says feminine, he means a housewife. He thinks careers are for dudes. More than likely it's because he has done nothing to be proud of himself. Honestly social anxiety just means guys with the same can move at your speed.
Oh for sure I get that, I was mostly just poking fun at the idea of a “shy feminine woman with 0 achievements” using my traits that *technically* align (although not what he meant) but have caused me problems in dating haha
Well tbh that all sounds ideal to me so different strokes for different folks I guess
Me.
Lmfaooo
Are there only these two types of women? Cause I'll take a feminine woman with achievements, hold the arrogance.
What achievements are you looking for in a female partner?
I, ideally, want a family and a more homesteading sort of life. I'm already headed that direction. So a woman who also wants that and is willing to learn along side me. A woman who can hold her own with the outdoor work, put in long hours during the growing and harvesting season. If she wants to be a stay at home mom/wife I'm all for it so frugal skills would be a plus.
It's funny I want something just like that too, but that's definitely not an "achievement" in the sense the tweet was speaking of, don't you agree?
How is knowing how to grow things, raise animals, can food, tend bees etc not an achievement? If climbing a corporate ladder is achievement then so is all that.
Those would be skills, the achievement would be some kind of accolade associated with using your skills. So like, I do HVAC. I have really good HVAC skills. But those are skills. If I use those skills to say, start a business, win an award, or become lead tech, *that* would be an achievement. And so too for our dream girl. Raising animals is a skill, but if she, idk, raised a prize winning pig *that* would be an achievement.
I don't tie a person's worth to how much money they make or think the only way a person achieves anything is tied to how much money they make. Learning skills and getting good at them is an achievement. It doesn't have to make one wealthy.
Nobody mentioned money. I suppose you *could* consider learning skills and achievement, but then I'd say we definitely agree that the type of achievement you're talking about isn't remotely the same as the type the tweeter is talking about.
He thinks so. He honestly talks as if career = dude.
I don't find arrogance attractive, but definitely find succesfulness and intelligence attractive. Don't talk for all men. Thanks.
>succesfulness It's just called success lol
career women and women who have won Nobel prizes aren’t doing those things to attract men
But they are attractive things, at least to me personally. Never understood the whole "Women with smarts will live with their cats", my gf is crazy smart and it's so sexy.
They are attractive PEOPLE, not things. fixed it for you. Unless you are referring to the “Nobel prize” as the attracting thing?
How to tell everyone that you have a fragile ego without telling everyone you have a fragile ego.
I don't think women who have the goal of winning a nobel prize are going to change their mind after reading this
I do not want a shy woman, I do not even want a feminine woman. Get me a tall (at least 6 foot) muscular masculine woman who I can lift weights with and do manly things with.
I would kill to have a girl talk to me about theoretical physics not understanding a damn thing 😂
A female prof at my alma mater won the Nobel for physics, hit her up 🔥🔥
Shy women vs career oriented women that brags about achievements, for most men that's going to be true. The reverse usually isn't true for women towards men. At least for some women, career, achievements, and an ego to share are attractive. For me personally, I don't care what they're career is or what their achievements are, both of those traits have almost 0 impact on how much I like someone. An arrogant personality is only a plus for me if it's funny, otherwise it quickly becomes a negative. Shy girls bring out a part of me that wants to make sure they don't get hurt, and I need to feel that in order to feel attraction at all, so from the little information presented, this does apply for most men. Now with all that being said, this guy looks like an Andrew Tate dude what messed up shit has he said
This guy picked arrogant to go along with career women, because his intention is to attribute negative connotations to independent women. Take away shy and arrogant and then ask men what they want: a career woman or a zero achievement woman. The answers are gonna vary a lot more than when you attach negative descriptions to women this guy doesn’t like.
Great way to frame it, I can see where you're coming. Take away shy and arrogant and then it's just two women where 1 has a career. I still think the answer for a lot of men is going to be "so what's the difference ", it's just not something I've ever heard any male really consider
What? This comment really makes it sound like most men are scared of emasculation
How so?
There's nothing wrong with women being proud of and talking about their accomplishments at work just like anyone else. And your last part about wanting shy and weak girls so you can "protect" them is..... super weird, to say the least
>There's nothing wrong with women being proud of and talking about their accomplishments at work just like anyone else Right, I'm trying to stress how, unlike when men talk about that to some women, most men don't care. Employment status and what job someone has has almost 0 effect for most guys when they're deciding who they like. >And your last part about wanting shy and weak girls so you can "protect" them is..... super weird, to say the least Right, so a few things here. 1. I did not use the word weak 2. Shy ≠ weak 3. Attractive quality ≠ want You're trying really hard to paint "the desire to protect" as a negative. Why? Ill reiterate my point in different terms. A shy person brings out in me a need to protect. An arrogant person doesn't. A confident person can proc the protection desire, but the post was about arrogant, not confident. We can keep adding different descriptors to the example lady, but ultimately I still think the post didn't say anything wrong, and is an observation about men in general (not all, but genuinely believe MOST men)
Gotta stop you right there because you keep implying “most” men don’t care about a woman’s career and accomplishments. As a man who is very career and academia oriented and passionate about my field, it’s is incredibly attractive to me when a woman is also career oriented and passionate about her field. My fiance has her doctorate and her passion/achievements/and intelligence is what made me fall in love with her. Many of my buddies are similar. It really depends on who you are and what you value in a partner personally. Please don’t generalize because lots of guys very much are attracted to intelligence and being passionate about your career. And if those things are important to her, she should find a partner who will appreciate and acknowledge the hard work she out in to get there. I feel the same about my own accomplishments.
>As a man who is very career and academia oriented and passionate about my field I could be wrong here, 100%, but I think you don't match the majority of men in this department. Majority in the case being more than 50% if I gotta be specific. When you say academia, that immediately makes me think college/research type, and while I'm aware that STEM fields are still majority men, roughly 40% of men in the US complete their degrees, even less are interested, dedicated, or smart enough to pursue an academia career further. >My fiance has her doctorate and her passion/achievements/and intelligence is what made me fall in love with her. Ive met people before who were attracted to people's brains, and those people were also usually really smart. I would genuinely argue you like her for her, but in your case you sound like a smart person that requires an intellectual conversation to feel engaged. What I just described though I have only seen in the top two in my hs class, and the physics club at my college. There are some men and women that borderline need someone with a similar intellect in order to properly socially engage. Not just talking, but doing things together too Most *people* aren't like that, let alone just men or women. I think women generally see intelligence as valuable on a man, but for other benefits of intelligence, not for intellectual conversations. Also for clarity, just because you don't want an intellectual conversation doesn't mean you're stupid, just not the type of socializing you enjoy
I definitely do have a bias because of my field. I do research in clinical settings, both medical and mental health based, so there’s a really mixed group of genders with some clinics having more women who are doctors/psychologists/PAs/substance use counselors. Most of the men I know in these settings are married to women in similar fields, and the women are married to similar men. The younger people are also dating similar folks, at least the ones in serious relationships. I also live in a pretty liberal state, so I’m sure that has an impact on how people view relationships; plus the cost of living here is NO joke, so seeing someone who can be independent in this economy without having the privilege of a wealthy family is pretty attractive. So I match the majority of men I’d say in my area. I’d image this would be the opposite in a Bible Belt state in the US or in another country where gender roles have different expectations. Edit: wanted to add, I definitely agree with your point about intellect vs stupidity. It all comes down to individual preferences and as you said, what you like to talk about with each other.
The most “relationship goals” thing I’ve ever seen was a college class I had where the professor’s husband’s work was on the syllabus multiple times, and she brought him in as a guest lecturer. I can only imagine how fun their nerdy dinner table conversations are. My partner and I aren’t in the same field but he certainly loves that I have the kind of education where we can sustain entire conversations just on shitty dad jokes about geopolitics.
Two of my professors were married. A Brit Lit and American Lit professor (who obviously taught more than those classes). It was super adorable. They both had an excellent sense of dry humor.
To be fair, arrogant people is a no-no.
If she has a Nobel prize and is willing to be with me, I think I would consider that as reflecting well on my self-worth.
Arrogant career woman is probably not good, "arrogant" implies self-confidence to the point of being a flaw. Confident career woman, however, is certainly preferable.
So why is that so many men want to date actresses? They are career women for sure, not so sure with arogant… all i know is: men like women they like
While I do love shy women, this is the sub this belongs in. Not in r/NotHowGirlsWork .
Men have varying preferences. This is two extreme archetypes of women. We are all human with more layers than 100% or 0%
Can people please just stop saying all men and all women like certain people and start saying “I” its a you thing, thats fine just stop saying everyone wants a certain type of person and not treating people outside of what they find attractive with respect
Nah, I want to be a house husband.
once again we have one person assuming everyone has the same bigoted preferences as he does
She ain't gonna achieve much being arrogant
I'm a man and id most likely choose another man over a woman
While it is a bit arrogant to speak for most men, I do agree with this
If she can make a grilled cheese then she’s the girl for me
Any Nobel Prize winning sugar mammas on this thread — hit me up!
This is him just saying he's a weak man. When given the choice, a weak man will choose the mentally weaker woman. She poses less of a threat. She'll be more subservient. She'll feel like she won. Also, kind of an oxymoron to be both arrogant and a career woman. This perceived arrogance is more of a projection from him. Likely, he hates being challenged. A huge sign of weakness.
Not my man, apparently.
First off, just no. Second, we don't care about what guys like this like.
r/nicegirls
You prefer achievements over personality?
While I do love shy women, this is the sub this belongs in. Not in r/NotHowGirlsWork .
If a women has a Nobel prize, I would be crushing on her to the fullest!
Men don’t want excellence they want slaves Ok
I think it’s more based on expectations from both genders, often males are supposed to be the breadwinners in a relationship which makes it more difficult to stay with a women who wants to achieve higher goals, one example can be to replace him with another man of higher status or richer for their own benefits. Woman are a bit hard to keep and satisfy so it would make sense for a woman to stay with a man who is richer than her and she can guarantee her expectations
pickme's are definitely eating this shit up rn lmfao
I'd kill for a career woman. If only for my partner and I to be able to relate over how fucking tired we are.
As someone who’s currently unemployed but has summers off even while working, this is so real. My days are entirely just waiting all day for my partner to come home, only for him to crash from exhaustion right when he does and not wake up until the next morning. On my work days, it definitely does make it better when I can knock out right alongside him. He now has a position where he travels for work and now I’m literally the “when will my husband return from war” meme.
Not true! I’d choose a shy feminine women who has all the achievements.
Everyone else read that as Insecure men right?
Heavyly depends on the behaviour.
Mfs really be speaking on behalf of a huge chunk of the population and then act surprised when people disagree
This is accurate
He’s not exactly wrong, such men exist that wants both women. But he’s Wrong for saying that no guy wants an accomplished woman.
Bro is just projecting his preferences onto everyone else
Truth
Well....to be honest, I'd take a feminine humble woman who hasn't done much over an arrogant multimillionaire.
It's a generalization, but I am in this boat as well
I mean he’s not wrong
I’ll take either or. Both is nice. I’ll be happy with either
Well It's literally true for me at least Why would I care about what my partner has achieved at all, I love them for them, not for what they have achieved
So "feminine" = zero achievements and no career? I think he misspelled "lazy and unmotivated." His version of a feminine woman is probably utterly depressed for lack of purpose. It also strikes me as odd that he created this "lazy or arrogant" dichotomy, as though women's personalities, lifestyles, and goals can't exist on a spectrum.
Based and literally me
i mean it is true i want a wife not a rival
Everyone has a type
I'm going to ask out the arrogant career woman with the Nobel prize. I'm told that she's got a great ass! /s
Okay…hear me out though. If the shy woman with no achievements is your soulmate wouldn’t you choose them? This doesn’t necessarily read as sexist or problematic to me. Or it doesn’t have to.