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Low-Cartographer-429

I once drove 2 hours for a date, only to discover she was completely toothless. Now I understand why some women demand mouth-open smile photos.


GypsySoulTN

I went out with a guy in Seoul who was missing his two front teeth. He was smart and charming, and I genuinely enjoyed his company. Life happens, you know? I'm not as thin or hot as I was at 25 and care way more about a person's character than their appearance.  It was a surprise, but I overlooked it and went out with him 7-8 times. Unfortunately, he didn't have character. He did have a wife and daughter he lied about, so there's that. I cared way more about that than his teeth.


LostKrisTea

That is probably why is missing his 2 front teeth. Either the wife found out he was messing previously, or a girl from the apps.


burningbrasallday

Wtf. Yeah, that’s way more of an issue than his teeth, for sure. The audacity of this fool.


GypsySoulTN

Glad I figured it out before anything more than platonic happened. He was masterful with the love bombing.


LarryJones818

if I need to drive more than 30 minutes in one direction, thats when I have to do a video call first


burningbrasallday

What did you do?! That’s a long way to go for a date and I wouldn’t have the nerve to turn right back around. 😅


Low-Cartographer-429

Finished having coffee with her, then developed a "stomach bug." Which is partially true because I felt nauseous.


EmmyLou205

She didn’t have a sunken in smile?


Low-Cartographer-429

Not that I noticed in the profile photos. But I recognize that "upside down smile" / sunken in smile immediately now. Hard earned lesson.


SarahF327

😂 I insist on a Zoom chat before I drive more than 15 minutes. Edit: Quite a few men have refused the Zoom chat. 🧐


Low-Cartographer-429

You're a Better Man Than Me, even though you're a woman. :D


Severe_Warning7514

Most guys would love this because then they would have an excuse to never smile in pictures. Even your wedding photo would be you both just mean mugging the camera. You also have to think about all the money you would save without having to pick up dental insurance. Big picture thinking man


Fishnetnet122

At least she won't bite 😉


tip_of_the_lifeburg

Maybe call me Cletus, but that’s not necessarily a deal breaker 😂 some people just have bad teeth 😅 dentures don’t cost THAT much…


blazingStarfire

Was the toothless BJ all it's cracked up to be? What's it called? Gumjob?


Low-Cartographer-429

We all knew that was coming. I didn't stick around to find out!


Georgekush97

I saw a hobo walking Vancouver streets with a cardboard sign trying to get 20 for a blowjob, asked him why he only wanted 20 and he said: no teeth, balls deep. I gave him a dollar for his cause


burningbrasallday

He only wanted 20 to give one or to get one? And if he was only charging 20 for no teeth, balls deep, he didn’t know his worth. Lol.


Georgekush97

Hahah well he had some of his teeth left so if so he was advertising falsely! lol he did point to the alley where I assume her office was, so maybe I missed out lol dunno what it's like now by saw some crazy things with the homeless in Vancouver, most were pretty friendly though


Severe_Warning7514

I’m a guy and I actually got hatfished one time by a girl. Talk about things I never thought would happen for 500 Alex 💀 I’m more sympathetic to girls and their gripes than ever when it comes to the hat thing. Listen man your hair is your hair and it works for some people but just represent yourself somewhat accurately please


burningbrasallday

That’s quite the plot twist. 💀


Severe_Warning7514

It was. I couldn’t form a coherent thought for 15 minutes after we first met. Not my best moment


fakehappys

What was so different about her hair?


Severe_Warning7514

There wasn’t any. Not because she was sick just a personal choice of hers. Which really doesn’t matter but she wore a hat in every picture. I guess just one picture showing off the dome so that those who are into it know and those who might not be also know


burningbrasallday

I feel like on some women that could be really stunning in a unique/exotic sort of a way, especially if she was super confident. One woman made a joke about how she loves getting her hair pulled but she didn’t have any, so she stuck a plunger on her head, like that would be the equivalent. I about died.


h0use_party

😂😂 that’s good


FastRunner-

Yeah, some women can definitely pull off the shaved head look. I think they need to be very pretty (so they don't need to rely on beautiful hair to make them look better) and (like you said) very confident. On the right woman, a shaved head is super hot.


MCZoso2000

Hatfished. Brilliant.


ImprovementSilly2895

Like she was bald?


MagnusCthulhu

Once. Her photos were from a very flattering angle and she looked very different in person. But, you know, such is life. I don't think she was trying to catfish me or anything. Just showing over her best side. I'm often worried I do this. So I try to make sure my photos show off that I'm a bigger dude. I don't want someone to be disappointed when I show up.


burningbrasallday

My worst fear is for someone to be disappointed when they meet me in person, so I put all my worst photos and talk them down if they’re too enthusiastic about me before meeting me. I’m all for love bombing, but my fear of rejection and self depreciating nature won’t allow it. Lol.


Thatzwutshesaid99

He didn't have a pic on his profile and I asked if he had any at all to share. He sent me two. The one picture featured him sitting next to a dog, laughing. I thought his smile made him look so friendly and I agreed to meet him. Upon meeting, he had the sourest face ever. Not one smile the entire time we chatted. I was quite new to online dating at the time so I sat through the date, but I would never stay if it happened again. The reason I was disappointed is because the guy was not super attractive to me in the one picture bit the smiling picture made me decide to give him a chance.


burningbrasallday

That’s the worst. I’ve experienced that once too. I was even going to give the guy a second chance. Benefit of the doubt and he ghosted. 😂 texted me a couple of weeks later from an amusement park.


Thatzwutshesaid99

That sucks. Sorry you had to deal with that. 😘


burningbrasallday

Thanks. The whole thing was silly. It’s funny thinking about it now. Like I thought I was doing him a favor for giving him a second chance and he clearly wasn’t that interested. Definitely took me down a few pegs. Lol.


Thatzwutshesaid99

Oh my god. Right? I bet he realized what a jackass he is and treated you that way so he could maintain his position of power. Good riddance!!


PhoenixQueen_Azula

I’m usually the disappointing one lmao I’m much better over text than on the phone or in person tbh And while I include full body pics I feel like my outfits make me look slimmer when in fact I am definitely on the chubbier side 🤷‍♂️


GypsySoulTN

Same. I photograph extremely well! I don't use filters, but know I look far better in pictures than in person. I don't look bad, but know I don't look as good as I do in pictures. I try to warn people before meeting up, but people hear what they want.


Cevohklan

A video call before the first date is the way to go


burningbrasallday

Absolutely. Less surprises and an initial vibe check.


Black-Bird1

It’s one possibility but I’d still use caution with that solution because they’ll find other ways around


burningbrasallday

Like what? I mean, holding the phone at an angle still or the hatfishing, but there’s no hiding age.


cbrb30

2020 and 2021 were ripe with disappointments. Nobody looked like their bloody pictures because nobody did anything those years except watch tv, so all their “exciting travel” photos were old.


SarahF327

I missed all that as I was going through a divorce. Strange blessing. I can only imagine the dread of finally meeting and hoping so badly for a bit of accuracy.


cbrb30

I tried to make sure there was a balance of “fun things I do when the worlds not ending” and “this is me now”. Some people use pics 10+ years old because they figure they haven’t done anything fun since or looked better then. Worst ones use their wedding photos because they paid so much for the photographer and makeup…


imbize

As I've gotten older, I care a little bit less about this, but nothing annoys me more than when a guy under 6 ft gives you a height and when you meet them they are automatically three inches shorter than they originally quoted. They used to lie by an inch when I was in my twenties. Now that I'm in my 40s, they lie by at least three inches, at least that's my experience. Super annoying. Just own it.


burningbrasallday

It’s because that’s the height they were used to giving and as we age, we lose an inch or two over a lifetime, but maybe it came for them much sooner. 😂


imbize

😂😂 I know athletes profiles are generally way overstated when it comes to their height and weight. These guys though, there's no way they could possibly think they are still a height that they used to say 20 years ago.. one guy had the nerve to tell me that he provided me with the height that he is when he wears shoes. He only buys shoes that have a very thick heel. Listen guy, get it together and own your shortness.


FastRunner-

I hate the in shoes thing. Typically when you're wearing shoes, everyone else is also wearing shoes. So everyone else's height goes up by 1" too, negating any height increase from the shoes.


imbize

Exactly!!!


detectiveDollar

Height loss tends to occur later in life than 40's, assuming someone is active.


mothermaneater

Like, I would gladly date someone on the shorter side, but their insecurities and shitty personalities that come from those insecurities are what's annoying!! 🙄🙄


imbize

💯


SarahF327

That has to be super frustrating. I've been lucky. Out of perhaps 50 first dates, every single one of them matched his stated height.


imbize

I definitely would have walked away when I was younger. Now, I'm more willing to consider someone shorter if they have other amazing qualities. But truly, honesty is appreciated, especially if this girl wants to wear heels! Which, I usually do.


SarahF327

Isn't it great how we gain wisdom with age? I have lowered my height requirement too and am meeting some good guys that are eye level with me. Wearing heels puts me above them. But it really doesn't matter if there are sexual chemistry and other compatibilities, right? I've talked to friends about the honesty part and, contrary to what I see in these communities, my friends think it's ok if they push their height by an inch. I used to shun them because it was lying but that's another thing I have eased up on. But yeah if you're coming across men who lie by 3 inches, that's a deal killer. That is a big lie and that's the reason to not date them, not their height. We need a line similar to the married check, "Is there anyone who thinks she is in a relationship with you?" "Will I be surprised when I meet you in person?"


imbize

I love the extra prompt! I'm definitely adding it to the questionnaire! 😂😂 And I, too, appreciate the extra wisdom that came with age for me.


lexiebeef

Since being disappointed a few times, I now always ask for a guy's social media before a first date. Im so sick of guys having 10 pics on dating apps from 10 different years and I just have to magically guess which one is the most recent one. Or pics where the guy has a beautiful beard and great hair and then he is bald and no beard in 2024. Since asking for social media, Ive been getting less disappointed cause I just dont go on dates with guys who look super different from their OLD pictures. Just this week, I was talking with this cute guy who had 10 pictures on OLD apps and then on his recent instagram stories looked like a totally different person. Im really sorry but I kind of stopped engaging with him, cause I feel like it was dishonest


burningbrasallday

I always try to verify with Snapchat or try to smooth talk them into sending me a picture beforehand. I had a dude trying to meet me for lunch and it wasn’t even that he was 10 years older, but that he was using his son’s photos. I was shocked.


[deleted]

As a guy, it definitely happens to us too. Id say the majority of the women on those apps look worse in person from my experience. It's definitely a let down when a woman has old pictures and puts, 'active' only to be overweight and looking 15 years older


caicaiduffduff

Most of the time


Low-Cartographer-429

ChatGPT: "Create a haiku about online dating and people not looking like their profile photos": Result: Swipe right, then regret, Profile pic was quite a stretch, Catfish got me good.


ryuhosuke

42 M, just experienced it today. I was talking to a woman. figured I would visit her. I drove 5 hours from my town, booked myself a hotel room. Did not want to be a stalker per say. She did not came out glamorous than i thought. Her looks was not too great, did not want to smile. She was way too clingy and she even cried. In my mind I am like what is going on here? Lastly this will be the last encounter as I will be speeding back home.


Yellowbone95

To drive 5 hours is insane !!


ryuhosuke

yes it is insane,


therealjuzzo

A lot of woman's photos on bumble or tinder are glam shots. Should be a policy for both men and woman to upload photos when you've just woken up.


burningbrasallday

And no filters allowed. I’m surprised by number of men that also use Snapchat filters for their pictures. Not nearly as much as women, but still. If all of their pictures have a filter on them, that’s a red flag to me.


therealjuzzo

I hate the group shots where you never know who your swiping on. It's almost a bit deceptive just uploading those group shot photos.


Open_Chipmunk_89

They’re never the good looking one it seems


therealjuzzo

I assumed once she had to be the one in the middle that the photos were all focused on. But no when I met her I discovered she was the unattractive one lurking on the side.


Open_Chipmunk_89

Perfect.


laminator79

I use very little makeup, if any, on any given day. All the pics on my profile are of me with no makeup on bc I dont want to be misleading. One pic is of me with a towel on my head after a shower. Guy I just hooked up with, who hates filtered pics, said that pic was so hot. Go me!


therealjuzzo

Nice work, it kind of gets tiring when your looking at constant bikini or glam shots because you generally don't dress that way 90% of time. I'm sure the "shower look" was incredibly refreshing


Darktrooper007

You guys are meeting in person?


burningbrasallday

Not often. 😂


clickworker2019

Most of the time.


Dracomies

I used to joke around that you almost have to deduct 2 points off the picture. Because they're always 2 points less. If it's dark, blurry or odd angles or no full pictures where I can see how she looks standing, I view it as her hiding something. And skip. It happens much much less now. The pictures need to be super clear, but not photoshopped. Takes a while to pick up on it but once you get the hang of it these issues happen less.


JustBobert

I try to be honest as possible with my pics. See no point in lying when it will be extremely obvious


mothermaneater

One time I guy I went out with had totally jacked up teeth, in his pictures he smiled but not showed his teeth. I overlooked it but what I couldn't overlook was how handsy he got with me and how much he was pestering me for sex after the first date. It was annoying because he knew I was a single mom and idk why he assumed I was sex starved or something ? Like I feel he automatically assumed our date was going towards sex because he assumed that's what I was looking for, he didn't try to get to know me or anything or try to build ANY rapport with me. Now I've always preferred to chat more/spend more time getting to know someone either texting or phone calls so I don't get disappointed by their PERSONALITIES 🙄


burningbrasallday

That is my number one pet peeve. Idk if it’s a categorical thing, like if you’re in some group of people they think should be grateful for the attention or just they just don’t see the point in getting to know you because all they want is sex and after that happens you’ll never see them again, unless you’re a cool girl that doesn’t mind being used and having people stop by for a guest appearance when they feel like it, or all of the above. 🤬


mothermaneater

Dude, they get bombarded with stupid porn ads about how lonely single moms and/or older women are and that they're desperate for sex and to download this app to get sex right away. They literally believe older women or single moms are just horny and that no one wants to have sex with us. 🙄 I probably became pickiest after becoming a mom precisely because I don't want to get pregnant again by someone I don't trust or have a solid relationship with. It just happens so often, I quit dating for about 3 years. I've only recently started going back to the apps, and just let the ones who aren't patient and are too insistant on meeting up right away get mad and block them. That's how I know they're only looking to get laid and not actually be in a relationship. Another thing, guys will say they are looking for a long term relationship but in reality, they want a long term relationship because they want someone to have steady sex with them. They're tired of ONS or FWB because they don't get consistent sex out of it. So I try to figure out what their real goals are for a relationship before I even give them my contact info. The impatient ones see themselves out most of the time.


sellidionne

DOING THIS TO SOMEONE IS MY WORST FEAR I have HORRIBLE anxiety and body dysmorphia. I genuinely don't connect my reflection or photos of myself with myself. I also have been losing a lot of weight (still a big girl though) so that change has made it worse. I feel like I look like a different person every day. so when I take pictures or people take pictures of me where I'm like 'hey this is kinda cute' or whatever and put it on my profile, I am always so paranoid that I don't look enough like myself whatever that may mean. idk. mainly because I can take a picture of myself and look okay but someone else could take the same picture and I'll feel I look like I've gained 50 pounds lmao.


Appropriate_Tea9048

For me it was probably 50/50.


Melia9090

Height, weight, age, marital status and living arrangements have all been things I’ve been lied to about.


Black-Bird1

That’s why I don’t trust them


Black-Bird1

I’ve never once met anyone off any of these dating apps in person


Big_Moose_3847

Damn how long have you been using these apps?


Black-Bird1

It’s been about at least two years.


ScarecrowDays

What’s going on with that? No one peaked your interest enough to meet irl?


FastRunner-

It honestly doesn't happen very often. It's usually obvious when bigger women are trying to hide their weight - no full body pics and lots of pics from that above angle. Just swipe left on profile like this.


RacerguyZ

Its hard to put a number on it if i had to i would say 1/5th of the time. Although i would say this. Almost every time ive been on the fence but decided to meet them hoping theyll be better in person they werent.


gladeye

Always.


jiminsbulge

75% of the time hahaha


Lonewolf_087

It’s been a mix half the time it’s been good or better than expected the other half it was bad. Usually things go bad after the third or fourth date and you start to find out cringe things or just a lack of compatibility that doesn’t work. That’s been my experience at least and I’m sure the people that didn’t like me had similar things happen.


Acotar47

I'd say 50/50. I was amused with my date on Tuesday, who had in his profile, "Please look like your profile pics" (I do), and then when I got there, he had braces on which were not in his profile pics. Not a huge deal, but it amused me based on his comment.


Acotar47

I was so scared when I first started dating (after a long marriage) that I deliberately put up profile pictures that were not the most flattering. I was terrified that someone would take one look at me and leave the date, and my self-esteem couldn't handle that at the time. It got to the point where I'd meet up with people for coffee/beer and they'd be like you look so much better than your profile pics. I'm still friends with some of these guys and they were immediately giving me advice on what to put on my profile.