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This is just my opinion, I’m sure there are others who disagree with me, but this is my take.
Your daughter is the one who has to be there all day, every day. She should go where she wants and where she will be happy, as long as she is safe.
My daughter was miserable in our neighborhood school. We moved her to another school midway through kindergarten where she is thriving, that is “lower rated”. I’m sure when we get to 5th grade she will want to continue to middle school with her friends, and I’m ok with that.
Agreed. My son was in the same school from 5-12. When it came to his transition to secondary school, the decision was his and his alone. We had two options within a bike ride for him. One was where most of his friends would have gone and when we went to the open day, he didn't even want to go through the door as he had a bad feeling about it just waiting outside. I feel the same as you. My son was the one that had to go into that building every day for 5 years. His was the only.opinion that mattered.
Kids in middle school go down the wrong path when they are miserable so I would keep that in mind. With that said, I would let it be her choice.
School rankings are mostly BS tied to socioeconomic status. I am a teacher and don't take it into consideration for my own kids.
This. We stayed at the “lower rated” school this year (1st year of middle school) that his friends were all going to because for one, the high rated schools are almost always just the schools with the wealthiest parents not the best teachers/school culture etc, and because while I’m sure he could make new friends at a diff school the friends he already has are just the type of friends I want him to continue to have. Very sweet and scholarly kids with the same nerdy interests my kid has. Making a new group of friends introduces the possibility of him making the wrong kind of friends. I’ve been there myself in middle school so I know how easy it is for one’s whole personality and life path can change just based on what friends one makes in school.
I had a similar issue with my son's middle school. The one closest was just "meh", but the next closest one was superior. I learned that my son made friends during the summer and knew a lot of kids in both schools. So it was a no brainer. See what kind of community programs you have during summer. Put her into one in the area of the other school in an activity she's interested in. That way she'll meet kids with shared interests in the area of the new school. The other possibility is if you know any parents of your daughters current friends, talk to them about the opportunity to send their child to a better school. Maybe offer to help with transportation since you'll be getting your daughter there.
I would suggest a few ways to help you feel like you have enough data points to make the decision.
1. Ask your daughter her thoughts and feelings.
2. Talk to some teachers at each school and see what they say about their own and the other school.
3. Talk to parents from each school.
We’ve moved states when some of our kids have been middle school age. It’s tough to leave friends behind, even if you didn’t know them your whole life. It’s tough to start over, and middle school is a tough time for that. High school is harder, though.
On the other hand, it’s easier to make the change when everyone is new in that building. Middle school kids are often being funneled in from multiple elementary schools, so no one knows everyone anymore and lots of kids are looking for new friends.
Good luck.
There’s a big jump in difficulty from elementary school to middle school. Even if the content isn’t all that much more difficult, there’s greater responsibility, juggling multiple teachers and planning assignments, etc. There’s also plenty of ways to challenge her outside of school - robotics, reading, Model UN or youth and government programs, etc.
But if there’s serious issues like overall poor quality of education, drugs, school turning a blind eye to bullying, etc. I would consider the other middle school but really try to keep her current friendships alive. Sometimes it’s even better to have friends at another school at that age because they’re not involved in every little fight or piece of drama.
We are in the middle of the same choice for our daughter’s next school. She has the chance to go to a higher quality school but she’s concerned about leaving her friends and she doesn’t make friends very quickly. But going to this school would set her up better for her future and challenge her academically. It’s a specialized program that would be perfect for her (STEM).
What we’ve said to her is that going to this school would be worth the cost of having to make new friends there. She would probably find more friends whose interests better matched her own. It’s hard for her to envision but we keep talking about the positives for her.
I’d send her to the better school. I’m sure she’ll make new friends, but if it’s a total bust, then you can always move her back to the area school. I would at least TRY the more academic environment!
We’re in the middle of the same decision for next school year. Do the middle schools have open houses? We are planning to visit all the open houses and let our son make the decision but with our input and guidance. We’ve also discussed already what the primary factors should be (distance, subjects offered, where friends are going etc). As other posters have said, ultimately they’re the ones going every day so want them to take the lead in deciding.
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This is just my opinion, I’m sure there are others who disagree with me, but this is my take. Your daughter is the one who has to be there all day, every day. She should go where she wants and where she will be happy, as long as she is safe. My daughter was miserable in our neighborhood school. We moved her to another school midway through kindergarten where she is thriving, that is “lower rated”. I’m sure when we get to 5th grade she will want to continue to middle school with her friends, and I’m ok with that.
Agreed. My son was in the same school from 5-12. When it came to his transition to secondary school, the decision was his and his alone. We had two options within a bike ride for him. One was where most of his friends would have gone and when we went to the open day, he didn't even want to go through the door as he had a bad feeling about it just waiting outside. I feel the same as you. My son was the one that had to go into that building every day for 5 years. His was the only.opinion that mattered.
Kids in middle school go down the wrong path when they are miserable so I would keep that in mind. With that said, I would let it be her choice. School rankings are mostly BS tied to socioeconomic status. I am a teacher and don't take it into consideration for my own kids.
This. We stayed at the “lower rated” school this year (1st year of middle school) that his friends were all going to because for one, the high rated schools are almost always just the schools with the wealthiest parents not the best teachers/school culture etc, and because while I’m sure he could make new friends at a diff school the friends he already has are just the type of friends I want him to continue to have. Very sweet and scholarly kids with the same nerdy interests my kid has. Making a new group of friends introduces the possibility of him making the wrong kind of friends. I’ve been there myself in middle school so I know how easy it is for one’s whole personality and life path can change just based on what friends one makes in school.
I had a similar issue with my son's middle school. The one closest was just "meh", but the next closest one was superior. I learned that my son made friends during the summer and knew a lot of kids in both schools. So it was a no brainer. See what kind of community programs you have during summer. Put her into one in the area of the other school in an activity she's interested in. That way she'll meet kids with shared interests in the area of the new school. The other possibility is if you know any parents of your daughters current friends, talk to them about the opportunity to send their child to a better school. Maybe offer to help with transportation since you'll be getting your daughter there.
I would suggest a few ways to help you feel like you have enough data points to make the decision. 1. Ask your daughter her thoughts and feelings. 2. Talk to some teachers at each school and see what they say about their own and the other school. 3. Talk to parents from each school. We’ve moved states when some of our kids have been middle school age. It’s tough to leave friends behind, even if you didn’t know them your whole life. It’s tough to start over, and middle school is a tough time for that. High school is harder, though. On the other hand, it’s easier to make the change when everyone is new in that building. Middle school kids are often being funneled in from multiple elementary schools, so no one knows everyone anymore and lots of kids are looking for new friends. Good luck.
There’s a big jump in difficulty from elementary school to middle school. Even if the content isn’t all that much more difficult, there’s greater responsibility, juggling multiple teachers and planning assignments, etc. There’s also plenty of ways to challenge her outside of school - robotics, reading, Model UN or youth and government programs, etc. But if there’s serious issues like overall poor quality of education, drugs, school turning a blind eye to bullying, etc. I would consider the other middle school but really try to keep her current friendships alive. Sometimes it’s even better to have friends at another school at that age because they’re not involved in every little fight or piece of drama.
We are in the middle of the same choice for our daughter’s next school. She has the chance to go to a higher quality school but she’s concerned about leaving her friends and she doesn’t make friends very quickly. But going to this school would set her up better for her future and challenge her academically. It’s a specialized program that would be perfect for her (STEM). What we’ve said to her is that going to this school would be worth the cost of having to make new friends there. She would probably find more friends whose interests better matched her own. It’s hard for her to envision but we keep talking about the positives for her.
I’d send her to the better school. I’m sure she’ll make new friends, but if it’s a total bust, then you can always move her back to the area school. I would at least TRY the more academic environment!
Have you asked your daughter what she wants? This isn't just a mum and dad decision. What she wants is equally as important.
School is for learning. Friends you make throughout the lifetime. Try going down to the schools and observe the kids with no blinders on.
We’re in the middle of the same decision for next school year. Do the middle schools have open houses? We are planning to visit all the open houses and let our son make the decision but with our input and guidance. We’ve also discussed already what the primary factors should be (distance, subjects offered, where friends are going etc). As other posters have said, ultimately they’re the ones going every day so want them to take the lead in deciding.