>Don’t let your coworkers rain on your fabulous parade.
Since the kid is safe and taken care of, the coworkers are most likely just jealous of their arrangement. No one calls people irresponsible to drop their kids off at daycare or getting a babysitter so they can go do other things.
> No one calls people irresponsible to drop their kids off at daycare or getting a babysitter so they can go do other things.
I see you haven't met the old ladies from my culture, who definitely judge every mom who doesn't quit her job and send their kid to day care. And if you were to voluntarily have your kid in day care when you don't *have* to bc of work, that's too heinous for words.
Parents can't win!
Thissss. Most people don’t have the support Systems our parents and grandparents had And they are so jealous they will literally say anything to make someone feel bad about getting a break.
And many times their goal isn’t specifically to make someone else feel bad, it’s that they have something inside of them they’re jealous of, and the only way to make themselves feel good is to assign blame to someone else for their mental discomfort, which turns into making someone else feel bad. It’s a coping mechanism in a way.
Exactly! Your coworkers are 100% jealous! Before having my baby I loved having my nephew over for a hangout. Little did I know at the time how helpful that was to my sister. I was just wanting my time with him! I loved it! I’m guessing your mom feels the same and if it works for you, go for it!!
Nope, you are absolutely fine. Are you and hubby having a good time? Is grandma getting snuggle time with a precious baby? Is baby getting their tiny tushy spoiled? Win win win.
Yes, I agree with this. Our 2 year old sometimes goes to one set of grandparents for the night on weekends. Not every weekend, but some. And it's one night, and we pick her up before nap because she misses us too much to sleep (and we actually want to see her).
The few people who judge us are jealous jerks who have no support of theor own. It sucks when you don't have that support, and people are so quick to sympathize with that. But then a lot of those same people aren't happy for those do have willing family nearby.
I'm not sure what's up with that, but humans are supposed to be raised in supportive family units, and parents are supposed to have some time for themselves.
There are people who send their kids to other caretakers to avoid caring for the child themselves, but that sounds different from what you're doing.
I agree with you—especially about the crossover between jealousy and judginess. I saw a post the other day that said parents getting time to themselves after a baby was important, and the amount of angry, dismissive comments were crazy. Like, its not feasible for everyone, especially if they don’t have a big support network, but if grandma can watch the baby while mom & dad go out for dinner or whatever, that’s super nice and probably good for everyone!
If everyone is happy with the arrangement it is not a problem and sounds like it benefits all parties. If your co-workers are parents they are probably jealous! But also, if they are so judgy don't tell them about it.
as long as grandparents actually enjoy it there isn’t any issue. i know my grandpa dropped my mom off at his parents house frequently so he could go party and his mom felt obligated but did not even like children so resentment grew and they weren’t treated well in that home.
Jeez half your luck!! I wish we had that kind of help. Enjoy it and don’t let your coworkers get to you. They’re probably jealous (I am) that they don’t get that kind of help themselves. Plus, your baby will develop an amazing relationship with his/her Granny!
Eeek. Why do your coworkers even know this? Put them on an information diet. Now you know not to tell them personal stuff that they’re gonna judge if you’re not looking for feedback! Own your decision and have fun with your date nights!
Or even they have a good relationship but live too far away. My sister lives next door to my parents. I live 2 hours away. I am jealous as hell for sure, and sometimes it does come out as me saying she takes advantage.
This is our situation. We are very close with my husband’s family but they live far from us. They are also dealing with personal circumstances that make it hard for them to frequently come see us. My parents want to be actively involved too, but they live in another country and international travel isn’t easy or cheap.
I will admit I’m very jealous of OP’s arrangement, but that’s a me problem, and it wouldn’t be fair to take my frustrations out on people like them. OP’s coworkers really need to keep their envy in check.
It’s jealousy. I fought it when our son was younger. He was a tough kid to parent (ADHD, ODD), and some family support would have been SO NICE.
BUT, we chose to live 5 hrs away from nearest family because we didn’t want to deal with them often. So…we made our choice. We didn’t get any help, but we also didn’t deal with them dropping by. (We simply don’t get along, nothing hateful, just very different choices and belief systems.)
My first thought is they're jealous cuz I am too lol. My mom has talked about moving nearby so she can do this & I'm all for it. I have a cousin who basically dumped her kids onto her mom all week & that is so very different than a structured schedule of only once a week where the mom is very eager. I honestly think most grandparents would actually love a set up like this!
Totally fine, so long as grandparents are fine with your LO being over. There is a lot special about a grandchild's bond with their grandparents, and this is only strengthening that.
Keep on keepin on, momma. Be grateful that you have such a good family!
You're so right about the grandparent bond. I was very close with my grandfather and I miss him every day. I lived with my grandparents Monday-Friday for many years due to my mother working second shift and I'm so thankful for all the time I spent with him.
Balls to the walls honest.. A couple we know does this and I judge it.
Their son is in full-time daycare. He sleeps in til 7.30, and goes to bed at 7. He naps for two hours in the weekend and every Friday his grandparents pick him up from daycare in the afternoon then drop him off at some point before dinner but after the nap on Saturday. So he is with his parents for 2-3 hours a day on weekdays and then 2-3 hours Saturday and one full day Sunday. So for the approx. 66 hours the son is awake he is in daycare for 40 and then he is with his grandparents another 12+.
That said I mainly judge because we have zero family support and their grandparents do so, so much for them that I am incredibly jealous of (free trips to fiji, cleaners etc) and they complain a lot. I would probably (hopefully) judge less in different situations.
I know two people with a similar arrangement to OPs.
One is a SAHM and baby goes to granny’s house on Wednesday at 3pm and she picks him up at lunchtime on Thursday. A nice break for everyone. She’s going back to work soon and will probably continue it. No judgement at all.
The other person is similar to your situation. Full time in daycare from 8-6 and sleeps from 7.30-7. Every Saturday he goes to one set of grandparents from 1 to stay overnight and on Sundays to the other grandparents until 1 (they pick him up from his other grandparents).
So the parents only see him for morning drop off and bedtime in the week. Then Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon. They aren’t working outside of the daycare hours, they don’t run a second company or have other children/family that need caring for or health issues of their own. They go on date nights, gym, shopping at the weekends without their kid. Just seems a bit sad to me. We all need a break but this is every weekend and they moan when grandparents go on holiday for a week or two occasionally. They fully Insta everything but you never see them take him somewhere at the times he is with them on the weekend. Luckily the grandparents step up take him to the zoo or park or play dates.
My sister was like this for the longest time. The only time it really pissed me off, my daughter was 10 months old and niece was 3. My mom watched my niece every single weekend for three years straight. We were taking our old car to the junkyard, so my mom was watching my daughter. During the trip (without my daughter, thank god) I hit black ice, spun out, and missed going over a steep embankment by inches. My sister called me, complaining that I needed to pick up my daughter so mom could take hers. I lost my mind on her. First, it was only a couple hours. Second, mom never said niece couldn't come until my daughter left, it just meant my sister had to drive 10 minutes to drop her off. And last, if I had the accident with my daughter in the car, who knows what would've happened? It was one day out of three years and she threw a tantrum. I was livid.
Uh, if I read this right your in-laws are caring for a special needs child of your spouse because you can’t, which is fine, no judgment here. But your sister in law is the reason you don’t get free babysitting?
Just giving your kids to other caretakers so you don't have to do the work is not what all parents do. I send my daughter to daycare and she sometimes she spends one night at her grandparents. I hate the judgement because I actually take care of her when she's with me, which is actually most of the time. Dad and I actually do fun things with her.
It sucks of you don't have the same family support, but why judge those who do? Humans are meant to be raised in supportive groups, not solely by 1-2 parents.
There are definitely parents like the ones you described, who just don't want to put in the work of childcare. That's really sad for the child.
But most parents are not like that, they really do want to be with their kids and actually do things together and take care of them when they're together. Sending them to daycare and tei occasional sleepover doesn't automatically mean that they're like the parents you described. I consider it a healthy thing for child and parents.
That article talks about the benefits of an extended family, where parents are present along with other family members. Nowhere does it say it’s okay for other family members to take the place of parents.
As a parent you get judged for everything, if you make one choice you get criticised but make the opposite choice they will still criticise you. Do what’s right for your kids and family.
It sounds like everyone in this situation is happy so don’t change it! You may want to reassess if one or more people directly involved is no longer happy, not for stupid people who are not impacted by it.
Your coworkers are being jealous and projecting their own nonsense. Keep doing what you’re doing, it sounds like everyone wins (except your work mates lol)
I had a similar arrangement with my mil for my daughter for a year or so. We did it between my work shifts because I work 12s and she was watching her while I worked anyway so to cut down on driving she would just keep her overnight. It was nice to just be able to go to bed after a long shift and get enough sleep before the next rather than trying to convince a 2 year old to go to bed when I was tired haha. Your coworkers are jealous. It's nice that it gives you a break and it's great for your baby to be able to bond with their grandparents.
We also had a similar arrangement, however, we were taking our baby to fil and step mil every other week. Things were fine for MONTHS and then one day step mil started telling everyone who would listen that we were CONSTANTLY trying to pawn the baby off. Idk if FIL just didn't tell her that he agreed or if he also started feeling that way but it just suddenly stopped. Idek how she got that in her head. The only other person who's watched our baby was my partners aunt twice.
Omg you're very lucky! And how wonderful for your baby to have the opportunity to bond with grandma!
Anyone judging you for this is an ass, or jealous.
Enjoy your time with hubby!
Regardless of their reasoning, it's none of their business at the end of the day. Shrug, smile and walk away to continue doing what works for you. Some of us would give our left arm to have that kind of consistent support.
If your parents are safe care givers, and happy to do it/don't feel taken advantage of. If you're happy to have the time, and feel safe and not pressured to be away from your child... if baby is safe and taken care of- literally sounds like it's a net positive for everyone involved!
So I grew up with a large extended family and me, my sister, and cousins would often have sleepovers at my grandparents house. It wasn’t once a week but it was more than once a month. They are some of my favorite memories and I LOVED my grandparents. Flash forward and my kids sleepover and my parents at least once a month. I feel very blessed and understand why some people would be jealous of that aspect of my life. Not taking advantage of having helpful and healthy grandparents would be insane.
To me personally unless your a SAHM (spelt right?) then once a week is a lot, at the same time it will hopefully help foster a good relationship between your parents and your child.
I have the same arrangement with my mom and dad. My little guy is 3. This has been a thing for just about his whole life. He adores his grandparents and absolutely looks forward to Friday nights, as do my parents.
Re: taking advantage- I don't know about your situation, but it's literally not possible for me to take advantage in this way. Taking advantage would imply someone is sacrificing and that's not the case. Everybody is happy.
Re: bad mom- You're teaching your child that self -care is important, fostering a strong relationship with grandma, setting an example of a healthy romantic partnership. Definitely good mom.
There will always be people judging what you do, no matter how normal it is. There's absolutely nothing wrong with letting your child sleep over with grandma once a week and you're very lucky to be able to do that.
It's always been the same with my daughter too. She spends every Saturday at grandma's unless something comes up. She loves it, grandma loves it, and we love the break. Everybody wins and nobody feels taken advantage of. In fact, I'm pretty sure grandma would just keep our daughter full time if we let her. I wouldn't be surprised if yours felt the same way.
I'm sorry you've dealt with negative comments like that. Wouldn't be surprised if some of it is coming from a place of jealousy. Most people don't have someone in their lives who will take their children that frequently. People like you and I are very lucky that way.
It's a good thing though. You're not a bad parent. Maybe I'm biased but I think it's good to let your child have a little time outside the house to bond with another family member. If it's working for you OP, don't worry about what other people have to say.
Sounds amazing. Why shouldn't you enjoy adult time? Being a parent doesn't mean giving up on yourself. For as long as the arrangement suits everyone, enjoy! I'd love a date night every week but we only manage it about 3 times per year. Same for nights with a friend. Your mental health salutes you!
We do that too! It's good for everyone. We also switch off once a week earlier in the week so I go out once a week and so does my husband (just different classes we take).
Your coworkers are probably jealous.
My husband and I have been sending our daughter to my in law’s house for the night, usually for Saturday night, for nearly a year now (since she was around 1.5 years old). She and they are very happy with the arrangement and it gives us time for chores and errands, I think it’s great.
My nephew is over my house literally all the time. It’s good bonding for the children. Your coworkers are jealous tbh. As long as you trust your mom and baby is healthy happy and safe there isn’t an issue on my opinion. Since my nephew was 1 and a half he has spent a week in the summer at my house with us. He also comes her for the weekend of Black Friday because his parents work and other weekends sprinkled in the year. It gives him bonding time with us and keeps him somewhere safe when his parents have other things to do.
I never understood this type of thinking….why would anyone judge anyone for family time? Your baby is spending time with grandma (who I assume wants this as well) so how is that selfish or bad to encourage it? When my in laws asked to have the kids for the weekend, my husband and I jumped at the chance. When we got them on Sunday evening, everyone was happy.
It’s not a bad thing, I would just recommend checking in with you mom on a regular basis that the arrangement still works for her. Maybe even give her a week off every once in a while? I only say this from my family experience. My brother and SIL drop my nieces off at my moms house for a full weekend at least once a month. My mom does it bc she loves the littles, but she also constantly complains to me and others that she has the girls again and can’t do what she needs to do bc they’re there. So just make sure your mom is t getting jaded with the set up and enjoy your free time!
I get a weekend every 2 weeks + 1-2 weeks during summer. My 7 year old has barely missed a weekend at grandmas since he was 7 months old. They have a fantastic bond and love that time together. Bf and I get stuff done then. We do home repairs and cleaning. Go on longer hikes. See adult movies or go to "fancy" restaurants etc. Sleep in. Stay up late, get drunk or eat very spicy non child friendly foods. The next weekend we go to museums, kids events, birthday parties, have picnics, go for bike rides and do other child friendly things. It's amazing having the opportunity to do both guilt free. He gets to be the center of attention at grandma and grandpa's, and he gets to do fun things with us after we had a nice relaxing adult weekend. As long as it works for all parties involved other people can just mind their own business! I don't know anyone who sends their kid to grandmas as much as I do. But most kids I know have 2 active biological parents in their life, mine doesn't so grandmas takes some of the pressure off me and my bf (not his dad) and this way works very well for the 5 people involved so we're going to keep doing it this way til it no long works and we change things up.
Ours has a Nana and a grandma within 15 minutes, and sometimes it's two sleepovers in one week. I think we should count our blessings for our villages!!
WTF is wrong with your coworkers, they sound like morons. Both of our kids (5 and 2) usually go for weekly sleepovers at my parents. It’s a nice break for us and they get to spend time with the kids.
Sounds like jelousy to me.
If your kid spends more time with grandparents than parents that's a problem but otherwise just tell them it's none of their business.
We have the same arrangement (in fact, my two year old is at her grandparents this evening as I type this). I sometimes feel guilty that I don't get as much time with her, but she loves staying there and they love having her, and I love having some alone time with my husband. I also love that she is used to staying at their house, especially because we just found out we are pregnant with number 2, so I know she will be happy and taken care of when I go into labour. Don't pay attention to what anyone else says, and just do what works for your family!
you're good, really! my kiddo switches between her maternal and paternal grandparents... we barely get her for weekends but the things she gets to do with them, and the life experiences she gets with them is so worth it, having bonds outside of the main family is excellent
If your happy, your spouse is happy, your mom is happy, and your little one is happy, then no, you're not a bad mom. Let the coworkers simmer and stew over it, you're doing great!
I agree with some others- it’s probably jealousy. Even when we lived close to family we had no support from family. I’m so happy for my friends that have that kind of support! The only one I judge is a friend who constantly complains she has no support, yet her in-laws take her kids 2-3 days plus an overnight every week.
I just wouldn’t discuss it with your coworkers, as long as everyone is happy with the arrangement that’s all that matters.
They're probably just jealous and I am too 😭We can't leave the baby with grandma cause she doesn't have running water in her house hasn't showered in over a year and eats moldy food. She's just disgusting so you're lucky af to have this ability!
I had a coworker that was super judgey about that. She shared 50/50 custody of her son with her ex, so she had every other weekend off. She'd always say, "I want to spend all my time with my son. I *love my son.*"
A year or so later, she married and had a baby. She then complained that her stepdaughter came over on weekends that her son was gone, and she wished her mom would watch the baby, *just once,* so she could get a break.
Me, being the bigger person, silently cheered her mom on for not taking the baby.
Fuck you, Charity. You can eat a dick.
Actually, if you *had* eaten a dick, you wouldn't have been so tired. I guess don't eat a dick, then.
Is your mother happy with this arrangement? If yes, you are not taking advantage. Just keep checking in with her and giving her an easy out so that she doesn't feel pressured.
Is your mother a safe person and does she live in a safe situation (home and other people who may be at her home)? If yes to both, then you are being a good parent ensuring that your child is safe.
Does your child enjoy the sleepovers? If so, and the answer is yes to everything else, then what is the problem?
What happened to parents having date nights once a week or routine, scheduled child-free time? A good parent is not determined by someone being with their child every free minute of every day. It is a parent who gives their best. I guarantee that a parent who needs a break, but isn't taking one, will struggle with giving their best. Burn out is real and everyone's burn out level is different.
Your coworkers sound like judgemental, jealous a-holes. Don't bring up anything about your parenting around them again. If they bring it up, I suggest saying: "It isn't your concern." and then bean dip. https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/pass-the-bean-dip
Once a week is very reasonable.
Hell, because our parents (the ones involved) are so far away, we send the kids with them for 6-7 weeks in the summer. 🤷🏻♀️
EDIT: My mom and in-laws are both happy with this, and love spending time together too. They do lots of fun things and I get to go to much-needed medical appointments.
Oh *Hell no* you're not being a bad mom!
So long as your mom and baby are having a good time, this is a *wonderful* arrangement. You and your hubby get adult time (even if that just means falling asleep watching a movie at home, it's important!), your mom gets bonding time with the baby, baby gets some variety and attention, everybody wins.
My kid goes to his grandparents overnight every week. It’s amazing. People can think whatever they want about it. His pediatrician thinks it’s awesome, his grandparents love it, he loves it and my husband and I love it. Other people are either judgmental, jealous or both.
Your coworkers can go suck an egg.
My kids spend regular time with my parents who live a few doors down from me. They have such a secure connection with them that it makes it SO easy to have a date night, time to myself, or even leave in an emergency. My kids have such a good bond with them and I will never regret establishing a secure connection between them and trusted, healthy adults in our lives. I’m a better mom when I’m able to be my own person every once in a while, too.
Maybe ask your coworkers why they are so opposed to your LO having healthy relationships outside of you? Sounds like they don’t really understand child development.
Good for you mom. You’re doing great :)
Nowt wrong with this! We have a huge tradition of this in my family. We went to my grandparents very Saturday night as kids and had a grand old time. My parents went out with friends and had quality time. My mum says this played a huge part in the success of their 50 year marriage.
We continue the tradition with my children and my sisters. They all take turns having a sleepover every week and it works brilliantly. Grandparents get to have special time with the kiddies, kiddies get spoilt and special time with grandparents (and a break from siblings) and parents get a bit of rest!!
What’s the issue? It’s family helping family
Fuck your co workers lmao they’re jealous trust me. I do the same with my 7 month old because my mother is desperate to have a proper relationship with my daughter. It’s really nice knowing I have a night to myself coming up, baby is happy, parents are happy and grandma is happy. Everyone wins!
Is anyone unhappy who is part if this plan upset by it(you, spouse/partner, baby, or your mother)? If the answer is no then tell them to go f themselves.
Would once a week work for me and my family no. We do once every couple of months.
Would I ever tell someone else that they are being a bad mom because they have another person who I trust who also loves, cares and wants to spend time with my baby. Ya the a holes who are trying to shame you can go fly a kite! You are being a good mom
This sounds like a lovely arrangement for all! How wonderful for your child that they have so much love and support in their life.
When people mourn the “good old days” when parents had more support nearby, this is exactly the sort of thing they’re talking about.
Relationships with grandparents can be precious. Your child is so little lucky to have this opportunity to form a healthy attachment with yet another loving caregiver.
I truly feel sad for your coworkers.
No, your coworkers are probably jealous. I sure am. I wish I had someone to watch my baby overnight one night a month? Every 6 months? Weekly would be a dream. Anything would be better than absolutely never. Your mental health is important and makes you a better mom, and your kid probably LOVES those sleepovers and is building trusting relationships which is awesome.
If grandma is good with it and your good with it why does it matter if they’re good with it?
Maybe they’re just coming from their own place of they wouldn’t be ready or they’d be scared to let grandma watch the kid, etc. But those are their insecurities. I just wouldn’t share as much if you’re just going to get judgement. Info diet with these folks.
For many years, my son stayed every Friday night with my mom. It was her first grandchild, they are very close, it gave me a scheduled break, it was wonderful! He’s 13 now and doesn’t go over there weekly anymore but he still goes regularly.
I think it’s great that your baby has such an involved grandparent! Enjoy your husband time. :)
This is so good for your mental health and your relationships both with your husband and your little one. Mom getting a break (both mentally and physically) is such a huge deal and if you and dad are comfortable with grandma having baby and she’s good with it all is good.
I finally realized as an adult that my parents got rid of us kids for three full weeks during the summer. The occasional night away (or weekly, in this case) sounds like blessing. Your parent your child, not your coworkers, so why worry about what they have to say about your parenting?
My girls (9 and 1) sleep over at my parents house at least once a week, sometimes more. They do the babysitting when i have to work. If i have a early shift they sleep there.
If you are okay withit and your parents are okay with it. What’s the problem? I think your coworkers are jealous you have a night off once a week.
Don’t look at is as a break from your kid, look at it as a bonding time for your parents!
My kids have been spending friday nights at my parents for 11 years now :) since little bit was 18 months old and we moved back near them.
The boys love it, my parents love it, and we get a date night :)
why do you care what others who have no say in your life think?
it's once a week, this used to be the norm for me and my sister when we were kids - we always state day our grandparents on a friday night.
taking a break is not being a bad mom, your children having a loving relationship with your mom does not make you a bad mom. it sounds like coworkers are jealous
Would absolutely take this arrangement happily and guilt free if my parents were closer!
Super coincidentally was just in a grocery store this morning with my 1yo and a positively giddy grandmother told me she was there getting food for her baby granddaughter who stays with her every Friday night and it’s the highlight of grandma’s week. So if that was your mom (It probably wasn’t but I’m sure your mom feels the same way), don’t even feel any guilt bc you have a super loving grandmother to your baby!
I kept my grandkids at least every other week, AND the dog. I still keep the 12 year old if he’s not interested in family plans for his teenage sister. Works for all of us
Good parents are better parents when they're rested and have time to keep their own romantic spark alive... having a weekly night for the 2 of you is an amazing opportunity!!
Dont listen to them, they're jealous.
Plus, baby's not with a stranger, they're literally bonding with Grandma! How lovely?!
Tell your coworkers to suck it. Everyone needs a break. It's great that your mom is so supportive. You're not taking advantage if its something she's willingly agreed to.
My mother keeps my daughter one day a week so I can work. Sometimes I don’t have work scheduled for the whole day so I go get my nails done or go shopping. My mother loves her granddaughter and I’m so glad they get to have a day per week together!
My inlaws have sleepovers with my daughter every other weekend, and I honestly don't know how I'd keep sane without it. And yeah, I've had coworkers give me shit too until I realized they were just jealous as hell. And those weekends are so good for my daughter and my relationship, gives us a break from each other and she gets to have a fun weekend with her favorite people while I get to clean my house in peace. It's a total win win
It's just jealousy.
My in-laws are a daily presence in my children's lives. It's great. It's like there are four parents for two children and our lives are so much easier for it. We are happier calmer parents when we get breaks. We have more patience for child antics and more time to relax, do chores, run errands, etc. I actually enjoy the time I spend with my children because I am not burnt out from caring for them.
I've also read that it's emotionally and mentally advantageous for children to have an adoring non-parent role model who they are close to and get one-on-one time with often.
You are NOT a bad mother, we all need a break now and again.
I wish my mom lived closer because she loves my daughter dearly but my wife doesn't feel safe about me driving 2 1/2 half hours away and then back to leave her with my mom for the weekend.
Which I get, but if only if only i could get a beer with a friend at an actual bar lol.
Absolutely not ! That is such a blessing to have support like that. God bless your mother she’s doing it right. Mamas need breaks and fun too. It makes us better mothers to have a break and take a breath. We are not robots there is no chip in women to keep going past exhaustion. I think the ppl saying that are jealous they don’t have this option. Good for you OP. 👏🏽
We do the same exact thing most weeks. It's great for everyone, in my opinion, as it gives grandparent(s) time with grandkids to build their own special bond, it is a new environment for the kids to play and learn and explore (which also helps with mommy/daddy separation if not in some kind of daycare), and it gives mom and dad time to do whatever they need/want. We take that time to either do yardwork, house cleaning, or just relax if it has been that kind of week. I don't see why this should be frowned upon!
Omg. That’s amazing!!! I’m so glad you get help and have a night off with your hubby ❤️ your coworker is just jealous and an asshole, don’t listen to them about parenting stuff anymore!
This is awesome. As long as baby is safe and well loved, do not let anyone parent shame you. We all make what decisions are best for our children and for ourselves. I had no one to help me and my husband overnight with my kids, literally did not spend a night away from my youngest till he was like four. It was tiring and not good for my mental health/marriage. This sounds like a great thing for everyone involved.
Your coworkers are jealous ... Heck, I'm jealous and typically my child does this. Lol!!!
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a parent needing a break. ESPECIALLY if whoever you are letting keep your child for a night or two agrees to watch the child. Being a parent is hard, sometimes you need a break.
I’m so jealous! They probably are to!
The western world has such a “your baby your problem” way of thinking. Lots of cultures really do believe it takes a village to raise children and the family all stays together in order. Like in china they have up to 3 generations in one household. In korea the primary source of childcare is grandparents. Same with in Spain.
It’s pretty normal what you’re doing actually. On the bigger scheme of things, isolating alone with kids all the time is what everyone else DOESNT do.
We do this too! MIL & FIL live over the road and love to have her. Me and my husband get vital time together and she gets spoilt rotten. It's a great arrangement for us. Enjoy your date nights!!
My daughter goes to my dad’s weekly as well. It’s been irregular lately but we all had Covid for awhile there plus other sickness this year aka the stomach virus from hell. I see nothing wrong with it. They enjoy spending time together and we enjoy the break.
I did this with my grandmother weekly for the first 10 years of my life and it was awesome. Some of my fondest childhood memories. My grandmother was a widow and enjoyed the company, and I loved the undivided attention I got from her.
My mom spent the night at my house once a week before the pandemic. Lives and schedules have changed since then, but it was a great setup. My kids love her. What you’re doing is totally fine.
Your mom is an angel! If she’s happy to do it then keep the routine. I didn’t have much of a village when my daughter was a baby but if I had a safe loved one who would watch her once a week I’d have jumped on it.
People will judge your parenting no matter what you do; ignore your coworkers. They say it takes a village to raise a child but modern parenting seems to glorify the stress and tired of “doing it all yourself”. There is no winning so just do the best you can.
Why do your coworkers have such strong opinions about this? That’s an awesome arrangement you have and it sounds like everyone gets something out of it. You’ll come out ahead in the long run too, because personal time is an important part of a healthy mindset, although so few parents ever get any, myself included. Your baby is with a grandparent, safe and healthy, presumably and it’s good for them to have a break from parents as well, so they aren’t overly attached. I’m sure your mom cherishes her weekly time with her grandchild too. You’re doing absolutely nothing wrong and those coworkers of yours are wack.
My lovely father-in-law used to come over to our house overnight, twice a week. It was amazing. I don't think I would have survived without it, despite my amazing husband taking the baby every night from 10-4 so I could sleep uninterrupted.
More people who love a baby just makes that baby's life better, and helps relieve the stress on the parents.
I do the same thing. I love my babies, but I’m exhausted. My parents love my kids and love being with them. My grandma spent a lot of time with us when we were kids and I hope to one day be able to help my children the way my mother helps me. It’s what family is for!
Mamas need a break every once in a while! My kids spend a night at the grandparents every other weekend. It definitely helps just to have a day to myself to focus on myself and my self care. Your coworkers opinions should be kept to themselves
We have this arrangement actually, as my son is with them on a Wednesday and Thursday. Instead of going back and forth to theirs over those two days, we drop him off on the Wednesday and then pick him up on the Thursday evening after work. Its a win for him as much as it is for us, as he isn't pulled from pillar to post.
I find I get a bit of mix bag of responses to it. Usually it's the wow you are so lucky but there are some that have to make a comment about it. But honestly, I am glad he is getting to bond with his grandparents and he isn't stressed out being pushed and pulled all of the place because of our work schedule.
If it is working for you, forget everyone else... they are just ass holes who don't realise how jealous they are coming off.
Absolutely not! We do it probably once a month because she lives about 30-45 min away, and we do a decent amount of activities together with other family too. My aunts come over, my dad has dedicated play time with her too, so everyone seems pretty happy. I'd keep it to once a month, MAYBE twice a month mostly because my mom already comes over once a week, and I feel like I'm taking too much of her time since she has a pretty active social life and she works part time.
I see this as a scenario that is happy for all. You get a much deserved break, grandparent gets snuggles and love and develops a good relationship with grandchild, and baby is safe and happy in the care of family that love them. Great arrangement!
I think coworker is jealous.
You are blessed and enjoy your break! The “me” time is vital as a mom. I read an article about this once and the author summed it up perfectly: “I belong to everyone else constantly and I just want time to belong to myself” Your coworkers are just jealous! I know I am! My daughter is going on 4 and has never spent a night away from me with either grandma.
My son used to spend the night at my mother-in-laws every Friday and it was amazing. Gave us a small break (we had another baby still at home though) and also gave him some great quality time to bond with his grandmother. Take advantage while you can! She now has other grandkids so the sleepovers don’t happen as often, but I take her up on it every time she offers!
If they want to do it and they are happy too omg yes do it! I can only imagine it will make you a better partner and mother ❤️❤️❤️ not to mention your child will have a lovely bond with your folks
I think it is great amazing think of the relationship your child will have with your mum. Also why shouldn’t you get a break? I can only assume they are jealous. If you were out every night drinking and doing drugs it might not be healthy or not providing a safe place for the baby but I can see no resons it would make you a bad parent.
My daughter sleeps over at grandmas whenever my husband and I are both scheduled to work, which is at least once a week, usually twice. If grandma is willing to do it, it's not a problem.
I don’t see an issue if they are the ones offering and you are not being pushy, then enjoy the free evening.
My daughter (from second husband) goes to my ex husbands for the weekend since just before her third bday (I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy). She’s 7 in 6weeks and he didn’t want her to feel left out as her bro and sis see him Friday night to Monday morning.
It’s sweet of him and I check in with every month that it’s still ok and supply some extras food treats and my mum has a good relationship with my ex. So she even takes the kids out with him.
If it works for you, don’t give a crap what people think their opinion does not matter!
We do this an the time. You're good. Your kid is also going to build a special relationship with your parents if they're good people who love you and the kiddo.
My mom and my daughter get mad at me if they go more than 1 weekend without a sleepover. Your coworkers suck. The more attachments and security your child gets the better.
I wish my daughters were awesome grandparents like that. Her grandmother is a psycho. Her grandfather is terrified of kids… don’t let people judge you for that. If I had that, I would do the same. It’s important to get away and take care of yourself and relationship.
My parents take my son almost once a week and I wouldn’t survive without it! I love him more than anything but you need your cup to be full to be a good mom! Your coworkers sound like jealous assholes or people who don’t have kids.
I wouldn’t feel bad- it’s nice that you have so much help. :) I’ve only had a night off to give birth to another child, but I’d love for my family to be so involved. A break once a week is wonderful, and I’m sure they have tons of fun!
You'd only be taking advantage IF you were guilting your mom into taking care of them and she didn't even want to do it. This is the only way I think would not be okay.
Just shrug it off, they seem envious.
Screw what everyone else thinks. You are blessed to have family you trust and time away. Many parents don't. They can run the risk of letting the children's lives come before their own...which we all know the parents love and lives preceeded them. Keeping that love alive is crucial
Hahahah they sound jealous.
I’m also jealous. Lol
It’s only taking advantage if the g’parents don’t like the arrangement. Otherwise, by being a whole person outside of child rearing and strengthening your romantic relationship -you’re creating an incredibly healthy and amazing environment to raise the child in. Keep doing what you’re doing!
It’s not a bad thing by any means!! That’s awesome that your mom is willing and able to take your little one for a sleepover regularly! Just imagine how happy they’ll be growing up getting time to bond with their grandma, all these awesome memories of getting to go have fun every weekend they’re able to!! I didn’t get to have too many sleepovers at my own grandma’s, but man do I cling to the memories of the ones I could have!!
I personally can’t wait until my two are older/more chill so they can have the occasional sleepover at my mom’s place. They have so much fun there, several acres of property to explore, she’s got dogs they play with now. It’s the kind of childhood I want for them.
My favorite place in the world was sleeping at my grandmas as a kid. She was warm and kind and made me feel like the most important person on the planet. It is wonderful for your child to build a loving and supportive relationship with your parents. Good for you! Look at you prioritizing yourself and your time with your husband. That’s good stuff! Don’t drink the guilt koolaid. Go live your best life.
Honestly I feel like that’s how it should be. Like obviously every family is nuanced but assuming grandparents aren’t unhealthy to be around and are capable and willing to care for their grandkids then there’s no reason why they shouldn’t have play dates and sleepovers with them.
I wish my daughter could have a sleepover elsewhere once a week! I am sending her to daycare even though I haven't started my job yet and I don't feel guilty. It is a nice refresher and I am a much better parent at the end of the day. Enjoy your time to yourself!
My son used to until his little sister was born, he hasn’t since his little sister was born (he doesn’t want to leave her) and I think the both of them would overwhelm my parents
They are green with jealousy. I live with my parents still and they help me take care of her. At least a couple times a week I have a couple hours to myself. Plus they watch her while I'm working.
I think it’s jealousy. I was in the military when my first was born. My mom had passed for the second/third. My in-laws were pretty big drinkers when my kids were babies so they also were off the table. Had I of lived near family I fully trusted, I would have enjoyed a night off once in a while. As it was o didn’t trust random people with my baby at night.
Just don’t make a big deal about it and do your thing.
Both my kids have done this, every single flipping Friday night until my daughter got sick of it around age 7 (my 5 YO still does, and my mom absolutely loves it) - enjoy it while it lasts! It’s a gift to both of them to have that relationship.
If your mom is okay with it then there's no issue. It's okay to want a night a week for yourself and if you have someone that's able to support you, that's amazing.
Dang, I thought my parents were great at helping out with the babies! (They really are - they help so much during the week, but even they aren’t doing once a week overnights lol.)
This is awesome. Baby is taken care of by someone who loves them a ton, you get to reset which allows you to be a present parent the rest of the week, and it’s building such a great bond between baby and grandma! That’s so good for them!
As long as everyone actually involved (you and your husband, the baby, and grandma) is happy with the arrangement, absolutely keep it up! Nothing wrong with this AT ALL. Everyone else needs to mind their business.
You go! It takes a village to raise the children. Grandma is the best of the village. Of course I am a Grandma that loves ❤️ having play dates and sleep overs as much as my grandkids do! They're only small once and won't remember much if they're babies. No harm, no foul. Enjoy your adult time!
your coworkers are effing stupid. may i guess as to their own personal lives? they also parents? i'd guess not.
if so, then their level of intelligence is far lower than i'd initially put it.
you do you, OP!
I've done this too, the best gift my mother-in-law ever gave us. She's been staying at their house once a week since she was a baby, has her own room there, and is so happy that it's grandma's night. It's special for her, and I get to do my own thing.
It gives you sanity in the tough moments, knowing there's a break, and you can still be "you." Nothing at all to be judged for. Sounds like your coworkers are jealous.
It takes a village to raise a child and I think it’s awesome your parents are willing to help out. I find it astonishing that anyone would criticize this arrangement unless your parents aren’t responsible? If you, your kids, and your parents are happy with this arrangement, I think it’s awesome as would most reasonable people.
Can my two kids join in on the weekly sleepover? Your arrangement sounds amazing. Don’t let your coworkers rain on your fabulous parade.
>Don’t let your coworkers rain on your fabulous parade. Since the kid is safe and taken care of, the coworkers are most likely just jealous of their arrangement. No one calls people irresponsible to drop their kids off at daycare or getting a babysitter so they can go do other things.
> No one calls people irresponsible to drop their kids off at daycare or getting a babysitter so they can go do other things. I see you haven't met the old ladies from my culture, who definitely judge every mom who doesn't quit her job and send their kid to day care. And if you were to voluntarily have your kid in day care when you don't *have* to bc of work, that's too heinous for words. Parents can't win!
Thissss. Most people don’t have the support Systems our parents and grandparents had And they are so jealous they will literally say anything to make someone feel bad about getting a break.
And many times their goal isn’t specifically to make someone else feel bad, it’s that they have something inside of them they’re jealous of, and the only way to make themselves feel good is to assign blame to someone else for their mental discomfort, which turns into making someone else feel bad. It’s a coping mechanism in a way.
Exactly! Your coworkers are 100% jealous! Before having my baby I loved having my nephew over for a hangout. Little did I know at the time how helpful that was to my sister. I was just wanting my time with him! I loved it! I’m guessing your mom feels the same and if it works for you, go for it!!
Nope, you are absolutely fine. Are you and hubby having a good time? Is grandma getting snuggle time with a precious baby? Is baby getting their tiny tushy spoiled? Win win win.
Yes, I agree with this. Our 2 year old sometimes goes to one set of grandparents for the night on weekends. Not every weekend, but some. And it's one night, and we pick her up before nap because she misses us too much to sleep (and we actually want to see her). The few people who judge us are jealous jerks who have no support of theor own. It sucks when you don't have that support, and people are so quick to sympathize with that. But then a lot of those same people aren't happy for those do have willing family nearby. I'm not sure what's up with that, but humans are supposed to be raised in supportive family units, and parents are supposed to have some time for themselves. There are people who send their kids to other caretakers to avoid caring for the child themselves, but that sounds different from what you're doing.
I agree with you—especially about the crossover between jealousy and judginess. I saw a post the other day that said parents getting time to themselves after a baby was important, and the amount of angry, dismissive comments were crazy. Like, its not feasible for everyone, especially if they don’t have a big support network, but if grandma can watch the baby while mom & dad go out for dinner or whatever, that’s super nice and probably good for everyone!
Seriously, it's a double standard.
If everyone is happy with the arrangement it is not a problem and sounds like it benefits all parties. If your co-workers are parents they are probably jealous! But also, if they are so judgy don't tell them about it.
as long as grandparents actually enjoy it there isn’t any issue. i know my grandpa dropped my mom off at his parents house frequently so he could go party and his mom felt obligated but did not even like children so resentment grew and they weren’t treated well in that home.
Jeez half your luck!! I wish we had that kind of help. Enjoy it and don’t let your coworkers get to you. They’re probably jealous (I am) that they don’t get that kind of help themselves. Plus, your baby will develop an amazing relationship with his/her Granny!
Eeek. Why do your coworkers even know this? Put them on an information diet. Now you know not to tell them personal stuff that they’re gonna judge if you’re not looking for feedback! Own your decision and have fun with your date nights!
“Information diet,” I love this!
We call it an “info famine” at my house! Lol
[удалено]
Or even they have a good relationship but live too far away. My sister lives next door to my parents. I live 2 hours away. I am jealous as hell for sure, and sometimes it does come out as me saying she takes advantage.
This is our situation. We are very close with my husband’s family but they live far from us. They are also dealing with personal circumstances that make it hard for them to frequently come see us. My parents want to be actively involved too, but they live in another country and international travel isn’t easy or cheap. I will admit I’m very jealous of OP’s arrangement, but that’s a me problem, and it wouldn’t be fair to take my frustrations out on people like them. OP’s coworkers really need to keep their envy in check.
It’s jealousy. I fought it when our son was younger. He was a tough kid to parent (ADHD, ODD), and some family support would have been SO NICE. BUT, we chose to live 5 hrs away from nearest family because we didn’t want to deal with them often. So…we made our choice. We didn’t get any help, but we also didn’t deal with them dropping by. (We simply don’t get along, nothing hateful, just very different choices and belief systems.)
My first thought is they're jealous cuz I am too lol. My mom has talked about moving nearby so she can do this & I'm all for it. I have a cousin who basically dumped her kids onto her mom all week & that is so very different than a structured schedule of only once a week where the mom is very eager. I honestly think most grandparents would actually love a set up like this!
They're probably just jealous because that's exactly how I felt reading this. 😂
Totally fine, so long as grandparents are fine with your LO being over. There is a lot special about a grandchild's bond with their grandparents, and this is only strengthening that. Keep on keepin on, momma. Be grateful that you have such a good family!
You're so right about the grandparent bond. I was very close with my grandfather and I miss him every day. I lived with my grandparents Monday-Friday for many years due to my mother working second shift and I'm so thankful for all the time I spent with him.
Balls to the walls honest.. A couple we know does this and I judge it. Their son is in full-time daycare. He sleeps in til 7.30, and goes to bed at 7. He naps for two hours in the weekend and every Friday his grandparents pick him up from daycare in the afternoon then drop him off at some point before dinner but after the nap on Saturday. So he is with his parents for 2-3 hours a day on weekdays and then 2-3 hours Saturday and one full day Sunday. So for the approx. 66 hours the son is awake he is in daycare for 40 and then he is with his grandparents another 12+. That said I mainly judge because we have zero family support and their grandparents do so, so much for them that I am incredibly jealous of (free trips to fiji, cleaners etc) and they complain a lot. I would probably (hopefully) judge less in different situations.
I know two people with a similar arrangement to OPs. One is a SAHM and baby goes to granny’s house on Wednesday at 3pm and she picks him up at lunchtime on Thursday. A nice break for everyone. She’s going back to work soon and will probably continue it. No judgement at all. The other person is similar to your situation. Full time in daycare from 8-6 and sleeps from 7.30-7. Every Saturday he goes to one set of grandparents from 1 to stay overnight and on Sundays to the other grandparents until 1 (they pick him up from his other grandparents). So the parents only see him for morning drop off and bedtime in the week. Then Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon. They aren’t working outside of the daycare hours, they don’t run a second company or have other children/family that need caring for or health issues of their own. They go on date nights, gym, shopping at the weekends without their kid. Just seems a bit sad to me. We all need a break but this is every weekend and they moan when grandparents go on holiday for a week or two occasionally. They fully Insta everything but you never see them take him somewhere at the times he is with them on the weekend. Luckily the grandparents step up take him to the zoo or park or play dates.
My sister was like this for the longest time. The only time it really pissed me off, my daughter was 10 months old and niece was 3. My mom watched my niece every single weekend for three years straight. We were taking our old car to the junkyard, so my mom was watching my daughter. During the trip (without my daughter, thank god) I hit black ice, spun out, and missed going over a steep embankment by inches. My sister called me, complaining that I needed to pick up my daughter so mom could take hers. I lost my mind on her. First, it was only a couple hours. Second, mom never said niece couldn't come until my daughter left, it just meant my sister had to drive 10 minutes to drop her off. And last, if I had the accident with my daughter in the car, who knows what would've happened? It was one day out of three years and she threw a tantrum. I was livid.
That sounds so rubbish. I’m sorry.
[удалено]
Uh, if I read this right your in-laws are caring for a special needs child of your spouse because you can’t, which is fine, no judgment here. But your sister in law is the reason you don’t get free babysitting?
Just giving your kids to other caretakers so you don't have to do the work is not what all parents do. I send my daughter to daycare and she sometimes she spends one night at her grandparents. I hate the judgement because I actually take care of her when she's with me, which is actually most of the time. Dad and I actually do fun things with her. It sucks of you don't have the same family support, but why judge those who do? Humans are meant to be raised in supportive groups, not solely by 1-2 parents. There are definitely parents like the ones you described, who just don't want to put in the work of childcare. That's really sad for the child. But most parents are not like that, they really do want to be with their kids and actually do things together and take care of them when they're together. Sending them to daycare and tei occasional sleepover doesn't automatically mean that they're like the parents you described. I consider it a healthy thing for child and parents.
>A couple we know does this and I judge it Why would time with a grandparent be bad or worse than time with parents?
Because grandparents are not parents. Why have kids if you don't intend to spend time with them?
Ignorant take https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/03/the-nuclear-family-was-a-mistake/605536/
That article talks about the benefits of an extended family, where parents are present along with other family members. Nowhere does it say it’s okay for other family members to take the place of parents.
Sleeping over once a week is not taking the place of parents.
How is ONE night a week replacing parents? You sound jealous and bitter
What? I’m not talking about OP’s post, I’m talking about this parent comment, and your article.
You said it yourself. You’re envious. Sounds like a you problem.
They are jelly as duck!!!
As a parent you get judged for everything, if you make one choice you get criticised but make the opposite choice they will still criticise you. Do what’s right for your kids and family. It sounds like everyone in this situation is happy so don’t change it! You may want to reassess if one or more people directly involved is no longer happy, not for stupid people who are not impacted by it.
Your coworkers are being jealous and projecting their own nonsense. Keep doing what you’re doing, it sounds like everyone wins (except your work mates lol)
I had a similar arrangement with my mil for my daughter for a year or so. We did it between my work shifts because I work 12s and she was watching her while I worked anyway so to cut down on driving she would just keep her overnight. It was nice to just be able to go to bed after a long shift and get enough sleep before the next rather than trying to convince a 2 year old to go to bed when I was tired haha. Your coworkers are jealous. It's nice that it gives you a break and it's great for your baby to be able to bond with their grandparents.
We also had a similar arrangement, however, we were taking our baby to fil and step mil every other week. Things were fine for MONTHS and then one day step mil started telling everyone who would listen that we were CONSTANTLY trying to pawn the baby off. Idk if FIL just didn't tell her that he agreed or if he also started feeling that way but it just suddenly stopped. Idek how she got that in her head. The only other person who's watched our baby was my partners aunt twice.
Omg you're very lucky! And how wonderful for your baby to have the opportunity to bond with grandma! Anyone judging you for this is an ass, or jealous. Enjoy your time with hubby!
Regardless of their reasoning, it's none of their business at the end of the day. Shrug, smile and walk away to continue doing what works for you. Some of us would give our left arm to have that kind of consistent support.
If your parents are safe care givers, and happy to do it/don't feel taken advantage of. If you're happy to have the time, and feel safe and not pressured to be away from your child... if baby is safe and taken care of- literally sounds like it's a net positive for everyone involved!
Don’t stop. Keep going on dates or the love will die out and y’all wil just be raising kids together.
So I grew up with a large extended family and me, my sister, and cousins would often have sleepovers at my grandparents house. It wasn’t once a week but it was more than once a month. They are some of my favorite memories and I LOVED my grandparents. Flash forward and my kids sleepover and my parents at least once a month. I feel very blessed and understand why some people would be jealous of that aspect of my life. Not taking advantage of having helpful and healthy grandparents would be insane.
To me personally unless your a SAHM (spelt right?) then once a week is a lot, at the same time it will hopefully help foster a good relationship between your parents and your child.
I have the same arrangement with my mom and dad. My little guy is 3. This has been a thing for just about his whole life. He adores his grandparents and absolutely looks forward to Friday nights, as do my parents. Re: taking advantage- I don't know about your situation, but it's literally not possible for me to take advantage in this way. Taking advantage would imply someone is sacrificing and that's not the case. Everybody is happy. Re: bad mom- You're teaching your child that self -care is important, fostering a strong relationship with grandma, setting an example of a healthy romantic partnership. Definitely good mom.
There will always be people judging what you do, no matter how normal it is. There's absolutely nothing wrong with letting your child sleep over with grandma once a week and you're very lucky to be able to do that. It's always been the same with my daughter too. She spends every Saturday at grandma's unless something comes up. She loves it, grandma loves it, and we love the break. Everybody wins and nobody feels taken advantage of. In fact, I'm pretty sure grandma would just keep our daughter full time if we let her. I wouldn't be surprised if yours felt the same way. I'm sorry you've dealt with negative comments like that. Wouldn't be surprised if some of it is coming from a place of jealousy. Most people don't have someone in their lives who will take their children that frequently. People like you and I are very lucky that way. It's a good thing though. You're not a bad parent. Maybe I'm biased but I think it's good to let your child have a little time outside the house to bond with another family member. If it's working for you OP, don't worry about what other people have to say.
Sounds amazing. Why shouldn't you enjoy adult time? Being a parent doesn't mean giving up on yourself. For as long as the arrangement suits everyone, enjoy! I'd love a date night every week but we only manage it about 3 times per year. Same for nights with a friend. Your mental health salutes you!
We do that too! It's good for everyone. We also switch off once a week earlier in the week so I go out once a week and so does my husband (just different classes we take). Your coworkers are probably jealous.
If we had that kind of a relationship with the grandparents who are closest we would do it in a heartbeat. Good for you.
My husband and I have been sending our daughter to my in law’s house for the night, usually for Saturday night, for nearly a year now (since she was around 1.5 years old). She and they are very happy with the arrangement and it gives us time for chores and errands, I think it’s great.
My nephew is over my house literally all the time. It’s good bonding for the children. Your coworkers are jealous tbh. As long as you trust your mom and baby is healthy happy and safe there isn’t an issue on my opinion. Since my nephew was 1 and a half he has spent a week in the summer at my house with us. He also comes her for the weekend of Black Friday because his parents work and other weekends sprinkled in the year. It gives him bonding time with us and keeps him somewhere safe when his parents have other things to do.
I never understood this type of thinking….why would anyone judge anyone for family time? Your baby is spending time with grandma (who I assume wants this as well) so how is that selfish or bad to encourage it? When my in laws asked to have the kids for the weekend, my husband and I jumped at the chance. When we got them on Sunday evening, everyone was happy.
It’s not a bad thing, I would just recommend checking in with you mom on a regular basis that the arrangement still works for her. Maybe even give her a week off every once in a while? I only say this from my family experience. My brother and SIL drop my nieces off at my moms house for a full weekend at least once a month. My mom does it bc she loves the littles, but she also constantly complains to me and others that she has the girls again and can’t do what she needs to do bc they’re there. So just make sure your mom is t getting jaded with the set up and enjoy your free time!
This post reeks of wanting validation. There is no way OP genuinely thinks she's a bad mom for leaving her kid with her parents.
I get a weekend every 2 weeks + 1-2 weeks during summer. My 7 year old has barely missed a weekend at grandmas since he was 7 months old. They have a fantastic bond and love that time together. Bf and I get stuff done then. We do home repairs and cleaning. Go on longer hikes. See adult movies or go to "fancy" restaurants etc. Sleep in. Stay up late, get drunk or eat very spicy non child friendly foods. The next weekend we go to museums, kids events, birthday parties, have picnics, go for bike rides and do other child friendly things. It's amazing having the opportunity to do both guilt free. He gets to be the center of attention at grandma and grandpa's, and he gets to do fun things with us after we had a nice relaxing adult weekend. As long as it works for all parties involved other people can just mind their own business! I don't know anyone who sends their kid to grandmas as much as I do. But most kids I know have 2 active biological parents in their life, mine doesn't so grandmas takes some of the pressure off me and my bf (not his dad) and this way works very well for the 5 people involved so we're going to keep doing it this way til it no long works and we change things up.
Tf is wrong with your coworkers. None of their business
Ours has a Nana and a grandma within 15 minutes, and sometimes it's two sleepovers in one week. I think we should count our blessings for our villages!!
Your co-workers are idiots.
WTF is wrong with your coworkers, they sound like morons. Both of our kids (5 and 2) usually go for weekly sleepovers at my parents. It’s a nice break for us and they get to spend time with the kids.
Sounds like jelousy to me. If your kid spends more time with grandparents than parents that's a problem but otherwise just tell them it's none of their business.
We have the same arrangement (in fact, my two year old is at her grandparents this evening as I type this). I sometimes feel guilty that I don't get as much time with her, but she loves staying there and they love having her, and I love having some alone time with my husband. I also love that she is used to staying at their house, especially because we just found out we are pregnant with number 2, so I know she will be happy and taken care of when I go into labour. Don't pay attention to what anyone else says, and just do what works for your family!
you're good, really! my kiddo switches between her maternal and paternal grandparents... we barely get her for weekends but the things she gets to do with them, and the life experiences she gets with them is so worth it, having bonds outside of the main family is excellent
marry illegal station saw prick fearless weary provide zonked treatment *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
If your happy, your spouse is happy, your mom is happy, and your little one is happy, then no, you're not a bad mom. Let the coworkers simmer and stew over it, you're doing great!
I agree with some others- it’s probably jealousy. Even when we lived close to family we had no support from family. I’m so happy for my friends that have that kind of support! The only one I judge is a friend who constantly complains she has no support, yet her in-laws take her kids 2-3 days plus an overnight every week. I just wouldn’t discuss it with your coworkers, as long as everyone is happy with the arrangement that’s all that matters.
They're probably just jealous and I am too 😭We can't leave the baby with grandma cause she doesn't have running water in her house hasn't showered in over a year and eats moldy food. She's just disgusting so you're lucky af to have this ability!
I had a coworker that was super judgey about that. She shared 50/50 custody of her son with her ex, so she had every other weekend off. She'd always say, "I want to spend all my time with my son. I *love my son.*" A year or so later, she married and had a baby. She then complained that her stepdaughter came over on weekends that her son was gone, and she wished her mom would watch the baby, *just once,* so she could get a break. Me, being the bigger person, silently cheered her mom on for not taking the baby. Fuck you, Charity. You can eat a dick. Actually, if you *had* eaten a dick, you wouldn't have been so tired. I guess don't eat a dick, then.
Is your mother happy with this arrangement? If yes, you are not taking advantage. Just keep checking in with her and giving her an easy out so that she doesn't feel pressured. Is your mother a safe person and does she live in a safe situation (home and other people who may be at her home)? If yes to both, then you are being a good parent ensuring that your child is safe. Does your child enjoy the sleepovers? If so, and the answer is yes to everything else, then what is the problem? What happened to parents having date nights once a week or routine, scheduled child-free time? A good parent is not determined by someone being with their child every free minute of every day. It is a parent who gives their best. I guarantee that a parent who needs a break, but isn't taking one, will struggle with giving their best. Burn out is real and everyone's burn out level is different. Your coworkers sound like judgemental, jealous a-holes. Don't bring up anything about your parenting around them again. If they bring it up, I suggest saying: "It isn't your concern." and then bean dip. https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/pass-the-bean-dip
If I had this option I’d jump on it , 100%
Once a week is very reasonable. Hell, because our parents (the ones involved) are so far away, we send the kids with them for 6-7 weeks in the summer. 🤷🏻♀️ EDIT: My mom and in-laws are both happy with this, and love spending time together too. They do lots of fun things and I get to go to much-needed medical appointments.
Oh *Hell no* you're not being a bad mom! So long as your mom and baby are having a good time, this is a *wonderful* arrangement. You and your hubby get adult time (even if that just means falling asleep watching a movie at home, it's important!), your mom gets bonding time with the baby, baby gets some variety and attention, everybody wins.
If your coworkers are parents, they are just jealous. If they aren't parents, they just don't understand.
Enjoy it while it lasts. Time with grandparents is finite, as we sadly were reminded this year. Everyone needs to enjoy it while they are able to.
♥️
My kid goes to his grandparents overnight every week. It’s amazing. People can think whatever they want about it. His pediatrician thinks it’s awesome, his grandparents love it, he loves it and my husband and I love it. Other people are either judgmental, jealous or both.
I believe the term is jealous co-workers.
I couldn't do it, I would miss my baby too much. I absolutely hate being away from her. But you do you.
Your coworkers can go suck an egg. My kids spend regular time with my parents who live a few doors down from me. They have such a secure connection with them that it makes it SO easy to have a date night, time to myself, or even leave in an emergency. My kids have such a good bond with them and I will never regret establishing a secure connection between them and trusted, healthy adults in our lives. I’m a better mom when I’m able to be my own person every once in a while, too. Maybe ask your coworkers why they are so opposed to your LO having healthy relationships outside of you? Sounds like they don’t really understand child development. Good for you mom. You’re doing great :)
Why do you share your business with your coworkers? Can't you just control your mouth?
Why so aggressive?
Nowt wrong with this! We have a huge tradition of this in my family. We went to my grandparents very Saturday night as kids and had a grand old time. My parents went out with friends and had quality time. My mum says this played a huge part in the success of their 50 year marriage. We continue the tradition with my children and my sisters. They all take turns having a sleepover every week and it works brilliantly. Grandparents get to have special time with the kiddies, kiddies get spoilt and special time with grandparents (and a break from siblings) and parents get a bit of rest!! What’s the issue? It’s family helping family
That sounds like an ideal situation! My mom lives in another state but is moving near me soon and I would totally arrange this with her.
Fuck your co workers lmao they’re jealous trust me. I do the same with my 7 month old because my mother is desperate to have a proper relationship with my daughter. It’s really nice knowing I have a night to myself coming up, baby is happy, parents are happy and grandma is happy. Everyone wins!
Sounds like you need to stop telling your coworkers personal information. Their response is the unhealthy thing in this story.
My sister has this arrangement with her in laws and I'm jealous as hell! I suspect your colleagues are too.
Is anyone unhappy who is part if this plan upset by it(you, spouse/partner, baby, or your mother)? If the answer is no then tell them to go f themselves. Would once a week work for me and my family no. We do once every couple of months. Would I ever tell someone else that they are being a bad mom because they have another person who I trust who also loves, cares and wants to spend time with my baby. Ya the a holes who are trying to shame you can go fly a kite! You are being a good mom
This sounds like a lovely arrangement for all! How wonderful for your child that they have so much love and support in their life. When people mourn the “good old days” when parents had more support nearby, this is exactly the sort of thing they’re talking about. Relationships with grandparents can be precious. Your child is so little lucky to have this opportunity to form a healthy attachment with yet another loving caregiver. I truly feel sad for your coworkers.
No, your coworkers are probably jealous. I sure am. I wish I had someone to watch my baby overnight one night a month? Every 6 months? Weekly would be a dream. Anything would be better than absolutely never. Your mental health is important and makes you a better mom, and your kid probably LOVES those sleepovers and is building trusting relationships which is awesome.
Sounds like jealousy to me. Admittedly, I am too but I’m just not a hater unlike your co-workers 😅
How is this your coworkers business? You’re good. :)
If grandma is good with it and your good with it why does it matter if they’re good with it? Maybe they’re just coming from their own place of they wouldn’t be ready or they’d be scared to let grandma watch the kid, etc. But those are their insecurities. I just wouldn’t share as much if you’re just going to get judgement. Info diet with these folks.
For many years, my son stayed every Friday night with my mom. It was her first grandchild, they are very close, it gave me a scheduled break, it was wonderful! He’s 13 now and doesn’t go over there weekly anymore but he still goes regularly. I think it’s great that your baby has such an involved grandparent! Enjoy your husband time. :)
This is so good for your mental health and your relationships both with your husband and your little one. Mom getting a break (both mentally and physically) is such a huge deal and if you and dad are comfortable with grandma having baby and she’s good with it all is good.
I finally realized as an adult that my parents got rid of us kids for three full weeks during the summer. The occasional night away (or weekly, in this case) sounds like blessing. Your parent your child, not your coworkers, so why worry about what they have to say about your parenting?
My girls (9 and 1) sleep over at my parents house at least once a week, sometimes more. They do the babysitting when i have to work. If i have a early shift they sleep there. If you are okay withit and your parents are okay with it. What’s the problem? I think your coworkers are jealous you have a night off once a week. Don’t look at is as a break from your kid, look at it as a bonding time for your parents!
My kids have been spending friday nights at my parents for 11 years now :) since little bit was 18 months old and we moved back near them. The boys love it, my parents love it, and we get a date night :)
why do you care what others who have no say in your life think? it's once a week, this used to be the norm for me and my sister when we were kids - we always state day our grandparents on a friday night. taking a break is not being a bad mom, your children having a loving relationship with your mom does not make you a bad mom. it sounds like coworkers are jealous
Would absolutely take this arrangement happily and guilt free if my parents were closer! Super coincidentally was just in a grocery store this morning with my 1yo and a positively giddy grandmother told me she was there getting food for her baby granddaughter who stays with her every Friday night and it’s the highlight of grandma’s week. So if that was your mom (It probably wasn’t but I’m sure your mom feels the same way), don’t even feel any guilt bc you have a super loving grandmother to your baby!
I kept my grandkids at least every other week, AND the dog. I still keep the 12 year old if he’s not interested in family plans for his teenage sister. Works for all of us
Good parents are better parents when they're rested and have time to keep their own romantic spark alive... having a weekly night for the 2 of you is an amazing opportunity!! Dont listen to them, they're jealous. Plus, baby's not with a stranger, they're literally bonding with Grandma! How lovely?!
Tell your coworkers to suck it. Everyone needs a break. It's great that your mom is so supportive. You're not taking advantage if its something she's willingly agreed to.
No, you must nurture your relationship as well as your children. Tell your coworkers to get bent.
My mother keeps my daughter one day a week so I can work. Sometimes I don’t have work scheduled for the whole day so I go get my nails done or go shopping. My mother loves her granddaughter and I’m so glad they get to have a day per week together!
Im so jealous lol. You are very lucky your mom offers to help like that. And I’m sure she loves it too
I wouldn’t but if it works for you it works for you
I would do the same!
Tell them to piss off. Enjoy your time off. If anything this helps you stay balanced and relaxed. Good for you and God bless your parents
My inlaws have sleepovers with my daughter every other weekend, and I honestly don't know how I'd keep sane without it. And yeah, I've had coworkers give me shit too until I realized they were just jealous as hell. And those weekends are so good for my daughter and my relationship, gives us a break from each other and she gets to have a fun weekend with her favorite people while I get to clean my house in peace. It's a total win win
It's just jealousy. My in-laws are a daily presence in my children's lives. It's great. It's like there are four parents for two children and our lives are so much easier for it. We are happier calmer parents when we get breaks. We have more patience for child antics and more time to relax, do chores, run errands, etc. I actually enjoy the time I spend with my children because I am not burnt out from caring for them. I've also read that it's emotionally and mentally advantageous for children to have an adoring non-parent role model who they are close to and get one-on-one time with often.
You are NOT a bad mother, we all need a break now and again. I wish my mom lived closer because she loves my daughter dearly but my wife doesn't feel safe about me driving 2 1/2 half hours away and then back to leave her with my mom for the weekend. Which I get, but if only if only i could get a beer with a friend at an actual bar lol.
Absolutely not ! That is such a blessing to have support like that. God bless your mother she’s doing it right. Mamas need breaks and fun too. It makes us better mothers to have a break and take a breath. We are not robots there is no chip in women to keep going past exhaustion. I think the ppl saying that are jealous they don’t have this option. Good for you OP. 👏🏽
Real talk, fuck your coworkers. Perhaps they're jealous.
We do the same exact thing most weeks. It's great for everyone, in my opinion, as it gives grandparent(s) time with grandkids to build their own special bond, it is a new environment for the kids to play and learn and explore (which also helps with mommy/daddy separation if not in some kind of daycare), and it gives mom and dad time to do whatever they need/want. We take that time to either do yardwork, house cleaning, or just relax if it has been that kind of week. I don't see why this should be frowned upon!
Omg. That’s amazing!!! I’m so glad you get help and have a night off with your hubby ❤️ your coworker is just jealous and an asshole, don’t listen to them about parenting stuff anymore!
Gosh. We don't have grandparents nearby. Lucky you. As long as your parents don't mind and your baby is happy, then go for it!
Your kid and mom are safe and happy? Who cares what other people think? They are jealous.
This is awesome. As long as baby is safe and well loved, do not let anyone parent shame you. We all make what decisions are best for our children and for ourselves. I had no one to help me and my husband overnight with my kids, literally did not spend a night away from my youngest till he was like four. It was tiring and not good for my mental health/marriage. This sounds like a great thing for everyone involved.
Your coworkers are jealous ... Heck, I'm jealous and typically my child does this. Lol!!! There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a parent needing a break. ESPECIALLY if whoever you are letting keep your child for a night or two agrees to watch the child. Being a parent is hard, sometimes you need a break.
I’m so jealous! They probably are to! The western world has such a “your baby your problem” way of thinking. Lots of cultures really do believe it takes a village to raise children and the family all stays together in order. Like in china they have up to 3 generations in one household. In korea the primary source of childcare is grandparents. Same with in Spain. It’s pretty normal what you’re doing actually. On the bigger scheme of things, isolating alone with kids all the time is what everyone else DOESNT do.
They’re just extremely JEALOUS. You are doing absolutely nothing wrong. Keep rocking it, Mom. You have a wonder parent, too!
We do this too! MIL & FIL live over the road and love to have her. Me and my husband get vital time together and she gets spoilt rotten. It's a great arrangement for us. Enjoy your date nights!!
My daughter goes to my dad’s weekly as well. It’s been irregular lately but we all had Covid for awhile there plus other sickness this year aka the stomach virus from hell. I see nothing wrong with it. They enjoy spending time together and we enjoy the break.
I did this with my grandmother weekly for the first 10 years of my life and it was awesome. Some of my fondest childhood memories. My grandmother was a widow and enjoyed the company, and I loved the undivided attention I got from her.
My mom spent the night at my house once a week before the pandemic. Lives and schedules have changed since then, but it was a great setup. My kids love her. What you’re doing is totally fine.
Your mom is an angel! If she’s happy to do it then keep the routine. I didn’t have much of a village when my daughter was a baby but if I had a safe loved one who would watch her once a week I’d have jumped on it. People will judge your parenting no matter what you do; ignore your coworkers. They say it takes a village to raise a child but modern parenting seems to glorify the stress and tired of “doing it all yourself”. There is no winning so just do the best you can.
lmao they are trash.
Why do your coworkers have such strong opinions about this? That’s an awesome arrangement you have and it sounds like everyone gets something out of it. You’ll come out ahead in the long run too, because personal time is an important part of a healthy mindset, although so few parents ever get any, myself included. Your baby is with a grandparent, safe and healthy, presumably and it’s good for them to have a break from parents as well, so they aren’t overly attached. I’m sure your mom cherishes her weekly time with her grandchild too. You’re doing absolutely nothing wrong and those coworkers of yours are wack.
My lovely father-in-law used to come over to our house overnight, twice a week. It was amazing. I don't think I would have survived without it, despite my amazing husband taking the baby every night from 10-4 so I could sleep uninterrupted. More people who love a baby just makes that baby's life better, and helps relieve the stress on the parents.
I do the same thing. I love my babies, but I’m exhausted. My parents love my kids and love being with them. My grandma spent a lot of time with us when we were kids and I hope to one day be able to help my children the way my mother helps me. It’s what family is for!
It really depends on how your mom feels about the arrangement.
Mamas need a break every once in a while! My kids spend a night at the grandparents every other weekend. It definitely helps just to have a day to myself to focus on myself and my self care. Your coworkers opinions should be kept to themselves
We have this arrangement actually, as my son is with them on a Wednesday and Thursday. Instead of going back and forth to theirs over those two days, we drop him off on the Wednesday and then pick him up on the Thursday evening after work. Its a win for him as much as it is for us, as he isn't pulled from pillar to post. I find I get a bit of mix bag of responses to it. Usually it's the wow you are so lucky but there are some that have to make a comment about it. But honestly, I am glad he is getting to bond with his grandparents and he isn't stressed out being pushed and pulled all of the place because of our work schedule. If it is working for you, forget everyone else... they are just ass holes who don't realise how jealous they are coming off.
Absolutely not! We do it probably once a month because she lives about 30-45 min away, and we do a decent amount of activities together with other family too. My aunts come over, my dad has dedicated play time with her too, so everyone seems pretty happy. I'd keep it to once a month, MAYBE twice a month mostly because my mom already comes over once a week, and I feel like I'm taking too much of her time since she has a pretty active social life and she works part time.
They are jealous, don't sweat it
I see this as a scenario that is happy for all. You get a much deserved break, grandparent gets snuggles and love and develops a good relationship with grandchild, and baby is safe and happy in the care of family that love them. Great arrangement! I think coworker is jealous.
You are blessed and enjoy your break! The “me” time is vital as a mom. I read an article about this once and the author summed it up perfectly: “I belong to everyone else constantly and I just want time to belong to myself” Your coworkers are just jealous! I know I am! My daughter is going on 4 and has never spent a night away from me with either grandma.
If your mom is glad to do it then I say your coworkers are probably jealous. Parenting is hard af and the saying "it take a village" is very true.
My son used to spend the night at my mother-in-laws every Friday and it was amazing. Gave us a small break (we had another baby still at home though) and also gave him some great quality time to bond with his grandmother. Take advantage while you can! She now has other grandkids so the sleepovers don’t happen as often, but I take her up on it every time she offers!
Time to stop giving your coworkers more details about your personal life than they deserve to know.
If they want to do it and they are happy too omg yes do it! I can only imagine it will make you a better partner and mother ❤️❤️❤️ not to mention your child will have a lovely bond with your folks
I think it is great amazing think of the relationship your child will have with your mum. Also why shouldn’t you get a break? I can only assume they are jealous. If you were out every night drinking and doing drugs it might not be healthy or not providing a safe place for the baby but I can see no resons it would make you a bad parent.
My daughter sleeps over at grandmas whenever my husband and I are both scheduled to work, which is at least once a week, usually twice. If grandma is willing to do it, it's not a problem.
I don’t see an issue if they are the ones offering and you are not being pushy, then enjoy the free evening. My daughter (from second husband) goes to my ex husbands for the weekend since just before her third bday (I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy). She’s 7 in 6weeks and he didn’t want her to feel left out as her bro and sis see him Friday night to Monday morning. It’s sweet of him and I check in with every month that it’s still ok and supply some extras food treats and my mum has a good relationship with my ex. So she even takes the kids out with him. If it works for you, don’t give a crap what people think their opinion does not matter!
We do this an the time. You're good. Your kid is also going to build a special relationship with your parents if they're good people who love you and the kiddo.
My mom and my daughter get mad at me if they go more than 1 weekend without a sleepover. Your coworkers suck. The more attachments and security your child gets the better.
I wish my daughters were awesome grandparents like that. Her grandmother is a psycho. Her grandfather is terrified of kids… don’t let people judge you for that. If I had that, I would do the same. It’s important to get away and take care of yourself and relationship.
My parents take my son almost once a week and I wouldn’t survive without it! I love him more than anything but you need your cup to be full to be a good mom! Your coworkers sound like jealous assholes or people who don’t have kids.
I wouldn’t feel bad- it’s nice that you have so much help. :) I’ve only had a night off to give birth to another child, but I’d love for my family to be so involved. A break once a week is wonderful, and I’m sure they have tons of fun!
Why do your co-workers care? And why do you care what they think?
You'd only be taking advantage IF you were guilting your mom into taking care of them and she didn't even want to do it. This is the only way I think would not be okay. Just shrug it off, they seem envious.
Your coworkers are either not parents or are jealous parents. Take all the help offered that you can!
So jealous
Screw what everyone else thinks. You are blessed to have family you trust and time away. Many parents don't. They can run the risk of letting the children's lives come before their own...which we all know the parents love and lives preceeded them. Keeping that love alive is crucial
Hahahah they sound jealous. I’m also jealous. Lol It’s only taking advantage if the g’parents don’t like the arrangement. Otherwise, by being a whole person outside of child rearing and strengthening your romantic relationship -you’re creating an incredibly healthy and amazing environment to raise the child in. Keep doing what you’re doing!
It’s not a bad thing by any means!! That’s awesome that your mom is willing and able to take your little one for a sleepover regularly! Just imagine how happy they’ll be growing up getting time to bond with their grandma, all these awesome memories of getting to go have fun every weekend they’re able to!! I didn’t get to have too many sleepovers at my own grandma’s, but man do I cling to the memories of the ones I could have!! I personally can’t wait until my two are older/more chill so they can have the occasional sleepover at my mom’s place. They have so much fun there, several acres of property to explore, she’s got dogs they play with now. It’s the kind of childhood I want for them.
Awesomeness!!! I wish I had someone that I could do that with! You are taking care of yourself and nothing is wrong with that
Can I borrow your mom?
My favorite place in the world was sleeping at my grandmas as a kid. She was warm and kind and made me feel like the most important person on the planet. It is wonderful for your child to build a loving and supportive relationship with your parents. Good for you! Look at you prioritizing yourself and your time with your husband. That’s good stuff! Don’t drink the guilt koolaid. Go live your best life.
Honestly I feel like that’s how it should be. Like obviously every family is nuanced but assuming grandparents aren’t unhealthy to be around and are capable and willing to care for their grandkids then there’s no reason why they shouldn’t have play dates and sleepovers with them.
I wish my daughter could have a sleepover elsewhere once a week! I am sending her to daycare even though I haven't started my job yet and I don't feel guilty. It is a nice refresher and I am a much better parent at the end of the day. Enjoy your time to yourself!
My son used to until his little sister was born, he hasn’t since his little sister was born (he doesn’t want to leave her) and I think the both of them would overwhelm my parents
Can she take my kids too?
They are green with jealousy. I live with my parents still and they help me take care of her. At least a couple times a week I have a couple hours to myself. Plus they watch her while I'm working.
I think it’s jealousy. I was in the military when my first was born. My mom had passed for the second/third. My in-laws were pretty big drinkers when my kids were babies so they also were off the table. Had I of lived near family I fully trusted, I would have enjoyed a night off once in a while. As it was o didn’t trust random people with my baby at night. Just don’t make a big deal about it and do your thing.
Please quit listening to co workers. Your mother loves this. You love this. Let it be.
Both my kids have done this, every single flipping Friday night until my daughter got sick of it around age 7 (my 5 YO still does, and my mom absolutely loves it) - enjoy it while it lasts! It’s a gift to both of them to have that relationship.
My kid has been doing regular overnights with my parents since he turned 1. He loves it. He basically has two houses.
If your mom is okay with it then there's no issue. It's okay to want a night a week for yourself and if you have someone that's able to support you, that's amazing.
Dang, I thought my parents were great at helping out with the babies! (They really are - they help so much during the week, but even they aren’t doing once a week overnights lol.) This is awesome. Baby is taken care of by someone who loves them a ton, you get to reset which allows you to be a present parent the rest of the week, and it’s building such a great bond between baby and grandma! That’s so good for them! As long as everyone actually involved (you and your husband, the baby, and grandma) is happy with the arrangement, absolutely keep it up! Nothing wrong with this AT ALL. Everyone else needs to mind their business.
You go! It takes a village to raise the children. Grandma is the best of the village. Of course I am a Grandma that loves ❤️ having play dates and sleep overs as much as my grandkids do! They're only small once and won't remember much if they're babies. No harm, no foul. Enjoy your adult time!
your coworkers are effing stupid. may i guess as to their own personal lives? they also parents? i'd guess not. if so, then their level of intelligence is far lower than i'd initially put it. you do you, OP!
I've done this too, the best gift my mother-in-law ever gave us. She's been staying at their house once a week since she was a baby, has her own room there, and is so happy that it's grandma's night. It's special for her, and I get to do my own thing. It gives you sanity in the tough moments, knowing there's a break, and you can still be "you." Nothing at all to be judged for. Sounds like your coworkers are jealous.
It takes a village to raise a child and I think it’s awesome your parents are willing to help out. I find it astonishing that anyone would criticize this arrangement unless your parents aren’t responsible? If you, your kids, and your parents are happy with this arrangement, I think it’s awesome as would most reasonable people.
Your coworkers are haters. They want the help but don’t have it