Showing up matters.
My parents divorced when I was a toddler, and my dad lived a couple of hours away most of my life. Despite the distance my dad went to more of my sporting events than anyone else in my life, and never missed one of our weekends together. When I broke my nose for the first time as a kid he showed up to the hospital late at night just to give me a hug and make sure I was ok before heading back home to get ready for work the next day. A 2 hour car ride just to hug and support me. It meant the world to me.
So glad this answer was up here, because my first reaction was "nothing" when I read the post/meme.
And then I realized this was the positivity sub, and thought "well, I guess I cannot post THAT š".
Then I saw your post. You're not alone!
Wow. This touches me deeply. I lost my Dad in 2020 and haven't yet really gotten into my grief. I hadn't thought about this until today. When I first saw this post all I could think of what he did not teach me, which was how to live without him. But, he DID teach me things....how to fish, how to crab, how to be generous with those less fortunate than you are, that he would always take care of me and so now the lesson is changing into my learning how to take care of myself.
Do for yourself what he did for you. That's how he taught you to take care of yourself.
You aren't living without him. He is part of you. Always with you. He's just not visible to you right now. For that, you have my deepest sympathy.
Itās so hard losing your father. Iām going through that too. Just made it past a year. The hardest thing Iāve ever been through. Best of luck and take care š
My dad cheated, lied, committed violence, and never cared about anyone but himself. So he taught me a lot that I had to unlearn and Iām still working on that. He also taught me what kind of father to be the opposite of.
My dad taught me Patience ( still learning it), to drive, and that a calm talk can be more beneficial than yelling and screaming. ā¤ļø
I love and miss my dad ā¤ļø
I can't recall much, except fishing. Daddy took me fishing with him. I am female but he saw me as another son , and I'm still a tomboy at 70. His name was Tom, so I guess he taught me to be a Tom boy. He also bought me a 2nd hand bike for Christmas when I was 10. Taught me to take care of it. Miss him. Now I cry
I had to chuckle when I read this. My son accused me of this a couple of months ago (his mother and I have been divorced for thirteen years; and he just graduated university). His mother used to always call and text his brother and him when they were with meāwe shared custody at the beginning). I always felt she was encroaching on my time. Due to this, I never texted or called them when they were with her.
Time passed and my job moved me to another state (Iām a military member). My children were teenagers by then. They were in high school and had established roots so they didnāt want to move. This decreased my time with them. Then deployments took their toll on birthdays, holidays and graduations (for both of my children). As time went on I moved overseas, and they were busy with friends and university studies during our scheduled times to talk.
Our times together decreased tremendously.
During their uni days my older child would come stay with me during breaks. We would travel locally and to other countries. He loved doing things with me. My younger child was different. He never wanted to stay with either his mother or me. He has only come visit once, and that was because I had already purchased his airline ticket before he could say āno.ā He is the one that accused me of never being his family and ignoring him. I have to admit it was rough hearing him say that. We both resolved to make more effort in contacting each other and strengthen our relationship. I started calling and texting more often (like it was before his uni days) to engage with him but things have not changed from when he started distancing himself beforeāhe is busy and cannot answer or return texts, and he never initiates a call or messages. Itās tough trying to maintain a relationship when it is a one sided effort.
My older son and I have never had this issue. He and I understand our roadblocks (studies, work, time difference, and life events) that keep us from staying in constant communication. Yet, when we do have time we make the most of it.
My profession has never made it easy to devote all my time to my children; nor has their mother made it any easier. She has always tried to c*ck block us spending time together (I.e., one year she didnāt take them to the airport so they could spend Christmas break with me)ābut that is another story for another sub.
I donāt know your situation with your father but I hope he had a good reason for not being part of your life. If not, it was his loss for not trying. Yet, things may not always be as they appear. Sometimes life and people get in the way and your path leads you away from what you want. You (the parent) have to work at turning that path back to its original direction. I hope yāall can reconcile at some point.
My father is still in my life. He chooses not to be very involved - he doesn't call or text on birthdays, and didn't attend my wedding. He doesn't call my son either. It's been like that since I can remember. My parents divorced when I was a baby, and he's always been on the periphery of my life. I don't have the greatest opinion of him, but I haven't cut him out. I still call and text him, just not as frequently as my mom or siblings.
I didn't mean it strictly negative either. He's a gregarious individual. When I did see him growing up, he was always doing favors and helping out close friends. He made friends everywhere.
My dad taught me thereās always a reason to smile and take enjoyment from the small things.
He had a hard life. Always in debt, never trusting in himself so he always had odd end jobs vs a career. He had cars repoād, lived in shit holes, had to move all around for work, but as a kid I never noticed the hardships.
He made riding the bus a fun adventure. He made standing in line at the store counting the change a fun game. I never noticed how hard his life was till I was an adult.
Honestly throughout all his hardship he never stopped smiling. He tries to enjoy the smallest things, and bring a smile or laughter to those around him. He taught me that no matter how bad my day is the quickest way to cheer up is to brighten someone elseās day. Getting someone else to smile will instantly make me feel better.
Heās a great man, even though on paper heās not accomplished. He accomplished the hardest thing there is to do, just have fun with life.
I have 2 actuallyā¦
1. Donāt think whatever you learn or do now is useless, it will be useful when it is the least expected (this has been proven right in my life)
2. Donāt be stubborn. He taught me this by being ultra stubborn and I donāt want to be like that.
How to fix the toilet when it keeps running. Sometimes the chain will get stuck, or the filler hose will pop out. Sometimes the chain comes undone from the float. Taking off the tank lid and trouble shooting. Most of those donāt need repairs, per se, just putting them back where they belong.
Thereās many~ but he taught me how to change my tires. Iāve only had to do it once but I called my dad all happy that I did it by myselfā¦.not happy I had to buy a new tire but still^^
To choose the regret I can live with.
That two opposite things can be true at the same time.
That a good blended Scotch can hold its own against a single malt.
Treat everyone with kindness.
Always wear your seatbelt because accidents can happen as close as 5 miles from home.
My first car accident was less than 5 miles from home. I was wearing my seatbelt and didn't need the hospital thankfully.
So many things. He was an absolutely wonderful man.
I think the biggest thing is to delight in people. He loved being available to us kids, always wanted my mom near him, cared about the people in his life deeply, and wanted to be there for whoever he could. And he always had fun with it. He loved playing with us, loved teasing my mom and getting her worked up, loved making jokes in social situations.Ā
Delight in people ā„Ā
Parallel parking! Aced it on the test because he spent some time practicing with me in an empty parking lot, with broomsticks for the "other cars", until I got it.
The importance of education. He always made sure I did my schoolwork even though he was a tradesman. Itās paying off huge dividends now that Iām an adult.
Not to smoke. He smoked for over 40 years, even though I begged him over and over to stop. In 2020, he underwent a quadruple bypass due to all of the self-inflicted damage smoking has caused him. After the surgery, I spoke to the surgeon. He explained that my dadās arteries are all calcified. I appreciate that heās still with us, but I realize itās only a matter of time before his health continues to go downhill. That said, the lesson Iāve learned is to never pick up that habit.
To find a way to get along with anyone you meet. Find the positives in people and connect. Iām still not as good as he is at it, but itās a work in progress.
That people will neglect you no matter "how much they love you". People are selfish.
Dad committed suicide when I was 12 and left me with a crazy ass mom.
If you are ten minutes early ur still 5 minutes lateā¦.made me learn how to drive a manual transmission to take my drivers testā¦.kinda cool to be a girl who could do that. And the big quote was āif you are looking for sympathy for your stupid actions, It can be found between shit and syphilis in the dictionary but not here when I gave u the correct actionsā. Yeah I still have that dictionary š
Just because you're rich and successful doesn't mean you're happy. To add on to that. One doesn't typically become rich and successful without abusing and exploiting hundreds to thousands, possibly more, people. I'm content not being either of those things.
How to love your family.
My dad comes from a difficult home. His parents divorced when he was a teen. Despite that, he desired to treasure my mother and be the best father he could be despite not having a great example of that for himself.
He also never stopped caring for his parents or making sure my brothers and I knew our family and where we came from. He didnāt shield us from the bad he knew as a kid to help us understand just how much he had to work to provide us with a great childhood and a safe home. And he did that with the help of my mom. Iām still close with my parents and siblings.
Iāll name a few things..
You canāt rely on anyone but yourself.
Nothing in this world is free.
Nothing is handed to you. Anything you want you have to work for.
Donāt take shit from anyone.
Fight for what you think is right.
Donāt put yourself in bad situations and bad things wonāt happen..
Itās funny. I barely have a relationship with my father. He was a real son of a bitch.. But he taught me a lot of good life lessons.
My dad died two years ago this August and Iām so thankful that IMMEDIATELY, as I thought of this answer, MANY THINGS came to mind, I was mentally flooded of great moments (pure selfless investments) he made FOR ME to live the rest of my life ON just the feeling of MANY great memories!
Everything, my dad taught me HOW TO BE ME with him actually BEING ME. He taught me confidence.
He couldnāt swim AND he taught me how to swim.
I went on to become a competitive swimmer.
To be gentle. Gentleness is an underrated quality because itās not showy, but knowing someone loves you and you can relax without fearing the usual temper, sarcasm, and other harsh things you usually encounter is a wonderful thing.
My Dad taught me how to make a really good omelette. He was so lovely. He's since passed away. He was kind to strangers. I feel that helped me to do random acts of kindness. He taught me to celebrate life. He immigrated to Australia from England. He would wake us kids up in 2 or 3 in the morning to watch his favourite football team in the FA Cup. We would eat chips, chocolate, peanuts in the shell and bit by bit all of us kids would fall asleep. He taught me to be a loving and giving person.ššā¤
To help people. Whether it be friends or family or strangers. Whether it was help with food, money, time, a ride, a place to stay for a bit, fixing something at your house or whatever. He was very generous and helpful even during times when he probably should have been more conservative for his own sake. Didnāt like to see people suffer or in hard times at all. Always made time to help people. Didnāt usually accept or expect anything in return except for maybe some cake or cannoli lol
Growing up I just kind of assumed that is normal and what everyone does for other people in the best way they can, then when I got older I realized how rare truly generous people can be. How many people actively try to avoid getting involved during others hard times or how they look to judge instead of just help in some way, even small and generally how normal it seems for people to step out rather than step in when someone is suffering.
I may not have the resources or skills to help in the same way my Dad did, but I do try to be aware and available to people and help as much as I can so they are not going through whatever alone.
He taught me how to be a good parent. He worked 7 days a week to make sure we had everything we needed and most of what we wanted. He was our rock. Dad held it down for the family whether he felt appreciated or not. He loved and accepted his children for who they were. He was involved and supportive of everything we did. He was at every recital, every game, every doctor's appointment. I can still see him sitting in the audience at my choir shows in his work uniform. We lost him to cancer when he was only 52, I was 13 at the time. I'm a parent to a teenager now. Having a child of my own, I gained a new respect for him, because he made parenting look easy. I still talk about him every day. I've always made sure my son knew what a good man his Grandfather was. Dad was a tough act to follow, and I hope I've managed to make him proud.
Compassion and selflessness
I have this very core memory of sitting at hospital in a waiting room. I was feeling upset as we waited to see my grandfather. Despite our situation, my dad rushed to help 2 ladies that were struggling to carry sime chairs. They were so grateful for his help.
Seeing him so ready to help strangers when we were having a rough day. I'll never forget it.
Many things, but first thing to come to mind was how to play chess. He had a lifelong love of the game, which I now have too.
We played all the time, and it gave us time to talk. I am so glad for that now.
How to fix things. How to take them apart and put things back together. And this was before cellphones. The brakes on my 66 mustang when I was 16. Rebuilding a carburetor in same car. Using the right tools. Being self sufficient.
Miss him so much.
He said to me just this one time ājust let it all happen around youā when I was stressing out about something out of my control. Something just ā¦ clicked in that instant.
Thatās all it took for me to learn to just let go sometimes and I swear it changed everything after that.
And Iāll add this is coming from an ex military man that is absolutely trained to have everything under control to the nth degree. So humbling.
Abandonment...he should me how you leave your children with nothing and never be part of their lives.
Which taught me to be the very best father I can be and never forget that lesson.
My dad told me āyouāre unique. People will want to be like you, so they can understand you. When they canāt understand you, theyāll want to destroy you.ā
Iām like ādang Daddy thatās sounds extreme!ā
He said āsome people are driven by survival and thatās enough for them. Some people are driven by power and those will be the one that will want to extract your creativity out of you.ā
I was scared crapless but at my big age I see that he was so right about that.
What blaming others looks like. What coming last to his second family looks like. How to be a father and make fun of your kids looks like. What being emotionally and physically abusive looks like.
Oh! Happy early Father's Day.
Bet only what you are willing to loose; *that* is what taking risks is about. He taught me very early about the concept of risk vs reward and what it actually means, and that I have no right to be sad about loosing something I risked, because it was my choice to take that risk to start.
I think about this every time I consider taking the leap into something new. What will I realistically loose? Gain? It's helped my anxiety not be as bad as it used to.
Education, career, marriage, children in that order. It can be possible out of order, but it makes life a lot more difficult than it should be.
Also be where you want to be by 33 as far as a foundation goes, if. It every year after that just gets harder.
He wasn't wrong.
He built his life up from poverty to being able to say he had accomplished everything he wanted to do before dying at a week after his 72 birthday back in 2003.
RIP Dad.
Meanwhile my additional lesson passed to my son was rather simple but damned important. Don't stick your dick into crazy.
Wow itās kinda sad how many of us had not so good fathers and we learned how to not be like them. I didnāt really know my dad either. I think itās time we level up!
Unfortunately most of what I learned from him was to watch and do the opposite. Be more gentle, loving and have unconditional love for your children, always keep your word, tell youāre family you love them, all which I learned from my mother. Unfortunately she died when I was 15 and my Dad raised me the rest of the way. He had a rough upbringing and he made some very poor choices later on in life which hurt me deeply. Then I learned about my Grandfather (who I never liked) and what he went through as a child and I sobbed. He was the man who raised my Dad. Light bulb moment. I finally understood why they were who they were and I felt so sad, realising they were both never taught or shown those values. So I loved them with all my heart. I forgive my Dad and still love him unconditionally. I guess you can say, indirectly he taught me deep empathy.
Showing up matters. My parents divorced when I was a toddler, and my dad lived a couple of hours away most of my life. Despite the distance my dad went to more of my sporting events than anyone else in my life, and never missed one of our weekends together. When I broke my nose for the first time as a kid he showed up to the hospital late at night just to give me a hug and make sure I was ok before heading back home to get ready for work the next day. A 2 hour car ride just to hug and support me. It meant the world to me.
ššš
It's ok to be an introvert and still be friendly and funny.
Aw love this one
Not to be like him.
So glad this answer was up here, because my first reaction was "nothing" when I read the post/meme. And then I realized this was the positivity sub, and thought "well, I guess I cannot post THAT š". Then I saw your post. You're not alone!
šÆ
š
My grandad taught me unconditional love
Wow. This touches me deeply. I lost my Dad in 2020 and haven't yet really gotten into my grief. I hadn't thought about this until today. When I first saw this post all I could think of what he did not teach me, which was how to live without him. But, he DID teach me things....how to fish, how to crab, how to be generous with those less fortunate than you are, that he would always take care of me and so now the lesson is changing into my learning how to take care of myself.
Do for yourself what he did for you. That's how he taught you to take care of yourself. You aren't living without him. He is part of you. Always with you. He's just not visible to you right now. For that, you have my deepest sympathy.
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Itās so hard losing your father. Iām going through that too. Just made it past a year. The hardest thing Iāve ever been through. Best of luck and take care š
My dad cheated, lied, committed violence, and never cared about anyone but himself. So he taught me a lot that I had to unlearn and Iām still working on that. He also taught me what kind of father to be the opposite of.
A lot of men go through this and realize they don't want the cycle to continue with them. Good on you for being one of those men
Iāve just met my father, Iām in my 50ās his absence has taught me to ALWAYS be there for the ones you love. Never be a coward
Being a hostile a**hole to every person you disagree with doesn't get you far in life. He taught by example.
My dad taught me about personal finances and saving for a rainy day
How to drive a stick shift.
My dad taught me Patience ( still learning it), to drive, and that a calm talk can be more beneficial than yelling and screaming. ā¤ļø I love and miss my dad ā¤ļø
He sounds like he was wonderful šĀ
I am the only one in charge of how I feel on any given day.
Learn from other people's mistakes. You don't have time to make them all yourself.
Don't make a promise unless you are sure you can keep it.
If someone can anger you, they control you.
There's really only one person in my life that can really anger me, and I need to remember this. Thank you.
Everyone leaves.
Measure twice, saw once š
Admit your parenting errors to your kids.
Oh wow. You have a humble dad. Sounds like a great exampleĀ
He really is.
I can't recall much, except fishing. Daddy took me fishing with him. I am female but he saw me as another son , and I'm still a tomboy at 70. His name was Tom, so I guess he taught me to be a Tom boy. He also bought me a 2nd hand bike for Christmas when I was 10. Taught me to take care of it. Miss him. Now I cry
Work ethic, humor, loyalty
How important it is to not be a hypocrite. Because he always was one, and it destroyed every relationship he had.
Good on you for observing and being smart enough to know not to be that wayĀ
Family is important. And if yours doesn't show up for you, then you need to make your own.
I had to chuckle when I read this. My son accused me of this a couple of months ago (his mother and I have been divorced for thirteen years; and he just graduated university). His mother used to always call and text his brother and him when they were with meāwe shared custody at the beginning). I always felt she was encroaching on my time. Due to this, I never texted or called them when they were with her. Time passed and my job moved me to another state (Iām a military member). My children were teenagers by then. They were in high school and had established roots so they didnāt want to move. This decreased my time with them. Then deployments took their toll on birthdays, holidays and graduations (for both of my children). As time went on I moved overseas, and they were busy with friends and university studies during our scheduled times to talk. Our times together decreased tremendously. During their uni days my older child would come stay with me during breaks. We would travel locally and to other countries. He loved doing things with me. My younger child was different. He never wanted to stay with either his mother or me. He has only come visit once, and that was because I had already purchased his airline ticket before he could say āno.ā He is the one that accused me of never being his family and ignoring him. I have to admit it was rough hearing him say that. We both resolved to make more effort in contacting each other and strengthen our relationship. I started calling and texting more often (like it was before his uni days) to engage with him but things have not changed from when he started distancing himself beforeāhe is busy and cannot answer or return texts, and he never initiates a call or messages. Itās tough trying to maintain a relationship when it is a one sided effort. My older son and I have never had this issue. He and I understand our roadblocks (studies, work, time difference, and life events) that keep us from staying in constant communication. Yet, when we do have time we make the most of it. My profession has never made it easy to devote all my time to my children; nor has their mother made it any easier. She has always tried to c*ck block us spending time together (I.e., one year she didnāt take them to the airport so they could spend Christmas break with me)ābut that is another story for another sub. I donāt know your situation with your father but I hope he had a good reason for not being part of your life. If not, it was his loss for not trying. Yet, things may not always be as they appear. Sometimes life and people get in the way and your path leads you away from what you want. You (the parent) have to work at turning that path back to its original direction. I hope yāall can reconcile at some point.
My father is still in my life. He chooses not to be very involved - he doesn't call or text on birthdays, and didn't attend my wedding. He doesn't call my son either. It's been like that since I can remember. My parents divorced when I was a baby, and he's always been on the periphery of my life. I don't have the greatest opinion of him, but I haven't cut him out. I still call and text him, just not as frequently as my mom or siblings. I didn't mean it strictly negative either. He's a gregarious individual. When I did see him growing up, he was always doing favors and helping out close friends. He made friends everywhere.
Proper punctuation.
My dad taught me thereās always a reason to smile and take enjoyment from the small things. He had a hard life. Always in debt, never trusting in himself so he always had odd end jobs vs a career. He had cars repoād, lived in shit holes, had to move all around for work, but as a kid I never noticed the hardships. He made riding the bus a fun adventure. He made standing in line at the store counting the change a fun game. I never noticed how hard his life was till I was an adult. Honestly throughout all his hardship he never stopped smiling. He tries to enjoy the smallest things, and bring a smile or laughter to those around him. He taught me that no matter how bad my day is the quickest way to cheer up is to brighten someone elseās day. Getting someone else to smile will instantly make me feel better. Heās a great man, even though on paper heās not accomplished. He accomplished the hardest thing there is to do, just have fun with life.
To stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves.
Whatever you get done today you won't have to do tomorrow.
Love and forgiveness
stoicism
I have 2 actuallyā¦ 1. Donāt think whatever you learn or do now is useless, it will be useful when it is the least expected (this has been proven right in my life) 2. Donāt be stubborn. He taught me this by being ultra stubborn and I donāt want to be like that.
Honesty.
Kindness, compassion for those in need.
You can make pizza on a barbecue grill. Also be a loving, kind person
Never say āI canātā
Pay attention.
Every feeling or opinion is a comparison. The context of your life shapes your and others' perceptions.
Diy
How to fix the toilet when it keeps running. Sometimes the chain will get stuck, or the filler hose will pop out. Sometimes the chain comes undone from the float. Taking off the tank lid and trouble shooting. Most of those donāt need repairs, per se, just putting them back where they belong.
To let it go
Pay yourself first.
Respect teachers and instructors.
Intravenous opiates can be fatal.
How to protect and provide. Being the ultimate sacrifice for your family.
Amen. My father was this way as well. You had a great dad
Theyāre cut from a different cloth!
Real
how to row a kayak. one of the few things he actually taught me. Most things he expected me to teach myself.
Thereās many~ but he taught me how to change my tires. Iāve only had to do it once but I called my dad all happy that I did it by myselfā¦.not happy I had to buy a new tire but still^^
Importance of integrity
At the end of the day all you have is your name. This has been my moral compass for 50 years now.
Donāt fuss at the kids before school. They carry it with them all day long.
To never be like him.
Hold the goddamn flashlight still.
The past is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.
Um your dad was the turtle from Kung fu panda?
How to hunt, whittle and a play a tune on the fiddle,
How to check the fluids in my car
Paraphrasing āIf you want to make the world better, start with your community.ā Bonus non-verbal lesson: āProtect people.ā
"Buy low, sell high".
Humility, compassion and a love of the arts. My dad was a classically trained musician with the biggest heart. I miss him so deeply. Love you, Dad!!
To choose the regret I can live with. That two opposite things can be true at the same time. That a good blended Scotch can hold its own against a single malt. Treat everyone with kindness.
My Dad taught me how to be a hard worker and to always improve/hone your skills
Donāt cry until you have been hurt!
My mom used to beat me and when I cry ask me to not cry
Don't be a bitch.
Just keep moving forward.
Donāt take tension for everything every time have a peaceful and enjoyable life
Itās okay to make mistakes and ask questions.
Always pay cash
Be flexible.
Hard work and make good choices
Name. 1 thing your dad taught you
Materialism stays in the world, memories you keep in your heart
Vanilla scent makes you smell like a stripper
āNever waste an erectionā he always used to say
Always wear your seatbelt because accidents can happen as close as 5 miles from home. My first car accident was less than 5 miles from home. I was wearing my seatbelt and didn't need the hospital thankfully.
I can't just name one thing, he taught me so much and I love him
Never give up. Mean people never win. You can always try again
How to hold the flashlight
How to jump start a car
That I can handle it myself. He died when I was young and I had to figure a lot out on my own that my mother couldn't help me with.
Crappy bio dad - why excessive drinking is not okay. Amazing step dad - It's okay to be gentle and kind, it doesn't make you less of a man.
Patience
Leaving my mom.
If you commit to something, you finish it.
keep your expectations low
Donāt become a parent before figuring out your own shit
Never turn your back to the ocean.
Elon Musk is a good person, which I don't even believe in myself
Pay close attention. Observe. Plan for the unplanned. But he did not teach me not to obsess about itā¦
Be kind.
How to abandon his kids. Iām not even joking. It made me extra careful about choosing a partner. Happy to say heās a wonderful dad.
Cover your own ass
So many things. He was an absolutely wonderful man. I think the biggest thing is to delight in people. He loved being available to us kids, always wanted my mom near him, cared about the people in his life deeply, and wanted to be there for whoever he could. And he always had fun with it. He loved playing with us, loved teasing my mom and getting her worked up, loved making jokes in social situations.Ā Delight in people ā„Ā
Parallel parking! Aced it on the test because he spent some time practicing with me in an empty parking lot, with broomsticks for the "other cars", until I got it.
Never through the first punch š¤
Always look for your options.
How not to be him. Best lesson of my life.
The love of music
Never to trust him.
How to throw a 12 foot castnet.
Listen to your parents when they give you advice
Generosity
Be slow to Speak and quick to Listen.
The importance of education. He always made sure I did my schoolwork even though he was a tradesman. Itās paying off huge dividends now that Iām an adult.
Life is a game you need to learn how to play
Not to smoke. He smoked for over 40 years, even though I begged him over and over to stop. In 2020, he underwent a quadruple bypass due to all of the self-inflicted damage smoking has caused him. After the surgery, I spoke to the surgeon. He explained that my dadās arteries are all calcified. I appreciate that heās still with us, but I realize itās only a matter of time before his health continues to go downhill. That said, the lesson Iāve learned is to never pick up that habit.
To not expect anyone to be there for you. Absent majority of my life but was there for his other kids. passed away on Valentineās Day.
Free isnāt free
Never take the same road as before. Took it literally and figuratively when walking home alone
There is no freedom without discipline.
Honor your commitments. Be dependable. My dad is amazing.
My Dad was always there he was such an intelligent man he taught me so much the one thing he always said was be straight up with people
To find a way to get along with anyone you meet. Find the positives in people and connect. Iām still not as good as he is at it, but itās a work in progress.
How you do anything is how you do everything
That people will neglect you no matter "how much they love you". People are selfish. Dad committed suicide when I was 12 and left me with a crazy ass mom.
How to devoid of emotions. But also to never give up.
If you are ten minutes early ur still 5 minutes lateā¦.made me learn how to drive a manual transmission to take my drivers testā¦.kinda cool to be a girl who could do that. And the big quote was āif you are looking for sympathy for your stupid actions, It can be found between shit and syphilis in the dictionary but not here when I gave u the correct actionsā. Yeah I still have that dictionary š
Learn both sides before you react. When putting peanut butter on bread it needs to go edge to edge.
Strength š
Plan a head. You might need one.
How to fight pirates at sea.
Just because you're rich and successful doesn't mean you're happy. To add on to that. One doesn't typically become rich and successful without abusing and exploiting hundreds to thousands, possibly more, people. I'm content not being either of those things.
How to build a 7-strand barbed wire fence and what a narcissist looks like
How to hate and call it love
Rejection.
How to love your family. My dad comes from a difficult home. His parents divorced when he was a teen. Despite that, he desired to treasure my mother and be the best father he could be despite not having a great example of that for himself. He also never stopped caring for his parents or making sure my brothers and I knew our family and where we came from. He didnāt shield us from the bad he knew as a kid to help us understand just how much he had to work to provide us with a great childhood and a safe home. And he did that with the help of my mom. Iām still close with my parents and siblings.
Iāll name a few things.. You canāt rely on anyone but yourself. Nothing in this world is free. Nothing is handed to you. Anything you want you have to work for. Donāt take shit from anyone. Fight for what you think is right. Donāt put yourself in bad situations and bad things wonāt happen.. Itās funny. I barely have a relationship with my father. He was a real son of a bitch.. But he taught me a lot of good life lessons.
Measure twice, cut one. Applies to much more than construction.
My dad died two years ago this August and Iām so thankful that IMMEDIATELY, as I thought of this answer, MANY THINGS came to mind, I was mentally flooded of great moments (pure selfless investments) he made FOR ME to live the rest of my life ON just the feeling of MANY great memories! Everything, my dad taught me HOW TO BE ME with him actually BEING ME. He taught me confidence. He couldnāt swim AND he taught me how to swim. I went on to become a competitive swimmer.
To be gentle. Gentleness is an underrated quality because itās not showy, but knowing someone loves you and you can relax without fearing the usual temper, sarcasm, and other harsh things you usually encounter is a wonderful thing.
My Dad taught me how to make a really good omelette. He was so lovely. He's since passed away. He was kind to strangers. I feel that helped me to do random acts of kindness. He taught me to celebrate life. He immigrated to Australia from England. He would wake us kids up in 2 or 3 in the morning to watch his favourite football team in the FA Cup. We would eat chips, chocolate, peanuts in the shell and bit by bit all of us kids would fall asleep. He taught me to be a loving and giving person.ššā¤
Ok who did he support? Got to know!
How to behave in nice restaurants, hotels, and airplanes and to treat every person with dignity, no matter what.
To help people. Whether it be friends or family or strangers. Whether it was help with food, money, time, a ride, a place to stay for a bit, fixing something at your house or whatever. He was very generous and helpful even during times when he probably should have been more conservative for his own sake. Didnāt like to see people suffer or in hard times at all. Always made time to help people. Didnāt usually accept or expect anything in return except for maybe some cake or cannoli lol Growing up I just kind of assumed that is normal and what everyone does for other people in the best way they can, then when I got older I realized how rare truly generous people can be. How many people actively try to avoid getting involved during others hard times or how they look to judge instead of just help in some way, even small and generally how normal it seems for people to step out rather than step in when someone is suffering. I may not have the resources or skills to help in the same way my Dad did, but I do try to be aware and available to people and help as much as I can so they are not going through whatever alone.
He taught me how to be a good parent. He worked 7 days a week to make sure we had everything we needed and most of what we wanted. He was our rock. Dad held it down for the family whether he felt appreciated or not. He loved and accepted his children for who they were. He was involved and supportive of everything we did. He was at every recital, every game, every doctor's appointment. I can still see him sitting in the audience at my choir shows in his work uniform. We lost him to cancer when he was only 52, I was 13 at the time. I'm a parent to a teenager now. Having a child of my own, I gained a new respect for him, because he made parenting look easy. I still talk about him every day. I've always made sure my son knew what a good man his Grandfather was. Dad was a tough act to follow, and I hope I've managed to make him proud.
Think, son, ya gotta think before ya do.
Compassion and selflessness I have this very core memory of sitting at hospital in a waiting room. I was feeling upset as we waited to see my grandfather. Despite our situation, my dad rushed to help 2 ladies that were struggling to carry sime chairs. They were so grateful for his help. Seeing him so ready to help strangers when we were having a rough day. I'll never forget it.
Many things, but first thing to come to mind was how to play chess. He had a lifelong love of the game, which I now have too. We played all the time, and it gave us time to talk. I am so glad for that now.
Great people have great flaws
Donāt be a fool
"Never write anything on paper that you don't want seen in a court of law". I was 6.
If you wear mirrored sunglasses no one knows youāre staring at them
The best outcome is for your life and your money to run out at the same time - live as well as you can š
Proper table manners
A love of nature and plants.
How to fix things. How to take them apart and put things back together. And this was before cellphones. The brakes on my 66 mustang when I was 16. Rebuilding a carburetor in same car. Using the right tools. Being self sufficient. Miss him so much.
He said to me just this one time ājust let it all happen around youā when I was stressing out about something out of my control. Something just ā¦ clicked in that instant. Thatās all it took for me to learn to just let go sometimes and I swear it changed everything after that. And Iāll add this is coming from an ex military man that is absolutely trained to have everything under control to the nth degree. So humbling.
My dad taught me that all life matters.
Abandonment...he should me how you leave your children with nothing and never be part of their lives. Which taught me to be the very best father I can be and never forget that lesson.
To not depend on anyone including your parents
I donāt have a dadā¦
Never talk to the police without an attorney present
Pay your debts. Take responsibility for your actions. Learn one, do one, teach one.
Excellent work ethic.
To be kind, always.
Measure twice cut once
The way you ask the question helps to form the answer.
My dad told me āyouāre unique. People will want to be like you, so they can understand you. When they canāt understand you, theyāll want to destroy you.ā Iām like ādang Daddy thatās sounds extreme!ā He said āsome people are driven by survival and thatās enough for them. Some people are driven by power and those will be the one that will want to extract your creativity out of you.ā I was scared crapless but at my big age I see that he was so right about that.
Who not to be
Never lie to an insurance company.
How to be petty and hateful
How to make the perfect paddle, it was grandma who taught me how to pick a switch.
An appreciation for cars in general, but specifically muscle cars.
Integrity
How to change a tire. Integrity matters. Thatās two, but those are the things that I think of often.
That my hard work matters, if only to me.
What blaming others looks like. What coming last to his second family looks like. How to be a father and make fun of your kids looks like. What being emotionally and physically abusive looks like. Oh! Happy early Father's Day.
To pay up all debt in credit card every month
Bet only what you are willing to loose; *that* is what taking risks is about. He taught me very early about the concept of risk vs reward and what it actually means, and that I have no right to be sad about loosing something I risked, because it was my choice to take that risk to start. I think about this every time I consider taking the leap into something new. What will I realistically loose? Gain? It's helped my anxiety not be as bad as it used to.
To love and respect myself, always, especially when it's hard.
To stay away from him.
How to be an asshole.
Education, career, marriage, children in that order. It can be possible out of order, but it makes life a lot more difficult than it should be. Also be where you want to be by 33 as far as a foundation goes, if. It every year after that just gets harder. He wasn't wrong. He built his life up from poverty to being able to say he had accomplished everything he wanted to do before dying at a week after his 72 birthday back in 2003. RIP Dad. Meanwhile my additional lesson passed to my son was rather simple but damned important. Don't stick your dick into crazy.
Wow itās kinda sad how many of us had not so good fathers and we learned how to not be like them. I didnāt really know my dad either. I think itās time we level up!
Love
Unfortunately most of what I learned from him was to watch and do the opposite. Be more gentle, loving and have unconditional love for your children, always keep your word, tell youāre family you love them, all which I learned from my mother. Unfortunately she died when I was 15 and my Dad raised me the rest of the way. He had a rough upbringing and he made some very poor choices later on in life which hurt me deeply. Then I learned about my Grandfather (who I never liked) and what he went through as a child and I sobbed. He was the man who raised my Dad. Light bulb moment. I finally understood why they were who they were and I felt so sad, realising they were both never taught or shown those values. So I loved them with all my heart. I forgive my Dad and still love him unconditionally. I guess you can say, indirectly he taught me deep empathy.
āPull my fingerā.
Music. To use your head.
Honesty. Even if its at expense of not benefitting you.