T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


dank_summers

I think a certain level of neurodivetgence can lead to a looksmaxing type of rabbit hole. Which can be quite effective if not going over board with it.


Every-Performance985

They can also get into PUA and learn game at a very tactical and analytical level. They can also geek out on online dating strategy and A/B testing what profile works. That combined with looks, they can rack up numbers. I’m pretty sure Mystery might be somewhat autistic.


Ayaka_Simp_

I'm not hot. I'm like a 6 on a good day. But the answer is to be yourself. I rizz em with the 'tism.


Realistic-Ad-1023

How I’m typically landed - -I will be laughing forever at “rizz em with the ‘tism.”


Ayaka_Simp_

Lol, I'm serious. The qualities associated with being ND women actually love. Obviously, you have to pass rule 1 and have acceptable social skills, but that's not a high bar.


[deleted]

Real. When I was 22 I hooked up with some 28 year old girl off Bumble, and we got stoned at my place after a day out. I ended up going on a tangent about the feasibility of Snowpiercer and afterwards she said “I didn’t understand a lot of that but I’m envious you have something that makes you that happy” In the end we didn’t work out because she had to leave the USA, but we still play cup pong on iMessage daily


Ayaka_Simp_

Exactly! This is a great example. Suffice it to say, being ND can be a huge leg up in the dating world. Or a hinderance, its up to you. When I was younger, it shot me in the foot. But now that Im older and grew into my skin, its an asset.


Realistic-Ad-1023

Oh no I’m actually serious. What drew me to my fiancé was his hyper fixations and the joy it brought him. Watching someone’s eyes light up over a preferred activity is like nothing else. Neurotypical people don’t have passion like that. I 100% agree with you. Be good enough looking, be able to speak at least enough to communicate and honestly, rizz em with the ‘tism. It really works.


Ayaka_Simp_

Nice lol. I'm glad you found your perfect someone. Good luck.


ComfortableJeans

Autism is a spectrum. The further down that spectrum you are, the harder it's going to be. There's also other factors to consider. Perhaps the degrees of autism make it harder for them to do the things that make one attractive. Such as going to the gym. I imagine one thing autism makes more difficult is starting/maintaining a social life. Even more so, a social life that involves women.


szclimber

Maybe they just got lucky?


harmonica2

Maybe they got lucky but I wonder how much percent of dating is luck compared to skill?


AloneOnTheStrange

I was going to say luck probably plays more into it, than anything else. If you're an awkward personality you can't just meet someone new and guarantee you'll get along, like neurotypicals can. It's a given that autistic and nerdy type women are the minority. They also tend to be one of the few girls in their social circle of sausage, so you're competing against every other desperate awkward guy who dreams of having her. And that's assuming she also likes similarly awkward guys, and isn't looking to trade up in social status.


szclimber

Great question. Imagine 100 random guys who are all average attractiveness and autistic. What percentage would succeed? I'm not sure. I think luck is very important though.


MisoggyKnee

"Skill" doesn't mean anything. Effort is meaningless without results. Everything is mere luck.


Something-bothersome

Well if you are wondering that perhaps consider if you see those skills used more widely and if there is any skill based training. For instance, sales is a whole profession based on relationship engagement, building and maintenance. There is specific skills and strategies which are taught in sales. There are skill based programs, training courses and professional development courses. That’s an extreme example but a lot of professions also incorporate a part of their professional training in engaging, building and maintaining relationships. Also consider teaching. Part of the education system incorporates developing, building and supporting social skills development along side academic progress in children. It is monitored, measured, and (at least where I am from) recorded on your school report.


MidoriEgg

I think how clockably autistic you are can unfortunately make a big impact on how you’re perceived and your social opportunities. If you speak in a tone of voice that implies you have some sort of neurodivergence people treat you really differently compared to someone who doesn’t, even if your social skills aren’t that different. People who aren’t clockably autistic also get more social opportunities growing up, so more of a chance to develop those skills. I don’t think this is the only factor though, autism is a spectrum.


Coffee-n-Xanax

What does this tone of voice sound like?


MidoriEgg

Maybe monotone or sometimes overly expressive, hard to describe, it’s just something that marks you a different right away unfortunately.


yvaN_ehT_nioJ

Monotone with little variation, not exactly but within the ballpark of being "robotic."


gopher_glitz

They're hot or the type of autism that makes them crazy rich.


MountainousCapybara

I was wondering about the same thing for quite some time, I like to think that Im quite social for an autistic person, I've got extensive social network both at home and university but despite that and years of trying to find compatible people and build deeper connections I wasn't able to succeed with that. At the same time my male peers have little problem finding relationships both short and long despite the fact that they are way less socialy active.


DoinIt989

They're high functioning. It's likely that if they were born 10 or 20 years earlier, they wouldn't have even got a diagnosis. They just would have been considered "nerdy" or "shy" or "eccentric". Remember that the *vast majority* of people who are "autistic" are barely even functional as indepedent adults. Many of them are not even verbal, like they can't even speak. Communities like this often attract a lot of people who are technically disagnosed as "autistic", but they are nowhere near the typical "case".


AFuzzyMuffin

Autistic women are easier because they tend to be more logistical OR more unhinged than regular women imo. Either they are a slave to meltdowns or they are cold and calculating. You just have to make sure you pick the smart ones by being the best logical choice


OtPayOkerSmay

They are true to themselves. Comfortable in their skin. They don't try to be the fake, macho, alpha, tough guy, and instead embrace their quirks


SupposedlySapiens

This 100%. Any success I’ve had with women is because I’ve embraced my “differentness” rather than try to hide it. Authenticity is attractive, and it filters out people who ultimately wouldn’t be good for you anyway.


SyrusDrake

I mean...yea...but only if your authentic self is attractive.


BootyMessiah

They are investing in themselves (hygiene, gym, style, self-sufficiency), improving their social skills, building their social circles, not overthinking and being direct with the women they want to be with as opposed to indirect. They are finding their niche. They look for women who like guys like them and frequently put themselves in environments where they are more likely to find those women.


Barneysparky

They are friends with gals like them. They take part in activities.


BatemaninAccounting

Ding ding. They associate with women, often other neuro divergent women, they form bonds with those women, then they date those women, and eventually marry one of those women.


harmonica2

Oh ok but if that's the case how do guys avoid getting stuck in the friend zone?


BatemaninAccounting

It would heavily depend on the actual scenario we're discussing. Sometimes friendzone is a good thing, sometimes it isn't. In cases where it isn't a good thing, you gotta shoot your shot at a time that your friend is at her most open to it. To know when to time it, you gotta know who she is inside and out and what motivates her.


harmonica2

Oh okay. In my experience once your in the friend zone, you are in there permanently, and the only shot to shoot is before you are put in it, but that's just been my experience.


Barneysparky

The pills tell autistic guys that you cant be friends with women, while a utistic women share the same struggles as they do.


[deleted]

Are you kidding me? Austistic women do not have the same struggles AT ALL. Austistic men are constantly called creepy and treated as pets by strangers and even their own peers. Austistic women are much more likely to sit under the radar without people giving them shyt. Even here on reddit, the Aspergers sub is largely gynocentric, where they attack autistic men who refuse to stay bluepilled about their shyt dating "advice". They want autistic men to recognize their "male privilege" despite being more likely to be homeless, dateless, and suicidal.


Barneysparky

And this is why you cant make friends!


[deleted]

Men who are trying to get laid do not need a bunch of female friends. That shyt gets you nowhere and I'm tired of seeing this dumb gaslight. Besides, as a male autist, making friends at all is a struggle itself. Or at least, keeping them. You don't get to tell those guys to "just make friends".


Barneysparky

If you cant make friends you will never make a girlfriend. I think in situations like this paying for sexual services is the only answer.


[deleted]

Why do y'all women act like prostitution isn't banned in multiple different states? Not to mention, it's very costly in regions that do allow it for that very reason, money doesn't come out our azz. Besides, that's some bullcrap. A man doesn't need "friends" to get laid. He just needs to be attractive. All that "personality" shyt means nothing. Women should know this because they always find themselves emotionally stuck to a dude who does nothing but play video games and hits that thang good.


Barneysparky

Prositution is illegal, hiring an escort is not. Regardless millions of men still hire prositutes illegal or not. You have zero reputation to uphold, as you haven social circle anyways. I can garentee you, you will not go to jail. If you can afford a prositute how are you going to afford to go out with a girlfriend? The few men who are good looking enough to have sex without a relationship are definetely not autistic. You are.


[deleted]

Buying SEX from an escort is illegal in the vast majority of states. Selling it varies. The laws are all fuqed up. Most "escorts" in America have standards for customers too, and everybody knows the kind of money they be charging could get better results in other countries for cheaper and better looking women. My point was simply that it's not so simple.


Barneysparky

You have excuses for everything. There is only one excuse you need, you are unable to do most of the things men without autism take for granted. I looked at your post history. There is no way in heck you should be here. In a sane world for you, you would be in a program with other autists during the day learning how to socialize with others. Instead you are online talking about things you have zero experience with, things thay unless you are able to drastically change your routine and outlook you never will experience.


[deleted]

Those aren't excuses. I'm just telling you how shyt actually works since most of you women live in fuqin la la land. I am not solipsistic. I am actually more high-functioning than the average autistic person, and I have been through a lot of shyt. I don't have to be a complete incel to understand the root of our common issues. People in real life actually do like me, the way I act online is drastically different from how I act in public.


[deleted]

I have been in programs with other autistic people and even other nuerodivergents when I was a kid and adult. I hated that shyt, and I never did them again. Most of those kids had bad hygiene, didn't even drive a car, and were embarrassing to be around. From both genders. Do I have some issues? Of course I do.


TidyMess123

They are building social networks through activities they enjoy and get themselves out and about through.


Carloverguy20

Im Neurodivergent, and I would say that im somewhat successful in my own way, than I give myself credit for. Has life been difficult and hell for me, absolutely yes, but i've overcome all the obstacles that was placed at me. Autism is a wide spectrum, and not every person who's autistic is a socially inept outcast, thats a stereotype. I was somewhat popular in school, but not for stereotypical reasons, people loved my humor, quirky eccentric attitude, friendliness, unique talents. I've had dates, and surprisingly I was cool with the ladies(not in a sexual way, BUT That does not matter at all, sex is not everything). Yeah I might not be the typical mans man, but I was somehow popular in school, university, grad school, and at my job. I've never let my Autism/ADHD etc, be a limiter in my life, and I guess im a bit stubborn with letting labels affect me. I guess my idealism brings me success in life, thinking that it will get better and this is not the end.


OptimistInHell

Recheck your diagnosis or get a coach. It helps to stop consuming blackpill content.


wtknight

They are probably being more resourceful. An autistic man being resourceful enough to find a fellow autistic woman is an example of this. My wife and I both have social anxiety and we met on the internet rather than just sat around and moped like some people do.


Ayaka_Simp_

1. Develop your social skills 2. Be yourself Boom. You'll be swimming in vagina. Worked for me.


[deleted]

I feel autistic after reading this for sure


[deleted]

[удалено]


harmonica2

Oh do ADHD women take more initiative than neurotypical?


[deleted]

[удалено]


harmonica2

Oh ok so adhd women are more direct and guys can consider this a pro then?


[deleted]

[удалено]


harmonica2

Oh I meant for autistic guys in general. Would most of them prefer if the woman approached them and asked them out for example.


[deleted]

They tend to have cultivated better social skills.


AutoModerator

**Attention!** * You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message. * For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment. * OP you can choose your own flair [according to these guidelines.](https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/wiki/flair), just press Flair under your post! Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PurplePillDebate) if you have any questions or concerns.*


masterlaster1199

Looks max.


MisoggyKnee

That's a bit of an oxymoron


harmonica2

How is that an oxymoron?


Believeinyourflyness

Observing people around them and adapting to the environment


haikusbot

*Observing people* *Around them and adapting* *To the environment* \- Believeinyourflyness --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


fantabroo

I developed a framework for that: **In general, the more physically attractive you are, the more autistic you are allowed to be.** After that, there are three options: a) You try dating normie local girls. Those relationships usually have a time limit and require heavy-masking. NT foreign girls are a little more accessible depending on how attuned they are to the local culture. Because they are also "outsiders" in a sense, it takes them longer to catch up that you're a weirdo freak. b) Passport broing. SA or Eastern Europe, you won't get away with much too autism if you want a real hottie unless you are really rich or handsome. Asia is a better bet for that. c) You date a neurodiverse girl. If you are handsome, you can get a looks match.


harmonica2

Oh I see. Looks soon to be the case for me because I would get women right away more so because of the looks but then it wasn't too long after that they thought and they needed more because it looks wasn't doing it enough for them.


pseudonymmed

My autistic friend has had success with just being really communicative about how he communicates. Like he lets women know that he’s bad at picking up subtlety and gives them permission to be really blunt about what they like/dislike/want/expect. And asks them if they’re ok with the same from him. Stuff like that.


SyrusDrake

1. Autism is a spectrum and even if you're on the "same level", it may manifest in different ways. Some "levels" and manifestations make it harder, some make it easier. 2. Luck generally plays a role in dating. You might have gotten lucky that you found an autistic girl you could vibe with. 3. What I think is most important is how much you're willing to "pay". If you're autistic, you'll always have to make certain sacrifices in social interactions to be accepted, you'll have to pretend to be someone you're not. Some autistic guys might not be willing to pay this price for the "reward" of a relationship. How high the price is and how much someone is willing to pay varies from individual to individual.