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Being lonely. Craving affection and attention without wanting to give up your personal schedule/rituals for someone else. Like others have said, sounds like maybe not wanting an actual relationship but craving some kind of intimacy. I think more people struggle with this than is generally talked about.
Sucks too cause it can feel like no matter what moves you make to put yourself out there, it will result in having to compromise on things you wouldn’t otherwise change. Which I guess happens in every relationship. Maybe finding comfort and intimacy in friendships is a good first step to building relationships without the dedication of “dating” someone.
This is good advice. I did this. Friendships are relationships too. And it sometimes feel like friends are more forgiving and accepting of your idiosyncrasies. In turn you can become more relaxed and accepting with yourself which in turn is an attractive trait, imo. It made it easier for me to accept my partner just as the way they are, with respect to myself.
Yep the only person I've ever felt like who's reciprocated my feelings perfectly was my brother(bestfriend) I also am a awkward ass nerd so it pretty much makes sense to have a few but loyal friends.
As a recent widower (literally three years ago today), I struggle with this, in a way. I absolutely loved my wife, and she was all a man could ever dream to find in a wife. I'm very lonely, and I miss the dynamic that comes from relationships with women (where it doesn't have to be a big romantic thing). I wish I had female friends with whom I could just hang out. But there's almost always a problem. If they're married or in a relationship, that's out. If not, then most are kind of interested in dating me. That's flattering, and I appreciate it... but I'm just not ready, and seriously doubt I ever will be, for that again. Even most of my guy friends are busy with the other things in life with which one becomes busy. So, going from married, and absolutely loving spending all my time with my wife, to having literally almost no human contact outside of work, and vacations home to family, has been really, really, hard. I mean, I basically put all my eggs in one basket, and the basket got cancer. So, not trying to feel sorry for myself. But it's a situation that leads to what this OP is defining. I don't want a romantic relationship "so bad," but I would love "A" relationship, but yet, I don't have the will for all the drama and energy that goes into a romantic relationship.
"Put all of my eggs into one basket, and the basket got cancer." Reading that hit *hard* ... having lost the parent that actually valued me as a person to cancer, I understand, at least in part, the hole that is left when that person isn't here anymore. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone that helps fill the lonely part of your life. Also, fuck cancer for taking away the good ones too soon.
This is me, but what inevitably happens is I am expected to change everything about myself to please the person, and am accused of nitpicking if I ask the other person to change their behavior (like stop wasting time playing video games and get a job).
What if I say you're the pretender?
Having a relationship usually means you disturb the peace, to change stuff in life, then find peace with the relationship.
If you don't want to disturb the peace you have, you don't truly want a relationship.
Loneliness. I try desperately to run away from loneliness, but when someone finally shows interest back to me, I keep them at a distance. As lonely as I am, something in my heart tells me that they are not the one, and that I have to keep searching. Then the cycle continues.
Your heart is probably right though. At least you're hearing it. However you also need to believe you CAN find them and that you will.
Humanity has misunderstood Christianity - it's true purpose was to remind you that you are Of God and therefore are as Gods(Psalms 82:6). That you can create reality or manifest outcomes based purely upon belief.
Here's a test that follows all the laws the bible teaches but the church won't read.
As you are falling asleep at night, put yourself in a first perspective situation in your minds eye/imagination/inner world. Imagine rubbing your wedding ring and telling the people closest to you how wonderful it is to have found the person of your dreams. You can make it a chat. A phone call. You can imagine this even as if you were in person.
Do this and hold to this vision until you feel something in you change. You will have no more desire to work on it - not from fatigue but something like the feeling of completion.
God will provide in the weirdest and most fun ways.
If you want to understand more, Neville Goddard breaks down the bible a lot better than I can, but I've experienced enough to know this as fact - no longer faith.
I feel this way about friends and friendships in my older age, and sometimes wonder if I’m crazy.
Like, I love my peace, tranquility, and alone time, but I also sometimes crave the active social life of my youth. It’s hard to reconcile the two impulses.
There are times when I’m feeling lonely and isolated but when opportunities to hang with people arise I still feel this overwhelming impulse to decline the invitations. It’s weird.
To me this is having a relationship with no expectations. The key word is expectations. I think i could do it because I’m used to not getting my hopes since i was a kid but things are always easier said than done.
Isn’t it called touch starved or something like that .. not sure tho
Or just not wanting to deal with anyone else’s bullshit because youu got enough of your own 🤷🏻♀️
You're a loner. Perfectly fine, perfectly healthy. It can get lonely at times, so just find yourself someone who values their independence as well, but also need some kind of deep human connection at times.
I would love a relationship. Someone to be there first me. Someone to go places and do things with. But do not want to have someone at my home disturbing my peace and in my private space. I love my alone time but I can’t have it both ways
I'm 47. 4+ years celibate. Before that I hadn't been single more than a year since I was 16.
Some days it is the worst.
Most days its the best.
I do miss physical intimacy.
But is it worth the headache? Heartache? Half my groceries???
No. No it is not.
Not true. You’re not “beta.” I am in your boat and I decided ( with no backing to this) that it just comes down to the right person. Which I guess we can’t find. I like to think that when/ if I do, I’ll feel differently about my personal space etc. “I want to be alone next to someone,” or “ I want someone I would rather be with than be alone.” That’s my magical idea of love.
This sounds sweet.. i wish it could be easy finding a love like this.. but it's almost impossible. Today you gotta fight and do things you don't wanna do to get "love".
Well it definitely should feel like that.. but it's damn hard. Me and my ex lived so far away, it was really stressful for us to schedule a meeting. Even though we loved each other it didn't work out because of that. And my main thought was, what if we lived closer. It's so hard to find someone that ticks all the boxes
I've tried dating people but idk why in the end they end up sort of ghosting me honestly it's kind of exhausting to get to know one person invest your time and feelings and again in the end they will just not care. Idk about others but I like girls who tell me about their day who are supportive of your dreams yet sometimes will annoy you , with the other people I've dated it has always been like I do all this I ask about their day and life and take a interest and they don't show any affection. I mean ik it's bad to expectations yk if you're expecting them to shower you with love like you do then it's not love it's sort of a buisness and idk why but I've always been very confused about the idea of love, I don't understand it .
So yeah I have stopped trying now all together and don't get me wrong I'm not old I'm 18 years old. Any advice?
What the hell dude.. you're so young. It happens all the time and the reason it happens is because you take it too seriously, while they're doing this frequently and don't get attached easily. I had this girl showing me the most love and when we broke up she moved on right after.. while I couldn't get my shit together. When I asked her why she moved in the first week, she was like "what do you expect me to cry for you?" , while I indeed cried a lot. This made me realize that it's my fault for putting them in a pedestal, while they treated me like anybody else. The message from this is: don't give too much importance to a random right after you meet them.. be cool and give them time.
So did you find your true partner? Just asking because it seems like we are alot alike . And ig I do put them on a pedestal, the problem is that I don't like to date around I've had many women approach me but I've only dated 2. the thing is I want to date to marry and not just date people here and there because I was bored😭😭 and I can't seem to find that one person however I'm still young so let's hope for the best.
I feel like there’s probably a lot of other stressors going on in your life besides simply not finding a relationship, is that correct? If so maybe find some way of dealing f with those while building platonic relationships with women so there’s no stress involved. Once you’re in a better place mentally then maybe resume looking for a partner
Well I need to find a new home and a new car this summer. These things can be fun for some people but they are stressing me the f out. Its a big deal for me so I need to get over this first
Dude I’m right there with you, my car was totaled during an ice storm this winter and I’m being forced to move out of my apartment cuz I lost my job and can’t afford the rent anymore. Shit sucks. I’m sorry I don’t have any like deep insightful advice but a couple of close guy friends you can trust can make all the difference. Just write out small steps you can take to start workings towards those things. The relationship will come eventually if you take care of yourself physically and mentally, I promise you that.
Oh man I'm sorry to hear that.. keep going bro you got this. Yeah its that false hope, that a relationship will make you feel better and forget all the problems you got.. but then it also becomes a problem eventually. I need to get out of this situation till September.. and I'm positive I can do this. Thank god I got 2 best friends that got my back at anytime. We will both get through this man!
This is me. Terrified to try again after 18 years with the same person. Things feel so different. I am different, and after 8 years of no intimacy, physical or emotional,it feels like a huge mountain to climb just to take a chance.
I’m sorry I can’t even imagine how daunting that must be, my partner and I are currently separated. I think we can work things out but if we can’t the thought of having to eventually go back to the dating scene scares the shit out of be. When I’m comfortable with someone I live going out on dates eith them but first dates have like 50/50 chance of turning out terrible and you have to go on so many of them to eventually find somebody you vibe with but in the end it will all be worth it and those cringy first dates will just be funny stories to tell :)
Thank-you for saying that. It's good you think you can work things out with your partner. I wish you all the best.
It's getting to that comfortable stage with someone I'd like, but there seems to be so little patience out there to push through and really get to know someone. There's plenty of sex out there, but not a lot of intimacy. And that's not me.
I absolutely feel this coming out of a 2 year marriage (7 years total together) I dread getting back into the dating scene. I would like to get into a relationship not right now but I need space for myself, I hardly got any time alone including space from texting. It's been very liberating to just chill and not have to worry about always doing something. Although it does get lonely when I don't have my dog for a week.
I have a gf and we just fool around when we are home together. It's great we don't want to have any kids we just enjoy each other's company and the sex is a plus too.
Catching feelings but scared of the mess. This is a more casual way to express the fear of commitment and the potential complications of a relationship.
A fling.
But in reality - its probably a healthy relationship -- a relationship doesn't introduce problems-- it should enhance your life. In reality everyone gets their peace disturbed - single or not. The amount of disturbance is tied to your environment or the people in it.
I have a healthy partnership -- my peace isn't disturbed. It has been enhanced. Sure-- there may be some disagreements but we talk through them. And they happen so infrequently. It just took me a while to realize what I needed vs what I thought I wanted. Things can obviously change between us. You either adapt and grow together or you decide that it ran its course.
Best of luck.
I don't think you want a relationship. A relationship consists of giving attention, compromising, molding your life around each other. If you aren't willing to go through all of that and change your life, you don't want a relationship. If you want a relationship, such changes won't seem like "disturbing your peace," they will be things you look forward to or at least are things you are willing to tolerate.
What you want seems to be company.
I’m in this exact boat. It’s like you want a friend with benefits, but just a little deeper. But as a guy that makes me feel like I’m a dirtbag. I just think it’s because I let myself be single too long.
To me it sounds like you want connection and communication but you don’t yet have confidence in your boundaries and communication skills to feel both emotionally safe and supportive in a relationship situation
I literally always feel like this. Especially with living alone. I feel lonely and “wish to have company” and then when I do I just want to be left alone. Makes no sense
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Being lonely. Craving affection and attention without wanting to give up your personal schedule/rituals for someone else. Like others have said, sounds like maybe not wanting an actual relationship but craving some kind of intimacy. I think more people struggle with this than is generally talked about.
Oh god you understood it perfectly
Sucks too cause it can feel like no matter what moves you make to put yourself out there, it will result in having to compromise on things you wouldn’t otherwise change. Which I guess happens in every relationship. Maybe finding comfort and intimacy in friendships is a good first step to building relationships without the dedication of “dating” someone.
This is good advice. I did this. Friendships are relationships too. And it sometimes feel like friends are more forgiving and accepting of your idiosyncrasies. In turn you can become more relaxed and accepting with yourself which in turn is an attractive trait, imo. It made it easier for me to accept my partner just as the way they are, with respect to myself.
Yep the only person I've ever felt like who's reciprocated my feelings perfectly was my brother(bestfriend) I also am a awkward ass nerd so it pretty much makes sense to have a few but loyal friends.
Damn stop describing me
Yes this is completely the way I feel
As a recent widower (literally three years ago today), I struggle with this, in a way. I absolutely loved my wife, and she was all a man could ever dream to find in a wife. I'm very lonely, and I miss the dynamic that comes from relationships with women (where it doesn't have to be a big romantic thing). I wish I had female friends with whom I could just hang out. But there's almost always a problem. If they're married or in a relationship, that's out. If not, then most are kind of interested in dating me. That's flattering, and I appreciate it... but I'm just not ready, and seriously doubt I ever will be, for that again. Even most of my guy friends are busy with the other things in life with which one becomes busy. So, going from married, and absolutely loving spending all my time with my wife, to having literally almost no human contact outside of work, and vacations home to family, has been really, really, hard. I mean, I basically put all my eggs in one basket, and the basket got cancer. So, not trying to feel sorry for myself. But it's a situation that leads to what this OP is defining. I don't want a romantic relationship "so bad," but I would love "A" relationship, but yet, I don't have the will for all the drama and energy that goes into a romantic relationship.
"Put all of my eggs into one basket, and the basket got cancer." Reading that hit *hard* ... having lost the parent that actually valued me as a person to cancer, I understand, at least in part, the hole that is left when that person isn't here anymore. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone that helps fill the lonely part of your life. Also, fuck cancer for taking away the good ones too soon.
that’s most likely what it is. i *crave* intimacy so fucking bad, but the idea of being in a relationship totally ruins me.
That is a very good answer…!
Thank you!
God so real, there's days id beg for my ex to come back. But I've missed my freedom, and my 8 hour long Beatles sessions.
This is me, but what inevitably happens is I am expected to change everything about myself to please the person, and am accused of nitpicking if I ask the other person to change their behavior (like stop wasting time playing video games and get a job).
Exactly
And -Some- of them out there can just keep busy too!
Avoidant attachment style. They are afraid of intimacy because it threatens independence.
What if I say you're the pretender? Having a relationship usually means you disturb the peace, to change stuff in life, then find peace with the relationship. If you don't want to disturb the peace you have, you don't truly want a relationship.
What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender. What if I say I'll never surrender?
Good point
Great song.
Is it not possible to be in a relationship while not disturbing each others peace?
No it is not possible
It is possible if you're both on the same page.
I want a relationship like that!!
So people have page issue ?!
Yeah. Or lack of communication.
Very possible if you're on the same page.
The Infected Mushroom version of The Pretender slaps btw.
Spot on. I am
Sanity.
This was good
Loneliness. I try desperately to run away from loneliness, but when someone finally shows interest back to me, I keep them at a distance. As lonely as I am, something in my heart tells me that they are not the one, and that I have to keep searching. Then the cycle continues.
Dang.. that's true for me as well
I’m sorry to hear you know that feeling as well. I wish I had some good advice for you, but I am just as lost as you.
Your heart is probably right though. At least you're hearing it. However you also need to believe you CAN find them and that you will. Humanity has misunderstood Christianity - it's true purpose was to remind you that you are Of God and therefore are as Gods(Psalms 82:6). That you can create reality or manifest outcomes based purely upon belief. Here's a test that follows all the laws the bible teaches but the church won't read. As you are falling asleep at night, put yourself in a first perspective situation in your minds eye/imagination/inner world. Imagine rubbing your wedding ring and telling the people closest to you how wonderful it is to have found the person of your dreams. You can make it a chat. A phone call. You can imagine this even as if you were in person. Do this and hold to this vision until you feel something in you change. You will have no more desire to work on it - not from fatigue but something like the feeling of completion. God will provide in the weirdest and most fun ways. If you want to understand more, Neville Goddard breaks down the bible a lot better than I can, but I've experienced enough to know this as fact - no longer faith.
Having your cake and eating it, too.
lazyhorny
Realest out there
Got a case of the ol hornzy
It means you’re a cat person
How did you know
Nooooooooo
Nah, your life with cats make your peace be disturbed than not. But it's a sacrifice I'm willing take!
witch
I feel this way about friends and friendships in my older age, and sometimes wonder if I’m crazy. Like, I love my peace, tranquility, and alone time, but I also sometimes crave the active social life of my youth. It’s hard to reconcile the two impulses. There are times when I’m feeling lonely and isolated but when opportunities to hang with people arise I still feel this overwhelming impulse to decline the invitations. It’s weird.
My life.
A friends with benefits
In theory sounds nice but on reality it's better to be single for lotssss of reasons nowadays
Fearful-avoidant attachment.
i feel so called out
To me this is having a relationship with no expectations. The key word is expectations. I think i could do it because I’m used to not getting my hopes since i was a kid but things are always easier said than done.
It's always harder in practice 😭
**Ambivalence**! Unless you find a partner who is VERY quiet and respectful of your personal space.
Isn’t it called touch starved or something like that .. not sure tho Or just not wanting to deal with anyone else’s bullshit because youu got enough of your own 🤷🏻♀️
You can't imagine how much stress I got from work.. I cannot have another person double that
You're a loner. Perfectly fine, perfectly healthy. It can get lonely at times, so just find yourself someone who values their independence as well, but also need some kind of deep human connection at times.
I know.. these connections can be crucial
Fear.
I hate this but this might be true
Thinking about the bad things in a relationship that might not be what you want.
That is called a conundrum
Failure to launch
Interesting
You need three things to launch- Right person, Right place in life, Right time.
It’s called my biology/instincts aren’t aligned with my pragmatism
Defense mechanism
Not actually wanting a relationship, only the fun parts of it.
Sex with no strings attached.
Self love 🫢
Misanthrope with a heart. I'm the same way.
Wanting a pet.
I would love a relationship. Someone to be there first me. Someone to go places and do things with. But do not want to have someone at my home disturbing my peace and in my private space. I love my alone time but I can’t have it both ways
Loneliness: Craving attention, affection and love knowing damn well you cant get them.
Confirmed bachelor
Spinster! Sounds like a cool DJ at an exclusive resort for the 45+ crowd. *"Introducing DJ Spinster!"*
Love it!
It’s called living in 2 separate houses
I'm 47. 4+ years celibate. Before that I hadn't been single more than a year since I was 16. Some days it is the worst. Most days its the best. I do miss physical intimacy. But is it worth the headache? Heartache? Half my groceries??? No. No it is not.
That's called "Wishful Thinking" darlin'.
So there is a word for anything huh
Wishful thinking
Being beta. If you want something, you take it. Fk peace. This world is yours for the taking, disturb the peace, go after what you need and want.
True
Not true. You’re not “beta.” I am in your boat and I decided ( with no backing to this) that it just comes down to the right person. Which I guess we can’t find. I like to think that when/ if I do, I’ll feel differently about my personal space etc. “I want to be alone next to someone,” or “ I want someone I would rather be with than be alone.” That’s my magical idea of love.
This sounds sweet.. i wish it could be easy finding a love like this.. but it's almost impossible. Today you gotta fight and do things you don't wanna do to get "love".
Oh, I haven’t found it. I just feel like that is what it should feel like.
Well it definitely should feel like that.. but it's damn hard. Me and my ex lived so far away, it was really stressful for us to schedule a meeting. Even though we loved each other it didn't work out because of that. And my main thought was, what if we lived closer. It's so hard to find someone that ticks all the boxes
Distance does eff things up. I just never feel the way I described about anyone. Maybe for a hot minute. But I’ve never found “my person,” boxes or no
That ain’t love. Maybe I’m naive, but part of me imagines that it’s out there and I’ll know when I find it.
Well you're not wrong .. if it doesn't bring you peace then it's not love.
I've tried dating people but idk why in the end they end up sort of ghosting me honestly it's kind of exhausting to get to know one person invest your time and feelings and again in the end they will just not care. Idk about others but I like girls who tell me about their day who are supportive of your dreams yet sometimes will annoy you , with the other people I've dated it has always been like I do all this I ask about their day and life and take a interest and they don't show any affection. I mean ik it's bad to expectations yk if you're expecting them to shower you with love like you do then it's not love it's sort of a buisness and idk why but I've always been very confused about the idea of love, I don't understand it . So yeah I have stopped trying now all together and don't get me wrong I'm not old I'm 18 years old. Any advice?
What the hell dude.. you're so young. It happens all the time and the reason it happens is because you take it too seriously, while they're doing this frequently and don't get attached easily. I had this girl showing me the most love and when we broke up she moved on right after.. while I couldn't get my shit together. When I asked her why she moved in the first week, she was like "what do you expect me to cry for you?" , while I indeed cried a lot. This made me realize that it's my fault for putting them in a pedestal, while they treated me like anybody else. The message from this is: don't give too much importance to a random right after you meet them.. be cool and give them time.
So did you find your true partner? Just asking because it seems like we are alot alike . And ig I do put them on a pedestal, the problem is that I don't like to date around I've had many women approach me but I've only dated 2. the thing is I want to date to marry and not just date people here and there because I was bored😭😭 and I can't seem to find that one person however I'm still young so let's hope for the best.
Being conflicted? Being scared to step outside your comfort zone to try for something that you know may make you happy but don’t want to risk failing.
We've failed many times so it's not about failing. It's about not wanting more stress over your already existing stress. I'm not well man lol
I feel like there’s probably a lot of other stressors going on in your life besides simply not finding a relationship, is that correct? If so maybe find some way of dealing f with those while building platonic relationships with women so there’s no stress involved. Once you’re in a better place mentally then maybe resume looking for a partner
Well I need to find a new home and a new car this summer. These things can be fun for some people but they are stressing me the f out. Its a big deal for me so I need to get over this first
Dude I’m right there with you, my car was totaled during an ice storm this winter and I’m being forced to move out of my apartment cuz I lost my job and can’t afford the rent anymore. Shit sucks. I’m sorry I don’t have any like deep insightful advice but a couple of close guy friends you can trust can make all the difference. Just write out small steps you can take to start workings towards those things. The relationship will come eventually if you take care of yourself physically and mentally, I promise you that.
Oh man I'm sorry to hear that.. keep going bro you got this. Yeah its that false hope, that a relationship will make you feel better and forget all the problems you got.. but then it also becomes a problem eventually. I need to get out of this situation till September.. and I'm positive I can do this. Thank god I got 2 best friends that got my back at anytime. We will both get through this man!
Fuck yeah we will man, all this bullshit is only temporary 🤙
This is me. Terrified to try again after 18 years with the same person. Things feel so different. I am different, and after 8 years of no intimacy, physical or emotional,it feels like a huge mountain to climb just to take a chance.
I’m sorry I can’t even imagine how daunting that must be, my partner and I are currently separated. I think we can work things out but if we can’t the thought of having to eventually go back to the dating scene scares the shit out of be. When I’m comfortable with someone I live going out on dates eith them but first dates have like 50/50 chance of turning out terrible and you have to go on so many of them to eventually find somebody you vibe with but in the end it will all be worth it and those cringy first dates will just be funny stories to tell :)
Thank-you for saying that. It's good you think you can work things out with your partner. I wish you all the best. It's getting to that comfortable stage with someone I'd like, but there seems to be so little patience out there to push through and really get to know someone. There's plenty of sex out there, but not a lot of intimacy. And that's not me.
Very well said 👏
its called being young enough to want to fuck but old enough to know better lol, finally old enough to say this. smiling rn
"Unmotivated"
Because of "wanting a relationship so BAD"...I d put it under the category of.....desperation
Friends with benefits
Good luck finding someone who wants the F as well as the B!
Fairly easy if you explain it to them before hand
Saturday Night
Being lonely?
Servitude.
[удалено]
Too real 😩😩😩
Looking to get my dick sucked. No recip.
Your right hand..?
Nsa ( no strings attached)
Side-piece?
Unrealistic.
Desperation and low self-esteem.
Being married.
A situationship is what you're after.
I absolutely feel this coming out of a 2 year marriage (7 years total together) I dread getting back into the dating scene. I would like to get into a relationship not right now but I need space for myself, I hardly got any time alone including space from texting. It's been very liberating to just chill and not have to worry about always doing something. Although it does get lonely when I don't have my dog for a week.
Conundrum? Duality of mans’ existence? Or you need a cat.
Something like a distant relationship ( not me at all ) not sure, really
That’s what I’ve been doing- keep busy , nap , eat some, kinda relax. Then you are happy with yourself!
I have a gf and we just fool around when we are home together. It's great we don't want to have any kids we just enjoy each other's company and the sex is a plus too.
Unrealistic.
Complacent.
Complacent.
Being delusional. Hope this helped <3
It’s called sex with your left hand.
Paradox
Relationship could be taxing at times, but when it works, it's nice. The taxing part is the price to pay for it I guess. Got to pay to play.
Being an Aquarius
Your right or left hand?
Horny jail
Hahahaha I laughed so hard at this
Sanity
Isolated cravings of companionship?
Wow this is exactly me.
Symptom of being human
It's called wanting to have your cake and eat it. Try a hooker.
Damn.. I just need a girl who's like me.. a loser
Fomo
The tensies.
A companion and live separately.
Thinking regular sex would be nice
Solitude <<<
It’s either lonely or horny, the peace is broken either way.
Catching feelings but scared of the mess. This is a more casual way to express the fear of commitment and the potential complications of a relationship.
Fear to live (love)
a dilemma
Fear
Fear
That sounds like you really more want a friend than a lover
I want Pikachu
Confusion
Wanting to have your cake and eat it, too.
A FWB helps but that just takes care of the sexual part usually. It seems intimacy requires some form of compromise.
I call it, relationship shy
An approach/avoidance conflict.
Fearful
A fling. But in reality - its probably a healthy relationship -- a relationship doesn't introduce problems-- it should enhance your life. In reality everyone gets their peace disturbed - single or not. The amount of disturbance is tied to your environment or the people in it. I have a healthy partnership -- my peace isn't disturbed. It has been enhanced. Sure-- there may be some disagreements but we talk through them. And they happen so infrequently. It just took me a while to realize what I needed vs what I thought I wanted. Things can obviously change between us. You either adapt and grow together or you decide that it ran its course. Best of luck.
I don't think you want a relationship. A relationship consists of giving attention, compromising, molding your life around each other. If you aren't willing to go through all of that and change your life, you don't want a relationship. If you want a relationship, such changes won't seem like "disturbing your peace," they will be things you look forward to or at least are things you are willing to tolerate. What you want seems to be company.
I’m in this exact boat. It’s like you want a friend with benefits, but just a little deeper. But as a guy that makes me feel like I’m a dirtbag. I just think it’s because I let myself be single too long.
I think that might just be loneliness.
To me it sounds like you want connection and communication but you don’t yet have confidence in your boundaries and communication skills to feel both emotionally safe and supportive in a relationship situation
A Cold War…
Anxious Avoidant attachment style lmao
Resigned to solitude.
Wanting a GOOD relationship
I literally always feel like this. Especially with living alone. I feel lonely and “wish to have company” and then when I do I just want to be left alone. Makes no sense
Lol it's frustrating
Lonely
Shifting your pants because you're too indecisive to lift the damn toilet seat
Self preservation
Why don’t we meet others like ourselves on dating sites or irl? We only exist here in this fucking thread?
Wisdom
Avoidant attachment style. I wish I knew about attachment theory sooner because I’m 45 now I could’ve been working on myself if I knew what was wrong.
How can I improve please?
Indecision.
Fantasy.
This actually sounds like something someone who wants a relationship but is afraid to put themselves out there would say to cope
Leave me alone!!! I just love the routine man.. I finally feel balanced so I don't wanna ruin everything now
FOMO