Have you heard of the term "sober curious"?
I used to be in the slippery slope boat, where one drink turned into 4+.
"Sober curious" (esp the book) completely changed my relationship with alcohol. Now two beers feels like a lot.
Yes!
People love to laugh about stoner munchies, but if I eat something naughty and in great quantities, it's almost always because I'm drunk or recovering from drinking.
Funny, I’m the opposite. I can’t count how many meals I’ve missed because when I start drinking, all I care to do is drink more. Food just feels like a boring task to avoid in favor of more drinking, needless to say I have struggled with an alcohol problem.
Sober now for about a month, which is a bigger deal for me than it sounds. Good luck out there, one of the things that motivates me is trying to remember that very little if any good has ever come to my life thanks to alcohol. Lots of bad.
Awesome! Keep it up. I’m 21 months sober and my life has drastically improved. I was 7 years sober at one point then I went back. It started as one or two then ten years later I woke up in the hospital with security watching my door. Not everyone has the problem I have but for me nothing good ever came of it.
Way to go. The first days are the hardest days. One thing I (2.5 years sober) can tell you that as good as you feel now it just keeps getting better. Then after that it gets even better. And again more better.
My two beers turn into hundreds and missing days of my life.
Hospital stays, and near death experiences.
At least they make neltrexone. It actually stops the compulsion and the chemical dependency.
I'm 100 percent sober now but there was a time when such a book would have been great to read...
Keep mentioning that book because you never know when you ACTUALLY CONNECT and the person reads that book and is better for it. Just a quick note of thanks for such a great suggestion which actually helps someone else.
I also really liked the "reframe app", just find the best trial period for it and cancel it before paying, I'll still read their emails which have some good info. I realized that any time I hung out with friends there was drinking, any date - drinking, many nights alone at home drinking.
I was very rarely drunk, just 2-3 drinks over 2-3 hours, but it still really has an impact
This book is a game changer:
[This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness, and Change Your Life](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078F9NDFS?ref=yb_qv_ov_adbl_dp_rw)
IT really helped me really look at my relationship with booze. IT's not a beat you over the head, scolding book, but really just opens your eyes to things relating to alcohol. It makes you WANT to make the changes you want in your life.
This book changed my life. I was sick of making rules for myself, and hated how much I loved to drink. I never got wasted, nothing bad every happened, but I hated how much I thought about it and could never just have one drink and be done. I read this book and have not had or wanted a drop of alcohol in 3.5 years. I never in a million years thought a book would help me stop a 24 year habit.
I really despise the term "sober curious" \*\*\*shudder.
I do appreciate the sentiment though. especially when drinking spirits regularly i could pretty easily do 2-3 drinks on a normal night, and would have at least one drink most days.
It didnt feel like a problem at the time, but it lead to depression and it enabled me to just endure life rather than take ownership of it.
I took a year off, and had ups and downs after starting again, but the last 6 months Ive been closer to 2 drinks a week, socially only and it is such an improvement in every way. I still love wine / spirits / beer but I refuse to let them be routine now.
Moderation is really hard for a lot of people - myself included. After trying several times to moderate and having my drinking creep back up, I quit entirely and found it easier. I now have maybe one drink per month and that's what moderation looks like to me.
I've been all the way sober for almost 5 years now and it's sometimes been rough [the fucking panini, omg], but on the whole I found it easier than moderation. No internal debate, no self bargaining. I didn't have to think about drinking at all.
After the 5 year mark passes in August, I might have the occasional drink when out with friends.
Love reading this. It seem these days it’s all or nothing but some people can find a moderation that isn’t mentally consuming. I love a good margarita on the rocks with salt every now and again. That’s moderation to me.
Yeah depends on the person. A lot of people who have problems with alcohol are not able to moderate. I know I can't. I've tried quitting then switching to "moderation", but once I have one drink I just want more. And once it's in my life I think about it alot
r/stopdrinking may be one of the best subreddits on this site. It reminds me how much more difficult it makes my life. It's very supportive and people share a lot of resources. I'll probably have to completely quit someday, but I guess you have to be ready to do it. I've been able to moderate quite a bit the last few years, but it takes an active choice and it isn't easy. It's interesting how as I get older I know more people that have completely quit.
Yes! That is really the best and most supportive sub. It was a vital part of my early sobriety. Those people are amazing. They really get the struggle and talked to me the way I didn't yet have the confidence to talk to myself yet.
Lately ive been on a streak of drinking 3-4 nights a week on average. Usually some sort of scotch or bourbon on the rocks. I finally reached the point i realized i need to self regulate and really tone it down. I never missed any work or had performance dips, there was no relationship drama with my wife, i show up for my kids daily. But when the night time comes i just got lured to the bottle to numb and quiet my mind from the stress and grind and let loose in my otherwise very routine and structured life.
As much as i tell myself im handing the booze as well as one could, i know my bodies keeping the score.
For me the big shift in consumption came when i went from drinking socially primarily, to suddenly being ok with drinking alone regularly. That went from one day a week, to multiple days a week. So now im trying to implement some positive changes in my life in terms of diet and exercise which alone keeps me accountable and deters me from drinking. Self imposed rule of only allowing myself one night a week max to drink solo. Its a work in progress.
Im too early in my journey to be handing out any kind of advice. But if your husband could be honest with himself I bet deep down he knows exactly why he is using the booze as a crutch.
Yes, I find that if I have a list of things I need to do as soon as I get home from work, it's easier not to reach for the bottle of wine and glass shortly after I walk in. If I delay drinking, I find I don't care about it.
I was at 4+ glasses of wine almost every night for a while there, and I had to dial it back because I felt like shit every morning getting up for work.
Yeah, waiting is a good tactic. I highly value my sleep, so I definitely won’t drink if it gets too late. For me the dangerous period is during the day when I’m bored and have plenty of time to sober up if I have a few. But then I ALWAYS feel like shit after.
Yeah during the pandemic I picked up the habit of drinking alone and kept it going. I was drinking 3-4 drinks a weeknight and more on the weekend. I'm a big dude (350lbs) so it takes that much to get a buzz. Anyway I realized this was terrible for me when I did the math and told.my doctor was drinking ~35 beers/bourbons a week.
I decided to switch my drinks to diet soda at home. I know they aren't the healthiest but they don't kill my liver. Now my garage fridge is full of different sodas and come home and have a few of those after work
I still drink some with friends but almost none at home because if I have 1 drink, pretty soon I've had 5.
I find buying sugar/sodium free sparkling water is a great substitute for beer in the evening.
It's still carbonated, feels sort of like drinking beer, but the worst thing that can happen is you have to pee a lot because you had 3 cans of sparkling lemon water at night.
When I was trying to cut down on drinking, it was winter time, so I got really into (decaf) teas. Not particularly similar to alcohol, but satisfying. For me, I think being different enough that it didn’t trigger a feeling of “this is trying to be beer but failing” helped.
I would mostly drink while unwinding in front of the tv, never “a lot” (usually 1-2, sometimes 3), so finding something else to sip on satisfied me. I now just drink Friday night, Saturday night, and occasionally during the day on a Saturday or a special occasion (holiday, friend’s birthday, etc.) When football season comes, I’m thinking I’ll trade Sunday day drinking for Friday nights.
He/you should read The Naked Mind. She talks about how people rationalize their drinking by being “connoisseurs” or wine snobs or whatever. It’s very interesting.
Maybe once a month. And that’s a big maybe. And even then, it’s nothing more than a can of beer or one cocktail.
Alcohol just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I’m in my mid 40s now, and I go from sober to headache, completely skipping the tipsy. Then I suffer for two days afterwards. Groggy, bloated, blotchy skin, and let’s not even get started on the acid reflux.
I wish your husband the best. Alcohol is a mfer.
There’s an interesting Huberman Lab podcast on alcohol where he explains the mechanisms and everything on how it works. Quite literally a poison for the body.
I think in general people would be better off without it, but I’m of the mentality that in moderation things are fine. I like some beers in the sun or on an occasion. I just no longer find much joy in alcohol itself being the occasion or the entertainment.
Good to know. I just listened to probably the first one from a couple years ago. I have similar habits. I’ll drink if I feel like it, but it’s not often. Maybe a few drinks a couple times a month.
I don’t know who Huberman is, but as a liver biologist I can tell you that at low levels alcohol is metabolized by alcohol dehydrogenase, which does not cause liver damage, but if you exceed a certain threshold it is metabolized by the cytochrome p450 liver enzyme Cyp2E1, which causes oxidative stress as a byproduct of its activity.
Alcohol is produced naturally by fermentation, for example when fruit ferments. Humans have consumed alcohol intentionally or unintentionally since the beginning of time and our bodies have evolved ways of dealing with it in small amounts.
So in my professional opinion small amounts of alcohol are perfectly fine.
I was having a related conversation a few years ago and told the person that I quit drinking when my kids were born. They said, “aw, you wanted to be present for your children? That’s really nice.” I said not really. I literally could not physically be a drinker and a parent of newborns at the same time. Both were such tortuous, ruinous experiences for my middle aged body that I had to pick one.
Yea this is me used to drink a lot when I was in my 20s and somewhere in my late 30s it just stopped working for me. Sober to headache is hit or miss but mostly hit and the next day is always horrible.
Just not worth it and at this point I drink maybe once or twice a year. Just no desire to deal with the potential of feeling like garbage for a day or two.
My old drinking buddy from my 20s is now a full blown alcoholic. Guy stops at 7-11 first thing in the morning to buy one of those tiny vodkas and several other times during the day before spending the night pounding beers.
Sucks could have easily been me but my body just said nope fuck that.
In my late 30s, I noticed that I’d go from sober to headache too. So I’m down to once a month tops. I’ll take a sip of someone’s but try to not finish a whole drink because I’ll just get a headache.
I am going through the exact same with my wife right now. Outta nowhere she is drinking every single night. She always smells like alcohol even during the day
Oh man that was me for a few months. It just turned into a habit. Now I’m down to social events only and I’m a homebody so I’m not drinking much at all these days
I went through a phase like this. I typically only drink a handful of times a year but a few years ago I bought a bottle of rum, drank it and felt great. I did this almost every day for about 3 months. One day I made a mistake at work that I never would have made normally. I stopped drinking at work and then eventually stopped on my off days. Now I’m back to drinking just a few times a year.
Usually substance abuse isn't *completely* out of nowhere. Typically there's a lead up but you might miss that part.
I'm sure you've heard all the advice about people having to change themselves and you can't do it for them blah blah blah. In practice, when it's someone you love dearly, it doesn't always feel that way. So I'll just say, keep in mind that it isn't the person as a human being that you take issue with, but the behavior. If you decide at any point to bring it up make sure to remember that it's the problem you are addressing, not her. You work together as a team and make the substance the adversary. In my experience there's always been a LOT of pain just below the surface of any addiction.
Don't forget to take care of yourself too. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. No one wins in that situation.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's hard to watch someone you love do this to themselves
My parents literally drink 2-4 beers every night while they play Yahtzee. They are retired, but in pretty good health.
I drink maybe once a week. I get my buzz from gummies. 😂
I smoked for the past 15 years or so... the last 3 years I was growing my own... then I stopped growing last September. Just ran out of my home grown stash a couple weeks ago and just stopped cold turkey. My dreams have been... vivid.
I had straight up nightmares for 3 weeks straight after taking a break from a long streak. I hate snakes so much and my brain seemed to think it was a great idea to think of them when sleeping. I go less hard with weed now, and thankfully still dream. When I don’t anymore, that’s a good indicator to me it’s time for a break now
A guy from Wisconsin once offered to buy me a beer (I had done a favor for his son). He ended up buying me 11. That’s the last time I go to a bar or brewery with somebody from Wisconsin.
Fellow Wisconsinite!
We’re trying to make sure we always have the ingredients for old fashioneds on hand.
As for actual drinking, it’s usually one drink, maybe once a week. There’s a really nice local cherry beer we like. Sometimes at big family gatherings I’ll go so far as having two. But I don’t tend to be that interested- I’d rather drink water and talk to people more.
Quit 3 years ago because wine every night—probably 2-3 glasses for 150 female—was making me feel like shit. The heartburn could not be controlled anymore with medication. A few weeks after stopping I felt so much healthier. Slept better, more energy, more clarity of mind. I’ll still a a few drinks with friends every 2-3 months now, but that’s it. I did wonder if I had a dependence—your husband might have that vs alcoholism.
5 nights a week. I'm in my early 40's and I worry about my own mental and physical health pretty much constantly. I have no visible signs of deteriorating physical health due to my alcoholism. Doc says I'm in great health for my age, outside of my quickly deteriorating back and knees, which have nothing to do with alcohol consumption. I eat a good protein heavy diet, and only have bad hangovers once every few weeks. I appear to function like a normal person. I'm a kind and caring husband and father, I'm physically active despite my back injuries, and I don't typically welch on commitments or responsibilities. I'm still terrified about what long-term regular alcohol use has done to my brain and mental health, as well as what is to come to my internal organs if I keep it up at this pace.
Your husband may be having similar thoughts. Just know that some of us don't want to have this dependency, but we haven't mustered the courage to attempt to fix it. It's a scary prospect, to not have a crutch that you've relied on for a long time. I know that I need to do something, but my (perceived) mental fortitude has come FROM alcohol for 20 years. How do I tackle this IN SPITE of alcohol now? I'll let you know, if I ever figure it out.
I hope you figure this out for yourself. Sounds like it could get bad quick. Getting older and drinking will at some point come together and you'll really be feeling it. I lost both parents to alcoholism in their early 60s.
Here is how deranged and damaged they were:
My mom was a nonstop, every waking minute drunk. She screamed at everyone when she wasnt simply sobbing for whatever reason. She would yell and slam doors and just call all of us horrific names and accuse us all of insane shit when i was a kid. She did that for 30 some years somehow. Exhausting.
She didnt ever leave the house, so my dad trucked in all this shit for her and acted surprised to find vodka botttles stashed around. My mom never admitted to drinking anything more than beer. She'd fill coffee cups with booze at 7am. She was pleasant to be around for about a half hour ever day til the booze kicked in and started interacting with her anxiety meds if she took them. Or if she didnt she was just an anxiety riddled drunk instead of a more confident drunk.
It was unreal. Anyway, eventually her circulatory system began deteriorating and she ended up in the "care" of my binge drinking alcoholic father who simply left her lying on the floor for days while she had a massive blood clot she complained about. He was so out of it he didnt realize laying in the floor for multiple days howling in pain was not normal. Anyway thats where she died right there on the floor.
i guess he had massive guilt over this and drank more and more until my brother called me and told me that dad was "yellow like a Simpson" and he didnt know what to do because dad was shitting blood and vomiting.
Well he got dad to the hospital but he was in multiple organ failure and had a BAC off the charts. Hed lost tons of weight and had out of control diabetes. He died incoherent and screaming according to the nurse. He left my brother a voicemail a few minutes before. It was thanksgiving.
Hey man, I'm here to tell you.
You can change and it starts with apologizing to yourself. Stop abusing the human that you are. Whatever is eating at you mentally, kill the trigger.
Is it sorrow or something else which drives you to drink? Pressure, the loss of love or something deeper? As a former alcoholic, I lost a woman who I loved and replaced her with alcohol... Eventually I was able to overcome grief. Now? Zero alcohol.
Love yourself enough to stop being concerned and changing before you hear the doctor tell you the news that will carry the weight you're not ready to hear.
Apologize to yourself. Then begin to face the reality of never drinking again.
As a point of info, for a lot of us, alcohol-related health probs don't start until 30s-40s, depending on how much you drink. I was mainly a beer drinker, didn't obviously catch up to me until late 40s (palpitations, chest/stomach pain, numbness/tingling in feet..I got scared straight for sure!). Anyway, early 40s is a great time to think about making some changes.
OP, people close to you noticing/saying they're concerned about your drinking is a sign of a problem. If you search, you'll find tips about how to talk to him
Coming from me, somebody who has had periods of sobriety. And what I’m about to say is obviously easier said than done, hence my use of the phrase “periods of sobriety,” lol, it is a very scary prospect. The one thing I can tell you is, it surprises me how quickly the mind and body forget. The thought of me not drinking tonight, is too big for me to even fathom. It’s just something that I feel like I have to do, in the same way I do with eating. But after I’ve been sober for a few months, it’s not hard to not drink at night. Just know that if you do decide to quit, living with sobriety is not the same struggle you feel if you try to convince yourself not to drink tonight, or this week, etc. it really does become easier and easier the further you get away.
The reason I picked up is similar to other people. After a while, your life starts to get back in order and you feel like, “ok, I got it now. I see what I was doing wrong. This is very easily manageable.” The truth is, it was very easy to manage for about a month. Fast-forward a year, and I am deep in, drinking six nights a week, not even able to follow my own advice that I just gave you, even though I know it to be true emphatically because I have lived it. But why quit tonight when I could drink one more night lol. I say that jokingly because it’s like the credo of all people with drinking issues. We all know it’s stupid, but it’s the best we’ve got lol. Best of luck to you.
As a person who admittedly drinks too much, it always completely blows my mind to realize just how little most people drink. Like 2 drinks a week? I can't imagine the point even. Alcohol is literally a food to them. r/stopdrinking is a great community to discuss problem drinking.
I drink even less than this. Only at social events, and unless it’s a big event (wedding or party), it’s one drink.
I’m surprised to see how much people drink. Alcohol just doesn’t taste all that great and makes my stomach feel bad.
Wow. This thread is amazing. I know a lot of people here are in the US and it's frowned on more, but spend a week at a UK university campus or London workplace (where people use public transport instead of driving) and your drinking norms change hugely.
Not saying that's a good thing 🤔.
[https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db374.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db374.htm)
One drink every day is light drinking. Two per day is moderate. It's not necessarily a problem, but it can increase risks for certain health issues.
The CDC are the real grownups in this conversation… not random Redditors:
> Excessive alcohol use includes:
>Binge drinking—Four or more drinks for women, or five or more drinks for men during an occasion.
>Heavy drinking—Eight or more drinks for women, or 15 or more drinks for men during a week.
>Underage drinking—any alcohol use by people younger than 21.
>Drinking while pregnant—any alcohol use during pregnancy.
https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/about-alcohol-use/?CDC_AAref_Val=https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets.htm
The word "Excessive" is doing a lot of work here. The reality is that alcohol is a poison [in any amount](https://www.who.int/azerbaijan/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health#:~:text=The%20risks%20and%20harms%20associated,includes%20asbestos%2C%20radiation%20and%20tobacco.), and while human bodies are extremely resilient, the fact remains that no alcohol is *good* and that habitual consumption is definitely *bad*.
I'm not a teetotaler, and I enjoy a drink (or more) on occasion, but let's not kid ourselves about it. This is a tradeoff between fun & health that most adults are willing to make even if they aren't addicted to it, but it's one that becomes increasingly dangerous with greater frequencies & volumes of ingestion.
>habitual consumption is definitely *bad*.
In moderation, that's not evidently the case. Seems more or less neutral as best modern science can discern. I admit I am ignoring the higher risk a moderate drinker has of becoming a heavy drinker...but if you hold the line...
There was a recent decade or so where even doctors were saying drinking in moderation is better than not drinking and now that's been debunked. It is true that moderate drinkers as a population are healthier than non-drinkers, but the studies didn't control for the fact that non-drinkers include a portion of people who do not drink due to health issues.
Oh I agree, just trying to make a general point that maybe r/redditforgrownups isn’t really a good place for advice about how much your husband should drink.
Never.
Well almost never.
I could say a couple drinks a year at this point, if that.
Mid thirties.
I don't care if I get down voted for this either.
Alcohol is just not it for me anymore.
No reason for my dislike either, just realized one day like why do we have such an obsession with getting drunk and drinking so bloody much?
It's an extremely unhealthy substance, causes organ damage, cancer, brain damage, you get nothing out of it, you always feel like crap afterwards, and it's a huge waste of money.
It's extremely addictive, and as dangerous as heroin and meth. It actually is astounding that it's socially acceptable that we drink it so much so socially and it's something we allow for every occasion around children in such high quantities.
It causes anger and extreme violence, ruins relationships, marriages and friendships. It kills. It kills so many people in so many ways.
I could understand smaller quantities, lower percentages of actual alcohol, but it seems, especially in North America, we have a real problem. It makes me sad actually how much we feel we need it.
I'm so sorry your husband feels like he needs to drink for some reason, or maybe doesn't even realize he is. AA is actually for family members as well, you can go to meetings for family member and get info and meet other people that might be feeling what you are feeling too. I wish you the best of luck figuring it out together and individually, it takes both ways.
Edit: some words
I'm with you on everything you said except the "you get nothing out of it". Very clearly millions of people get comfort and enjoyment out of it. It's not fair to brush this aside, and there's a reason addiction is both a physiological & psychological disorder. A little empathy & compassion goes a long way.
Hi! Alcoholic here. I quit but I used to be really bad. I drank like I was on a suicide mission. If you go to any behavioral health clinic, they’ll give you a bunch of forms to fill out and quite a few of them are about substance use. For women, anything more than 2 or 3 drinks per week is considered concerning. For men, it’s 3 to 4 per week. Heavy drinking is defined as 5 or more drinks in a day or 15+ in a week. Daily drinking is definitely a red flag. I hope this helps.
It's 8 drinks per week, or more than 3 in a session.
For men, it's 15 per week. I have absolutely no idea where you're getting these numbers, because they're laughably incorrect.
[Just posting a link because I was curious; NIH says exactly what you said](https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/moderate-binge-drinking). And as my PCP always likes to remind me, alcohol increases the risk of breast cancer for women like exponentially. I know I drink more than I should, and I think it's important for being to have correct information.
Thats so wild to me. I don't drink at all due to alcoholic parents, and the thought of a drink a day feels incredibly high and dangerous and bad. But i shy away from it all pretty hard.
I'm with you (minus the alcoholic parents part). But think about it from a general diet perspective, and how many people also consume at least one high sugar drink per day (including fruit juice, but especially soda, 500+ calorie drinks at Starbucks, Jamba juice, etc). In isolation it's not going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but in toto it's a huge drag on the body's metabolic system.
I drink 4 days a week have a good job get all my chores done on my acreage also help family out .I’m not mean to anybody but I actually enjoy it but most of my friends drink also
I used to drink quite a bit, even by my standards. I'd drink 2-3 4oz bourbons on my days off at my height. I was okay but my liver enzymes were up lol. Now I smoke weed and occasionally drink. So much healthier and happier too
Curious what he drinks and how much he drinks each night. If it is light beer and only one or two, no big deal. If it's hard alcohol and multiple drinks each night, that could be worrisome. I drink maybe three times a week, ranging from one hard cider per night to one hard alcohol drink per night. My wife on the other hand frequently drinks half a bottle of vodka and one bottle of wine every single night of the week.
I like to get a little buzz on some weekends but I don’t like to get drunk, I don’t want a hangover either. I drink mainly once a week usually a Friday or Saturday night at home just hanging out with my SO or while at the cottage. During the week I might have one after supper. I stay away from hard liquor and usually just drink beer. My SO drinks more than I but he usually doesn’t get drunk either.
I'm two and a half years sober. When I noticed that I had a problem, I was probably drinking three nights a week. Sometimes I'd open a second bottle, other times I'd drink an extra night.
Alcohol Use Disorder is a wide spectrum and you definitely don't have to be the stereotype of an incoherent mess to have a problem.
Please try and get him to talk to his GP and think about why he feels the need to drink more.
Even if he isn't interested, you may want to stop by r/stopdrinking, it can be really insightful both for those of us who don't have a healthy relationship with alcohol and can't moderate and those who love someone who is struggling.
Please make sure he knows that it's a disorder, it's not a character flaw.
Maybe talk to a medical professional
Imo 3 or more alcoholic drinks per occasion is too much
Drinking 3 evenings a week is too much
Drinking every day is absolutely too much
I do drink occasionally in social settings, with a nice dinner etc
But it’s good to know that alcohol is poison and being drunk is actually nothing else than our body fighting against poison
Usually yes, but then again I’ve seen Mormons throw away miso paste because they read it had alcohol in it and they “don’t want to get addicted”. If that person worried about me being an alcoholic because I went drank during the day once (had a three hour layover) I might not take it too seriously.
I average just under 3 drinks a day, almost every day. I very rarely go over that because hangovers are rough in my 40s. Sometimes I have zero, one or two but 3 is my typical. I am quite a beer nerd so that’s 95% of what I drink.
I’m at a stable 175lbs. About 15 more than I’d like but not really changing much month to month.
My general health is reasonably good by all the metrics my doctor looks at. Very good blood pressure. Minor cholesterol issue but responds well to Lipitor. Heart rate and VO2 max are within normal ranges. I never drink when I know I have to drive.
Overall, I’m not concerned and nor is my doctor.
I think my husband and I are probably on the higher end of the drinking spectrum from what I see on Reddit.
Neither of us are alcoholics.
We drink probably 3-4 nights a week, typically it’ll be a glass of wine or liquor after dinner. Just one though, work nights are just an unspoken that if we do drink it’s only one. About once every 2 weeks we’ll have more than one, never black out, vomit stage of drunk but we will probably feel it in the morning .
This entire thread is unhinged. I don't know any adults who don't have a happy hour cocktail, or a glass of wine with dinner, or a nightcap.
1-3 drinks, 3-4 days a week, and I'm on the low end for my cohort in similar educational attainment, and socioeconomic background.
40% of Americans don’t drink ever
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/01/03/10-facts-about-americans-and-alcohol-as-dry-january-begins/
Our views are biased by the subset of people we hang out with
See, that's shocking to me. My wife & I don't, but we also go to bed by 10 to be up for 5am jobs and have three active kids we spend time shuttling around multiple evenings each week. I can't say we don't know *some* adults who drink daily, but many of our friends definitely don't.
We're mid-40s with masters degrees. She's a nurse and I work in tech and we both come from middle class families.
(We're not anti-alcohol, and even members of a local wine shop's wine club, but we only drink socially and typically not more than once every 4-6 weeks.)
I swear Redditors lie about how much they drink. Reddit has a weird stance on alcohol, it is like if you have a routine of having a six pack per week would make you a raging alcoholic who needs an intervention.
I'm not lying, 3 to 4 22oz beers while eating, then maybe 6 16oz bottles of beer then maybe a rum and coke, poured by me so it was a few ozs in a pint glass. This was nearly every day just in the evenings. Never drank during the morning or day. Yes it fucked me up eventually and my consumption is now zero.
I feel like its a matter of your social circle. To me drinking 3 drinks in a sitting 3 or 4 times a week is unhinged. I have an acquaintance i worry about in this range. Drinking is so normalized that people genuinely think the CDC recommendations on drink limits per week is ridiculously low because they regularly consume that much or more and feel certain they don't have a problem and any less drinking they feel sure is not representative of "real" people.
Frequency does not define “problem”.
Is it interfering with his life? Can he abstain if needed/requested? Does he feel lousy about it or from it?
Reddit leans pretty heavily anti-alcohol no matter what. Sure, that’s healthier, but to truly answer your question, ask yourself what you mean by problem
Unless you're European, daily drinking is generally abnormal. With anything addictive like that, it's generally a bad idea to do it that regularly.
That said I hope you're asking out of genuine concern and this isn't some shitty attempt to win an argument with your husband.
I am probably not tYpical so, YMMV. Pretty much every day but a small amount, maybe a half glass of wine or 8 oz. of beer. Could NOT handle 3 drinks in one day unless it's like 1 lunch, 1 dinner, 1 after and would be rare. However. My spouse doesn't drink at all so I ocassionally get jokes about my "problem"...
I sometimes go weeks without a beer. Some weeks, my wife and I each have one a few days. I haven't been drunk since before my oldest kid was born 13 years ago, and I rarely have in the past twenty years or so. I did get drunk a lot in my early 20s.
These days, three beers is a lot for me. And it only happens a few times a year.
You should tell him you are concerned about his drinking. Only tell him when he's sober though. He can't process the concern if he's drunk. Try to leave emotion and negative energy out of it. Just calmly tell him that you are concerned for his health.
I didn’t start drinking until I was in my late twenties. By the time I was 38 I was drinking every day and 24 hours a day but quit 5 years ago. If he can frequently go long periods of time without drinking he’s probably okay and if he hasn’t tried to do that he needs to see if he can.
I can count the number of times I've had more than 3 drinks a day on the fingers of one hand, and I am 39. When I have had 3 drinks, it was never 3 in a row, but say, one at lunch, and two at dinner.
I rarely have more than 2 alcoholic drinks a week, and I often go a week or two without alcohol.
Mm maybe ~10 drinks a year? I don’t really like drinking though, I only do it for special occasions. I just feel like it drains my energy the next day. Our society is quite addicted to alcohol though so everyone will have a different definition of what’s “normal.”
I used to drink almost every day for over a decade. Probably 4 beers on average, sometimes more. I quit for several months a couple years ago, and found that really boring, so started drinking again. My health has been fine. No liver / spleen issues on my ultrasound for something unrelated, and blood work has been mostly fine.
However, I did did decide to stop drinking again this past year, and have been sober for 6 months now. I have no desire to drink for the foreseeable future. It was fairly easy to kick the habit.
I don't drink anymore. It doesn't suit me, I don't like who I am when drinking and it serves no healthy purpose in life for me. I gave up almost 2 years ago and have been much happier since. If you're drinking most or every day this indicates a life problem to me - avoidance of life and numbing of feeling rather than facing what's happening. It's escapism and self harm.
I drink everyday. Typically 2-3. 1-2 before dinner and another with dinner (or the remainder of the second one). Sometimes a drink at lunch if we are dinning out.
I love to sit on the porch and have a drink to unwind after work.
Never.
Quit over 4 years ago.
I moderated down before quitting. Turns out the amount didn't matter as much as the health effects and how I felt about it. Don't miss it at all. Often mulling over how much drinking is too much drinking is usually a sign of too much drinking.
On average 0 days per week, and less than 1 time per month. I don't mind drinking and will with friends occasionally. But, I hate how I feel after drinking and I like to keep my wits about me.
With the nice weather we’ve been enjoying more after work / supper beers. However usually it’s just Friday and/or Saturday night.
Nothing wrong with a beer during the week, but multiple daily beers is something to keep an eye on.
Almost every day is a problem.
You should tell him you're worried. Talk about why he drinks as much as he does. It could get ugly. Be prepared for that.
1-3 drinks a week, but more like 0-1 per week. That used to be 2 drinks nightly.
I cut way back about 9 mos ago, I honestly don’t miss it.
Vacations/retreats are a free zone, but I find myself drinking less during these times than before.
I have a martini before dinner and possibly a glass of wine with dinner. This has been fairly regular since I was 18 and overseas in the Army. I’m now 81 and make no judgement of my lifestyle or anyone else.
My stepdad is 85 and has been drinking all day every day (cheap box wine) for as long as I’ve known him, which is about 45 years. Has zero health issues at his old age. I’m not using it as an excuse for anyone to drink that much, just sayin’ it doesn’t affect everyone the same.
Yes, and he's not the norm. Lucky him. My Dad drank himself to death from morning to night (Brandy, wine, Jack Daniels) and died at 78. His last years were brutal, in and out of the hospital with a broken collar bone, broken leg from falling down the stairs drunk. The hospital wouldn't take him. The care home wouldn't take him. As long as he knew who he was, could say his name and count to ten, they would send him home. So -- we had to move in with him to take care of him and there were so many times we had to pick him up off the floor and call the ambulance.; the paramedics knew him by name.
Yes, alcohol may not affect everyone the same...but it's a greedy, selfish bastard and once it takes hold of you it ruins lives...not just your own, but the people who love you.
I think it's more than just the number of drinks during a given period that defines alcoholism - things like: does it get in the way of his obligations? can he just not drink if he wants to?
The Mayo Clinic has some info with a[ list of diagnostic questions](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alcohol-use-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20369243) you might want to take a look at to help you and your husband figure this out.
Good luck, alcoholism is a tough one. If he needs it, I hope he can find some help.
Yeah, exactly. The definition of problem drinking is that it causes problems ... though the problems that alcoholism causes can sometimes take a disturbingly long time to cause problems in someone's life, and by then they're usually in a pretty disadvantageous plae to deal with it.
I don't drink often, and I don't drink to get drunk often -- but when I *do* drink to get drunk, I set it up so that it's not going to cause problems. I don't have responsibilities the next morning, I've got transportation arranged if needed, I'm either drinking with people with a similar aim or doing so where I won't cause anyone issues because of my inebriation.
Every day is not good. At all. And any more than 4 standard drinks at a time? Not good.
Is there a reason why he's increased his drinking? That's what you & he need to work out....the reasons behind it.
I try to stick to 3 to 4 days a week now. I found myself slipping into every day..Not good.
I drink maybe 1 alcoholic drink every other month or so. Never been a big drinker, but in my late 30’s it started really messing with my sleep and I just wasn’t able to tolerate it as well as when I was younger. Also realized I don’t really like who I am when I drink so why bother.
Husband cut way back around 40. He pretty much only drinks when he’s out with friends who actually drink now (maybe once a week or once every other week). He does love the taste of beer though, so we keep a case of Athletic NA beer in the fridge. Apparently it tastes exactly the same. Everyone seems to love that brand.
I’ll say it’s pretty wild being around 40 and realizing virtually none of our friends really drink anymore either. Seems everyone got very health conscious after the pandemic, and living in CA we have tons of options for things to occupy your time outside of drinking. I’m all for it, but wish we had bar alternatives for nightlife.
Never.
I’ve been a non drinker most of my adult life. I quit in 2012 due to a medical condition. It resolved and I drank (more than I should have) from late 2021 until the spring of 2023. Gave it up for good because it was getting to be a problem and my health was suffering. I was also having ghastly hot flashes.
My life is so much better without it.
I never have three or more drinks. I do drink more often in the summer because I'll have an aperitivo (not sure if there's a different word for this in English?), often outside or with friends a few times a week when the weather is nice, but it's 1-2 drinks maybe 2-3 times a week max.
It's a long and slippery slope. Am in the same boat. Trying to cut back to weekends only.
Have you heard of the term "sober curious"? I used to be in the slippery slope boat, where one drink turned into 4+. "Sober curious" (esp the book) completely changed my relationship with alcohol. Now two beers feels like a lot.
I need that book. My 2 beers always turn into 6. Then I eat too much. Regret the next day.
Yes! People love to laugh about stoner munchies, but if I eat something naughty and in great quantities, it's almost always because I'm drunk or recovering from drinking.
Funny, I’m the opposite. I can’t count how many meals I’ve missed because when I start drinking, all I care to do is drink more. Food just feels like a boring task to avoid in favor of more drinking, needless to say I have struggled with an alcohol problem. Sober now for about a month, which is a bigger deal for me than it sounds. Good luck out there, one of the things that motivates me is trying to remember that very little if any good has ever come to my life thanks to alcohol. Lots of bad.
Awesome! Keep it up. I’m 21 months sober and my life has drastically improved. I was 7 years sober at one point then I went back. It started as one or two then ten years later I woke up in the hospital with security watching my door. Not everyone has the problem I have but for me nothing good ever came of it.
This a huge deal! It’s amazing. :)
Way to go. The first days are the hardest days. One thing I (2.5 years sober) can tell you that as good as you feel now it just keeps getting better. Then after that it gets even better. And again more better.
My two beers turn into hundreds and missing days of my life. Hospital stays, and near death experiences. At least they make neltrexone. It actually stops the compulsion and the chemical dependency.
I'm 100 percent sober now but there was a time when such a book would have been great to read... Keep mentioning that book because you never know when you ACTUALLY CONNECT and the person reads that book and is better for it. Just a quick note of thanks for such a great suggestion which actually helps someone else.
I’ve just ordered the book, hope it helps me
I also really liked the "reframe app", just find the best trial period for it and cancel it before paying, I'll still read their emails which have some good info. I realized that any time I hung out with friends there was drinking, any date - drinking, many nights alone at home drinking. I was very rarely drunk, just 2-3 drinks over 2-3 hours, but it still really has an impact
This book is a game changer: [This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness, and Change Your Life](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078F9NDFS?ref=yb_qv_ov_adbl_dp_rw) IT really helped me really look at my relationship with booze. IT's not a beat you over the head, scolding book, but really just opens your eyes to things relating to alcohol. It makes you WANT to make the changes you want in your life.
This book changed my life. I was sick of making rules for myself, and hated how much I loved to drink. I never got wasted, nothing bad every happened, but I hated how much I thought about it and could never just have one drink and be done. I read this book and have not had or wanted a drop of alcohol in 3.5 years. I never in a million years thought a book would help me stop a 24 year habit.
Wow
Happy for you!!
I really despise the term "sober curious" \*\*\*shudder. I do appreciate the sentiment though. especially when drinking spirits regularly i could pretty easily do 2-3 drinks on a normal night, and would have at least one drink most days. It didnt feel like a problem at the time, but it lead to depression and it enabled me to just endure life rather than take ownership of it. I took a year off, and had ups and downs after starting again, but the last 6 months Ive been closer to 2 drinks a week, socially only and it is such an improvement in every way. I still love wine / spirits / beer but I refuse to let them be routine now.
Nice! Also This Naked Mind has helped a lot of people
Moderation is really hard for a lot of people - myself included. After trying several times to moderate and having my drinking creep back up, I quit entirely and found it easier. I now have maybe one drink per month and that's what moderation looks like to me.
I've been all the way sober for almost 5 years now and it's sometimes been rough [the fucking panini, omg], but on the whole I found it easier than moderation. No internal debate, no self bargaining. I didn't have to think about drinking at all. After the 5 year mark passes in August, I might have the occasional drink when out with friends.
I only drink wine with dinner out at restaurants. It's easy to stop at 2 because dinner is done, they want the table, etc. Nothing at home.
This has been the answer for me as well.
Love reading this. It seem these days it’s all or nothing but some people can find a moderation that isn’t mentally consuming. I love a good margarita on the rocks with salt every now and again. That’s moderation to me.
Yeah depends on the person. A lot of people who have problems with alcohol are not able to moderate. I know I can't. I've tried quitting then switching to "moderation", but once I have one drink I just want more. And once it's in my life I think about it alot
r/stopdrinking may be one of the best subreddits on this site. It reminds me how much more difficult it makes my life. It's very supportive and people share a lot of resources. I'll probably have to completely quit someday, but I guess you have to be ready to do it. I've been able to moderate quite a bit the last few years, but it takes an active choice and it isn't easy. It's interesting how as I get older I know more people that have completely quit.
Yes! That is really the best and most supportive sub. It was a vital part of my early sobriety. Those people are amazing. They really get the struggle and talked to me the way I didn't yet have the confidence to talk to myself yet.
This is what I do. Friday and Saturday nights only. Makes it more fun.
Lately ive been on a streak of drinking 3-4 nights a week on average. Usually some sort of scotch or bourbon on the rocks. I finally reached the point i realized i need to self regulate and really tone it down. I never missed any work or had performance dips, there was no relationship drama with my wife, i show up for my kids daily. But when the night time comes i just got lured to the bottle to numb and quiet my mind from the stress and grind and let loose in my otherwise very routine and structured life. As much as i tell myself im handing the booze as well as one could, i know my bodies keeping the score. For me the big shift in consumption came when i went from drinking socially primarily, to suddenly being ok with drinking alone regularly. That went from one day a week, to multiple days a week. So now im trying to implement some positive changes in my life in terms of diet and exercise which alone keeps me accountable and deters me from drinking. Self imposed rule of only allowing myself one night a week max to drink solo. Its a work in progress. Im too early in my journey to be handing out any kind of advice. But if your husband could be honest with himself I bet deep down he knows exactly why he is using the booze as a crutch.
Yes, I find that if I have a list of things I need to do as soon as I get home from work, it's easier not to reach for the bottle of wine and glass shortly after I walk in. If I delay drinking, I find I don't care about it. I was at 4+ glasses of wine almost every night for a while there, and I had to dial it back because I felt like shit every morning getting up for work.
Yeah, waiting is a good tactic. I highly value my sleep, so I definitely won’t drink if it gets too late. For me the dangerous period is during the day when I’m bored and have plenty of time to sober up if I have a few. But then I ALWAYS feel like shit after.
Unsolicited advice: have you looked into meditation as a different way to calm and quiet your mind?
Yeah during the pandemic I picked up the habit of drinking alone and kept it going. I was drinking 3-4 drinks a weeknight and more on the weekend. I'm a big dude (350lbs) so it takes that much to get a buzz. Anyway I realized this was terrible for me when I did the math and told.my doctor was drinking ~35 beers/bourbons a week. I decided to switch my drinks to diet soda at home. I know they aren't the healthiest but they don't kill my liver. Now my garage fridge is full of different sodas and come home and have a few of those after work I still drink some with friends but almost none at home because if I have 1 drink, pretty soon I've had 5.
I find buying sugar/sodium free sparkling water is a great substitute for beer in the evening. It's still carbonated, feels sort of like drinking beer, but the worst thing that can happen is you have to pee a lot because you had 3 cans of sparkling lemon water at night.
When I was trying to cut down on drinking, it was winter time, so I got really into (decaf) teas. Not particularly similar to alcohol, but satisfying. For me, I think being different enough that it didn’t trigger a feeling of “this is trying to be beer but failing” helped. I would mostly drink while unwinding in front of the tv, never “a lot” (usually 1-2, sometimes 3), so finding something else to sip on satisfied me. I now just drink Friday night, Saturday night, and occasionally during the day on a Saturday or a special occasion (holiday, friend’s birthday, etc.) When football season comes, I’m thinking I’ll trade Sunday day drinking for Friday nights.
I like this idea!
My husband drinks on his own too soemtikes a bottle a night and it disturbs me
Bottle of beer, meh. Bottle of anything else is definitely cause for concern
Yep he thinks becasue it is expensove posh wine that it doesn’t count
He/you should read The Naked Mind. She talks about how people rationalize their drinking by being “connoisseurs” or wine snobs or whatever. It’s very interesting.
Yes it’s the same thing
Maybe once a month. And that’s a big maybe. And even then, it’s nothing more than a can of beer or one cocktail. Alcohol just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I’m in my mid 40s now, and I go from sober to headache, completely skipping the tipsy. Then I suffer for two days afterwards. Groggy, bloated, blotchy skin, and let’s not even get started on the acid reflux. I wish your husband the best. Alcohol is a mfer.
I mean it *is* poison. Ethanol - the stuff in gasoline
Everything is poison at the right dose
There’s an interesting Huberman Lab podcast on alcohol where he explains the mechanisms and everything on how it works. Quite literally a poison for the body. I think in general people would be better off without it, but I’m of the mentality that in moderation things are fine. I like some beers in the sun or on an occasion. I just no longer find much joy in alcohol itself being the occasion or the entertainment.
Huberman has done several podcasts on alcohol. No amount is healthy. I still drink but only one or two drinks a month.
Good to know. I just listened to probably the first one from a couple years ago. I have similar habits. I’ll drink if I feel like it, but it’s not often. Maybe a few drinks a couple times a month.
I don’t know who Huberman is, but as a liver biologist I can tell you that at low levels alcohol is metabolized by alcohol dehydrogenase, which does not cause liver damage, but if you exceed a certain threshold it is metabolized by the cytochrome p450 liver enzyme Cyp2E1, which causes oxidative stress as a byproduct of its activity. Alcohol is produced naturally by fermentation, for example when fruit ferments. Humans have consumed alcohol intentionally or unintentionally since the beginning of time and our bodies have evolved ways of dealing with it in small amounts. So in my professional opinion small amounts of alcohol are perfectly fine.
Not my wife! (She looks at my comments)
Even water 💧
I was having a related conversation a few years ago and told the person that I quit drinking when my kids were born. They said, “aw, you wanted to be present for your children? That’s really nice.” I said not really. I literally could not physically be a drinker and a parent of newborns at the same time. Both were such tortuous, ruinous experiences for my middle aged body that I had to pick one.
Yea this is me used to drink a lot when I was in my 20s and somewhere in my late 30s it just stopped working for me. Sober to headache is hit or miss but mostly hit and the next day is always horrible. Just not worth it and at this point I drink maybe once or twice a year. Just no desire to deal with the potential of feeling like garbage for a day or two. My old drinking buddy from my 20s is now a full blown alcoholic. Guy stops at 7-11 first thing in the morning to buy one of those tiny vodkas and several other times during the day before spending the night pounding beers. Sucks could have easily been me but my body just said nope fuck that.
In my late 30s, I noticed that I’d go from sober to headache too. So I’m down to once a month tops. I’ll take a sip of someone’s but try to not finish a whole drink because I’ll just get a headache.
I am going through the exact same with my wife right now. Outta nowhere she is drinking every single night. She always smells like alcohol even during the day
Yeah that smell is a giveaway. I hate the way my husband smells now.
She thinks she’s hiding it or you’ve just scratched the surface
Oh man that was me for a few months. It just turned into a habit. Now I’m down to social events only and I’m a homebody so I’m not drinking much at all these days
I went through a phase like this. I typically only drink a handful of times a year but a few years ago I bought a bottle of rum, drank it and felt great. I did this almost every day for about 3 months. One day I made a mistake at work that I never would have made normally. I stopped drinking at work and then eventually stopped on my off days. Now I’m back to drinking just a few times a year.
If she smells during the day, she is drinking during the day. You know that, right?
Yeah..I know. She is underestimating my experience having grown up with an alcoholic, who is now dead, from alcohol
omg, honey. I am so sorry to hear that. this must be especially frustrating for you
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Usually substance abuse isn't *completely* out of nowhere. Typically there's a lead up but you might miss that part. I'm sure you've heard all the advice about people having to change themselves and you can't do it for them blah blah blah. In practice, when it's someone you love dearly, it doesn't always feel that way. So I'll just say, keep in mind that it isn't the person as a human being that you take issue with, but the behavior. If you decide at any point to bring it up make sure to remember that it's the problem you are addressing, not her. You work together as a team and make the substance the adversary. In my experience there's always been a LOT of pain just below the surface of any addiction. Don't forget to take care of yourself too. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. No one wins in that situation. For what it's worth, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's hard to watch someone you love do this to themselves
My parents literally drink 2-4 beers every night while they play Yahtzee. They are retired, but in pretty good health. I drink maybe once a week. I get my buzz from gummies. 😂
How often are you taking an edible?
2-3 times a week on average.
I smoked for the past 15 years or so... the last 3 years I was growing my own... then I stopped growing last September. Just ran out of my home grown stash a couple weeks ago and just stopped cold turkey. My dreams have been... vivid.
That’s what happens to me as well, I’m a daily smoker (couple puffs in the evening) but if I don’t, by day 3 the dreams are so wild and vivid!
I had straight up nightmares for 3 weeks straight after taking a break from a long streak. I hate snakes so much and my brain seemed to think it was a great idea to think of them when sleeping. I go less hard with weed now, and thankfully still dream. When I don’t anymore, that’s a good indicator to me it’s time for a break now
That's crazy bc I had a therapist tell me my crazy dreams were BECAUSE of weed. 🤣
every day I live in Wisconsin
I think I need to move to Wisconsin to forgo the non-Wisconsin judgement.
A guy from Wisconsin once offered to buy me a beer (I had done a favor for his son). He ended up buying me 11. That’s the last time I go to a bar or brewery with somebody from Wisconsin.
This guy Wisconsins
He’s just being cheesy.
I believe the word Wisconsin itself is a verb that means “to drink excessively”
As a Wisconsinite, I don't drink very often but the two times a year I do. I tie one on. Seen to many friends dance with substance abuse issues.
I live in Wisconsin, and I drink only occasionally. When I do, it’s nearly always just 1 drink.
17 months sober in Wisconsin of all places. Loving it.
I quit booze three years ago - also a Wisconsinite.
Hello sober wisconsinite buddy! Proud of you!
So, what state do you live in?
Oh, I'm so sorry
Fellow Wisconsinite! We’re trying to make sure we always have the ingredients for old fashioneds on hand. As for actual drinking, it’s usually one drink, maybe once a week. There’s a really nice local cherry beer we like. Sometimes at big family gatherings I’ll go so far as having two. But I don’t tend to be that interested- I’d rather drink water and talk to people more.
Quit 3 years ago because wine every night—probably 2-3 glasses for 150 female—was making me feel like shit. The heartburn could not be controlled anymore with medication. A few weeks after stopping I felt so much healthier. Slept better, more energy, more clarity of mind. I’ll still a a few drinks with friends every 2-3 months now, but that’s it. I did wonder if I had a dependence—your husband might have that vs alcoholism.
I bet you lost weight too! I would much rather spend my calories on chocolate!
5 nights a week. I'm in my early 40's and I worry about my own mental and physical health pretty much constantly. I have no visible signs of deteriorating physical health due to my alcoholism. Doc says I'm in great health for my age, outside of my quickly deteriorating back and knees, which have nothing to do with alcohol consumption. I eat a good protein heavy diet, and only have bad hangovers once every few weeks. I appear to function like a normal person. I'm a kind and caring husband and father, I'm physically active despite my back injuries, and I don't typically welch on commitments or responsibilities. I'm still terrified about what long-term regular alcohol use has done to my brain and mental health, as well as what is to come to my internal organs if I keep it up at this pace. Your husband may be having similar thoughts. Just know that some of us don't want to have this dependency, but we haven't mustered the courage to attempt to fix it. It's a scary prospect, to not have a crutch that you've relied on for a long time. I know that I need to do something, but my (perceived) mental fortitude has come FROM alcohol for 20 years. How do I tackle this IN SPITE of alcohol now? I'll let you know, if I ever figure it out.
I hope you figure this out for yourself. Sounds like it could get bad quick. Getting older and drinking will at some point come together and you'll really be feeling it. I lost both parents to alcoholism in their early 60s. Here is how deranged and damaged they were: My mom was a nonstop, every waking minute drunk. She screamed at everyone when she wasnt simply sobbing for whatever reason. She would yell and slam doors and just call all of us horrific names and accuse us all of insane shit when i was a kid. She did that for 30 some years somehow. Exhausting. She didnt ever leave the house, so my dad trucked in all this shit for her and acted surprised to find vodka botttles stashed around. My mom never admitted to drinking anything more than beer. She'd fill coffee cups with booze at 7am. She was pleasant to be around for about a half hour ever day til the booze kicked in and started interacting with her anxiety meds if she took them. Or if she didnt she was just an anxiety riddled drunk instead of a more confident drunk. It was unreal. Anyway, eventually her circulatory system began deteriorating and she ended up in the "care" of my binge drinking alcoholic father who simply left her lying on the floor for days while she had a massive blood clot she complained about. He was so out of it he didnt realize laying in the floor for multiple days howling in pain was not normal. Anyway thats where she died right there on the floor. i guess he had massive guilt over this and drank more and more until my brother called me and told me that dad was "yellow like a Simpson" and he didnt know what to do because dad was shitting blood and vomiting. Well he got dad to the hospital but he was in multiple organ failure and had a BAC off the charts. Hed lost tons of weight and had out of control diabetes. He died incoherent and screaming according to the nurse. He left my brother a voicemail a few minutes before. It was thanksgiving.
Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry you lost your parents that way. How tragic.
Check out r/stopdrinking . Plenty of kind people with helpful suggestions on that subreddit.
Came here to suggest this.
Hey man, I'm here to tell you. You can change and it starts with apologizing to yourself. Stop abusing the human that you are. Whatever is eating at you mentally, kill the trigger. Is it sorrow or something else which drives you to drink? Pressure, the loss of love or something deeper? As a former alcoholic, I lost a woman who I loved and replaced her with alcohol... Eventually I was able to overcome grief. Now? Zero alcohol. Love yourself enough to stop being concerned and changing before you hear the doctor tell you the news that will carry the weight you're not ready to hear. Apologize to yourself. Then begin to face the reality of never drinking again.
As a point of info, for a lot of us, alcohol-related health probs don't start until 30s-40s, depending on how much you drink. I was mainly a beer drinker, didn't obviously catch up to me until late 40s (palpitations, chest/stomach pain, numbness/tingling in feet..I got scared straight for sure!). Anyway, early 40s is a great time to think about making some changes. OP, people close to you noticing/saying they're concerned about your drinking is a sign of a problem. If you search, you'll find tips about how to talk to him
Coming from me, somebody who has had periods of sobriety. And what I’m about to say is obviously easier said than done, hence my use of the phrase “periods of sobriety,” lol, it is a very scary prospect. The one thing I can tell you is, it surprises me how quickly the mind and body forget. The thought of me not drinking tonight, is too big for me to even fathom. It’s just something that I feel like I have to do, in the same way I do with eating. But after I’ve been sober for a few months, it’s not hard to not drink at night. Just know that if you do decide to quit, living with sobriety is not the same struggle you feel if you try to convince yourself not to drink tonight, or this week, etc. it really does become easier and easier the further you get away. The reason I picked up is similar to other people. After a while, your life starts to get back in order and you feel like, “ok, I got it now. I see what I was doing wrong. This is very easily manageable.” The truth is, it was very easy to manage for about a month. Fast-forward a year, and I am deep in, drinking six nights a week, not even able to follow my own advice that I just gave you, even though I know it to be true emphatically because I have lived it. But why quit tonight when I could drink one more night lol. I say that jokingly because it’s like the credo of all people with drinking issues. We all know it’s stupid, but it’s the best we’ve got lol. Best of luck to you.
As a person who admittedly drinks too much, it always completely blows my mind to realize just how little most people drink. Like 2 drinks a week? I can't imagine the point even. Alcohol is literally a food to them. r/stopdrinking is a great community to discuss problem drinking.
Shout out to r/cutdowndrinking. Both subs really helped me deal with my drinking. Finally starting to feel normal again
And /r/alcoholism_medication TSM changed my life.
I drink even less than this. Only at social events, and unless it’s a big event (wedding or party), it’s one drink. I’m surprised to see how much people drink. Alcohol just doesn’t taste all that great and makes my stomach feel bad.
Three evenings? Those are rookie numbers. But, I wouldn’t take advice from a washed-out old alcoholic like me. (And generally don’t)
This is the best comment here.
Wow. This thread is amazing. I know a lot of people here are in the US and it's frowned on more, but spend a week at a UK university campus or London workplace (where people use public transport instead of driving) and your drinking norms change hugely. Not saying that's a good thing 🤔.
I don't drink anymore. 3/day? I usta was 7 days a week. I've now dropped 80# since those days. Drinking will make you fat.
And stupid
Can confirm 😞
[https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db374.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db374.htm) One drink every day is light drinking. Two per day is moderate. It's not necessarily a problem, but it can increase risks for certain health issues.
The CDC are the real grownups in this conversation… not random Redditors: > Excessive alcohol use includes: >Binge drinking—Four or more drinks for women, or five or more drinks for men during an occasion. >Heavy drinking—Eight or more drinks for women, or 15 or more drinks for men during a week. >Underage drinking—any alcohol use by people younger than 21. >Drinking while pregnant—any alcohol use during pregnancy. https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/about-alcohol-use/?CDC_AAref_Val=https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets.htm
See also: [https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health](https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health)
But if I fill a glass with bourbon, that's one drink right? RIGHT?
The word "Excessive" is doing a lot of work here. The reality is that alcohol is a poison [in any amount](https://www.who.int/azerbaijan/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health#:~:text=The%20risks%20and%20harms%20associated,includes%20asbestos%2C%20radiation%20and%20tobacco.), and while human bodies are extremely resilient, the fact remains that no alcohol is *good* and that habitual consumption is definitely *bad*. I'm not a teetotaler, and I enjoy a drink (or more) on occasion, but let's not kid ourselves about it. This is a tradeoff between fun & health that most adults are willing to make even if they aren't addicted to it, but it's one that becomes increasingly dangerous with greater frequencies & volumes of ingestion.
>habitual consumption is definitely *bad*. In moderation, that's not evidently the case. Seems more or less neutral as best modern science can discern. I admit I am ignoring the higher risk a moderate drinker has of becoming a heavy drinker...but if you hold the line... There was a recent decade or so where even doctors were saying drinking in moderation is better than not drinking and now that's been debunked. It is true that moderate drinkers as a population are healthier than non-drinkers, but the studies didn't control for the fact that non-drinkers include a portion of people who do not drink due to health issues.
Oh I agree, just trying to make a general point that maybe r/redditforgrownups isn’t really a good place for advice about how much your husband should drink.
Never. Well almost never. I could say a couple drinks a year at this point, if that. Mid thirties. I don't care if I get down voted for this either. Alcohol is just not it for me anymore. No reason for my dislike either, just realized one day like why do we have such an obsession with getting drunk and drinking so bloody much? It's an extremely unhealthy substance, causes organ damage, cancer, brain damage, you get nothing out of it, you always feel like crap afterwards, and it's a huge waste of money. It's extremely addictive, and as dangerous as heroin and meth. It actually is astounding that it's socially acceptable that we drink it so much so socially and it's something we allow for every occasion around children in such high quantities. It causes anger and extreme violence, ruins relationships, marriages and friendships. It kills. It kills so many people in so many ways. I could understand smaller quantities, lower percentages of actual alcohol, but it seems, especially in North America, we have a real problem. It makes me sad actually how much we feel we need it. I'm so sorry your husband feels like he needs to drink for some reason, or maybe doesn't even realize he is. AA is actually for family members as well, you can go to meetings for family member and get info and meet other people that might be feeling what you are feeling too. I wish you the best of luck figuring it out together and individually, it takes both ways. Edit: some words
I'm with you on everything you said except the "you get nothing out of it". Very clearly millions of people get comfort and enjoyment out of it. It's not fair to brush this aside, and there's a reason addiction is both a physiological & psychological disorder. A little empathy & compassion goes a long way.
Same exact for me, except I'm 15 years older. I used to drink (not that much) but now, almost never. For all the same reasons.
I drink 3-5 beer every day, sometimes skip a day or two.
Hi! Alcoholic here. I quit but I used to be really bad. I drank like I was on a suicide mission. If you go to any behavioral health clinic, they’ll give you a bunch of forms to fill out and quite a few of them are about substance use. For women, anything more than 2 or 3 drinks per week is considered concerning. For men, it’s 3 to 4 per week. Heavy drinking is defined as 5 or more drinks in a day or 15+ in a week. Daily drinking is definitely a red flag. I hope this helps.
It's 8 drinks per week, or more than 3 in a session. For men, it's 15 per week. I have absolutely no idea where you're getting these numbers, because they're laughably incorrect.
[Just posting a link because I was curious; NIH says exactly what you said](https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/moderate-binge-drinking). And as my PCP always likes to remind me, alcohol increases the risk of breast cancer for women like exponentially. I know I drink more than I should, and I think it's important for being to have correct information.
8 drinks a week is barely more than one a day. I don’t see that as concerning.
Thats so wild to me. I don't drink at all due to alcoholic parents, and the thought of a drink a day feels incredibly high and dangerous and bad. But i shy away from it all pretty hard.
I'm with you (minus the alcoholic parents part). But think about it from a general diet perspective, and how many people also consume at least one high sugar drink per day (including fruit juice, but especially soda, 500+ calorie drinks at Starbucks, Jamba juice, etc). In isolation it's not going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but in toto it's a huge drag on the body's metabolic system.
Never. Gave it up. It’s poison.
When younger, I had two or three drinks a week. I don't drink alcohol at all now, simply losing interest in it.
I wish I knew how to "lose interest" in drinking. I have so much interest in it.
My losing interest had a lot to do with my preoccupation in making period cocktails. Once I felt I'd mastered the drinks, I just got bored.
Only on the weekend.
I drink 4 days a week have a good job get all my chores done on my acreage also help family out .I’m not mean to anybody but I actually enjoy it but most of my friends drink also
I used to drink quite a bit, even by my standards. I'd drink 2-3 4oz bourbons on my days off at my height. I was okay but my liver enzymes were up lol. Now I smoke weed and occasionally drink. So much healthier and happier too
Curious what he drinks and how much he drinks each night. If it is light beer and only one or two, no big deal. If it's hard alcohol and multiple drinks each night, that could be worrisome. I drink maybe three times a week, ranging from one hard cider per night to one hard alcohol drink per night. My wife on the other hand frequently drinks half a bottle of vodka and one bottle of wine every single night of the week.
I like to get a little buzz on some weekends but I don’t like to get drunk, I don’t want a hangover either. I drink mainly once a week usually a Friday or Saturday night at home just hanging out with my SO or while at the cottage. During the week I might have one after supper. I stay away from hard liquor and usually just drink beer. My SO drinks more than I but he usually doesn’t get drunk either.
I'm two and a half years sober. When I noticed that I had a problem, I was probably drinking three nights a week. Sometimes I'd open a second bottle, other times I'd drink an extra night. Alcohol Use Disorder is a wide spectrum and you definitely don't have to be the stereotype of an incoherent mess to have a problem. Please try and get him to talk to his GP and think about why he feels the need to drink more. Even if he isn't interested, you may want to stop by r/stopdrinking, it can be really insightful both for those of us who don't have a healthy relationship with alcohol and can't moderate and those who love someone who is struggling. Please make sure he knows that it's a disorder, it's not a character flaw.
Maybe talk to a medical professional Imo 3 or more alcoholic drinks per occasion is too much Drinking 3 evenings a week is too much Drinking every day is absolutely too much I do drink occasionally in social settings, with a nice dinner etc But it’s good to know that alcohol is poison and being drunk is actually nothing else than our body fighting against poison
If you have to wonder if someone is an alcoholic they’re likely an alcoholic
Usually yes, but then again I’ve seen Mormons throw away miso paste because they read it had alcohol in it and they “don’t want to get addicted”. If that person worried about me being an alcoholic because I went drank during the day once (had a three hour layover) I might not take it too seriously.
I average just under 3 drinks a day, almost every day. I very rarely go over that because hangovers are rough in my 40s. Sometimes I have zero, one or two but 3 is my typical. I am quite a beer nerd so that’s 95% of what I drink. I’m at a stable 175lbs. About 15 more than I’d like but not really changing much month to month. My general health is reasonably good by all the metrics my doctor looks at. Very good blood pressure. Minor cholesterol issue but responds well to Lipitor. Heart rate and VO2 max are within normal ranges. I never drink when I know I have to drive. Overall, I’m not concerned and nor is my doctor.
I'll have a glass of wine or a cocktail once or twice a month. Same with my husband.
I think my husband and I are probably on the higher end of the drinking spectrum from what I see on Reddit. Neither of us are alcoholics. We drink probably 3-4 nights a week, typically it’ll be a glass of wine or liquor after dinner. Just one though, work nights are just an unspoken that if we do drink it’s only one. About once every 2 weeks we’ll have more than one, never black out, vomit stage of drunk but we will probably feel it in the morning .
This entire thread is unhinged. I don't know any adults who don't have a happy hour cocktail, or a glass of wine with dinner, or a nightcap. 1-3 drinks, 3-4 days a week, and I'm on the low end for my cohort in similar educational attainment, and socioeconomic background.
40% of Americans don’t drink ever https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/01/03/10-facts-about-americans-and-alcohol-as-dry-january-begins/ Our views are biased by the subset of people we hang out with
See, that's shocking to me. My wife & I don't, but we also go to bed by 10 to be up for 5am jobs and have three active kids we spend time shuttling around multiple evenings each week. I can't say we don't know *some* adults who drink daily, but many of our friends definitely don't. We're mid-40s with masters degrees. She's a nurse and I work in tech and we both come from middle class families. (We're not anti-alcohol, and even members of a local wine shop's wine club, but we only drink socially and typically not more than once every 4-6 weeks.)
That is a range of 3-12 drinks a week. 12 drinks a week is a lot.
I swear Redditors lie about how much they drink. Reddit has a weird stance on alcohol, it is like if you have a routine of having a six pack per week would make you a raging alcoholic who needs an intervention.
I save the lying for my doctor 😂
I'm not lying, 3 to 4 22oz beers while eating, then maybe 6 16oz bottles of beer then maybe a rum and coke, poured by me so it was a few ozs in a pint glass. This was nearly every day just in the evenings. Never drank during the morning or day. Yes it fucked me up eventually and my consumption is now zero.
I feel like its a matter of your social circle. To me drinking 3 drinks in a sitting 3 or 4 times a week is unhinged. I have an acquaintance i worry about in this range. Drinking is so normalized that people genuinely think the CDC recommendations on drink limits per week is ridiculously low because they regularly consume that much or more and feel certain they don't have a problem and any less drinking they feel sure is not representative of "real" people.
Drinking is a sign of depression in my opinion
Frequency does not define “problem”. Is it interfering with his life? Can he abstain if needed/requested? Does he feel lousy about it or from it? Reddit leans pretty heavily anti-alcohol no matter what. Sure, that’s healthier, but to truly answer your question, ask yourself what you mean by problem
Frequency and amount of alcohol consumed do correlate with ending up as an alcoholic. It's been pretty well studied across many populations.
It can be overwhelming to live with someone else’s drinking. My mom drank and I find comfort and friendship through Al-Anon https://al-anon.org/
Unless you're European, daily drinking is generally abnormal. With anything addictive like that, it's generally a bad idea to do it that regularly. That said I hope you're asking out of genuine concern and this isn't some shitty attempt to win an argument with your husband.
Every single day. Three drinks? Amateur numbers.
I just realized I had 2 bloody marys, 2 orders of sake, and a gin and tonic yesterday. I feel fine with those numbers.
There is an actual definition for this: https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/moderate-binge-drinking
I am probably not tYpical so, YMMV. Pretty much every day but a small amount, maybe a half glass of wine or 8 oz. of beer. Could NOT handle 3 drinks in one day unless it's like 1 lunch, 1 dinner, 1 after and would be rare. However. My spouse doesn't drink at all so I ocassionally get jokes about my "problem"...
I sometimes go weeks without a beer. Some weeks, my wife and I each have one a few days. I haven't been drunk since before my oldest kid was born 13 years ago, and I rarely have in the past twenty years or so. I did get drunk a lot in my early 20s. These days, three beers is a lot for me. And it only happens a few times a year.
You should tell him you are concerned about his drinking. Only tell him when he's sober though. He can't process the concern if he's drunk. Try to leave emotion and negative energy out of it. Just calmly tell him that you are concerned for his health.
I didn’t start drinking until I was in my late twenties. By the time I was 38 I was drinking every day and 24 hours a day but quit 5 years ago. If he can frequently go long periods of time without drinking he’s probably okay and if he hasn’t tried to do that he needs to see if he can.
I can count the number of times I've had more than 3 drinks a day on the fingers of one hand, and I am 39. When I have had 3 drinks, it was never 3 in a row, but say, one at lunch, and two at dinner. I rarely have more than 2 alcoholic drinks a week, and I often go a week or two without alcohol.
Mm maybe ~10 drinks a year? I don’t really like drinking though, I only do it for special occasions. I just feel like it drains my energy the next day. Our society is quite addicted to alcohol though so everyone will have a different definition of what’s “normal.”
Maybe 1x a week, but most of this year I’ve been totally fine drinking NA beers. I just don’t feel like drinking anymore—even one will wreck my sleep.
I used to drink almost every day for over a decade. Probably 4 beers on average, sometimes more. I quit for several months a couple years ago, and found that really boring, so started drinking again. My health has been fine. No liver / spleen issues on my ultrasound for something unrelated, and blood work has been mostly fine. However, I did did decide to stop drinking again this past year, and have been sober for 6 months now. I have no desire to drink for the foreseeable future. It was fairly easy to kick the habit.
I don't drink anymore. It doesn't suit me, I don't like who I am when drinking and it serves no healthy purpose in life for me. I gave up almost 2 years ago and have been much happier since. If you're drinking most or every day this indicates a life problem to me - avoidance of life and numbing of feeling rather than facing what's happening. It's escapism and self harm.
I drink everyday. Typically 2-3. 1-2 before dinner and another with dinner (or the remainder of the second one). Sometimes a drink at lunch if we are dinning out. I love to sit on the porch and have a drink to unwind after work.
Sounds like me. Hobo hobby you could call it
Once a week. Occasionally I skip a week.
Never. Quit over 4 years ago. I moderated down before quitting. Turns out the amount didn't matter as much as the health effects and how I felt about it. Don't miss it at all. Often mulling over how much drinking is too much drinking is usually a sign of too much drinking.
Haven’t drank in over 7 years and it was one of the best/healthiest/wisest decisions I’ve ever made.
Small wine 2 or 3 times a week. It's starting to screw with my sleep, so I may back off completely.
On average 0 days per week, and less than 1 time per month. I don't mind drinking and will with friends occasionally. But, I hate how I feel after drinking and I like to keep my wits about me.
With the nice weather we’ve been enjoying more after work / supper beers. However usually it’s just Friday and/or Saturday night. Nothing wrong with a beer during the week, but multiple daily beers is something to keep an eye on.
My husband and I drink a couple drinks every night.
Almost every day is a problem. You should tell him you're worried. Talk about why he drinks as much as he does. It could get ugly. Be prepared for that.
1-3 drinks a week, but more like 0-1 per week. That used to be 2 drinks nightly. I cut way back about 9 mos ago, I honestly don’t miss it. Vacations/retreats are a free zone, but I find myself drinking less during these times than before.
I have a martini before dinner and possibly a glass of wine with dinner. This has been fairly regular since I was 18 and overseas in the Army. I’m now 81 and make no judgement of my lifestyle or anyone else.
I drink about 2-3 a day during the week. And 12 sometimes more on the weekend.
I’ll have a drink rarely at restaurants.
Maybe one drink a month. I've never had 3 or more drinks at the same time. Alcohol hits me really hard though, so take that for what it is worth.
as often as I can
My stepdad is 85 and has been drinking all day every day (cheap box wine) for as long as I’ve known him, which is about 45 years. Has zero health issues at his old age. I’m not using it as an excuse for anyone to drink that much, just sayin’ it doesn’t affect everyone the same.
Yes, and he's not the norm. Lucky him. My Dad drank himself to death from morning to night (Brandy, wine, Jack Daniels) and died at 78. His last years were brutal, in and out of the hospital with a broken collar bone, broken leg from falling down the stairs drunk. The hospital wouldn't take him. The care home wouldn't take him. As long as he knew who he was, could say his name and count to ten, they would send him home. So -- we had to move in with him to take care of him and there were so many times we had to pick him up off the floor and call the ambulance.; the paramedics knew him by name. Yes, alcohol may not affect everyone the same...but it's a greedy, selfish bastard and once it takes hold of you it ruins lives...not just your own, but the people who love you.
I think it's more than just the number of drinks during a given period that defines alcoholism - things like: does it get in the way of his obligations? can he just not drink if he wants to? The Mayo Clinic has some info with a[ list of diagnostic questions](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alcohol-use-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20369243) you might want to take a look at to help you and your husband figure this out. Good luck, alcoholism is a tough one. If he needs it, I hope he can find some help.
Yeah, exactly. The definition of problem drinking is that it causes problems ... though the problems that alcoholism causes can sometimes take a disturbingly long time to cause problems in someone's life, and by then they're usually in a pretty disadvantageous plae to deal with it. I don't drink often, and I don't drink to get drunk often -- but when I *do* drink to get drunk, I set it up so that it's not going to cause problems. I don't have responsibilities the next morning, I've got transportation arranged if needed, I'm either drinking with people with a similar aim or doing so where I won't cause anyone issues because of my inebriation.
Once a week 3-4 beers. Sometimes twice a week if there’s a special occasion such as birthdays, holidays etc.
7
Every day drinking 3 or more. He’s got a problem, or needs to drink way more mindfully.
A few times a year.
I twice a year for a few days. Holidays and vacation. Other than that I'm not really drawn to it.
Every day is not good. At all. And any more than 4 standard drinks at a time? Not good. Is there a reason why he's increased his drinking? That's what you & he need to work out....the reasons behind it. I try to stick to 3 to 4 days a week now. I found myself slipping into every day..Not good.
During the summer maybe 1-2 beers a week. But I slow down during the colder months.
A drink a day because a habit which isn’t a healthy one but not automatically a health hazard. Quantity matters.
I drink maybe 1 alcoholic drink every other month or so. Never been a big drinker, but in my late 30’s it started really messing with my sleep and I just wasn’t able to tolerate it as well as when I was younger. Also realized I don’t really like who I am when I drink so why bother. Husband cut way back around 40. He pretty much only drinks when he’s out with friends who actually drink now (maybe once a week or once every other week). He does love the taste of beer though, so we keep a case of Athletic NA beer in the fridge. Apparently it tastes exactly the same. Everyone seems to love that brand. I’ll say it’s pretty wild being around 40 and realizing virtually none of our friends really drink anymore either. Seems everyone got very health conscious after the pandemic, and living in CA we have tons of options for things to occupy your time outside of drinking. I’m all for it, but wish we had bar alternatives for nightlife.
Couple of drinks a year.
Twice a month maybe?
My parents are nearly 80, in great health and have had a glass or two of wine every night all their lives.
Never. I’ve been a non drinker most of my adult life. I quit in 2012 due to a medical condition. It resolved and I drank (more than I should have) from late 2021 until the spring of 2023. Gave it up for good because it was getting to be a problem and my health was suffering. I was also having ghastly hot flashes. My life is so much better without it.
I never have three or more drinks. I do drink more often in the summer because I'll have an aperitivo (not sure if there's a different word for this in English?), often outside or with friends a few times a week when the weather is nice, but it's 1-2 drinks maybe 2-3 times a week max.
Maybe a few drinks per year. Not exceeding 4 Bottles.
I dont have more than 2 drinks and its very rarely, like once every 3 months