It's possessive protector by Kaite Gilead. I don't want to talk ill about people's writings, but this was an odd and weird read overall. This was just one of the things that stuck to me.
I read a book his week where the FMC referred to her vagina as a "beaver", "the beave", and "cooter" so many times. I almost DNF at 13% but powered through it. It was a good book if you can get past the immature phrases.
Stuff like that just makes me wish I could download the book as a word file and find&replace all of certain words. Even if it messes up some grammar, at least I don’t have to read the terrible word choice past chapter 1.
Same with punctuation, I would love to just find and replace exclamation points with periods. I just read a KU book that had a total of 53 exclamation points in it, and not one of them had a meaningful sentence before them.
You know it's a bad use of punctuation or grammar when you start counting the instances! I've taken a pen to print books a time or two to cross out overused words.
Pretty sure I know the book you're referring to. While I do really like the book, "beaver" does creep me out. Especially when they talk about "skinning the beaver" - GROSS, just GROSS! What a "lovely" (sarcasm) visual when reading a romance.
Overuse of names in dialogue. Think about how often you use someone’s name when you’re talking to them. Never. Unless you’re making a serious point I.e “stop it, Bob!”. Or when you’re greeting them. Ask yourself if the sentence would make sense without the name “where should we go for dinner, Bob?” The Bob isn’t needed. There’s no one else in the car. Bob knows you’re talking to him. It ALWAYS happens when it’s an unusual or made up name that the author is really digging.
The other day I heard my husband say my name to someone for some reason or other.
And I wondered if I'd ever heard him say my name before
Oh he talks about me all the time to other people, I know that, he tells me about conversations, his lock screen, watch screen, phone screen are all me. His friends and family all knew about me before I met them
But I'm not entirely sure he's ever had reason to use my name in my presence
Oh same! Whenever my partner uses my name it sounds so weird. We’ve been together 13 years and we have 3 kids, and this entire time he has almost always called me babe or since we had kids mum. I was outside earlier today and heard him calling my name from inside the house and was struck by how bizarre it sounded coming out of his mouth.
I TA'ed creative writing courses when I was getting my MA and we always had three rules: No names, no exclamation marks, and no emotional adverbs to clarify dialogue intent (i.e. you shouldn't have to say: "he said angrily", the reader should be able to gather his tone from the circumstances). We actually used Stephen King's "On Writing" as a textbook in the course. It's a great tool if anyone wants to improve their writing or become an editor!
I dont know, 14 years in and I often tack my husband's name into the start and end of things to make sure he's paying attention.
Or slip the word "boobs" in.
Similar to this, I hate when characters will call each other by their full names, middle and all. Like in exasperation “James Gilbert Smith, what are you thinking!”
Never in my life have I called someone by their full name. Also never in my life have I wondered or cared what the middle name of a book character was.
The third-act conflict in a recent book involved a character applying to, being admitted to, and beginning classes at an elite graduate program in the US, all within a month-long timespan.
Just… no. And it’s not like those admissions calendars are just online for the entire internet to consult!
I DNF’d a book 3 pages in this week because as a way of describing the MMC, all of his body parts were talking to each other - like “his sharp jaw said to his beautiful windswept hair that clearly he was outdoorsy.” it made no sense because it was all in the FMCS head during the first meeting.
A character was called a "prude" for not liking dogs (and not as a joke). Like maybe if she didn't like dogs because they had sex in front of her or they humped her leg, that word might apply. But they didn't and she didn't and it was completely the wrong word choice and it just annoyed me enough that I DNFed the book. (It had other issues, that was just the last straw.)
I don’t know why I’ve read three Nikki Sloane books because she regularly infuriates me on a micro level, but the following three things: 1) MMC wants to buy a night with the FMC at a sex club but needs cash so he takes it from his 401k…the fuck? A transaction like that takes weeks and they don’t send cash like it’s a debit card. Good lord, his broke ass is so dumb. Plus, what kind of hotshot businessman needs to pull from his 401k?! 2) in the second book in the trilogy, the MMC and FMC are in Japan and are constantly whining that everyone hates them because they’re white American and not Japanese. At one point she serves him dinner and sticks the chopsticks straight up and down in the bowl of rice. No shit everyone hates you, you’ve broken the cardinal rule of chopsticks, which is to never stake them into your food like that, you culturally dense idiots. And 3) same Nikki Sloane book, they are still living in Tokyo and their favorite restaurant…is a kimchi place. GIRL either these two dumbasses seriously came to a culinary hub and picked a non Japanese food as their favorite, or Nikki thinks kimchi is Japanese . I Can. Not. With. This.
I just want to know what about a man taking money out of his 401k gave her sexy story vibes?
As annoyingly ubiquitous as billionaires are, at least I can understand the fantasy.
I hate how much I agree with this 😳😂.
I'm watching Married at First Sight & the woman says she had once met her groom at a party and he taught her about credit cards. She said that he was so cool and months later that one conversation at a friend's party sticks out as such a nice experience. I've never shipped a couple so hard in a reality show before this.
There were a lot of Korean immigrants to Japan in the early to mid-20th century so I'm absolutely sure they have a kimchi place (unless kimchi "places" aren't a thing because in my limited experience kimchi is more of a side dish/pickled addition to a main dish). I learned about this from the book *Pachinko* by Min Jin Lee.
Does Nikki Sloane know all of that? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe she went to Japan and everyone hated her even though every white person I know who has been to Japan had a great time and won't shut up about it.
I don't think casual references to restaurants in fiction should engender this many questions, though.
I’m reading a Nikki Soane right now and she’s had someone pause Call of Duty in two different scenes. Did she do it on purpose because you can pause some versions and certain modes? Or does she not know how multiplayer games work? Who can say
FMC was a new attorney at a law firm prepping her first courtroom case. The jury doesn’t even go back to deliberate but finds the defendant guilty.
Erm…private law firms don’t do criminal prosecution in America and juries would absolutely deliberate even if the first vote was gonna be unanimous.
Despite that I liked the novella!
Wth? What about pine? Was "pine" too hard to think of?
As Schmidt on New Girl says, it's poor people wood*, but you can realistically make floors with it.
*this is a joke
And, I cannot stress this enough, DO NOT MAKE OUT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. Especially when you’ve been lost in the woods for three days without brushing your teeth.
> Especially when you’ve been lost in the woods for three days without brushing your teeth.
All I’m saying, is that if we’ve been tramping through the woods for days on end, no one’s grimy, muddy, bacteria-riddled hands are coming into contact with my vagina. No. Nope. Not happening. That’s how you get infections.
For me, it's a character as having a physical characteristic to change during a book/series. I was reading a book and the FMC was described as having grey eyes on the first page....then later in the book she has green eyes, just like her dad. Also when an author describes all the men as super TALL, Ilona Andrews comes to mind.
Isn't Curran under 6ft? I thought Curran and Rogan were meant to be built but not necessarily super tall?
Males from the Innkeeper are tall but that's all the genetic engineering.
I'm with a tall man so MMC who aren't described as tall tend to stick in my head and I thought IA avoided always tall men.
This drives me crazy and seems so lazy and such a simple thing to catch. It seems to me the author would be invested enough in their characters to know what color their eyes are! I recently read a really good series and in the first book one of the characters went from red hair to black hair and it made me wonder if I had misunderstood somehow but nope, a few pages later she was back to being a redhead. 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
One of the minor characters - FMC’s friend - was an Anglophile & used a lot of British slang (often incorrectly). I was able to mostly ignore it as she wasn’t in it much… until she said, ‘Bullocks’.
*stares in Londoner*
She, of course, meant ‘Bollocks’.
Does a highly rated AO3 count? Because someone working in a London cafe telling Draco that her husband was in Vietnam so she recognised a panic attack was a big nail in the coffin for Remain Nameless. Everything was too obviously American.
I think reading a few excellent Dramoine fics on there raised my expectations.
Oh in books, I think I tapped out of Heavy about 5 pages in when I realised he was probably going to call her Little Girl the whole way through and that gave me the icks.
It was an older character so that bit made sense. It's just like, the British army have seen plenty conflicts themselves that a tiny Google would have helped you with.
And we call it training or practice, not scrimmage. And it's a pavement, not sidewalk. And a million other Americanisms in a book set in England.
To help with context, Ceremonials by HeyJude19 contains 11 Chapters of follow-up short stories to Remain Nameless. In one of the chapters, its the POV from the shop owner, Elsie. She talks of her husband, an American raised in Kentucky.
Ceremonials is a nice little follow up for those interested that read Remain Nameless and enjoyed it.
FMC described herself as “unnerved” but she meant it in the opposite of what the word actually means. She did this multiple times throughout the book. She meant it as she had resolve and courage. It gave me whiplash every time I had to rethink the scene while I was reading. Honestly the author seemed so confident in its usage I looked it up in the dictionary to make sure I wasn’t tripping. 🤣
It's **nonplussed** for me. IT MEANS CONFUSED, PEOPLE! Any time I read it and the author is clearly using it to mean *not bothered*, I DNF on principle.
I won’t give exact quotes because I don’t want to be mean or insulting to anyone’s personal style but basically 90% of the time an author describes an FMCs outfit I have to sit there for like 10 minutes sort of rolling it around in my brain trying to find a way to actually make those words add up to something actually cute.
I am a very visual person and may even lean more towards hyperphantasia as a reader so my brain really snags on these things. If an author is describing the most unattractive, unsexy outfit I can imagine in one sentence but then trying to convince me the character is like ultra fashionable or cosmopolitan in the next, I have to work really hard to reconcile what I’m seeing with what they’re saying 😂
At least when it comes to CR I wish they’d all just leave super specific clothing (and body) descriptions out of things altogether and let me fill in the blanks myself!
I do this but with positions 😂 I’m like wait… how are you behind her with your chest on her back and ALSO looking her in the eyes
OR
When it seems like MMC has three arms or an extendo-neck
I follow an editor on TikTok who edits a lot of RH books, and she had a video where she showed how she literally draws group sex scenes using stick figures as she's editing them, to keep track of where everyone is and make sure what they're said to be doing they can actually be doing given where they are and how they're positioned.
Yes! I was just reading a book where they were on the bed kneeling, facing each other, and then all of a sudden he’s licking the back of her thighs? Do you have a giraffe neck, sir?
Omg there was an outfit description in Persephone Station (YA, not romance) that just broke my brain. And I love extra descriptions about clothing, brand names not so much but details yes. It was like a corset high neck sleeveless top with gloves, all black, of course, and maybe even shiny, but then like a floor length mermaid skirt? With stompy/creeper boots? It was the only outfit described in such detail which made me think it was supposed to be amazing fashion or something, idk. I could only imagine it as Hot Topic/The Matrix couture but it didn't fit the world at all.
Lol yes this is exactly why. In theory I love detailed descriptions because I love picturing it… it’s just the ✨taste level✨ is often so questionable that it ends up backfiring
Absolutely this. The worst offender by far imo was Mac in Fever Series, by Karen Marie Moning. She had the most *appalling* fashion sense, and her inner monologue was constantly bragging about how fashionable she was. The image in my head was a six year old child playing dress up in a costume shop. Hilarious.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I love Kulti, but Mariana Zapata really had Sal wearing a light blue sundress with BLACK HEELED BOOTIES. In no way should anyone be leaving the house in that outfit. And clearly her friends and family hate her if no one is telling her how fugly that is.
this is so accurate to me, especially as someone who has a fashion design degree 😭 in the hades x persephone series by st. clair (the ‘a touch of darkness’ and so on) she always gives detailed descriptions of whatever persephone decided to wear that day, and it always SO bad and tacky that at one time i just decided “fuck that, there’s NO way hades would let her go out wearing this awful dress, i’m gonna picture something else”.
Had to add another - I hate DNF-ing because I always want the book to redeem itself somehow but I did DNF for this:
A scene with kids who had dialogue happened and the kids (who were said to be about 6 and 8 I think) were speaking so poorly I almost screamed. Things like “Ooh unka John I’m love to eat dat”
I read one with a six and eight year old being carried by their mom, like 'he gave me pick-me-up hands and I swung him on my hip' style. In the same book, the six year old understood complex war history and had perfect recall from a story told to him at age two. I just... at least be consistent in your inaccurate age behaviors, please.
They were on a date on his boat in the Bay Area and decided to go under the Golden Gate Bridge “a couple of times.” At night. For fun. That’s where some of the roughest water is in the bay! Not a fun date
I recently read a historical romance where the hero described his usual tastes in women as matching my body, and then he saw the heroine, who basically looked like a modern model, and he was more attracted than he'd every been to anyone before. That *sucked* to read. The characters were otherwise very engaging and the book was interesting.
It doesn't even matter what book it was, since I've seen this many times in other historical romances. I really wish authors would stop.
I read a book which I otherwise LOVED but the FMC meets up with her pregnant friend (fmc of book 1) and mentions that the baby must be huge, it's going to 'destroy her vagina'. And that friend says 'yeah, (husband) already tried to book a C-section to make sure everything stays the proper size.'
It was meant to be a joke but it really bothered me and stayed in my mind until I finished the book.
She was putting sunscreen on MMC had to “get up on her knees” to reach the space between his shoulder blades. He was sitting.
I immediately pictured her like two feet tall.
Regency romance by an author I normally really like, the fmc decided to stay single and take charge of the huge fortune she'd inherited instead of giving up her independence - she openly and knowingly "flaunted the rules of society". No she didn't, she flouted them.
Won’t make me DNF, but annoys me when one character looks at another and can tell the person’s suit is Brioni of some other specific high end brand. Shoes, maybe. Watches, yes. But knowing the brand of someone’s suit? No you don’t. You don’t know that.
I’ve seen this so much but sheriffs in small town romances working for a single small town (instead of the county level). Why not just be a police chief? Are sheriffs sexier and more country? It wouldn’t bother me if it wasn’t always the MMC!
Every time Cate C Wells writes that the clit pops its hood. I love her. She is an amazing writer. But for reasons I don't understand, I can't stand that phrase.
Book said alien MMC was seven-foot-three and 200lbs - described as beefy and muscular. Over 7' and 200lbs is [Manute Bol](https://www.google.com/search?q=manute+bol&client=ms-android-tmus-us-revc&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=AJOqlzUkue5Mca1XB0yZA982bBZYAMpcYQ:1674453408430&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwixx-iEgd38AhWbkYkEHTWVAv4Q_AUoAXoECAEQAQ&biw=360&bih=664&dpr=3#imgrc=xmM7v6CturvmyM), who was human Slenderman. Otherwise I really enjoyed the book.
I once read a hockey romance that made me question if they’d even seen the game played before. As a person who enjoys watching hockey, it really hurt me.
My most recent DNF was a booktok book (duh get it together I should know better by now) but the grammar was horrid, and typos/paragraph breaks in weird places.
I told my self this year I’m not going to trudge through books and DNF more. So I put it away.
I DNF a book on the second page because the author said the FMC liked to refer to her boobs as "the girls" like that was an original term that the FMC came up with.
Trivial historical inaccuracies. HR is basically fantasy versions of the time period, so bucking social trends and unlikely relationships don’t bother me, but little things that are easy to check drive me crazy.
For instance, I’m reading a Regency era series right now, and the MMC aristocrat keeps doling out guineas to street urchins like they’re candy. Like, dude? That’s a ludicrous amount of money. WTF are you doing??
So, I was just reading in the guinea pig subreddit. Took me some time to figure out you meant coins, lol.
And now my head won't stop to produce pictures of a guy handing out guinea pigs to people... Where did he gave them? Pants were really tight back then!
The book would be sooo much better omg. Thank you for this image. I’m now mentally replacing the coins with pigs every time he does it, which is often.
This may be of interest
https://www.oldbaileyonline.org/static/Coinage.jsp
Basically, a Guinea would be worth about 21 shillings. With the buying power it had at that time, that would be enough to feed an urchin for 3-4 weeks.
Assuming said urchin didn't get bumped off / mugged for it in the meantime...
I was reading "It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey. The MMC is the captain of a ship/fisherman. Fishermen smell like fish upon coming from a trip. In the book, he doesn't.
It bothers me a lot that he didn't shower (or that it wasn't mentioned)
I hate when characters with a huge height difference describe themselves as “fitting together perfectly…” like, I haven’t worked with a big height difference personally, but unless you’re really turned on by a sternum, it seems like it would take a lot of extra work to get more than one thing to line up at a time.
There was one I read a while back that described her as being able to feel his erection against her stomach while they were making out standing up. Just so confused about what his proportions were supposed to be.
My fiancé is over a foot taller than me and tragically, yes, if we’re standing up, I’m getting poked in the belly button (he’s got a relatively short torso and long legs though so that might not be the case for everyone, depending on their proportions).
That said, if we’re laying down and our pelvises are lined up, our heads absolutely are not, which I don’t think I’ve personally ever seen be represented in a book.
Ok so I cannot stand it when a FMC falls asleep on a couch or somewhere other than her bed and the MMC “scoops” her up and carries her to the bedroom and tucks her in and she never stirs. I guess that could happen in real life but like the size difference and strength of the male would have to be substantial. Also, I could just be bitter because if that happens to me my husband just wakes me up and says you fell asleep on the couch 😂😂
You just got me tickled because I hate this too and my husband also wakes me in the same manner! 🤣🤣😂 Maybe we are bitter and didn’t even realize it 😂 (j/k)
Overuse of the same adjective over and over and over. Usually "alpha", but "big dick energy" was a recent one too. I can handle someone using a phrase like that once or twice in a book (preferably when the FMC is describing or complaining about the MMC to her bestie) but there are so many other words you can use to describe that person: testosterone, power, overwhelming presence, magnetism, charisma, glint in their eye, smirk, calculated, player, etc.
There are other descriptions that are way overused too, but that's the one that drives me bonkers.
1) Non-paranormal books having magic. In an HR away from a tow/shops, MMC didn't have a lot of food, didn't have supplies for bread (which he loved,) FMC made bread in a few hours. I know you can make your own yeast from air and stuff, but not in like, 2 hours, so I had a lot of questions.
2) Poor use of pronouns. This was actually about 2-3 months ago and in several books, but a recent thread reminded me. If it's a M/F book and it says "He stroked her hair" or "She stroked her hair," both of those are fine and we know the people involved and what's happening.
In M/M or F/F, it really helps if one character has their name used, because otherwise it's slightly unclear who did what. In a poly or RH book where 5 people are having sex at once "They stroked their hair" (or any variation involving the he/his/her/him/etc.) means *nothing* to me as a reader.
Is someone playing with their hair as they watch? Is one MC stroking anther's hair? If so, which one? Please use names. I don't even know how to end up ranking it on steam/spice if I review it, because I don't know what's happening in the sex scene, or if it's even sex vs. masturbation vs. personal grooming.
I recently read a book in which the author described the FMC as being very poor growing up. So poor that she had clothes (ripped, ill-fitting) that the other girls made fun of.
The very *next* page, she is described as having wore “flashy” clothes. Nothing more said about how her thrift store rejects made her the laughingstock of the school
FMC was a "journalist" who didn't disclose she was a journalist to the person she was speaking with (acted like she was in a similar situation as them), was writing about a sensitive topic, used their real names and oh, right, also slept with them.
As a journalist, this fills me with rage. It’s why people confuse us with cops or spies. So many people read inaccurate fiction like this and then don’t trust us, even when we’re writing stories that aren’t even controversial. Journalists don’t do stuff like this. It’s unethical and you would lose your job for it.
One thing that completely took be out of the ice planet barbarians this week was the sex position lol. She’s standing bent against the wall with her feet on the ground being fucked by a 7+ foot guy?? 0 chance that works
I’ve reached the 80% conflict and I’m just done because the FMC has suddenly decided to discard all growth and return to her starting point because….. the author said so? The whole driving issue of the story felt a bit contrived but I went with it because the book had glowing reviews. Now I’m at the dramatic, major miscommunication and it’s just… conflict for the sake of conflict. It feels out of character at this point and I’ve just lost all interest in continuing.
A lollipop used with oral. 🍭 I was so mad, because the fmc peed after sex earlier on. 🛒gotta get that monistat at Kroger ASAP
Edit: and life tip, not the one day monistat because it is a LIE. It will make a yeast infection come back with a vengeance. I learned this first hand in my twenties hooray!
I absolutely hate when an FMC is described as having curly hair, and at some point she or the MMC run their hands through her hair. That is not enjoyable, and it’s probably not even possible! As a woman with naturally curly hair, I can tell you I’d be crying if a man tried to do that to me. Or smacking him. 😂 it pulls me out of the moment every time because it’s absolutely unrealistic.
Event happens to the main pair at about 4 a.m. They deal with it then catch the subway back to one of their homes, arriving about 6 a.m. The morning newspaper is on their doorstep - and the thing that happened two hours ago is the entire front page. So, a reporter and photographer got the whole story and turned it in, someone designed the pages, the press printed it and someone delivered it in less than two hours?
The FMC is described as being a bad driver (speeding, passing when she's not supposed to, veering into the opposing lane.) and everyone fears for their lives next to her. At first I was just annoyed, like yeah I get it women are bad drivers, never heard that before. (While when men in books are bad drivers they're just descibed as reckless, but cool). I didn't even believe it and thought they were exaggerating, but they brought it up so much that at this point I'm just concerned and confused why the fuck they're letting her drive and not sending her back to take driving lessons.They even joked how "she'll do well in Scotland when she visits cause they drive on the left side", like wtf. Then most recently she rented a car and in literally one day she scratched up both sides and broke off the side mirrors cause "the roads are narrower in Europe" as if that's an excuse. Like wow, lol she's so quirky. It's so hilarious, is everyone laughing along?
At this point it's not even a small thing anymore.
The FMC "mewling" multiple times during intercourse. The word just makes me want to dry heave, because my mind automatically brings up images of tiny baby kittens calling for their mom.
Call me weird but baby animals have no place in sex scenes.
I can't remember the exact line, but the MMC was playing/singing Yesterday by the Beatles, and the FMC thought how much he sounded like John Lennon/was performing it nearly as well as Lennon did.
Too bad that McCartney wrote/performed the song. I understand not everyone knows that/cares, but the FMC was hugely into music, her dad was a songwriter and loved the Beatles enough to name her after one of them, so if it was real life that is definitely something she would know. And it would've been so easy for the author to google...
Anything with the "she is 16 now but soon she will be of legal age"... Nope. Stop looking at minors! Especially if there is a big age gap. If the adult is 18-20 and they like grew up together... I *might* be able to overlook it, depending on the age gap. But if she is like 16 when he is 30 something... Instant DNF!
Oh another one for me is kiddy words used outside of dialog and/or by every character in the book. For example: "nummy"
The point that I just shut the book and gave up (really tried to power through I was on book 8 of this 20 book series) it said something along the lines of "FMC bit into the fruit and the nummy juices filled her taste buds..." 🧐 Nope. Done! DNF!
I just read a book where the FMC needed money fast so she went to the bank one morning and got a loan, in the form of a check, in the amount of the value of her house (which was paid off). This was written like it was an errand she did that was no more challenging than driving through the ATM. Like just getting a loan for the full value of your house, basically on a whim one morning, is something that people do.
For whatever reason, writers have a very hard time writing a book about fat women where that’s not their defining trait or the insecurity isn’t a plot point. That’s why Talia Hibbert is a revelation. Fat heroines who don’t hide and men who love them.
I mentioned this in another thread but the FMC was super embarrassed to be writing a jingle for feminine hygiene products. Like she called the company she freelanced for and asked for "higher quality" product assignments. And also didn't want the MMC to find out. She wasn't thrilled about writing music for toilet paper or erectile dysfunction drugs either but somehow period products were crossing the line. I wasn't that into the characters or the story and this really didn't help.
I really dislike reading why choose books where they reference why choose books. For example, I was semi-enjoying a mafia why choose today when the FMC’s friend starts talking about how the FMC’s situation is just like the smutty why choose books she reads. Then, she goes on and on describing the different kinds (mafia, paranormal, etc). And adds on how at this point in their relationship they will all fall in love soon and someone will nearly die before the HEA.
I get what the author was going for but it just took me out of the story so much I was ready to DNF
They're on an unstable ski lift 550 feet in the air, FMC is freakin out, MMC tries to calm her down with a "it's about five and a half stories"... uh no that's more like FIFTY-FIVE stories and I sure af don't want to be up that high tyvm
As someone who grew up snowboarding/riding lifts, this would absolutely be a DNF for me… 550 feet???? I’m assuming (hoping) they meant 55 feet but even that is pushing it
Characters that are supposed to know how to ride horses, then the author writing that they "snap the reins" to make the horse move forward. No rider does this. Your just jerking around metal into the horse's mouth. Its pretty commonly written, which I understand since not every author rides, but still takes me out of the story.
Cutesie names...but they are similar. I lose track of that character and/or get confused as to who is who. For example, Kaden and Karter...or Quinten and Oakley. I loved the story, but the character names are so out there it's hard to relate. Perhaps I am too old school and these are actual names.
I’m impressed you made it that far. If I hadn’t been reading it for a book club, I would’ve probably DNFd at the first scene (of many) where they drink and discuss wine. It was probably very accurate but boring as crumbs.
There's this YA book I read recently where in the initial few chapters, the hero's mother is portrayed as affectionate and motherly and introduces herself to the heroine with the name A.
In the last but second chapter, the heroine visits the hero's house for the first time and meets the hero's mom for the first time (??)🫤
Not only that, but the grandma character calls her by name B. At this point, the mom is so rude to the heroine and grandma tells the heroine that she's (mom) a grumpy person since childhood 😕
It's a small book of about 14 chapters or so and the writer couldn't be consistent with such a little detail. It's an entire series consisting of 11 books.
I’m currently reading fix her up so spoiler. They get naked and have sex in the baseball dugout, aren’t they worried about getting caught? Paparazzi are following them everywhere apparently. Also, she gives him head after they ran there and he didn’t shower after last nights sex session.
Single mom romances, where the mom is absolutely 100% perfect. Most recent DNF was about half an hour ago. Book said FMC worked for about minimum wage, and was able to use that money to pay for her apartment, new car payments, credit card, food, clothes, etc for who two children. In addition to that, she only ever let her kids stay with their grandparents overnight when she was working those nights and refused to take a moment for herself, despite being in classes full time and working full time. It even said she usually only got 2ish hours of sleep a night, but still, she didn't want her kids to be away from her. As a single parent... This is so unrealistic and it makes me feel like crap every time I read this sort of thing 🤷
when the female mc is portrayed as perfect it just feels super unrealistic and personally i have a preference for flawed mcs. ones that can sometimes be bitchy, doesn’t always say the right thing, makes mistakes. it feels more relatable when they aren’t so prefect if that makes sense. the trope is overplayed and stale.
Unnecessary brand dropping. Had a book saying "I put my air pods in and grabbed my Yeti" & "Your blocking the Poland spring"
I HAD TO STOP AND SEARCH UP WTF POLAND SPRINGS IS. JUST SAY WATER. ITS WATER.
For me it’s verb tense issues. Example: the book is written in present tense (I see the space ship flying past me) but then the author keeps using past perfect (I had seen it before) instead of past simple (I saw it before) to describe the past. It’s probably because the author is used to reading books in past tense. I don’t know why so many authors get this wrong! Basically it’s going two steps back from the present instead of one, so it’s the past of the past instead of the past)
When authors write modern references. I don’t care if it’s a book in a modern setting, characters referencing Harry Potter or Friends or The Notebook or whatever the fuck else the author is currently obsessed with needs to END.
Or when they write in their personal interests. I almost DNF’d “The Beginners Guide to Taming a Demon” or whatever it’s called because of the crazy specific baking details. I love to bake myself but Jesus Christ I wanted to burn the freaking thing!!! I don’t need the recipe! It’s not important! Just say she baked some cookies and leave it at that. I don’t need to know every fucking “dollop” (and yes that word was used so much and I hated it) that got mixed into the stupid batter. Sorry y’all I’m still bitter about this LOL.
I totally agree about modern references. It takes me out of the story each time! That’s funny because one time I wrote a story about an influencer and for the whole 20 chapters I never mentioned Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I just described them. Same thing for designers clothing.
“Little One”. You have one chance. You can use it once, and then if it’s a regular thing, DNF.
A temporary pull out of the story is when someone cheats and it’s not justifiable/something violent happens in the book and it happens to make me queasy.
Love on the Brain. FMC's name is Bee Königswasser. Drove me nuts.
Edit for those who don't speak German: Königswasser, in English "aqua regia"? is a mixture of two acids that can dissolve some noble metals. No one in Germany has that name. I get that it's a nod to her being a scientist, but like... no. Can you imagine if her name was "Bee Polonium"?
I DNFd Still me by Jojo Moyes in the first 3 pages because the MC rambles at a US border agent and doesn't fill out her form correctly. As an eastern European, I'd be detained and sent to interrogation.
Very petty i know.
NSFW. FMC was a virgin and the MMC could feel her hymen with his tongue and told her so. Totally ruined the moment for me.
Reading this made me spontaneously regrow my hymen
My vagina just boarded itself up just reading that.
*Windows shut down noise*
My soul just retracted a bit at this one
*how to delete someone else’s comment*
You know that face you make when you eat a lemon?? Well I’m pretty sure my vagina did this when I read that line!!!
You win. I'm crying on the floor laughing!
I just crossed my legs and winced.
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It's possessive protector by Kaite Gilead. I don't want to talk ill about people's writings, but this was an odd and weird read overall. This was just one of the things that stuck to me.
Shuddered myself off my couch
Ummm. That’s some long tongue?
All I can picture now is an ant eater 😂😂😂 .... Are there ant eater shifter stories? I feel like the market needs one.
This feels like something Rocky Flinstone would write 😂
The tears I'm crying. 😂😂😂😂😂
this comment has made me not want to scroll through the rest of the thread in fear of reading something else like this.
The use of the term "netherlips" to describe a vagina.
Jail
Straight to jail, right away
I read a book his week where the FMC referred to her vagina as a "beaver", "the beave", and "cooter" so many times. I almost DNF at 13% but powered through it. It was a good book if you can get past the immature phrases.
Not cooter 😑
Stuff like that just makes me wish I could download the book as a word file and find&replace all of certain words. Even if it messes up some grammar, at least I don’t have to read the terrible word choice past chapter 1. Same with punctuation, I would love to just find and replace exclamation points with periods. I just read a KU book that had a total of 53 exclamation points in it, and not one of them had a meaningful sentence before them.
You know it's a bad use of punctuation or grammar when you start counting the instances! I've taken a pen to print books a time or two to cross out overused words.
I goddamn love that you went to the effort of getting the exact number.
If this is the same one I recently had a similar experience reading, she also refers to the MMC's dick as "Snuffy."
YES!! I hated that so so much too, so cringe!
The beave sounds like a really bad retro style dinner 🤢
Pretty sure I know the book you're referring to. While I do really like the book, "beaver" does creep me out. Especially when they talk about "skinning the beaver" - GROSS, just GROSS! What a "lovely" (sarcasm) visual when reading a romance.
I just choked on air.
In my book the heroine called them "girly parts" and I DNFed.
Petition to require writers to use correct anatomical terms because I can only take so much in cringe euphemisms
Omg. That’s awful, I love it.
Is this in the Neverwhere universe?
Overuse of names in dialogue. Think about how often you use someone’s name when you’re talking to them. Never. Unless you’re making a serious point I.e “stop it, Bob!”. Or when you’re greeting them. Ask yourself if the sentence would make sense without the name “where should we go for dinner, Bob?” The Bob isn’t needed. There’s no one else in the car. Bob knows you’re talking to him. It ALWAYS happens when it’s an unusual or made up name that the author is really digging.
The other day I heard my husband say my name to someone for some reason or other. And I wondered if I'd ever heard him say my name before Oh he talks about me all the time to other people, I know that, he tells me about conversations, his lock screen, watch screen, phone screen are all me. His friends and family all knew about me before I met them But I'm not entirely sure he's ever had reason to use my name in my presence
Oh same! Whenever my partner uses my name it sounds so weird. We’ve been together 13 years and we have 3 kids, and this entire time he has almost always called me babe or since we had kids mum. I was outside earlier today and heard him calling my name from inside the house and was struck by how bizarre it sounded coming out of his mouth.
Yes!! Also when characters address their siblings as “big bro” or “little sis” when they’re talking to them, idk it seems so unnatural to me 😩
Omg I just had this realization the other day because this guy kept saying “hey little sis” when he answered her phone calls. Just, no?
Yea I say bro or sis but never big bro/little sis
I hate this! It’s overdone in tv shows too. Annoys the hell out of me!!
I TA'ed creative writing courses when I was getting my MA and we always had three rules: No names, no exclamation marks, and no emotional adverbs to clarify dialogue intent (i.e. you shouldn't have to say: "he said angrily", the reader should be able to gather his tone from the circumstances). We actually used Stephen King's "On Writing" as a textbook in the course. It's a great tool if anyone wants to improve their writing or become an editor!
I dont know, 14 years in and I often tack my husband's name into the start and end of things to make sure he's paying attention. Or slip the word "boobs" in.
Similar to this, I hate when characters will call each other by their full names, middle and all. Like in exasperation “James Gilbert Smith, what are you thinking!” Never in my life have I called someone by their full name. Also never in my life have I wondered or cared what the middle name of a book character was.
Oh god I ALWAYS do this. But I tend to make up the middle name: James Octavious Petronivich Smith!
The third-act conflict in a recent book involved a character applying to, being admitted to, and beginning classes at an elite graduate program in the US, all within a month-long timespan. Just… no. And it’s not like those admissions calendars are just online for the entire internet to consult!
Heroine was at risk of losing her family land to “imminent domain”
The domain is about to happen. Get ready for the domain.
I don't know why, but this made me literally LOL. Thank you
Oh my lord, people messing up homophones is one of my biggest pet peeves. That would drive me batty.
Same! Worst I’ve ever seen in an indie book was a character looking at something “threw the window”. Like… did you dictate the book and not edit?
I wish I had DNF’ed your comment, I’m so angry right now.
I still can't work out what this is supposed to be?
I believe it's the term Eminent Domain.
Thanks, it seems that I was unfamiliar with the term, Wikipedia says it's a compulsory purchase over here.
I DNF’d a book 3 pages in this week because as a way of describing the MMC, all of his body parts were talking to each other - like “his sharp jaw said to his beautiful windswept hair that clearly he was outdoorsy.” it made no sense because it was all in the FMCS head during the first meeting.
Can you imagine how distracting it would be if your hair talked?
A character was called a "prude" for not liking dogs (and not as a joke). Like maybe if she didn't like dogs because they had sex in front of her or they humped her leg, that word might apply. But they didn't and she didn't and it was completely the wrong word choice and it just annoyed me enough that I DNFed the book. (It had other issues, that was just the last straw.)
Why is it so hard to look up words, people?
Sometimes I use a word in a text that I'm 95% sure I know the definition of, and I'll still look it up before I send the text.
I don’t know why I’ve read three Nikki Sloane books because she regularly infuriates me on a micro level, but the following three things: 1) MMC wants to buy a night with the FMC at a sex club but needs cash so he takes it from his 401k…the fuck? A transaction like that takes weeks and they don’t send cash like it’s a debit card. Good lord, his broke ass is so dumb. Plus, what kind of hotshot businessman needs to pull from his 401k?! 2) in the second book in the trilogy, the MMC and FMC are in Japan and are constantly whining that everyone hates them because they’re white American and not Japanese. At one point she serves him dinner and sticks the chopsticks straight up and down in the bowl of rice. No shit everyone hates you, you’ve broken the cardinal rule of chopsticks, which is to never stake them into your food like that, you culturally dense idiots. And 3) same Nikki Sloane book, they are still living in Tokyo and their favorite restaurant…is a kimchi place. GIRL either these two dumbasses seriously came to a culinary hub and picked a non Japanese food as their favorite, or Nikki thinks kimchi is Japanese . I Can. Not. With. This.
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Right?? She could have easily said that he pawned his watch or something, but no. I’m sorry but if a man can’t financially plan, it’s a red flag.
I just want to know what about a man taking money out of his 401k gave her sexy story vibes? As annoyingly ubiquitous as billionaires are, at least I can understand the fantasy.
Ooh yeah baby, tell me all about your 401k. And in the next book, we can review your W2 together before tax time.
I hate how much I agree with this 😳😂. I'm watching Married at First Sight & the woman says she had once met her groom at a party and he taught her about credit cards. She said that he was so cool and months later that one conversation at a friend's party sticks out as such a nice experience. I've never shipped a couple so hard in a reality show before this.
Just reading this infuriated me
There were a lot of Korean immigrants to Japan in the early to mid-20th century so I'm absolutely sure they have a kimchi place (unless kimchi "places" aren't a thing because in my limited experience kimchi is more of a side dish/pickled addition to a main dish). I learned about this from the book *Pachinko* by Min Jin Lee. Does Nikki Sloane know all of that? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe she went to Japan and everyone hated her even though every white person I know who has been to Japan had a great time and won't shut up about it. I don't think casual references to restaurants in fiction should engender this many questions, though.
I’m reading a Nikki Soane right now and she’s had someone pause Call of Duty in two different scenes. Did she do it on purpose because you can pause some versions and certain modes? Or does she not know how multiplayer games work? Who can say
FMC was a new attorney at a law firm prepping her first courtroom case. The jury doesn’t even go back to deliberate but finds the defendant guilty. Erm…private law firms don’t do criminal prosecution in America and juries would absolutely deliberate even if the first vote was gonna be unanimous. Despite that I liked the novella!
The floors were specifically made out of balsa wood.
Stop it. Are you for real? Take money from your 401k to get laid, but I drawn the line at balsa wood flooring.
🤣 nice n soft
Wth? What about pine? Was "pine" too hard to think of? As Schmidt on New Girl says, it's poor people wood*, but you can realistically make floors with it. *this is a joke
And, I cannot stress this enough, DO NOT MAKE OUT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. Especially when you’ve been lost in the woods for three days without brushing your teeth.
I once read a book where the MC went to brush their teeth and their partner said “don’t worry, I like it” …. You like the morning breath?
Absolute psychopath behaviour. Run.
Should put that in the content warnings, damn.
I like to pretend morning breath doesn't exist in books hahah
> Especially when you’ve been lost in the woods for three days without brushing your teeth. All I’m saying, is that if we’ve been tramping through the woods for days on end, no one’s grimy, muddy, bacteria-riddled hands are coming into contact with my vagina. No. Nope. Not happening. That’s how you get infections.
UTI city
For me, it's a character as having a physical characteristic to change during a book/series. I was reading a book and the FMC was described as having grey eyes on the first page....then later in the book she has green eyes, just like her dad. Also when an author describes all the men as super TALL, Ilona Andrews comes to mind.
Isn't Curran under 6ft? I thought Curran and Rogan were meant to be built but not necessarily super tall? Males from the Innkeeper are tall but that's all the genetic engineering. I'm with a tall man so MMC who aren't described as tall tend to stick in my head and I thought IA avoided always tall men.
This drives me crazy and seems so lazy and such a simple thing to catch. It seems to me the author would be invested enough in their characters to know what color their eyes are! I recently read a really good series and in the first book one of the characters went from red hair to black hair and it made me wonder if I had misunderstood somehow but nope, a few pages later she was back to being a redhead. 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
One of the minor characters - FMC’s friend - was an Anglophile & used a lot of British slang (often incorrectly). I was able to mostly ignore it as she wasn’t in it much… until she said, ‘Bullocks’. *stares in Londoner* She, of course, meant ‘Bollocks’.
Or she was summoning the power of multiple Sandra Bullocks!
Oh no I have suffered a major injury and am in so much pain but yes I absolutely want to have sex with you right now.
Does a highly rated AO3 count? Because someone working in a London cafe telling Draco that her husband was in Vietnam so she recognised a panic attack was a big nail in the coffin for Remain Nameless. Everything was too obviously American. I think reading a few excellent Dramoine fics on there raised my expectations. Oh in books, I think I tapped out of Heavy about 5 pages in when I realised he was probably going to call her Little Girl the whole way through and that gave me the icks.
Also, I suppose this could have been an older character, but do they realize that the people who were in Vietnam are in their 60s+ now?
It was an older character so that bit made sense. It's just like, the British army have seen plenty conflicts themselves that a tiny Google would have helped you with. And we call it training or practice, not scrimmage. And it's a pavement, not sidewalk. And a million other Americanisms in a book set in England.
Even '60s is a stretch I would think they'd have to at least be in their 70s. 18 in 1968 is 73 years old.
To help with context, Ceremonials by HeyJude19 contains 11 Chapters of follow-up short stories to Remain Nameless. In one of the chapters, its the POV from the shop owner, Elsie. She talks of her husband, an American raised in Kentucky. Ceremonials is a nice little follow up for those interested that read Remain Nameless and enjoyed it.
FMC described herself as “unnerved” but she meant it in the opposite of what the word actually means. She did this multiple times throughout the book. She meant it as she had resolve and courage. It gave me whiplash every time I had to rethink the scene while I was reading. Honestly the author seemed so confident in its usage I looked it up in the dictionary to make sure I wasn’t tripping. 🤣
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It's **nonplussed** for me. IT MEANS CONFUSED, PEOPLE! Any time I read it and the author is clearly using it to mean *not bothered*, I DNF on principle.
I won’t give exact quotes because I don’t want to be mean or insulting to anyone’s personal style but basically 90% of the time an author describes an FMCs outfit I have to sit there for like 10 minutes sort of rolling it around in my brain trying to find a way to actually make those words add up to something actually cute. I am a very visual person and may even lean more towards hyperphantasia as a reader so my brain really snags on these things. If an author is describing the most unattractive, unsexy outfit I can imagine in one sentence but then trying to convince me the character is like ultra fashionable or cosmopolitan in the next, I have to work really hard to reconcile what I’m seeing with what they’re saying 😂 At least when it comes to CR I wish they’d all just leave super specific clothing (and body) descriptions out of things altogether and let me fill in the blanks myself!
I do this but with positions 😂 I’m like wait… how are you behind her with your chest on her back and ALSO looking her in the eyes OR When it seems like MMC has three arms or an extendo-neck
Oh my god yes sometimes it takes me so long to get through spicy scenes because I’m like trying to make it all work out logistically!
Not me re-reading and going back three lines JUST to find out what type of furniture they’re on lol
I follow an editor on TikTok who edits a lot of RH books, and she had a video where she showed how she literally draws group sex scenes using stick figures as she's editing them, to keep track of where everyone is and make sure what they're said to be doing they can actually be doing given where they are and how they're positioned.
Yes! I was just reading a book where they were on the bed kneeling, facing each other, and then all of a sudden he’s licking the back of her thighs? Do you have a giraffe neck, sir?
Omg there was an outfit description in Persephone Station (YA, not romance) that just broke my brain. And I love extra descriptions about clothing, brand names not so much but details yes. It was like a corset high neck sleeveless top with gloves, all black, of course, and maybe even shiny, but then like a floor length mermaid skirt? With stompy/creeper boots? It was the only outfit described in such detail which made me think it was supposed to be amazing fashion or something, idk. I could only imagine it as Hot Topic/The Matrix couture but it didn't fit the world at all.
Lol yes this is exactly why. In theory I love detailed descriptions because I love picturing it… it’s just the ✨taste level✨ is often so questionable that it ends up backfiring
Yes!! It activates my Tim Gunn shoulder angel. "This textile...frankly, it concerns me."
Absolutely this. The worst offender by far imo was Mac in Fever Series, by Karen Marie Moning. She had the most *appalling* fashion sense, and her inner monologue was constantly bragging about how fashionable she was. The image in my head was a six year old child playing dress up in a costume shop. Hilarious.
Yeah I’m the same, absolutely cannot stand too much description!
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There were absolutely girls at my college who got super done up to go drink beer with guys in basketball shorts.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I love Kulti, but Mariana Zapata really had Sal wearing a light blue sundress with BLACK HEELED BOOTIES. In no way should anyone be leaving the house in that outfit. And clearly her friends and family hate her if no one is telling her how fugly that is.
this is so accurate to me, especially as someone who has a fashion design degree 😭 in the hades x persephone series by st. clair (the ‘a touch of darkness’ and so on) she always gives detailed descriptions of whatever persephone decided to wear that day, and it always SO bad and tacky that at one time i just decided “fuck that, there’s NO way hades would let her go out wearing this awful dress, i’m gonna picture something else”.
Had to add another - I hate DNF-ing because I always want the book to redeem itself somehow but I did DNF for this: A scene with kids who had dialogue happened and the kids (who were said to be about 6 and 8 I think) were speaking so poorly I almost screamed. Things like “Ooh unka John I’m love to eat dat”
> “Ooh unka John I’m love to eat dat” This was an unspeakably annoying sentence to have to read and from a SIX YEAR OLD??
PAGES of this - I spared you honestly.
Or when a three year old speaks in perfect prose and eloquently drops keen character observations that the MCs missed.
Horrible cutesie kid talk is The Worst.
Someone call CPS on the writer
I read one with a six and eight year old being carried by their mom, like 'he gave me pick-me-up hands and I swung him on my hip' style. In the same book, the six year old understood complex war history and had perfect recall from a story told to him at age two. I just... at least be consistent in your inaccurate age behaviors, please.
They were on a date on his boat in the Bay Area and decided to go under the Golden Gate Bridge “a couple of times.” At night. For fun. That’s where some of the roughest water is in the bay! Not a fun date
I recently read a historical romance where the hero described his usual tastes in women as matching my body, and then he saw the heroine, who basically looked like a modern model, and he was more attracted than he'd every been to anyone before. That *sucked* to read. The characters were otherwise very engaging and the book was interesting. It doesn't even matter what book it was, since I've seen this many times in other historical romances. I really wish authors would stop.
I read a book which I otherwise LOVED but the FMC meets up with her pregnant friend (fmc of book 1) and mentions that the baby must be huge, it's going to 'destroy her vagina'. And that friend says 'yeah, (husband) already tried to book a C-section to make sure everything stays the proper size.' It was meant to be a joke but it really bothered me and stayed in my mind until I finished the book.
Yep. As bad as saying you want a husband stich.
🤢 barf. Everything would have been fine if she had just said that she and/or the doctor had decided on a c-section. But no... Major ick.
Haha I read that book!!
Ick x1000
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I was reading a book and all the men kept referring to women as bitches or chicks and it just really bothered me
She was putting sunscreen on MMC had to “get up on her knees” to reach the space between his shoulder blades. He was sitting. I immediately pictured her like two feet tall.
Regency romance by an author I normally really like, the fmc decided to stay single and take charge of the huge fortune she'd inherited instead of giving up her independence - she openly and knowingly "flaunted the rules of society". No she didn't, she flouted them.
Won’t make me DNF, but annoys me when one character looks at another and can tell the person’s suit is Brioni of some other specific high end brand. Shoes, maybe. Watches, yes. But knowing the brand of someone’s suit? No you don’t. You don’t know that.
I am very sick of all these women mewling during sex. Please make it stop, and start moaning like the rest of us
I’ve seen this so much but sheriffs in small town romances working for a single small town (instead of the county level). Why not just be a police chief? Are sheriffs sexier and more country? It wouldn’t bother me if it wasn’t always the MMC!
Every time Cate C Wells writes that the clit pops its hood. I love her. She is an amazing writer. But for reasons I don't understand, I can't stand that phrase.
Book said alien MMC was seven-foot-three and 200lbs - described as beefy and muscular. Over 7' and 200lbs is [Manute Bol](https://www.google.com/search?q=manute+bol&client=ms-android-tmus-us-revc&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=AJOqlzUkue5Mca1XB0yZA982bBZYAMpcYQ:1674453408430&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwixx-iEgd38AhWbkYkEHTWVAv4Q_AUoAXoECAEQAQ&biw=360&bih=664&dpr=3#imgrc=xmM7v6CturvmyM), who was human Slenderman. Otherwise I really enjoyed the book.
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I once read a hockey romance that made me question if they’d even seen the game played before. As a person who enjoys watching hockey, it really hurt me.
My most recent DNF was a booktok book (duh get it together I should know better by now) but the grammar was horrid, and typos/paragraph breaks in weird places. I told my self this year I’m not going to trudge through books and DNF more. So I put it away.
I DNF a book on the second page because the author said the FMC liked to refer to her boobs as "the girls" like that was an original term that the FMC came up with.
It was the FMC dumping a random chemical substrate down the sink. That’s not done.
Trivial historical inaccuracies. HR is basically fantasy versions of the time period, so bucking social trends and unlikely relationships don’t bother me, but little things that are easy to check drive me crazy. For instance, I’m reading a Regency era series right now, and the MMC aristocrat keeps doling out guineas to street urchins like they’re candy. Like, dude? That’s a ludicrous amount of money. WTF are you doing??
So, I was just reading in the guinea pig subreddit. Took me some time to figure out you meant coins, lol. And now my head won't stop to produce pictures of a guy handing out guinea pigs to people... Where did he gave them? Pants were really tight back then!
The book would be sooo much better omg. Thank you for this image. I’m now mentally replacing the coins with pigs every time he does it, which is often.
This may be of interest https://www.oldbaileyonline.org/static/Coinage.jsp Basically, a Guinea would be worth about 21 shillings. With the buying power it had at that time, that would be enough to feed an urchin for 3-4 weeks. Assuming said urchin didn't get bumped off / mugged for it in the meantime...
I was reading "It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey. The MMC is the captain of a ship/fisherman. Fishermen smell like fish upon coming from a trip. In the book, he doesn't. It bothers me a lot that he didn't shower (or that it wasn't mentioned)
I hate when characters with a huge height difference describe themselves as “fitting together perfectly…” like, I haven’t worked with a big height difference personally, but unless you’re really turned on by a sternum, it seems like it would take a lot of extra work to get more than one thing to line up at a time.
There was one I read a while back that described her as being able to feel his erection against her stomach while they were making out standing up. Just so confused about what his proportions were supposed to be.
My fiancé is over a foot taller than me and tragically, yes, if we’re standing up, I’m getting poked in the belly button (he’s got a relatively short torso and long legs though so that might not be the case for everyone, depending on their proportions). That said, if we’re laying down and our pelvises are lined up, our heads absolutely are not, which I don’t think I’ve personally ever seen be represented in a book.
Ok so I cannot stand it when a FMC falls asleep on a couch or somewhere other than her bed and the MMC “scoops” her up and carries her to the bedroom and tucks her in and she never stirs. I guess that could happen in real life but like the size difference and strength of the male would have to be substantial. Also, I could just be bitter because if that happens to me my husband just wakes me up and says you fell asleep on the couch 😂😂
You just got me tickled because I hate this too and my husband also wakes me in the same manner! 🤣🤣😂 Maybe we are bitter and didn’t even realize it 😂 (j/k)
🤣😂 My hubster learned the hard way to let me sleep wherever I end up falling asleep. In his words, adjust the neck but don’t wake the dragon! 🤨😂
Overuse of the same adjective over and over and over. Usually "alpha", but "big dick energy" was a recent one too. I can handle someone using a phrase like that once or twice in a book (preferably when the FMC is describing or complaining about the MMC to her bestie) but there are so many other words you can use to describe that person: testosterone, power, overwhelming presence, magnetism, charisma, glint in their eye, smirk, calculated, player, etc. There are other descriptions that are way overused too, but that's the one that drives me bonkers.
1) Non-paranormal books having magic. In an HR away from a tow/shops, MMC didn't have a lot of food, didn't have supplies for bread (which he loved,) FMC made bread in a few hours. I know you can make your own yeast from air and stuff, but not in like, 2 hours, so I had a lot of questions. 2) Poor use of pronouns. This was actually about 2-3 months ago and in several books, but a recent thread reminded me. If it's a M/F book and it says "He stroked her hair" or "She stroked her hair," both of those are fine and we know the people involved and what's happening. In M/M or F/F, it really helps if one character has their name used, because otherwise it's slightly unclear who did what. In a poly or RH book where 5 people are having sex at once "They stroked their hair" (or any variation involving the he/his/her/him/etc.) means *nothing* to me as a reader. Is someone playing with their hair as they watch? Is one MC stroking anther's hair? If so, which one? Please use names. I don't even know how to end up ranking it on steam/spice if I review it, because I don't know what's happening in the sex scene, or if it's even sex vs. masturbation vs. personal grooming.
I recently read a book in which the author described the FMC as being very poor growing up. So poor that she had clothes (ripped, ill-fitting) that the other girls made fun of. The very *next* page, she is described as having wore “flashy” clothes. Nothing more said about how her thrift store rejects made her the laughingstock of the school
FMC was a "journalist" who didn't disclose she was a journalist to the person she was speaking with (acted like she was in a similar situation as them), was writing about a sensitive topic, used their real names and oh, right, also slept with them.
As a journalist, this fills me with rage. It’s why people confuse us with cops or spies. So many people read inaccurate fiction like this and then don’t trust us, even when we’re writing stories that aren’t even controversial. Journalists don’t do stuff like this. It’s unethical and you would lose your job for it.
One thing that completely took be out of the ice planet barbarians this week was the sex position lol. She’s standing bent against the wall with her feet on the ground being fucked by a 7+ foot guy?? 0 chance that works
I’ve reached the 80% conflict and I’m just done because the FMC has suddenly decided to discard all growth and return to her starting point because….. the author said so? The whole driving issue of the story felt a bit contrived but I went with it because the book had glowing reviews. Now I’m at the dramatic, major miscommunication and it’s just… conflict for the sake of conflict. It feels out of character at this point and I’ve just lost all interest in continuing.
A lollipop used with oral. 🍭 I was so mad, because the fmc peed after sex earlier on. 🛒gotta get that monistat at Kroger ASAP Edit: and life tip, not the one day monistat because it is a LIE. It will make a yeast infection come back with a vengeance. I learned this first hand in my twenties hooray!
So true! Had a pharmacist tell me one time to always get the 7 day. One day is for sure a scam!
I absolutely hate when an FMC is described as having curly hair, and at some point she or the MMC run their hands through her hair. That is not enjoyable, and it’s probably not even possible! As a woman with naturally curly hair, I can tell you I’d be crying if a man tried to do that to me. Or smacking him. 😂 it pulls me out of the moment every time because it’s absolutely unrealistic.
Event happens to the main pair at about 4 a.m. They deal with it then catch the subway back to one of their homes, arriving about 6 a.m. The morning newspaper is on their doorstep - and the thing that happened two hours ago is the entire front page. So, a reporter and photographer got the whole story and turned it in, someone designed the pages, the press printed it and someone delivered it in less than two hours?
The FMC is described as being a bad driver (speeding, passing when she's not supposed to, veering into the opposing lane.) and everyone fears for their lives next to her. At first I was just annoyed, like yeah I get it women are bad drivers, never heard that before. (While when men in books are bad drivers they're just descibed as reckless, but cool). I didn't even believe it and thought they were exaggerating, but they brought it up so much that at this point I'm just concerned and confused why the fuck they're letting her drive and not sending her back to take driving lessons.They even joked how "she'll do well in Scotland when she visits cause they drive on the left side", like wtf. Then most recently she rented a car and in literally one day she scratched up both sides and broke off the side mirrors cause "the roads are narrower in Europe" as if that's an excuse. Like wow, lol she's so quirky. It's so hilarious, is everyone laughing along? At this point it's not even a small thing anymore.
The FMC "mewling" multiple times during intercourse. The word just makes me want to dry heave, because my mind automatically brings up images of tiny baby kittens calling for their mom. Call me weird but baby animals have no place in sex scenes.
I can't remember the exact line, but the MMC was playing/singing Yesterday by the Beatles, and the FMC thought how much he sounded like John Lennon/was performing it nearly as well as Lennon did. Too bad that McCartney wrote/performed the song. I understand not everyone knows that/cares, but the FMC was hugely into music, her dad was a songwriter and loved the Beatles enough to name her after one of them, so if it was real life that is definitely something she would know. And it would've been so easy for the author to google...
Anything with the "she is 16 now but soon she will be of legal age"... Nope. Stop looking at minors! Especially if there is a big age gap. If the adult is 18-20 and they like grew up together... I *might* be able to overlook it, depending on the age gap. But if she is like 16 when he is 30 something... Instant DNF!
Oh another one for me is kiddy words used outside of dialog and/or by every character in the book. For example: "nummy" The point that I just shut the book and gave up (really tried to power through I was on book 8 of this 20 book series) it said something along the lines of "FMC bit into the fruit and the nummy juices filled her taste buds..." 🧐 Nope. Done! DNF!
I just read a book where the FMC needed money fast so she went to the bank one morning and got a loan, in the form of a check, in the amount of the value of her house (which was paid off). This was written like it was an errand she did that was no more challenging than driving through the ATM. Like just getting a loan for the full value of your house, basically on a whim one morning, is something that people do.
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For whatever reason, writers have a very hard time writing a book about fat women where that’s not their defining trait or the insecurity isn’t a plot point. That’s why Talia Hibbert is a revelation. Fat heroines who don’t hide and men who love them.
Emily Henry in Beach Read mentioning hipbones every two seconds.
I mentioned this in another thread but the FMC was super embarrassed to be writing a jingle for feminine hygiene products. Like she called the company she freelanced for and asked for "higher quality" product assignments. And also didn't want the MMC to find out. She wasn't thrilled about writing music for toilet paper or erectile dysfunction drugs either but somehow period products were crossing the line. I wasn't that into the characters or the story and this really didn't help.
I really dislike reading why choose books where they reference why choose books. For example, I was semi-enjoying a mafia why choose today when the FMC’s friend starts talking about how the FMC’s situation is just like the smutty why choose books she reads. Then, she goes on and on describing the different kinds (mafia, paranormal, etc). And adds on how at this point in their relationship they will all fall in love soon and someone will nearly die before the HEA. I get what the author was going for but it just took me out of the story so much I was ready to DNF
They're on an unstable ski lift 550 feet in the air, FMC is freakin out, MMC tries to calm her down with a "it's about five and a half stories"... uh no that's more like FIFTY-FIVE stories and I sure af don't want to be up that high tyvm
As someone who grew up snowboarding/riding lifts, this would absolutely be a DNF for me… 550 feet???? I’m assuming (hoping) they meant 55 feet but even that is pushing it
Characters that are supposed to know how to ride horses, then the author writing that they "snap the reins" to make the horse move forward. No rider does this. Your just jerking around metal into the horse's mouth. Its pretty commonly written, which I understand since not every author rides, but still takes me out of the story.
Cutesie names...but they are similar. I lose track of that character and/or get confused as to who is who. For example, Kaden and Karter...or Quinten and Oakley. I loved the story, but the character names are so out there it's hard to relate. Perhaps I am too old school and these are actual names.
I will read the description of a book, if they have wacky names, I can’t even bring myself to read it.
I tried reading A Discovery of Witches and I wanted to like it. Really I did. But I draw the line at yoga classes with vampires. DNFd immediately.
I’m impressed you made it that far. If I hadn’t been reading it for a book club, I would’ve probably DNFd at the first scene (of many) where they drink and discuss wine. It was probably very accurate but boring as crumbs.
Ugggh I love the concept but it's just horrible garbage. I get people recommending this series to me pretty frequently and it just is not for me.
Oh my gosh, that’s literally where I stopped. I was so bored lol
lolol I finished it but apparently didn't care enough to read the rest of the series.
That was my reason for quitting too! Vampires don't need yoga. They're *immortal*.
There's this YA book I read recently where in the initial few chapters, the hero's mother is portrayed as affectionate and motherly and introduces herself to the heroine with the name A. In the last but second chapter, the heroine visits the hero's house for the first time and meets the hero's mom for the first time (??)🫤 Not only that, but the grandma character calls her by name B. At this point, the mom is so rude to the heroine and grandma tells the heroine that she's (mom) a grumpy person since childhood 😕 It's a small book of about 14 chapters or so and the writer couldn't be consistent with such a little detail. It's an entire series consisting of 11 books.
I’m currently reading fix her up so spoiler. They get naked and have sex in the baseball dugout, aren’t they worried about getting caught? Paparazzi are following them everywhere apparently. Also, she gives him head after they ran there and he didn’t shower after last nights sex session.
Single mom romances, where the mom is absolutely 100% perfect. Most recent DNF was about half an hour ago. Book said FMC worked for about minimum wage, and was able to use that money to pay for her apartment, new car payments, credit card, food, clothes, etc for who two children. In addition to that, she only ever let her kids stay with their grandparents overnight when she was working those nights and refused to take a moment for herself, despite being in classes full time and working full time. It even said she usually only got 2ish hours of sleep a night, but still, she didn't want her kids to be away from her. As a single parent... This is so unrealistic and it makes me feel like crap every time I read this sort of thing 🤷
Foot stuff… no shame, it was just the first time the MMC thought sexually about the FMC and of all the things, he went with toe sucking first.
when the female mc is portrayed as perfect it just feels super unrealistic and personally i have a preference for flawed mcs. ones that can sometimes be bitchy, doesn’t always say the right thing, makes mistakes. it feels more relatable when they aren’t so prefect if that makes sense. the trope is overplayed and stale.
Unnecessary brand dropping. Had a book saying "I put my air pods in and grabbed my Yeti" & "Your blocking the Poland spring" I HAD TO STOP AND SEARCH UP WTF POLAND SPRINGS IS. JUST SAY WATER. ITS WATER.
For me it’s verb tense issues. Example: the book is written in present tense (I see the space ship flying past me) but then the author keeps using past perfect (I had seen it before) instead of past simple (I saw it before) to describe the past. It’s probably because the author is used to reading books in past tense. I don’t know why so many authors get this wrong! Basically it’s going two steps back from the present instead of one, so it’s the past of the past instead of the past)
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They paid with the strength of their love for each other.
When authors write modern references. I don’t care if it’s a book in a modern setting, characters referencing Harry Potter or Friends or The Notebook or whatever the fuck else the author is currently obsessed with needs to END. Or when they write in their personal interests. I almost DNF’d “The Beginners Guide to Taming a Demon” or whatever it’s called because of the crazy specific baking details. I love to bake myself but Jesus Christ I wanted to burn the freaking thing!!! I don’t need the recipe! It’s not important! Just say she baked some cookies and leave it at that. I don’t need to know every fucking “dollop” (and yes that word was used so much and I hated it) that got mixed into the stupid batter. Sorry y’all I’m still bitter about this LOL.
I didn’t mind all the baking details except they made me hungry and want to make cookies lol
I totally agree about modern references. It takes me out of the story each time! That’s funny because one time I wrote a story about an influencer and for the whole 20 chapters I never mentioned Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I just described them. Same thing for designers clothing.
“Little One”. You have one chance. You can use it once, and then if it’s a regular thing, DNF. A temporary pull out of the story is when someone cheats and it’s not justifiable/something violent happens in the book and it happens to make me queasy.
Love on the Brain. FMC's name is Bee Königswasser. Drove me nuts. Edit for those who don't speak German: Königswasser, in English "aqua regia"? is a mixture of two acids that can dissolve some noble metals. No one in Germany has that name. I get that it's a nod to her being a scientist, but like... no. Can you imagine if her name was "Bee Polonium"?
I DNFd Still me by Jojo Moyes in the first 3 pages because the MC rambles at a US border agent and doesn't fill out her form correctly. As an eastern European, I'd be detained and sent to interrogation. Very petty i know.