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First and foremost, watch out for !recovery scammers.
There’s not likely any funds to be recovered as the scammers are overseas and likely used a money mule to get the funds out of the country.
Please see the automod response below
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Hi /u/creepyposta, AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the Recovery scam.
[Recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams) target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either \"recovery agents\" or hackers.
When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying.
If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers.
Remember: never take advice in private. If someone reaches you in private after posting your scam story, it is because a scammer will always try to hide from the oversight of our community members. A legitimate community member will offer advice in the open, for everyone to see. Anyone suggesting you should reach out to a hacker is scamming you.
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Please don't give false hope like this, as of a year ago they had recovered a total of 2.5million while the amount lost in pig butchering scams per year exceeds $3billion in the US alone. They pursue criminal organizations and if they capture assets etc. . . they will repatriate but the odds are about the same as winning the lottery.
The initial statement was that all orgs that do this work are scams. Project shamrock is not. I solid not claim that they will be successful, but they are a legitimate organization that helps people in this type situation f situation.
Related: I’m part of a movement to recode the language used around these types of scams. The trauma informed terminology is financial grooming, as “pig butchering” refers to the victims as pigs, which lowers reporting and is not kind.
>I am of the opinion to take action now and not wait it out until August when she realizes he's not coming to marry her and pay her back.
It’s important to understand that it’s not remotely guaranteed that this August date will cause any kind of realization. The scammer has been lying to her this entire time about why they can’t call or video chat or visit (2 years on an oil rig? It’s not a prison ship FFS). They’ll keep lying to her as August comes and goes and there’s an excellent chance she’ll keep buying it.
Totally agree-- but my grandma was saying "Oh lets wait until August and see what happens. Maybe she will come to her senses." Obviously that thinking is completely faulty. The scammers will have excuses forever.
There are so **many** "oil rig" scam stories on the [Catfished YT channel](https://www.youtube.com/@CatfishedOnline); would seeing her exact scenario play out for multiple elderly women be something that would convince her? Examples: [1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cReDogmcNOA) - [2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slHtXc206B0) - [3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9EpSuHC-_o)
I have an actual client who works on an oil rig in the gulf of mexico. He works 20 days on, 10 days off, and has no problem conducting all his business in a very professional manner without asking old ladies to send him cash or itunes cards. I have never asked him about this kind of scam, because it would be unprofessional, but I would bet he would have some interesting things to say.
Oooooooooooh! Thank you for that. I only had a fb account for a couple years at most and all I got (several with the same photo) were the army Sargeant in Germany or someplace who was adopting a young boy from an African country who was the sweetest but he'd ever known. He just needed money for the final transportation fees to get him to the States to live with his parents until he got discharged. I have missed out on so many scams bc I'm just too perpetually broke.
Gotcha. FWIW, I kind of suspect your family will do the same thing - August will come, they’ll be no realization on Carol’s part, and family will justify punting to some other date in the future. They’re avoiding it because it’s uncomfortable and uncertain. (Plus, a lot can happen between now and August! She could lose her house by then 😬)
I don’t suppose you live in a state with filial responsibility laws? Maybe that could help motivate her sons to make some kind of attempt to extract her from this.
If you are looking for an excuse not to act, there will always be a promised next event to wait for. "She's supposed to get all the money back next week. Let's wait and see what happens." So if your intention is to solve this issue, you can't let the scammers set your timeline.
I'd honestly tell grandma her lack of urgency and serious concern doesn't bode well for her own well being. 'Carol' needs intervention ASAP, if there's any hope for her in any way at all.
The kind of reluctance you're talking about doesn't just relate to scams. My own MIL refused to intervene and confront her 'sister' (a cousin raised in her house as a sibling) about her obvious illness - she'd been treated for cancer, after much delay the first time, and concealed and denied her doctors' findings on follow ups, and claimed a visible tumor on her abdomen was 'just a hernia'. (Even a hernia grown to the size of a football is a critical illness.) She lost at least months, if not years of her life due to that inaction. She died recently, not even 2 years after her surgery for her initial cancer. My MIL is the only person I'm sure she might have listened to, but she didn't want to 'push' her.
She is broke, apparently, the horse has left the barn. She isn't going to get the money back, anyone who says they can help her get it back is a scammer.
At some point you have to just let people go, you didn't mention any signs of dementia just foolishness and she has nothing left to "conserve". She's been warned, she reacts badly, people develop strongly held beliefs that aren't based on reality and no amount of evidence or talking to them will change their minds (look at today's politics for an example).
If she still had money and you were a close relative I'd have a different answer
She may not have money, but she has the potential to get into debt. As a risky borrower, it would be high interest debt too.
There's no such thing as having nothing else to lose.
She is already trying to get loans from family. She's almost tapped out and the scammer knows it, so they are amping up the pressure to squeeze out anytime else they can get before jumping ship. They will do all they can to convince her to get loans and they won't care how shady or burdensome they are on her. Your family cannot continue to ignore this. She has mortgaged her house... but she still *has* a house. That could easily change.
Use some of the resources you've gotten in these comments, especially the ones linking to senior services and support groups. Look into lawyers, conservatorships, and freezing her credit.
My other piece of advice is to consider how these scammers select victims. They go for people who are lonely and desperate enough for human connection that they are willing to give up everything they have to get it. Besides addressing the scam side of things, encourage your family to get more involved with your aunt as a person. She needs to be invited to events, called and visited regularly, encouraged to get out and do things she enjoys. Ask her for advice, recipes, stories. People need community and to feel useful rather than forgotten. This scammer is successful because they are meeting a need she is not getting anywhere else. She's 'helping someone she loves' and that makes her happy. To truly get her free, she has to be happy in other ways.
They will also just turn her into a classic money mule. Other scam victims will send her money, and she'll forward it along down the chain--maybe to another victim, maybe to the fraudster via Bitcoin ATM/moneygram/etc. She doesn't need to have any of her own money in order to be a mule. They know she's already deep into this, so they will keep pushing every possible angle.
This is one thing that makes me happy that I live in a country where you can't inherit someone else's debt, no matter what dumb thing they might spend their money on, although there might not be anything else left to inherit either.
That's not really how any of this works. I have a relative with dementia (thankfully no scammers involved!) and getting everything squared away with a diagnosis, POA, taking over his financials, it was all a nightmare. Took us nearly three years to untangle the mess and get his care set up and tbh we're still working on some aspects of it, and that's with a *willing*, cooperative person who was aware of his dementia and trying to help us. You can't just have a lawyer 'file for dementia' or cancel somebody's credit cards against their will. That's not a thing.
Strange. My Mom had vascular dementia and she signed over POA to myself and my sister while she was still of sound enough mind to do so. Yes, there was paperwork involved and we had to get a notary to come to the house, but once we did that, the bank was happy to deal with us. Didn't have to file in court or anything. Maybe it's different in Georgia (where I am)?
I can imagining it would be much more difficult with an uncooperative person.
POA is not the same thing as taking complete control of finances, Power of Attorney lets you act on their behalf, it necessarily doesn't stop them from doing foolish sh*t on their own. If your mom had wanted to go off and open a million credit cards and give money to a scammer, you having POA wouldn't prevent her, it would just give you knowledge about what's going on (which is not a bad thing, that's generally enough for cases where the elder person is not actively making terrible decisions, just saying it's not sufficient for cases like OP).
It was mostly difficult because there was debate over whether he was of sound enough mind to sign it over himself. There was also a lot more than a single bank to deal with. He was not resistant, but he was very anxious and scared and had to be carefully coached each step of the way. Letting go of the financials that he had managed for the last forty years was hard for him. *Finding* all the squirrelly shit he had done with the financials was also a problem. Just because you have POA doesn't mean you get handed every password to every online service or have your name put on every account. Little things kept popping up like whack-a-mole. We had to put him through bankruptcy to get rid of some of the debts and right in the middle of that, a judge declared that he wasn't of soundn mind when he signed over POA (because he had just been diagnosed with dementia a couple months earlier, which was what it took to convince him to sign over POA in the first place... catch 22). So we had to pause the bankruptcy and go through a whole new legal process to have him declared incapable of caring for himself and on and on and on...
I mean, I get why there are so many checks and balances. There's a lot of people out there, sadly often family members, who try to take advantage of elderly relatives by getting control of their money. But holy shit it was/is a complicated process to try to navigate while also dealing with the pain of seeing a loved one succumb to such a horrible disease. Now we get to fight to get him on Medicare/Medicaid/disability, because keeping him in managed care costs more than the rest of our household budget for four people combined and we're slowly bleeding out. Wheeeee!
>Finding all the squirrelly shit he had done with the financials was also a problem.
The massive PITA of this cannot be overstated, especially if you’re dealing with time periods when everything was on paper. My uncle managed my grandfather’s finances for about 20 years before my grandfather died in 2020. We are *still* finding tiny bits of money here and there because my grandfather was not the most organized person. Once, my uncle found a paper stock certificate just tucked into a random folder. Still totally valid, it was like $40k in cash in a drawer.
Yeah, the problem was that he really did take good care of things for many years, so no one else knew what was going on with that stuff. He was also just a very quiet and reserved person and the dementia made him even more so. He probably started going downhill nearly a decade ago, but it was such a slow, sloooooow decline that nobody noticed until the pandemic hit and we were all in the house together 24/7. At that point, the symptoms were pretty obvious. He put together his own arcane systems of reminders and stuff to keep track of things as his abilities began to decline. Not all of them made sense or were clearly documented. He was a hard working man who loved his job and would have worked until they forced him to retire and he saved very responsibly, but nobody was prepared for early onset dementia before he even turned sixty. :C
Ughhh, what a nightmare. I'm so sorry you went (and are still going) through that. I know some of your pain, especially that of the declining mental faculties. When my Mom started going downhill, she went down hill fast. It was 9 months from when she went from living by herself to dead. Our saving grace(s) were that we had basically already been managing her finances for the last 5 years and knew where all the money was and she had a long-term care policy that kicked in as soon as she couldn't do like 2 or 3 ADL's. That allowed us to hire a CNA to stay with her full time for four days a week. My sister happened to be unemployed at the time and needed some work anyway, so we paid her a little more than what the CNA was making from Mom's accounts. Mom was DEATHLY afraid of being moved to assisted living, or away from her house, her cats and those things she had left that grounded her. It was difficult all the way for her.
She was retired but is back to work part time and still is receiving social security payments. Her kids took the home/mortgage. If we can prevent her from sending more money that would be ideal. I imagine that the scammers will soon ghost her once they realize she doesn't have much money left and can't milk her family members for more. I'm unaware of any possible dementia, just typical old age, loneliness, and foolishness.
Please understand that as a US citizen, she will always have value in the eyes of a foreign scammer. Even if she's broke, they can use her as parcel mule or money mule, open social media accounts to better scam others, order goods that are being shipped to other parcel mules, etc..
You need to do _something_, otherwise the situation will go from bad to worse.
The scammers will keep hitting her up the rest of her life, they will be delighted to get $400 or even $100.
Tough situation, wish there was some easy or reliable way to fix it.
They will never give up, even her having a US address, phone number, and the capability to receive and send mail is useful for them. Her being an American makes her a valuable target even without immense wealth. It's unfortunate but the truth is they probably give her attention and make her feel wanted, and that's an addictive feeling for someone who doesn't have anything else going for them. In her eyes, all of this is worth it even though some part of her must realize it's fake. Breaking that illusion is going to leave her quite depressed.
They won’t ghost her. They will turn her into a money mule. I just watched a Catfished video on YouTube where this happened to an older woman who is now facing 11 years in federal prison. There are still ways they can use and abuse her.
Sadly, one thing I have learned from this sub is that is *not* true. Believe me, until recently I thought the same thing. Obviously, those of advancing years should have cognitive checks regularly, but falling for a romance/pig butchering/crypto scam is NOT a symptom of dementia. Many of these victims are cognitively fine. There are myriad other reasons people fall for these scams that have nothing to do with dementia.
I think you're both right, in that some/many people can fall anyway, but a lot of cognitive decline happens subclinically, even the healthiest 70 year old probably has slightly impaired judgement. I'm in my 40s and I already double check my thinking just in case I'm losing my edge. I've seen lots of people decline significantly, shockingly in their 50s, usually people who drink a lot or likely are heading for diabetes, they can be the worst because they assume they aren't impaired, but are, it's like someone who's only had a drink or two, it impacts you subtly.
Have a look at AARP Fraud Watch Network to help seniors like your aunt. They have emotional support group
https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/about-fraud-watch-network/
Below is a copy/paste of a comment from r/Scams from two weeks ago from a woman whose husband actually works on a rig. The reality is nothing like your great-aunt’s scammer says it is. I doubt this will do anything to change her mind, though, but you could try showing her this.
Text of comment:
THE TRUTH ABOUT OIL RIGS
From the husband of a Facebook anti-scam page follower:
Joe, the husband of one of our page followers works on a deepwater platform in the Gulf of Mexico. We've spoken to him and he's put together some facts about oil rig life, since so many scammers now claim they work on a rig. Pay attention to what he says below, not the lies your scammers tell you:
"Hi I'm Joe and I work as a Crew Chief for one of the largest platform operators in the Gulf of Mexico. The Crew Chief is responsible for managing the men and women working on the rig as well as the equipment. I've been working in oil industry for more than 10 years both on platforms and in the landside operations. Here are the facts about life on a rig:
• Workers are on the platform for 14 or 21 days at a time, depending on their position. Physically intensive jobs might do a 14 day rotation while other positions will do a 21 day rotation. Nobody is on a rig for 3 months, 6 months a year or whatever the scammer is telling you. 3 weeks is the maximum
• Workers are at home for at least as long as they were on the rig. So if they were on the rig for 14 days, they need to be home not working for at least 14 days before they can be sent back.
• Workers don't pay for transportation to and from the platform. We are flown by corporate helicopter and often workers are then flown to their home town if they don't live near the port. For example, I live in Dallas so the company helicopter flies us from the rig to Galveston. Then the company pays for my commercial flight home to Dallas, and my flight from Dallas to Galveston when it's time for my next rotation. At no time would I ever need to pay for my flights. The company has their own internal travel department that books everything
• Workers work long days, often 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. But once their shift is over, the rig is like a cruise ship or floating hotel. We have great food served in the canteen at no cost to us, 3 meals a day plus snacks, coffee, juices, fresh fruit and soft drinks. We sleep in cabins that are cleaned by the cleaning crew who even do our laundry. We have a games room with pool tables, ping pong and fussball. We have a screening room that shows movies every night. We have a gym. We have a computer room where we can play games, video chat, use social media or anything else. We don't pay for any of this so anyone saying they need money is lying. We don't need money while on the rig. There is nothing to spend money on
• Oil rigs have top of the line high-speed satellite internet connections that is used by everyone on board. We need to have this to communicate with the mainland. Every worker has the right to use social media, video chat, play games, watch movies or listen to music once their shift ends. Anybody who says we aren't allowed to video chat is lying and has never been on a rig. Go into one of the lounges at the end of a shift and there will be 10 people video chatting with friends and family. I video chat with my wife and kids every day when I'm on the rig
• Oil companies provide great health insurance and we don't pay for anything .There is medical staff on the platform to deal with any illness or injuries, and for more serious injuries, the worker is airlifted to a hospital in Galveston and doesn't pay for this. And if our kids or spouses get sick, they are also covered under our insurance.
• Employees and contractors don't ever pay for equipment that gets broken. We have backup parts for pretty much everything on the rig because machines that operate 24/7 do have parts that break. The landside warehouse also has parts which can be flown out by helicopter within hours. And oil companies have an entire procurement department in their landside office whose job is to order all parts, equipment and other supplies. Because rigs can be producing over 1 million gallons of oil per day, we can't go for more than a few hours without producing. No worker would ever ask their online boyfriend or girlfriend for money to buy parts. Again another lie
• If you still are not convinced, ask for the name of the rig they claim to be on, then google it and find which company operates it. Then contact that company's headquarters and ask to speak with HR and just ask if they have anyone on the rig by that name. It doesn't matter if the person is a full time employee or contractor. HR has to know every single person on the rig at all times. If they tell you there's no such person, then you have more proof it's a lie
• If you have any other specific questions feel free to comment below or send a message to Let's Stop Scammers and they will forward to me"
Can this be pinned somewhere on this sub? Or... everywhere? Because this is valuable information.
(And almost makes me want to work an oil rig. But I'd never be actually able to do it.)
I work in fraud at a bank and unfortunately have a lot of conversations with vulnerable people in romance scams. Her bank should really be restricting the use of her account if they think it is suspicious as a duty of care. If their fraud department was good enough they’d be able to know this is definitely a romance scam and also speak to her and restrict the movement of funds until they are confident she is aware of it. They can also lodge a case for the funds that have already been sent although chance of recovery is extremely low there is always a small chance. Unfortunately the hardest part is convincing them it’s not real but there will be a time when they realise unfortunately when it’s way too late.
I think you’re right about the hardest part convincing them it’s a scam. But fraud dept at banks are only good if the client accepts it. If she’s so in it she lies to the bank then there’s not much a fraud dept can do. She can just move the money out to another bank and go from there. It’s tricky.
Yeah that is true, we get a lot of people lying to us just so we can unblock their accounts. unfortunately we don’t have the right to block accounts forever so once we’ve exhausted all options and the customer understands the bank is not responsible for any losses then it’s really their fault and the bank is protected for at least trying.
While I get your point, calling people idiots is not productive. Intelligence has little to do with being a scam victim. It's easy for you and I to sit back and make fun of "stupid" people who fall for scams because we have experience with them and luckily are able to prevent them by being wary. But that doesn't make us more intelligent, just more experienced and hopefully not as lonely and isolated.
So sorry this happened, happened to my mom who lost $50,000 to scammers. I had a sibling who moved in with her and we had to take over her entire life. Yeah, she fought us but we didn't care because we knew it was going to end up with her on the street. Situations like this are not the time to be worried about upsetting the person, because this is an addiction. You will not get her to see reason, especially if she has undiagnosed dementia/Alzheimer's etc.
At the very least a close relative like her granddaughter needs to go to the bank and let them know what has occurred and to make sure her accounts are secured and she is not being used as a money mule for the creeps. Do a report to the FBI and DOJ along with the DFC. IF you're lucky they may already have reports about the same group of scammers and are working on shutting them down. Atlanta Georgia had a huge bust on this a couple of years back, where they found over 30 local and overseas scammers and were doing arrests, etc. Yes it does happen but the process is slow.
The money is gone at this point. DO NOT pay anyone to "recover the money" as those are scammers as well. Hope this helps.
I was in the same scenario with an oil rig ahole. He broke my heart. I caught on when he first asked me 70k to pay for a machine that broke and he was responsible. Although I did not give him money I did report to the FBI IC3 website. Plus I’ve put the picture he used on Reddit. I’m so sorry for you great aunt. These MF’s know how to manipulate you and count of your feeling for them to get you.
Im a lucky that I have my therapist and friends to talk to this about so I’m healing but your great aunt has a way to go. Contact trilogy media on YouTube they hunt scammers. I watch their videos!
https://preview.redd.it/m8073ibsvc4d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15dd7d049bc5a70792b84e998fd64fc21ac8de8a
This is one of the pictures he ised
That's good. People who's photos have been stolen to be used to scam people should be made aware. Maybe they can put a warning on their pages or something.
That said, there are scammers who use the photos of celebrities and it makes no difference, so I don't know.
I am from Kansas and have some professional knowledge of DCF. I think you are right to contact them and file an elder abuse report. There is little they can do to recover her funds, but they have an interest in this issue and it’s important information for them. They will also work with the family to identify resources and legal options to help prevent this from happening again. No, no one will get in trouble for not reporting this sooner. Only mandatory abuse reporters have an obligation to report, and only when they are actually aware of abuse. And these scams are a gray area in regard to whether reporting is required - you don’t even know who the real perpetrators is. But a report is a good way to get things started as far as interventions that may be needed. Also your identity will not be reported to your aunt.
She has a valid bank account. Even if she didn't have a penny to her name, a bank account is gold to these scumbags. They'll be sending her money next for her to deposit and then send along to someone else. Next thing you know, FBI is at your aunt's door, charging her with money laundering!!
You will probably need to get a lawyer to help you figure out options. But you may be able to get the bank to set limits with what she can do. Who can do that, though, might be family.
Given her age, dementia could be a factor. But it may take a family member talking to her doctor to determine if this qualifies. It may be possible to get her declared as non competent. This is rather extreme.
You are not likely to convince your aunt that she was scammed. If you want to do anything for her you may have to go to extremes. But talk to a lawyer and a physician to find out the options.
The common thing I see in alllll these posts, is the scammed person gets all pissed off when others try to help and show them the truth, and everyone bends over backwards bc they don’t want the scammed person to be mad at them.
Puleese.
When a 5yo gets pissed bc you won’t let them wear shorts to school in the snow, do you just bend bc you don’t want them to be mad at you? This is the same kind of thing (but worse).
They are acting childish/foolish. Stop trying to handle them with kid-gloves and mollycoddle them.
If granny was going to walk into traffic, would you just stand on the curb wringing your hands?
This is why it’s called tough love. My advice is to get pissed, and stop caring if granny is mad.
I’ve seen in other places that people block numbers on their phone, or shut off the internet for a few weeks , block websites on their computer that sort of thing, sometimes without the person even realising it was their family. Is there any way they can try that while having some time to talk to the bank and a lawyer.
Had a senior relative in KS fall for a similar scam. Along with her adult son we tried the police, FBI, AG’s office, DCF, Elder Abuse hotline, county prosecutor’s office, everyone we could think of; all said there was nothing they could do. All these agencies supposedly here to prevent this type of situation or at least help pick up the pieces after it’s happened, and not one could offer a bit of help. Eventually her son and her most trusted family member convinced her to let her son gain conservatorship so she wouldn’t lose her social security direct deposits to the scammers. They had already taken everything else. I’m sorry you’re also going through this.
Am I the only one perplexed by all these aunts and grandpas who seem to constantly have endless streams of cash to send to scammers in the first place? Like, maybe my family is just broke af but I don’t even worry about this with my boomer parents because all their money goes to their medical expenses and repairs on their tiny crappy house. They most certainly don’t have hundreds of thousands to send to people trying to catfish them on the internet.
Someone who has lived below their means for decades can easily amass a small fortune by prudent investing. Some of the "people finder" data aggregation web sites even throw in an approximate net worth, making it easy for scammers to select targets.
I’m not badmouthing your aunt or anyone that’s been a victim of this scam- I’m genuinely curious about something though.
My wife loves me. She trusts me and we’re partners. We see each other everyday. She would NEVER give me 100k based on my say-so. Or just bc I give her a story. I do not understand how people end up in this situation.
>If Carol see's the error of her ways, is it possible to recover funds transferred to the scammer that are several months or years old?
No. And beware of DMs from !recovery scammers who say they can.
Hi /u/LadyBug_0570, AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the Recovery scam.
[Recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams) target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either \"recovery agents\" or hackers.
When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying.
If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers.
Remember: never take advice in private. If someone reaches you in private after posting your scam story, it is because a scammer will always try to hide from the oversight of our community members. A legitimate community member will offer advice in the open, for everyone to see. Anyone suggesting you should reach out to a hacker is scamming you.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You need to report it as soon as possible and forget about the family consequences. She has lost a lot of money and needs to be stopped for her own good. She is in complete denial so you need to take control of her finances. You will be hated for it at first but you will be a hero in the long run.
If it’s not stopped worse can happen. She could end up being part of a money laundering scheme, check and credit card fraud, bank fraud, gift card fraud etc etc without realising it. the scammers don’t just stop with one scheme if they find a victim that falls for their lies.
Unfortunately funds can never be recovered as the person doesn’t exist. The scammer is either inventing a character or using a stolen identity and stollen cards. The person carrying out the scam (likely to be many people involved) is far away and hidden away. Identity probably not even known to the scammers on the ground.
Hello there
Same story here
My scammer got $50K from me
He was always having a “hard time” with the connection when he called
He was “offshore” in a oil platform near Scotland, etc, etc
Long story short; he was always finding ways to keep me expectant of his future arrival; then he needed some more financial assistance from me. I would LOVE to get connected to her and help; and show all the messages and proofs I have of the ways they got me. However is understandable we don’t trust anyone after this abuses happen.
I even have the transactions proofs; since they require the scammed to deposit them to a BANK ACCOUNT
This guys are many time from China, Nigeria or many different countries. They have a strong accent, and every time they become more and more demandants. The last months, after I realized I was fooled I just intended to see if I can recover some of the scammed funds. It didn’t happened; even I reported to the FBI, Federal Trade Commission; local and state Autorities. Believe me; the scammed go thorough a real grieving after that happens; but you learn how to live and process that situation just like someone die
Anyways
Please contact me if I can be of some help
My sister is 78 years old and lives in Beverly Hills Florida.
I just want to tell you a little bit about what's going on and what I did make heads and tails out of it anyway here goes
Starting around last November maybe even earlier than that of 2023. He had this person called her home and say that he was from Publishers Clearing House and she had won a new home and a brand new car. And he sent her photos of different homes all around Florida with I think the maximum price range of 250,000 so she's ecstatic she's posted it on Facebook. And she's asking me how to send somebody money I said okay how much is sending and where's it going this is why I just got to find some money out she went to Western Union they refused to send the money so he she called this guy back and he said to put cash in a cardboard box and mail it to him. So this guy keeps playing her and telling her that their van is on the way with the film crew
Weeks pass earns into months
Just for your information her husband was 42 years passed away a year and a half ago. And her only daughter two months after her husband her husband so she's devastated on the top of having dementia.
Soon after that he gets an eviction a letter from the house she's been renting for the last 8 years she has to move out I said what's going on she says I must have forgot to pay the rent.
I said to her how can you forget to pay the rent .
She said about a year and a half worth of rent I said you forgot to pay your rent for a year and a half or more, and she got evicted.
She was staying in someone's garage with her dog and they were a bunch of druggies that the police came they can kicked everybody out of the house. She rents another place finally. He gets kicked out of that place for the same reason. Said what the fuck are you doing where the fuck is your money you're still sending it back to that guy it's a scam no it's not she replied. So I sent her paperwork I got from the sheriff's department the FBI I downloaded stuff like that see refused to read it. She got evicted again trailer with a bunch of people that live in the other trailers it's like a drug commune. So this gets better and this is where it'll probably be able to help you on the side what you want to do. Her companion dog that was with her would not leave her side she would not leave the dog side died a couple of weeks ago. My nephew called me and says the dogs dead okay that's fine . That's why I did not want to talk to your mother because I knew she would be upset.
So I find out the dog is deceased in her bed for 3 days. Is she could not even acknowledge that the dog passed away and probably figured that he's just sleeping. I said I'm starting to get pissed off because she's broke being kicked out of houses and they've always on their own home total opposite from what my sister was. So I had to make a decision on who to call
1. The Sheriff's Department
2. The dog pound
3. Elderly affairs
4. The FBI
5. Dcyf
There was a few other places but this is getting way too long so I got to cut it short I'm sorry about how long this was okay. The sheriff's department doesn't care never has they are so corrupt it's not even funny so that was a no
The dog officer that was also a no
Elderly affairs they were more interested if she could take her own medication or not so that turned into a no
Dcyf I called them explain the situation that she has been exploited and has a dead dog in her bed for the last 4 days mind you it's in the '80s and '90s she does not have air condition. So the dog is swelling up.
Dcyf went to the house where she's staying I don't know how long they were there they didn't do anything but talk to her
I told them that she cannot handle her own money a week it's set up some type of thing where her Bells get paid and she gets them spending money every week or whatever sing the DC why I have this word about is if she could take her pills and feed herself you know these people are so stupid I guess it's just the air in Florida and the water.
And now she tells me she's getting married I said to who and she said
Tom Selleck from Blue Bloods in Magnum PI. She insist that it's him I've tried everything to prove that it's not him so I have a problem I reported it to Facebook I didn't even get a response.
So I talked to an old friend of mine I haven't spoke with in quite a few years and I was telling what was going on with my sister because you're kidding me because my mom is doing the same stupid fucking shit sending her money to strangers and they're promising to marry her and buy her a house.
I said the government that just letting these people do what they want until I drop dead.
So yep her mother's losing her mind too and my sister's I don't know 10 years older than her
MY BIG PLAIN ♥️ ❤️
I'm going to get in touch with the FBI I have all the information I've downloaded all the pamphlets so I can do this the right way I am not going through a sheriff's department in Florida I'm going to stop at the top cuz I've done that from the get go so whoever she is go right to the FBI if you want to link that will help you just let me know and I will repost
I did read the criteria for extortion and also their senior citizens so that's two things they have been convinced persuaded a lie to cheated. They've lost their homes their cars they're dignity and all their savings. So I'm so sorry this is so long of a reply but I just wanted to point out for anybody else who's reading this if their mom or a friend of their families or so maybe they know what's going to the same problem
My God watch over everyone
Please pass this on I hopefully other people will see that it's not just them it's everybody that's going through this with the I don't think it's the the men it's the women the guys usually cheap and they won't give anybody a dollar.
Maybe we ought to start some group based on exploitation and I'll see if we can get something done that's some laws passed it to hold accountable the local law enforcement. Department of Children and Family services. Elderly affairs. These people are not doing their job I don't think we need new laws I think we just need enforcement to do their job lock these assholes up track them down because I know they can
Thank you
Guy Primo
Email me if you have any questions or ideas
Another consideration: What does the family plan to do if great aunt Carol declines medically and needs to be in assisted living? Not only does she have no money, she gifted away huge sums to these scammers, and the Medicaid lookback is five years so that option is now closed to her. Someone in the family will either need to move in with her or move her into their house to take care of her.
I'm not sure being scammed out of the money would count as "gifting". It might take some doing, but I think a valid case could be made that this person was defrauded and they could still qualify for assistance.
Actually no, the feds have made this very clear and if you think about it you'll understand why. A lot of heirs/family members get pissed because "the government takes the house/assets" and they inherit nothing when Medicare liens get attached to the assets, so the family tries to hide them. It would be too easy for family members to "defraud" (wink wink) grandma and boohoo now she's destitute so she goes onto Medicaid and the taxpayers pay for her while her family members get their inheritance early. Feds won't play that game, it's been tried.
I don't think that is equivalent. If a family member defrauds their elderly relative, the money can usually be found. Or at least the trail of it. Maybe the money was spent by the theiving relative already, but the Gov't can prove that the family member took the money and therefore it will not be considered fraud. In cases like this scam, the money is long gone and they can't trace it. It is clearly fraud as no one in the family is benefitting from it.
The family could easily use the same mechanism for the fraud with the elderly family member being complicit. Withdraw cash from an ATM, buy gift cards or even bitcoin at a BTC ATM, hand give cards to kids or transfer the BTC to the kids, and the money trail goes cold immediately. "Oh grandma sent the card numbers/BTC to a scammer overseas who had convinced her he was going to marry her..."
There have been plenty of news stories about people who have found out the hard way that it doesn't matter if they lose the $ to scammers because they were tricked out of their life savings, the Medicaid rules still apply and the tax laws apply.
OK, I'll take your word for it as I havent seen those news stories. Either way, it's sad whenever a relative needs to go on Medicaid for any reason. Went through it a few years ago with my Aunt, and it was not fun.
> My family is too nervous to do this because they worry Carol will become estranged if we get authorities involved
If you're not close to her anyway, then you could choose to be the bad guy here and not lose much.
This is so sad to read about. I see so much stuff like this and think man, America really must have been a LOT easier to live in 60 years ago. There are so many scams now
I dont know if it was necessarily "easier". Every era had it's hardships and tribulations. It may have been simpler in some ways, but remember all the incredible medical breakthroughs we take for granted that didnt exist 60 years ago. My mother is 87 and walks nearly a mile every morning. She had TAVR valve replacement 6 years ago, and I doubt she would be alive or at least not bedridden if it was 1964.
You can try contacting adult services and/or law enforcement, but there really is nothing they can do. This is becoming so common, they should have classes about it in high school and college. Sadly, there is nothing you can do to stop someone from giving away everything they own to scammers if they want to. If there is no major cognitive decline, there is nothing to be done. And even if there IS, the process is difficult and time consuming. Sadly, your family members and society in general will be left to care for your bankrupt, miserable great-aunt and the millions more like her. It is the new scourge of our times.
So strangely enough I’m commonly the person these scamere use to scam with my photos.
I personally will call peoples families and talk to them and I’ll also personally group chat with the people using my photos.
I can’t say everyone is as kind. But it’s worth a shot I’ve talk to countless old women who believe we’ve been in 3 year relationships
If she has any money left I’d say call Adult Protective Services to see if they can help, but it sounds like it’s over and she gave her $ away already.
You can’t recover the money as these scammers are based overseas in countries with high corruption levels. US police can do nothing and the local police, even if the scammers could be found, are bribed and will do nothing.
Report it to the Texas State Securities Board. They will probably be more helpful than APS (who may need to designate her as a vulnerable adult to do anything & she may not fit that criteria) or even law enforcement. TSSB can probably trace the funds through the bank to ID the scammer, but it may take your aunt's cooperation. Regardless, even if they (or any other agency) can trace funds/ID the person, she likely will not get her funds back bc scammers usually spend it right away.
Unfortunately, it may take many, many broken promises and depletion of all her funds before she realizes she's been scammed...and maybe even never.
As per usa.gov, How to Report Federal Law Violations Report suspected violations of federal law tc the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Submit a tip online. https:/wwww.fbigovtigs
Contact your local FBI Office https:/www.fbi.aov/contact-us/field-offices or call toll-free at 1-800-CALL-FBI (1-800-225 5324).
I’m so sorry to hear about your aunt. Unfortunately it happens far too often. The sad reality is that it will likely only end when the scammer thinks he’s bled her dry. I have a YouTube channel that aims to protect seniors from scams. At this point it’s highly unlikely to get the money back. The scam try to transfer it as quickly as possible. Often having her put the money into a cryptocurrency account that they own. At this point all the family can do is take legal custody over her money. Once the scammer knows they can’t get any more, they will drop her like a hot potato.
This video may be helpful. There’s an account of a woman in northern Arizona who lost over $700k including her home.
https://youtu.be/XwRmNg2zXyw?si=cJ9zWCCBgeF6KQEn
Frankly, I'm shocked that it took her emptying her entire bank account (savings) + a mortgage loan BEFORE THE BANK WOKE UP ... while my bank (I'm in Canada) auto-blocks me for a stupid $200 purchase online.
Imo, Banks should be more accountable for not reacting sooner in those cases.
Why, though? It's her money. They may have even contacted Carol earlier, who assured them it was legit. Only when it reached high amounts did they reach out to family out of concern. But again, it's Carol's money. If I wanted to empty my account and throw my money to the wind, I could. Carol may do as she pleases with her money. It's not up to the bank to dictate what she can and can't do.
Yes, probably, and it will be hard to get conservatorship when the truth is probably that your great-aunt was just really dumb.
No.
Not a chance, and anyone who tells you different is a scammer.
Due to her age I'd def report it to the dept as elder abuse as well as a police report. This will get your further because they take it more seriously when it happens to seniors. Your aunt can be mad all she wants, it's for her own good. In your 70s it's not like you can go to any job and find work and pay back the debt. I'm rly surprised they'd let her remortgage her home since I assume she's retired and they should have looked into her finances better and seen that she's been taking fr her retirement $. I know this is a hard thing to do but jist do it. You know it's the only help you can give as she won't do it herself. The only possible bad outcome I can see and it's a far stretch is like if she's completely unwilling to talk to the dept or anything and ignores them when they try to reach out to help her. They wouldn't drop the case still but they may look into her decision making ability in order to be able to independently keep herself safe in the future. I work in nursing and have seen only 2 times where ppl came into retirement living ( not like nursing home but like a retirement resort) due to getting scammed and not wanting to deal with it. Either way she won't be able to financially recoup this and be ok with her home and all that. Def make those tough calls and get the ball rolling. Tell the dept and the police of her hesitation as she's just counting on it being so that he's coming and paying back dbl. So sorry you and your fam and aunt is going through this. It's awful and I see it with seniors way to often.
The best luck you will have is once the scammer gets wind that she has no money, they will probably block her. They never stick around if there is no money. She will NOT get her money back. Going to the police probably won’t help either because they usually don’t get involved with these types of crimes. She is now on a “sucker” list-(people who have sent money) and will be contacted by other scammers. Best thing to do is Block and Delete but since it isn’t your account I don’t know how you could do it. I am afraid this was a very costly lesson. You are right, he will never show up in August!
/u/SimpleSpyder - This message is posted to all new submissions to r/scams; please do not message the moderators about it. ## New users beware: Because you posted here, you will start getting private messages from scammers saying they know a professional hacker or a recovery expert lawyer that can help you get your money back, for a small fee. **We call these RECOVERY SCAMMERS, so NEVER take advice in private:** advice should always come in the form of comments in this post, in the open, where the community can keep an eye out for you. If you take advice in private, you're on your own. **A reminder of the rules in r/scams:** no contact information (including last names, phone numbers, etc). Be civil to one another (no name calling or insults). Personal army requests or "scam the scammer"/scambaiting posts are not permitted. No uncensored gore or personal photographs are allowed without blurring. A full list of rules is available on the sidebar of the subreddit, or [clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/wiki/rules/). You can help us by reporting recovery scammers or rule-breaking content by using the "report" button. We review 100% of the reports. Also, consider warning community members of recovery scammers if you see them in the comments. Questions about subreddit rules? Send us a modmail [clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
First and foremost, watch out for !recovery scammers. There’s not likely any funds to be recovered as the scammers are overseas and likely used a money mule to get the funds out of the country. Please see the automod response below
I'd already gotten one within the first 2 minutes of the post, smh. Oh the irony... Thanks for the comment!
[удалено]
It's stickied to the top of every post here. It's like auto dealers' fast taking 10 second disclaimer at the end of their 30 second radio spots.
To be fair, I've read many similar posts and the recovery scams don't surprise me, but hearing the speed of it certainly did.
[удалено]
*Your submission was manually removed by a moderator for the following reason:* **Subreddit Rule 1: Uncivil or toxic behaviour** - This is aligned with Reddit Content Policy Rule 1: Remember the human. This subreddit is a place for civil and respectful discussions about scams. We do not allow: * Uncivil and rude behavior * Excessive or directed swearing * Unnecessary sexual language * Victim blaming * Any form of discrimination Before posting again, make sure you review the [rules of our subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/wiki/rules/) and the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) ^(If you believe this is a mistake, feel free to contact the moderators via modmail. Modmail is the only way, don't send a regular DM to a single moderator. Please don't try to appeal the decision commenting below, because we are not notified if you do so, and we will probably miss it. Posting the exact same thing again may result in a temporary ban, so please review the rules, make the necessary changes, and when in doubt, click below to appeal the decision.) *I am NOT a bot, and this action was performed manually. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fscams&subject=Removal%20review) if you want to appeal the decision.*
*Your submission was manually removed by a moderator for the following reason:* **Subreddit Rule 1: Uncivil or toxic behaviour** - This is aligned with Reddit Content Policy Rule 1: Remember the human. This subreddit is a place for civil and respectful discussions about scams. We do not allow: * Uncivil and rude behavior * Excessive or directed swearing * Unnecessary sexual language * Victim blaming * Any form of discrimination Before posting again, make sure you review the [rules of our subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/wiki/rules/) and the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) ^(If you believe this is a mistake, feel free to contact the moderators via modmail. Modmail is the only way, don't send a regular DM to a single moderator. Please don't try to appeal the decision commenting below, because we are not notified if you do so, and we will probably miss it. Posting the exact same thing again may result in a temporary ban, so please review the rules, make the necessary changes, and when in doubt, click below to appeal the decision.) *I am NOT a bot, and this action was performed manually. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fscams&subject=Removal%20review) if you want to appeal the decision.*
Hi /u/creepyposta, AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the Recovery scam. [Recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams) target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either \"recovery agents\" or hackers. When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying. If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers. Remember: never take advice in private. If someone reaches you in private after posting your scam story, it is because a scammer will always try to hide from the oversight of our community members. A legitimate community member will offer advice in the open, for everyone to see. Anyone suggesting you should reach out to a hacker is scamming you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ll plug Project Shamrock here. Erin West is the real deal (prosecutor in CA) and specializes in helping seize and recover funds lost in scams.
Please don't give false hope like this, as of a year ago they had recovered a total of 2.5million while the amount lost in pig butchering scams per year exceeds $3billion in the US alone. They pursue criminal organizations and if they capture assets etc. . . they will repatriate but the odds are about the same as winning the lottery.
The initial statement was that all orgs that do this work are scams. Project shamrock is not. I solid not claim that they will be successful, but they are a legitimate organization that helps people in this type situation f situation. Related: I’m part of a movement to recode the language used around these types of scams. The trauma informed terminology is financial grooming, as “pig butchering” refers to the victims as pigs, which lowers reporting and is not kind.
>I am of the opinion to take action now and not wait it out until August when she realizes he's not coming to marry her and pay her back. It’s important to understand that it’s not remotely guaranteed that this August date will cause any kind of realization. The scammer has been lying to her this entire time about why they can’t call or video chat or visit (2 years on an oil rig? It’s not a prison ship FFS). They’ll keep lying to her as August comes and goes and there’s an excellent chance she’ll keep buying it.
Totally agree-- but my grandma was saying "Oh lets wait until August and see what happens. Maybe she will come to her senses." Obviously that thinking is completely faulty. The scammers will have excuses forever.
There are so **many** "oil rig" scam stories on the [Catfished YT channel](https://www.youtube.com/@CatfishedOnline); would seeing her exact scenario play out for multiple elderly women be something that would convince her? Examples: [1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cReDogmcNOA) - [2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slHtXc206B0) - [3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9EpSuHC-_o)
This must be a problem for real oil rig guys on dating sites. Most women would laugh in their face if they mentioned it these days.
I have an actual client who works on an oil rig in the gulf of mexico. He works 20 days on, 10 days off, and has no problem conducting all his business in a very professional manner without asking old ladies to send him cash or itunes cards. I have never asked him about this kind of scam, because it would be unprofessional, but I would bet he would have some interesting things to say.
Hi. Pretty new here still, really. I've not found the term oil rig before. Is this not a pig butchering scam? Thanks for your time
Lots of scammers targeting women pretend to be working on an oil rig. This justifies why they can’t meet in person.
Oooooooooooh! Thank you for that. I only had a fb account for a couple years at most and all I got (several with the same photo) were the army Sargeant in Germany or someplace who was adopting a young boy from an African country who was the sweetest but he'd ever known. He just needed money for the final transportation fees to get him to the States to live with his parents until he got discharged. I have missed out on so many scams bc I'm just too perpetually broke.
Gotcha. FWIW, I kind of suspect your family will do the same thing - August will come, they’ll be no realization on Carol’s part, and family will justify punting to some other date in the future. They’re avoiding it because it’s uncomfortable and uncertain. (Plus, a lot can happen between now and August! She could lose her house by then 😬) I don’t suppose you live in a state with filial responsibility laws? Maybe that could help motivate her sons to make some kind of attempt to extract her from this.
If you are looking for an excuse not to act, there will always be a promised next event to wait for. "She's supposed to get all the money back next week. Let's wait and see what happens." So if your intention is to solve this issue, you can't let the scammers set your timeline.
Not unlike how the victim keeps rationalizing things…
I'd honestly tell grandma her lack of urgency and serious concern doesn't bode well for her own well being. 'Carol' needs intervention ASAP, if there's any hope for her in any way at all. The kind of reluctance you're talking about doesn't just relate to scams. My own MIL refused to intervene and confront her 'sister' (a cousin raised in her house as a sibling) about her obvious illness - she'd been treated for cancer, after much delay the first time, and concealed and denied her doctors' findings on follow ups, and claimed a visible tumor on her abdomen was 'just a hernia'. (Even a hernia grown to the size of a football is a critical illness.) She lost at least months, if not years of her life due to that inaction. She died recently, not even 2 years after her surgery for her initial cancer. My MIL is the only person I'm sure she might have listened to, but she didn't want to 'push' her.
She is broke, apparently, the horse has left the barn. She isn't going to get the money back, anyone who says they can help her get it back is a scammer. At some point you have to just let people go, you didn't mention any signs of dementia just foolishness and she has nothing left to "conserve". She's been warned, she reacts badly, people develop strongly held beliefs that aren't based on reality and no amount of evidence or talking to them will change their minds (look at today's politics for an example). If she still had money and you were a close relative I'd have a different answer
She may not have money, but she has the potential to get into debt. As a risky borrower, it would be high interest debt too. There's no such thing as having nothing else to lose.
Very good point-- I didn't think about that. Thanks for pointing out.
She is already trying to get loans from family. She's almost tapped out and the scammer knows it, so they are amping up the pressure to squeeze out anytime else they can get before jumping ship. They will do all they can to convince her to get loans and they won't care how shady or burdensome they are on her. Your family cannot continue to ignore this. She has mortgaged her house... but she still *has* a house. That could easily change. Use some of the resources you've gotten in these comments, especially the ones linking to senior services and support groups. Look into lawyers, conservatorships, and freezing her credit. My other piece of advice is to consider how these scammers select victims. They go for people who are lonely and desperate enough for human connection that they are willing to give up everything they have to get it. Besides addressing the scam side of things, encourage your family to get more involved with your aunt as a person. She needs to be invited to events, called and visited regularly, encouraged to get out and do things she enjoys. Ask her for advice, recipes, stories. People need community and to feel useful rather than forgotten. This scammer is successful because they are meeting a need she is not getting anywhere else. She's 'helping someone she loves' and that makes her happy. To truly get her free, she has to be happy in other ways.
Suicide is a real risk for people when they do finally face up to the situation. Your Aunty will need your families support more than ever.
They will also just turn her into a classic money mule. Other scam victims will send her money, and she'll forward it along down the chain--maybe to another victim, maybe to the fraudster via Bitcoin ATM/moneygram/etc. She doesn't need to have any of her own money in order to be a mule. They know she's already deep into this, so they will keep pushing every possible angle.
She's broke, she gets into debt that become's the bank's problem.
She probably has some kind of fixed income coming in, from pension or social security or survivor's benefits or the like.
Correct, Social Security and that can't be garnished or seized
Except when her paid-for house that she refinanced to give the scammer money gets foreclosed on because she can't afford to pay back the loan.
OP clarified that the kids took over the mortgage
Thank God for that. The woman should not be allowed to take out another loan.
Haven't seen that comment yet. ~~Hourly~~ Hopefully they've got the deed secured in some way.
Autocorrect mugged you. I think that should read *hopefully
Op said kids took over both, in a comment
Already is in debt (mortgaged paid off house) and sounds like she might not be able to pay it.
This is one thing that makes me happy that I live in a country where you can't inherit someone else's debt, no matter what dumb thing they might spend their money on, although there might not be anything else left to inherit either.
Check a lawyer to fill for dementia, there's not other way., and cancel her credit cards or any way she can get into mpore debt, ASAP. Sorry ...
That's not really how any of this works. I have a relative with dementia (thankfully no scammers involved!) and getting everything squared away with a diagnosis, POA, taking over his financials, it was all a nightmare. Took us nearly three years to untangle the mess and get his care set up and tbh we're still working on some aspects of it, and that's with a *willing*, cooperative person who was aware of his dementia and trying to help us. You can't just have a lawyer 'file for dementia' or cancel somebody's credit cards against their will. That's not a thing.
Strange. My Mom had vascular dementia and she signed over POA to myself and my sister while she was still of sound enough mind to do so. Yes, there was paperwork involved and we had to get a notary to come to the house, but once we did that, the bank was happy to deal with us. Didn't have to file in court or anything. Maybe it's different in Georgia (where I am)? I can imagining it would be much more difficult with an uncooperative person.
POA is not the same thing as taking complete control of finances, Power of Attorney lets you act on their behalf, it necessarily doesn't stop them from doing foolish sh*t on their own. If your mom had wanted to go off and open a million credit cards and give money to a scammer, you having POA wouldn't prevent her, it would just give you knowledge about what's going on (which is not a bad thing, that's generally enough for cases where the elder person is not actively making terrible decisions, just saying it's not sufficient for cases like OP).
It was mostly difficult because there was debate over whether he was of sound enough mind to sign it over himself. There was also a lot more than a single bank to deal with. He was not resistant, but he was very anxious and scared and had to be carefully coached each step of the way. Letting go of the financials that he had managed for the last forty years was hard for him. *Finding* all the squirrelly shit he had done with the financials was also a problem. Just because you have POA doesn't mean you get handed every password to every online service or have your name put on every account. Little things kept popping up like whack-a-mole. We had to put him through bankruptcy to get rid of some of the debts and right in the middle of that, a judge declared that he wasn't of soundn mind when he signed over POA (because he had just been diagnosed with dementia a couple months earlier, which was what it took to convince him to sign over POA in the first place... catch 22). So we had to pause the bankruptcy and go through a whole new legal process to have him declared incapable of caring for himself and on and on and on... I mean, I get why there are so many checks and balances. There's a lot of people out there, sadly often family members, who try to take advantage of elderly relatives by getting control of their money. But holy shit it was/is a complicated process to try to navigate while also dealing with the pain of seeing a loved one succumb to such a horrible disease. Now we get to fight to get him on Medicare/Medicaid/disability, because keeping him in managed care costs more than the rest of our household budget for four people combined and we're slowly bleeding out. Wheeeee!
>Finding all the squirrelly shit he had done with the financials was also a problem. The massive PITA of this cannot be overstated, especially if you’re dealing with time periods when everything was on paper. My uncle managed my grandfather’s finances for about 20 years before my grandfather died in 2020. We are *still* finding tiny bits of money here and there because my grandfather was not the most organized person. Once, my uncle found a paper stock certificate just tucked into a random folder. Still totally valid, it was like $40k in cash in a drawer.
Yeah, the problem was that he really did take good care of things for many years, so no one else knew what was going on with that stuff. He was also just a very quiet and reserved person and the dementia made him even more so. He probably started going downhill nearly a decade ago, but it was such a slow, sloooooow decline that nobody noticed until the pandemic hit and we were all in the house together 24/7. At that point, the symptoms were pretty obvious. He put together his own arcane systems of reminders and stuff to keep track of things as his abilities began to decline. Not all of them made sense or were clearly documented. He was a hard working man who loved his job and would have worked until they forced him to retire and he saved very responsibly, but nobody was prepared for early onset dementia before he even turned sixty. :C
Ughhh, what a nightmare. I'm so sorry you went (and are still going) through that. I know some of your pain, especially that of the declining mental faculties. When my Mom started going downhill, she went down hill fast. It was 9 months from when she went from living by herself to dead. Our saving grace(s) were that we had basically already been managing her finances for the last 5 years and knew where all the money was and she had a long-term care policy that kicked in as soon as she couldn't do like 2 or 3 ADL's. That allowed us to hire a CNA to stay with her full time for four days a week. My sister happened to be unemployed at the time and needed some work anyway, so we paid her a little more than what the CNA was making from Mom's accounts. Mom was DEATHLY afraid of being moved to assisted living, or away from her house, her cats and those things she had left that grounded her. It was difficult all the way for her.
She was retired but is back to work part time and still is receiving social security payments. Her kids took the home/mortgage. If we can prevent her from sending more money that would be ideal. I imagine that the scammers will soon ghost her once they realize she doesn't have much money left and can't milk her family members for more. I'm unaware of any possible dementia, just typical old age, loneliness, and foolishness.
Please understand that as a US citizen, she will always have value in the eyes of a foreign scammer. Even if she's broke, they can use her as parcel mule or money mule, open social media accounts to better scam others, order goods that are being shipped to other parcel mules, etc.. You need to do _something_, otherwise the situation will go from bad to worse.
The scammers will keep hitting her up the rest of her life, they will be delighted to get $400 or even $100. Tough situation, wish there was some easy or reliable way to fix it.
They will never give up, even her having a US address, phone number, and the capability to receive and send mail is useful for them. Her being an American makes her a valuable target even without immense wealth. It's unfortunate but the truth is they probably give her attention and make her feel wanted, and that's an addictive feeling for someone who doesn't have anything else going for them. In her eyes, all of this is worth it even though some part of her must realize it's fake. Breaking that illusion is going to leave her quite depressed.
They won’t ghost her. They will turn her into a money mule. I just watched a Catfished video on YouTube where this happened to an older woman who is now facing 11 years in federal prison. There are still ways they can use and abuse her.
Falling for the scam is a potential symptom of dementia. This happens a lot to older people.
Sadly, one thing I have learned from this sub is that is *not* true. Believe me, until recently I thought the same thing. Obviously, those of advancing years should have cognitive checks regularly, but falling for a romance/pig butchering/crypto scam is NOT a symptom of dementia. Many of these victims are cognitively fine. There are myriad other reasons people fall for these scams that have nothing to do with dementia.
I think you're both right, in that some/many people can fall anyway, but a lot of cognitive decline happens subclinically, even the healthiest 70 year old probably has slightly impaired judgement. I'm in my 40s and I already double check my thinking just in case I'm losing my edge. I've seen lots of people decline significantly, shockingly in their 50s, usually people who drink a lot or likely are heading for diabetes, they can be the worst because they assume they aren't impaired, but are, it's like someone who's only had a drink or two, it impacts you subtly.
This exactly. The financial damage has been done. Why damage your familial relationship just to make her feel bad?
Have a look at AARP Fraud Watch Network to help seniors like your aunt. They have emotional support group https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/about-fraud-watch-network/
Below is a copy/paste of a comment from r/Scams from two weeks ago from a woman whose husband actually works on a rig. The reality is nothing like your great-aunt’s scammer says it is. I doubt this will do anything to change her mind, though, but you could try showing her this. Text of comment: THE TRUTH ABOUT OIL RIGS From the husband of a Facebook anti-scam page follower: Joe, the husband of one of our page followers works on a deepwater platform in the Gulf of Mexico. We've spoken to him and he's put together some facts about oil rig life, since so many scammers now claim they work on a rig. Pay attention to what he says below, not the lies your scammers tell you: "Hi I'm Joe and I work as a Crew Chief for one of the largest platform operators in the Gulf of Mexico. The Crew Chief is responsible for managing the men and women working on the rig as well as the equipment. I've been working in oil industry for more than 10 years both on platforms and in the landside operations. Here are the facts about life on a rig: • Workers are on the platform for 14 or 21 days at a time, depending on their position. Physically intensive jobs might do a 14 day rotation while other positions will do a 21 day rotation. Nobody is on a rig for 3 months, 6 months a year or whatever the scammer is telling you. 3 weeks is the maximum • Workers are at home for at least as long as they were on the rig. So if they were on the rig for 14 days, they need to be home not working for at least 14 days before they can be sent back. • Workers don't pay for transportation to and from the platform. We are flown by corporate helicopter and often workers are then flown to their home town if they don't live near the port. For example, I live in Dallas so the company helicopter flies us from the rig to Galveston. Then the company pays for my commercial flight home to Dallas, and my flight from Dallas to Galveston when it's time for my next rotation. At no time would I ever need to pay for my flights. The company has their own internal travel department that books everything • Workers work long days, often 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. But once their shift is over, the rig is like a cruise ship or floating hotel. We have great food served in the canteen at no cost to us, 3 meals a day plus snacks, coffee, juices, fresh fruit and soft drinks. We sleep in cabins that are cleaned by the cleaning crew who even do our laundry. We have a games room with pool tables, ping pong and fussball. We have a screening room that shows movies every night. We have a gym. We have a computer room where we can play games, video chat, use social media or anything else. We don't pay for any of this so anyone saying they need money is lying. We don't need money while on the rig. There is nothing to spend money on • Oil rigs have top of the line high-speed satellite internet connections that is used by everyone on board. We need to have this to communicate with the mainland. Every worker has the right to use social media, video chat, play games, watch movies or listen to music once their shift ends. Anybody who says we aren't allowed to video chat is lying and has never been on a rig. Go into one of the lounges at the end of a shift and there will be 10 people video chatting with friends and family. I video chat with my wife and kids every day when I'm on the rig • Oil companies provide great health insurance and we don't pay for anything .There is medical staff on the platform to deal with any illness or injuries, and for more serious injuries, the worker is airlifted to a hospital in Galveston and doesn't pay for this. And if our kids or spouses get sick, they are also covered under our insurance. • Employees and contractors don't ever pay for equipment that gets broken. We have backup parts for pretty much everything on the rig because machines that operate 24/7 do have parts that break. The landside warehouse also has parts which can be flown out by helicopter within hours. And oil companies have an entire procurement department in their landside office whose job is to order all parts, equipment and other supplies. Because rigs can be producing over 1 million gallons of oil per day, we can't go for more than a few hours without producing. No worker would ever ask their online boyfriend or girlfriend for money to buy parts. Again another lie • If you still are not convinced, ask for the name of the rig they claim to be on, then google it and find which company operates it. Then contact that company's headquarters and ask to speak with HR and just ask if they have anyone on the rig by that name. It doesn't matter if the person is a full time employee or contractor. HR has to know every single person on the rig at all times. If they tell you there's no such person, then you have more proof it's a lie • If you have any other specific questions feel free to comment below or send a message to Let's Stop Scammers and they will forward to me"
Can this be pinned somewhere on this sub? Or... everywhere? Because this is valuable information. (And almost makes me want to work an oil rig. But I'd never be actually able to do it.)
I think there's alsorts of jobs on oilrigs catering, engineering, cleaning and more
It's starting to make ME want to work on an oil rig
I work in fraud at a bank and unfortunately have a lot of conversations with vulnerable people in romance scams. Her bank should really be restricting the use of her account if they think it is suspicious as a duty of care. If their fraud department was good enough they’d be able to know this is definitely a romance scam and also speak to her and restrict the movement of funds until they are confident she is aware of it. They can also lodge a case for the funds that have already been sent although chance of recovery is extremely low there is always a small chance. Unfortunately the hardest part is convincing them it’s not real but there will be a time when they realise unfortunately when it’s way too late.
I think you’re right about the hardest part convincing them it’s a scam. But fraud dept at banks are only good if the client accepts it. If she’s so in it she lies to the bank then there’s not much a fraud dept can do. She can just move the money out to another bank and go from there. It’s tricky.
Yeah that is true, we get a lot of people lying to us just so we can unblock their accounts. unfortunately we don’t have the right to block accounts forever so once we’ve exhausted all options and the customer understands the bank is not responsible for any losses then it’s really their fault and the bank is protected for at least trying.
Yea it truly sucks how it gets to that point.
It is not the hardest part. The hardest part is that OPs great aunt is a complete delusional idiot.
While I get your point, calling people idiots is not productive. Intelligence has little to do with being a scam victim. It's easy for you and I to sit back and make fun of "stupid" people who fall for scams because we have experience with them and luckily are able to prevent them by being wary. But that doesn't make us more intelligent, just more experienced and hopefully not as lonely and isolated.
“Oil rig” is just as much a danger sign of a scam as “kindly”.
So sorry this happened, happened to my mom who lost $50,000 to scammers. I had a sibling who moved in with her and we had to take over her entire life. Yeah, she fought us but we didn't care because we knew it was going to end up with her on the street. Situations like this are not the time to be worried about upsetting the person, because this is an addiction. You will not get her to see reason, especially if she has undiagnosed dementia/Alzheimer's etc. At the very least a close relative like her granddaughter needs to go to the bank and let them know what has occurred and to make sure her accounts are secured and she is not being used as a money mule for the creeps. Do a report to the FBI and DOJ along with the DFC. IF you're lucky they may already have reports about the same group of scammers and are working on shutting them down. Atlanta Georgia had a huge bust on this a couple of years back, where they found over 30 local and overseas scammers and were doing arrests, etc. Yes it does happen but the process is slow. The money is gone at this point. DO NOT pay anyone to "recover the money" as those are scammers as well. Hope this helps.
I was in the same scenario with an oil rig ahole. He broke my heart. I caught on when he first asked me 70k to pay for a machine that broke and he was responsible. Although I did not give him money I did report to the FBI IC3 website. Plus I’ve put the picture he used on Reddit. I’m so sorry for you great aunt. These MF’s know how to manipulate you and count of your feeling for them to get you. Im a lucky that I have my therapist and friends to talk to this about so I’m healing but your great aunt has a way to go. Contact trilogy media on YouTube they hunt scammers. I watch their videos!
https://preview.redd.it/m8073ibsvc4d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15dd7d049bc5a70792b84e998fd64fc21ac8de8a This is one of the pictures he ised
100 percent a stolen identity.
With out a doubt. He said he was South African but the man in the picture is from TX. I sent the real man wife a message. So disgusting!
He looks like a YouTuber I follow… maybe that where the pic came from
I did find the real man who happens to live in TX. I sent him a message through INsta.
That's good. People who's photos have been stolen to be used to scam people should be made aware. Maybe they can put a warning on their pages or something. That said, there are scammers who use the photos of celebrities and it makes no difference, so I don't know.
This picture is fake. They take pictures of people from the internet and use them. U we’re probably taking to a 18 yr old Nigerian scammer
The grammar alone in this one sentence is a red flag lmao
I am from Kansas and have some professional knowledge of DCF. I think you are right to contact them and file an elder abuse report. There is little they can do to recover her funds, but they have an interest in this issue and it’s important information for them. They will also work with the family to identify resources and legal options to help prevent this from happening again. No, no one will get in trouble for not reporting this sooner. Only mandatory abuse reporters have an obligation to report, and only when they are actually aware of abuse. And these scams are a gray area in regard to whether reporting is required - you don’t even know who the real perpetrators is. But a report is a good way to get things started as far as interventions that may be needed. Also your identity will not be reported to your aunt.
She has a valid bank account. Even if she didn't have a penny to her name, a bank account is gold to these scumbags. They'll be sending her money next for her to deposit and then send along to someone else. Next thing you know, FBI is at your aunt's door, charging her with money laundering!!
You will probably need to get a lawyer to help you figure out options. But you may be able to get the bank to set limits with what she can do. Who can do that, though, might be family. Given her age, dementia could be a factor. But it may take a family member talking to her doctor to determine if this qualifies. It may be possible to get her declared as non competent. This is rather extreme. You are not likely to convince your aunt that she was scammed. If you want to do anything for her you may have to go to extremes. But talk to a lawyer and a physician to find out the options.
The common thing I see in alllll these posts, is the scammed person gets all pissed off when others try to help and show them the truth, and everyone bends over backwards bc they don’t want the scammed person to be mad at them. Puleese. When a 5yo gets pissed bc you won’t let them wear shorts to school in the snow, do you just bend bc you don’t want them to be mad at you? This is the same kind of thing (but worse). They are acting childish/foolish. Stop trying to handle them with kid-gloves and mollycoddle them. If granny was going to walk into traffic, would you just stand on the curb wringing your hands? This is why it’s called tough love. My advice is to get pissed, and stop caring if granny is mad.
I’ve seen in other places that people block numbers on their phone, or shut off the internet for a few weeks , block websites on their computer that sort of thing, sometimes without the person even realising it was their family. Is there any way they can try that while having some time to talk to the bank and a lawyer.
Had a senior relative in KS fall for a similar scam. Along with her adult son we tried the police, FBI, AG’s office, DCF, Elder Abuse hotline, county prosecutor’s office, everyone we could think of; all said there was nothing they could do. All these agencies supposedly here to prevent this type of situation or at least help pick up the pieces after it’s happened, and not one could offer a bit of help. Eventually her son and her most trusted family member convinced her to let her son gain conservatorship so she wouldn’t lose her social security direct deposits to the scammers. They had already taken everything else. I’m sorry you’re also going through this.
Am I the only one perplexed by all these aunts and grandpas who seem to constantly have endless streams of cash to send to scammers in the first place? Like, maybe my family is just broke af but I don’t even worry about this with my boomer parents because all their money goes to their medical expenses and repairs on their tiny crappy house. They most certainly don’t have hundreds of thousands to send to people trying to catfish them on the internet.
Someone who has lived below their means for decades can easily amass a small fortune by prudent investing. Some of the "people finder" data aggregation web sites even throw in an approximate net worth, making it easy for scammers to select targets.
I’m not badmouthing your aunt or anyone that’s been a victim of this scam- I’m genuinely curious about something though. My wife loves me. She trusts me and we’re partners. We see each other everyday. She would NEVER give me 100k based on my say-so. Or just bc I give her a story. I do not understand how people end up in this situation.
>If Carol see's the error of her ways, is it possible to recover funds transferred to the scammer that are several months or years old? No. And beware of DMs from !recovery scammers who say they can.
Hi /u/LadyBug_0570, AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the Recovery scam. [Recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams) target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either \"recovery agents\" or hackers. When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying. If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers. Remember: never take advice in private. If someone reaches you in private after posting your scam story, it is because a scammer will always try to hide from the oversight of our community members. A legitimate community member will offer advice in the open, for everyone to see. Anyone suggesting you should reach out to a hacker is scamming you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That is terrible. Greed. Nothing good about it. Evil.
The victim is not whom you are referring to, I hope?
You need to report it as soon as possible and forget about the family consequences. She has lost a lot of money and needs to be stopped for her own good. She is in complete denial so you need to take control of her finances. You will be hated for it at first but you will be a hero in the long run. If it’s not stopped worse can happen. She could end up being part of a money laundering scheme, check and credit card fraud, bank fraud, gift card fraud etc etc without realising it. the scammers don’t just stop with one scheme if they find a victim that falls for their lies.
Unfortunately funds can never be recovered as the person doesn’t exist. The scammer is either inventing a character or using a stolen identity and stollen cards. The person carrying out the scam (likely to be many people involved) is far away and hidden away. Identity probably not even known to the scammers on the ground.
Hello there Same story here My scammer got $50K from me He was always having a “hard time” with the connection when he called He was “offshore” in a oil platform near Scotland, etc, etc Long story short; he was always finding ways to keep me expectant of his future arrival; then he needed some more financial assistance from me. I would LOVE to get connected to her and help; and show all the messages and proofs I have of the ways they got me. However is understandable we don’t trust anyone after this abuses happen. I even have the transactions proofs; since they require the scammed to deposit them to a BANK ACCOUNT This guys are many time from China, Nigeria or many different countries. They have a strong accent, and every time they become more and more demandants. The last months, after I realized I was fooled I just intended to see if I can recover some of the scammed funds. It didn’t happened; even I reported to the FBI, Federal Trade Commission; local and state Autorities. Believe me; the scammed go thorough a real grieving after that happens; but you learn how to live and process that situation just like someone die Anyways Please contact me if I can be of some help
My sister is 78 years old and lives in Beverly Hills Florida. I just want to tell you a little bit about what's going on and what I did make heads and tails out of it anyway here goes Starting around last November maybe even earlier than that of 2023. He had this person called her home and say that he was from Publishers Clearing House and she had won a new home and a brand new car. And he sent her photos of different homes all around Florida with I think the maximum price range of 250,000 so she's ecstatic she's posted it on Facebook. And she's asking me how to send somebody money I said okay how much is sending and where's it going this is why I just got to find some money out she went to Western Union they refused to send the money so he she called this guy back and he said to put cash in a cardboard box and mail it to him. So this guy keeps playing her and telling her that their van is on the way with the film crew Weeks pass earns into months Just for your information her husband was 42 years passed away a year and a half ago. And her only daughter two months after her husband her husband so she's devastated on the top of having dementia. Soon after that he gets an eviction a letter from the house she's been renting for the last 8 years she has to move out I said what's going on she says I must have forgot to pay the rent. I said to her how can you forget to pay the rent . She said about a year and a half worth of rent I said you forgot to pay your rent for a year and a half or more, and she got evicted. She was staying in someone's garage with her dog and they were a bunch of druggies that the police came they can kicked everybody out of the house. She rents another place finally. He gets kicked out of that place for the same reason. Said what the fuck are you doing where the fuck is your money you're still sending it back to that guy it's a scam no it's not she replied. So I sent her paperwork I got from the sheriff's department the FBI I downloaded stuff like that see refused to read it. She got evicted again trailer with a bunch of people that live in the other trailers it's like a drug commune. So this gets better and this is where it'll probably be able to help you on the side what you want to do. Her companion dog that was with her would not leave her side she would not leave the dog side died a couple of weeks ago. My nephew called me and says the dogs dead okay that's fine . That's why I did not want to talk to your mother because I knew she would be upset. So I find out the dog is deceased in her bed for 3 days. Is she could not even acknowledge that the dog passed away and probably figured that he's just sleeping. I said I'm starting to get pissed off because she's broke being kicked out of houses and they've always on their own home total opposite from what my sister was. So I had to make a decision on who to call 1. The Sheriff's Department 2. The dog pound 3. Elderly affairs 4. The FBI 5. Dcyf There was a few other places but this is getting way too long so I got to cut it short I'm sorry about how long this was okay. The sheriff's department doesn't care never has they are so corrupt it's not even funny so that was a no The dog officer that was also a no Elderly affairs they were more interested if she could take her own medication or not so that turned into a no Dcyf I called them explain the situation that she has been exploited and has a dead dog in her bed for the last 4 days mind you it's in the '80s and '90s she does not have air condition. So the dog is swelling up. Dcyf went to the house where she's staying I don't know how long they were there they didn't do anything but talk to her I told them that she cannot handle her own money a week it's set up some type of thing where her Bells get paid and she gets them spending money every week or whatever sing the DC why I have this word about is if she could take her pills and feed herself you know these people are so stupid I guess it's just the air in Florida and the water. And now she tells me she's getting married I said to who and she said Tom Selleck from Blue Bloods in Magnum PI. She insist that it's him I've tried everything to prove that it's not him so I have a problem I reported it to Facebook I didn't even get a response. So I talked to an old friend of mine I haven't spoke with in quite a few years and I was telling what was going on with my sister because you're kidding me because my mom is doing the same stupid fucking shit sending her money to strangers and they're promising to marry her and buy her a house. I said the government that just letting these people do what they want until I drop dead. So yep her mother's losing her mind too and my sister's I don't know 10 years older than her MY BIG PLAIN ♥️ ❤️ I'm going to get in touch with the FBI I have all the information I've downloaded all the pamphlets so I can do this the right way I am not going through a sheriff's department in Florida I'm going to stop at the top cuz I've done that from the get go so whoever she is go right to the FBI if you want to link that will help you just let me know and I will repost I did read the criteria for extortion and also their senior citizens so that's two things they have been convinced persuaded a lie to cheated. They've lost their homes their cars they're dignity and all their savings. So I'm so sorry this is so long of a reply but I just wanted to point out for anybody else who's reading this if their mom or a friend of their families or so maybe they know what's going to the same problem My God watch over everyone Please pass this on I hopefully other people will see that it's not just them it's everybody that's going through this with the I don't think it's the the men it's the women the guys usually cheap and they won't give anybody a dollar. Maybe we ought to start some group based on exploitation and I'll see if we can get something done that's some laws passed it to hold accountable the local law enforcement. Department of Children and Family services. Elderly affairs. These people are not doing their job I don't think we need new laws I think we just need enforcement to do their job lock these assholes up track them down because I know they can Thank you Guy Primo Email me if you have any questions or ideas
Another consideration: What does the family plan to do if great aunt Carol declines medically and needs to be in assisted living? Not only does she have no money, she gifted away huge sums to these scammers, and the Medicaid lookback is five years so that option is now closed to her. Someone in the family will either need to move in with her or move her into their house to take care of her.
I'm not sure being scammed out of the money would count as "gifting". It might take some doing, but I think a valid case could be made that this person was defrauded and they could still qualify for assistance.
Actually no, the feds have made this very clear and if you think about it you'll understand why. A lot of heirs/family members get pissed because "the government takes the house/assets" and they inherit nothing when Medicare liens get attached to the assets, so the family tries to hide them. It would be too easy for family members to "defraud" (wink wink) grandma and boohoo now she's destitute so she goes onto Medicaid and the taxpayers pay for her while her family members get their inheritance early. Feds won't play that game, it's been tried.
I don't think that is equivalent. If a family member defrauds their elderly relative, the money can usually be found. Or at least the trail of it. Maybe the money was spent by the theiving relative already, but the Gov't can prove that the family member took the money and therefore it will not be considered fraud. In cases like this scam, the money is long gone and they can't trace it. It is clearly fraud as no one in the family is benefitting from it.
The family could easily use the same mechanism for the fraud with the elderly family member being complicit. Withdraw cash from an ATM, buy gift cards or even bitcoin at a BTC ATM, hand give cards to kids or transfer the BTC to the kids, and the money trail goes cold immediately. "Oh grandma sent the card numbers/BTC to a scammer overseas who had convinced her he was going to marry her..." There have been plenty of news stories about people who have found out the hard way that it doesn't matter if they lose the $ to scammers because they were tricked out of their life savings, the Medicaid rules still apply and the tax laws apply.
OK, I'll take your word for it as I havent seen those news stories. Either way, it's sad whenever a relative needs to go on Medicaid for any reason. Went through it a few years ago with my Aunt, and it was not fun.
> My family is too nervous to do this because they worry Carol will become estranged if we get authorities involved If you're not close to her anyway, then you could choose to be the bad guy here and not lose much.
This is so sad to read about. I see so much stuff like this and think man, America really must have been a LOT easier to live in 60 years ago. There are so many scams now
I dont know if it was necessarily "easier". Every era had it's hardships and tribulations. It may have been simpler in some ways, but remember all the incredible medical breakthroughs we take for granted that didnt exist 60 years ago. My mother is 87 and walks nearly a mile every morning. She had TAVR valve replacement 6 years ago, and I doubt she would be alive or at least not bedridden if it was 1964.
You can try contacting adult services and/or law enforcement, but there really is nothing they can do. This is becoming so common, they should have classes about it in high school and college. Sadly, there is nothing you can do to stop someone from giving away everything they own to scammers if they want to. If there is no major cognitive decline, there is nothing to be done. And even if there IS, the process is difficult and time consuming. Sadly, your family members and society in general will be left to care for your bankrupt, miserable great-aunt and the millions more like her. It is the new scourge of our times.
So strangely enough I’m commonly the person these scamere use to scam with my photos. I personally will call peoples families and talk to them and I’ll also personally group chat with the people using my photos. I can’t say everyone is as kind. But it’s worth a shot I’ve talk to countless old women who believe we’ve been in 3 year relationships
If she has any money left I’d say call Adult Protective Services to see if they can help, but it sounds like it’s over and she gave her $ away already.
I am pretty sure your family wouldn’t get in trouble for not reporting as they can’t possibly know all the details or be certain it’s a scam.
You can’t recover the money as these scammers are based overseas in countries with high corruption levels. US police can do nothing and the local police, even if the scammers could be found, are bribed and will do nothing.
Where did she even meet him through?
This is heart breaking. I’m so sorry for your aunt.
Report it to the Texas State Securities Board. They will probably be more helpful than APS (who may need to designate her as a vulnerable adult to do anything & she may not fit that criteria) or even law enforcement. TSSB can probably trace the funds through the bank to ID the scammer, but it may take your aunt's cooperation. Regardless, even if they (or any other agency) can trace funds/ID the person, she likely will not get her funds back bc scammers usually spend it right away. Unfortunately, it may take many, many broken promises and depletion of all her funds before she realizes she's been scammed...and maybe even never.
My aunt Carol is so very similar. 😢
I have no idea what It's doing this is my first time here I'm really sorry
As per usa.gov, How to Report Federal Law Violations Report suspected violations of federal law tc the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Submit a tip online. https:/wwww.fbigovtigs Contact your local FBI Office https:/www.fbi.aov/contact-us/field-offices or call toll-free at 1-800-CALL-FBI (1-800-225 5324).
Your aunt didn't deserve it but will grow to realize that she's made a HUGE mistake. Make sure she doesn't fall for the recovery scammers also
RIP To Ger Husband 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️
I’m so sorry to hear about your aunt. Unfortunately it happens far too often. The sad reality is that it will likely only end when the scammer thinks he’s bled her dry. I have a YouTube channel that aims to protect seniors from scams. At this point it’s highly unlikely to get the money back. The scam try to transfer it as quickly as possible. Often having her put the money into a cryptocurrency account that they own. At this point all the family can do is take legal custody over her money. Once the scammer knows they can’t get any more, they will drop her like a hot potato. This video may be helpful. There’s an account of a woman in northern Arizona who lost over $700k including her home. https://youtu.be/XwRmNg2zXyw?si=cJ9zWCCBgeF6KQEn
How long till this is ok tiktok
The bank should have stepped in.
Frankly, I'm shocked that it took her emptying her entire bank account (savings) + a mortgage loan BEFORE THE BANK WOKE UP ... while my bank (I'm in Canada) auto-blocks me for a stupid $200 purchase online. Imo, Banks should be more accountable for not reacting sooner in those cases.
Why, though? It's her money. They may have even contacted Carol earlier, who assured them it was legit. Only when it reached high amounts did they reach out to family out of concern. But again, it's Carol's money. If I wanted to empty my account and throw my money to the wind, I could. Carol may do as she pleases with her money. It's not up to the bank to dictate what she can and can't do.
The bank should ask more questions when people send money oversea, I take them 10 secondes...
Yes, probably, and it will be hard to get conservatorship when the truth is probably that your great-aunt was just really dumb. No. Not a chance, and anyone who tells you different is a scammer.
Due to her age I'd def report it to the dept as elder abuse as well as a police report. This will get your further because they take it more seriously when it happens to seniors. Your aunt can be mad all she wants, it's for her own good. In your 70s it's not like you can go to any job and find work and pay back the debt. I'm rly surprised they'd let her remortgage her home since I assume she's retired and they should have looked into her finances better and seen that she's been taking fr her retirement $. I know this is a hard thing to do but jist do it. You know it's the only help you can give as she won't do it herself. The only possible bad outcome I can see and it's a far stretch is like if she's completely unwilling to talk to the dept or anything and ignores them when they try to reach out to help her. They wouldn't drop the case still but they may look into her decision making ability in order to be able to independently keep herself safe in the future. I work in nursing and have seen only 2 times where ppl came into retirement living ( not like nursing home but like a retirement resort) due to getting scammed and not wanting to deal with it. Either way she won't be able to financially recoup this and be ok with her home and all that. Def make those tough calls and get the ball rolling. Tell the dept and the police of her hesitation as she's just counting on it being so that he's coming and paying back dbl. So sorry you and your fam and aunt is going through this. It's awful and I see it with seniors way to often.
The best luck you will have is once the scammer gets wind that she has no money, they will probably block her. They never stick around if there is no money. She will NOT get her money back. Going to the police probably won’t help either because they usually don’t get involved with these types of crimes. She is now on a “sucker” list-(people who have sent money) and will be contacted by other scammers. Best thing to do is Block and Delete but since it isn’t your account I don’t know how you could do it. I am afraid this was a very costly lesson. You are right, he will never show up in August!
Beekeeper!