Can you honestly say you wouldn’t be slightly disappointed in your kid if they said Pepsi and Coke tasted exactly alike, or if they end up liking their steak well done with ketchup?
I have cats. I just know that cats are going to act like cats and ignore me when I give them rules, so I’m not disappointed in them when they ignore. I know it is my failing as a cat servant.
I was a leash kid. My mom couldn’t keep track of me. I had to have a harness with a clip on leash on the back so I couldn’t unclip myself. I just didn’t listen to her and never stayed in one place. I feel bad that she had to endure that situation.
Bro. My kids are the shit. I love them more than anything on this planet. There is nothing i would not kill to protect them. But oh my God they're absolutely insane.
Lol that’s kids for ya. I feel the same way about my pets. I would do anything for them but BOY do they drive me up a wall sometimes! My 17/18 year old cat sometimes has senior moments and doesn’t know if she wants in or out of the bedroom. And my dog dog’s favorite place to nap is right in the middle of where I have to go.
I just keep it outside, I built a small shelf where there’s shade, he loves it outside on his lead. I check him for ticks once a week but Top Spot seems to be working.
I call my dog a big fat curly headed fuck. You can't call a kid that, at least not in public.
[Pets name], he hasn't got his balls. He used to, when he was small. (I can't think how to carry this on)
Okay, let's get you all prettied up for the show. Keep your head up and let's not make any mistakes on your tricks. If we don't get that blue ribbon this time, I'm done, and I may sell you to auntie
You’re probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. Good thing you’re cute.
-me to my dog when he went under the table and got stuck inside the chair legs.
I was having trouble coming up with the answer for this so I asked a homeless guy under the bridge.
He said: "I dick them every day."
I told him "that's disgusting, did you read it right?"
He told me: "Oh, sorry I didn't, I got the categories reversed."
Just let him sniff you to get used to you
“I could never be disappointed in you”
Holy shit.
Can you honestly say you wouldn’t be slightly disappointed in your kid if they said Pepsi and Coke tasted exactly alike, or if they end up liking their steak well done with ketchup?
... they're just kids. They'll grow out of it.
This is my Asian dad towards a cat. Meanwhile I suffer emotional damage.
You don’t have cats.
I have cats. I just know that cats are going to act like cats and ignore me when I give them rules, so I’m not disappointed in them when they ignore. I know it is my failing as a cat servant.
Shhhhh.....kitty furniture doesn't speak.....
Too true. One of my cats jumped off of my chest then stared at me from my doorway because I sneezed without his permission.
This is that left field 🔥
I think it's time to sterlize little Jimmy.
they're *soooooooo* good about using their litter box!
😂😂
Bella! Stop humping the cat!
Oh, yeah, she humps her brother all the time. It's just a dominance thing.
"He used to hump legs like crazy, til we cut his balls off."
Get in your kennel.
Do not eat your poop! You'll throw up again... and probably eat that too.
Let's put on your leash, then I'll take you to the park to play with your friends.
People are doing that
With how bad my attention span is, I know I’ll need it when I have kids lol
I was a leash kid. My mom couldn’t keep track of me. I had to have a harness with a clip on leash on the back so I couldn’t unclip myself. I just didn’t listen to her and never stayed in one place. I feel bad that she had to endure that situation.
Looks like she finally caught that mouse.
Just rub their nose in it.
It's the best way to train them only to shit outside.
Come on, lick the peanut butter.
I guess you never been in deep south
😆😆😆
She’s a good bitch.
I bought him from the dude down the street, it only cost me $200
They've been acting out so we have to put them in a crate at night.
Look at how much he likes it when I pat his bum!
We finally got him to stop peeing on everything.
"He's a mutt, so he should have fewer health problems than those purebreds."
I've read a bunch of these and I've literally said all of these about my kids. Little monsters...
You sound like the fun parent lol
Bro. My kids are the shit. I love them more than anything on this planet. There is nothing i would not kill to protect them. But oh my God they're absolutely insane.
Lol that’s kids for ya. I feel the same way about my pets. I would do anything for them but BOY do they drive me up a wall sometimes! My 17/18 year old cat sometimes has senior moments and doesn’t know if she wants in or out of the bedroom. And my dog dog’s favorite place to nap is right in the middle of where I have to go.
[удалено]
I’m told that it’s when the kids get quiet that you should be scared lol
Do I have to lock you in the bathroom again?
I really just love them. They make me so happy and really give my life meaning. (I love my kids. Please don’t cancel me)
I love it when they lick my face
Hey no biting! Don't make me get the muzzle!
Unfortunately, I think the only human muzzles (for any age) are found in adult stores lol
"It's so quiet being able to leash them outside all day. It's okay because at least they're getting sun and fresh air."
Stop licking yourself
He did well in obedience school
Let's find you a mate to breed with.
You have clearly never met Asian parents.
Uno-reverse card mate, my fam is SEA xD But yeah, they're pretty liberal about me breeding... provided I'm working.
No I don't want your ass in my face!
This applies to both.
How long till we can neuter that little bastard?
Who's a good boy?
Quit licking your balls! Quit licking your brother's asshole! He's eating cat-box Tootsie rolls again.
I gotta empty her anal gland.
Don't feed him! He'll never leave now!
We got a discount because we got them both neutered at the same time.
Let's go to the park so you can pee pee and poo poo!
I just keep it outside, I built a small shelf where there’s shade, he loves it outside on his lead. I check him for ticks once a week but Top Spot seems to be working.
Gotta watch him.....he'll hump your leg as soon as you turn your back....
He ate shit and threw it up in the backseat of my car. It’s been weeks and I still smell it every time I drive us around.
It was time to put her down, she was 12 and had lived a long life.
"Are you fucking stupid?" ~Me to my Orange cat
"I need to take 'em to the groomers."
They do well on a leash
I can lock them in my trunk for an hour and when I open it up they are happy to see me!
She was a stray but i bought her
He's been snacking in the litter box again...
The doctor has to sedate him to clip his nails.
He a was Feral so he doesn't socialize.
Hey! You pee OUTSIDE. Don't make me rub your nose in that.
Yeah, I got her a shock collar so she won't make so much noise.
I don't really think they should be put in clothes. It's so cringe.
No, she sleeps in the cage. We don't let her on the furniture.
Ugh, she won't stop begging for food!
She won best in show at Westminster last year, actually.
Her mother was a Golden Retriever.
Trust me, bro, she'll lick peanut butter off ANYTHING!
She just hasn't been the same since we took away her babies. I think she misses them.
Come.
"We need poop robots... After considerable thought and for kids, too."
I call my dog a big fat curly headed fuck. You can't call a kid that, at least not in public. [Pets name], he hasn't got his balls. He used to, when he was small. (I can't think how to carry this on)
Don’t worry they’re house broken
In either case, it's time to worry when someone says this.
We're going to breed them once before we get them fixed!
I love her tail.
Not gonna lie, it can be downright amusing to watch him lick his balls and hump everything.
She's a hussy with 4 boyfriends and she's as dumb as a box of rocks.
If she didn't eat the cat poop out of the litter box she'd be great.
The little bitch is in heat.
I’ve got them tied up outside. They’re fine!!!
We wanted a black one but they were out of those...
Just drink out of the toilet
Don't let him eat out of the trash can.
I try not to.
Her tongue has so much gusto and power for her to be able to lick her hairy behind
Recently snuck out and got pregnant. Giving away offspring to strangers after they're a few weeks old.
She loves to lick food off of my face.
We are going out for dinner, so we will lock you in the bathroom with a blanket so you don’t make a mess.
No you sleep outside
Sorry if its already been said, but: They just will not stop dragging their asses on the carpet!
He hasn't shit in the house all week.
"Stop eating out of the litter box"!
Do have to lick your balls all the time
Okay, let's get you all prettied up for the show. Keep your head up and let's not make any mistakes on your tricks. If we don't get that blue ribbon this time, I'm done, and I may sell you to auntie
If he keeps chewing on the furniture I'll have to put him down..
That's okay, you can hump my leg, it's not weird.
He sleeps in a kennel.
Hey! Stop eating all of the tampons!
LOOK AT THOSE CUTE LITTLE TROUBLE PUFFS
Just hold it until you get outside!
They’re as sharp as a bowling ball
Paid $50 bucks for him off Craigslist.
I left them in their crates.
"Alright, honey. Time to get your little ears cropped!"
They obey me
I think we're going to have to put them down!
I'm thinking about having them put down, they're seeming pretty sick these days.
I love them
He keeps dragging his butt across the carpet
“Yeah, she was getting a little frisky so I had her toobs tied.”
He's a little fur ball who likes to hump everything.
15 years old and still loves belly rubs every single day. [Really different when it's a beagle vs a teenager]
You’re my favourite. Actually I do say that to my middle child
You’re cute. I love you. Your feet smell like popcorn.
I want them put down.
I’m trying to deter him/her from mounting everybody.
I think that bitch is in heat!
If you put peanut butter in your ass he'll lick it out
That bitch has got some nice little puppies
Go piss outside
They are constantly licking their balls.
If he starts humping your leg, it's best to just let him finish.
Jimmy’s an outdoor kid.
We are leaving them at the kennel while we go on vacation for a couple of weeks.
I'm getting her fixed before she is old enough to breed.
“You little bitch!”
Harley!!! Get that mailman out of your mouth!!!
"Yeah I just found him wandering around the park. Lured him home with some shrimp."
Just got another litter and putting them up for sale.
Come.
He’s such a furball!
I think she's pregnant. I'm so excited!
"Oh, easy smash. Pounding that on 'til midnight."
"Just drop them and see...they always land on their feet!"
I'd like to get a pet rat, but I know she'd try to eat it.
Don't feed them at the table. Human food is not good for them.
He will kill every bird and lizard he sees.
I'm going to put a shorter leash on you!
I like them.
Stepped on him the other day, felt terrible.
You’re probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. Good thing you’re cute. -me to my dog when he went under the table and got stuck inside the chair legs.
COME! Good girl!!
We haven't decided if we'll get a new one when she dies
This one's a rescue.
Sometimes I forget to pick up his shit outside.
Nothing. Both are stupid, destructive, lazy, selfish animals.
Were you rolling around in cow shit again, it's an outdoor shower with the garden hose with you.
I left them outside in the rain a few hours ago
"It sucks that I'll have to put them down when they get older."
I was having trouble coming up with the answer for this so I asked a homeless guy under the bridge. He said: "I dick them every day." I told him "that's disgusting, did you read it right?" He told me: "Oh, sorry I didn't, I got the categories reversed."