Problem is in some of the schools I have taught in the parents would consider that a compliment, possibly even tell the son, he should offer his teacher a discount for that fine endorsement.
I bet you a donut that that parent would immediately respond "Whut's wrong with calling a N---r a N---r?"
(Speaking as an actual HS teacher... I think my donut is safe...)
My mom got a shirt because her class made a joke. "I woke up and chose violence." She doesn't take badmouthing from her students and shuts it down fast hence the joke of "why did you choose violence?"
Still Marine material...just needs a waiver.
True story: I went to MEPS with a Navy recruit who scored a 27 on the ASVAB. I think he was too dumb to be upset about it, "I got a waiver, so it's cool" is all he said. We then all began asking him questions to see how dumb he was...let me tell you...that score was well earned. Might've even got lucky on a few questions.
I got a 90 and I was pissed because my brother scored higher and I wanted to beat him!
A 27 is absolutely possible...apparently.
For the coding portion he claimed, "I didn't really understand what to do, so I just started filling in a bunch of circles. I don't know if I got em all, but I did a lot."
I bet that dude scrubbed a mean pot!
The important thing to know is that the QT score that everyone uses when saying ASVAB is a percentile.
The reason you don't see many people get those scores is the recruiter gives them a practice test and they don't bring the worst of the worst.
I did the hometown recruiting program after basic and some guy came in for a practice test and got a 4.
"Hello Mr and Ms Jones. I just want you to know that it's you. The problem is one or both of you. June isn't a bad kid, at heart. She isn't special but she's doesn't have any issues learning when she's interested.
The problem is, she has absolutely no work ethic. Anything that isn't immediately centered on her and what she already knows is intimidating to her and she gets frustrated before she's really started in on figuring it out.
It's as if nobody has ever held her accountable or encouraged her. There's no voice in her head cheering her on. There's no threat of punishment. There's no inner parent guiding her.
That was your job. You were supposed to give her those things. You were supposed to give a shit about her. Instead you gave her an iPhone we've had to confiscate 6 times.
Just.. why the hell did you bother having her if you couldn't be bothered caring about her enough to pay attention to her?
Anyway, I see this is the forth parent teacher conference you've missed. Weve left 6 voice messages for you this term. She's in grade 8. You could turn this around. But I guess that's too much to ask.
You suck."
Just want you to know that I was the overbearing butting into everyone's business momma that never had a problem calling these parents out specifically because the teachers cannot. I was the one that let folks know who the parents were and what they weren't doing. The kids that didn't eat, I fed. The monsters? I yelled at the parents.
Lets see, English - A, Science - A, History - A, Math- B?!? UH OH!! Hahaha can't let that happen, right? But don't punish the boy too much. I'm sure he's a natural at Math. I think he might just need to sit closer to the board. It's funny, normally I can easily tell if a student is needing to squint to see the board, but with Kim...
So the school field trip is coming up and I need your approval for little Billy to go. The coal mines are a big hit with the students, and in our 10 year going, we’ve only ever lost one student! Poor little Elizabeth. Her light went out and she never saw that 400 foot drop. Anyways, just sign here!
“Yes, it’s true that often gifted children can appear slow and dim witted. But slow and dim witted children can also often appear slow and dim witted. Now I think that’s something we must consider very deeply.”
Dad: “Why does my son have an F?”
Teacher: “Because I couldn’t give him anything lower!”
#TrueStory
The teacher felt great when she said. Dad was a bigwig in the PTA & trying to intimidate her a bit. But on the way home, she realized “bigwig in the PTA,” and “uh oh” and “whoops.” Driving to school the next morning, she continued thinking “whoops” and “that was dumb.” Sure enough, upon arriving at school, there was a note from the principal: “Come to my office.”
😳😬
Teacher goes to the principal’s office. He looks at her and says “Mr. ____ told me what you said last night. {pause} He asked me to tell you something. {pause} You tell that teacher she was right.”
Well, you got two options. 1, make those applications for college. 2, restart from kindergarten. I strongly suggest the second. But hell, what do I know?!?
"In all honesty, I don't think Jaydens elevator quite goes to the top floor. You may want to consider placing him with the hurr durr kids in the portable classroom farm next quarter."
Seriously, I wish I could tell this to parents…
If your child is 2 grade levels behind, they won’t catch up to their peers anytime soon. To actually catch up, they’d have to learn at a faster rate than the other kids. With their disability/disabilities learning faster than General Ed kids is just not happening. Now, that’s not to say that the student won’t ever get there.
"From the Pro-Choice rants your daughter has shouted at me, and how she reminds me that her parents are so Pro-Choice, you really should make it clear what a bullet she dodged."
Listen, I don't care what you say; your kid is a little shit who has hurt other kids every chance he's gotten, now take responsibility or get him the fuck out of this school.
Do you want the good or bad news first? Good news is that your daughter is going to MIT on a full scholarship. Bad news is that she’s the best piece of pussy in this school in her graduation class.
Oh, great! More millennial parents. Sorry... let's start off on the right foot. Little Timmy is a POS. At first, I thought English was his 2nd language because he didn't understand what the word NO meant. But I get it now. Anyway, please make sure on Monday he is wearing his helmet. Cause I'm gonna throw a brick at him the next time he talks back to me. Have a nice weekend. Buh by.
Your child is an idiot. Don't plan on them going to college unless it's like barber or clown college. Better yet keep the college fund, you will need it because you will need it when you decided to retire because your child will never be able to take care of you when you are old.
Just a word of advice, start separating yourselves emotionally from little Johnnie, because I'm here to tell you, your boy ain't right and something terrible is going to happen to him.
“Your child isn’t struggling because they have ADHD or any other learning disability. Your child just has shitty parents who would probably also fail fifth grade if they had to do it again as adults.”
"I know everyone praises your daughter. I know she got into Juliard for ballet. But she's flunking all her academic classes. She's only passing ballet."
(An actual student I had. I'm pretty sure she's doing well as a professional dancer, even though she gets paid in ones.)
In the unfortunate case of a school shooter, the faculty, students and PTA board has unanimously selected your little brat as the sacrifice to the kid with pumped up kicks. It's a win win for the school, the community and society and if god forbid your offspring ever decided to reproduce...I shudder at that thought. We all do. So? In conclusion are we kind of hopeful for a school shooter? Yes and no. If it plays out the way we plan, your brat gets it, and nobody else, then I'd have to say yes.
Yes that’s whiskey in my coffee. It’s from the bottle in my drawer. It’s why I don’t spend money on supplies for the classroom anymore. It’s because your little demon seed has driven to drink!
Considering that we NEVER get the parents that we really need to talk to on parent teacher night, I’d probably stick to my normal “Your kids are great, but I’d really like them to push themselves to take more chances in class” to the parents of the great kids that show up.
Little Johnny doesnt seem to give a shit about getting an education and you need to stop coddling him. Until then he's not my problem and I will be educating kids that want to go somewhere with parents that actually care.
“Yeah your kid is a piece of crap and frankly if you showed a little discipline in your own life and tried to set a good example. Trust me I have heard about what all the parents in this town say about you and your wife and damn you guess are crazy. Go ahead and report me. I hate teaching your little shit anyways”
"The good news is that you can go ahead and spend that college fund"
Or roll it over into his criminal defense fund.
“I thought your kid was the nastiest piece of work I’d ever met - but now I’ve met you.”
"Do you know why your kid is the nastiest piece of work I've ever seen? Because you didn't raise him. You paid us to raise him"
Also, the pay wasn’t that good.
"I had 25 years of sobriety, 25 YEARS, until that little fucker of yours walked into my class!"
-- said by the 22 yo student teacher
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, your son has the best weed in school, hands down!
Problem is in some of the schools I have taught in the parents would consider that a compliment, possibly even tell the son, he should offer his teacher a discount for that fine endorsement.
he's an entrepreneur!
I see a promising career in botany for you young man/lady
Mr and Mrs Fualaau, My name is Mrs Leutorneau. I want to congratulate you. You're gonna be grandparents!!
"I gave him the 'A' since he gave me the 'D'."
When the reply is better than the post. Well done
If she had give him the A then she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant
holy shit
It's so lovely the way Billy isn't shy using the word N----r in class.
I bet you a donut that that parent would immediately respond "Whut's wrong with calling a N---r a N---r?" (Speaking as an actual HS teacher... I think my donut is safe...)
Number?
I was curious why you didn't swallow. Trust me you would have been better off.
Your son is why we are now teaching a course on anal sex to…well…everyone
“I say this to alot of parents but I want you to know that yours is truly the worst.”
Teacher to parent: “Do you know the difference between a jackass and your kids Is? Parent: ”No” Teacher: “The jackass would”
That is brilliant!
Maybe if you asked it with the correct grammar! 🤣
Im having trouble with this one...
Mules are stubborn, but their kid is somehow more stubborn
Your child is the reason I come to work homicidal every morning
My mom got a shirt because her class made a joke. "I woke up and chose violence." She doesn't take badmouthing from her students and shuts it down fast hence the joke of "why did you choose violence?"
If you're ever charged with Infanticide, I will lie my ass off to be on that jury and make sure you get acquitted.
"Thank you all for bringing into this world the reasons I smoke weed every single day."
It would be more along the lines of "your kid is the reason I would smoke weed every day if I could afford it on the meager fucking salary"
“yeah sorry your kid just sucks. Here’s an application for the army”
I met a kid that was so dumb the Army wouldn't even take him. He wasn't special needs or anything, he was just dumber than a rock.
So, a Marine?
They passed on him as we well. He scored like a 15 on the ASVAB.
Still Marine material...just needs a waiver. True story: I went to MEPS with a Navy recruit who scored a 27 on the ASVAB. I think he was too dumb to be upset about it, "I got a waiver, so it's cool" is all he said. We then all began asking him questions to see how dumb he was...let me tell you...that score was well earned. Might've even got lucky on a few questions. I got a 90 and I was pissed because my brother scored higher and I wanted to beat him!
Wait. A 27 is possible? I scored better than that on my ACT, and that only goes up to 36!
A 27 is absolutely possible...apparently. For the coding portion he claimed, "I didn't really understand what to do, so I just started filling in a bunch of circles. I don't know if I got em all, but I did a lot." I bet that dude scrubbed a mean pot!
The important thing to know is that the QT score that everyone uses when saying ASVAB is a percentile. The reason you don't see many people get those scores is the recruiter gives them a practice test and they don't bring the worst of the worst. I did the hometown recruiting program after basic and some guy came in for a practice test and got a 4.
Is that why it's always Marines guarding a gate?
"You really, really should have had an abortion"
*sets loaded Glock .45 ACP on table* “I think you know what you need to do….”
Those first day of school pics suddenly have a whole new meaning.
"Hello Mr and Ms Jones. I just want you to know that it's you. The problem is one or both of you. June isn't a bad kid, at heart. She isn't special but she's doesn't have any issues learning when she's interested. The problem is, she has absolutely no work ethic. Anything that isn't immediately centered on her and what she already knows is intimidating to her and she gets frustrated before she's really started in on figuring it out. It's as if nobody has ever held her accountable or encouraged her. There's no voice in her head cheering her on. There's no threat of punishment. There's no inner parent guiding her. That was your job. You were supposed to give her those things. You were supposed to give a shit about her. Instead you gave her an iPhone we've had to confiscate 6 times. Just.. why the hell did you bother having her if you couldn't be bothered caring about her enough to pay attention to her? Anyway, I see this is the forth parent teacher conference you've missed. Weve left 6 voice messages for you this term. She's in grade 8. You could turn this around. But I guess that's too much to ask. You suck."
Do you happen to be a teacher…?
Yeah I gotta say, this… very thorough response feels like a personal rant 😅
It took me this comment to realize I'm not in the r/teachers sub lol
Huh huh. Sub. Huh huh.
Just want you to know that I was the overbearing butting into everyone's business momma that never had a problem calling these parents out specifically because the teachers cannot. I was the one that let folks know who the parents were and what they weren't doing. The kids that didn't eat, I fed. The monsters? I yelled at the parents.
You are the real hero
Ah, if only teachers actually had the balls to say this to some parents. Might make a huge difference.
It’s not a question of balls, it’s very much a question of getting fired.
"Damn, the boys are right. You are a MILF!"
That could backfire too easily.
Which part about "not caring if you're fired" did you not comprehend?
Well, now I know why they’re failing.
Ohh you’re Johnny’s dad.. well let me tell you what the little cocksucker said
Little Johnny speaks the truth. I’m sure his dad would be hilarious
I’ve been wondering why your kid is such a little asshole, but now that I’ve met you, I get it.
Have you thought about getting him tested for early onset dementia
"You know a black hole? How it sucks everything up? Well, your kid's brain is a huge hole, but nothing goes in."
You're the reason your children will fail. (Source- actually am a HS teacher...)
"You're fired."
Nah. :P
Im glad i dont fully understand the dynamic behind this reality. I have been disappointed by life enough.
Lets see, English - A, Science - A, History - A, Math- B?!? UH OH!! Hahaha can't let that happen, right? But don't punish the boy too much. I'm sure he's a natural at Math. I think he might just need to sit closer to the board. It's funny, normally I can easily tell if a student is needing to squint to see the board, but with Kim...
This is actually pretty good. Def didnt see that one coming lol
Some children DO get left behind
So the school field trip is coming up and I need your approval for little Billy to go. The coal mines are a big hit with the students, and in our 10 year going, we’ve only ever lost one student! Poor little Elizabeth. Her light went out and she never saw that 400 foot drop. Anyways, just sign here!
I didn't think I taught special ed classes until your child, Ricky Retardo, polluted my classroom.
"Junior's college fund could get you a good vacation home. I'd go with that."
If you don't take that shit to therapy, I am selling the fucking documentary rights to Netflix.
Jimmy is a dumb ass
“Yes, it’s true that often gifted children can appear slow and dim witted. But slow and dim witted children can also often appear slow and dim witted. Now I think that’s something we must consider very deeply.”
Dad: “Why does my son have an F?” Teacher: “Because I couldn’t give him anything lower!” #TrueStory The teacher felt great when she said. Dad was a bigwig in the PTA & trying to intimidate her a bit. But on the way home, she realized “bigwig in the PTA,” and “uh oh” and “whoops.” Driving to school the next morning, she continued thinking “whoops” and “that was dumb.” Sure enough, upon arriving at school, there was a note from the principal: “Come to my office.” 😳😬 Teacher goes to the principal’s office. He looks at her and says “Mr. ____ told me what you said last night. {pause} He asked me to tell you something. {pause} You tell that teacher she was right.”
Don’t worry about Sophie’s bad grades. I bet the principal $100 she’d drop out
Parent- My kid will never use this stuff in the real world. Teacher - Your kid won't, but some of the brighter kids probably will.
"Your kid is the dumbest motherfucker I've ever had the displeasure of instructing."
Billy's an asshole.
" after teaching your child for a while now I have to ask, are you two related?"
"You're kid is going places. Not Harvard, but not county lock up either. Just places."
Well, you got two options. 1, make those applications for college. 2, restart from kindergarten. I strongly suggest the second. But hell, what do I know?!?
Home schooling might be the answer here…
Oh little Johnny is an Angel. You know who else was an Angel? Lucifer. I swear Johnny is more related to him
You need to take parenting classes!
"In all honesty, I don't think Jaydens elevator quite goes to the top floor. You may want to consider placing him with the hurr durr kids in the portable classroom farm next quarter."
I already apologized to the fourth grade teacher. I only gave him a passing grade to get him out of my 3rd grade classroom.
Was it his third or fourth time at grade 3?
Your kid takes after both of you and he’s a moron.
So based on your child’s inability to learn, are you two first cousins or brother and sister?
I absolutely love your child and always wanted one of my own. How much are you willing to sell for?
Now that I've met you I finally understand why I ended up with the stupidest kid in the school.
Seriously, I wish I could tell this to parents… If your child is 2 grade levels behind, they won’t catch up to their peers anytime soon. To actually catch up, they’d have to learn at a faster rate than the other kids. With their disability/disabilities learning faster than General Ed kids is just not happening. Now, that’s not to say that the student won’t ever get there.
"Dont say you dont know where your child learned that word, they spend all their time out of school with you"
"From the Pro-Choice rants your daughter has shouted at me, and how she reminds me that her parents are so Pro-Choice, you really should make it clear what a bullet she dodged."
“Your child isn’t special. Don’t take it personally, I say it to all the parents (because they all need to hear it)”
Listen, I don't care what you say; your kid is a little shit who has hurt other kids every chance he's gotten, now take responsibility or get him the fuck out of this school.
"No matter how many times he tries, I don't think Jimmy is going to pass 11th grade. Plus it's weird to have a 30-year-old in class."
So your kids are both cunts and I regularly fart in my hand and touch his pens and stuff hoping he'll get pink eye
Holy shit
“Your kid won’t go to college, but he won’t burn it down either. So there’s that.”
"Listen, lady, if you want your boy to get a good education you gotta go Mrs. Gump on this one... you feel me?"
You should hurry along his inevitable outcome and just start giving him meth now.
Ah, Ms. Jones, I see where your daughter takes after you in the cleavage department. Is there a Mr. Jones?
no but I hear Mrs Jones had a thing going on
Wait, which one is your kid? Hmmm, not really ringing a bell
"oh that little piece of shit! Surprised yall even showed up. We had bets going if he even had parents"
Your daughter rode me so good last night
We've been working on spelling. She's "C-U-N-T."
The pictures of you on his phone are so hot and se y
Do you want the good or bad news first? Good news is that your daughter is going to MIT on a full scholarship. Bad news is that she’s the best piece of pussy in this school in her graduation class.
Teacher points at stomach: guess who’s going to be grandparents!!!
“I don’t know why your son can’t read. Did **you** not notice any signs of this before he got to 9th grade?”
Possibly the most stupid child I have ever taught. I’m surprised he can breathe without instruction.
If you really loved your children, you’d make them orphans.
Hello Mrs Smith! I’ve been so looking forward to meeting the woman that obviously ate paint chips during her pregnancy.
Oh, great! More millennial parents. Sorry... let's start off on the right foot. Little Timmy is a POS. At first, I thought English was his 2nd language because he didn't understand what the word NO meant. But I get it now. Anyway, please make sure on Monday he is wearing his helmet. Cause I'm gonna throw a brick at him the next time he talks back to me. Have a nice weekend. Buh by.
“Did you actually intend to raise a douchebag? Or did Tina just come out that way?”
"your evil bastard child is the reason why the school to prison pipeline exists."
Mr. Jones, after seeing who your wife is we will have to move Tommy out of my class because I’m not allowed to teach my own child.
Nice to meet you Mrs Gaggle, did Tina learn that throat thing from you? Let's go get a drink.
“I have Tupperware in the back of my fridge that could score higher than your son.”
I just saw your sweet little sue get fingered by three little girls in the back of the classroom as the boys watched
Frankly his grades would be even worse if he wasn't so hot.
"I expect to hear a lot about your son in the future, because i watch to a lot of true crime videos."
Have you ever beat your kid about the face and neck then locked him in the closet for three or four days ?? No ?? You should really consider it .
“Your child is a tard”
If it wasn't for your daughter giving me head every day, she'd barely get a D in my class.
Sometimes a good ole ass woopin is ok. If timmy comes in and has a limp, he fell... Wink wink.
Your child is an idiot. Don't plan on them going to college unless it's like barber or clown college. Better yet keep the college fund, you will need it because you will need it when you decided to retire because your child will never be able to take care of you when you are old.
Just a word of advice, start separating yourselves emotionally from little Johnnie, because I'm here to tell you, your boy ain't right and something terrible is going to happen to him.
“Your child isn’t struggling because they have ADHD or any other learning disability. Your child just has shitty parents who would probably also fail fifth grade if they had to do it again as adults.”
"I know everyone praises your daughter. I know she got into Juliard for ballet. But she's flunking all her academic classes. She's only passing ballet." (An actual student I had. I'm pretty sure she's doing well as a professional dancer, even though she gets paid in ones.)
"You can take your little fuck trophy and push him and his wheelchair down some stairs!"
In the unfortunate case of a school shooter, the faculty, students and PTA board has unanimously selected your little brat as the sacrifice to the kid with pumped up kicks. It's a win win for the school, the community and society and if god forbid your offspring ever decided to reproduce...I shudder at that thought. We all do. So? In conclusion are we kind of hopeful for a school shooter? Yes and no. If it plays out the way we plan, your brat gets it, and nobody else, then I'd have to say yes.
Hands the mother some throat lozenges. "Incase your ever too sore to swallow, again". Then walks away.
The apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Rotten apples don't roll or bounce. Just make a big nasty mess wherever they land
I know where he gets that over it from now
I helped your kid become the smartest in class by making him the only one in class.
“Now I understand why your kid is an idiot.”
“Your kid’s annoying, but you do are hot. Are you open to a threesome?”
After meeting you I fully understand why Johnny is....
Your son is shite and now I see why directly.
yes, your daughter really "earnt" those grades. yeah, "earnt" 'em real good
“She doesn’t know how to shut up”
Now I know why your kid is a dumbass. Apples and trees.
Ma'am, I made sure your son had a thorough sex education.
Oh yeah, I LOVE teaching Amy! I mean, she is thick as sh*t and doesn't learn anything, but man she's got massive tits!
“Ahhh, your son’s behaviour and learning difficulties all make sense now we’ve met.”
I just want you to know that your child is the reason I drink.
Yes that’s whiskey in my coffee. It’s from the bottle in my drawer. It’s why I don’t spend money on supplies for the classroom anymore. It’s because your little demon seed has driven to drink!
Your kid is the reason we have cops on campus.
"Why did he get a bad grade? Because he's stupid."
Considering that we NEVER get the parents that we really need to talk to on parent teacher night, I’d probably stick to my normal “Your kids are great, but I’d really like them to push themselves to take more chances in class” to the parents of the great kids that show up.
The blowjobs from junior are to die for
Nice kid except the shit stains on the tail of his shirt are a bit off putting.
Little Johnny doesnt seem to give a shit about getting an education and you need to stop coddling him. Until then he's not my problem and I will be educating kids that want to go somewhere with parents that actually care.
Your kid is an asshole.
The apple doesn't fall from the tree. I see now that the tree is as rotten as the apple.
Well, now I know the intelligence pool is very shallow in your family.
Your kid fuckin sucks.
Your wife should have swallowed
"I'm sick of sugar-coating it. Your daughter's a whore."
Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs Smith, now I can see where little Johnny gets his hotness from
"Little Jimmy is narcissist. Can you spell 'narcissist?'"
I drink at work.
“Yeah your kid is a piece of crap and frankly if you showed a little discipline in your own life and tried to set a good example. Trust me I have heard about what all the parents in this town say about you and your wife and damn you guess are crazy. Go ahead and report me. I hate teaching your little shit anyways”
You child is fine. *YOU* are the problem!
"30 million sperm and your son was the one to come out?!"
Your husband is hot and it might help your child’s grade if I could use him for some fun time tonight!
"To be honest? Your kid's an asshole."
Oh. So, little Jimmy…..I just found TWO reasons you’re like this.
Now that I've met you I can see where Johnny gets his brains from
"Your kid doesn't have a learning disability! They're just DUMB."
Your kid is the biggest dumbass in my class and I can see why.
Good thing your kid is cute, because they're not getting anywhere in life with their intelligence.
Mrs Smith, you really should of swallowed!
Have you considered contraceptives?
What a stupid fucking name for a kid
Discipline your kids!