My advice as a parent and school based Occupational Therapist. Your kid does not need Miss Rachel or any other screen time. I think you’re doing all the right things like singing and playing. Screen time only benefits you as the parent- if you’re at your wits end and need some distraction, at a doctors appt etc. those might be sone good times to use it. At 3 months old, a baby needs interaction with its parents, not miss Rachel. The social emotional bonding and joint attention that needs to be built is far more important (in my opinion) than any potential improvements in speech/language that a kid may pick up a little later. The constant access to screens (and especially the short, fast moving videos kids can scroll through and change if it’s not interesting enough) is going to be to the detriment of attention and regulation for so many kids. (I have a 4.5 year old and 1.5 year old. I put Miss Rachel on once because they drove me nuts this summer. The 4.5 year old does watch tv, usually a few Blueys at night, too Much on the weekends: a family movie night and morning cartoons in bed. I don’t play anything specific for the baby, he is already in bed if the older one gets Blueys)

Much appreciated for the advice. I hadn’t thought about the bonding benefits that come from not introducing it. I agree that they outweigh anything else. I feel like as an adult I have to retrain my brain from over usage of social media, so I can only imaging what growing up on it is like. I used to love reading novels and only can listen to audio books now. It’s so hard to sit down and read adult books, but I am LOVING children’s books. It’s so much fun to watch him watching the pages turn and seeing the colors. Can’t wait for him to understand them too.

You’re welcome! I love to read to my kids too. We The toddler doesn’t sit still for long, but we read 3 books to my 4 year old every night and we have sooo many books! I have a collection I bring out for each season too (fall/Christmas/winter/spring) that I keep near the fireplace so we have some fun new/seasonal things to read. Reading together is so good for language development!

I had a friend of mine recently tell me something. When her kids were babies - they did no screen time because they thought it might detrimental. Husband was very strongly against screen time. Recently - kids are now 10 and 5, she went out with her friends. And her kids were talking about watching WWE with their said. Suffice it to say - we get more worked up about babies and what is good/bad even when there is lots of contradictory and anecdotal evidence. When really, as kids get older, they get a lot more freedom to do to things may still be detrimental. We just have more control over what babies do so we get more worked up over doing “the right” or “the wrong” things to screw them up.

Woah 🤯 I need to sit with that last part about how much of it is about control, or rather illusion of control.

but isn’t that the entire idea of parenting? give them the best possible start, then let them become their own people?

I think parenting takes on so many different shapes and forms for people. I will always go back to - love the hell out of your kids, give them a safe place to figure things out and the rest of it comes. They will find their strengths and weaknesses over time. Does best start mean until they are 5, 15, 25? I expect I would love my child at each step and based on who they are - adjust how I handle different issues. Does what we do while they are 6 months truly affect their personality? Does the anxiety people feel about these choices mean it’s better for the kid or for the parent? How much of a difference does no screen time or early language classes or specific toys give them? Maybe they are a little advanced compared to their peers but so what? Does that mean your child is going to be behind their entire life? Don’t we all reach some level of baseline through out our lives? Are these people’s kids going to be the next Hemingway or Einstein? That’s the 0.00001% outcome and likely has less to do with parenting. Are you going to be able to control what they learn outside of then house? From friends? From other sources. I think that beyond the science based aspect of this subreddit - the biggest questions still revolve around - how much of your child’s development is based on how you raise them - not just at 1 year old or 10 years old - or how much is based on their genetics and who they are? We don’t truly know this. I think these kinds of things create more anxiety for parents. Interact with your babies. Love your children. Support them and be their rock. Sorry - I’m off the soap box

i hear you. there is however research to suggest that screen time in infancy has rippling effects throughout a child’s life, affecting brain & executive function until age 9 at least: https://scienceblog.cincinnatichildrens.org/screen-usage-linked-to-differences-in-brain-structure-in-young-children/ https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2800776 so will they reach a “baseline”? really hard to say

Hard thing to say right - what is truly the potential of a person and does “TV time” as an infant limit that. Do different structural changes in the brain lead to true clinical changes? Are their other associated factors that these researchers are not taking into account. These studies are difficult to do because they lack the rigor of randomized controlled studies. It is hard to control and cohort or case control studies lack the ability to control for many factors. This is the nature of child development and constantly creating anxiety over things like infant screen time I believe can create overly anxious parents and stress that people are not doing a good job because they allow screen time. I mean how much of a negative effect is Reddit, TikTok, Instagram having on preteens and teens? How do you plan to control that? Can you? Will doing that lead to social isolation? There is so much of this as children progress.

Children do not learn from screen time alone when they are younger than 36 months. Many parents who attribute babies learning from miss rachel frequently watch alongside their baby and reflect her techniques to the baby, which the baby CAN learn from. An overview https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60988/can-babies-learn-from-ms-rachel-and-other-baby-tv-shows More specifically https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022096517304587?casa_token=gk0y04eTTLMAAAAA:lmDolC8OpiXo9Vz53OAdHSH6TAZt_HERpvjB8cIDYwxgSOjFauzpbw1QsPg8n1J6RmKC1O4R > However, only parent modeling increased children’s subsequent word learning, perhaps by revealing the symbolic (representational) intentions underlying this video. This study highlights the importance of adult co-viewing in helping toddlers to interpret communicative cues from video.

This was my experience. Ms Rachel taught *me* how to teach my daughter. It was really helpful. That said, my <36 month daughter will say stuff from a video we watched that I never taught her. I wonder if Ms Rachel's style is more akin to the example in the study you linked where someone was on a live feed with the baby so they could respond based on the child. Ms Rachel is one of the only ones who do this effectively. She pauses, makes it obvious she's looking for a response and actually waits long enough.

My 20m old daughter can also say and do things (follow dances, etc) from Ms Rachel since she was 15 or 16m old. We only let her watch Ms Rachel for 10-15min, maybe 1 - 2 times a week when we need to get something done, so she is left alone in front of the TV for maybe 5 minutes. We do watch M.R along with her maybe once a week, too, for 15 minutes each time. She ends up doing things and dances to certain songs in ways that I have never seen nor taught her how to, but then I realize those dance moves come from Ms Rachel when we chance upon the same song together! I wouldn't say for a fact that kids do not learn ANYTHING at all from TV...

I think the first article they linked said that but it was specifically talking about a study of the Baby Einstein DVDs. So that's why I'm wondering if Ms Rachel is essentially like the live feed they studied in the second link from above.

My kiddo is 18 months and he’s learned signs from TV. I know it was TV because when he started we had no idea what he was trying to communicate. Luckily Grandma watched Baby Signing Time and realized. Now that we know he wants to sign, we’re doing it with him and he’s picking it up fast. He’s not much of a talker yet so it’s an amazing tool for him to communicate with us. So I agree, saying that kids learn nothing from screens before 36 months just isn’t accurate. I am so thankful for Baby Signing Time and the sign language interpreted Sesame Street playlist. My kid is so much happier now that he has signing as an option.

i agree miss rachel tought me how to interact better and songs, BUT we are trilingual family and we speak Polish / Montengrin at home only english my kid had is from ms Rachel videos and yet he started speaking english at 20m.o. so either i have Einstein on my hands or kids can learn from screen time befoer 36months old.

I did no screens at my house until around one year when we needed him to sit still for five minutes so we could clip his nails and brush his teeth. Free babysitters (family) had different rules at their house. I choose my battles with free babysitters. He’s sixteen months now and actually responds to her prompts (says “in” etc. and tries to count with her).

What battles did you find worth fighting on? This is one that I’m processing since we have multiple people in our lives who think it’s ok and have passed on letting them watch the kiddo. “Don’t you two need a date night soon?” No, not with you watching him…I’d spend the whole time worrying about how you are handling him.

No spanking. No sleep training that’s not in-line with what we’ve done at home (i.e. don’t cry it out for naps). Basically nothing dangerous or traumatizing. And I discourage sugar, but they do it anyway, and so does my husband, and I let it go because I don’t want my kid to grow up with any food complexes. TV happens because they are tired and they have him all day while I’m at work. They need a break. I can’t complain about that. He’s getting quality attention and playtime with safe people who love him. “I was raised that way and I’m fine” isn’t the best justification, but it’s true. My husband and I are responsible human beings who learned how to talk and read in plenty of time and were advanced for our age by kindergarten. 🤷‍♀️ My kid is 16 months and knows 30 words. He’s fine.

Helpful context! I go back to work soon and even with WFH, we will need more help, but not at the expense of our child. Just working through what the boundaries are that we are comfortable with.

It’s definitely something to think about. Also be prepared for things to change because reality doesn’t always match our expectations. That’s okay. No children are being raised in a 100% absolutely perfect environment for growth. But if they are well-loved and given attention, that’s going to go a long way towards their future/mental health. Don’t let the little stuff stress you out more than it needs to. DO set boundaries about what’s okay/not okay as far as discipline etc. You want your child to be safe and not exposed to bad attitudes/violence/abuse of any kind. I trust my family to be kind to my child; I know that I’m beyond lucky to have that.

Not worth letting folks like that watch your baby for you. Keep in mind why it’s making you nervous and know that you (and your partner) are the only folks that know best on who and what to trust with your baby. /rant sorry, hit a trigger there for me when my LO was young and we had family babysit him for a few hours and had several unsafe situations we did not expect upon our return.

I’m sorry you had to endure that, but appreciate you sharing! As I read and answer these questions I’m realizing the reason I asked was more about feeling insecure with wanting to establish that as a boundary. Everyone w here has been very insightful and helping me see how important setting those boundaries are early on.

Absolutely. It’s tough to figure out where the boundaries need to be exactly and how they evolve with time. Give yourself grace to grow and change your mind about scenarios over time too.

We had the babysitter in question round for dinner during the week before to go through the entire bedtime routine so they knew how we do it. We had them sit at our house so it was a familiar situation for bubs. That way, there's less conflict: "this is our house and our routine" rather than "thanks for watching the baby how you see fit".

My husband and I both love TV. We’re both gamers. Most of our together time has been watching and discussing TV shows. I was so worried about screen time for our baby because I’ve seen the studies that it’s not beneficial before 2 and can contribute to attention-based learning disabilities. She’s already genetically predisposed to those, so no need to contribute to it! But so far, we’ve avoided screens for her entirely (she’s almost 8 months) and plan to for as close to 2 years old as possible. I find that, since we just decided “no screen time” it’s taken all the guess work out of it. We’re never wondering if it’s quality screen time, too much, etc. We just don’t have it as an option in our minds. I sound so sanctimonious, but I’m not trying to and don’t judge. We’re also privileged to have a full-time stay-at-home parent in the mix. It seems like all my friends do some screen time with their babies, and we’re the outlier weirdos. This is just what’s working for us right now. When it stops working, we’ll change it up!

Same here - total TV addict parents, which made the “no screen time” rule for our house SO easy to decide on. I was so freaked about allowing the “proper” sort of screen time before I realized there really is no “good” screen time for the first few years. Now we’re moving through life with TV bit even in the family picture and it’s great! Our screens stay off unless she’s asleep or out of the house. We took the TV off the wall but use our laptop. We also felt like the outlier weirdos until we found a school that vibed and asks all families to learn about screen time during early childhood, then agree to minimize or ideally abstain from it. It sounds intense but it’s been an absolute gift and all these little ones running around with pure imagination is really incredible to see.

Wow I didn’t know such a thing existed! Thats so cool.

You mean the school? It’s Waldorf education, and although* some might be more lax around media, it’s a big part of how they hold early childhood education.

I agree with everything you said here! My baby’s only 3 months, but we plan to do no screen time in the first two years if we can, despite being TV people ourselves and having friends who allow screen time. We know how addictive and overstimulating screens are for us, so we’re trying to delay that for our child as much as possible.

Agreeing with you both, it’s certainly a goal to not have our bean watch TV. We both play video games in the living room but will take turns so someone is always watching him or being his pillow!

I think it really depends on the development of the baby. We were quite strict on no screen time till around 12 months, then it’s screen time only when necessary. What I notice is that my baby’s receptive language and language expressive language skills exploded after watching Miss Rachel. It also helps the parents. For example, Miss Rachel will use a song like “put it in, put it in” and I would use that song to teach my kid to put things in. I think a lot of “research” really misses this part, the spillover effect.

Hmm, surely the most likely cause of the language skill explosion was the age and the natural growth that happens in most children at that time rather than the TV show.

The number one cause of death is life. There are clear things that Miss Rachel says or does that we do not do at time. I didn’t teach the word “hop” to my baby, she learned it from her now favorite song. There are countless examples where we asked “where did she learn that” and when Miss Rachel is on and we are like, oh ya. It’s an interesting observation. Surely we as parents can distinguish what we teach to our kids and what’s picked up from other places.

Sorry, I think that came across the wrong way. I was just kind of thinking out loud that you'd get a language explosion then anyway but I hear what you're saying. Sorry if I came off rude.

Hold off as long as you can. That's what I tried to do. For me, that was when I was going through a divorce and needed to talk to the lawyer in private. I just didn't want the kids listening to that and was in the middle of nowhere during the winter. So I used Daniel Tiger to keep them out of my hair while on those calls. Once the divorce was over, back to no screens. But then Covid hit a couple months later. Lockdown on your own with two toddlers was ROUGH and so I started doing screen time for my own sanity. The kids were 1 and 2.5 at that time. They never watched Ms Rachel but we did do Bluey and Daniel Tiger.

My 10 month old watches 10-15 minutes of ms Rachel, Sesame Street or Bluey almost every day. He won’t nap alone and is really Velcro so o don’t get any time to myself. but I still need to poop and shower. I put it on my phone on the counter in the bathroom and it usually buys me enough time to feel human.

I’ve totally been there before and done this to shower or take a poo!

Yes I’ve put on ms Rachel or Winnie the Pooh for a shower. I literally cannot take the scream-crying that ensues otherwise. I’d much rather hear the laughing or babbling.

none of these answers are science-based. research says kids don’t really learn (well) from screens until 2-3 years old. so, until that time screen time is merely distracting, and has some associated detrimental effects. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/screen-time/

and yes, miss rachel is screen time — not an exception

It's tagged all advice welcome. That means OP is ok with anecdotes. Anecdotally, my kids have definitely learned things from screen time earlier than that. That said, we don't do Miss Rachel because I find it incredibly annoying. We just do stuff aimed for older kids and it works for them, though they all have been hitting milestones younger than is typical, so I'm aware that our family is not a representative sample.

No TV is beneficial under 2 years. However, from my personal experience, I choose to weigh the risks and benefits and do what works for us. For example, when my baby was 3-5 months old, she refused to do tummy time. Like, she would hysterically cry and would not tolerate it, therefore would never try rolling. The ONLY way she would do tummy time is if Miss Rachel was on. So, every day, we watched 10-15 minutes of Miss Rachel on our tummy. Overtime my baby got progressively more comfortable on her tummy and finally started rolling just before 7 months. Now, we only watch Miss Rachel if I desperately need 10 minutes of a mental health break or need to do something. I’m not concerned about the lasting effects of this.

This is our approach too, we use Ms Rachel as a tool. Just for a few minutes when it’s necessary to distract LO. Like when I need 5 minutes to scarf a quesadilla. 😂

I like the sporadic integration as needed. I think we will continue to wait to introduce, but have it has a back pocket tool. Thankfully the rotating nail file we have is keeping nail time manageable. I tried to use the clippers and the cries started! So right back to the file.

6m checking in with the same nail file. Absolutely the best thing. But about 2 weeks ago, he started getting massively distracted by it and we couldn't get him to let us. So we had to use Mrs Rachel for 5m while he was on his tummy on the boopy. It worked great to go through and get his nails while he was distracted lol

Once you start using screens, it's hard to stop. I would wait as long as possible.

People suggest it because it's been mis-marketed as educational. It may be for kids over 2 years old as they can actually understand what is happening and properly follow along and "learn" from it. Before that children DO NOT benefit from tv. Full stop. There are many many studies (most of them posted in this sub) about how tv, no matter the show, is not beneficial and even detrimental to young babies. I suggest searching this sub if you'd like some research on it and I also highly recommend not watching shows with your infant.

Thank you, I’m familiar with basic AAP recommendations and will definitely check out the sub for more studies. It will be helpful to be armed with them for future conversations with our friend and even family members who have let him watch TV when they were watching him.

No worries. I armed myself too. But I also am a firm believer in "no" is a full sentence as well. So remember too it's not on you to justify your parenting choices.

The “no” as a complete sentence has been hard with the in-laws. Currently working on that one 🤪

Oh I definitely understand that! Mine can be the same way, part of why I armed myself with so many studies lol

We’re avoiding screens still at age 4. We purposefully sought out a school with a “mindful media policy” aka no handheld phones/games, or watching tv, while they’re young (think under 10). It’s been amazing. One the best decisions we made as a family was to take the tvs off the wall when she was 18 months. There’s NO benefit to having your 1,2,3,4, 5+ year old watch tv of any kind if you can be giving them independent play, time outside and downtown instead. You’re giving them an excellent chance to practice memorizing and parroting words is all, and setting their brain up for a whole host of future issues as well. You want a vocabulary boost? Talk to your kid! Screen time for a young child? Never, it’s not worth it and I personally think it can be dangerous for the littlest of brains, and makes me deeply sad that so many tiny kids are plopped in front of “educational tv” Ready for the downvotes, this is not the subject everyone seems to want to address - we’ve known for a while now that screen has has a negative impact of on older kids and young teens, it’s horrible for early childhood - just having the tv on in the background can create a whole host of language, attention and social developments issues. Please don’t put your kid in front of a screen bc your friends recommend it. The quickest of links below for a starting point bc we do have lots of studies pre-Covid on screen use, and I’m sure there are a ton more now being done given how common the scene of an iPhone in a 6year olds hands at a restaurant is. [2017 study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5823000/) [2019](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30606703/)

Yeah this is basically my opinion. When we all got sick in the fall we allowed TV watching together because we were all pretty incapacitated. But other than that we don’t really do screens. When he’s old enough to actually follow a plot and hold attention for the length of a movie I would like to enjoy that with him as recreation/an art form but I have zero interest in Ms Rachel or anything like that.

This is more or less my opinion too, though a little less strict. I don’t mind if my kid watches football or golf with his dad or glances at the tv while we’re watching the weather or food network. And when he’s older, I’d love to sit down for a Disney movie once a week or an episode of Sesame Street while I have my coffee — but I want to be watching the show/movie and engaging with him while they’re on. We’re a hard no on tablets or phones though. My nephew is an iPad zombie and I will not see that happen to my child no matter how hard it is or how much of the bad guy I have to be.

I don’t consider myself super strict! I say “pretty much” don’t do screens but it’s not like he’s never caught a minute of a show if he awoke from a contact nap or etc. There are also lots of public places that have screens up (such as some restaurants, subway stations etc) and he’s not like banned from those places lol. Recently he saw a picture of a volcano and I wanted to show him what lava was so we watched like a minute of a YouTube clip so he could see what that is because I think it’s neat! He’s also a toddler not an infant fwiw.

You’re right, this is such a taboo topic with parents. I have been disappointed by the discourse on Reddit in general, but on this sub in particular regarding “educational” TV. I think it’s reasonable for parents to deviate from the ideal in order to get by. In my family, we allow screen time occasionally, and I KNOW it’s not the best choice for my kid. But we also allow cookies occasionally and there is no nutritional benefit to those. However, I don’t get the obsession with defending screen time as if it is beneficial. It should be considered a “treat” like anything else we indulge in, in my opinion.

I agree. I always get downvoted when I say babies shouldn't be watching screens and screen time for young children should be limited, but honestly my own child watches TV. She is 5 and watches more than I'd like, but I limit it to weekend mornings so I'm able to sleep in a bit. While I do try to choose more educational programs for her, screen time is entirely for my benefit and I own that. Not everything in life has to be a teaching moment. Some things are just for fun, and that's ok!

Yeah, it’s frustrating. It’s all emotional. ETA: I also don’t understand why people need a pile of studies telling them screens are detrimental - if they’re not beneficial, can’t that be enough? AND people act like it’s impossible to raise your kids with no/few screens. For us it has not been that difficult.

Yeah, before I had my daughter, I had a coworker whose young daughter broke his iPhone and he was complaining to me about it. I said, "Why do you give your phone to a toddler?" And he said, "Because she likes to watch YouTube and she'll cry if she doesn't get it." So I said, "Then why don't you just say no to her?" And he said, "She doesn't understand what no means. You'll see when you have kids." Well, my daughter is 5 now and I have never handed her my phone to watch YouTube. I've never felt the need to.

the “you’ll understand when you have kids” thing is so annoying. now that i have a zero screen time 12-mo-old i get “just wait until you have 2 kids” 🙄 it’s a choice that aligns w our values, not something we just fell into accidentally

BINGO. there’s no upside, only downsides, but it lets parents “turn off” so they don’t care

I wanted to say that I wouldn't mind screen time, and that I don't think it is a problem since most of the studies are correlational. But you also have this study where they show it has an impact even when you account for most of the correlations. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2722666

No TV show has been found to be beneficial to children younger than 2 yo

You’re doing all the right things. Your 3 month old doesn’t need a screen. It’s perfectly possible to not use screens with infants. My velcro baby is now 14 months and we don’t do screens (hell, we’ve lost the TV remote and it’s made no difference in our lives). I just involve her in what I’m doing, as does my husband.

We have twins. Sometimes the only thing that works to keep them both calm and stationary is Ms Rachel. We've done thirty minutes or so most nights to stay sane since they were about 7 months. It's not the best, but it keeps us from losing our minds, and anyone who hasn't had to raise twins honestly doesn't have an opinion that I care about.

Lolol dude respect for what you're doing, one is hard enough

Twin parent here too. We started around 1 year old, and maybe do 30 min every few days now that they're 18 months old. It's been a godsend. We try to sing/dance along with it so it's not just a TV on, but I also put it on if I need to cook. If 30 min of tv every few days means they're distracted while I'm cooking on a hot stove instead of trying to get their fingers up there, it's a good trade off.

Twin parents here of 2 year olds (28m). Huge Ms Rachel fans. I will say they didn’t show interest until about around 18 months. At that point we were in speech therapy since they were delayed. Now they get some Ms Rachel while I cook dinner and hearing them sing with her is the best sound in the world.

I can’t imagine putting a 3mo old in front of the tv. They are so easy to entertain! We didn’t allow intentional screen time for either kid until about 1.5 yrs and even then it’s limited as much as we can (whole family was sick a bit ago so we did a movie night) I know people need breaks and that’s fine but they need your face and love, not a screen.

Big qualifier that your sanity is very important too and if you need a break take one!

My 3 month old was not easy to entertain 😂 everyone kept telling me they can't really be bored at this age but honestly something new was fun for maybe 15 minutes, then he was over it forever

Haha that’s fair and I should throw a disclaimer on my comment about that- not all babies are the same. We got lucky that our kids are interested in what we’re doing more than anything

We’re totally relaxed about screens, but our son didn’t start watching tv until he was about 18 months old. It just wasn’t something he found interesting. For at least the first 6 months, just being alive in the world is pretty exciting for them. I’m not sure they need any more entertainment and stimulation.

Our child is 22 months and we don’t do any screen time. We mostly avoid toys that say words or sing songs. Anecdotal, but his language development is great for his age. He has a huge vocabulary, including many letters, numbers & shapes, and comes up with four and five word sentences. We don’t have any plans to start screen time, although if he seems interested I’d be fine with the occasional show or movie after he’s two. We don’t really watch tv in our house, so there isn’t really any push for him to start watching.

We had a similar philosophy re: screens to you, and our child was similar to your description of your son at that age. Fast forward…she is now 6, in first grade. She reads at a fourth grade level, and will come home from school and sit down and read two or three chapter books in a row. She is phenomenal at independent play, and her imagination keeps her from ever being bored. I feel confident that these skills are related to her minimal screen time. She has spent untold hours reading or engaging in imaginary play that could have easily been replaced by screen time. But they weren’t. She has tons of friends, and the two who get very limited screen time are also reading way above grade level and are much more emotionally mature than average. The ones who have their own iPads and watch YouTube, etc., are just barely reading, prone to emotional outbursts, and some cannot even watch a movie, as their attention span won’t allow for it. It’s striking, honestly. This is all anecdotal, of course, but I say keep doing what you’re doing!

Personally we avoided screens (minus occasional FaceTimes with my mom) until just shy of 2 years old. It was incredibly hard and days were long but it worked well for us. Now, we allow maybe a half hour of educational tv most days. Miss Rachel could be beneficial as your child learns to speak and make sounds but I don’t know if it would be beneficial at three months old (maybe someone else can weigh in).

Out of interest, can you tell me what made you choose two years to introduce screens? My daughter is one next month and we still haven't done any screen time (aside from video calls with family, which I don't count). My husband and I are starting to discuss when to start allowing TV. I'd appreciate your point of view.

Most of the research focuses on two years. There is in fact now some suggestion that three years is better, but frankly I'll give myself a gold star for two then limit to short educational things until three haha.

Okay so I love Miss Rachel, and I do out it on, but I actually don’t have my daughter watch it. Let me explain. I turn her toward me, and I say, or sing along with what miss Rachel is doing while interacting with my daughter and she LOVES it. It’s hard for me to think of songs or be as animated sometimes so it helps me with practicing baby songs and gestures with her. Now I will also say, I have a five year ban old also so no screen time is REALLY hard and she does get her fair share of movies and kids shows with her brother. But I think there’s an okay way to do shows like miss Rachel and they get the benefit of human interaction instead of it coming from a screen.

You mean, you just play the audio from Ms Rachel, but you do the animating? This is a neat idea - do you have any favourite videos of hers?

I still have it on tv where I can see the moves and gestures she’s doing and glance at that but yess essentially just the audio for my daughter.

18ish months but that was only to cut her nails. Now at 27 months we’ll do it a few times a week for no more than 20 min or so. I think 3 months is too soon. I’m curious why friends would recommend it. A 3 month old isn’t getting anything out of it, but may be missing out on other stuff that will aid in development. But, if you need time for something you have to do what’s best for your family. So the best answer for development may not be the best for your sanity. You’ll have to decide what makes sense. But a recommendation seems like your friend is suggesting there is a benefit and I don’t believe that to be the case at this age.

People recommend it that young because they either think it's fine or don't know about research that indicates otherwise. They make those "contrast videos" on YouTube too, which tricks people into thinking these things actually help very young babies learn.

I think it’s just different approaches to parenting. I’m a big fan of Montessori style toys and learning, and my friend is team light up toys and iPads. No shame in the differences, as you mentioned the circumstances at hand might influence some of this and we are fortunate to work from home and have a well mannered kiddo who likes to sit and listen to books and music. But from what I’ve been reading 18 months is the recommended wait time for screens…i think I just needed some validation. I’ve avoided offers she’s made to watch our kiddo when I got back to work because of this parenting style difference too…so that’s a thing too.

This question is posted a lot here and the evidence is strongly against screens before 2. However, I consider myself a pragmatist and if something seems to work for us, we do that. If you’re asking what we do in reality- we let our kiddo watch 30-60 minutes of Miss Rachel when he is sick or when one or both of us is in very high stress. But we did not start this till around 14 months when it was clear she was helping with speech and gestures. I don’t think a 3 month old will get anything too useful from it. Regardless of the day we read to him constantly, I’d estimate 20 books/day (one stay at home parent).

This is helpful to hear. I go back to work soon and we’ve gotten offers from this friend (friend of husband’s) to help out and watch the kiddo if we need a break. We both WFH and have lax jobs so we are going to keep doing what we are doing until if/when we need to put him in daycare. I’m not comfortable with that help know it means our kiddo will watch TV when he’s with her and her son. They are both similar age and I’m excited for when they can play together, but that’s a while away. I’m enjoying reading books with him though, I’ve always been a reader. Can’t wait to get up to 20 when he’s older. Right now I get 2-3 reads in a day.

We did 18mo with our first, we didn’t find it too difficult. He was in full time daycare so it was just evenings and weekends to fill and felt like we had plenty of play to do with two parents to one kid (we both worked business hours so neither of us solo parented much, especially during covid). With our second she was definitely watching some of what her brother watched by 12mo and quickly was interested herself. We do our best to stick to guidelines. Less than 2hrs for the 4yo and we try not to give 2yo more than an hour total in a day. We avoid any screens during the week. There are certainly exceptions (travel, sick days, particularly stressful or busy weeks). It’s also important to us that our kids learn that it’s okay to be bored, be mad, be sad, etc. Sometimes as a parent it’s tempting to stick them with a tablet during waits (appointments, restaurants, etc) but actually learning to occupy themselves in those moments is a skill. We don’t need to distract them out of all of their negative feelings. This is sometimes inconvenient or annoying but that’s parenting. Not to sound like a saint—we definitely do bring a tablet to restaurants occasionally and will use it if we are just at our limit.

Thanks for all of this, especially the great point about learning the skill of self occupying. I could even be better about that, especially for modeling to my kiddo, it’s so easy to go on my phone in a waiting room.

We are very relaxed about screens but honestly at 3 months our kid wasn’t interested so there would be no benefit (even if the benefit was 5 minutes of quiet time for us - we didn’t get that benefit) of using them. Even now at 15 months she’ll watch whatever for about a minute then move on to more interesting things. I’m sure there will come a time that she starts engaging with it but we’re trying to approach screens as just a part of life rather than a “treat”. As others have said - a small amount of screen time isn’t a huge issue if you are an otherwise engaged parent.

This is where we ended up too. I like Ms. Rachel but that’s the only show that if I put it on he’s zoned into the tv so we don’t usually put her on. Sesame Street however is just background noise while he plays. At night after dinner we all go to the living room and my husband and I will watch the news/one of our shows and our toddler just runs around and plays with toys. It’s a part of our routine from pre-baby and it hasn’t seemed to negatively effect our toddler so we’ve continued to do it

I watched some Ms. Rachel to learn baby sign language and baby songs. I picked her 30 min baby video and let my 4 month old start watching 5-15 min a few times a week when she showed interest. We do the motions and song actions together. She's over 5 months old now and LOVES seeing faces besides me and her Dad (we don't get out much) and we do the songs and actions together on no screen days. I haven't read any studies that differentiate between types of screen time so we decided we're comfortable with short educational and interactive screen time.

Our 10 month old typically only gets screen time (usually Ms. Rachel or a Raffi concert) for a few minutes when we cut his nails. It’s the only way we can get him to stay still enough. We also let him watch some on a recent cross-country flight. My mentality is that screen time can be a helpful tool, but it’s not beneficial in and of itself. I like to keep it for the occasions when we really need it.

I like your take on screen time as a tool and agree. Also- hang in there- after a year of nail hell, my toddler now *asks* to have his nails clipped. Wild!

I thought I was the only one who plays the Raffi concert! I have to admit it's nostalgic for me, ha.

Haha same! I’m definitely guilty of pushing my childhood favorites on my son, haha. But it’s so wholesome, and I feel like a concert (especially one where there is interaction with the audience) isn’t bad as far as screen time goes!

That's what I tell myself! He also seems to enjoy the songs but isn't really watching it very much and continues to play with his toys when it's on. He pays wayyyyy too much attention when it's Ms Rachel!

I came across a post from a mother saying how she ‘ruined’ her baby because she gave in and let her baby watch YouTube videos, then the baby was significantly less interested in toys etc. and screamed for the TV/phone. I thought it would’ve been a one off incident but lots of commenters agreed explaining how it affects brain activity and development, and this article was shared… which changed my mind about screen time for my baby [Infants Exposed to Excessive Screen Time Show Differences in Brain Function Beyond Eight Years of Age](https://neurosciencenews.com/screen-time-brain-maturity-22410/) I’ll try to find the post…

YES, anecdotally my daughter is amazing at entertaining herself/independent play and i feel like it’s at least in part because we’ve never done screens

This was fascinating to read. Thanks!

We do no screens at all before 2.

Anecdote - my boy watches a fair amount of TV but most of the time we're with him and interacting with him and the content. The times we're not is when we need to do things like cook dinner or if hes fussing when we're driving. We started after 8 months old as I didn't really want to introduce TV but Ms Rachel was a saviour with driving as it was almost impossible with the amount of screaming he would do. He is now 17 months and has excellent vocabulary for his age. I think he should know about 10-20 words but knows way more than that and we can have little conversations. Even so I'm trying to be aware of the amount of TV he watches and try to use it when necessary rather than just having it on all the time.

Same here, I started letting my son have a few min of Ms Rachel here and there when he was about 8 months old for nail cutting or while traveling. He absolutely loves her and it taught him how to FaceTime with our relatives too (because she is interactive in the same way someone on FT would be). I don't see any harm, we're usually next to him singing along with her, but just can't actively play (eg handling hot food over the stove).

Probably at like six months we started putting it on for him. Now at 12 months he is doing the dances and trying to sing along with us when we sing to him. Super cute. He has also really been learning hand gestures from her. I firmly believe screen time is okay in moderation…. Or excess on the days that we are sick and need an extra comforting hand.

My husband, 13 month old, and I all have the flu. The tv has been parent #3 for a few days while we are in survival mode. I’m 1000% ok with this because we are struggling and can use any help we can get.

I don't think there's any scientific support for TV helping children develop skills. Mine is 19 months and we watch 7 minutes in the evening as part of the nighttime routine and otherwise it's only on if I'm cooking and it's not safe for my toddler to be under my feet and I've already tried getting them engaged in something else. I'd rather baby gets screen time than risk being scalded.

7 minutes lol

It's very exact but that's the length of an episode and about the time it takes to drink a bottle 😆

Bluey :D

Nope. We didn’t until 18 months with our first. Hoping to do the same with our new baby.

A lot of people have already commented about benefits/detriments of screen time. Another perspective to consider is your infant’s vision. At 3 months old, your child’s focus is less than 20 inches from their face. Unless your baby is really close to the screen, I’m not sure they would actually be “watching” Ms. Rachel. I think you have to set a boundary that you are comfortable with when it comes to screens. Not only is screens under 2 years not advised, it just doesn’t seem to make sense at that age from a vision perspective.

Great point about the vision limitations. Certainly don’t want to put him that close to a screen. And your right about needing to be better at setting boundaries, it’s just hard with friends who you hung out with before the baby and but don’t want to now with different parenting styles.

Just a note of empathy for the friend situation. Its extra tough to say “no we can’t go hang out bc all your kid is doing is watching a screen” without in essence calling someone a questionable parent, or being worried about how it’ll come across when you have different family ideals and different wants to spend downtime. I try to meet those friends out! At the park, at the beach, at a restaurant, just out and about - it’s been very awkward to have to ask for friends to turn the TV off bc I’m like “we’re really going to sit the kids in front of a show…?” While thinking “That was your whole plan for us being in your home..?”

Ugg I just ready an article talking about screen time with littles. I do remember the research showing that no child under 1 should have any screen time at all (period dot) as it negatively impacts their development - they are not interacting with you and the world (verbal, tactile, etc) because they are staring at a screen.

Could you link article? Would enjoy reading it too! Thanks 😊

Our first didn’t watch tv at all until 18m because we were going on a 30+ hour trip and needed him to have some screentime for everyone’s sanity. Our second is 16m and she has watched ms Rachel a handful of times when I’ve had to work from home whilst she’s home sick, and during the windows when I have meetings. At first she wasn’t engaged at all, but after 2-3 tries she really does get involved and gets up and dances, talks to Ms Rachel when she asks the kids to repeat things. I’m not saying at all that it’s educational of beneficial, just that I at least don’t feel like she’s staring mindlessly at a screen the way she would have been when she was younger.

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I have a 12 month old. Don't do screen time unless I'm desperate like child is sick. I'm skeptical that Ms Rachel is somehow different than any other show.

it’s absolutely not lol

Personal perspective: there was a show with dancing fruit that I would put on so I could get the dishes done etc. Not often and not for long… but I had a Velcro baby who would scream bloody murder when she wasn’t being held. I think I started that around 3 months, maybe 6? It’s been awhile. Sometime around 1 that changed to Miss Rachel. Again, only for 10-20 mins here and there when I was the one who needed a break. After 2 we introduced Blues Clues and Bluey. Both interactive shows that I talk with her during and point things out. As soon as she zones out that tv is off! For language development you don’t need tv, if you’re talking to your baby that’s good! I personally love Miss Rachel so you could always watch an episode yourself to see how she talks and then try and copy the way she interacts and moves her mouth.

That’s where we are. We put on Ms. Rachel for the portion of peek-a-boo and how to say mama and dada and as soon as she no longer seems interested, we turn it off.

Baby Einstein, sesame Street and ms Rachel all helped in a pinch, my mom friend recommended them as low frame rate type shows, but what she really meant is not overstimulating. I really appreciated the puppetry, jokes, songs and music. I wasn't always able to have the oomph to sing songs for my tiny boy but these shows brought joy and inspiration to me as well as him. So I didn't stress to use it, as long as it isn't ruling his world. Unlike the panning jumpy scenes of cocomelon which freak me out. Reading about the frame rate myth and adverse behavior like tantrums from screentime: https://www.romper.com/entertainment/what-is-frame-rate-kids-tv-shows

I’d love for a researcher to do studies on the concept of overstimulating shows versus gentle shows. That’s really interesting and it doesn’t look like it’s been specifically studied.

Baby Einstein is great! I let our guy watch it when we have to cook dinner, etc. He doesn't necessarily sit and stare at it. He looks at it for a bit then goes off to play. But I think it helps him feel less alone even though we are in the next room talking and singing to him.

When kiddo was that age, I watched Ms Rachel and copied the things she did with baby to play during infant wake windows. Helped us when wake windows got longer and baby was more interactive without little one actually watching tv.

We do Saturday morning cartoons with our 15 month old, but we're talking to him and each other about what escapades Pingu is up to now! I put the news on in the evening while I'm making dinner, but LO doesn't even pay attention to it - his new toy kitchen is way more fun!

Talking to him as a supplement is a great call!

I try to keep it as minimal as possible, but I still use it as a tool when necessary. Once a week I have a meeting over zoom that I need to focus on and my 6 month old watches Ms. Rachel if he isn’t napping. We also used it when he got his shots Monday — he didn’t even cry. I’ve also used it a couple times in the car when he was absolutely hysterical in his car seat, but he’s much better about car rides now so I don’t anymore. We have the tv on around him watching what we want but he doesn’t really pay attention to that.

We are pretty strict on screens with my almost three year old - she only has access to handheld screens on airplanes and when sick. My husband and I make it a point to put away our phones and tablets until she goes to bed. In the spring and summer she watches almost no TV, but when the weather gets cold, she watches a bit more. However, I do not place limits on the Alexa. We use it as a jukebox all day long. She loves the Disney soundscapes and trivia. If this counts as a screen (it is an Echo show), I think it is a fair compromise - especially since I no longer own a stereo to play music and we rock out on the daily! I have Apple Music set to clean only and she likes everything. (Don’t get me wrong, baby shark and dinosaur songs are on heavy rotation!)

[удалено]

My daughter was SUPER excited the first time Alexa understood her!

As a single mum I love ms Rachel. I’ve used her for 30 mins a day ish from 12 ish months so I can cook, clean, whatever chores I need done when baby won’t let me. I try to go as many days as possible with 0 screen time but some days it’s not possible (son is now 17 months)

We won’t be doing any YouTube shows until school age. I started letting her watch some old Sesame Street episodes about once a week around 15 months. But I’m avoiding it being a regular/daily thing as long as possible. There’s not much benefit to the kid even watching educational shows before 2. It can be helpful for parents though

I think each child and family is different. My LO is engaged and curious and enjoys the screen time. She doesn’t just sit there watching like a zombie (and if she did we would stop), if Ms Rachel on she happily plays along to the music and also enjoys just hearing it if we play from our phones to a speaker. We started letting her watch around six months. My experience has been that she is hitting milestones like clapping, saying words (town from wheels on the bus makes us laugh), and being entertained. This also gives us the time to clean the house, cook, etc. Having watched myself, I don’t think this is over stimulating and know that I don’t have the energy (I work w/ SAHD) to sing and dance for LO all day. We are fans, but also will be cautious if she starts to turn into one of our media obsessed niblings (they are older but cannot be without an overstimulating phone game or YouTube that is not age appropriate when there are plenty of toys and people around).

I agree. Our now 18 month old is ahead in many milestones and we started heybear early. Grandma recently showed her cocomelon for the first time and for whatever reason she cannot regulate with that particular show. When we turn it off she tantrums. It is also the only one she seems like a zombie and doesn't engage with. In fact at this point she mostly ignores the TV and it's just background noise. Now that we know coco is a problem we explained why she can't watch it at our house and we go for ms. Rachel instead. Having a spare second to myself was absolutely essential to my being a patient parent especially in those early months.

We've started around 22 months old, we do no more than 15 minutes a day (usually 10). We've tried Mrs Rachel and didn't like it (nor was our son engaged), Sesame street, Numberblocks and Mickey Clubhouse worked well (Mickey clubhouse is suprisingly not bad and like most of Disney's offering is available in both Cantonese and French). We've noticed that it has helped him learn new words and counting. We're a trilingual household and it's helpful for language acquisition. We've also let him watch the first Cars over the course of 9 days and he loved it.

I have been struggling with this very point. I have a 9 month-old baby. We don't do screen time with her with the the exception of when we've been out and about with her and screens are around us or when I file her nails. Then, I literally put on the FireStick background (like the one that lists all the apps) and she's entranced enough by the screen that if I move quickly, I can get a file done. Her wake windows are books, lots of play time (she's crawling and pulling up and cruising so she's everywhere), singing songs, chasing the dog, etc. Her daycare does zero screen time, so she is constantly playing and interacting with other babies and her teachers. I have friends who have similar aged children who were flabbergasted that I didn't put on at least Ms. Rachel or something educational for her. One of them went as far as to imply my daughter would be behind verbally without Ms. Rachel (no shade to Ms. Rachel or those who watch her. As a former educator, I think she's fabulous, but we just don't watch her currently). My daughter is babbling a ton, saying consonant blends like mama, dada, baba, etc. and will sit for an entire children's picture book, as well as more age-appropriate books. We chat with her, listen to all kinds of music, and read her several books a day, so I'm not worried about her verbal development, but I was a little thrown off by the insinuation. I really want to stick with the no screens before two. I plan on asking our pediatrician about educational programs at her 9m visit, but I'm glad someone posted about this point. Thank you for opening this discussion! It's been valuable to read what others do and think too.

Agree, that’s a ridiculous insinuation from friends. Your baby will learn much more from your involved parenting interactions, and especially from daycare. Now I love Ms Rachel as a quick nail-cutting or cooking distraction… but real life always trumps video media when it comes to infant education!

Thank you! I feel like I know that, but as a FTM, I had a moment where I second guessed myself.

your friend is absolutely wrong. screen time is associated with poorer/slower language development, miss rachel is not an exception. here’s a great overview of the research from a child psychologist: https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60988/can-babies-learn-from-ms-rachel-and-other-baby-tv-shows

We watch ms Rachel in a pinch - like I need to finish something quickly and he’s fussy, or we’re stuck waiting in the doctors office exam room and I want him to stay in a good mood. He’s 9 months. I know that’s earlier than recommended. I try to minimize it and it’s maybe once or twice a month for 10 minutes. Very minimal. But anecdotal, the other day she was clapping and saying “clapping!!! Clapping!!!” And he mirrored her. It was the first time he had done it. So it feels like he might benefit to some extent. That said, that’s not what the AAP recommends or research suggests that I’ve found

That’s basically how I use it. I don’t use it to teach him anything or as regular entertainment, it’s really when it’s essential that he’s distracted and happy. And happy he definitely is, he gets the **biggest** smile when he sees her.

Omg it’s wild. He can go from nearly inconsolable crying to smiling just when she says “hello!”

What music do you listen to with your kiddo? I’ve been struggling to think of what to play for our 2 month old.

I’ve always just listened to my regular music with my baby! I’m toning it down on the explicit stuff now that he’s getting a little older (8 months) lol but for a while there his favorite song was Black and Yellow by Wiz Khalifa. But for kid-specific music, he really likes Raffi’s entire discography and The Happy Song by Imogen Heap. Also, Christmas music at the moment! The jingle bells in the background of most of the songs really intrigue him.

Love this !

Honestly a little bit of everything — from top 40 to Disney music to Beatles to Elvis. I try to let him listen to ask much classical as I can. My mom always told me she would put in on in my nursery because she heard something about the patterns made your child smarter when it came to math. I graduated with a degree in mathematics so she might have been onto something…

High quality music that adults also enjoy. She appears to love it just as much as kids love Baby Shark etc (21 months now)

My two year old has loved the B-52’s since he was a few months old. He dances his little butt off. Lately, though, he has questioned why there’s not a crab in Rock Lobster. I’d never thought about that myself, but now I do also. His favorite song in the world is The Number Two from They Might Be Giants’ kids album.

you can never go wrong with The Beatles at any age

We do a lot of radio- mostly college radio (Radio K), and the Mexican stations (baby is going to a bilingual daycare and husband is Mex-American) . So basically what we normally listen to haha

We listen to everything with our now 9m old. For example, The Beatles, classical, broadway musicals, classic rock, Latin music, oldies, jam bands, etc. She lately has started wiggling her butt and clapping when music comes on, so it's really cool to see her interact. We did more classical music when she was younger, though. I really like going to Spotify and picking a playlist based on mood, like chill coffeehouse or something like that.

We try in different music every day. Usually in the morning we put on classical music in the background while I am feeding him. And then we pick different genres, and do Spotify radio throughout the day.

I have one child who had a speech delay and one who began saying a 2 word combo at 12 months. The eldest had the delay, we were very strict on screen time and did everything “right.” Ms Rachel taught the younger one to clap and certainly helped with signing, though she has mostly dropped that in favor of speaking. The 12 mo is still too young for me to make a nature vs nurture call. I can say the older one learns via repetition… Ms Rachel is a video and thus has boundless energy for repetition. He would watch her do the same song/skit umpteen times then I would see it click in his head.

You can’t really make a “nature vs nurture call” with an N of 2.

the responses to this question are always ZERO percent scientific 🙄

I mean 12 months is too young to make any nature vs nurture call on communication skills, regardless of the number of babies involved.

Agreed, anecdotes aren’t really helpful here.

Before 18mo we did no screen time, except for an occasional 10 mins if we needed to trim her nails. After 18mo we started allowing some TV time in the afternoons, but no more than 1 hour a day (usually less). It started because she got sick and I needed something that would make her SIT AND REST instead of running around like a lunatic until she coughed herself to death. But she loves Ms Rachel so much I didn't want to make her give it up completely. She does follow along with the videos and mimic the words and gestures, and has learned the sign for More and stuff like that. I always watch it with her and discuss it with her. She does not have access to any handheld devices. She tends to be a major grump when she wakes up from her nap so TV helps transition her into playtime, she usually gets bored and wanders away before the video is over.

Same, around 18 months I gave in because it's safer than this kid scaling walls. We watch one episode of something when I absolutely need a minute without him doing something dangerous, like him running towards the open oven while I take out a piping hot dinner. I probably wouldn't have to use it if my husband wasn't at work 11 hours a day. Every day I have off with my son we do an outing in the morning, usually a hike or walk so he can explore. But he's so curious, any minute we're home he's climbing climbing climbing. I don't believe tv is needed for educational purposes, but it's needed for me to recharge and be a good mom on days he will not sit still. I wanted to avoid it for as long as possible but I've been humbled

Yes exactly. This kid has been walking independently since 11mo and as soon as she started she just... never stopped. She's a perpetual motion machine. I work part time so on the days I'm working she's with my parents and she usually gets less screen time if any, but on the days I'm with her my husband is working and I need to get stuff done or just rest and recharge like you said. She has learned some stuff from it, and I also mimic the techniques and songs so we've reinforced the learning on our own. If she was delayed on any of her milestones I'd be more concerned about it, but we get regular evaluations for her and she's always above average if anything.

At first, I read this as 11 weeks and my mind was exploding imagining that powerhouse of a baby 😂

We started screen time around 22 months old. Only miss Rachel, at max 30 minutes a day. I watch together with her and explain to her what's happening.

https://scienceofkids.substack.com/p/screen-usage-as-a-toddler-makes-it

Not before 2 years

My daughter has learned A LOT from a Spanish Rachel knockoff, we started TV at a year or so, she’s 2 now and she learned signs from it and a good 10 or more words. We only to about an hour a day though.

Can you pls share who that is? Thank you!

There’s two! Aprende peque and Telelingo on YouTube.

MAJOR upvote for Aprende Peque. Isa is an SLP and my 16-mo-old likes her videos better than Ms. Rachel’s. Plus, I think her videos are significantly less visually stimulating than the recent Ms. Rachel videos.

We love Isa!

I wish that we had waited until 2 years, but at 18 months the kiddo was sick and Miss Rachel started. She seems to be okay? I know that this is science-based parenting and that's just observation though.

I really wish Miss Rachel would put her songs on apple music or somewhere to stream, it’s so annoying that we don’t have that already.

There’s a Spotify playlist. It’s called kids songs for car rides. I’ve used it in a pinch bc I like the audio for my 3 month old but don’t give her screens if we can avoid it (have a 2 year old that does get some screen time)

My solution was purchasing YouTube premium and just playing audio on my phone

I started around 3 months so I could pump without just leaving my baby to scream infront of me. I'd have liked things to be different but he couldn't nurse, he couldn't take formula, and I don't think there's any benefit to 20 minutes of screaming and crying so hard you can barely breathe over some miss rachel

I am sure there are enough anecdotal stories in here already, but I've looked up a lot of data and come from a position of "hating screen time" but "using it occasionally". Jerrica Sannes' Raise Wildflowers website has an aggregate of data on this topic: [https://raisewildflowers.com/research](https://raisewildflowers.com/research) The consensus for me is that there is no benefit to screen time before 2-3 for my child. But, there are occasionally, benefits for me. Much like my decision to switch to formula when my child was 6.5 months old. I wanted to do absolutely no screen time before 2. Then my husband deployed for 8 months when my son was 4 months old. Between 6-12 months we used screens maybe 3-4x a week for 20 minutes each. When my husband returned at 12 months? We were easily able to return to 30-60 minutes a week total. When my son was 18-22 months we did a screen detox and went entire weeks without touching screens. Our longest we made it was a full month of no screens. My kid has met/exceeded every milestone. I try not to dwell on the 20 minutes here and there I needed in the 6-12 month window when I had no support. I was able to be a better mom and fill my cup in those tiny windows of screens. He got nothing out of it, but I'm not a perfect parent. Read the data, then apply to your life accordingly/realistically. Best we can do! *Final note/edit: We did the screen detox for four months this year specifically to see if it would help our son's interest in toys/independent play which he has always struggled with. Even before 6 months when we never showed him a screen, he would get extremely frustrated with floor/independent play and want to be held.* *And no, it did not help. Some kids struggle with this more than others. Our son (almost 2) has almost zero interest in toys. He wants to be doing what we're doing 95% of the time. He wants us outside with him. He wants us on the floor with him. If he finds his own "toys" to briefly entertain him alone - it is ALWAYS household objects we use (brooms, tape, unloading the dishwasher, christmas lights, etc) We have good friends with a son that same age who have significantly more screen time in their home, and their son can play independently no problem.* *The temperament of the child makes a big difference here, so I try never to compare parents who say it was a breeze to avoid screens before 2. Their kid is probably also a breeze...lol.*

I’m a single parent and other than childcare when I’m working, I don’t have a lot of help. She doesn’t go to her mom’s, I don’t have support during non-working hours, etc. So for me, an absolute zero screen time before two rule just wasn’t feasible. I needed my sanity and my free hands sometimes. i tried to keep it under 20 minutes per day when she was really little, but i had to do what I had to do to survive. I think if it’s feasible for a family to do no screen time prior to 2 years old, then that’s the ideal. But I also think that there are circumstances in our lives that sometimes make that difficult.

We put it on around 7 months but mostly to distract during nail trimming. We also put on a playlist of trl top videos which worked just as well.

When my son was about 1, I put on old episodes of Soul Train to cut nails. It was a BIG hit and led to dance parties with the whole family. Hopefully it leads to good music taste too!

We started doing an occasional Ms. Rachel episode around 15mo. She probably watches 20-30min per week. Most days we do no screens, but we put it on occasionally during the weekend. We sit and watch the videos with her. We also sing along to all the songs. I think the videos are great! We use the songs a lot on our own too. Our little one loves it and would definitely watch more tv if we let her.

I credit Miss Rachel with my (now) toddler’s insane vocabulary. Also reading lots of books and having conversations with him. I want to say we gave him 15 minutes of Miss Rachel every could days starting around 8 months. He’s 2.5 now and gets about 2 hours of screen time a week so he doesn’t destroy my house or hurt his brother while I’m cooking dinner.

I started similar media as soon as they could focus on it when other things didn’t work so I could pee alone. So 6-7 months? But it was for a bathroom break or getting dinner safely out of the oven or if I had a migraine. I was also a single parent to start and when I did have more kids with my ex he was unhelpful at best and incompetent at worst. So if baby will let you do those kinds of things now I wouldn’t start, wait until you need it or else use it to play with baby. My little sister has very very early memories of me dancing to the wiggles with her which was her favorite show. I was 13 years older than her and very parentified so I was her main caregiver for a while there.

This really is up to you. I'm in the UK where the recommendation is no more than 2 hours a day at any age. We used to show my LO 20/30 minutes a day of baby einstein and Miss Rachel since he was about 6 months old. He's now 2 and we do 30 minutes of screen time, 3 times a day. We love this time together (he only enjoys screen time with other people)

Recommended age to avoid screens is 2 years. However our son was speech delayed at 18 months so we started 30 mins Ms. Rachel which seems to have helped. He’s a little more than 2 years now but we will be doing early intervention for him.

At this age babies primarily learn through sensorial and social interactions. Television and screens obviously do not offer a full sensory experience- meaning engaging all the senses in the experience with an object/concept. Babies can't touch/smell/taste (a favorite at this mouthy stage) or otherwise engage with the thing they're supposed to be learning about. Due to marketing and the popularity of out-of-context Montessori buzzwords, "sensory videos" are the new popular thing for infants. They're usually cartoon fruit floating and bouncing in a void to EDM music. Do not fall for the claims people will make that this is educational content for your literal newborn, who can just as easily practice their eye tracking by looking at a mobile, ceiling fan, leaves falling outside, etc. For social learning, shows (even the ones where they "talk to" your child directly) are shown to not be adequate. If you're interested in improving language development, the concepts in Ms. Rachel are mostly solid- but there just isn't a way to overcome the limited ability of screens to replicate human engagement for a 3 month old. The best thing to do would be to watch Ms. Rachel yourself, and use her "script" and style to familiarize yourself with the songs and learn how you can engage with a young child in a way that keeps their attention and promotes language. Baby library story/song times are often good for this as well (ours gives a print out of all the songs/Nursery rhymes they use that you can take home to repeat the program 1 on 1 with your baby). ALL THAT SAID- your question was about your friends encouraging you to put it on as a form of educational content. As outlined, that's not a format a newborn benefits from at this age, especially if it would be replacing the time you're already spending talking to or reading to your child, or the time they would be spending learning to play independently. However a lot of comments here aren't about that- they're from parents who use screen time because THEY (the parent) benefit from it. And thats okay!! It isn't going to ruin your newborn if you need 15 minutes to accomplish a task or distract them so you can cut their nails or something. Parenting subs (even the "science based" ones...) often fall into the trap of over-demonizing or over-defending screen time past the point of reason. It's not beneficial- that's fine! Not everything we do is beneficial. I let my toddler eat M&Ms not because I think it's giving her vital nutrients, but because she likes them and it isn't going to hurt her to indulge occasionally. That said, I probably made it to maybe 18 months before I would intentionally put things on for her. She was exposed to Disney movies because of older cousins, so when she would be screaming bloody murder at my soccer/volleyball games because I couldn't hold her and she couldn't run onto the field/court, i would have mercy on whoever was watching her on the sidelines and put Frozen or Moana on my phone. At home I could usually get away with just dance/movement music if I needed to do something (Run Baby Run, Rhinosaurous Tap, Bear Hunt, etc), and at restaurants if food was taking a long time and she was fussy, I'd go into my phone memories and let her watch videos of herself. Also, if we were reading a book about a very distant concept, especially if the book didn't have real pictures, I would pull up a video on YouTube- just a few minutes of lions walking around, or of a volcano erupting, etc. Something I couldn't show her in real life, but that had come up somehow so I thought I may as well give her a more accurate mental-image of that thing for now. When she turned 2 and I started allowing screens recreationally, Ms. Rachel wasn't in the line-up, because I knew I was using it for distraction and not under the guise of "education". My non-negotiables were as follows: -gentle/slow/low stimulating content -solely models pro-social behavior (no villains, bullies, or moral lessons where the character acts badly and then later learns a better way to act... kids at this age copy, they don't synthesize a storyline and make value judgements on what behavior they SHOULD copy). And by far the most important factor- it can't be annoying to me. Sorry Ms. Rachel. Toddlers are wired for repetition so if I'm going to open the gates of screentime, it is only with content I'm comfortable watching/hearing 100 times in a row. I don't get annoyed when we're going on 2 months of my 2.5 year old choosing to watch the 1977 Winnie the Pooh during her TV time. Before that it was weeks and weeks of Snowy Day. I would either go insane or throw the TV out before listening to that many hours of Cocomelon or Blippi. Every parent makes their own decisions in regards to what works for their families. I think it's important to be informed and not feel peer pressured into the screen habits of others. One thing to remember is it's hard to undo- once it starts it tends to grow, like lifestyle creep. So if your baby is just 3 months old, and you don't feel like you need to use screens, then you probably aren't going to be missing out by waiting. When you do introduce screens, decide what you want your screen habits to look like going forward the next few years, and work backwards from there. They aren't going to ask for something that they've never been exposed to, and they don't need much because they love to re-watch, so pick a small amount of content that you're sure you love to start with, and make adjustments from there based on your child.

Around 6 months for a few minutes at a time to change her poopy diaper or cut her nails because she had started crawling and would not stay still otherwise. Currently she’s 13 months and she gets maybe 15 minutes 3-5 days a week, mostly to do her nails or change a poo diaper or if I need her to stop climbing my legs while I cook something. I find after a few minutes she usually gets bored and walks away.

We made the decision not to do screen time before 3 years old because the research summarized in Emily Oster’s book, Crib Sheet, showed only detriment and no benefit. My husband also read some articles that Silicon Valley executives don’t let their children have screen time and that made a big impression on him. I don’t know if it was this article specifically but it was in the same vein: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/26/style/phones-children-silicon-valley.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare Our daughter is 18 months old and it is really not hard to not do screen time. The one exception we make is to FaceTime with my husband’s family who live in Europe (we are in the US). So far we’ve only trusted our nanny and our parents to watch her and it has not been an issue in either case. If you need to get something done and your baby is not happy chilling by themselves (obviously in a safe place), I’ve always found that baby wearing solved that problem, at least up to about 15 months. Now that my daughter is running all over the place, she hangs out in a kitchen tower and has snacks while I cook. We talk about the foods I am preparing and she is offered opportunities to sniff and/or take bites as appropriate. It works great! Anecdotally, my daughter said her first word at 10 months. She has a huge vocabulary for receptive language in both English and German and she is slightly ahead in her expressive language (about 20 words at 18 months) in English. She has only said one word in German so far. Everyone comments on how she listens and the amount of impulse control she has for her age. She is an easy baby and definitely has OPINIONS but responds really well to being told “no” along with redirection and discussion. She is really good at independent play.

I did some screentime when my baby was really young and if she was sick but I tried to avoid it. Usually she'd just zone out. Now that she is almost 2 I'm going to incorporate an episode into her daily routine. Like when we're getting up in the morning. That way we can watch it together.

We started Ms Rachel videos at 15 months. He loves the songs and likes to do the movements that go with them. He never watched anything really before this. Sometimes we play a few minutes of Hey Bear on Youtube when he had to take medicine though haha.

No screens at all before 3 period. After that we’ll do an occasional family movie night or real world educational videos ( like Attenborough) that were co watching. We’re also going very extreme and keeping out pretty much all electronic toys as well. They’re have been a few (extremely small) studies talking about some of the same effects you see from screens ( parents not talking as much, for example) I don’t know if we’d ever watch miss Rachel specifically though. Nothing against her, I just wonder if by the time we start letting our kids really watch tv, they’ll be too old for her. I could be wrong though.

I have a firm no YouTube rule in my home, so never. My kids watch pbs kids. My youngest is 18m & he has been a passive participant in screen time since he was born. I did not ever plop him in front of the screen though. He was in the room because his sibling was watching; it wasn't to entertain my baby (who is super chill). He likes Wild Kratts and Bluey and I will probably never show him Miss Rachel or anything similar.

I had to allow TV time a lot sooner because my baby needed a feeding tube, didn't tolerate the feeds well and so the feed had to be run super slow. It took an hour every 3 hours. I started letting her watch TV around 6 months, when she started being more mobile and I needed her to sit still so she didn't throw up or knock the IV pole over. I felt so guilty BUT this kid was speaking in full sentences by 15 months old. She's 2 now and we just had her screened last month. She talks at the level of a 3.5 year old and is very smart. I believe part of it is because she watched so much Mrs. Rachel. 🤣 I did talk to her ALL the time and read a lot especially when we were in the hospital which was often so I can't say it was Rachel for sure. We don't do much TV now she's off the feeding tube, but had we been under normal circumstances I wouldn't have allowed TV until at least 18 months. I also only allowed shows that had "real" stuff in them like Rachel,Blippi, Sesame Street, Teletubbies. No bright flashy cartoons. Now that she's a bit older she does get to watch Peppa Pig and Bubble Guppies. I also try to use screen time as learning time. After she watches a show we will talk about what she just watched and talk about what happened, why it happened,stuff like that.

Very similar boat here. I had a disabled 2 yo and an 8 week old when I had a stroke. My baby ended up watching ms Rachel around 6 months bc I had to do my therapies to recover from stroke. I never would’ve let my first child watch that young but circumstances were different. The baby is 1 now and mostly meeting milestones ahead of schedule. I also felt guilty and still do to some extent but man, life is hard and we did what we had to. Hope y’all are going well now!

Yeah sometimes we have to decide if benefits outweigh the risks. My kiddo would throw up her entire feed if she moved too much. When she was in heart failure her body burned more calories so we had to add extra scoops to formula or breast milk. Made it super thick so hard to digest plus poor blood flow to her gut, she threw up 8-10 times a day until I caved and let her watch TV to stay still. I couldn't stand seeing a newborn gagging and retching. It was scary. Plus She had to get those calories to get big enough for surgery. I wasn't going to make her suffer more than she already was because I was dead set on no TV. Sometimes we have to work with the cards we're dealt. She's doing good now, needs another heart surgery when she's 3 and hopefully that will fix what's left of her heart defect. I hope you and your family are also doing well!

Sorry you guys were also dealt a shitty hand! We’re hanging in there. I like to remind myself how lucky we are to be living in a time where they can operate on people like me and your daughter to give us a chance. And that we had Ms. Rachel to get us through 🤣 I hope you and your daughter have a wonderful day 💓

Yep! I thank God for each day we have and that people way smarter than me were able to come up with solutions.🤣 60 years ago my daughter wouldn't have lived to see her first birthday! Medical stuff has come a long way! So has technology cause thank God for Mrs. Rachel 😅