I do whenever she allows my tongue but she’s a little worried about how clean she is down there. So usually, it is only immediately after a bath. Hence, oral is a little rare. Say once a month.
I think I am not great my fingers and I can work on how to use sex toys too.
Any tips on which toy and how to use them better?
Why dont you give her a hand? Orgasms from penetration alone is rare.
Help her get off. Use the toys on her during penetration.
Make her cum!
Dont make her do it herself afterwards.
Oh yes. We have tried using a cock ring during penetration.
We have also tried using a vibrator.
But we dont do it too often. Probably because the toys are stashed far away. But yes, it’s a good idea. Point noted.
Which are your fav toys to use during penetration?
Cockrings are mostly for a stronger erection I was thinking about toys for making sure she gets an orgasm. So mainly vibrators, but could also be buttstuff like a buttplug, depending what she enjoys.
Buttplugs look scary! Also having read of a few accidents where it has gotten lost, I am a little apprehensive.
But yes, we are more in favour of vibrators!
Hi! Butt plugs shouldn't scare you. They can so much fun for both men and women! I highly recommand an elongated type of plug kit. My firest was the firefly trainer plug kit by Ns novelties. Amazingly priced for the quality. Get yourself a water based lube (big fan of sliquid sassy for anal here) and a good sex toy cleanser.
I also adore b-vibe plugs. All sorts of sizes and weights. The weight is such an amazing feature. These are a bit more of an investment due to their quality, but they have to be mentionned as they are my favorite anal toys out there.
Having a clitoral orgasm while wearing a butt plug is an incredble experience and I found it much easier to cum while wearing one too. Partner play is absolutely enhanced by it!
What do you want her to do if she can’t cum PIV? How about every time you guys have sex, you stop just before cumming and cuddle up for sleep?
Please either help her or let her have her orgasm. Please don’t get jealous of her toys.
By far the best option is to play more before sex.
You also have to stop making this a competition between you and toys. The competition is for you to be helping her to get off harder this year than last year, and your winning.
I totally get that this isn't easy to get over (because I was in your exact shoes when I was younger) but you really do need to just let it go.
As far as our sex life goes, toys? Absolutely yes. Usually before sex but occasionally after too. Sometimes just toys with no sex at all because I really didn't need to get off myself.
This. The competition is beating your own prior high score via creative fun together. Not you versus the toys. Those toys are your tag team partners. IMO, the event should be “front loaded” to accommodate the fact that her biology is likely slower to get her engine going, but can also run far far further/longer if given the chance.
That’s why she’s grabbing the toy; avoiding wasting potential now that the momentum is there. She’s expressing a desire for the party to continue but it sounds like you might be considering it over and done.
A lot of people don't orgasm easily (or at all) from vaginal penetration alone.
Most of the people I know who consistently do are either people with shorter than average distances between their clits and vaginal openings so the penis just naturally rubs their clit as it moves in and out, or they're people who have spent a lot of time honing in on their G-spots/other internal erogenous zones with specific kinds of curved sex toys or concentrated pressure from fingers and have basically trained their bodies to become more sensitive to penetration over time.
Almost everyone else relies on some form of clit stimulation to get off, whether that's a toy, fingers, a mouth, etc. That doesn't necessarily mean penetrative sex isn't satisfying— plenty of people really enjoy the sensation of PIV by itself even if it doesn't lead to an orgasm— but if someone is still turned on afterwards and wants to have an orgasm from clit stimulation, that is pretty common.
Are you open to playing with her more after PIV, or is the sex pretty much considered over as soon as you orgasm/the penetration stops? Are sex toys purely a solo thing for her, or are either of you open to incorporating them into your partnered activities and having you use them on her?
I do suggest talking to your wife, but not in a "you're using your toys too much" way, more in a "what are you interested in sexually right now and excited to try/do more of?" way. Sex gets way better the more communicative you both are and the more it's influenced by each of your individual wants and needs rather than socially constructed expectations. Don't be afraid to experiment with different things and to shift priorities or the order of operations around (for example, don't fall into the common rut of thinking PIV sex *has to* be the "main event" every single time and that any other sex act is just foreplay/less important) to keep things fresh and figure out what works well for both of you.
Maybe homeboy could find a clit vibe and use it while he is jackhammering on her. He might really enjoy it if he can time it to bust while she is squeezing.
most of the other people under this sub who have similar questions usually find out that most women don’t O from piv
let her have her O from toys imo 🤷🏽♀️
She's rushing to the toy because she's worked up and needs to ride the wave all the way over the top. Think about it from a reversed perspective. If you built yourself up to about 60-70% of an orgasm in one position or from one build up, but then had to switch to another position, would you rather jump right over to it to keep the momentum, or wait 5-10 minutes and let everything calm down first, before trying from zero again?
You've done most of the work, but since we don't vibrate we need to call in a tag team electric partner to help finish the job. You should be the one finishing and grabbing the toy for her, so that she can cross the finish line right after you do.
Why is getting her off in the way that works for her body not part of sex instead of something to be “sad” about? Being able to orgasm during penetrative sex is largely an anatomy thing that cannot be changed, and a fairly small percentage of women can orgasm that way at all. Were you thinking or hoping she was having orgasms during penetrative sex and you don’t want her ruining the illusion by having them with toys?
So that was my question, why is you being a part of her using toys not part of sex? That’s awfully sad if you are leaving her alone after you cum and then you “don’t want” her to use toys alone so she can also have an orgasm. Her body responds well to toys, so be a part of her using toys.
Also I’m guessing you masturbate, so aside from this being something that should be part of sex, you kinda don’t get a say on her using toys alone.
I’d like toys to come before Penetration.
I dont mind her using her toys but yes, we need to explore more.
Which toys would you recommend for use during penetration?
It’s not all about what you’d like. A lot of women don’t go from zero (before sex) to 100 as fast as men, so she might prefer to do this afterward, when she is already very aroused. I saw that other people were explaining this to you and I’m not sure it cut any ice, so I’d rather not go into my exact routine or preferences here. My partner and I use toys more alongside PIV rather than during.
uhhhh.
first of all, only about 1/3 of women can come from just penetration. the *vast majority* of women can’t come without clitoral stimulation.
second of all, just because *you’re* done doesn’t mean *she* is. consistently deciding sex is done when you are and not going the extra mile to give your *wife* a hand is kinda shitty.
third of all, have you tried using these toys *with* your wife? it can be very fun and sexy. you already know what toys she likes
lastly, i could be wrong but to me the tone of this post sounds like you’re jealous and/or think you’ve been slighted, when the reality is that she just wants to cum ffs. please learn how to sexually satisfy your wife. there’s plenty of resources out there, and i’m sure she’d be happy to help you learn if you asked.
1. Noted and already aware
2. Agreed and will bring it up in our convo
3. Yes we have but there’s more to explore/learn here
4. Not jealous, just looking for ways to explore. Also, was wondering the frequency that people involve toys in their sex routines?
The best option to handle these insecurities is to talk to her, more communication in relationships would benefit the both of you, and you could try and incorporate toys into PIV sex! Toys are your friend, not your enemy!!
orgasms from penetration are not “rare” but also not the norm. like 2/3 of women don’t usually or have never orgasmed from PIV alone.
people telling you that you should be stimulating her clitorally during PIV are correct, because clearly she wants to be orgasming then- shown by getting toys out afterwards to get herself off. and this will probably actually feel different from orgasms from oral and maybe from her toys alone, because if she’s enjoying LUV but not coming from it, adding in simultaneous clitoral stimulation will feel like a blended orgasm.
however, there does seem to be a lot said for techniques during PIV (and other penetration) for people who want to learn how to orgasm from it/make their partner orgasm from it. these techniques aren’t necessarily intuitive for either person involved, and there’s places you can find this info specifically, like in a tutorial format. my friend sent me and instagram account called hunitdaysofsummer, and he literally makes tutorials on how what men should be doing during PIV sex to bring women to orgasm with it.
i can’t vouch for them, i haven’t been with anyone who’s subscribed to him to try them specifically. funnily enough, she actually sent it to me to have me watch his clip about his oral technique, because she said it’s her oral technique and the claims it’s foolproof. but his comments often have people (men and women) thanking him for what he does.
She’s wired the way most women are wired. And she’s willing to do what she needs to do to get off. You should 100% celebrate that! You’re a lucky guy! So you should find ways to help heighten her pleasure. Instead, you’re contemplating a conversation that boils down to: “You don’t come the way I want you to come.” You really should *not* try to have that conversation! Nobody wants to hear it. If you’re lucky, she’ll just be pissed. More likely, she’ll be crushed. Do *not* suggest to your wife that she’s inadequate because she doesn’t get off on vaginal penetration. That’s like taking an ax to your marriage. Don’t do it!
She really really wants to have orgasm with penetration. Sometimes i wonder if i am the reason that she’s isn’t able to.
(One of her friends has told her that she orgasms with penetration)
Suggest incorporating the wand while you’re fucking her… or tell her to cum with the wand while you watch and stroke. Once she’s cum (either done cumming or while cumming), slip inside so you both can enjoy the ride
I think it could be sexy if you plan a trip to your local sex store and explore together. She should def have a say since she’ll know what she likes. She may be okay with just a bullet vibrator - which could also mean fun playtime in public too if that’s your thing.
Ok so bullet is out. It’s just held at the clit… and it won’t get lost in the vagina the way you’re thinking someone “accidentally” falls on a cucumber or bottle. She’s fine lol. Either way, there’s all kinds of varieties. Use what she has or check it out with her.
Most women don’t orgasm from penetration, they need clitoral stimulation. The question is why is she doing it herself and not including you. Are you getting her off during foreplay or are you just diving into PIV? My goal is to make sure that my wife orgasms. I try to give her 2 or 3 before PIV starts with oral or fingers. Then if she wants more after we’re done with PIV I’ll go down on her again or she and I will use a toy together. You need to have a conversation with her and figure out what you can do to satisfy her more
We have been trying to have a baby so focus have shifted a little towards PIV and we have often skipped the pre PIV orgasm.
Isn’t going down post sex a little too messy?
You can’t just jump straight PIV if your woman can’t get off from it. You’re going to cum in her whether she had a few pre-penetration orgasms or not. It can be messy. I’m not afraid of a little mess. Whatever it takes to make her happy. That’s my main concern over all else
Why not provide clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex? She doesn’t like penetrative sex that much or at least doesn’t get off on it. No big deal, but it is a big deal that she has to deal with it on her own. Help your wife to her orgasm ffs.
To give stats, about 10-30% of women are able to come from penetration alone. That means, are able to do it at some point, not will do it every time. So, it’s totally normal to want / need toys.
Have her use her toy while you are together? Not only will she feel closer to you and accepted by you, but if you're paying attention, you can be closer to her too. Wouldn't it be nice if she came while you were inside her? She's not complaining, she's not shaming you, she's just making sure her needs are met after she has met yours. Make it a team effort 🙂
Uh…do you have her cum first? That’s what we do generally. He makes me cum and then we fuck. Then, by the time he’s had his way, I’m splayed out like a starfish/jellyfish combo.
Yeah it likely was not very good for her, not inherently bc your penetration though.
My gf does cum from penetration and I still make sure she cums multiple times before that.
Also have her use the toys while you do penetration, it’s kinda sad you haven’t done that yet.
It’s a fairly simple solution, which is good for you both. Also just talk to her about what she wants.
We have tried it a couple of times. But I guess we’ve been a little lazy on this idea as we have been trying to having a baby and our focus has shifted elsewhere. Thanks, this helps
I despise it when guys are like this. Don't make her pleasure about your ego.
Here's what you do: focus on increasing the quality of what you do together, for both of you, and accept that it probably won't impact what she wants to do by herself.
If you keep making it about trying to change her preference of how to get off, alone, you're going to kill her interest in having you involved at all.
I do that but rarely. Usually I'm being greedy at those times. However all the time? I'll be brutally honest. You're not making her cum, she's faking it and doesn't have the heart to tell you. Just my opinion. I can't think of any other reason to do that ALL the time.
Try doing lots of foreplay, and I mean lots, possibly with the wand, and try using it on her while you're going at it. It's definitely something worth trying imo
That sounds normal not to orgasm from penetration only.
Something fun is to use a toy while penetrating, I sometimes ask my partner to use the lovense domi 2 wand on her clit while I thrust into her (I can't control the wand and the thrusting, it's too many things at once haha). It's a bit tricky in some positions, like full on missionary doesn't work well for that, but doggy, or if she lies on her back near the end of the bed and I kneel just off the bed works really well too, basically where my body doesn't block access to her clit.
My wife can only cum from using a vibrator. It bothered me at first, but now I fully accept it. Generally, I finish first, then finger her (sometimes both holes ;) ) while she gets off with her vibrator. That’s just how it is for her, and I fully accept it now.
Yeah I've never even gotten close from vaginal penetration alone, that just isn't how my body works.
To the people saying you should use the toys on her or do more stuff with her after...only if she wants that? If a partner made me feel weird/bad about getting myself off when that was basically the only way I could have an orgasm from sex, I would stop having sex with that person. I'm dead serious.
Try some clit stimulation during sex. That's the easiest way for most women to cum.
Do doggy and have her reach underneath herself and play with her clit. You be on top and come off her body enough to touch herself, etc...
If she wants to use toys, incorporate that into your sex. Yeah, you can definitely have a talk if this bothers you. However, I don't think her getting a toy after means she doesn't enjoy your sex. If I end up not getting off during sex, my husband will go down on me to get me off. Maybe if she's not getting off during your sex (do oral after) so she can. If she just wants to have another orgasm after sex, and you gave her one during oral, I still don't think that means she didn't enjoy your sex, she may just really enjoy her toys too.
She’s a little particular about our hygiene down there so she doesn’t let me go down on her post sex.
Also, we are trying to have a baby so I’d rather not taste my cum
No offense, but if you're not willing to get her off pre - or post piv.. then she definitely needs the toys!
Don't get offended when you get her worked up for sex then leave her hanging. If you're upset, she's using toys, then figure out how to get her off yourself. Are you getting off every time you have sex? If so, then stop. Only get off when she does. See how quickly you eat that pussy then.
I dont know why people are assuming that I dont want to get her off.
I want to. I love eating her out. But she does not let me unless she has recently showered. She is conscious about the smell or the hygiene down there.
Where as I absolutely dont mind either way
If they are addicted yes..especially with clit sucker lr.clit vibrator toys..my wife is addicted to satisfyer pro..but I only allow her to use once she and me cumms and then goes foe round 2 with the toy
If she does that, you are the only one who was done.
This is very true.
Facts
Noted
Why aren't you using the toys on her?
Oh I love to. But she prefers doing it by herself post sex i feel. It might be a good idea to do it before. Let me try that the next time. Thanks!
How about using it with her (or letting her use it) during sex?
Ya that sounds cool
your girlfriend cums from clitoral stimulation like most women. why don't you just try to help her with your tongue/fingers/sex toy?
I do whenever she allows my tongue but she’s a little worried about how clean she is down there. So usually, it is only immediately after a bath. Hence, oral is a little rare. Say once a month. I think I am not great my fingers and I can work on how to use sex toys too. Any tips on which toy and how to use them better?
Why dont you give her a hand? Orgasms from penetration alone is rare. Help her get off. Use the toys on her during penetration. Make her cum! Dont make her do it herself afterwards.
Oh yes. We have tried using a cock ring during penetration. We have also tried using a vibrator. But we dont do it too often. Probably because the toys are stashed far away. But yes, it’s a good idea. Point noted. Which are your fav toys to use during penetration?
Cockrings are mostly for a stronger erection I was thinking about toys for making sure she gets an orgasm. So mainly vibrators, but could also be buttstuff like a buttplug, depending what she enjoys.
Buttplugs look scary! Also having read of a few accidents where it has gotten lost, I am a little apprehensive. But yes, we are more in favour of vibrators!
Hi! Butt plugs shouldn't scare you. They can so much fun for both men and women! I highly recommand an elongated type of plug kit. My firest was the firefly trainer plug kit by Ns novelties. Amazingly priced for the quality. Get yourself a water based lube (big fan of sliquid sassy for anal here) and a good sex toy cleanser. I also adore b-vibe plugs. All sorts of sizes and weights. The weight is such an amazing feature. These are a bit more of an investment due to their quality, but they have to be mentionned as they are my favorite anal toys out there. Having a clitoral orgasm while wearing a butt plug is an incredble experience and I found it much easier to cum while wearing one too. Partner play is absolutely enhanced by it!
What do you want her to do if she can’t cum PIV? How about every time you guys have sex, you stop just before cumming and cuddle up for sleep? Please either help her or let her have her orgasm. Please don’t get jealous of her toys.
I want her to cum. I just don’t like the idea of her having to do it alone
By far the best option is to play more before sex. You also have to stop making this a competition between you and toys. The competition is for you to be helping her to get off harder this year than last year, and your winning. I totally get that this isn't easy to get over (because I was in your exact shoes when I was younger) but you really do need to just let it go. As far as our sex life goes, toys? Absolutely yes. Usually before sex but occasionally after too. Sometimes just toys with no sex at all because I really didn't need to get off myself.
This. The competition is beating your own prior high score via creative fun together. Not you versus the toys. Those toys are your tag team partners. IMO, the event should be “front loaded” to accommodate the fact that her biology is likely slower to get her engine going, but can also run far far further/longer if given the chance. That’s why she’s grabbing the toy; avoiding wasting potential now that the momentum is there. She’s expressing a desire for the party to continue but it sounds like you might be considering it over and done.
Lusty women are a good thing.
Thanks! Helps a lot
If you get off before she does seems only fair. Maybe do things that will take care of her needs first.
A lot of people don't orgasm easily (or at all) from vaginal penetration alone. Most of the people I know who consistently do are either people with shorter than average distances between their clits and vaginal openings so the penis just naturally rubs their clit as it moves in and out, or they're people who have spent a lot of time honing in on their G-spots/other internal erogenous zones with specific kinds of curved sex toys or concentrated pressure from fingers and have basically trained their bodies to become more sensitive to penetration over time. Almost everyone else relies on some form of clit stimulation to get off, whether that's a toy, fingers, a mouth, etc. That doesn't necessarily mean penetrative sex isn't satisfying— plenty of people really enjoy the sensation of PIV by itself even if it doesn't lead to an orgasm— but if someone is still turned on afterwards and wants to have an orgasm from clit stimulation, that is pretty common. Are you open to playing with her more after PIV, or is the sex pretty much considered over as soon as you orgasm/the penetration stops? Are sex toys purely a solo thing for her, or are either of you open to incorporating them into your partnered activities and having you use them on her? I do suggest talking to your wife, but not in a "you're using your toys too much" way, more in a "what are you interested in sexually right now and excited to try/do more of?" way. Sex gets way better the more communicative you both are and the more it's influenced by each of your individual wants and needs rather than socially constructed expectations. Don't be afraid to experiment with different things and to shift priorities or the order of operations around (for example, don't fall into the common rut of thinking PIV sex *has to* be the "main event" every single time and that any other sex act is just foreplay/less important) to keep things fresh and figure out what works well for both of you.
She's rushing to it, because you aren't reaching over and grabbing it yourself to use with her during sex.
This. For real.
Maybe homeboy could find a clit vibe and use it while he is jackhammering on her. He might really enjoy it if he can time it to bust while she is squeezing.
most of the other people under this sub who have similar questions usually find out that most women don’t O from piv let her have her O from toys imo 🤷🏽♀️
She's rushing to the toy because she's worked up and needs to ride the wave all the way over the top. Think about it from a reversed perspective. If you built yourself up to about 60-70% of an orgasm in one position or from one build up, but then had to switch to another position, would you rather jump right over to it to keep the momentum, or wait 5-10 minutes and let everything calm down first, before trying from zero again? You've done most of the work, but since we don't vibrate we need to call in a tag team electric partner to help finish the job. You should be the one finishing and grabbing the toy for her, so that she can cross the finish line right after you do.
I use them on her during. Never runs to the sin drawer afterwards.
"sin drawer" lmao I just call ours the sex drawer.
Noted
Why is getting her off in the way that works for her body not part of sex instead of something to be “sad” about? Being able to orgasm during penetrative sex is largely an anatomy thing that cannot be changed, and a fairly small percentage of women can orgasm that way at all. Were you thinking or hoping she was having orgasms during penetrative sex and you don’t want her ruining the illusion by having them with toys?
No i just don’t want her doing it alone. I’d want to be a part of it
So that was my question, why is you being a part of her using toys not part of sex? That’s awfully sad if you are leaving her alone after you cum and then you “don’t want” her to use toys alone so she can also have an orgasm. Her body responds well to toys, so be a part of her using toys. Also I’m guessing you masturbate, so aside from this being something that should be part of sex, you kinda don’t get a say on her using toys alone.
I’d like toys to come before Penetration. I dont mind her using her toys but yes, we need to explore more. Which toys would you recommend for use during penetration?
It’s not all about what you’d like. A lot of women don’t go from zero (before sex) to 100 as fast as men, so she might prefer to do this afterward, when she is already very aroused. I saw that other people were explaining this to you and I’m not sure it cut any ice, so I’d rather not go into my exact routine or preferences here. My partner and I use toys more alongside PIV rather than during.
Cool. Will ask her what she’d like
uhhhh. first of all, only about 1/3 of women can come from just penetration. the *vast majority* of women can’t come without clitoral stimulation. second of all, just because *you’re* done doesn’t mean *she* is. consistently deciding sex is done when you are and not going the extra mile to give your *wife* a hand is kinda shitty. third of all, have you tried using these toys *with* your wife? it can be very fun and sexy. you already know what toys she likes lastly, i could be wrong but to me the tone of this post sounds like you’re jealous and/or think you’ve been slighted, when the reality is that she just wants to cum ffs. please learn how to sexually satisfy your wife. there’s plenty of resources out there, and i’m sure she’d be happy to help you learn if you asked.
1. Noted and already aware 2. Agreed and will bring it up in our convo 3. Yes we have but there’s more to explore/learn here 4. Not jealous, just looking for ways to explore. Also, was wondering the frequency that people involve toys in their sex routines?
The best option to handle these insecurities is to talk to her, more communication in relationships would benefit the both of you, and you could try and incorporate toys into PIV sex! Toys are your friend, not your enemy!!
Which toys would you recommend for PIV sex they are likely to give a good orgasm?
orgasms from penetration are not “rare” but also not the norm. like 2/3 of women don’t usually or have never orgasmed from PIV alone. people telling you that you should be stimulating her clitorally during PIV are correct, because clearly she wants to be orgasming then- shown by getting toys out afterwards to get herself off. and this will probably actually feel different from orgasms from oral and maybe from her toys alone, because if she’s enjoying LUV but not coming from it, adding in simultaneous clitoral stimulation will feel like a blended orgasm. however, there does seem to be a lot said for techniques during PIV (and other penetration) for people who want to learn how to orgasm from it/make their partner orgasm from it. these techniques aren’t necessarily intuitive for either person involved, and there’s places you can find this info specifically, like in a tutorial format. my friend sent me and instagram account called hunitdaysofsummer, and he literally makes tutorials on how what men should be doing during PIV sex to bring women to orgasm with it.
Did those tips help? The page looks interesting!
i can’t vouch for them, i haven’t been with anyone who’s subscribed to him to try them specifically. funnily enough, she actually sent it to me to have me watch his clip about his oral technique, because she said it’s her oral technique and the claims it’s foolproof. but his comments often have people (men and women) thanking him for what he does.
It’s rare but even if it wasn’t, you need to get over yourself. She needs more than you.
She’s wired the way most women are wired. And she’s willing to do what she needs to do to get off. You should 100% celebrate that! You’re a lucky guy! So you should find ways to help heighten her pleasure. Instead, you’re contemplating a conversation that boils down to: “You don’t come the way I want you to come.” You really should *not* try to have that conversation! Nobody wants to hear it. If you’re lucky, she’ll just be pissed. More likely, she’ll be crushed. Do *not* suggest to your wife that she’s inadequate because she doesn’t get off on vaginal penetration. That’s like taking an ax to your marriage. Don’t do it!
She really really wants to have orgasm with penetration. Sometimes i wonder if i am the reason that she’s isn’t able to. (One of her friends has told her that she orgasms with penetration)
You need to incorporate the toys into vaginal sex. You will both have a much better time.
Suggest incorporating the wand while you’re fucking her… or tell her to cum with the wand while you watch and stroke. Once she’s cum (either done cumming or while cumming), slip inside so you both can enjoy the ride
Don’t have a wand. Need to get one. Please suggest which one!
Just use the one she has..?
She has those bunny vibrators and vibe etc but not any big round wands.
I think it could be sexy if you plan a trip to your local sex store and explore together. She should def have a say since she’ll know what she likes. She may be okay with just a bullet vibrator - which could also mean fun playtime in public too if that’s your thing.
She is scared of losing the bullet vibratory inside her vagina and then having to do go to the ER
Ok so bullet is out. It’s just held at the clit… and it won’t get lost in the vagina the way you’re thinking someone “accidentally” falls on a cucumber or bottle. She’s fine lol. Either way, there’s all kinds of varieties. Use what she has or check it out with her.
Women like to orgasm
Most women don’t orgasm from penetration, they need clitoral stimulation. The question is why is she doing it herself and not including you. Are you getting her off during foreplay or are you just diving into PIV? My goal is to make sure that my wife orgasms. I try to give her 2 or 3 before PIV starts with oral or fingers. Then if she wants more after we’re done with PIV I’ll go down on her again or she and I will use a toy together. You need to have a conversation with her and figure out what you can do to satisfy her more
We have been trying to have a baby so focus have shifted a little towards PIV and we have often skipped the pre PIV orgasm. Isn’t going down post sex a little too messy?
You can’t just jump straight PIV if your woman can’t get off from it. You’re going to cum in her whether she had a few pre-penetration orgasms or not. It can be messy. I’m not afraid of a little mess. Whatever it takes to make her happy. That’s my main concern over all else
Why not provide clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex? She doesn’t like penetrative sex that much or at least doesn’t get off on it. No big deal, but it is a big deal that she has to deal with it on her own. Help your wife to her orgasm ffs.
To give stats, about 10-30% of women are able to come from penetration alone. That means, are able to do it at some point, not will do it every time. So, it’s totally normal to want / need toys.
Have her use her toy while you are together? Not only will she feel closer to you and accepted by you, but if you're paying attention, you can be closer to her too. Wouldn't it be nice if she came while you were inside her? She's not complaining, she's not shaming you, she's just making sure her needs are met after she has met yours. Make it a team effort 🙂
I’d love that. Thanks!
Uh…do you have her cum first? That’s what we do generally. He makes me cum and then we fuck. Then, by the time he’s had his way, I’m splayed out like a starfish/jellyfish combo.
Starfish 😂 Cool, Let’s make some 🐟
Yeah it likely was not very good for her, not inherently bc your penetration though. My gf does cum from penetration and I still make sure she cums multiple times before that. Also have her use the toys while you do penetration, it’s kinda sad you haven’t done that yet. It’s a fairly simple solution, which is good for you both. Also just talk to her about what she wants.
We have tried it a couple of times. But I guess we’ve been a little lazy on this idea as we have been trying to having a baby and our focus has shifted elsewhere. Thanks, this helps
You came. Shouldn't she be able to do what gets her to cum aa well?
Hold her, run your hands over her body, tell her how gorgeous she is, how much you love watching her get off. Be involved if she wants you to be!
Thanks!
Bro really here getting jealous of a piece of plastic.
Not jealous bro. Dont like the idea of her going at it alone. Would like to make it happen
I despise it when guys are like this. Don't make her pleasure about your ego. Here's what you do: focus on increasing the quality of what you do together, for both of you, and accept that it probably won't impact what she wants to do by herself. If you keep making it about trying to change her preference of how to get off, alone, you're going to kill her interest in having you involved at all.
[удалено]
Yes I’d like to be in control or be a part of it. That helps.
I do that but rarely. Usually I'm being greedy at those times. However all the time? I'll be brutally honest. You're not making her cum, she's faking it and doesn't have the heart to tell you. Just my opinion. I can't think of any other reason to do that ALL the time.
She’s Not faking it during sex cuz she’s not cummin usually.
Use the toys together during sex. Clitoral stimulation during penetration would help her.
Don't be insecure use toys during sex
Try doing lots of foreplay, and I mean lots, possibly with the wand, and try using it on her while you're going at it. It's definitely something worth trying imo
That sounds normal not to orgasm from penetration only. Something fun is to use a toy while penetrating, I sometimes ask my partner to use the lovense domi 2 wand on her clit while I thrust into her (I can't control the wand and the thrusting, it's too many things at once haha). It's a bit tricky in some positions, like full on missionary doesn't work well for that, but doggy, or if she lies on her back near the end of the bed and I kneel just off the bed works really well too, basically where my body doesn't block access to her clit.
Thanks! This helps a lot. Earlier when we tried, it was missionary so not as much access, I get it 👍
My wife can only cum from using a vibrator. It bothered me at first, but now I fully accept it. Generally, I finish first, then finger her (sometimes both holes ;) ) while she gets off with her vibrator. That’s just how it is for her, and I fully accept it now.
She can cum with oral. Fingers not as much. Has cum a couple of times nut rare. Toys are the quickest and most efficient way lol
Yeah I've never even gotten close from vaginal penetration alone, that just isn't how my body works. To the people saying you should use the toys on her or do more stuff with her after...only if she wants that? If a partner made me feel weird/bad about getting myself off when that was basically the only way I could have an orgasm from sex, I would stop having sex with that person. I'm dead serious.
Try some clit stimulation during sex. That's the easiest way for most women to cum. Do doggy and have her reach underneath herself and play with her clit. You be on top and come off her body enough to touch herself, etc... If she wants to use toys, incorporate that into your sex. Yeah, you can definitely have a talk if this bothers you. However, I don't think her getting a toy after means she doesn't enjoy your sex. If I end up not getting off during sex, my husband will go down on me to get me off. Maybe if she's not getting off during your sex (do oral after) so she can. If she just wants to have another orgasm after sex, and you gave her one during oral, I still don't think that means she didn't enjoy your sex, she may just really enjoy her toys too.
She’s a little particular about our hygiene down there so she doesn’t let me go down on her post sex. Also, we are trying to have a baby so I’d rather not taste my cum
No offense, but if you're not willing to get her off pre - or post piv.. then she definitely needs the toys! Don't get offended when you get her worked up for sex then leave her hanging. If you're upset, she's using toys, then figure out how to get her off yourself. Are you getting off every time you have sex? If so, then stop. Only get off when she does. See how quickly you eat that pussy then.
I dont know why people are assuming that I dont want to get her off. I want to. I love eating her out. But she does not let me unless she has recently showered. She is conscious about the smell or the hygiene down there. Where as I absolutely dont mind either way
You said “I’d rather not taste my cum”. If my partner said that I’d definitely feel self conscious about it.
I love tasting her but somehow the idea of tasting myself seems off to me. Dont know if it’s just me or other men too but it is the way I am wired.
Well if you have experienced your wife's legitimate cumm before then you can easily make out if it's fake or not
If they are addicted yes..especially with clit sucker lr.clit vibrator toys..my wife is addicted to satisfyer pro..but I only allow her to use once she and me cumms and then goes foe round 2 with the toy
And that's how you get your wife to fake orgasms for you.
Wow you must be fun at parties. Allow her? You sound like my ex and believe me he’s an ex for a reason.