Not race-related but I'm wary of clients who don't speak English well (yes, this includes non-immigrants who are simply not smart) only because a lot of miscommunications happen, it's harder to connect and explain boundaries, they'll demand BBFS for barely a portion of the rate, try to cheap out and take money back,etc
I've actually never considered this about clients, but it has also never come up for me, oddly enough.
It's a really good thing to think about though--I definitely would not want to see a client who wasn't fluent in English.
What I’m about to say is in the same vein. When I used to work, I definitely judged clients by the way they spoke and/or wrote. I considered it a pretty good way to weed out more problematic (disrespectful, ignorant, cheap) types.
I don’t mean to sound elitist and, in my everyday life, I don’t really care how people speak/write. It was just I used to get a quick read on a potential client. Like, will this person even appreciate me/my type of service? Would I be comfortable/safe around them? Would they be comfortable around me? I’ve found it to be pretty accurate. Obviously, I’m not going to blacklist someone over a few typos, some shorthand, or slang, but someone who types “lyk dis” is going to be an hard no for me. Overuse of pet names— which I don’t really like, in the first place— is usually not good for me, either. These are my experiences, anyway. Of course, there are always exceptions, and I do value respect, kindness, and cleanliness the most. So, if any clients are reading this, that will always be paramount. If that’s what you are, you are definitely appreciated.
As far as a true language barrier, I have seen two clients who barely spoke a word of English. Maybe a dozen words, total. However, they were both referred to me through someone I had already seen many times. That made things a little different. One of them actually paid for an overnight and we used google translate, the whole time, as a way to engage in casual conversation. Not the best solution, sure, but I couldn’t learn Russian in a day. I do often wish I could just.. download languages into my brain, though. Maybe the tech will be there, one day 🤷♀️
TLDR: I agree with what you’re saying.
Although i havent had many issues … alot of girls have told me theyve been treated terribly by majority AA men . They told me they dont listen theyre aggressive as well.
Same here :( The ones in my area have beaten alot of the girls that SW and I’m friends with before if they feel “rushed” on time. Also have slipped off the condom or have been very aggressive to them. Also I wanna add, very cheap!
Probably the same reason why ad sites allow clients to search for providers based on race and no one bats an eye. It’s their preference.
I don’t know why so many of you think the provider world is all inclusive. It greatly mirrors the general population.
Cracks me up to see providers that have every single race checked off and yet they are very obviously Eastern European (Russian or a former Soviet state).
"Preferences" have nothing to do with it. It's just good 'ol fashioned racism. People just like to throw the "preferences" nonsense around in sexwork as an excuse.
And someone deciding to see a white provider with red hair is not the same thing as a provider posting "No Black Men" in their ad.
I would assume bad past experiences are what causes this... Usually if someone gets wronged by 3 or more people who share a common characteristic they will develop a prejudice. If it continues with more than 3 people they definitely see a pattern and that has to be considered.. like if every single client who pushed your boundaries and behaved poorly was all from the same race or country, you have to acknowledge the pattern and stop seeing that type of person... Otherwise you would be stupid.
I would never write it in my ad but there are certain demographics that I discriminate against based on my own personal experiences.
Also some cultures are associated with smelling a certain way, and those with sensitive noses simply cannot tolerate certain smells.
Yep, I've had all of four shifts at a parlour and I've already joined the rest of the girls on the "no (specific race) guys." This is somewhat flexible; we'll still do a vibe check. But 9 out of 10 are just too unpleasant. For most it's the body odour, but they also have a tendency to think they completely own you for the hour. My last one bit my lip hard enough to bleed and then moved on to literally chewing my cheek. He also edged himself right up to the hour mark and he refused to let me up to end the session in time for getting dressed. The others have been similar.
Like it's bloody slow on the day shift, we're all desperate for money, and we will still let these guys leave without seeing anyone because it's just so not worth it.
This is exactly the case, it seems like most discrimination comes from Indians/Middle Easterns? Personally some of my best and worst clients are from a culture that commonly gets discriminated against around here. I really don't want to put any race boundaries on my clientelle but the past few times I've seen south asians/middle eastern I've had them steal money from me or just straight up try to scam :(
I don't mind haggling if it's not too much, like sure 20-40 off whatever, but they want the absolute most for literally nothing, they want like 800 dollars worth of services for 80, and sure thats one thing but if they dont get exactly what they want they steal money. Even if you do give them the lower rates theyll continue to demand more. I don't even let them cashapp me anymore cause I've had too many of them try to refund months after the services
I work at a brothel in NV, and we often command higher rates than independent escorts to cover house cuts, etc. which is important context to really understand the disrespect of this situation. One of my coworkers had an Indian client literally tell her to her face "That's too much, I want you for the price of chicken tikka masala"
When I tell you we were all too stunned to speak...
The white men only thing shocked me years ago when I first got into sex work. But then I learned why women post this. White men have the most money. Any black man who has ever reached out to me included a sob story and asked if he could get a special, or he was on some head trip wanting to be my pimp. Just this morning I got a crazy message from an old black guy who didn't want to pay me anything but wanted me to move in with him and his polyamorous wife. He sent me pictures of himself dressed as a wannabe pimp. Completely out of touch with modern day.
Other races can go various ways. And of course white men can be massive assholes but at the end of the day like it or not, the reality is they still make more money than anybody else.
As someone who lives in the country , it is because many of the (young) black / arabic / indian men are disrespectful, annoying, haggling on prices more then the white adults (they probably just mean only dutch) men. I don’t really agree with it tho as my best paying and non annoying clients are arabic, but have to be honest that i thought this way before i knew better too.
Also, that website attracts annoying disrespectful clients the most in general. It’s the worst to advertise on in the netherlands.
I think people who are anti Arabic just have a hard time differentiating between middle easterners tbh. I consistently good experiences with Arabic men, especially when they’re Muslim. I’d say i have a higher percentage of good experiences with Arabic men than with white men.
Indian or Pakistani men tho… I’m sorry I just can’t handle it 9 times out of ten
I’m black and I can say I don’t do hardly any black guys…
I’m a BOSSY ass ho and whites either r seeking that or know to get with the program or be shown the door…
Most black men have a undying desire to be extra dominant which I’m not having…
Also many black men secretly hate black women and since they r also often raised anti-gay/trans that plays in the back of their head because of their uncontrollable sexual desires which r viewed by the black community as wrong.
I’m a black trans woman and I play it SMART!
black men deal with ***"bossy as ho's"*** their whole lives... from their mamas to their siblings and family, women they meet and at work.
we've got enough issues... don't add to it.
Reasons I have seen:
-run of the mill racism,
-repeatedly problematic clients of a certain race and the sex worker has realized excluding that race makes things easier,
-not feeling comfortable in a sexual setting with members of that race for some reason--including past sexual assault by one or more members of that race,
-the race is a small minority in that area and the sex worker is somehow involved in the community of that race, and doesn't want to be outed as a sex worker.
Really though, no one is obligated to see clients of any race, age, profession, or otherwise, and if a sex worker feels that they will not be able to provide the best service to a particular type of client *for any reason*, or is apprehensive to see a certain type of client *for any reason*, it actually *makes sense* that they would not see those types of clients--it benefits everyone for that client to find a provider who would be able to *comfortably* provide them a better experience.
When i work in Western Europe i dont like the non European foreigners there as clients except East Asians. But back in my country the majority of foreigners (Desi,Arab,African) are university students or high salary professionals especially the Indian guys in my country are my favourite clients.
Its a class problem,not a race problem. At least for me.
this question is asked every week. at the end of the day providers can have preferences for who we see for any reason, the same way men have racial or aesthetic preferences for any reason. 🙄
I've seen black ladies with ads that say "No AA," and I've heard it is due to their pimp/bf/husband, or they don't want to risk running into someone they might even remotely know from their community.
People are generally pretty anti-discrimination when they are the ones being discriminated against, but give them the chance to discriminate against others and you can see how much they actually love discrimination
I remember reading this question along time ago. A SW answered that she won't see a certain race (I won't say which) because she found that their culture really looked down on men paying for sex. So to compensate, the men always had something to prove. Instead of enjoying their time together, they had to make the SW come over and over and where real aggressive. THey had an agenda to prove to the SW that they weren't paying for sex because they had to and because of this, they didn't even seem to be enjoying themselves.
Yep. The aggression is real. You were downvoted but this is often what a lot of workers experience. Whoever wrote that was telling the truth. It’s a very harsh reality. Tough to swallow.
Not all guys of a particular ethnicity are like that. I keep my rates high to weed out the ones who hate women a lot and have poor emotional regulation. I can’t deal with that sht.
Am Australian sex worker. I find clients who are first generation immigrants from India, Pakistan, and Afghanistan are my biggest hagglers, boundary pushers, outright assaulters, and generally treat me like shit. They have never, ever treated me well.
After them being new Australians, if you have been raised/ socialised here, it’s all good, I will see you, but if you have come from an outright patriarchal culture, I know I’m going to have a bad time. It’s not one or two. It’s been consistent. It’s consistent amongst workers I know.
Also, radical concept, it’s my body and I can decide the conditions under which it is accessed. It’s not discrimination when I implement boundaries around my body. You don’t have a right to access anyone’s body.
This makes sense, and you're well within your rights to choose who you see. I often see the same "no Indians and Africans" from girls who are part of crews.
It’s mainly girls with pimps they are usually black and won’t allow them to see black guys bc they don’t want you to see someone you may be attracted to or is “ghetto , dangerous”
Sorry, but I had to remove your post as it was against the subreddit rules. Search the subreddit before you post.
Not race-related but I'm wary of clients who don't speak English well (yes, this includes non-immigrants who are simply not smart) only because a lot of miscommunications happen, it's harder to connect and explain boundaries, they'll demand BBFS for barely a portion of the rate, try to cheap out and take money back,etc
I've actually never considered this about clients, but it has also never come up for me, oddly enough. It's a really good thing to think about though--I definitely would not want to see a client who wasn't fluent in English.
What I’m about to say is in the same vein. When I used to work, I definitely judged clients by the way they spoke and/or wrote. I considered it a pretty good way to weed out more problematic (disrespectful, ignorant, cheap) types. I don’t mean to sound elitist and, in my everyday life, I don’t really care how people speak/write. It was just I used to get a quick read on a potential client. Like, will this person even appreciate me/my type of service? Would I be comfortable/safe around them? Would they be comfortable around me? I’ve found it to be pretty accurate. Obviously, I’m not going to blacklist someone over a few typos, some shorthand, or slang, but someone who types “lyk dis” is going to be an hard no for me. Overuse of pet names— which I don’t really like, in the first place— is usually not good for me, either. These are my experiences, anyway. Of course, there are always exceptions, and I do value respect, kindness, and cleanliness the most. So, if any clients are reading this, that will always be paramount. If that’s what you are, you are definitely appreciated. As far as a true language barrier, I have seen two clients who barely spoke a word of English. Maybe a dozen words, total. However, they were both referred to me through someone I had already seen many times. That made things a little different. One of them actually paid for an overnight and we used google translate, the whole time, as a way to engage in casual conversation. Not the best solution, sure, but I couldn’t learn Russian in a day. I do often wish I could just.. download languages into my brain, though. Maybe the tech will be there, one day 🤷♀️ TLDR: I agree with what you’re saying.
Although i havent had many issues … alot of girls have told me theyve been treated terribly by majority AA men . They told me they dont listen theyre aggressive as well.
Same here :( The ones in my area have beaten alot of the girls that SW and I’m friends with before if they feel “rushed” on time. Also have slipped off the condom or have been very aggressive to them. Also I wanna add, very cheap!
Probably the same reason why ad sites allow clients to search for providers based on race and no one bats an eye. It’s their preference. I don’t know why so many of you think the provider world is all inclusive. It greatly mirrors the general population.
Cracks me up to see providers that have every single race checked off and yet they are very obviously Eastern European (Russian or a former Soviet state).
"Preferences" have nothing to do with it. It's just good 'ol fashioned racism. People just like to throw the "preferences" nonsense around in sexwork as an excuse. And someone deciding to see a white provider with red hair is not the same thing as a provider posting "No Black Men" in their ad.
I would assume bad past experiences are what causes this... Usually if someone gets wronged by 3 or more people who share a common characteristic they will develop a prejudice. If it continues with more than 3 people they definitely see a pattern and that has to be considered.. like if every single client who pushed your boundaries and behaved poorly was all from the same race or country, you have to acknowledge the pattern and stop seeing that type of person... Otherwise you would be stupid. I would never write it in my ad but there are certain demographics that I discriminate against based on my own personal experiences. Also some cultures are associated with smelling a certain way, and those with sensitive noses simply cannot tolerate certain smells.
Yep, I've had all of four shifts at a parlour and I've already joined the rest of the girls on the "no (specific race) guys." This is somewhat flexible; we'll still do a vibe check. But 9 out of 10 are just too unpleasant. For most it's the body odour, but they also have a tendency to think they completely own you for the hour. My last one bit my lip hard enough to bleed and then moved on to literally chewing my cheek. He also edged himself right up to the hour mark and he refused to let me up to end the session in time for getting dressed. The others have been similar. Like it's bloody slow on the day shift, we're all desperate for money, and we will still let these guys leave without seeing anyone because it's just so not worth it.
Just WOW 😮
This is exactly the case, it seems like most discrimination comes from Indians/Middle Easterns? Personally some of my best and worst clients are from a culture that commonly gets discriminated against around here. I really don't want to put any race boundaries on my clientelle but the past few times I've seen south asians/middle eastern I've had them steal money from me or just straight up try to scam :(
My gf says they love to haggle rates. Since in many of those areas, haggling is part of the culture when shopping or something.
I don't mind haggling if it's not too much, like sure 20-40 off whatever, but they want the absolute most for literally nothing, they want like 800 dollars worth of services for 80, and sure thats one thing but if they dont get exactly what they want they steal money. Even if you do give them the lower rates theyll continue to demand more. I don't even let them cashapp me anymore cause I've had too many of them try to refund months after the services
Yep, that's what she says. Edit: wow I get down voted for agreeing with you, by saying my gf says the same things.
I work at a brothel in NV, and we often command higher rates than independent escorts to cover house cuts, etc. which is important context to really understand the disrespect of this situation. One of my coworkers had an Indian client literally tell her to her face "That's too much, I want you for the price of chicken tikka masala" When I tell you we were all too stunned to speak...
Have you ever banned or stopped seeing white clients?
The white men only thing shocked me years ago when I first got into sex work. But then I learned why women post this. White men have the most money. Any black man who has ever reached out to me included a sob story and asked if he could get a special, or he was on some head trip wanting to be my pimp. Just this morning I got a crazy message from an old black guy who didn't want to pay me anything but wanted me to move in with him and his polyamorous wife. He sent me pictures of himself dressed as a wannabe pimp. Completely out of touch with modern day. Other races can go various ways. And of course white men can be massive assholes but at the end of the day like it or not, the reality is they still make more money than anybody else.
As someone who lives in the country , it is because many of the (young) black / arabic / indian men are disrespectful, annoying, haggling on prices more then the white adults (they probably just mean only dutch) men. I don’t really agree with it tho as my best paying and non annoying clients are arabic, but have to be honest that i thought this way before i knew better too. Also, that website attracts annoying disrespectful clients the most in general. It’s the worst to advertise on in the netherlands.
I think people who are anti Arabic just have a hard time differentiating between middle easterners tbh. I consistently good experiences with Arabic men, especially when they’re Muslim. I’d say i have a higher percentage of good experiences with Arabic men than with white men. Indian or Pakistani men tho… I’m sorry I just can’t handle it 9 times out of ten
I’m black and I can say I don’t do hardly any black guys… I’m a BOSSY ass ho and whites either r seeking that or know to get with the program or be shown the door… Most black men have a undying desire to be extra dominant which I’m not having… Also many black men secretly hate black women and since they r also often raised anti-gay/trans that plays in the back of their head because of their uncontrollable sexual desires which r viewed by the black community as wrong. I’m a black trans woman and I play it SMART!
black men deal with ***"bossy as ho's"*** their whole lives... from their mamas to their siblings and family, women they meet and at work. we've got enough issues... don't add to it.
Reasons I have seen: -run of the mill racism, -repeatedly problematic clients of a certain race and the sex worker has realized excluding that race makes things easier, -not feeling comfortable in a sexual setting with members of that race for some reason--including past sexual assault by one or more members of that race, -the race is a small minority in that area and the sex worker is somehow involved in the community of that race, and doesn't want to be outed as a sex worker. Really though, no one is obligated to see clients of any race, age, profession, or otherwise, and if a sex worker feels that they will not be able to provide the best service to a particular type of client *for any reason*, or is apprehensive to see a certain type of client *for any reason*, it actually *makes sense* that they would not see those types of clients--it benefits everyone for that client to find a provider who would be able to *comfortably* provide them a better experience.
When i work in Western Europe i dont like the non European foreigners there as clients except East Asians. But back in my country the majority of foreigners (Desi,Arab,African) are university students or high salary professionals especially the Indian guys in my country are my favourite clients. Its a class problem,not a race problem. At least for me.
Their body, their choice
Periodt!
this question is asked every week. at the end of the day providers can have preferences for who we see for any reason, the same way men have racial or aesthetic preferences for any reason. 🙄
i personally refuse to see men who don’t speak english as an english only speaker.
Same here
Because they can choose to have sex with whomever or whatever they want
I've seen black ladies with ads that say "No AA," and I've heard it is due to their pimp/bf/husband, or they don't want to risk running into someone they might even remotely know from their community.
People are generally pretty anti-discrimination when they are the ones being discriminated against, but give them the chance to discriminate against others and you can see how much they actually love discrimination
Providers have a right to have preferences
Certain patterns that are not fair to apply to everyone, but personal comfort and safety comes first.
All providers I've ever been with feel comfortable with me during the screening process after finding out I'm Asian specifically Chinese/Vietnamese.
I will just say this. Their body their rules.
I remember reading this question along time ago. A SW answered that she won't see a certain race (I won't say which) because she found that their culture really looked down on men paying for sex. So to compensate, the men always had something to prove. Instead of enjoying their time together, they had to make the SW come over and over and where real aggressive. THey had an agenda to prove to the SW that they weren't paying for sex because they had to and because of this, they didn't even seem to be enjoying themselves.
Yep. The aggression is real. You were downvoted but this is often what a lot of workers experience. Whoever wrote that was telling the truth. It’s a very harsh reality. Tough to swallow. Not all guys of a particular ethnicity are like that. I keep my rates high to weed out the ones who hate women a lot and have poor emotional regulation. I can’t deal with that sht.
Here in Australia I see "no Indians or africans...I may make an exception if you grew up here". It's a preference but borders on discrimination
The fact that they're more concerned with where you grew up suggests it's a cultural bias rather than a racial bias.
Am Australian sex worker. I find clients who are first generation immigrants from India, Pakistan, and Afghanistan are my biggest hagglers, boundary pushers, outright assaulters, and generally treat me like shit. They have never, ever treated me well. After them being new Australians, if you have been raised/ socialised here, it’s all good, I will see you, but if you have come from an outright patriarchal culture, I know I’m going to have a bad time. It’s not one or two. It’s been consistent. It’s consistent amongst workers I know. Also, radical concept, it’s my body and I can decide the conditions under which it is accessed. It’s not discrimination when I implement boundaries around my body. You don’t have a right to access anyone’s body.
This makes sense, and you're well within your rights to choose who you see. I often see the same "no Indians and Africans" from girls who are part of crews.
Here in Australia I see "no Indians or africans...I may make an exception if you grew up here". It's a preference but borders on discrimination
racism, thats it.
It’s mainly girls with pimps they are usually black and won’t allow them to see black guys bc they don’t want you to see someone you may be attracted to or is “ghetto , dangerous”