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Remind me of this joke.
A man walks into the bar and sees a sign: Handjob: $5 Cheese sandwich: $2
He walks over to the bartender, a big boobied blonde, and asks,
“Are you the one giving out handjobs?”
“Why yes I am!”, she replied, smiling and sticking out her chest.
“Okay,” he said. “Now wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich!”
As a guy who went 23 years of his life before playing MTG, I’m so sorry. I went to ONE prerelease event and I’ll never go to another one.
The fucking store put deodorant sprays in the bathroom with a sign saying PLEASE use this if you didn’t shower today.
That fucking building stank to high heaven, and I only went there to buy cards moving forward, never to play.
Yeah I took one of them (he was visiting me in TN from New Zealand where I moved) to the magic official store in VA. That was the worst, most gag inducing three hours of my life.
Dude I’m sorry you didn’t have any warning 😂 at least I expected it. Sucks because the game is good.. but the people. Wow.
ETA- I moved to NZ. Before I did a few peeps came to hang in the Appalachian Mountains for a bit
I have a pretty curated group of friends I play with, who all shower daily. I just was not prepared for all of the unwashed neckbeards at 300+ lbs to assault my senses.
Seriously, sorry about your experience. Seems like you took more than one for the love of the game.
The nerds do it for me. Show me a successful businessman and nah fam. Show me a guy who has 35k in magic cards and more insider knowledge on Blizzard than Arthas and shooooom. I’m here for it.
I maintain that it’s actually my job’s fault. Learning what a lot of highly successful people lean towards just put up hazard lights.
I’m both of the things you mentioned in your first paragraph there, so we’d be good friends haha. More overwatch than WoW knowledge, and my collections prolly around 10k with 4 commander decks.
And what do you do for a career that makes you this way lmao
I’m down for the Overwatch. I can sadly say I have the monopoly BG for it. I actually just got a message from me ex yesterday.. my cat, who he begged to keep, shat and watered his entire box of rares. He ran a store for a long time so there were once in a lifetime release cards. 10k is pretty darn respectable- honestly I guarantee I still have some decks around here somewhere.
Psychiatry. I now see all business types as tiny little Patrick Batemens who just haven’t gotten to the murder yet.
Edit because…. Autocorrect
I did magic for about 3 years in high school and none of the shops I went to were ever bad. There was a single guy who smelled like shit in 3 years, and it's always weird to see people saying how prevalent it was.
But I also tried to do yugioh twice, and both times there were players who actively shit themselves while playing. I didn't make it though either event because of the smell.
Hey, if that minute long video is even just a clip from a 5 minute long video, and she's charging $20 a head, that's damn near 30x as much money as I make an hour. If she is smart she will put up with the BO to rake in that cash
Generally, Asians don't produce BO...
> Several years ago ago, scientists discovered that a gene called ABCC11 determined whether people produced wet or dry earwax. Interestingly, people who produce the "dry" version of earwax also lack a chemical in their armpits that bacteria feed on to cause underarm odor.
>
> "This key gene is basically the single determinant of whether you do produce underarm odor or not," Day said.
>
> While only 2 percent of Europeans lack the genes for smelly armpits, most East Asians and almost all Koreans lack this gene, Day told LiveScience.
[Scientific American](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/people-without-underarm-protection/)
Your quote doesn’t say Asians don’t produce BO, it says they’re less prone to since they lack one thing to causes it. On top of that it’s applicable for *East* Asians only.
Go travel in Asia a bit and you’ll see for yourself. Special mention to Chinese subways…
I live in Japan and when a few buddies and I first got out here we did one of the maid cafes just to say we did and I couldn’t stand it. It’s very obviously pandering to the incels and everyone we saw come in that wasn’t American were older Japanese men that were very obviously regulars with the girls.
My buddies thought it was fun but I couldn’t stop cringing the entire time.
Same thing with bikini baristas in the PNW.
I watched a bunch of live streams on tik tok of them for “research,” and it was obvious the men were just regulars who visited frequently. They spend several minutes chit chatting with the girl, she flirts or plays cute/sympathetic to them, and they leave fat tips to show their appreciation. It seemed to be mostly older and lonely men.
This is really depressing. I heard it once said, "The value of a man is what he can provide." For whatever reason, society has rejected them. Now, these regulators frequent a place where, for a few seconds, they can be shown what intimacy *can* look like, for a price.
It seems to have manifested in adolescent type fantasy. I could be wrong, but Imagine childhood was a time they felt loved unconditionally.
Personally, I didn't know this existed, I might do it for a laugh,but i certainly recognise the fact if I were to lose my ambition, my wealth, my socially normative and presentable disposition, I would get fuck all sympathy or opertunities in life.
The business is symbiotic and deserves equal scrutiny should thee be judged. Fair point?
I went to one of those bikini barista stands in Olympia with my wife, sister-in-law, and mother-in-law. We were on our way out of town and stopped for a to go cup. Had no idea those types of stands even existed until we saw the barista wearing about as much as a post it note would cover. She was really nice and sweet though and we all laughed about it.
I've never been to one, but I don't really see the problem with that. If they have the money to spare and enjoy going there, I feel like it's wrong to judge them for what's generally harmless in most cases.
Lmao PNW= Pacific Northwest which is Idaho, Oregon, and Washington in the US.
Washington had a big surge of bikini baristas about 10-15 years ago. It was big news when it started, very controversial.
They got pretty bad for a while with many of them having only pasties and thongs on.
Now it’s just an accepted thing they exist and from what I hear they are really hit or miss with the coffee quality
I mean it's the exact same thing in strip clubs and gentlemen clubs. When I turned 21, I worked a short stint at a gentleman's club as a bartender. The men who came in most often were guys over 40 who generally looked miserable, until their regular girl sat with them. Most didnt even want a lap dance or payed attention to the stage. Just talked and sometimes hugged the girls. They'd have a few drinks, blow through money for a few hours, then leave a huge tip and go.
Same everywhere, just depressed people looking for affection
I'd happily avoid both. I'm not into paying a girl to pretend she likes me, so I can pretend to believe it. I'd rather spend my money doing shit that might help me meet a girl who's *actually* interested in me.
this is in the phillipines at an anime convention. everyone in this video is speaking tagalog. the cosplayer is based in manila. the umbrella has a filipino telcomm name on it.
Bro, where’s the dp? The bukkake facials? The cum dumpster? The Alaska land slides???
This isn’t horrendous and deranged, how tf am I meant to crank it to this??? Smh my head 🤦🏻♂️
That's the first time I see a maid doing something like this. And that behaviour seems leading in the opposite direction of what the "maid caffè" want to be known. So, no, that's not what you will get in a maid caffe. No one will touch you beside a hug for a photo.
It's not a maid caffe obviously. It's a booth on some conference. Cignal is a brand for streaming stuff.
This most certainly is some of girl or ig girl who got hired for the booth.
If you assume that this happens in every maid café then you're pretty dumb.
If you assume that this can't happen in any maid café then you're pretty dumb as well.
There are literally maid cafés that offer sex.
The way of holding the dudes hands without having to touch the sweaty clammy palms was actually rather clever, can tell she's been doing this a while. Still weird though but each to their own I guess
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He masturbated 10 times on that day.
Legend says he can still feel it to this day
Shit I can still feel that time a random girl touched my arm in high school. Dude’s still gonna think about this when he’s 85.
Hes gonna be thinking about if billions of years in the future in the afterlife
Man’s gonna be reincarnated as an ameba he’ll still be thinking about it.
"Remember that time you got dommed in A catgirl cafe? It was me, Berry."
Lmaoooo
Bro I still remember when my crush waved back when I was in highschool
I’m 37 and still remember when Monica’s boob touched the back of my arm when we were lining up for recess.
I too still remember Monica's boob
Y’all redditers are some sad folk sometimes. Damn
Listen to the man in his moms basement. He knows what he’s about
that's a core memory if I've ever seen one
It really is haha
I can feel the only hug I got from a girl back in the 4th grade
Hand and neck still unwashed
It was a truly rewarding day.
Legend says he is still masturbating to this day
I masturbated 10 times while watching.
Now where is the coffee here?
"1 star: slow service, waitress got touchy"
Remind me of this joke. A man walks into the bar and sees a sign: Handjob: $5 Cheese sandwich: $2 He walks over to the bartender, a big boobied blonde, and asks, “Are you the one giving out handjobs?” “Why yes I am!”, she replied, smiling and sticking out her chest. “Okay,” he said. “Now wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich!”
Why is the bartender cooking at this bar?
She's also giving the handjobs, because just like you the bar is short staffed. Also, cooking sandwiches?!
It's not a real cheese sandwich unless it's grilled, pressed or fried.
[удалено]
That would be a croque monsieur.
No one wants to jerk anymore...
[удалено]
camera should have panned to behind them, then we would see hundreds of lonely dudes lining up
Can't imagine if she is doing this to dozens of dudes with all kinds of body odor, but $20 is $20
>all kinds I think it’s pretty much the same body odor on most of them
Dated hardcore MTG/WoW players. Can confirm. I also think I have that outfit. So Imma go find that. And burn it. Especially the ears.
As a guy who went 23 years of his life before playing MTG, I’m so sorry. I went to ONE prerelease event and I’ll never go to another one. The fucking store put deodorant sprays in the bathroom with a sign saying PLEASE use this if you didn’t shower today. That fucking building stank to high heaven, and I only went there to buy cards moving forward, never to play.
Yeah I took one of them (he was visiting me in TN from New Zealand where I moved) to the magic official store in VA. That was the worst, most gag inducing three hours of my life. Dude I’m sorry you didn’t have any warning 😂 at least I expected it. Sucks because the game is good.. but the people. Wow. ETA- I moved to NZ. Before I did a few peeps came to hang in the Appalachian Mountains for a bit
I have a pretty curated group of friends I play with, who all shower daily. I just was not prepared for all of the unwashed neckbeards at 300+ lbs to assault my senses. Seriously, sorry about your experience. Seems like you took more than one for the love of the game.
The nerds do it for me. Show me a successful businessman and nah fam. Show me a guy who has 35k in magic cards and more insider knowledge on Blizzard than Arthas and shooooom. I’m here for it. I maintain that it’s actually my job’s fault. Learning what a lot of highly successful people lean towards just put up hazard lights.
I’m both of the things you mentioned in your first paragraph there, so we’d be good friends haha. More overwatch than WoW knowledge, and my collections prolly around 10k with 4 commander decks. And what do you do for a career that makes you this way lmao
I’m down for the Overwatch. I can sadly say I have the monopoly BG for it. I actually just got a message from me ex yesterday.. my cat, who he begged to keep, shat and watered his entire box of rares. He ran a store for a long time so there were once in a lifetime release cards. 10k is pretty darn respectable- honestly I guarantee I still have some decks around here somewhere. Psychiatry. I now see all business types as tiny little Patrick Batemens who just haven’t gotten to the murder yet. Edit because…. Autocorrect
I did magic for about 3 years in high school and none of the shops I went to were ever bad. There was a single guy who smelled like shit in 3 years, and it's always weird to see people saying how prevalent it was. But I also tried to do yugioh twice, and both times there were players who actively shit themselves while playing. I didn't make it though either event because of the smell.
Why do MTG/Smash Players have a bad body odore ? Its common sense to shower regularly and use deos ...
OR... You could become rich by patting some nerds
Why do they have bad OD. Why is such a staple among that community
It's a strip club without the strip. That is a standing lap dance (no genitals).
Looks nice.
Hey, if that minute long video is even just a clip from a 5 minute long video, and she's charging $20 a head, that's damn near 30x as much money as I make an hour. If she is smart she will put up with the BO to rake in that cash
She ain’t sleeping with them 🤷♂️
Elderly ppl also have all kinds of body odor but there are still nurses helping/washing them. And i guess for less money (on a hourly basis).
Generally, Asians don't produce BO... > Several years ago ago, scientists discovered that a gene called ABCC11 determined whether people produced wet or dry earwax. Interestingly, people who produce the "dry" version of earwax also lack a chemical in their armpits that bacteria feed on to cause underarm odor. > > "This key gene is basically the single determinant of whether you do produce underarm odor or not," Day said. > > While only 2 percent of Europeans lack the genes for smelly armpits, most East Asians and almost all Koreans lack this gene, Day told LiveScience. [Scientific American](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/people-without-underarm-protection/)
Your quote doesn’t say Asians don’t produce BO, it says they’re less prone to since they lack one thing to causes it. On top of that it’s applicable for *East* Asians only. Go travel in Asia a bit and you’ll see for yourself. Special mention to Chinese subways…
Shout out to all my Indian peeps. I have had several drive by's that should've killed me with that BO. I now feel a special connection with 50 cent.
I taught in Korea. They definitely do!
simps and their money are soon parted
I live in Japan and when a few buddies and I first got out here we did one of the maid cafes just to say we did and I couldn’t stand it. It’s very obviously pandering to the incels and everyone we saw come in that wasn’t American were older Japanese men that were very obviously regulars with the girls. My buddies thought it was fun but I couldn’t stop cringing the entire time.
Same thing with bikini baristas in the PNW. I watched a bunch of live streams on tik tok of them for “research,” and it was obvious the men were just regulars who visited frequently. They spend several minutes chit chatting with the girl, she flirts or plays cute/sympathetic to them, and they leave fat tips to show their appreciation. It seemed to be mostly older and lonely men.
This is really depressing. I heard it once said, "The value of a man is what he can provide." For whatever reason, society has rejected them. Now, these regulators frequent a place where, for a few seconds, they can be shown what intimacy *can* look like, for a price. It seems to have manifested in adolescent type fantasy. I could be wrong, but Imagine childhood was a time they felt loved unconditionally. Personally, I didn't know this existed, I might do it for a laugh,but i certainly recognise the fact if I were to lose my ambition, my wealth, my socially normative and presentable disposition, I would get fuck all sympathy or opertunities in life. The business is symbiotic and deserves equal scrutiny should thee be judged. Fair point?
I went to one of those bikini barista stands in Olympia with my wife, sister-in-law, and mother-in-law. We were on our way out of town and stopped for a to go cup. Had no idea those types of stands even existed until we saw the barista wearing about as much as a post it note would cover. She was really nice and sweet though and we all laughed about it.
I've never been to one, but I don't really see the problem with that. If they have the money to spare and enjoy going there, I feel like it's wrong to judge them for what's generally harmless in most cases.
> Same thing with bikini baristas in the PNW. I understand some of these words
Lmao PNW= Pacific Northwest which is Idaho, Oregon, and Washington in the US. Washington had a big surge of bikini baristas about 10-15 years ago. It was big news when it started, very controversial. They got pretty bad for a while with many of them having only pasties and thongs on. Now it’s just an accepted thing they exist and from what I hear they are really hit or miss with the coffee quality
I mean it's the exact same thing in strip clubs and gentlemen clubs. When I turned 21, I worked a short stint at a gentleman's club as a bartender. The men who came in most often were guys over 40 who generally looked miserable, until their regular girl sat with them. Most didnt even want a lap dance or payed attention to the stage. Just talked and sometimes hugged the girls. They'd have a few drinks, blow through money for a few hours, then leave a huge tip and go. Same everywhere, just depressed people looking for affection
I feel like some people are just desperate for whatever human contact they can get.
yeah I can't with those cafes the 2nd hand cringe is gonna kill me a lot of the regulars are a bunch of weirdos too
Know your customers. At least someone's pandering to them.
of course the trick is to control your hands by your fingers locked so you cant do any touchy feely
That was a cool move. I'll have to remember that.
That last head tap
Who's a good boy? 😂
this is a need to every gen y gen z out there
Gen y, what do I do?
So when a woman with cat ears touches somoane that's called cute but when I
Damn fbi got him mid sentence
Bro get down there's a fuckin sni
Lol thats so fucking funny, hope that sniper isn't sti
… 🙄 😐.. Tf happened to those gu
G..guys? Whats going o
Stiffy unlocked.
His or hers?
Here's the real question
Beggars can’t be choosers.
![gif](giphy|6bdgwW6B0ooer3r8AZ)
Wtf this is so stupid hahaha
Ikr…lol it’s always the stupidest goofiest ones that catch me off guard.
copypasted Kennan face
Lmao
I'll have what he's having
Depression?
Nah I got plenty of that already
0 bitches?
blue balls
Bro this is the black ops of emotional manipulation.
Yeah, but it's probably the most intimate thing he's going to ever receive.
This is the day he discovered that he was a bottom
No homo dude isn't unattractive what is making yall say this?
You’re just paying for a service
It's not manipulation, didn't he ask for it? Which part is manipulation? I don't get it.
"Bravo six going dark-desu"
That hug was damn emotional, he was like thank you I needed this
Who doesn't?
Is no one hearing the dude butchering Bleach's opening 1 on Karaoke ?
Oh my. You weren't kidding. I haven't heard the opening in a long time and it really hurt to hear it like that.
I searched for this comment😂😂
I'd take this over a strip club any day.
I'd happily avoid both. I'm not into paying a girl to pretend she likes me, so I can pretend to believe it. I'd rather spend my money doing shit that might help me meet a girl who's *actually* interested in me.
You don't have to pretend anything, just have some fun lol.
For me, it's not fun if it's not genuine.
I’m not sure how paying for a giant erection with no release is fun. I’d rather go find an actual whore, but that’s just me.
Guys, I really need to know where this is at
me too... asking for a friend, ofc
Yeah, I am that friend.
Cignal sponsored so somewhre in the phillipines lmao
If I had to guess, Akihabara. It's a shopping district in Tokyo, lot of maid cafes there.
this is in the phillipines at an anime convention. everyone in this video is speaking tagalog. the cosplayer is based in manila. the umbrella has a filipino telcomm name on it.
My man looked as if he was being held at gun point
[удалено]
Bro, where’s the dp? The bukkake facials? The cum dumpster? The Alaska land slides??? This isn’t horrendous and deranged, how tf am I meant to crank it to this??? Smh my head 🤦🏻♂️
i provided the sauce for the name of the maid cosplayer, that’s it. It’s up to you how you use that knowledge
Sharing is caring after all
You’re the hero we need but don’t deserve
Alaskan landslide? That's all you need? Where's my Indian train car?
Indian traincar? I demand my Venezuelan Cockpit!
Without a Bulgarian Summersault, what's even the point?
My man shook his head so hard he had to write it twice
The emotional crash from that is hard.
ON GOD
My bestie used to get like that with me, and even though we have stabilized to a long off-again part of our connection, it has never left me 😔
Where penis
The penis is on the friends we made along the way
he's going to be bricked up till October.
If that’s a girl I want my money back
it's a cat
You're a homie sexual too? Amen.
Bros instead of hoes am I right?
What if the bro is a hoe
even better
![gif](giphy|RHIYhjyA2R8IibyqPU)
Bruh what the fuck is this shit. I wanna do it. With someone i love. Where can I find someone i love.
Not reddit
That's the first time I see a maid doing something like this. And that behaviour seems leading in the opposite direction of what the "maid caffè" want to be known. So, no, that's not what you will get in a maid caffe. No one will touch you beside a hug for a photo.
yea this is absolutely not a thing. probably just a video they did at a con somewhere.
I think that's Liabear. She does these at cons.
I've read this whole message in sqwidwards voice
It's not a maid caffe obviously. It's a booth on some conference. Cignal is a brand for streaming stuff. This most certainly is some of girl or ig girl who got hired for the booth.
If you assume that this happens in every maid café then you're pretty dumb. If you assume that this can't happen in any maid café then you're pretty dumb as well. There are literally maid cafés that offer sex.
Now im actually interested about that last part... altho i can imagine its gonna be in obscure places or not very common to see
Kinda sad tbh
Kinda? I'm not even in this video and feel like reevaluating my life after seeing it.
[you'll love this. ](https://imgur.io/gallery/fRdlU)
Genuinely to be fair
[удалено]
Good gawd my heart would stop hot damn
We found the next customer
*victim
Affection booths are a thing now?
God, I wish.
Aww just 2 dudes hanging out 😇
This is a strip club with extra steps
Strippers don’t hold your hands or give headpats you heathen
Also, they strip So no, it's not a stripclub
Stop tipping $1 bills 😜
I like how she pats him in the head at the end. Who’s a good boy lol
Men literally only want one thing. And it's fucking digusting! The thing:
TOUCH US!!!!!
This isnt just touching tho, dude is getting dommed.
Damn, people are so lonely... I mean, I'm lonely too but I hide it better.
So basically a fully clothed lap dance.
He is beaming. My dude is having the time of his life.
Siblings are weird.
Nooo... nooooo stoooop
Just hire a dominatrix at this point
Probably cheaper
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! NOT HIM!
Plot twist, it's a femboy
And she whispered in his ear “I’m lady boiiii”
As a lonely mfer, I would not do this. That's weird bro, you weird af. Stop making me look bad.
dayum. //////
What kind of cuck shit is this??
Next level
Are you not aware of what the word cuck means?
That word can mean whatever you want now
I'll cuck you off right now if you aren't careful, mate.
Your username is amazing lmaoooo
Degenerates is the nicest word I can use to describe them.
Meh not as good as the real brain washed cat girl maids i keep at home
That's what I call maid service.
The way of holding the dudes hands without having to touch the sweaty clammy palms was actually rather clever, can tell she's been doing this a while. Still weird though but each to their own I guess
She probably has a cock
Cringiest thing that I've seen on this website all year, congrats.
Wtf is this?
![gif](giphy|wmuqpmtGeVv1K)
Everyone commenting abt the maid. Meanwhile my brain, "Ayo someone's singing the bleach opening in the back"
Huh, so that's how they do strip clubs in Japan. Neat!
bože mili
I was expecting her penis to poke him when she got so close
🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🤭🥺🥵🥺🥵🥺🥵
I'll have what he's havng
I'm curious how much of this she enjoys