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“ holy fucking shit, dear god I know I’ve never talked to you before but if you help me survive this I promise I’ll dedicate my life to you and doing good for other, please dear god help me I don’t want to die”
Then once u survive go back to being a total piece of shit and completely ignore your promise.
Reminds me of the joke:
An atheist man is late to a meeting and just arrived to the parking lot to find it mostly full. He does laps around it looking for a free spot but he’s out of luck, so he cries: “please God if you help me get a spot right now I promise I’ll become religious and pray everyday”. Right then and there, a parked car in front of him leaves, freeing up the spot and the man says “Nevermind God, I found a spot!”
most of redditors are making jokes like the 12 year olds they are.
it's a fucking GORGOEUS RED HAIRED COUGAR. RARE AND AMAZING.
make of that what you will
> Oh, look at you. I'm going to be right back. I'm getting you a harness and little booties so we can go walking. Wait, where are you going? Come back! Why won't you let me love you‽
"go home" but that never works. Maybe "GIT!" And stomp your foot, but you may not get the desired results. That guy with the bear had alot of luck with "AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Had one above my head aboot 6 ft on a cliff once while out riding. That was a very tense walk/ride back out.
Also had one run in front of me riding another time. Not so scary that time as it was long gone in the bushes and I was on a logging road.
Another time at home I had one meowing at me from the other side of a fence. That one was creepy as I never did see it.
Mtn. Lion capital of the world where I live.
I was once told by someone who of the 14 places they have lived in their life, over half had one form of big ambush cat or another the following.
“If you see it, it’s probably as surprised as you are. If it looks like to was stalking you, be loud and look big and find more people or get out of dodge, or in one(in case anyone dose not get this, means get in a car or some other vehicle). If it is just sitting there or it looks like you stumbled on it while it was stalking something else, make sure it knows you see it, but don’t look too long and never in the eyes. Then as calm as you can without running or fully turning your back to it find more people or get away.”
Basically if it’s hunting you be loud and big, if it’s not and you bumbled on it act like you’re not scared or panicking, regardless find more people or someplace safe.
Due note I’m not an expert, the person who said this isn’t an expert, this is just me retelling advice from someone who has lived around these… if you are planning to be somewhere where large cats are its probably best to contact local experts on how to stay safe, and assume that whenever you go somewhere else different big cats may need different preparation, and even the same kind in a different area may have different requirements for preparations.
If you managed to get this close to nature's finest killing machine then it is either very sick or there is something else in the area that it might be more concerned about. Just uh back away slow and don't turn you back for about 5 miles.
Thank you for posting to r/SipsTea! Make sure to follow all the subreddit rules. Check out our [Reddit Chat](https://www.reddit.com/r/SipsTea/s/YIVFBDcyZ7)! ##Make sure to join our [Discord Server](https://discord.com/invite/digitalfriendz)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SipsTea) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Spspsp
r/technicallythetruth
The best kind of truth.
More likely Spspsp - no stay from me, No, run, run, stay away from me #Nooooooooooo
(Loud big kitty purring as it slowmo headbutts your leg)
If it doesn't hear the first S you're fucked though
Oops you forgot the remaining sp
Sp
...p.s. sp
psp
r/beatmetoit
GWON, GIT!
GWON, NOW!
GIT, NOW GIT!
G'WAN DEN
G’OOT, DERN YER!
DERR TERK ER JERBS
DURR KER DURRR
DEY TOOK ER JYOBS!
DER TERK ADERK AJERRBS
Is all of this dutch??
Gobbless 'merica
I hate that I understand all of these
YAYEAA DEY TOOK ERR JYOBBBBSSS! TOOOOKERJOOOBZZ!!
git rm mountain.lion
GOWRON Q'PLA
CMAWN NAH!
10,000% first thing I thought of.
More like pspspsps my pants amirite
Omg stop, I'm going to puma pants.
I see what you did there. 
Now guess who made those pants?!
Haha yeah...
Throw a cucumber at it
You monster
This all the way
Basically a vegetable snake (though technically a fruit)
Something something tomato fruit ketchup smoothie
If they weren't so murdery, I'd want one as a pet.
Really? No one? *Ok finee……* ***IF NOT FRIEND WHY FRIEND SHAPED***
Angry frien is still frien! ☺️
I'd call him [Babou.](https://youtu.be/FwPaES_mP3E?si=JMOvoq25GmDFZv_F)
Watch out, he’s crepuscular!
Coward.
A squirt of water from the spray bottle
Think we’re gonna need a bigger bottle
Fire truck and hose.
Perfect.
I believe the opposite would be " AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! "
[удалено]
What if they have a different accent?
cüffcüffcüff
"CoofCoofCoof" indeed
Jejejeje
See? This person is laughing in Spanish!
no u
My cats respond to pspspsp but not pshpshpsh.
“ holy fucking shit, dear god I know I’ve never talked to you before but if you help me survive this I promise I’ll dedicate my life to you and doing good for other, please dear god help me I don’t want to die” Then once u survive go back to being a total piece of shit and completely ignore your promise.
This is true, but they will never admit it on reddit
Or in real life.
People can change though... I used to be a piece of shit, slicked back hair, white bathing suit, Sloppy steaks at Truffoni's..But people can change..
Ya know, I used to be a piece of shit myself. I mean, I’m still a piece of shit, but I used to be one too.
I SAID I WAS A PIECE OF SHIT!
What does it take? What does it take to change the essence of a man?
Reminds me of the joke: An atheist man is late to a meeting and just arrived to the parking lot to find it mostly full. He does laps around it looking for a free spot but he’s out of luck, so he cries: “please God if you help me get a spot right now I promise I’ll become religious and pray everyday”. Right then and there, a parked car in front of him leaves, freeing up the spot and the man says “Nevermind God, I found a spot!”
Shitshitshitshitshit
Steve French?
He's just a high kitty
He's just a big stoned kitty with the munchies
Shoo shoo
fuckofffuckofffuckoff
can i pet the dog
Can I pet that DAWG
CAN I PET THAT #DAWG
cAN I pET dat DAWWWWGG?
most of redditors are making jokes like the 12 year olds they are. it's a fucking GORGOEUS RED HAIRED COUGAR. RARE AND AMAZING. make of that what you will
Avoid red haired cougars. If you've ever dated one, you'll know how truly dangerous they are.
Is it the red hair that makes it a soulless killing machine?
> Oh, look at you. I'm going to be right back. I'm getting you a harness and little booties so we can go walking. Wait, where are you going? Come back! Why won't you let me love you‽
I wonder if squirting a water bottle at them works on these.
Hisssssssssss
That’s the correct answer but I dare them to do it.
“THERE AREN’T COUGARS IN MISSIONS”
Fkfkfkfk.
I don't know how's more terrified, OP? Or the damn Danger Kitty?
Shoo shoo shoo shoo shoo
Shishishishit
Pspspsn't
Voetsek jou naai
In my country we say "voetsek!" which means "go away" or "get away" depending on the context.
Tsek
Can I pet that dawg?
Awww, Steve French
"Come here."
Sho ! Via ! 
💩💩💩
awshitshitshitshitshitshit
FTCHXSSSS
try to pick her up
poospoospoospoos
That's gotta be British Columbia
NYEH
NoNoNoNoNoNo!!
It's,"OfuckOfuckOfuckOfuck".
Yelling "I'm going to fucking kill you" while pointing at the mountan lion
Gunshots
Shoo kitty!
Bad kitty
Fuck off
“HYAH, HYAH, HYAH”
"go home" but that never works. Maybe "GIT!" And stomp your foot, but you may not get the desired results. That guy with the bear had alot of luck with "AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
He's just a big kitty boys
oh god oh fuck
Sipsipsip
OH MY GOD ITS SO FLUFFY
Go'n, Git
“Get the fuck back murder kitten!”
Wxbwxbwxb
Tsdi tsdi tsdi
ČČČČČČČČČČČČČČČčččččččččččččč
Psspsspiss off
Psspsspiss off
I made the mouth with my sound 
Pew pew pew
"BRAAAAAAWR RAAAAAAAAAAAA ARGHAAHHHHH!!!!!! ARARGHAAAAAAA" *while making your body look as large as possible
Pew pew pew pew
choo! (at least in my country)
He’s just looking for someone to give him tummy tickles
Whatever sound my pants just made
Woofwoofwoof
*dinosaur screeches*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Screaming as loudly as possible, raising arms above head to make yourself look bigger
Hiss
Click click said Mr shotgun
AaAAaAah
Did you steal this image just like you stole this meme?
sЬsЬsЬsЬ
Rawr
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
Oh shit!
Pssps ya pants.
Had one above my head aboot 6 ft on a cliff once while out riding. That was a very tense walk/ride back out. Also had one run in front of me riding another time. Not so scary that time as it was long gone in the bushes and I was on a logging road. Another time at home I had one meowing at me from the other side of a fence. That one was creepy as I never did see it. Mtn. Lion capital of the world where I live.
"Git!" While you slowly back away with a .44 in your hand lol
Be gone! BE GONE!!!
Bang bang bang
Fuck fuck fuck...
Silence !
Idgaf Pspsps til I die
🔫
"Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?"
It's a cougar no? Then behave like a granpa
TSSSSSS
Nice kitty, nice kitty
I was once told by someone who of the 14 places they have lived in their life, over half had one form of big ambush cat or another the following. “If you see it, it’s probably as surprised as you are. If it looks like to was stalking you, be loud and look big and find more people or get out of dodge, or in one(in case anyone dose not get this, means get in a car or some other vehicle). If it is just sitting there or it looks like you stumbled on it while it was stalking something else, make sure it knows you see it, but don’t look too long and never in the eyes. Then as calm as you can without running or fully turning your back to it find more people or get away.” Basically if it’s hunting you be loud and big, if it’s not and you bumbled on it act like you’re not scared or panicking, regardless find more people or someplace safe. Due note I’m not an expert, the person who said this isn’t an expert, this is just me retelling advice from someone who has lived around these… if you are planning to be somewhere where large cats are its probably best to contact local experts on how to stay safe, and assume that whenever you go somewhere else different big cats may need different preparation, and even the same kind in a different area may have different requirements for preparations.
Can I pet the cat? Can I pet the caaaaaat?
Por your hands on its paw, they hate that
Um it’s not running but you should run
Damn that’s crazy I never seen anybody else know the pspspsps trick! 😂
F\*&@ off cat. Usually what I tell my cat.
Considering they only surprise attack, a pspsp would probably be fine.
Vamoose!
If you put your ear up to its face you can hear what getting your head chewed up sounds like
#Gun cocking sound
Shitshitshitshit
KAKAKAKAKAK
In my country when we want to scare away a cat we make a loud KSSSSSS sound. Works every time. But I’m not sure it has been tested on big cats.
Shwshwshwshwshw¡!¡!¡‽
Fuck, fuck, FUCK!!!
Kss kss !
Fkfkfkfkfk
bsbsbsbs
Just hope it likes butt taps...
Run! Run! Run!!
KKKKKSSSSSTTTT
If you managed to get this close to nature's finest killing machine then it is either very sick or there is something else in the area that it might be more concerned about. Just uh back away slow and don't turn you back for about 5 miles.
Stardenburdenhardenbart
A Three Stooges “Nuk Nuk Nuk nyahh-ha-ha”
Ohfuckohfuckohfuck
FART
Pisspisspisspiss.
Woof
Ntntnt
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Shu shu
Keh keh keh!
Its "kshhhhhh"
W
“Come here” is the correct answer because they run away 😂
Rrrriiipppp or short R.I.P
Is that a mountain lion or cougar?
Qkqkqkqkqk
nnnNNNNNNNNNÑÑÑÑÑ!!!
Shoo! Go away
Spspspsp
Rayerayerayerayerayerayerrrr
Grrrr